February 24, 2025 • 24 mins
Hi beautiful! ♥️
Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media, comparing your looks, your life, or your relationship to someone else’s highlight reel? It’s so easy to feel like you’re not enough when all you see are picture-perfect moments. But here’s the truth: comparison is one of the biggest confidence killers, and it’s keeping you stuck in insecurity, questioning your worth, and settling for less than God’s best.
In this episode, I’m breaking down why comparison is stealing your joy and revealing three powerful, biblical ways to break free from insecurity so you can finally walk in the confidence God created you for.
If you’re ready to stop feeling “less than” and start stepping into your true identity in Christ, grab your journal, hit play, and let’s do this together!
See you on the inside!
Xo, Dani
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It is so easy to compare ourselves nowadays.
(00:05):
Literally everywhere we turn, all the hours we spend on social media, we're seeing people who we admire, who we look up to, and honestly, like, who look like they have the life that we want, and sometimes it can inspire us, and then other times it can just make us feel like straight up sucky about ourselves and what's going on in our life.
(00:29):
It makes us feel like we're missing something, whether that's externally or within ourselves.
.0033324And it's like, okay, makes you question, my gosh, like what's wrong with me? You know, why can't I just have a cute button nose like her? Why can't my body look like hers? Or, why can't I have clean skin? Like, why do I have to be the one to deal with acne? Why am I stuck in this life sucking job? Why can't I find something that allows me to have the time and financial freedom that I want? heart, why did I just experience my heart getting ripped out from me when I see all these healthy relationships with the men of God on social media? And all these thoughts, right, and this comparison, it causes us to just spiral. 5 00:01:17,16.0033324 --> 00:01:25,26.0033324 And if we don't break the cycle, it's going to continue happening and get worse and worse and worse. 6 00:01:25,776.0033324 --> 00:01:33,366.0033324 So this is exactly why I'm bringing you three ways to break out of this self doubt and insecurity cycle, sister. 7 00:01:33,826.0033324 --> 00:01:35,886.0033324 This is not what God wants for you. 8 00:01:36,67.484309398 --> 00:01:52,367.4843094 He needs you to be focused on him and your calling that you won't be able to fulfill if you're looking to the right and to the left at what you're lacking, at what you don't have, at why you can't, which is causing you to be stuck and stagnant. 9 00:01:52,878.27168568 --> 00:01:57,78.12466262 So get ready, grab your journal, we're gonna tackle this today. 10 00:01:57,276.78464213 --> 00:01:58,476.78464213 Hey, beautiful. 11 00:01:58,516.78464213 --> 00:02:02,316.78464213 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 12 00:02:02,436.78464213 --> 00:02:25,136.78464213 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 13 00:02:25,186.78364213 --> 00:02:26,726.78364213 Well, sis, you're not alone. 14 00:02:26,796.78464213 --> 00:02:27,926.78464213 I've been there, too. 15 00:02:28,36.78464213 --> 00:02:35,206.78464213 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 16 00:02:35,326.78464213 --> 00:02:40,996.78464213 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 17 00:02:41,36.78464213 --> 00:02:46,466.78464213 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 18 00:02:46,506.78464213 --> 00:02:52,36.78464213 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 19 00:02:52,201.78464213 --> 00:03:07,381.78464213 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 20 00:03:07,521.78364213 --> 00:03:10,491.78464213 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 21 00:03:10,621.78464213 --> 00:03:16,641.78464213 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 22 00:03:16,888.78593351 --> 00:03:24,104.43879699 Sister, can we talk about something real for a second? Comparison truly is killing your confidence. 23 00:03:24,664.43879699 --> 00:03:27,144.43879699 I know you see other women who seem to have it all together. 24 00:03:27,424.43779699 --> 00:03:43,264.43879699 Thriving relationships, unshakable faith, a glow that makes you wonder, what is it that they have that I don't? And before you even realize it, that self doubt creeps in, you start believing the lie that maybe you're just not good enough. 25 00:03:43,744.43879699 --> 00:03:45,444.43879699 That you're behind in life. 26 00:03:45,754.43879699 --> 00:03:51,374.43879699 That love and confidence were meant for everyone else, but not you. 27 00:03:52,254.43779699 --> 00:03:56,494.43879699 And I'm very familiar with this cycle because I have lived it. 28 00:03:57,174.43779699 --> 00:04:11,34.43879699 I spent years stuck in lust and heartbreak, doubting my worth, and trying to convince myself that if I just waited long enough, the pain would pass, it would leave, it would dissipate. 29 00:04:11,299.39060183 --> 00:04:12,519.39060183 But it didn't. 30 00:04:12,964.5926776 --> 00:04:18,804.5916776 it kept me trapped until I finally did the work to heal at a soul level. 31 00:04:19,244.5926776 --> 00:04:22,374.5926776 And that's exactly what I want to help you do. 32 00:04:22,944.30339716 --> 00:04:36,454.30339716 I'm hosting a live masterclass literally tomorrow, Tuesday, February 25th, called, How I Healed at a Soul Level and Finally Stopped Settling in My Life and in My Relationships. 33 00:04:36,771.36236394 --> 00:04:46,611.36236394 So if you've been struggling with insecurity, toxic cycles, or feeling unworthy of the love and life you desire, this is for you. 34 00:04:47,351.36236394 --> 00:05:07,775.7707654 In the masterclass, I'm going to walk you through the exact steps that I took the last four years to finally break free from toxic cycles that were keeping me stuck, how to rebuild my confidence in Christ and actually believe in my worth, and attract God centered love from a place of wholeness, not loneliness. 35 00:05:08,410.73612112 --> 00:05:15,710.73612112 If you're tired of letting comparison, insecurity, and your past hold you back, this is your moment. 36 00:05:16,30.73612112 --> 00:05:18,380.73512112 Don't wait for time to heal you. 37 00:05:18,730.73612112 --> 00:05:22,360.73612112 Do the work and let God restore you from the inside out. 38 00:05:22,545.35634781 --> 00:05:24,215.35534781 Go ahead and head to bit. 39 00:05:25,445.35634781 --> 00:05:29,55.35634781 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 40 00:05:29,315.35634781 --> 00:05:29,745.35634781 That's bit. 41 00:05:29,745.45634781 --> 00:05:34,605.35634781 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 42 00:05:34,832.30932504 --> 00:05:36,982.30932504 to register before all spots are taken. 43 00:05:37,362.30932504 --> 00:05:42,812.30932504 It's time to step into the confidence and love that you were always meant for. 44 00:05:43,112.66007175 --> 00:05:44,152.66107175 Let's do this together. 45 00:05:44,605.38774206 --> 00:05:51,705.38774206 Okay, but seriously, I have spent so much of my life comparing myself to other women. 46 00:05:52,165.38774206 --> 00:05:56,115.38774206 And this was something that really, really brought me down in my youth years. 47 00:05:56,145.38674206 --> 00:05:57,265.38774206 And I think we can all relate. 48 00:05:57,285.38774206 --> 00:06:03,895.38774206 Like those years, it's like everything matters and everything is just super, super important. 49 00:06:04,565.38774206 --> 00:06:06,435.38774206 And everything feels like a crisis. 50 00:06:06,725.38774206 --> 00:06:20,615.38674206 And I remember that, you know, while I was in middle school, high school, and some of college, like, there was this comparison that made me shrink myself back and feel like I wasn't good enough to be anyone's, like, best friend. 51 00:06:20,905.38774206 --> 00:06:25,845.38774206 Like, I always doubted the way peop like, I always doubted if people liked me or not. 52 00:06:26,451.38312361 --> 00:06:37,241.38212361 And I would look at, you know, the popular girls in high school a lot and I thought that they were so much prettier, funnier, cooler, more likable than me. 53 00:06:37,571.3831236 --> 00:06:45,441.3831236 And it made me minimize my personality and like try to be cool, which wasn't like, you know, versus like being authentic. 54 00:06:46,1.38312361 --> 00:07:18,153.02421339 And I felt so insecure within myself to the point where I literally felt like an outcast for wearing pads versus tampons, which is It's literally a high school thing like I know we're like way past that and that's like not my story now But I remember like these are the things that just would play in my mind over and over and it wasn't until I started viewing myself as valuable, you know, despite any validation that I would get or that I wouldn't get from other people. 55 00:07:18,583.02421339 --> 00:07:33,583.02421339 Um, I identified myself as, oh wow, like okay, I am funny, I am likable, and I am kind and caring, and I say these qualities because these are the qualities that I actually really admired in other people. 56 00:07:33,963.02421339 --> 00:07:35,943.02421339 And I didn't think that I, I had them. 57 00:07:36,643.02421339 --> 00:07:40,903.02421339 And so I started to lean more into these parts of myself. 58 00:07:41,163.02421339 --> 00:07:46,333.02321339 And it helped me break out of this hold that insecurity had on me. 59 00:07:46,726.29310108 --> 00:07:59,306.29310108 And so I want to start by sharing why comparison is this main sabotager of your confidence and then give you three ways to remove it from your life. 60 00:07:59,741.47981705 --> 00:08:04,319.66259892 So, let's dive into why comparison sabotages your confidence. 61 00:08:04,639.66259892 --> 00:08:13,489.66159892 You know, if we look at the root of why you compare yourself, you know, when you look at other women, it is a lack of security. 62 00:08:14,579.66259892 --> 00:08:27,429.66259892 And I, I also, I think it's safe to say that it's a lack of gratefulness with how God made you, like your perspective is off when you fall into this negative comparison cycle. 63 00:08:27,801.27400368 --> 00:08:45,191.27400368 you lack this confidence with, with who you are and you have this unawareness of your strengths, which is causing you to focus on your weaknesses, like your weaknesses seem so big and so loud because you have this inability to see your strengths. 64 00:08:45,521.55726548 --> 00:08:55,651.63789708 And also, this voice that's telling you you lack XYZ and this is why you aren't the woman that you want to be. 65 00:08:55,791.25943586 --> 00:09:00,131.25843586 Like this ideal version of yourself has to have these qualities that you lack. 66 00:09:00,371.25943586 --> 00:09:02,641.25943586 And this is just not the truth. 67 00:09:03,66.13703587 --> 00:09:10,316.13703587 And I just want to normalize comparison because I think all of us women face it no matter what stage of life you are. 68 00:09:10,923.96004344 --> 00:09:21,281.31870212 and it's very easy to fall into because we see people every single day that look like that they have it all figured out, that they look like they have the relationship we want. 69 00:09:21,281.31870212 --> 00:09:34,231.31870212 We see their best days, the best of their relationship, the mountaintops, the celebrations, the wins, and not really the lows that they experience on a day to day or what they had to go through to get to the mountaintop. 70 00:09:34,231.31870212 --> 00:09:37,491.31870212 And this is so major and this is going to be one of our points later. 71 00:09:37,770.63092469 --> 00:09:42,920.63092469 But you, you, you never know somebody's story about how they got to where they are. 72 00:09:43,135.61221643 --> 00:10:06,781.45810995 And I think we can all identify when we do fall into comparison, but if maybe you're like at a point where it's like, Okay, well how can I know and alert myself that I'm falling into it? This is when you are downing yourself, you're downing your abilities, and when you are seeing somebody else's wins and attributes that you admire, and it makes you feel less than. 73 00:10:07,121.45810995 --> 00:10:09,41.45810995 It makes you feel bad about yourself. 74 00:10:09,281.45810995 --> 00:10:11,51.45710995 It makes you feel like you don't measure up. 75 00:10:11,61.45710995 --> 00:10:14,631.45810995 There's something off or wrong or broken in you. 76 00:10:14,932.18772369 --> 00:10:19,444.74807777 And, you guys all know, Famous quote, comparison is a thief of joy. 77 00:10:19,794.74807777 --> 00:10:22,524.74807777 So, of course, when you do this, it's gonna steal your joy. 78 00:10:22,854.74807777 --> 00:10:26,834.74807777 And it's going to mentally steal your value. 79 00:10:26,834.74807777 --> 00:10:31,334.74807777 And I say mentally stealing your value, because it's not actually stealing your value. 80 00:10:31,344.74707777 --> 00:10:32,794.74807777 Nothing can steal your value. 81 00:10:32,804.74807777 --> 00:10:40,94.74807777 No sin, no backsliding, no failure, no mistake can take away your value. 82 00:10:40,334.1110462 --> 00:10:43,64.1110462 Like, your value's already been defined. 83 00:10:43,404.1110462 --> 00:10:45,884.1110462 It's just the way that you see your value. 84 00:10:45,884.1110462 --> 00:10:48,314.1110462 Again, it's your perspective that's off. 85 00:10:48,923.92103376 --> 00:10:58,223.92103376 the perspective of yourself is making you believe less of yourself and that negative self talk starts to play again and again in your mind. 86 00:10:58,563.92103376 --> 00:11:05,123.92103376 Which then causes you to fall into these cycles and it gets worse over time if you don't confront it. 87 00:11:05,358.68072346 --> 00:11:18,948.68172346 And so moving into this first way to overcome this insecurity, you want to change your perspective from, oh, look what they have that I don't, to, oh, look at the person they've become. 88 00:11:19,308.68172346 --> 00:11:20,788.68172346 How frickin inspiring. 89 00:11:21,149.25922552 --> 00:11:27,254.25922552 The fact that they've achieved X, Y, Z, the business, the healthy relationship, the marriage. 90 00:11:27,514.25922552 --> 00:11:29,384.25922552 It's proof that I can do the same. 91 00:11:29,697.99041914 --> 00:11:31,277.99041914 I can go after my dreams. 92 00:11:31,527.99041914 --> 00:11:35,207.99041914 I can heal and attract the man that God has for me. 93 00:11:35,697.99041914 --> 00:11:40,916.00998569 I can build X, Y, Z skill that I admire in them. 94 00:11:41,26.00898569 --> 00:11:45,716.00898569 The beauty that you see in others is a reflection of the Lord's work. 95 00:11:46,16.00898569 --> 00:11:50,406.00798569 And the same God that made them is the same God that made you. 96 00:11:50,974.84046013 --> 00:12:00,561.30900246 And so, of course, what you're seeing in them is admirable because it's, they're, they're, they're a masterpiece of the Lord, but you are too. 97 00:12:01,123.8498372 --> 00:12:13,723.8508372 And so the fact that you can see that particular strength in them that you admire, it's an indication that you're familiar with that strength, which means you can build that strength. 98 00:12:13,993.8508372 --> 00:12:16,593.8498372 You can obtain it and you can embody it. 99 00:12:17,8.96690367 --> 00:12:19,538.96690367 It's like, they're a mirror for you. 100 00:12:19,929.54440573 --> 00:12:23,859.54440573 What you admire in them is a reflection of what you admire, period. 101 00:12:24,379.54440573 --> 00:12:30,948.12517813 It tells, it's telling you that it's a quality that you desire to have, and if you can think it, you can make it happen. 102 00:12:31,293.19471528 --> 00:12:34,143.09471528 I Want to share Psalms 37, 1 through 7. 103 00:12:34,633.19471528 --> 00:12:44,223.19471528 Says, fret not yourself because of evildoers, be not envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. 104 00:12:44,623.19471528 --> 00:12:49,883.19471528 Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. 105 00:12:50,258.19471528 --> 00:12:55,178.19471528 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 106 00:12:55,498.19471528 --> 00:12:56,998.19471528 Commit your way to the Lord. 107 00:12:57,188.19471528 --> 00:12:59,518.19471528 Trust in Him and He will act. 108 00:12:59,588.19471528 --> 00:13:04,778.19471528 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noon day. 109 00:13:05,188.19371528 --> 00:13:08,498.19471528 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. 110 00:13:08,818.19471528 --> 00:13:15,968.19471528 Frighten not yourself over the one who prospers in His way, over the man who carries out evil devices. 111 00:13:16,492.20963791 --> 00:13:17,782.20963791 We're gonna dive into that. 112 00:13:17,882.20963791 --> 00:13:20,342.20963791 It's gonna, it's gonna be a beautiful transition to the next point. 113 00:13:20,612.75047377 --> 00:13:39,392.75047377 But I want to wrap this point up with an action, right? So, when you start to compare yourself, instead of downing yourself, criticizing yourself, recognize the quality, the beauty, the strength, the masterpiece that you're admiring in them, and let that be an indication of the quality you want to work on having. 114 00:13:39,804.14797927 --> 00:13:40,844.14797927 It's a game changer. 115 00:13:41,196.77324398 --> 00:13:44,326.77324398 Okay, the second way to overcome insecurity. 116 00:13:44,652.84215777 --> 00:13:52,366.815008 You want to understand That there's an entire story about this person that you don't know. 117 00:13:52,876.815008 --> 00:13:56,46.815008 You don't know what they have going on behind closed doors. 118 00:13:56,106.815008 --> 00:14:00,359.85264614 You don't know what's going on spiritually with them. 119 00:14:00,729.85264614 --> 00:14:04,459.85264614 You don't know what they had to walk through to get to where they are now. 120 00:14:04,820.23177203 --> 00:14:13,777.58307875 want to go back to what I write in Psalms, like, it's easy for us to fall into, like once we compare, we can fall into envy, which is definitely not healthy for us. 121 00:14:13,787.58407875 --> 00:14:15,17.58407875 It's not healthy for our soul. 122 00:14:15,245.45929621 --> 00:14:27,546.07871662 And the Bible tells us, it's very clear, just like in Psalms 37, do not fret because of evildoers, do not envy what they have, how they prosper, because honestly, you don't really know. 123 00:14:27,616.07871662 --> 00:14:35,95.70805722 So, what these people have going on, why they're prosperous, why, like, they have these things, you just never know. 124 00:14:35,345.70805722 --> 00:14:39,375.70805722 So don't fall into the comparison which then leads to envy. 125 00:14:39,614.30887971 --> 00:14:49,255.98806344 And to put it into just even more perspective for you, imagine being alive during the Book of Acts and watching Paul preach boldly. 126 00:14:49,325.98906344 --> 00:14:56,655.98806344 Like this is your first time seeing him, you're seeing him preach boldly, you're seeing him like just walk in obedience. 127 00:14:57,355.98906344 --> 00:14:58,615.98906344 And you can admire Paul. 128 00:14:58,625.98906344 --> 00:15:00,455.98906344 You probably would admire Paul. 129 00:15:00,885.98906344 --> 00:15:03,655.98906344 And then envy his boldness. 130 00:15:04,375.98906344 --> 00:15:09,705.98906344 You know, his confidence, his ability to step out on faith, to do what God has called him to do. 131 00:15:10,56.14867769 --> 00:15:23,86.72018839 See him walking in purpose? But, my question is, are you prepared to walk through what he walked through? The persecution, the stripping away of his old life completely. 132 00:15:23,632.20018589 --> 00:15:30,72.20018589 The, the nomadic life, the not knowing where, um, his next meal's gonna come from. 133 00:15:30,472.20018589 --> 00:15:33,132.20018589 The obedience, the radical obedience. 134 00:15:33,652.20018589 --> 00:15:36,722.20018589 The negative remarks and gossip and shunning. 135 00:15:37,190.08303176 --> 00:15:44,900.08303176 These are the things that we, we need to give ourselves some perspective here, right? We can, we can say it's, oh, it's so easy to want the result. 136 00:15:45,290.08303176 --> 00:15:51,397.79311391 But, to get this result, do you also want to, like, go through what this person went through? We can even look at Ruth. 137 00:15:51,678.98063179 --> 00:15:56,218.98063179 You know, watching her be with this admirable man that I'm sure many women wanted at the time. 138 00:15:56,638.98063179 --> 00:16:01,728.06324125 Okay, I think Boaz was, was um, what's the word? Like, a good suitor. 139 00:16:02,31.22184512 --> 00:16:16,816.22184512 But, are you willing to go through a loss of a husband? Committing the rest of your life to be with your Naomi? Your mom in law? To be her support system, and letting go of any dreams that you have for yourself. 140 00:16:17,186.22184512 --> 00:16:21,246.22184512 To work in the fields, day after day, and eat scraps from the field. 141 00:16:21,561.77817383 --> 00:16:24,631.77817383 Not saying this has to be your story, like your story won't look the same. 142 00:16:24,881.77917383 --> 00:16:29,181.77817383 But, she went through a lot of grief, a lot of self sacrifice. 143 00:16:29,391.77817383 --> 00:16:50,364.7921188 And she chose to walk a daily life of selflessness Selflessness And this is important to have the, the, this conversation with yourself and to have this perspective because it starts helping you view people not as their result, but as who they are their character, and it gets you asking better questions. 144 00:16:50,649.9725291 --> 00:17:25,630.6413591 You go from, why not me, God? Or, what does she have that I don't? Or, why can't you have made me, why couldn't you have made me more confident and bold like her, Lord? You know, why do I have to struggle with shyness, self doubt, fear, insecurity? switch those questions to, what did she have to endure to become this woman? And how can I start welcoming that type of path in my life? How can I start embodying the qualities she has? Because let me tell you, the woman that you're admiring Especially a woman of God that you're admiring. 145 00:17:25,937.6795853 --> 00:17:32,553.3823894 She's probably faced lots of fears and demons in her life to get to where she is right now. 146 00:17:33,112.9292007 --> 00:17:38,662.9292007 And so when you start to compare, remind yourself that you don't know their story. 147 00:17:39,24.6896446 --> 00:17:43,574.6906446 And focus on your growth by doing the thing that you've been putting off. 148 00:17:44,64.6906446 --> 00:17:45,604.6906446 The thing that you're afraid of. 149 00:17:46,189.6906446 --> 00:18:01,39.6906446 Whether that's leaving a friend group, setting a boundary, investing in that course and mentorship, starting that business, sharing your testimony on social media, ending the relationship, the list can go on and on and on, only you know what God has called you to do. 150 00:18:01,229.6896446 --> 00:18:03,794.9376173 Your next step that you have to take in faith. 151 00:18:04,131.1551192 --> 00:18:08,429.9629004 Because taking steps of faith Is what helps you build confidence. 152 00:18:08,629.9629004 --> 00:18:11,9.9629004 So many people get stuck in fear. 153 00:18:11,259.9629004 --> 00:18:12,759.9629004 And they blame it on the fear. 154 00:18:12,769.9629004 --> 00:18:14,769.9629004 Like, oh, I'm just, I'm scared of failure. 155 00:18:14,969.9629004 --> 00:18:16,289.9629004 I'm scared of taking a risk. 156 00:18:16,569.9629004 --> 00:18:18,229.9629004 I'm scared it's not gonna work out. 157 00:18:18,637.0105601 --> 00:18:20,927.0105601 And let me just say, fear is straight up demonic. 158 00:18:21,287.0105601 --> 00:18:27,482.7221759 And you are, when you, when you are staying in that state of fear, you're agreeing with the enemy. 159 00:18:27,822.4018113 --> 00:18:29,422.4018113 You're not leaning on the lord. 160 00:18:29,452.4018113 --> 00:18:32,512.4028113 And, and, and, and this is exactly where the enemy wants you. 161 00:18:33,103.6746513 --> 00:18:44,631.9841499 Because if you don't, if you, because if he can get you to stay in fear, you won't be that confident, bold woman of God that you were created to be, that you're already anointed to be. 162 00:18:44,972.1455202 --> 00:18:53,492.1465202 And then the third way to overcome this insecurity is to get revelation of who you are from your creator. 163 00:18:53,775.3464989 --> 00:18:55,775.3464989 Not from anybody else, from your creator. 164 00:18:56,50.7486269 --> 00:19:01,750.7486269 And so what I mean by this is, this is literally simply asking God to tell you who you are. 165 00:19:02,12.2041649 --> 00:19:05,282.2041649 Fill you in on your strengths, since you can't see them yourself. 166 00:19:05,645.9099786 --> 00:19:09,525.9099786 So you can show more gratitude for your uniqueness, how you were made. 167 00:19:09,735.9099786 --> 00:19:14,55.9109786 Because when you have gratitude for how you were made, you won't want what other people have. 168 00:19:14,708.0761807 --> 00:19:17,978.0761807 This is what the people that you admire most likely have done. 169 00:19:18,168.0761807 --> 00:19:27,569.1170095 They just decided to be themselves instead of trying to fit into the mold of what the world tells you that you need to be successful. 170 00:19:27,579.1180095 --> 00:19:30,69.1170095 Or what the world tells you that you need to be beautiful. 171 00:19:30,244.3564991 --> 00:19:31,984.3564991 They just decided to be themselves. 172 00:19:32,227.7192636 --> 00:19:33,687.7192636 Not a cool girl. 173 00:19:34,129.8981341 --> 00:19:52,665.1949214 So I know you're probably asking okay, well Danielle How can I start to become more of who I'm created to be and how can I start focusing on my strengths? And how can I start walking in my gifting? And it's these small decisions and steps that will help you build this confidence back up. 174 00:19:52,945.1939214 --> 00:19:56,495.1949214 And I just want you to know this is a process, it's not an overnight thing. 175 00:19:56,935.1949214 --> 00:20:01,905.1939214 You gotta take steps to become this confident woman and to ditch insecurity. 176 00:20:02,560.8873955 --> 00:20:04,940.8873955 And so there's three things that I want to tell you here. 177 00:20:05,210.8873955 --> 00:20:12,527.5250775 The first one is, discover your gifts, And when I say gifts, I'm meaning the gifts that are innately in you. 178 00:20:12,717.5250775 --> 00:20:14,437.5240775 Like, what makes you you. 179 00:20:14,911.2149683 --> 00:20:19,911.2149683 For example, I found my gifting was my level of empathy. 180 00:20:20,271.2149683 --> 00:20:22,431.2139683 My ability to meet people where they were. 181 00:20:22,881.2139683 --> 00:20:25,411.2149683 To sit and listen, to understand. 182 00:20:25,788.0243523 --> 00:20:27,828.0243523 Compassion and kindness. 183 00:20:28,428.0243523 --> 00:20:34,123.0243523 And I know A lot of times, like, I've fallen into, oh gosh, like, I'm too nice. 184 00:20:35,323.0243523 --> 00:20:39,443.0243523 My husband tells me that, like, I'm super nice, we're, like, very opposite. 185 00:20:40,973.0243523 --> 00:20:45,363.0233523 Um, and he's like, I'm just scared that people are going to get over on you, because you're so nice. 186 00:20:45,779.4764149 --> 00:20:48,519.4774149 But, it's like, who I am, I can't deny it. 187 00:20:48,956.2478761 --> 00:21:16,552.3756855 So, what are your gifts? These can be spiritual gifts and even qualities I would say They're gifts from God number two Make a decision to practice them and you can practice them in the body of Christ, which I highly recommend Like God tells us that we all have a special Piece to play in the acceleration of the gospel, in God's greater purpose, okay, so this is at church. 188 00:21:16,582.3766855 --> 00:21:17,332.3766855 Get involved. 189 00:21:17,342.3756855 --> 00:21:18,262.3756855 Get on a serve team. 190 00:21:18,747.5889366 --> 00:21:20,477.5899366 and in your workplace. 191 00:21:20,607.5899366 --> 00:21:24,897.5899366 Practice these gifts in your workplace, okay, lean into it. 192 00:21:25,215.3968169 --> 00:21:28,265.3968169 And just watch what flourishes, what happens on the inside of you. 193 00:21:28,275.3968169 --> 00:21:28,760.2968169 And, And. 194 00:21:28,760.4968169 --> 00:21:34,840.3968169 And then third, because of this, your confidence will grow. 195 00:21:35,120.3968169 --> 00:21:36,380.3968169 There's no way it won't grow. 196 00:21:36,602.0857386 --> 00:21:39,12.0857386 Because you're leaning into who you already are. 197 00:21:39,542.0857386 --> 00:21:40,692.0857386 Who you're created to be. 198 00:21:40,902.0857386 --> 00:21:49,595.6559907 And the more you walk in authenticity and you develop your strengths by exercising them, the more confidence you're going to gain. 199 00:21:49,951.4212804 --> 00:21:54,11.4212804 You're going to see what you being you does to the people around you. 200 00:21:54,401.4212804 --> 00:21:55,821.4212804 And I know we all want to make a difference. 201 00:21:55,821.4212804 --> 00:21:56,891.4212804 We all want to help people. 202 00:21:57,236.4212804 --> 00:22:02,273.2316211 And so when you see the results of you walking and you're gifting, your confidence is going to naturally grow. 203 00:22:02,705.6087 --> 00:22:04,735.6087 it's a beautiful cycle that happens. 204 00:22:05,176.2055481 --> 00:22:07,966.2055481 And so going over those again, those three points. 205 00:22:08,336.2045481 --> 00:22:16,336.2055481 First way to overcome insecurity is by changing your perspective from, oh look at what they have that I don't, to oh look at the person they've become. 206 00:22:16,683.0801659 --> 00:22:17,593.0791659 How inspiring. 207 00:22:17,907.8189568 --> 00:22:23,867.8189568 The second way is to understand that there's an entire story behind this person that you don't know. 208 00:22:23,867.8189568 --> 00:22:30,137.8189568 You don't know what they had to walk through to get to where they are today, and you also don't know what goes on behind closed doors. 209 00:22:30,612.7932951 --> 00:22:31,722.7932951 And then number three. 210 00:22:31,979.8697023 --> 00:22:35,179.8697023 Get revelation of who you are from your creator. 211 00:22:35,179.9697023 --> 00:22:42,309.8697023 You cannot go another day, week, month without knowing who he's created you to be. 212 00:22:42,603.7401549 --> 00:22:46,333.7401549 This is how you're going to walk into all that he has for you, and I'm so excited for you. 213 00:22:46,553.1525441 --> 00:23:02,883.1515441 And if you're ready to take this a level deeper, if you know there are real blockages that are keeping you stuck, stuck in fear, unforgiveness, shame, or have this past trauma that it just seems like you can't let it go, then this is your moment. 214 00:23:03,416.2934005 --> 00:23:07,246.2934005 Come hang out with me on my live training on February 25th at 7 p. 215 00:23:07,246.2934005 --> 00:23:07,486.2934005 m. 216 00:23:07,526.2934005 --> 00:23:26,876.2934005 Central Standard Time Where we're going to tackle these strongholds head on I'm gonna guide you through the first steps to true healing Help you root your confidence in Christ and show you how to finally step into your God given purpose So settling is out of your vocabulary You don't have to figure this out alone. 217 00:23:26,876.2934005 --> 00:23:28,536.2934005 I cannot express that enough. 218 00:23:28,818.0832623 --> 00:23:32,868.0842623 I'm going to be right there with you, holding your hand as we take the first steps together. 219 00:23:33,95.5550404 --> 00:23:35,5.5550404 go ahead and get registered at bit. 220 00:23:36,285.5550404 --> 00:23:39,485.5550404 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 221 00:23:39,830.0527363 --> 00:23:42,940.0527363 We only have a hundred spots, so don't hesitate. 222 00:23:43,276.1295733 --> 00:23:44,566.1295733 It's gonna be super fun. 223 00:23:44,676.1295733 --> 00:23:48,356.1295733 Bring your favorite mocktail and we're just gonna have us a fun old time. 224 00:23:48,675.1838452 --> 00:23:49,565.1838452 Hey, beautiful. 225 00:23:49,605.1838452 --> 00:23:53,175.1838452 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 226 00:23:53,475.1838452 --> 00:24:07,605.1838452 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 227 00:24:07,605.1838452 --> 00:24:13,5.1838452 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 228 00:24:13,280.1838452 --> 00:24:18,660.1838452 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 229 00:24:18,730.1838452 --> 00:24:19,150.1838452 Okay. 230 00:24:19,250.1838452 --> 00:24:21,820.1838452 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 231 00:24:21,980.1838452 --> 00:24:27,950.1838452 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
It is so easy to compare ourselves nowadays.
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Literally everywhere we turn, all the hours we spend on social media, we're seeing people who we admire, who we look up to, and honestly, like, who look like they have the life that we want, and sometimes it can inspire us, and then other times it can just make us feel like straight up sucky about ourselves and what's going on in our life.
(00:29):
It makes us feel like we're missing something, whether that's externally or within ourselves.
.0033324And it's like, okay, makes you question, my gosh, like what's wrong with me? You know, why can't I just have a cute button nose like her? Why can't my body look like hers? Or, why can't I have clean skin? Like, why do I have to be the one to deal with acne? Why am I stuck in this life sucking job? Why can't I find something that allows me to have the time and financial freedom that I want? heart, why did I just experience my heart getting ripped out from me when I see all these healthy relationships with the men of God on social media? And all these thoughts, right, and this comparison, it causes us to just spiral. 5 00:01:17,16.0033324 --> 00:01:25,26.0033324 And if we don't break the cycle, it's going to continue happening and get worse and worse and worse. 6 00:01:25,776.0033324 --> 00:01:33,366.0033324 So this is exactly why I'm bringing you three ways to break out of this self doubt and insecurity cycle, sister. 7 00:01:33,826.0033324 --> 00:01:35,886.0033324 This is not what God wants for you. 8 00:01:36,67.484309398 --> 00:01:52,367.4843094 He needs you to be focused on him and your calling that you won't be able to fulfill if you're looking to the right and to the left at what you're lacking, at what you don't have, at why you can't, which is causing you to be stuck and stagnant. 9 00:01:52,878.27168568 --> 00:01:57,78.12466262 So get ready, grab your journal, we're gonna tackle this today. 10 00:01:57,276.78464213 --> 00:01:58,476.78464213 Hey, beautiful. 11 00:01:58,516.78464213 --> 00:02:02,316.78464213 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 12 00:02:02,436.78464213 --> 00:02:25,136.78464213 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 13 00:02:25,186.78364213 --> 00:02:26,726.78364213 Well, sis, you're not alone. 14 00:02:26,796.78464213 --> 00:02:27,926.78464213 I've been there, too. 15 00:02:28,36.78464213 --> 00:02:35,206.78464213 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 16 00:02:35,326.78464213 --> 00:02:40,996.78464213 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 17 00:02:41,36.78464213 --> 00:02:46,466.78464213 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 18 00:02:46,506.78464213 --> 00:02:52,36.78464213 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 19 00:02:52,201.78464213 --> 00:03:07,381.78464213 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 20 00:03:07,521.78364213 --> 00:03:10,491.78464213 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 21 00:03:10,621.78464213 --> 00:03:16,641.78464213 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 22 00:03:16,888.78593351 --> 00:03:24,104.43879699 Sister, can we talk about something real for a second? Comparison truly is killing your confidence. 23 00:03:24,664.43879699 --> 00:03:27,144.43879699 I know you see other women who seem to have it all together. 24 00:03:27,424.43779699 --> 00:03:43,264.43879699 Thriving relationships, unshakable faith, a glow that makes you wonder, what is it that they have that I don't? And before you even realize it, that self doubt creeps in, you start believing the lie that maybe you're just not good enough. 25 00:03:43,744.43879699 --> 00:03:45,444.43879699 That you're behind in life. 26 00:03:45,754.43879699 --> 00:03:51,374.43879699 That love and confidence were meant for everyone else, but not you. 27 00:03:52,254.43779699 --> 00:03:56,494.43879699 And I'm very familiar with this cycle because I have lived it. 28 00:03:57,174.43779699 --> 00:04:11,34.43879699 I spent years stuck in lust and heartbreak, doubting my worth, and trying to convince myself that if I just waited long enough, the pain would pass, it would leave, it would dissipate. 29 00:04:11,299.39060183 --> 00:04:12,519.39060183 But it didn't. 30 00:04:12,964.5926776 --> 00:04:18,804.5916776 it kept me trapped until I finally did the work to heal at a soul level. 31 00:04:19,244.5926776 --> 00:04:22,374.5926776 And that's exactly what I want to help you do. 32 00:04:22,944.30339716 --> 00:04:36,454.30339716 I'm hosting a live masterclass literally tomorrow, Tuesday, February 25th, called, How I Healed at a Soul Level and Finally Stopped Settling in My Life and in My Relationships. 33 00:04:36,771.36236394 --> 00:04:46,611.36236394 So if you've been struggling with insecurity, toxic cycles, or feeling unworthy of the love and life you desire, this is for you. 34 00:04:47,351.36236394 --> 00:05:07,775.7707654 In the masterclass, I'm going to walk you through the exact steps that I took the last four years to finally break free from toxic cycles that were keeping me stuck, how to rebuild my confidence in Christ and actually believe in my worth, and attract God centered love from a place of wholeness, not loneliness. 35 00:05:08,410.73612112 --> 00:05:15,710.73612112 If you're tired of letting comparison, insecurity, and your past hold you back, this is your moment. 36 00:05:16,30.73612112 --> 00:05:18,380.73512112 Don't wait for time to heal you. 37 00:05:18,730.73612112 --> 00:05:22,360.73612112 Do the work and let God restore you from the inside out. 38 00:05:22,545.35634781 --> 00:05:24,215.35534781 Go ahead and head to bit. 39 00:05:25,445.35634781 --> 00:05:29,55.35634781 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 40 00:05:29,315.35634781 --> 00:05:29,745.35634781 That's bit. 41 00:05:29,745.45634781 --> 00:05:34,605.35634781 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 42 00:05:34,832.30932504 --> 00:05:36,982.30932504 to register before all spots are taken. 43 00:05:37,362.30932504 --> 00:05:42,812.30932504 It's time to step into the confidence and love that you were always meant for. 44 00:05:43,112.66007175 --> 00:05:44,152.66107175 Let's do this together. 45 00:05:44,605.38774206 --> 00:05:51,705.38774206 Okay, but seriously, I have spent so much of my life comparing myself to other women. 46 00:05:52,165.38774206 --> 00:05:56,115.38774206 And this was something that really, really brought me down in my youth years. 47 00:05:56,145.38674206 --> 00:05:57,265.38774206 And I think we can all relate. 48 00:05:57,285.38774206 --> 00:06:03,895.38774206 Like those years, it's like everything matters and everything is just super, super important. 49 00:06:04,565.38774206 --> 00:06:06,435.38774206 And everything feels like a crisis. 50 00:06:06,725.38774206 --> 00:06:20,615.38674206 And I remember that, you know, while I was in middle school, high school, and some of college, like, there was this comparison that made me shrink myself back and feel like I wasn't good enough to be anyone's, like, best friend. 51 00:06:20,905.38774206 --> 00:06:25,845.38774206 Like, I always doubted the way peop like, I always doubted if people liked me or not. 52 00:06:26,451.38312361 --> 00:06:37,241.38212361 And I would look at, you know, the popular girls in high school a lot and I thought that they were so much prettier, funnier, cooler, more likable than me. 53 00:06:37,571.3831236 --> 00:06:45,441.3831236 And it made me minimize my personality and like try to be cool, which wasn't like, you know, versus like being authentic. 54 00:06:46,1.38312361 --> 00:07:18,153.02421339 And I felt so insecure within myself to the point where I literally felt like an outcast for wearing pads versus tampons, which is It's literally a high school thing like I know we're like way past that and that's like not my story now But I remember like these are the things that just would play in my mind over and over and it wasn't until I started viewing myself as valuable, you know, despite any validation that I would get or that I wouldn't get from other people. 55 00:07:18,583.02421339 --> 00:07:33,583.02421339 Um, I identified myself as, oh wow, like okay, I am funny, I am likable, and I am kind and caring, and I say these qualities because these are the qualities that I actually really admired in other people. 56 00:07:33,963.02421339 --> 00:07:35,943.02421339 And I didn't think that I, I had them. 57 00:07:36,643.02421339 --> 00:07:40,903.02421339 And so I started to lean more into these parts of myself. 58 00:07:41,163.02421339 --> 00:07:46,333.02321339 And it helped me break out of this hold that insecurity had on me. 59 00:07:46,726.29310108 --> 00:07:59,306.29310108 And so I want to start by sharing why comparison is this main sabotager of your confidence and then give you three ways to remove it from your life. 60 00:07:59,741.47981705 --> 00:08:04,319.66259892 So, let's dive into why comparison sabotages your confidence. 61 00:08:04,639.66259892 --> 00:08:13,489.66159892 You know, if we look at the root of why you compare yourself, you know, when you look at other women, it is a lack of security. 62 00:08:14,579.66259892 --> 00:08:27,429.66259892 And I, I also, I think it's safe to say that it's a lack of gratefulness with how God made you, like your perspective is off when you fall into this negative comparison cycle. 63 00:08:27,801.27400368 --> 00:08:45,191.27400368 you lack this confidence with, with who you are and you have this unawareness of your strengths, which is causing you to focus on your weaknesses, like your weaknesses seem so big and so loud because you have this inability to see your strengths. 64 00:08:45,521.55726548 --> 00:08:55,651.63789708 And also, this voice that's telling you you lack XYZ and this is why you aren't the woman that you want to be. 65 00:08:55,791.25943586 --> 00:09:00,131.25843586 Like this ideal version of yourself has to have these qualities that you lack. 66 00:09:00,371.25943586 --> 00:09:02,641.25943586 And this is just not the truth. 67 00:09:03,66.13703587 --> 00:09:10,316.13703587 And I just want to normalize comparison because I think all of us women face it no matter what stage of life you are. 68 00:09:10,923.96004344 --> 00:09:21,281.31870212 and it's very easy to fall into because we see people every single day that look like that they have it all figured out, that they look like they have the relationship we want. 69 00:09:21,281.31870212 --> 00:09:34,231.31870212 We see their best days, the best of their relationship, the mountaintops, the celebrations, the wins, and not really the lows that they experience on a day to day or what they had to go through to get to the mountaintop. 70 00:09:34,231.31870212 --> 00:09:37,491.31870212 And this is so major and this is going to be one of our points later. 71 00:09:37,770.63092469 --> 00:09:42,920.63092469 But you, you, you never know somebody's story about how they got to where they are. 72 00:09:43,135.61221643 --> 00:10:06,781.45810995 And I think we can all identify when we do fall into comparison, but if maybe you're like at a point where it's like, Okay, well how can I know and alert myself that I'm falling into it? This is when you are downing yourself, you're downing your abilities, and when you are seeing somebody else's wins and attributes that you admire, and it makes you feel less than. 73 00:10:07,121.45810995 --> 00:10:09,41.45810995 It makes you feel bad about yourself. 74 00:10:09,281.45810995 --> 00:10:11,51.45710995 It makes you feel like you don't measure up. 75 00:10:11,61.45710995 --> 00:10:14,631.45810995 There's something off or wrong or broken in you. 76 00:10:14,932.18772369 --> 00:10:19,444.74807777 And, you guys all know, Famous quote, comparison is a thief of joy. 77 00:10:19,794.74807777 --> 00:10:22,524.74807777 So, of course, when you do this, it's gonna steal your joy. 78 00:10:22,854.74807777 --> 00:10:26,834.74807777 And it's going to mentally steal your value. 79 00:10:26,834.74807777 --> 00:10:31,334.74807777 And I say mentally stealing your value, because it's not actually stealing your value. 80 00:10:31,344.74707777 --> 00:10:32,794.74807777 Nothing can steal your value. 81 00:10:32,804.74807777 --> 00:10:40,94.74807777 No sin, no backsliding, no failure, no mistake can take away your value. 82 00:10:40,334.1110462 --> 00:10:43,64.1110462 Like, your value's already been defined. 83 00:10:43,404.1110462 --> 00:10:45,884.1110462 It's just the way that you see your value. 84 00:10:45,884.1110462 --> 00:10:48,314.1110462 Again, it's your perspective that's off. 85 00:10:48,923.92103376 --> 00:10:58,223.92103376 the perspective of yourself is making you believe less of yourself and that negative self talk starts to play again and again in your mind. 86 00:10:58,563.92103376 --> 00:11:05,123.92103376 Which then causes you to fall into these cycles and it gets worse over time if you don't confront it. 87 00:11:05,358.68072346 --> 00:11:18,948.68172346 And so moving into this first way to overcome this insecurity, you want to change your perspective from, oh, look what they have that I don't, to, oh, look at the person they've become. 88 00:11:19,308.68172346 --> 00:11:20,788.68172346 How frickin inspiring. 89 00:11:21,149.25922552 --> 00:11:27,254.25922552 The fact that they've achieved X, Y, Z, the business, the healthy relationship, the marriage. 90 00:11:27,514.25922552 --> 00:11:29,384.25922552 It's proof that I can do the same. 91 00:11:29,697.99041914 --> 00:11:31,277.99041914 I can go after my dreams. 92 00:11:31,527.99041914 --> 00:11:35,207.99041914 I can heal and attract the man that God has for me. 93 00:11:35,697.99041914 --> 00:11:40,916.00998569 I can build X, Y, Z skill that I admire in them. 94 00:11:41,26.00898569 --> 00:11:45,716.00898569 The beauty that you see in others is a reflection of the Lord's work. 95 00:11:46,16.00898569 --> 00:11:50,406.00798569 And the same God that made them is the same God that made you. 96 00:11:50,974.84046013 --> 00:12:00,561.30900246 And so, of course, what you're seeing in them is admirable because it's, they're, they're, they're a masterpiece of the Lord, but you are too. 97 00:12:01,123.8498372 --> 00:12:13,723.8508372 And so the fact that you can see that particular strength in them that you admire, it's an indication that you're familiar with that strength, which means you can build that strength. 98 00:12:13,993.8508372 --> 00:12:16,593.8498372 You can obtain it and you can embody it. 99 00:12:17,8.96690367 --> 00:12:19,538.96690367 It's like, they're a mirror for you. 100 00:12:19,929.54440573 --> 00:12:23,859.54440573 What you admire in them is a reflection of what you admire, period. 101 00:12:24,379.54440573 --> 00:12:30,948.12517813 It tells, it's telling you that it's a quality that you desire to have, and if you can think it, you can make it happen. 102 00:12:31,293.19471528 --> 00:12:34,143.09471528 I Want to share Psalms 37, 1 through 7. 103 00:12:34,633.19471528 --> 00:12:44,223.19471528 Says, fret not yourself because of evildoers, be not envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. 104 00:12:44,623.19471528 --> 00:12:49,883.19471528 Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. 105 00:12:50,258.19471528 --> 00:12:55,178.19471528 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 106 00:12:55,498.19471528 --> 00:12:56,998.19471528 Commit your way to the Lord. 107 00:12:57,188.19471528 --> 00:12:59,518.19471528 Trust in Him and He will act. 108 00:12:59,588.19471528 --> 00:13:04,778.19471528 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noon day. 109 00:13:05,188.19371528 --> 00:13:08,498.19471528 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. 110 00:13:08,818.19471528 --> 00:13:15,968.19471528 Frighten not yourself over the one who prospers in His way, over the man who carries out evil devices. 111 00:13:16,492.20963791 --> 00:13:17,782.20963791 We're gonna dive into that. 112 00:13:17,882.20963791 --> 00:13:20,342.20963791 It's gonna, it's gonna be a beautiful transition to the next point. 113 00:13:20,612.75047377 --> 00:13:39,392.75047377 But I want to wrap this point up with an action, right? So, when you start to compare yourself, instead of downing yourself, criticizing yourself, recognize the quality, the beauty, the strength, the masterpiece that you're admiring in them, and let that be an indication of the quality you want to work on having. 114 00:13:39,804.14797927 --> 00:13:40,844.14797927 It's a game changer. 115 00:13:41,196.77324398 --> 00:13:44,326.77324398 Okay, the second way to overcome insecurity. 116 00:13:44,652.84215777 --> 00:13:52,366.815008 You want to understand That there's an entire story about this person that you don't know. 117 00:13:52,876.815008 --> 00:13:56,46.815008 You don't know what they have going on behind closed doors. 118 00:13:56,106.815008 --> 00:14:00,359.85264614 You don't know what's going on spiritually with them. 119 00:14:00,729.85264614 --> 00:14:04,459.85264614 You don't know what they had to walk through to get to where they are now. 120 00:14:04,820.23177203 --> 00:14:13,777.58307875 want to go back to what I write in Psalms, like, it's easy for us to fall into, like once we compare, we can fall into envy, which is definitely not healthy for us. 121 00:14:13,787.58407875 --> 00:14:15,17.58407875 It's not healthy for our soul. 122 00:14:15,245.45929621 --> 00:14:27,546.07871662 And the Bible tells us, it's very clear, just like in Psalms 37, do not fret because of evildoers, do not envy what they have, how they prosper, because honestly, you don't really know. 123 00:14:27,616.07871662 --> 00:14:35,95.70805722 So, what these people have going on, why they're prosperous, why, like, they have these things, you just never know. 124 00:14:35,345.70805722 --> 00:14:39,375.70805722 So don't fall into the comparison which then leads to envy. 125 00:14:39,614.30887971 --> 00:14:49,255.98806344 And to put it into just even more perspective for you, imagine being alive during the Book of Acts and watching Paul preach boldly. 126 00:14:49,325.98906344 --> 00:14:56,655.98806344 Like this is your first time seeing him, you're seeing him preach boldly, you're seeing him like just walk in obedience. 127 00:14:57,355.98906344 --> 00:14:58,615.98906344 And you can admire Paul. 128 00:14:58,625.98906344 --> 00:15:00,455.98906344 You probably would admire Paul. 129 00:15:00,885.98906344 --> 00:15:03,655.98906344 And then envy his boldness. 130 00:15:04,375.98906344 --> 00:15:09,705.98906344 You know, his confidence, his ability to step out on faith, to do what God has called him to do. 131 00:15:10,56.14867769 --> 00:15:23,86.72018839 See him walking in purpose? But, my question is, are you prepared to walk through what he walked through? The persecution, the stripping away of his old life completely. 132 00:15:23,632.20018589 --> 00:15:30,72.20018589 The, the nomadic life, the not knowing where, um, his next meal's gonna come from. 133 00:15:30,472.20018589 --> 00:15:33,132.20018589 The obedience, the radical obedience. 134 00:15:33,652.20018589 --> 00:15:36,722.20018589 The negative remarks and gossip and shunning. 135 00:15:37,190.08303176 --> 00:15:44,900.08303176 These are the things that we, we need to give ourselves some perspective here, right? We can, we can say it's, oh, it's so easy to want the result. 136 00:15:45,290.08303176 --> 00:15:51,397.79311391 But, to get this result, do you also want to, like, go through what this person went through? We can even look at Ruth. 137 00:15:51,678.98063179 --> 00:15:56,218.98063179 You know, watching her be with this admirable man that I'm sure many women wanted at the time. 138 00:15:56,638.98063179 --> 00:16:01,728.06324125 Okay, I think Boaz was, was um, what's the word? Like, a good suitor. 139 00:16:02,31.22184512 --> 00:16:16,816.22184512 But, are you willing to go through a loss of a husband? Committing the rest of your life to be with your Naomi? Your mom in law? To be her support system, and letting go of any dreams that you have for yourself. 140 00:16:17,186.22184512 --> 00:16:21,246.22184512 To work in the fields, day after day, and eat scraps from the field. 141 00:16:21,561.77817383 --> 00:16:24,631.77817383 Not saying this has to be your story, like your story won't look the same. 142 00:16:24,881.77917383 --> 00:16:29,181.77817383 But, she went through a lot of grief, a lot of self sacrifice. 143 00:16:29,391.77817383 --> 00:16:50,364.7921188 And she chose to walk a daily life of selflessness Selflessness And this is important to have the, the, this conversation with yourself and to have this perspective because it starts helping you view people not as their result, but as who they are their character, and it gets you asking better questions. 144 00:16:50,649.9725291 --> 00:17:25,630.6413591 You go from, why not me, God? Or, what does she have that I don't? Or, why can't you have made me, why couldn't you have made me more confident and bold like her, Lord? You know, why do I have to struggle with shyness, self doubt, fear, insecurity? switch those questions to, what did she have to endure to become this woman? And how can I start welcoming that type of path in my life? How can I start embodying the qualities she has? Because let me tell you, the woman that you're admiring Especially a woman of God that you're admiring. 145 00:17:25,937.6795853 --> 00:17:32,553.3823894 She's probably faced lots of fears and demons in her life to get to where she is right now. 146 00:17:33,112.9292007 --> 00:17:38,662.9292007 And so when you start to compare, remind yourself that you don't know their story. 147 00:17:39,24.6896446 --> 00:17:43,574.6906446 And focus on your growth by doing the thing that you've been putting off. 148 00:17:44,64.6906446 --> 00:17:45,604.6906446 The thing that you're afraid of. 149 00:17:46,189.6906446 --> 00:18:01,39.6906446 Whether that's leaving a friend group, setting a boundary, investing in that course and mentorship, starting that business, sharing your testimony on social media, ending the relationship, the list can go on and on and on, only you know what God has called you to do. 150 00:18:01,229.6896446 --> 00:18:03,794.9376173 Your next step that you have to take in faith. 151 00:18:04,131.1551192 --> 00:18:08,429.9629004 Because taking steps of faith Is what helps you build confidence. 152 00:18:08,629.9629004 --> 00:18:11,9.9629004 So many people get stuck in fear. 153 00:18:11,259.9629004 --> 00:18:12,759.9629004 And they blame it on the fear. 154 00:18:12,769.9629004 --> 00:18:14,769.9629004 Like, oh, I'm just, I'm scared of failure. 155 00:18:14,969.9629004 --> 00:18:16,289.9629004 I'm scared of taking a risk. 156 00:18:16,569.9629004 --> 00:18:18,229.9629004 I'm scared it's not gonna work out. 157 00:18:18,637.0105601 --> 00:18:20,927.0105601 And let me just say, fear is straight up demonic. 158 00:18:21,287.0105601 --> 00:18:27,482.7221759 And you are, when you, when you are staying in that state of fear, you're agreeing with the enemy. 159 00:18:27,822.4018113 --> 00:18:29,422.4018113 You're not leaning on the lord. 160 00:18:29,452.4018113 --> 00:18:32,512.4028113 And, and, and, and this is exactly where the enemy wants you. 161 00:18:33,103.6746513 --> 00:18:44,631.9841499 Because if you don't, if you, because if he can get you to stay in fear, you won't be that confident, bold woman of God that you were created to be, that you're already anointed to be. 162 00:18:44,972.1455202 --> 00:18:53,492.1465202 And then the third way to overcome this insecurity is to get revelation of who you are from your creator. 163 00:18:53,775.3464989 --> 00:18:55,775.3464989 Not from anybody else, from your creator. 164 00:18:56,50.7486269 --> 00:19:01,750.7486269 And so what I mean by this is, this is literally simply asking God to tell you who you are. 165 00:19:02,12.2041649 --> 00:19:05,282.2041649 Fill you in on your strengths, since you can't see them yourself. 166 00:19:05,645.9099786 --> 00:19:09,525.9099786 So you can show more gratitude for your uniqueness, how you were made. 167 00:19:09,735.9099786 --> 00:19:14,55.9109786 Because when you have gratitude for how you were made, you won't want what other people have. 168 00:19:14,708.0761807 --> 00:19:17,978.0761807 This is what the people that you admire most likely have done. 169 00:19:18,168.0761807 --> 00:19:27,569.1170095 They just decided to be themselves instead of trying to fit into the mold of what the world tells you that you need to be successful. 170 00:19:27,579.1180095 --> 00:19:30,69.1170095 Or what the world tells you that you need to be beautiful. 171 00:19:30,244.3564991 --> 00:19:31,984.3564991 They just decided to be themselves. 172 00:19:32,227.7192636 --> 00:19:33,687.7192636 Not a cool girl. 173 00:19:34,129.8981341 --> 00:19:52,665.1949214 So I know you're probably asking okay, well Danielle How can I start to become more of who I'm created to be and how can I start focusing on my strengths? And how can I start walking in my gifting? And it's these small decisions and steps that will help you build this confidence back up. 174 00:19:52,945.1939214 --> 00:19:56,495.1949214 And I just want you to know this is a process, it's not an overnight thing. 175 00:19:56,935.1949214 --> 00:20:01,905.1939214 You gotta take steps to become this confident woman and to ditch insecurity. 176 00:20:02,560.8873955 --> 00:20:04,940.8873955 And so there's three things that I want to tell you here. 177 00:20:05,210.8873955 --> 00:20:12,527.5250775 The first one is, discover your gifts, And when I say gifts, I'm meaning the gifts that are innately in you. 178 00:20:12,717.5250775 --> 00:20:14,437.5240775 Like, what makes you you. 179 00:20:14,911.2149683 --> 00:20:19,911.2149683 For example, I found my gifting was my level of empathy. 180 00:20:20,271.2149683 --> 00:20:22,431.2139683 My ability to meet people where they were. 181 00:20:22,881.2139683 --> 00:20:25,411.2149683 To sit and listen, to understand. 182 00:20:25,788.0243523 --> 00:20:27,828.0243523 Compassion and kindness. 183 00:20:28,428.0243523 --> 00:20:34,123.0243523 And I know A lot of times, like, I've fallen into, oh gosh, like, I'm too nice. 184 00:20:35,323.0243523 --> 00:20:39,443.0243523 My husband tells me that, like, I'm super nice, we're, like, very opposite. 185 00:20:40,973.0243523 --> 00:20:45,363.0233523 Um, and he's like, I'm just scared that people are going to get over on you, because you're so nice. 186 00:20:45,779.4764149 --> 00:20:48,519.4774149 But, it's like, who I am, I can't deny it. 187 00:20:48,956.2478761 --> 00:21:16,552.3756855 So, what are your gifts? These can be spiritual gifts and even qualities I would say They're gifts from God number two Make a decision to practice them and you can practice them in the body of Christ, which I highly recommend Like God tells us that we all have a special Piece to play in the acceleration of the gospel, in God's greater purpose, okay, so this is at church. 188 00:21:16,582.3766855 --> 00:21:17,332.3766855 Get involved. 189 00:21:17,342.3756855 --> 00:21:18,262.3756855 Get on a serve team. 190 00:21:18,747.5889366 --> 00:21:20,477.5899366 and in your workplace. 191 00:21:20,607.5899366 --> 00:21:24,897.5899366 Practice these gifts in your workplace, okay, lean into it. 192 00:21:25,215.3968169 --> 00:21:28,265.3968169 And just watch what flourishes, what happens on the inside of you. 193 00:21:28,275.3968169 --> 00:21:28,760.2968169 And, And. 194 00:21:28,760.4968169 --> 00:21:34,840.3968169 And then third, because of this, your confidence will grow. 195 00:21:35,120.3968169 --> 00:21:36,380.3968169 There's no way it won't grow. 196 00:21:36,602.0857386 --> 00:21:39,12.0857386 Because you're leaning into who you already are. 197 00:21:39,542.0857386 --> 00:21:40,692.0857386 Who you're created to be. 198 00:21:40,902.0857386 --> 00:21:49,595.6559907 And the more you walk in authenticity and you develop your strengths by exercising them, the more confidence you're going to gain. 199 00:21:49,951.4212804 --> 00:21:54,11.4212804 You're going to see what you being you does to the people around you. 200 00:21:54,401.4212804 --> 00:21:55,821.4212804 And I know we all want to make a difference. 201 00:21:55,821.4212804 --> 00:21:56,891.4212804 We all want to help people. 202 00:21:57,236.4212804 --> 00:22:02,273.2316211 And so when you see the results of you walking and you're gifting, your confidence is going to naturally grow. 203 00:22:02,705.6087 --> 00:22:04,735.6087 it's a beautiful cycle that happens. 204 00:22:05,176.2055481 --> 00:22:07,966.2055481 And so going over those again, those three points. 205 00:22:08,336.2045481 --> 00:22:16,336.2055481 First way to overcome insecurity is by changing your perspective from, oh look at what they have that I don't, to oh look at the person they've become. 206 00:22:16,683.0801659 --> 00:22:17,593.0791659 How inspiring. 207 00:22:17,907.8189568 --> 00:22:23,867.8189568 The second way is to understand that there's an entire story behind this person that you don't know. 208 00:22:23,867.8189568 --> 00:22:30,137.8189568 You don't know what they had to walk through to get to where they are today, and you also don't know what goes on behind closed doors. 209 00:22:30,612.7932951 --> 00:22:31,722.7932951 And then number three. 210 00:22:31,979.8697023 --> 00:22:35,179.8697023 Get revelation of who you are from your creator. 211 00:22:35,179.9697023 --> 00:22:42,309.8697023 You cannot go another day, week, month without knowing who he's created you to be. 212 00:22:42,603.7401549 --> 00:22:46,333.7401549 This is how you're going to walk into all that he has for you, and I'm so excited for you. 213 00:22:46,553.1525441 --> 00:23:02,883.1515441 And if you're ready to take this a level deeper, if you know there are real blockages that are keeping you stuck, stuck in fear, unforgiveness, shame, or have this past trauma that it just seems like you can't let it go, then this is your moment. 214 00:23:03,416.2934005 --> 00:23:07,246.2934005 Come hang out with me on my live training on February 25th at 7 p. 215 00:23:07,246.2934005 --> 00:23:07,486.2934005 m. 216 00:23:07,526.2934005 --> 00:23:26,876.2934005 Central Standard Time Where we're going to tackle these strongholds head on I'm gonna guide you through the first steps to true healing Help you root your confidence in Christ and show you how to finally step into your God given purpose So settling is out of your vocabulary You don't have to figure this out alone. 217 00:23:26,876.2934005 --> 00:23:28,536.2934005 I cannot express that enough. 218 00:23:28,818.0832623 --> 00:23:32,868.0842623 I'm going to be right there with you, holding your hand as we take the first steps together. 219 00:23:33,95.5550404 --> 00:23:35,5.5550404 go ahead and get registered at bit. 220 00:23:36,285.5550404 --> 00:23:39,485.5550404 ly forward slash heart healing masterclass. 221 00:23:39,830.0527363 --> 00:23:42,940.0527363 We only have a hundred spots, so don't hesitate. 222 00:23:43,276.1295733 --> 00:23:44,566.1295733 It's gonna be super fun. 223 00:23:44,676.1295733 --> 00:23:48,356.1295733 Bring your favorite mocktail and we're just gonna have us a fun old time. 224 00:23:48,675.1838452 --> 00:23:49,565.1838452 Hey, beautiful. 225 00:23:49,605.1838452 --> 00:23:53,175.1838452 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 226 00:23:53,475.1838452 --> 00:24:07,605.1838452 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 227 00:24:07,605.1838452 --> 00:24:13,5.1838452 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 228 00:24:13,280.1838452 --> 00:24:18,660.1838452 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 229 00:24:18,730.1838452 --> 00:24:19,150.1838452 Okay. 230 00:24:19,250.1838452 --> 00:24:21,820.1838452 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 231 00:24:21,980.1838452 --> 00:24:27,950.1838452 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
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