March 3, 2025 • 29 mins
Hi beautiful! ♥️
Have you ever felt like no matter how much you try to move forward, something keeps pulling you back? Like there’s this invisible force keeping you stuck in cycles of fear, shame, or rejection—making it nearly impossible to fully receive God’s love and live in His freedom?
Sis, that’s not by accident. The Bible says the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. And do you know where he sets his traps the most? In your unhealed trauma. He studies your fears, your wounds, your habits—waiting for the perfect moment to whisper lies into your mind and keep you bound.
In today’s episode, we’re breaking down 4 reasons why unhealed trauma is the devil’s playground and how to finally step into the freedom God has for you. We’re exposing the enemy’s tactics and equipping you with the truth to reclaim your healing, your confidence, and your purpose.
So grab your journal, and let’s dive in—because today is the day you start walking in victory!
See you on the inside!
Xo,
Dani
JOIN THE COMMUNITY: https://whop.com/thehealingcircle/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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hello, beautiful.
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.379261364Listen, you know that the Bible tells us that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 3 00:00:13,192.378261364 --> 00:00:14,132.378261364 It's very clear. 4 00:00:14,372.379261364 --> 00:00:17,12.379261364 What this means is, it means that he studies you. 5 00:00:17,262.379261364 --> 00:00:19,92.279261364 That he knows your fears. 6 00:00:19,332.379261364 --> 00:00:25,52.379261364 He knows your patterns, your habits, and what gets you caught in his trap. 7 00:00:25,62.379261364 --> 00:00:28,532.379261364 This, imagine a lion studying his prey. 8 00:00:28,542.379261364 --> 00:00:31,162.378261364 This is how the devil is watching you. 9 00:00:31,592.436079545 --> 00:00:43,542.436079545 He's cunning, and he's waiting for the perfect time to shoot thoughts, ideas, and suggestions in your mind to make you fall backwards in your faith, your life, your relationships, and your healing. 10 00:00:44,72.436079545 --> 00:00:55,182.436079545 And so if you find yourself stuck in having this inability to receive all that God has for you, his love, his blessings, and the life of freedom, Freedom that he has for you. 11 00:00:55,422.436079545 --> 00:00:57,582.436079545 Then this is the episode for you. 12 00:00:57,772.436079545 --> 00:01:12,192.436079545 I'm going to be sharing with you the four reasons why unhealed trauma is the devil's playground, so you can understand what the open doors are, so you know how you can take your first steps towards becoming free from them in Jesus name. 13 00:01:12,504.214277089 --> 00:01:14,904.215277089 Get ready, grab your journal, let's dive in. 14 00:01:14,914.215277089 --> 00:01:16,114.215277089 Hey, beautiful. 15 00:01:16,154.215277089 --> 00:01:19,954.215277089 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 16 00:01:20,74.215277089 --> 00:01:42,774.21527709 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 17 00:01:42,824.21427709 --> 00:01:44,364.21427709 Well, sis, you're not alone. 18 00:01:44,434.21527709 --> 00:01:45,564.21527709 I've been there, too. 19 00:01:45,674.21527709 --> 00:01:52,844.21527709 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 20 00:01:52,964.21527709 --> 00:01:58,634.21527709 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 21 00:01:58,674.21527709 --> 00:02:04,104.21527709 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 22 00:02:04,144.21527709 --> 00:02:09,674.21527709 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 23 00:02:09,839.21527709 --> 00:02:25,19.21527709 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 24 00:02:25,159.21427709 --> 00:02:28,129.21527709 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 25 00:02:28,259.21527709 --> 00:02:34,279.21527709 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 26 00:02:34,734.01458385 --> 00:02:46,84.01458385 Hey sister! Have you joined the healing circle yet? If you're ready to heal from your past, grow in your faith, and finally walk in that God given confidence, this is your spot. 27 00:02:46,624.01458385 --> 00:02:51,584.01458385 We're a community of women doing the heart work together and I'd love for you to come hang out with us. 28 00:02:52,249.19324815 --> 00:03:04,702.52224366 You're going to have weekly encouragement to keep you going when time gets tough, challenges to help you break those toxic patterns, and live journaling sessions so you can process and reflect in a safe space. 29 00:03:05,142.52324366 --> 00:03:08,332.52324366 And the best part about this is, is that it's totally free. 30 00:03:08,712.52224366 --> 00:03:12,492.52324366 And trust me, you do not want to miss out on some sisterhood. 31 00:03:12,919.55927385 --> 00:03:14,529.55927385 You can join at WOP. 32 00:03:14,869.55927385 --> 00:03:17,129.55927385 com forward slash the Healing Circle. 33 00:03:17,385.99194927 --> 00:03:21,665.99194927 That's w h o p dot com slash the healing circle. 34 00:03:21,785.39908908 --> 00:03:23,265.39908908 And once you're in it, don't be shy. 35 00:03:23,305.39908908 --> 00:03:26,725.39908908 Introduce yourself and share any burning question that you have. 36 00:03:26,785.39908908 --> 00:03:29,425.39908908 And I'll give you some laser coaching right there on the spot. 37 00:03:29,895.39908908 --> 00:03:30,615.39908908 I'll see you in there. 38 00:03:31,75.4050347 --> 00:03:37,135.4050347 I remember when I was plagued with rejection and abandonment wounds. 39 00:03:37,555.4050347 --> 00:03:42,585.4040347 It made me have this hardened heart towards men especially. 40 00:03:42,975.4040347 --> 00:03:46,605.4040347 And carry this belief that I had to earn love. 41 00:03:46,625.4040347 --> 00:03:53,825.4050347 And let me just tell you, this was, I just recently over the last year discovered that this was a deep belief that I've been carrying. 42 00:03:54,445.4050347 --> 00:04:03,135.31537556 You know, I felt like I had to, complete good works to be worthy of love, and this hindered my relationship with God. 43 00:04:03,175.31637556 --> 00:04:22,785.21637556 And this, if I backtracked it to my childhood, like, I was expected to be perfect in school, um, to be the, I was not only the oldest sister, but I was the oldest cousin all of my younger cousins, and I was always expected to be the one that they looked up to, to be perfect. 44 00:04:23,332.57703685 --> 00:04:30,172.57703685 and without me knowing then, my worth was being defined by what I could do for others. 45 00:04:30,182.57603685 --> 00:04:32,502.57603685 By earning this love. 46 00:04:32,801.19691408 --> 00:04:41,611.19691408 and so this belief hindered my relationship with God because I felt like I had this inability to freely receive God's love. 47 00:04:41,921.19591408 --> 00:04:48,281.19691408 And then whenever I did mess up, it made me feel even more shameful and like the Lord was rejecting me. 48 00:04:48,321.19691408 --> 00:04:51,331.19691408 Like he was disappointed in me, like he didn't want me to come to him. 49 00:04:51,781.19691408 --> 00:05:03,36.19691408 And it wasn't until I went to this freedom conference that I had I had never had open doors and trauma wounds broken down to me from a biblical perspective. 50 00:05:03,456.19691408 --> 00:05:10,896.19691408 It exposed the devil at work in my life and helped me to be able to choose to live in freedom every single day. 51 00:05:11,96.19591408 --> 00:05:20,66.19691408 And I want to share with you the same principles and things that I took away from that for you to be able to do the same exact thing in your life. 52 00:05:20,878.53798086 --> 00:05:26,468.53798086 so first I want to share why unhealed wounds distances you from God. 53 00:05:26,828.53698086 --> 00:05:37,858.53798086 And your unhealed wounds might not be the same that, that I've experienced, right? And you may not be carrying the same exact beliefs that, that I have to earn love, or that you have to earn love. 54 00:05:38,148.53798086 --> 00:05:42,258.63326789 But these unhealed wounds do have a root. 55 00:05:42,524.54631136 --> 00:05:45,414.54631136 So let's first obviously talk about where the wounds come from. 56 00:05:45,784.54631136 --> 00:05:58,94.54631136 Comes from physical abuse, verbal, sexual, emotional, spiritual abuse, and abandonment by broken trust, unkept promises, and betrayal. 57 00:05:58,601.00132016 --> 00:06:15,22.06306656 And these experiences hinder your relationship with God, it keeps you kind of at an arm's length from him, because these things distort your, your trust, your trust in people, love, your capacity to love, and distort your self worth. 58 00:06:15,802.06306656 --> 00:06:22,202.06306656 So, When you experience abuse, it directly affects the way that you view yourself. 59 00:06:22,522.85862131 --> 00:06:25,432.85962131 The value that you see within yourself. 60 00:06:26,245.70716169 --> 00:06:30,775.70716169 experience some form of abuse, you don't view yourself as someone with value. 61 00:06:30,995.70716169 --> 00:06:38,545.70616169 So you think things like, God doesn't love me as much as he loves my pastor, or as much as he loves my friend. 62 00:06:38,555.70616169 --> 00:06:43,135.60716169 That's in ministry, or she's like really solid in her relationship with God. 63 00:06:43,609.22652493 --> 00:06:46,879.22652493 Or thoughts like, I'm not worthy to go to God. 64 00:06:47,69.22652493 --> 00:06:49,649.22652493 Or, God's mad at me, He doesn't want me. 65 00:06:49,879.22652493 --> 00:06:52,159.22652493 Or, I'm just too far gone. 66 00:06:52,739.22652493 --> 00:06:58,679.22552493 It literally makes you have this inability to see your value and to be loved by God. 67 00:06:58,959.22552493 --> 00:07:05,949.22652493 Therefore, you reject Him and you reject His unwavering and unconditional love. 68 00:07:06,471.87116546 --> 00:07:24,311.87116546 So, instead, what it causes you to do, it causes you to look for ways to mask the pain and it invites unforgiveness in your heart to take root in your heart, which makes you ineffective in God's work and keeps you from receiving God's healing. 69 00:07:24,961.87116546 --> 00:07:26,391.87116546 I feel like I have to say that again. 70 00:07:26,871.87116546 --> 00:07:32,181.87116546 Because of the abuse that you experienced, it's caused you to have these deep rooted beliefs. 71 00:07:32,651.87116546 --> 00:07:45,571.87116546 That you are not valuable, that you're not worthy, and because of that, you distance yourself from God and you look for alternate ways to mask the pain because no one's taught you how to process these emotions that come from the abuse. 72 00:07:46,521.87116546 --> 00:08:00,81.87116546 And you now have offense and hurt and regret and shame and rejection all in your heart and you don't know how to get it out, you don't know how to heal from it, which in turn makes you ineffective in God's work. 73 00:08:00,621.87116546 --> 00:08:09,102.99337726 And keeps you from receiving God's healing because when we think about A woman that's in purpose and you don't have to be fully healed to be in purpose. 74 00:08:09,102.99337726 --> 00:08:17,445.99164409 Do not misinterpret what i'm saying, right? you are Your purpose does not depend on the acts that you do. 75 00:08:17,455.99164409 --> 00:08:21,155.99164409 Like, you have purpose just by being alive right now. 76 00:08:21,155.99164409 --> 00:08:25,695.99064409 Like, you as a being, you have purpose, right? Like, you were created with purpose. 77 00:08:26,314.36429571 --> 00:08:44,610.99921053 And so, this being ineffective in God's work, just imagine, that you are a lamp, okay? And you as a lamp, you're designed to shine bright and to light up spaces, to, to, to bring light to the darkness, to expose darkness. 78 00:08:46,80.99921053 --> 00:08:54,870.99921053 But over time, dust, dirt, cracks, little breakages here and there falling off the off the table. 79 00:08:55,395.99921053 --> 00:08:59,695.99921053 Um, start to cover up the lamp and to dim its light. 80 00:09:00,305.99921053 --> 00:09:08,795.99921053 And imagine that dust and debris is, is the pain of abuse, the broken trust that happened, the abandonment, the betrayal. 81 00:09:09,135.99821053 --> 00:09:13,445.99921053 And the cracks are the wounds from the words that cut deep. 82 00:09:13,775.99921053 --> 00:09:18,675.99921053 The promises that went unkept and the love that was withheld from you. 83 00:09:19,455.99921053 --> 00:09:23,265.99921053 Hey, and the more that this builds up, the harder it is for the light to shine through it. 84 00:09:23,535.99921053 --> 00:09:29,215.99921053 And so this lightbulb inside represents God's love, his purpose for you. 85 00:09:29,525.99921053 --> 00:09:30,445.99821053 It's still there. 86 00:09:30,445.99921053 --> 00:09:31,215.99821053 It's still present. 87 00:09:31,225.99921053 --> 00:09:41,125.99921053 The dirt and the dust, the abuse, it hasn't taken away God's love or God, taken away God at all. 88 00:09:41,295.99921053 --> 00:09:42,995.99921053 Right? It hasn't taken away his purpose for you. 89 00:09:43,155.99921053 --> 00:09:44,585.99921053 It's still there and it's still powerful. 90 00:09:44,965.99921053 --> 00:09:48,55.99821053 But the dirt and the damage is blocking the light. 91 00:09:48,630.99921053 --> 00:09:53,440.99921053 And so, because of this, you don't see yourself as a lamp that can shine bright. 92 00:09:53,750.99921053 --> 00:09:58,410.99921053 You start believing the lies that I shared before, right? I'm too broken to be used by God. 93 00:09:58,410.99921053 --> 00:09:59,650.99921053 I'm not worthy of His love. 94 00:09:59,650.99921053 --> 00:10:01,90.99921053 Or God's disappointed in me. 95 00:10:01,150.99921053 --> 00:10:03,990.99921053 And these thoughts make you, um, fall backwards. 96 00:10:03,990.99921053 --> 00:10:16,739.98853401 It makes you hide and so until we address the dirt and the debris and we clean it up and we fix the cracks, right? We address the rejection, we address the abandonment, we address the betrayal, the pain, the heartache, the abuse. 97 00:10:16,779.98853401 --> 00:10:26,89.98953401 Until we address it and we start to heal and dust it off, then we can be fully effective in God's plan for us, in the work He has us to do. 98 00:10:26,489.98953401 --> 00:10:30,969.98853401 Okay? Because until then, we're not operating at our fullest. 99 00:10:31,654.98953401 --> 00:10:38,54.98953401 Because we have this lens over our eyes that is making us view ourselves not as God views us. 100 00:10:38,454.98953401 --> 00:10:46,554.98953401 And until we can fully step into the, the full confidence that Christ wants us to have. 101 00:10:46,764.98953401 --> 00:11:26,989.98953401 We're not going to be as effective, right? And I'm sure you've noticed and recognized this in your own faith walk, right? Like maybe you didn't have the confidence to talk to that person in the grocery store that the holy spirit really drew you to Um, or maybe god put a book on your heart that you still have yet to to start taking action towards because you're afraid Of the judgment of other people or you're afraid of failure and all that comes from past trauma so So, what, the shift that I want you to make here of how you overcome this is instead of identifying with the one who has hurt you, start identifying yourself with the one who heals you with God. 102 00:11:27,689.98953401 --> 00:11:40,457.00711213 And how do you do this? My favorite way to do this, and I just did this because honestly it's been, it's been hard for me to really get in the word and to like, fully embrace what it's saying. 103 00:11:40,457.00711213 --> 00:11:43,17.00711213 Like, I've, I've just been reading to like, check off a box. 104 00:11:43,507.00711213 --> 00:11:49,27.00711213 Um, and it's been hard for me to comprehend and to really feel God's presence with me as I'm reading. 105 00:11:49,541.7893387 --> 00:11:51,461.7893387 Um, it's just been a tough season. 106 00:11:52,427.14357977 --> 00:11:56,177.14357977 And so, I was recognizing that, so what I did was I just went to worship. 107 00:11:56,457.14257977 --> 00:12:00,367.14257977 And I allowed just God's presence to overwhelm me. 108 00:12:00,567.14357977 --> 00:12:03,947.14357977 And then I went into just asking God to speak to me. 109 00:12:03,987.14357977 --> 00:12:05,547.14357977 Tell me, God, about myself. 110 00:12:06,377.14357977 --> 00:12:07,957.14357977 And He's going to speak. 111 00:12:07,987.14357977 --> 00:12:11,207.14257977 He's going to be faithful and He's going to speak to you, right? His word says. 112 00:12:11,742.14357977 --> 00:12:13,362.14357977 When we seek we will find. 113 00:12:13,372.14357977 --> 00:12:15,182.14357977 He's going to draw near to you. 114 00:12:15,182.14357977 --> 00:12:16,912.14357977 We draw near to him, he draws near to you. 115 00:12:17,602.14357977 --> 00:12:22,230.50674941 And so literally the other day, I asked the Lord to just speak to me. 116 00:12:22,590.50674941 --> 00:12:24,40.50574941 And he did. 117 00:12:24,60.50574941 --> 00:12:27,670.50674941 And what I thought were going to be words of disappointment. 118 00:12:28,550.50674941 --> 00:12:29,270.50674941 I know now. 119 00:12:29,270.50674941 --> 00:12:39,890.50674941 I mean, I used to really be afraid that God was gonna speak in, in, in a disappointing tone with me, but now I know I, I'm gonna come to him and I'm gonna hear words of love and encouragement, and that's exactly what I received. 120 00:12:40,10.50674941 --> 00:12:41,960.50674941 And so he's gonna tell you about yourself. 121 00:12:41,960.50674941 --> 00:12:54,542.18920602 He's going to label you and what you do, once he gives you a label, once he tells you who you are, you repeatedly go back to the word, this is how we stand on God's word. 122 00:12:54,662.18920602 --> 00:12:59,522.18920602 We don't just hear it and then just forget about it and move on with our day and never revisit it. 123 00:12:59,542.18920602 --> 00:13:04,142.18820602 That is how the word doesn't take root in our heart and then walk it out. 124 00:13:04,512.18920602 --> 00:13:08,721.42788053 So what, who does God say that you are? Go into prayer and ask him. 125 00:13:08,771.42688053 --> 00:13:09,671.42788053 He's gonna tell you. 126 00:13:10,41.42788053 --> 00:13:11,551.42788053 And then start reading that every day. 127 00:13:11,551.42788053 --> 00:13:12,891.42788053 Make that your focus. 128 00:13:13,328.47433936 --> 00:13:18,458.47333936 And this is gonna be how you're gonna identify yourself as who God says that you are. 129 00:13:18,878.74034239 --> 00:13:28,270.44469022 I can stay and major on that all day, but we're going to move to the next, okay? The second thing unhealed trauma does to you is It makes you stay stuck in shame. 130 00:13:29,310.44469022 --> 00:13:31,130.44469022 And I want to define shame really quickly. 131 00:13:31,440.44469022 --> 00:13:36,499.81145501 Shame is this intense feeling that you are unworthy of love, of acceptance. 132 00:13:36,849.81145501 --> 00:13:39,949.81145501 Shame causes you to do more of the same thing. 133 00:13:40,269.81145501 --> 00:13:43,339.81145501 It keeps you stuck in the same toxic cycles. 134 00:13:43,639.81145501 --> 00:13:52,39.81095501 And it keeps you going back to committing the same type of sin which is causing you to be distant from God when you are stuck in the shame. 135 00:13:52,39.81095501 --> 00:13:56,639.81145501 Because when you are in the shame and condemnation, you are believing lies about God. 136 00:13:56,869.81145501 --> 00:14:09,52.70765955 And this is exactly where the enemy wants to keep you because he knows if he can get you, if he can get you stuck in the cycle of shame, you're going to keep doing the things that you're trying to undo, that you have regret doing. 137 00:14:09,350.38143477 --> 00:14:16,450.38243477 Because you are now identifying yourself with the thing that you did, the mistake that you made, versus who God says that you are. 138 00:14:16,703.33813687 --> 00:14:19,245.76424147 The freedom that he's already died for you to have. 139 00:14:20,208.86838991 --> 00:14:29,348.86838991 So when we're living in the shame that the enemy loves us to stay here, it makes you afraid to turn to God and to let him search you. 140 00:14:29,802.20864609 --> 00:14:37,512.20864609 And when we're afraid to let God search us, we have a wrong perception and idea of who God is. 141 00:14:37,562.20864609 --> 00:14:38,382.20864609 Because God is love. 142 00:14:39,312.20964609 --> 00:14:41,152.20964609 He's not, he doesn't want to condemn you. 143 00:14:41,242.20964609 --> 00:14:44,252.20964609 He doesn't want to tell you how disappointed he is in you. 144 00:14:44,252.20964609 --> 00:15:00,232.20964609 If we look at the prodigal son, how did the father, how was the father responding to the prodigal son who just spent his entire inheritance on multiple prostitutes and partying and, and, and so many dark things? Yet the father was not waiting to teach him a lesson when he came back home. 145 00:15:00,332.20964609 --> 00:15:03,342.20964609 He was waiting with open arms and to give him gifts. 146 00:15:03,662.20964609 --> 00:15:05,662.20964609 To, to, to just be with him. 147 00:15:06,412.20964609 --> 00:15:08,82.20864609 To celebrate him coming home. 148 00:15:08,452.20964609 --> 00:15:10,622.20964609 This is the God who we serve. 149 00:15:11,172.20964609 --> 00:15:19,694.56639062 And so, shame robs us of our ability to change, because when we live in shame, it makes us go back to the thing that we're running from. 150 00:15:19,884.56639062 --> 00:15:21,574.56639062 It makes us go back to the sin. 151 00:15:21,844.56639062 --> 00:15:24,114.56639062 And this, again, is exactly what the enemy wants. 152 00:15:24,114.56639062 --> 00:15:25,824.56639062 He wants to keep us in this cycle. 153 00:15:26,139.56639062 --> 00:15:41,259.56539062 That's destructive to make us believe this lie that God doesn't want us and that we aren't worthy of his love That what Jesus done on the cross covers everyone else's sin But not our own that what we did was way too bad that we should have known better That God set us free from that already. 154 00:15:41,399.56639062 --> 00:15:55,296.41357906 Why did we go back to that? You were unworthy like this is lies sister total lies And so the switch here and the solution is we must see that God is a loving God to make us run to him. 155 00:15:55,296.41357906 --> 00:16:00,816.41357906 The Bible actually tells us that, that love is the thing that leads people to repentance. 156 00:16:01,86.41257906 --> 00:16:02,756.41357906 It's not law. 157 00:16:02,926.41357906 --> 00:16:04,976.41257906 It's not telling you what you did wrong. 158 00:16:05,191.41357906 --> 00:16:13,431.41357906 It's love, and God literally is love, so we must know who God is, and the best way to know who God is, is to spend time with him. 159 00:16:13,771.41357906 --> 00:16:17,201.41357906 Easiest way to do that is in his word, in worship, and in prayer. 160 00:16:18,481.10352047 --> 00:16:26,31.10352047 The third thing that unhealed trauma does to us, is it makes us paralyzed with fear. 161 00:16:26,921.10352047 --> 00:16:29,921.10352047 And I've said it before, I'll say it again, fear is so demonic. 162 00:16:30,254.15152317 --> 00:16:38,164.15152317 because when we are living in fear, it makes us, it makes us believe these lies that, like, it really just makes us live small. 163 00:16:38,617.99673801 --> 00:16:50,687.996738 It makes us fear man, it makes us fear the unknown, it makes us fear falling in love, it makes us fear giving love, um, it keeps us in, in a box. 164 00:16:51,408.8629838 --> 00:16:54,98.8629838 And what fear does, it makes us question. 165 00:16:54,698.8629838 --> 00:16:59,178.8629838 Your purpose and your relationship with God and what He's able to do. 166 00:17:00,98.8629838 --> 00:17:03,308.8629838 When you are fearful, you are agreeing with the devil. 167 00:17:03,812.3995815 --> 00:17:04,982.4005815 It's just plain and simple. 168 00:17:04,982.4005815 --> 00:17:07,112.4005815 There's really no, like, better way to say it. 169 00:17:07,132.4005815 --> 00:17:18,57.4005815 And this was something that I, once I learned this, it actually, like, it helps me whenever I do try to, when I do find myself Like falling or flirting with being fearful. 170 00:17:18,307.4005815 --> 00:17:20,57.4005815 It's like, you know what, listen, this is not of God. 171 00:17:20,57.4005815 --> 00:17:21,837.4005815 And I can be confident that it's not of God. 172 00:17:22,27.4005815 --> 00:17:24,817.4005815 Because God is not, He doesn't want me to live in fear. 173 00:17:25,274.783394 --> 00:17:34,64.783394 So, because I am a child of God, And I do not want to identify with anything that is not of God, I do not have to identify with fear. 174 00:17:34,466.369564 --> 00:17:47,846.369564 I'm sure you're very acquainted with, with being fearful, right? You understand we've all experienced massive fear before that has kept us from stepping out in faith, right? It makes us question ourselves. 175 00:17:47,846.369564 --> 00:17:51,466.369564 It makes us doubt and it makes us stay stuck and paralyzes us. 176 00:17:51,796.369564 --> 00:17:55,316.368564 It keeps us from doing what God has called us to do. 177 00:17:55,884.7099342 --> 00:18:02,924.7099342 And the difference, like, the type of fear that I'm talking about that's demonic is not the fear that is a healthy fear. 178 00:18:03,144.7099342 --> 00:18:07,634.7099342 Right? A healthy fear is time bound and it has limits. 179 00:18:08,504.7099342 --> 00:18:11,714.7099342 The unhealthy fear is the paralyzing one. 180 00:18:12,514.7099342 --> 00:18:18,934.7099342 Right? Like, the easiest example is We have a fear of touching the hot stove because we know it's gonna, it's gonna burn us. 181 00:18:19,284.7099342 --> 00:18:20,384.7099342 That is a healthy fear. 182 00:18:20,404.7099342 --> 00:18:22,344.7099342 It has its limits and it's time bound. 183 00:18:22,575.5789819 --> 00:18:27,975.5789819 Okay, the paralyzing fear is when you are thinking the worst is about to happen. 184 00:18:27,975.5789819 --> 00:18:29,595.5779819 You have a fear of the unknown. 185 00:18:29,825.5789819 --> 00:18:30,685.5789819 That doesn't have limits. 186 00:18:30,685.6789819 --> 00:18:31,585.5779819 It's not time bound. 187 00:18:31,765.5789819 --> 00:18:32,875.5789819 You have a fear of failure. 188 00:18:33,45.5789819 --> 00:18:34,175.5789819 That doesn't have limits. 189 00:18:34,175.5789819 --> 00:18:35,295.5789819 That is not time bound. 190 00:18:35,295.5789819 --> 00:18:36,335.5779819 You cannot measure that. 191 00:18:36,535.5789819 --> 00:18:40,35.5789819 The fear of being judged, this does not, it's not time bound. 192 00:18:40,35.5789819 --> 00:18:41,355.5789819 It has, it doesn't have limits. 193 00:18:41,375.5789819 --> 00:18:42,555.5789819 It is ongoing. 194 00:18:43,95.5789819 --> 00:18:47,405.5789819 Okay, that's how you can differentiate a healthy fear and an unhealthy fear. 195 00:18:48,94.6684898 --> 00:18:57,684.6684898 And so this undealt with fear, right, if you're not addressing it, if you don't know that it's not something that you have to live with, you're going to continue falling back into it. 196 00:18:58,24.6684898 --> 00:19:07,214.6684898 And so when you have this undealt fear in your heart due to past trauma, it can make you have this overwhelming urge to control things. 197 00:19:07,868.3773811 --> 00:19:16,549.1138267 And we all know that when we open the door to having the spirit of control overtake us, it is not, it stems from pride. 198 00:19:17,269.1138267 --> 00:19:21,401.0028312 Right? Fear, pride, control, that's all not of God. 199 00:19:22,461.0028312 --> 00:19:33,231.0028312 Okay? And when we lean into those things, and I spent years, years in pride and wanting to control everything because I was afraid of not having control and things being chaotic. 200 00:19:33,934.7777802 --> 00:19:39,4.7777802 But when we are in this spirit of control, it's not leaving room for God to do his mighty work. 201 00:19:39,234.7777802 --> 00:19:43,934.7777802 Therefore, we become our own God, and this is exactly what the enemy wants. 202 00:19:43,964.7767802 --> 00:19:52,284.7777802 Because if we make ourself our source, if we rely on ourself, we are not going to walk in the fullness of what God has for us. 203 00:19:52,799.7777802 --> 00:19:59,539.7777802 Because to walk in the fullness of what God has for us, it is going to require a radical obedience from us. 204 00:19:59,539.8777802 --> 00:20:01,689.7777802 It's going to require a full surrender. 205 00:20:02,99.7777802 --> 00:20:09,479.7777802 It's going to require us to be fully devoted to the Lord and to say yes to Him and no to our flesh. 206 00:20:09,675.3433477 --> 00:20:14,775.3433477 And this is exactly where the enemy wants us to live because he doesn't want to see you walk out your call. 207 00:20:15,435.3433477 --> 00:20:20,265.3423477 Like, I'm already accepting the fact that my plans are nothing compared to what God has. 208 00:20:20,585.3433477 --> 00:20:27,985.3433477 And I have to continue reminding myself, like, hey, my, my, what I have to do is I just have to take one step forward. 209 00:20:28,115.3433477 --> 00:20:29,585.3433477 One step forward. 210 00:20:29,735.3433477 --> 00:20:33,945.3433477 I got to, I have to lean on the Lord because He may shift things and I have to be okay with it. 211 00:20:34,602.8502002 --> 00:20:35,972.8502002 Because his plans are greater. 212 00:20:36,661.4703921 --> 00:20:47,938.5381195 And if we look at all the people that did huge things, I mean, Noah's the first one that comes to mind, like, He's probably, I probably would have looked at Noah back then and been like, That guy's, that guy's loony. 213 00:20:48,288.5381195 --> 00:20:55,643.6795784 What is he doing? Like, what the heck? But that's because he, he was, he was, leaning on the Lord and standing in faith. 214 00:20:56,272.5969331 --> 00:20:59,672.5969331 Right? He wasn't paralyzed with fear of what people were going to say about him. 215 00:21:00,422.5969331 --> 00:21:02,52.5969331 He was being pushed forward. 216 00:21:02,492.5969331 --> 00:21:05,572.5969331 And this is, this is the life that God wants us all to live. 217 00:21:06,212.5959331 --> 00:21:10,622.5969331 Because he wants to, he wants to do something in you and through you. 218 00:21:11,231.3797305 --> 00:21:24,55.9264493 And so, how you really release fear from your life It's, it's about releasing this control because this is a lot of the times what this unhealthy fear is linked to. 219 00:21:24,908.7453132 --> 00:21:30,488.7443132 So you must release this control to the Holy Spirit of all things. 220 00:21:30,888.7453132 --> 00:21:34,698.7463132 Know that love is the opposite of fear, it's actually not faith. 221 00:21:35,532.7211594 --> 00:21:38,292.7211594 Love is what drives fear away. 222 00:21:38,762.7211594 --> 00:21:47,258.9645415 Because if you can know that you are fully and wholeheartedly loved by God, you are protected. 223 00:21:48,57.2885508 --> 00:21:50,327.2875508 Your steps are anointed. 224 00:21:50,567.2875508 --> 00:21:52,777.2875508 You can fully embrace the promises of God. 225 00:21:53,509.0028956 --> 00:22:00,89.0028956 That you are called, you are chosen, you are protected, no, no hair on your head can, can be harmed. 226 00:22:00,491.8150169 --> 00:22:09,211.8150169 Fear literally, based on God's word that is permanent and true forever and ever, fear has to go when we know the characteristics of God. 227 00:22:10,734.4949038 --> 00:22:11,434.4949038 It has to. 228 00:22:12,405.9140083 --> 00:22:19,15.9130083 And so the remedy of fear is just really learning who God is, the characteristics of him. 229 00:22:20,13.437048 --> 00:22:26,863.437048 And I think the best way to do that is reading the Gospels, we see the life of Jesus and we can know God's heart through that. 230 00:22:27,242.6979176 --> 00:22:37,101.2788184 Now the fourth and final thing that unhealed trauma does is it invites the enemy to attack you, right? They are these open doors. 231 00:22:37,651.2788184 --> 00:22:52,741.2788184 And these open doors look like pride, looks like the spirit of mammon, aka the love of money and possessions, um, shame, rejection, abuse, impurity, fear, and unforgiveness. 232 00:22:53,690.9773957 --> 00:22:58,420.9773957 And like I said at the very beginning of this episode, the devil studies you. 233 00:22:58,430.9773957 --> 00:23:08,450.9763957 He knows exactly what went on in your past, he knows what you've walked through, and he wants to stab you there over and over and over again in the areas that hurt the most. 234 00:23:08,790.9763957 --> 00:23:12,130.9773957 Because he, he wants, he wants to make you fall, that's his goal. 235 00:23:12,130.9773957 --> 00:23:26,746.7343881 Why would he go for, why would he not go for the headshot? He's going to feed your mind with the cycles of fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and the future because he doesn't want you to walk in the call God has over your life. 236 00:23:26,756.7353881 --> 00:23:34,386.7353881 He wants to keep you bitter, he wants to keep you angry and resentful so you don't experience the full healing that God has for you. 237 00:23:34,657.2462315 --> 00:23:43,455.6213996 Because if he can keep you stuck in this cycle, you, he can, he can keep you from experiencing the full freedom that God wants to give you here on earth. 238 00:23:44,140.215106 --> 00:23:46,780.216106 So we must close these doors. 239 00:23:47,200.215106 --> 00:23:52,880.215106 Okay? We have to recognize what are the beliefs and the lies that are holding us back that we believe. 240 00:23:53,635.215106 --> 00:24:10,55.215106 Where are you in agreement with the enemy? Do you have undealt with fear? Do you have pride in your life? Do you have shame? Do you have, um, um, impurity in your life? Do you have unforgiveness? These are all open doors that are truly inviting the enemy to come in and to continue to mess with you. 241 00:24:10,705.214106 --> 00:24:14,65.215106 So you have to first recognize where you're in agreement with the enemy. 242 00:24:14,441.0804689 --> 00:24:19,191.0804689 And then after you recognize, step number two, you want to repent, renounce, and rebuke. 243 00:24:19,511.0804689 --> 00:24:23,21.0804689 So you want to repent and do that 180 turn. 244 00:24:23,21.1804689 --> 00:24:25,521.0794689 Turn from unforgiveness to forgiveness. 245 00:24:25,541.0804689 --> 00:24:28,371.0804689 Turn from pride to humility and surrender. 246 00:24:28,871.0804689 --> 00:24:36,281.0804689 Do that 180 turn, repent, and then renounce the lies that you've believed, and then rebuke the enemy at work in your life. 247 00:24:36,571.0804689 --> 00:24:41,911.5188865 This can sound something like God, I come to you with an honest heart. 248 00:24:41,911.5188865 --> 00:24:51,411.5178865 I acknowledge that I have been walking in pride and I confess that there have been times when I've trusted in my own strength and wisdom and understanding instead of fully depending on you. 249 00:24:51,471.5188865 --> 00:24:56,831.5188865 I've allowed arrogance, self righteousness, and fear to take control of my life. 250 00:24:57,41.5178865 --> 00:24:58,371.5188865 And I repent of that, God. 251 00:24:58,851.5188865 --> 00:25:25,568.7645417 Um, then moving into renouncing, It can be like right now, in the name of Jesus, I renounce the spirit of pride, I break every agreement that I've made, knowing or unknowingly, with self sufficiency, with control, with rebellion, with, uh, arrogance, and I reject every single lie that says I have to prove my worth, earn love, or exalt myself to be seen and valued. 252 00:25:26,183.7645417 --> 00:25:28,863.7645417 Whatever, insert whatever it is that you're struggling with there. 253 00:25:29,173.7645417 --> 00:25:39,723.7635417 And then rebuking, I rebuke the enemy in every single plan that he has over my life or my bloodline that he has used pride to keep me distant from you and ineffective in your work. 254 00:25:39,753.7635417 --> 00:25:48,733.7645417 I cancel every single foothold that he's tried to gain through my pride and I declare that he has no power or authority over my life any longer. 255 00:25:49,603.7645417 --> 00:25:51,63.7645417 So that takes you through those three R's. 256 00:25:51,668.7645417 --> 00:25:56,198.7645417 And then the third thing that you want to do here is you want to know and declare truth. 257 00:25:56,548.7645417 --> 00:26:09,244.4434423 And so this is one of my favorite things, right? Making these new declarations over your life, so you not only want to, release and to clean out the temple in your heart, you want to fill it back up with something. 258 00:26:09,244.4444423 --> 00:26:11,724.4444423 You want to fill it back up with the truth. 259 00:26:11,996.8074648 --> 00:26:18,746.8084648 So this is where you're going to go to scripture that you can lean on and stand on in the thing that you just rebuked. 260 00:26:19,306.8084648 --> 00:26:29,676.8074648 And if you want a list of declarations, I have them for pride, for shame, for rejection, abuse, fear, everything in my free community, The Healing Circle. 261 00:26:29,926.8074648 --> 00:26:35,556.8084648 So if you want that list of declarations, come join in The Healing Circle and you can find it in resources. 262 00:26:35,786.8084648 --> 00:26:37,506.8074648 And you can join at WOP. 263 00:26:37,926.8074648 --> 00:26:45,806.8074648 com Forward slash The Healing Circle, that's w h o p dot com forward slash The Healing Circle. 264 00:26:46,56.8789316 --> 00:26:50,496.8789316 Going over those four reasons why unhealed trauma is literally the devil's playground. 265 00:26:50,526.8789316 --> 00:27:04,636.8789316 Once again, the first one being the unhealed wounds is what is distancing you from God because going through abuse distorts your self worth and you have this inability to see your value or to be loved by God. 266 00:27:05,86.8789316 --> 00:27:23,845.7268426 The second thing it does, it keeps you stuck in shame, which when you're in this cycle of shame, it causes you to go back to your past and to embody this, this identity of this person who is addicted, who is unworthy, who is unlovable, who is, not talented. 267 00:27:23,895.7268426 --> 00:27:29,545.7268426 The shame of your past mistakes keep you stuck in this old identity that you're trying to break free from. 268 00:27:29,855.7268426 --> 00:27:34,725.7258426 And the third thing that unhealed trauma does, it makes you paralyzed with fear. 269 00:27:35,335.7268426 --> 00:27:44,815.7268426 And the enemy wants to keep you in the state of fear because it's going to keep you from moving into all that God has for you because moving into all that God has for you is going to require faith. 270 00:27:45,255.3035472 --> 00:27:58,60.0147547 And then finally, the enemy is going to use all these unhealed wounds and the results of those wounds, those are all open doors for him to be invited in and to create chaos in your, in your inner life and your external one. 271 00:27:58,382.956059 --> 00:28:11,452.355059 And this is why it is so imperative to really focus in on your healing journey, let God into these parts of you, and to do those three steps of recognizing, repenting, renouncing, rebuking, and then knowing and declaring truth. 272 00:28:11,922.355059 --> 00:28:14,12.355059 I pray that this episode blessed you. 273 00:28:14,122.355059 --> 00:28:17,512.355059 Come on over to the free community where you can download those declarations. 274 00:28:17,542.355059 --> 00:28:22,362.355059 They're so powerful, and I'll see you back here same time, same place next week. 275 00:28:22,632.355059 --> 00:28:23,252.355059 Love you. 276 00:28:23,302.355059 --> 00:28:23,722.355059 Bye. 277 00:28:23,934.1010443 --> 00:28:24,824.1010443 Hey, beautiful. 278 00:28:24,864.1010443 --> 00:28:28,434.1010443 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 279 00:28:28,734.1010443 --> 00:28:42,864.1010443 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 280 00:28:42,864.1010443 --> 00:28:48,264.1010443 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 281 00:28:48,539.1010443 --> 00:28:53,919.1010443 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 282 00:28:53,989.1010443 --> 00:28:54,409.1010443 Okay. 283 00:28:54,509.1010443 --> 00:28:57,79.1010443 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 284 00:28:57,239.1010443 --> 00:29:03,209.1010443 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
hello, beautiful.
(00:02):
.379261364Listen, you know that the Bible tells us that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 3 00:00:13,192.378261364 --> 00:00:14,132.378261364 It's very clear. 4 00:00:14,372.379261364 --> 00:00:17,12.379261364 What this means is, it means that he studies you. 5 00:00:17,262.379261364 --> 00:00:19,92.279261364 That he knows your fears. 6 00:00:19,332.379261364 --> 00:00:25,52.379261364 He knows your patterns, your habits, and what gets you caught in his trap. 7 00:00:25,62.379261364 --> 00:00:28,532.379261364 This, imagine a lion studying his prey. 8 00:00:28,542.379261364 --> 00:00:31,162.378261364 This is how the devil is watching you. 9 00:00:31,592.436079545 --> 00:00:43,542.436079545 He's cunning, and he's waiting for the perfect time to shoot thoughts, ideas, and suggestions in your mind to make you fall backwards in your faith, your life, your relationships, and your healing. 10 00:00:44,72.436079545 --> 00:00:55,182.436079545 And so if you find yourself stuck in having this inability to receive all that God has for you, his love, his blessings, and the life of freedom, Freedom that he has for you. 11 00:00:55,422.436079545 --> 00:00:57,582.436079545 Then this is the episode for you. 12 00:00:57,772.436079545 --> 00:01:12,192.436079545 I'm going to be sharing with you the four reasons why unhealed trauma is the devil's playground, so you can understand what the open doors are, so you know how you can take your first steps towards becoming free from them in Jesus name. 13 00:01:12,504.214277089 --> 00:01:14,904.215277089 Get ready, grab your journal, let's dive in. 14 00:01:14,914.215277089 --> 00:01:16,114.215277089 Hey, beautiful. 15 00:01:16,154.215277089 --> 00:01:19,954.215277089 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 16 00:01:20,74.215277089 --> 00:01:42,774.21527709 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 17 00:01:42,824.21427709 --> 00:01:44,364.21427709 Well, sis, you're not alone. 18 00:01:44,434.21527709 --> 00:01:45,564.21527709 I've been there, too. 19 00:01:45,674.21527709 --> 00:01:52,844.21527709 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 20 00:01:52,964.21527709 --> 00:01:58,634.21527709 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 21 00:01:58,674.21527709 --> 00:02:04,104.21527709 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 22 00:02:04,144.21527709 --> 00:02:09,674.21527709 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 23 00:02:09,839.21527709 --> 00:02:25,19.21527709 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 24 00:02:25,159.21427709 --> 00:02:28,129.21527709 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 25 00:02:28,259.21527709 --> 00:02:34,279.21527709 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 26 00:02:34,734.01458385 --> 00:02:46,84.01458385 Hey sister! Have you joined the healing circle yet? If you're ready to heal from your past, grow in your faith, and finally walk in that God given confidence, this is your spot. 27 00:02:46,624.01458385 --> 00:02:51,584.01458385 We're a community of women doing the heart work together and I'd love for you to come hang out with us. 28 00:02:52,249.19324815 --> 00:03:04,702.52224366 You're going to have weekly encouragement to keep you going when time gets tough, challenges to help you break those toxic patterns, and live journaling sessions so you can process and reflect in a safe space. 29 00:03:05,142.52324366 --> 00:03:08,332.52324366 And the best part about this is, is that it's totally free. 30 00:03:08,712.52224366 --> 00:03:12,492.52324366 And trust me, you do not want to miss out on some sisterhood. 31 00:03:12,919.55927385 --> 00:03:14,529.55927385 You can join at WOP. 32 00:03:14,869.55927385 --> 00:03:17,129.55927385 com forward slash the Healing Circle. 33 00:03:17,385.99194927 --> 00:03:21,665.99194927 That's w h o p dot com slash the healing circle. 34 00:03:21,785.39908908 --> 00:03:23,265.39908908 And once you're in it, don't be shy. 35 00:03:23,305.39908908 --> 00:03:26,725.39908908 Introduce yourself and share any burning question that you have. 36 00:03:26,785.39908908 --> 00:03:29,425.39908908 And I'll give you some laser coaching right there on the spot. 37 00:03:29,895.39908908 --> 00:03:30,615.39908908 I'll see you in there. 38 00:03:31,75.4050347 --> 00:03:37,135.4050347 I remember when I was plagued with rejection and abandonment wounds. 39 00:03:37,555.4050347 --> 00:03:42,585.4040347 It made me have this hardened heart towards men especially. 40 00:03:42,975.4040347 --> 00:03:46,605.4040347 And carry this belief that I had to earn love. 41 00:03:46,625.4040347 --> 00:03:53,825.4050347 And let me just tell you, this was, I just recently over the last year discovered that this was a deep belief that I've been carrying. 42 00:03:54,445.4050347 --> 00:04:03,135.31537556 You know, I felt like I had to, complete good works to be worthy of love, and this hindered my relationship with God. 43 00:04:03,175.31637556 --> 00:04:22,785.21637556 And this, if I backtracked it to my childhood, like, I was expected to be perfect in school, um, to be the, I was not only the oldest sister, but I was the oldest cousin all of my younger cousins, and I was always expected to be the one that they looked up to, to be perfect. 44 00:04:23,332.57703685 --> 00:04:30,172.57703685 and without me knowing then, my worth was being defined by what I could do for others. 45 00:04:30,182.57603685 --> 00:04:32,502.57603685 By earning this love. 46 00:04:32,801.19691408 --> 00:04:41,611.19691408 and so this belief hindered my relationship with God because I felt like I had this inability to freely receive God's love. 47 00:04:41,921.19591408 --> 00:04:48,281.19691408 And then whenever I did mess up, it made me feel even more shameful and like the Lord was rejecting me. 48 00:04:48,321.19691408 --> 00:04:51,331.19691408 Like he was disappointed in me, like he didn't want me to come to him. 49 00:04:51,781.19691408 --> 00:05:03,36.19691408 And it wasn't until I went to this freedom conference that I had I had never had open doors and trauma wounds broken down to me from a biblical perspective. 50 00:05:03,456.19691408 --> 00:05:10,896.19691408 It exposed the devil at work in my life and helped me to be able to choose to live in freedom every single day. 51 00:05:11,96.19591408 --> 00:05:20,66.19691408 And I want to share with you the same principles and things that I took away from that for you to be able to do the same exact thing in your life. 52 00:05:20,878.53798086 --> 00:05:26,468.53798086 so first I want to share why unhealed wounds distances you from God. 53 00:05:26,828.53698086 --> 00:05:37,858.53798086 And your unhealed wounds might not be the same that, that I've experienced, right? And you may not be carrying the same exact beliefs that, that I have to earn love, or that you have to earn love. 54 00:05:38,148.53798086 --> 00:05:42,258.63326789 But these unhealed wounds do have a root. 55 00:05:42,524.54631136 --> 00:05:45,414.54631136 So let's first obviously talk about where the wounds come from. 56 00:05:45,784.54631136 --> 00:05:58,94.54631136 Comes from physical abuse, verbal, sexual, emotional, spiritual abuse, and abandonment by broken trust, unkept promises, and betrayal. 57 00:05:58,601.00132016 --> 00:06:15,22.06306656 And these experiences hinder your relationship with God, it keeps you kind of at an arm's length from him, because these things distort your, your trust, your trust in people, love, your capacity to love, and distort your self worth. 58 00:06:15,802.06306656 --> 00:06:22,202.06306656 So, When you experience abuse, it directly affects the way that you view yourself. 59 00:06:22,522.85862131 --> 00:06:25,432.85962131 The value that you see within yourself. 60 00:06:26,245.70716169 --> 00:06:30,775.70716169 experience some form of abuse, you don't view yourself as someone with value. 61 00:06:30,995.70716169 --> 00:06:38,545.70616169 So you think things like, God doesn't love me as much as he loves my pastor, or as much as he loves my friend. 62 00:06:38,555.70616169 --> 00:06:43,135.60716169 That's in ministry, or she's like really solid in her relationship with God. 63 00:06:43,609.22652493 --> 00:06:46,879.22652493 Or thoughts like, I'm not worthy to go to God. 64 00:06:47,69.22652493 --> 00:06:49,649.22652493 Or, God's mad at me, He doesn't want me. 65 00:06:49,879.22652493 --> 00:06:52,159.22652493 Or, I'm just too far gone. 66 00:06:52,739.22652493 --> 00:06:58,679.22552493 It literally makes you have this inability to see your value and to be loved by God. 67 00:06:58,959.22552493 --> 00:07:05,949.22652493 Therefore, you reject Him and you reject His unwavering and unconditional love. 68 00:07:06,471.87116546 --> 00:07:24,311.87116546 So, instead, what it causes you to do, it causes you to look for ways to mask the pain and it invites unforgiveness in your heart to take root in your heart, which makes you ineffective in God's work and keeps you from receiving God's healing. 69 00:07:24,961.87116546 --> 00:07:26,391.87116546 I feel like I have to say that again. 70 00:07:26,871.87116546 --> 00:07:32,181.87116546 Because of the abuse that you experienced, it's caused you to have these deep rooted beliefs. 71 00:07:32,651.87116546 --> 00:07:45,571.87116546 That you are not valuable, that you're not worthy, and because of that, you distance yourself from God and you look for alternate ways to mask the pain because no one's taught you how to process these emotions that come from the abuse. 72 00:07:46,521.87116546 --> 00:08:00,81.87116546 And you now have offense and hurt and regret and shame and rejection all in your heart and you don't know how to get it out, you don't know how to heal from it, which in turn makes you ineffective in God's work. 73 00:08:00,621.87116546 --> 00:08:09,102.99337726 And keeps you from receiving God's healing because when we think about A woman that's in purpose and you don't have to be fully healed to be in purpose. 74 00:08:09,102.99337726 --> 00:08:17,445.99164409 Do not misinterpret what i'm saying, right? you are Your purpose does not depend on the acts that you do. 75 00:08:17,455.99164409 --> 00:08:21,155.99164409 Like, you have purpose just by being alive right now. 76 00:08:21,155.99164409 --> 00:08:25,695.99064409 Like, you as a being, you have purpose, right? Like, you were created with purpose. 77 00:08:26,314.36429571 --> 00:08:44,610.99921053 And so, this being ineffective in God's work, just imagine, that you are a lamp, okay? And you as a lamp, you're designed to shine bright and to light up spaces, to, to, to bring light to the darkness, to expose darkness. 78 00:08:46,80.99921053 --> 00:08:54,870.99921053 But over time, dust, dirt, cracks, little breakages here and there falling off the off the table. 79 00:08:55,395.99921053 --> 00:08:59,695.99921053 Um, start to cover up the lamp and to dim its light. 80 00:09:00,305.99921053 --> 00:09:08,795.99921053 And imagine that dust and debris is, is the pain of abuse, the broken trust that happened, the abandonment, the betrayal. 81 00:09:09,135.99821053 --> 00:09:13,445.99921053 And the cracks are the wounds from the words that cut deep. 82 00:09:13,775.99921053 --> 00:09:18,675.99921053 The promises that went unkept and the love that was withheld from you. 83 00:09:19,455.99921053 --> 00:09:23,265.99921053 Hey, and the more that this builds up, the harder it is for the light to shine through it. 84 00:09:23,535.99921053 --> 00:09:29,215.99921053 And so this lightbulb inside represents God's love, his purpose for you. 85 00:09:29,525.99921053 --> 00:09:30,445.99821053 It's still there. 86 00:09:30,445.99921053 --> 00:09:31,215.99821053 It's still present. 87 00:09:31,225.99921053 --> 00:09:41,125.99921053 The dirt and the dust, the abuse, it hasn't taken away God's love or God, taken away God at all. 88 00:09:41,295.99921053 --> 00:09:42,995.99921053 Right? It hasn't taken away his purpose for you. 89 00:09:43,155.99921053 --> 00:09:44,585.99921053 It's still there and it's still powerful. 90 00:09:44,965.99921053 --> 00:09:48,55.99821053 But the dirt and the damage is blocking the light. 91 00:09:48,630.99921053 --> 00:09:53,440.99921053 And so, because of this, you don't see yourself as a lamp that can shine bright. 92 00:09:53,750.99921053 --> 00:09:58,410.99921053 You start believing the lies that I shared before, right? I'm too broken to be used by God. 93 00:09:58,410.99921053 --> 00:09:59,650.99921053 I'm not worthy of His love. 94 00:09:59,650.99921053 --> 00:10:01,90.99921053 Or God's disappointed in me. 95 00:10:01,150.99921053 --> 00:10:03,990.99921053 And these thoughts make you, um, fall backwards. 96 00:10:03,990.99921053 --> 00:10:16,739.98853401 It makes you hide and so until we address the dirt and the debris and we clean it up and we fix the cracks, right? We address the rejection, we address the abandonment, we address the betrayal, the pain, the heartache, the abuse. 97 00:10:16,779.98853401 --> 00:10:26,89.98953401 Until we address it and we start to heal and dust it off, then we can be fully effective in God's plan for us, in the work He has us to do. 98 00:10:26,489.98953401 --> 00:10:30,969.98853401 Okay? Because until then, we're not operating at our fullest. 99 00:10:31,654.98953401 --> 00:10:38,54.98953401 Because we have this lens over our eyes that is making us view ourselves not as God views us. 100 00:10:38,454.98953401 --> 00:10:46,554.98953401 And until we can fully step into the, the full confidence that Christ wants us to have. 101 00:10:46,764.98953401 --> 00:11:26,989.98953401 We're not going to be as effective, right? And I'm sure you've noticed and recognized this in your own faith walk, right? Like maybe you didn't have the confidence to talk to that person in the grocery store that the holy spirit really drew you to Um, or maybe god put a book on your heart that you still have yet to to start taking action towards because you're afraid Of the judgment of other people or you're afraid of failure and all that comes from past trauma so So, what, the shift that I want you to make here of how you overcome this is instead of identifying with the one who has hurt you, start identifying yourself with the one who heals you with God. 102 00:11:27,689.98953401 --> 00:11:40,457.00711213 And how do you do this? My favorite way to do this, and I just did this because honestly it's been, it's been hard for me to really get in the word and to like, fully embrace what it's saying. 103 00:11:40,457.00711213 --> 00:11:43,17.00711213 Like, I've, I've just been reading to like, check off a box. 104 00:11:43,507.00711213 --> 00:11:49,27.00711213 Um, and it's been hard for me to comprehend and to really feel God's presence with me as I'm reading. 105 00:11:49,541.7893387 --> 00:11:51,461.7893387 Um, it's just been a tough season. 106 00:11:52,427.14357977 --> 00:11:56,177.14357977 And so, I was recognizing that, so what I did was I just went to worship. 107 00:11:56,457.14257977 --> 00:12:00,367.14257977 And I allowed just God's presence to overwhelm me. 108 00:12:00,567.14357977 --> 00:12:03,947.14357977 And then I went into just asking God to speak to me. 109 00:12:03,987.14357977 --> 00:12:05,547.14357977 Tell me, God, about myself. 110 00:12:06,377.14357977 --> 00:12:07,957.14357977 And He's going to speak. 111 00:12:07,987.14357977 --> 00:12:11,207.14257977 He's going to be faithful and He's going to speak to you, right? His word says. 112 00:12:11,742.14357977 --> 00:12:13,362.14357977 When we seek we will find. 113 00:12:13,372.14357977 --> 00:12:15,182.14357977 He's going to draw near to you. 114 00:12:15,182.14357977 --> 00:12:16,912.14357977 We draw near to him, he draws near to you. 115 00:12:17,602.14357977 --> 00:12:22,230.50674941 And so literally the other day, I asked the Lord to just speak to me. 116 00:12:22,590.50674941 --> 00:12:24,40.50574941 And he did. 117 00:12:24,60.50574941 --> 00:12:27,670.50674941 And what I thought were going to be words of disappointment. 118 00:12:28,550.50674941 --> 00:12:29,270.50674941 I know now. 119 00:12:29,270.50674941 --> 00:12:39,890.50674941 I mean, I used to really be afraid that God was gonna speak in, in, in a disappointing tone with me, but now I know I, I'm gonna come to him and I'm gonna hear words of love and encouragement, and that's exactly what I received. 120 00:12:40,10.50674941 --> 00:12:41,960.50674941 And so he's gonna tell you about yourself. 121 00:12:41,960.50674941 --> 00:12:54,542.18920602 He's going to label you and what you do, once he gives you a label, once he tells you who you are, you repeatedly go back to the word, this is how we stand on God's word. 122 00:12:54,662.18920602 --> 00:12:59,522.18920602 We don't just hear it and then just forget about it and move on with our day and never revisit it. 123 00:12:59,542.18920602 --> 00:13:04,142.18820602 That is how the word doesn't take root in our heart and then walk it out. 124 00:13:04,512.18920602 --> 00:13:08,721.42788053 So what, who does God say that you are? Go into prayer and ask him. 125 00:13:08,771.42688053 --> 00:13:09,671.42788053 He's gonna tell you. 126 00:13:10,41.42788053 --> 00:13:11,551.42788053 And then start reading that every day. 127 00:13:11,551.42788053 --> 00:13:12,891.42788053 Make that your focus. 128 00:13:13,328.47433936 --> 00:13:18,458.47333936 And this is gonna be how you're gonna identify yourself as who God says that you are. 129 00:13:18,878.74034239 --> 00:13:28,270.44469022 I can stay and major on that all day, but we're going to move to the next, okay? The second thing unhealed trauma does to you is It makes you stay stuck in shame. 130 00:13:29,310.44469022 --> 00:13:31,130.44469022 And I want to define shame really quickly. 131 00:13:31,440.44469022 --> 00:13:36,499.81145501 Shame is this intense feeling that you are unworthy of love, of acceptance. 132 00:13:36,849.81145501 --> 00:13:39,949.81145501 Shame causes you to do more of the same thing. 133 00:13:40,269.81145501 --> 00:13:43,339.81145501 It keeps you stuck in the same toxic cycles. 134 00:13:43,639.81145501 --> 00:13:52,39.81095501 And it keeps you going back to committing the same type of sin which is causing you to be distant from God when you are stuck in the shame. 135 00:13:52,39.81095501 --> 00:13:56,639.81145501 Because when you are in the shame and condemnation, you are believing lies about God. 136 00:13:56,869.81145501 --> 00:14:09,52.70765955 And this is exactly where the enemy wants to keep you because he knows if he can get you, if he can get you stuck in the cycle of shame, you're going to keep doing the things that you're trying to undo, that you have regret doing. 137 00:14:09,350.38143477 --> 00:14:16,450.38243477 Because you are now identifying yourself with the thing that you did, the mistake that you made, versus who God says that you are. 138 00:14:16,703.33813687 --> 00:14:19,245.76424147 The freedom that he's already died for you to have. 139 00:14:20,208.86838991 --> 00:14:29,348.86838991 So when we're living in the shame that the enemy loves us to stay here, it makes you afraid to turn to God and to let him search you. 140 00:14:29,802.20864609 --> 00:14:37,512.20864609 And when we're afraid to let God search us, we have a wrong perception and idea of who God is. 141 00:14:37,562.20864609 --> 00:14:38,382.20864609 Because God is love. 142 00:14:39,312.20964609 --> 00:14:41,152.20964609 He's not, he doesn't want to condemn you. 143 00:14:41,242.20964609 --> 00:14:44,252.20964609 He doesn't want to tell you how disappointed he is in you. 144 00:14:44,252.20964609 --> 00:15:00,232.20964609 If we look at the prodigal son, how did the father, how was the father responding to the prodigal son who just spent his entire inheritance on multiple prostitutes and partying and, and, and so many dark things? Yet the father was not waiting to teach him a lesson when he came back home. 145 00:15:00,332.20964609 --> 00:15:03,342.20964609 He was waiting with open arms and to give him gifts. 146 00:15:03,662.20964609 --> 00:15:05,662.20964609 To, to, to just be with him. 147 00:15:06,412.20964609 --> 00:15:08,82.20864609 To celebrate him coming home. 148 00:15:08,452.20964609 --> 00:15:10,622.20964609 This is the God who we serve. 149 00:15:11,172.20964609 --> 00:15:19,694.56639062 And so, shame robs us of our ability to change, because when we live in shame, it makes us go back to the thing that we're running from. 150 00:15:19,884.56639062 --> 00:15:21,574.56639062 It makes us go back to the sin. 151 00:15:21,844.56639062 --> 00:15:24,114.56639062 And this, again, is exactly what the enemy wants. 152 00:15:24,114.56639062 --> 00:15:25,824.56639062 He wants to keep us in this cycle. 153 00:15:26,139.56639062 --> 00:15:41,259.56539062 That's destructive to make us believe this lie that God doesn't want us and that we aren't worthy of his love That what Jesus done on the cross covers everyone else's sin But not our own that what we did was way too bad that we should have known better That God set us free from that already. 154 00:15:41,399.56639062 --> 00:15:55,296.41357906 Why did we go back to that? You were unworthy like this is lies sister total lies And so the switch here and the solution is we must see that God is a loving God to make us run to him. 155 00:15:55,296.41357906 --> 00:16:00,816.41357906 The Bible actually tells us that, that love is the thing that leads people to repentance. 156 00:16:01,86.41257906 --> 00:16:02,756.41357906 It's not law. 157 00:16:02,926.41357906 --> 00:16:04,976.41257906 It's not telling you what you did wrong. 158 00:16:05,191.41357906 --> 00:16:13,431.41357906 It's love, and God literally is love, so we must know who God is, and the best way to know who God is, is to spend time with him. 159 00:16:13,771.41357906 --> 00:16:17,201.41357906 Easiest way to do that is in his word, in worship, and in prayer. 160 00:16:18,481.10352047 --> 00:16:26,31.10352047 The third thing that unhealed trauma does to us, is it makes us paralyzed with fear. 161 00:16:26,921.10352047 --> 00:16:29,921.10352047 And I've said it before, I'll say it again, fear is so demonic. 162 00:16:30,254.15152317 --> 00:16:38,164.15152317 because when we are living in fear, it makes us, it makes us believe these lies that, like, it really just makes us live small. 163 00:16:38,617.99673801 --> 00:16:50,687.996738 It makes us fear man, it makes us fear the unknown, it makes us fear falling in love, it makes us fear giving love, um, it keeps us in, in a box. 164 00:16:51,408.8629838 --> 00:16:54,98.8629838 And what fear does, it makes us question. 165 00:16:54,698.8629838 --> 00:16:59,178.8629838 Your purpose and your relationship with God and what He's able to do. 166 00:17:00,98.8629838 --> 00:17:03,308.8629838 When you are fearful, you are agreeing with the devil. 167 00:17:03,812.3995815 --> 00:17:04,982.4005815 It's just plain and simple. 168 00:17:04,982.4005815 --> 00:17:07,112.4005815 There's really no, like, better way to say it. 169 00:17:07,132.4005815 --> 00:17:18,57.4005815 And this was something that I, once I learned this, it actually, like, it helps me whenever I do try to, when I do find myself Like falling or flirting with being fearful. 170 00:17:18,307.4005815 --> 00:17:20,57.4005815 It's like, you know what, listen, this is not of God. 171 00:17:20,57.4005815 --> 00:17:21,837.4005815 And I can be confident that it's not of God. 172 00:17:22,27.4005815 --> 00:17:24,817.4005815 Because God is not, He doesn't want me to live in fear. 173 00:17:25,274.783394 --> 00:17:34,64.783394 So, because I am a child of God, And I do not want to identify with anything that is not of God, I do not have to identify with fear. 174 00:17:34,466.369564 --> 00:17:47,846.369564 I'm sure you're very acquainted with, with being fearful, right? You understand we've all experienced massive fear before that has kept us from stepping out in faith, right? It makes us question ourselves. 175 00:17:47,846.369564 --> 00:17:51,466.369564 It makes us doubt and it makes us stay stuck and paralyzes us. 176 00:17:51,796.369564 --> 00:17:55,316.368564 It keeps us from doing what God has called us to do. 177 00:17:55,884.7099342 --> 00:18:02,924.7099342 And the difference, like, the type of fear that I'm talking about that's demonic is not the fear that is a healthy fear. 178 00:18:03,144.7099342 --> 00:18:07,634.7099342 Right? A healthy fear is time bound and it has limits. 179 00:18:08,504.7099342 --> 00:18:11,714.7099342 The unhealthy fear is the paralyzing one. 180 00:18:12,514.7099342 --> 00:18:18,934.7099342 Right? Like, the easiest example is We have a fear of touching the hot stove because we know it's gonna, it's gonna burn us. 181 00:18:19,284.7099342 --> 00:18:20,384.7099342 That is a healthy fear. 182 00:18:20,404.7099342 --> 00:18:22,344.7099342 It has its limits and it's time bound. 183 00:18:22,575.5789819 --> 00:18:27,975.5789819 Okay, the paralyzing fear is when you are thinking the worst is about to happen. 184 00:18:27,975.5789819 --> 00:18:29,595.5779819 You have a fear of the unknown. 185 00:18:29,825.5789819 --> 00:18:30,685.5789819 That doesn't have limits. 186 00:18:30,685.6789819 --> 00:18:31,585.5779819 It's not time bound. 187 00:18:31,765.5789819 --> 00:18:32,875.5789819 You have a fear of failure. 188 00:18:33,45.5789819 --> 00:18:34,175.5789819 That doesn't have limits. 189 00:18:34,175.5789819 --> 00:18:35,295.5789819 That is not time bound. 190 00:18:35,295.5789819 --> 00:18:36,335.5779819 You cannot measure that. 191 00:18:36,535.5789819 --> 00:18:40,35.5789819 The fear of being judged, this does not, it's not time bound. 192 00:18:40,35.5789819 --> 00:18:41,355.5789819 It has, it doesn't have limits. 193 00:18:41,375.5789819 --> 00:18:42,555.5789819 It is ongoing. 194 00:18:43,95.5789819 --> 00:18:47,405.5789819 Okay, that's how you can differentiate a healthy fear and an unhealthy fear. 195 00:18:48,94.6684898 --> 00:18:57,684.6684898 And so this undealt with fear, right, if you're not addressing it, if you don't know that it's not something that you have to live with, you're going to continue falling back into it. 196 00:18:58,24.6684898 --> 00:19:07,214.6684898 And so when you have this undealt fear in your heart due to past trauma, it can make you have this overwhelming urge to control things. 197 00:19:07,868.3773811 --> 00:19:16,549.1138267 And we all know that when we open the door to having the spirit of control overtake us, it is not, it stems from pride. 198 00:19:17,269.1138267 --> 00:19:21,401.0028312 Right? Fear, pride, control, that's all not of God. 199 00:19:22,461.0028312 --> 00:19:33,231.0028312 Okay? And when we lean into those things, and I spent years, years in pride and wanting to control everything because I was afraid of not having control and things being chaotic. 200 00:19:33,934.7777802 --> 00:19:39,4.7777802 But when we are in this spirit of control, it's not leaving room for God to do his mighty work. 201 00:19:39,234.7777802 --> 00:19:43,934.7777802 Therefore, we become our own God, and this is exactly what the enemy wants. 202 00:19:43,964.7767802 --> 00:19:52,284.7777802 Because if we make ourself our source, if we rely on ourself, we are not going to walk in the fullness of what God has for us. 203 00:19:52,799.7777802 --> 00:19:59,539.7777802 Because to walk in the fullness of what God has for us, it is going to require a radical obedience from us. 204 00:19:59,539.8777802 --> 00:20:01,689.7777802 It's going to require a full surrender. 205 00:20:02,99.7777802 --> 00:20:09,479.7777802 It's going to require us to be fully devoted to the Lord and to say yes to Him and no to our flesh. 206 00:20:09,675.3433477 --> 00:20:14,775.3433477 And this is exactly where the enemy wants us to live because he doesn't want to see you walk out your call. 207 00:20:15,435.3433477 --> 00:20:20,265.3423477 Like, I'm already accepting the fact that my plans are nothing compared to what God has. 208 00:20:20,585.3433477 --> 00:20:27,985.3433477 And I have to continue reminding myself, like, hey, my, my, what I have to do is I just have to take one step forward. 209 00:20:28,115.3433477 --> 00:20:29,585.3433477 One step forward. 210 00:20:29,735.3433477 --> 00:20:33,945.3433477 I got to, I have to lean on the Lord because He may shift things and I have to be okay with it. 211 00:20:34,602.8502002 --> 00:20:35,972.8502002 Because his plans are greater. 212 00:20:36,661.4703921 --> 00:20:47,938.5381195 And if we look at all the people that did huge things, I mean, Noah's the first one that comes to mind, like, He's probably, I probably would have looked at Noah back then and been like, That guy's, that guy's loony. 213 00:20:48,288.5381195 --> 00:20:55,643.6795784 What is he doing? Like, what the heck? But that's because he, he was, he was, leaning on the Lord and standing in faith. 214 00:20:56,272.5969331 --> 00:20:59,672.5969331 Right? He wasn't paralyzed with fear of what people were going to say about him. 215 00:21:00,422.5969331 --> 00:21:02,52.5969331 He was being pushed forward. 216 00:21:02,492.5969331 --> 00:21:05,572.5969331 And this is, this is the life that God wants us all to live. 217 00:21:06,212.5959331 --> 00:21:10,622.5969331 Because he wants to, he wants to do something in you and through you. 218 00:21:11,231.3797305 --> 00:21:24,55.9264493 And so, how you really release fear from your life It's, it's about releasing this control because this is a lot of the times what this unhealthy fear is linked to. 219 00:21:24,908.7453132 --> 00:21:30,488.7443132 So you must release this control to the Holy Spirit of all things. 220 00:21:30,888.7453132 --> 00:21:34,698.7463132 Know that love is the opposite of fear, it's actually not faith. 221 00:21:35,532.7211594 --> 00:21:38,292.7211594 Love is what drives fear away. 222 00:21:38,762.7211594 --> 00:21:47,258.9645415 Because if you can know that you are fully and wholeheartedly loved by God, you are protected. 223 00:21:48,57.2885508 --> 00:21:50,327.2875508 Your steps are anointed. 224 00:21:50,567.2875508 --> 00:21:52,777.2875508 You can fully embrace the promises of God. 225 00:21:53,509.0028956 --> 00:22:00,89.0028956 That you are called, you are chosen, you are protected, no, no hair on your head can, can be harmed. 226 00:22:00,491.8150169 --> 00:22:09,211.8150169 Fear literally, based on God's word that is permanent and true forever and ever, fear has to go when we know the characteristics of God. 227 00:22:10,734.4949038 --> 00:22:11,434.4949038 It has to. 228 00:22:12,405.9140083 --> 00:22:19,15.9130083 And so the remedy of fear is just really learning who God is, the characteristics of him. 229 00:22:20,13.437048 --> 00:22:26,863.437048 And I think the best way to do that is reading the Gospels, we see the life of Jesus and we can know God's heart through that. 230 00:22:27,242.6979176 --> 00:22:37,101.2788184 Now the fourth and final thing that unhealed trauma does is it invites the enemy to attack you, right? They are these open doors. 231 00:22:37,651.2788184 --> 00:22:52,741.2788184 And these open doors look like pride, looks like the spirit of mammon, aka the love of money and possessions, um, shame, rejection, abuse, impurity, fear, and unforgiveness. 232 00:22:53,690.9773957 --> 00:22:58,420.9773957 And like I said at the very beginning of this episode, the devil studies you. 233 00:22:58,430.9773957 --> 00:23:08,450.9763957 He knows exactly what went on in your past, he knows what you've walked through, and he wants to stab you there over and over and over again in the areas that hurt the most. 234 00:23:08,790.9763957 --> 00:23:12,130.9773957 Because he, he wants, he wants to make you fall, that's his goal. 235 00:23:12,130.9773957 --> 00:23:26,746.7343881 Why would he go for, why would he not go for the headshot? He's going to feed your mind with the cycles of fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and the future because he doesn't want you to walk in the call God has over your life. 236 00:23:26,756.7353881 --> 00:23:34,386.7353881 He wants to keep you bitter, he wants to keep you angry and resentful so you don't experience the full healing that God has for you. 237 00:23:34,657.2462315 --> 00:23:43,455.6213996 Because if he can keep you stuck in this cycle, you, he can, he can keep you from experiencing the full freedom that God wants to give you here on earth. 238 00:23:44,140.215106 --> 00:23:46,780.216106 So we must close these doors. 239 00:23:47,200.215106 --> 00:23:52,880.215106 Okay? We have to recognize what are the beliefs and the lies that are holding us back that we believe. 240 00:23:53,635.215106 --> 00:24:10,55.215106 Where are you in agreement with the enemy? Do you have undealt with fear? Do you have pride in your life? Do you have shame? Do you have, um, um, impurity in your life? Do you have unforgiveness? These are all open doors that are truly inviting the enemy to come in and to continue to mess with you. 241 00:24:10,705.214106 --> 00:24:14,65.215106 So you have to first recognize where you're in agreement with the enemy. 242 00:24:14,441.0804689 --> 00:24:19,191.0804689 And then after you recognize, step number two, you want to repent, renounce, and rebuke. 243 00:24:19,511.0804689 --> 00:24:23,21.0804689 So you want to repent and do that 180 turn. 244 00:24:23,21.1804689 --> 00:24:25,521.0794689 Turn from unforgiveness to forgiveness. 245 00:24:25,541.0804689 --> 00:24:28,371.0804689 Turn from pride to humility and surrender. 246 00:24:28,871.0804689 --> 00:24:36,281.0804689 Do that 180 turn, repent, and then renounce the lies that you've believed, and then rebuke the enemy at work in your life. 247 00:24:36,571.0804689 --> 00:24:41,911.5188865 This can sound something like God, I come to you with an honest heart. 248 00:24:41,911.5188865 --> 00:24:51,411.5178865 I acknowledge that I have been walking in pride and I confess that there have been times when I've trusted in my own strength and wisdom and understanding instead of fully depending on you. 249 00:24:51,471.5188865 --> 00:24:56,831.5188865 I've allowed arrogance, self righteousness, and fear to take control of my life. 250 00:24:57,41.5178865 --> 00:24:58,371.5188865 And I repent of that, God. 251 00:24:58,851.5188865 --> 00:25:25,568.7645417 Um, then moving into renouncing, It can be like right now, in the name of Jesus, I renounce the spirit of pride, I break every agreement that I've made, knowing or unknowingly, with self sufficiency, with control, with rebellion, with, uh, arrogance, and I reject every single lie that says I have to prove my worth, earn love, or exalt myself to be seen and valued. 252 00:25:26,183.7645417 --> 00:25:28,863.7645417 Whatever, insert whatever it is that you're struggling with there. 253 00:25:29,173.7645417 --> 00:25:39,723.7635417 And then rebuking, I rebuke the enemy in every single plan that he has over my life or my bloodline that he has used pride to keep me distant from you and ineffective in your work. 254 00:25:39,753.7635417 --> 00:25:48,733.7645417 I cancel every single foothold that he's tried to gain through my pride and I declare that he has no power or authority over my life any longer. 255 00:25:49,603.7645417 --> 00:25:51,63.7645417 So that takes you through those three R's. 256 00:25:51,668.7645417 --> 00:25:56,198.7645417 And then the third thing that you want to do here is you want to know and declare truth. 257 00:25:56,548.7645417 --> 00:26:09,244.4434423 And so this is one of my favorite things, right? Making these new declarations over your life, so you not only want to, release and to clean out the temple in your heart, you want to fill it back up with something. 258 00:26:09,244.4444423 --> 00:26:11,724.4444423 You want to fill it back up with the truth. 259 00:26:11,996.8074648 --> 00:26:18,746.8084648 So this is where you're going to go to scripture that you can lean on and stand on in the thing that you just rebuked. 260 00:26:19,306.8084648 --> 00:26:29,676.8074648 And if you want a list of declarations, I have them for pride, for shame, for rejection, abuse, fear, everything in my free community, The Healing Circle. 261 00:26:29,926.8074648 --> 00:26:35,556.8084648 So if you want that list of declarations, come join in The Healing Circle and you can find it in resources. 262 00:26:35,786.8084648 --> 00:26:37,506.8074648 And you can join at WOP. 263 00:26:37,926.8074648 --> 00:26:45,806.8074648 com Forward slash The Healing Circle, that's w h o p dot com forward slash The Healing Circle. 264 00:26:46,56.8789316 --> 00:26:50,496.8789316 Going over those four reasons why unhealed trauma is literally the devil's playground. 265 00:26:50,526.8789316 --> 00:27:04,636.8789316 Once again, the first one being the unhealed wounds is what is distancing you from God because going through abuse distorts your self worth and you have this inability to see your value or to be loved by God. 266 00:27:05,86.8789316 --> 00:27:23,845.7268426 The second thing it does, it keeps you stuck in shame, which when you're in this cycle of shame, it causes you to go back to your past and to embody this, this identity of this person who is addicted, who is unworthy, who is unlovable, who is, not talented. 267 00:27:23,895.7268426 --> 00:27:29,545.7268426 The shame of your past mistakes keep you stuck in this old identity that you're trying to break free from. 268 00:27:29,855.7268426 --> 00:27:34,725.7258426 And the third thing that unhealed trauma does, it makes you paralyzed with fear. 269 00:27:35,335.7268426 --> 00:27:44,815.7268426 And the enemy wants to keep you in the state of fear because it's going to keep you from moving into all that God has for you because moving into all that God has for you is going to require faith. 270 00:27:45,255.3035472 --> 00:27:58,60.0147547 And then finally, the enemy is going to use all these unhealed wounds and the results of those wounds, those are all open doors for him to be invited in and to create chaos in your, in your inner life and your external one. 271 00:27:58,382.956059 --> 00:28:11,452.355059 And this is why it is so imperative to really focus in on your healing journey, let God into these parts of you, and to do those three steps of recognizing, repenting, renouncing, rebuking, and then knowing and declaring truth. 272 00:28:11,922.355059 --> 00:28:14,12.355059 I pray that this episode blessed you. 273 00:28:14,122.355059 --> 00:28:17,512.355059 Come on over to the free community where you can download those declarations. 274 00:28:17,542.355059 --> 00:28:22,362.355059 They're so powerful, and I'll see you back here same time, same place next week. 275 00:28:22,632.355059 --> 00:28:23,252.355059 Love you. 276 00:28:23,302.355059 --> 00:28:23,722.355059 Bye. 277 00:28:23,934.1010443 --> 00:28:24,824.1010443 Hey, beautiful. 278 00:28:24,864.1010443 --> 00:28:28,434.1010443 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 279 00:28:28,734.1010443 --> 00:28:42,864.1010443 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 280 00:28:42,864.1010443 --> 00:28:48,264.1010443 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 281 00:28:48,539.1010443 --> 00:28:53,919.1010443 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 282 00:28:53,989.1010443 --> 00:28:54,409.1010443 Okay. 283 00:28:54,509.1010443 --> 00:28:57,79.1010443 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 284 00:28:57,239.1010443 --> 00:29:03,209.1010443 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
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