87 | Tired of Hating Your Reflection? How to Heal Your Body Image with Brittany Braswell

Hi beautiful! ♥️

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like what you see just… isn’t enough? Maybe you pick apart your reflection, compare yourself to other women, or wonder if your body is why you weren’t loved the way you deserved.

Listen, I know how heavy that can feel—because I’ve been there, too. But here’s the truth: your worth has NOTHING to do with your weight, your shape, or how you look.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into the real reason body image struggles hit so hard, how toxic relationships can mess with the way you see yourself, and what God actually says about your beauty and worth.

So, grab your journal and let’s get real. We’re not just talking about self-love — we’re getting to the root of this, so you can finally see yourself the way God sees you: loved, chosen, and enough.

Brittany’s insights blew my mind, and I know they’re going to bless you too! Xo, Dani

 

JOIN THE COMMUNITY: https://whop.com/thehealingcircle/

DOWNLOAD THE BODY IMAGE CHEAT SHEET: https://www.brittanybraswellrd.com/bodyimagegift (code: PODCASTGIFT)

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello, beautiful.

(00:01):
.999You're in for a special treat today because we have a brand new type of conversation happening on the show today.
I'm accompanied by my sweet friend, Brittany, who is a registered non diet dietitian.
.999Love that.
A nutritionist who has a passion for helping women who are struggling with food and body image issues.

(00:23):
If you struggle with having anxiety or any disordered behaviors when it comes to eating, This is the girl to listen to.
She also has a top 2 percent globally rated podcast called The Faith Filled Food Freedom.
So totally check her out after you hear our conversation today. 9 00:00:40,530.013013592 --> 00:00:55,763.272130852 I really appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed our conversation because she just brought so much new perspective to my mind in regards to this topic of, of body image and food freedom, which are things that I haven't really taken time to think about. 10 00:00:56,23.271130852 --> 00:01:04,957.910131824 And so I know it's going to bless the girl who really needs this message and who is striving to have more body positivity and wanting to love herself again. 11 00:01:05,227.909131824 --> 00:01:06,457.910131824 And trust me when I say it's. 12 00:01:06,547.910131824 --> 00:01:09,847.910131824 It's not what you think it's going to be. 13 00:01:10,203.841161836 --> 00:01:17,839.885391405 Brittany's very much a no fluff type of coach and you're definitely going to leave with tangible things that you can start applying to your life starting today. 14 00:01:18,182.029016943 --> 00:01:20,160.984348191 you definitely want to grab your journal for this one. 15 00:01:20,220.984348191 --> 00:01:21,230.984348191 Let's get to it. 16 00:01:21,491.04887542 --> 00:01:22,691.04887542 Hey, beautiful. 17 00:01:22,731.04887542 --> 00:01:26,531.04887542 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 18 00:01:26,651.04887542 --> 00:01:49,351.04887542 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 19 00:01:49,401.04787542 --> 00:01:50,941.04787542 Well, sis, you're not alone. 20 00:01:51,11.04887542 --> 00:01:52,141.04887542 I've been there, too. 21 00:01:52,251.04887542 --> 00:01:59,421.04887542 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 22 00:01:59,541.04887542 --> 00:02:05,211.04887542 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 23 00:02:05,251.04887542 --> 00:02:10,681.04887542 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 24 00:02:10,721.04887542 --> 00:02:16,251.04887542 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 25 00:02:16,416.04887542 --> 00:02:31,596.04887542 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 26 00:02:31,736.04787542 --> 00:02:34,706.04887542 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 27 00:02:34,836.04887542 --> 00:02:40,856.04887542 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 28 00:02:41,392.97313397 --> 00:02:59,552.97313397 Hey sister, if you've been listening to this podcast and you are craving a deeper community of women who, I mean, just get it, women who are walking through their healing journey with Christ and doing the hard work so they never settle again, you need to come join the free community, the healing circle. 29 00:02:59,962.97313397 --> 00:03:06,72.97313397 This is where we take everything we talk about here and go even deeper and to do weekly challenges together. 30 00:03:06,72.97313397 --> 00:03:12,2.97213397 So that way you're actually not just consuming, but you're putting the things into practice. 31 00:03:12,32.97313397 --> 00:03:15,32.97313397 And that is where healing actually takes place. 32 00:03:15,619.29004402 --> 00:03:28,499.29004402 This is a safe space for you to get support, encouragement and just real conversations with women who are committed to healing and growing and a fully moving into their God given identity and purpose. 33 00:03:28,926.01735856 --> 00:03:34,36.01735856 plus, of course, I'm in there, too, popping in every single week to answer your questions that you have. 34 00:03:34,286.01735856 --> 00:03:38,766.25948564 You do not have to do this healing thing alone, sister, Let's walk through it together. 35 00:03:38,786.25948564 --> 00:03:46,106.25848564 If you're ready to feel seen, supported, and challenged in the best way, go ahead and go to WOP. 36 00:03:46,496.25848564 --> 00:03:48,936.25948564 com forward slash The Healing Circle. 37 00:03:49,166.25948564 --> 00:03:55,286.25948564 That's WOP, W H O P dot com slash The Healing Circle. 38 00:03:55,518.76862184 --> 00:03:56,778.76862184 I can't wait to see you in there. 39 00:03:57,467.02016898 --> 00:04:26,412.02016898 It has been a long time coming, bringing both of us together and kind of, like, bringing her expertise to for you guys to hear from her, because I have yet done An episode about body image, and I was talking to Brittany before, I've heard a lot of women reach out to me about them hating themselves, hating what they look like, hating what they see in the mirror, um, and it hinders them in their dating life and just in the relationship. 40 00:04:26,747.02016898 --> 00:04:52,768.04801945 Their, their relationships and, and confidence in general, and I just really believe that Britney and her background and just her heart and mission, is going to set you free from um, this self hate that, that I believe that you're stuck in, if you resonate with that, if you feel like you're looking in the mirror and you're just hating what you, what you see, you're picking yourself apart, you don't see the beauty that God put in you. 41 00:04:53,148.04801945 --> 00:04:54,958.04801945 This is going to be the episode for you. 42 00:04:54,998.04801945 --> 00:04:57,608.04801945 So Brittany, welcome to the show. 43 00:04:57,608.04801945 --> 00:04:58,988.04801945 I'm so excited to have you. 44 00:04:59,608.04801945 --> 00:05:00,488.04801945 Thank you, Dani. 45 00:05:00,488.04801945 --> 00:05:06,548.04701945 I'm really excited to have this conversation because I feel like it has just not had enough, especially among Christian women. 46 00:05:06,708.04801945 --> 00:05:09,748.04701945 We try to soften it or feel like we can't talk about it. 47 00:05:09,748.04701945 --> 00:05:13,238.04801945 So I'm excited to have a bold conversation about it today. 48 00:05:13,778.04801945 --> 00:05:14,628.04801945 Let's freaking go. 49 00:05:14,638.04801945 --> 00:05:16,698.04801945 You're the perfect person for this. 50 00:05:17,198.04801945 --> 00:05:18,588.04801945 So we're just going to jump right in. 51 00:05:18,608.04801945 --> 00:05:20,678.04801945 I am very curious. 52 00:05:20,734.59125053 --> 00:05:28,584.59125053 Where did your passion for, body image and being a body image coach come from? I want to hear a little bit about that. 53 00:05:28,594.59125053 --> 00:05:29,414.59125053 Oh, yeah. 54 00:05:29,732.76078077 --> 00:05:38,242.76078077 Gosh, well, the Reader's Digest version is, um, I started off, I eventually switched to nutrition in college. 55 00:05:38,252.76078077 --> 00:05:40,832.75978077 Started off still kind of in the science, healthcare field. 56 00:05:41,272.75978077 --> 00:05:49,631.60017596 Um, and so as I was getting my degree in nutrition, I started seeing, I was raised in a home where, like, food and body was very, you neutral. 57 00:05:49,641.60017596 --> 00:05:50,381.60017596 Praise Jesus. 58 00:05:50,731.60017596 --> 00:05:52,101.60017596 My mom dieted a lot. 59 00:05:52,101.60017596 --> 00:05:57,181.60017596 So I would hear about dieting and losing weight, but I was never put under the pressure to do so. 60 00:05:57,631.60017596 --> 00:06:09,941.60017596 And it wasn't really until I got to college that I started hearing so much conversation as a nutrition major about what your body needs to look like and how you should eat and these foods are good or bad. 61 00:06:10,71.60017596 --> 00:06:13,826.9462909 And it wasn't all coming from my classes, but so many of the. 62 00:06:14,146.9462909 --> 00:06:19,996.9462909 Girls and guys that I was in school with we were feeling all this pressure to like, okay, if you're going to be a dietitian, you got to eat this way. 63 00:06:19,996.9462909 --> 00:06:21,166.9462909 You got to look this way. 64 00:06:21,506.9462909 --> 00:06:27,777.88351168 Um, we would hear that, I don't even know what people would say, colloquialism, whatever, where they're like, you know, your body is your business card. 65 00:06:27,777.88351168 --> 00:06:30,697.88301168 And those kinds of things would just start sticking with me. 66 00:06:30,807.88501168 --> 00:06:33,927.88401168 Like as a dietitian, you got to get this particular mold. 67 00:06:34,557.88401168 --> 00:06:36,187.88401168 And so they're just starting becoming. 68 00:06:36,533.85140298 --> 00:06:54,403.85040298 All this pressure and the time I had, I didn't realize how much it was impacting the way that I saw food and my body and so kind of fast forward, I end up in grad school, really starting to study eating disorders and I started realizing, Oh, my goodness, like. 69 00:06:54,943.85140298 --> 00:07:13,553.85040298 This information I've been learning and the way I'm presenting it is not only messing with my view of my food and my body, but all of these women that I'm like, had this genuine desire to help improve their health, but I was over prioritizing physical health and really screwing people's mental health up in the process. 70 00:07:13,823.85040298 --> 00:07:15,543.85040298 So once you start. 71 00:07:15,773.85140298 --> 00:07:17,743.85140298 knowing better, you got to do better. 72 00:07:17,953.85140298 --> 00:07:29,463.85140298 Um, and so I really studied into eating disorders, body image, uh, healed some things with the Lord with me, uh, had to work on a lot of control issues and a lot of surrender. 73 00:07:30,223.85140298 --> 00:07:39,383.85140298 Um, and kind of got me into this place where I started working exclusively with women, uh, with disordered eating and negative body image and have just been. 74 00:07:39,908.85140298 --> 00:08:01,602.74527231 Totally in love and obsessed with having this opportunity as a point of ministry and seeing all the things that become possible Especially like for you guys that are listening like how much your body image impacts your relationships is insane and so The more and more I study and learn and all these extra layers of freedom, you know, coming. 75 00:08:01,602.74527231 --> 00:08:03,892.83072395 I'm like, you can probably hear it in my voice. 76 00:08:03,892.83072395 --> 00:08:05,892.83072395 I get excited and passionate about talking about it. 77 00:08:06,762.82972395 --> 00:08:15,782.82972395 The music just makes such a huge difference in women's lives when they, like, their scales kind of fall off and they get those light bulb moments and they go, Oh my gosh, I don't have to hate my body. 78 00:08:15,982.82972395 --> 00:08:17,192.83072395 Like this isn't just normal. 79 00:08:17,192.83072395 --> 00:08:20,32.83072395 Every woman doesn't just like wish she looked different. 80 00:08:20,372.83072395 --> 00:08:22,462.83072395 So that's, I love it. 81 00:08:22,492.83072395 --> 00:08:22,882.83072395 I love it. 82 00:08:23,367.83072395 --> 00:08:33,317.83072395 No, this is so beautiful and it is like a ministry and it is a gift because not, like, not everybody's passionate about this specific thing and I can hear the passion that you have in it. 83 00:08:33,717.83072395 --> 00:08:50,253.94404923 Um, and it, it's so crazy that something that seems like it is a positive, right, like we're prioritizing our health and wanting to, you know, get to a certain goal, it can, it can really take a toll on our mental if we don't have the right perspective or intention behind it. 84 00:08:50,643.94404923 --> 00:08:50,953.94404923 100%. 85 00:08:52,118.94404923 --> 00:09:12,622.87594489 What would you say, I know you've worked with a lot of different women, what would you say is the cause of women, looking in the mirror and hating what they see, like, what gets them there? You know what, I, when you really get to the root of this, Dani, it really comes back to, the struggle is not around our looks, it's around our beliefs. 86 00:09:13,127.87594489 --> 00:09:15,777.87594489 And how our beliefs impact the way that we see ourselves. 87 00:09:15,777.87594489 --> 00:09:26,487.87594489 And so, I mean, we're born into this culture, um, this environment that really prioritizes diet culture and a lot of the messages that say you need to look a certain way. 88 00:09:26,657.87494489 --> 00:09:36,987.87594489 Even from as I was, I've been in this field, the longer I look back and the more I have young kids, I have a one year old, a five year old and a seven year old and my five year old loves Disney. 89 00:09:37,17.87594489 --> 00:09:38,347.87594489 She loves all the princesses. 90 00:09:38,937.87594489 --> 00:09:40,107.87594489 But as an adult. 91 00:09:40,282.87594489 --> 00:09:51,852.87594489 Doing what I'm doing now, when you watch a Disney movie, like from a young age, you notice like there's this certain type of look and aesthetic that the Disney princesses have and the heroes. 92 00:09:51,872.87494489 --> 00:09:54,262.87594489 And then there's a whole nother look to the villains. 93 00:09:54,832.87594489 --> 00:10:07,2.87594489 And it's like, we, we don't realize from an early age, we're started, we get inundated with this message that like good or successful or whatever it is, like, this is what you need to strive for. 94 00:10:07,596.29608099 --> 00:10:13,125.54802772 Is a particular and it's absolutely it is absolutely untrue. 95 00:10:13,165.54802772 --> 00:10:17,588.01593218 And so we're just inundated that with that from a super young age. 96 00:10:17,618.01593218 --> 00:10:18,978.01593218 And so we're conditioned to go. 97 00:10:19,28.01593218 --> 00:10:20,968.01593218 Oh, if I don't look like that, then my body's. 98 00:10:21,333.01593218 --> 00:10:26,313.01593218 You know, bad or wrong or it needs to be fixed, right? I hear that word all the time. 99 00:10:26,313.01593218 --> 00:10:27,273.01593218 I just need to fix this. 100 00:10:27,333.01593218 --> 00:10:39,723.01593218 Or when I lose X amount of weight or I can fit into, you know, size whatever of my jeans, then I'll feel more confident and then I'll feel comfortable and then I'll be more accepted and loved and all the things. 101 00:10:39,763.01493218 --> 00:10:40,977.91593218 And it just. 102 00:10:41,408.01593218 --> 00:11:04,578.01493218 It starts from that early, early age, and it can vary, obviously, between who were, who were you in a home with? How did they speak about their own body? What messages are you hearing from them and from other people? So, unfortunately, the short answer for this is we live in a, in a broken world, um, with a broken view of what our bodies are meant to be and where are worth. 103 00:11:05,173.01593218 --> 00:11:07,724.78683786 It comes from and doesn't come from that's so good. 104 00:11:07,724.78683786 --> 00:11:11,904.78683786 And I wasn't even expecting that answer, but it makes complete sense. 105 00:11:11,904.78683786 --> 00:11:14,794.78683786 Like you, it comes down to the beliefs that you have. 106 00:11:14,794.78683786 --> 00:11:31,428.62097086 And those have been developed over time from the things that we've watched, the people that were around, and it's like the, this, this pressure to look a certain way or to be a certain way and if we're not that, then we're, there's something wrong with us. 107 00:11:31,548.62097086 --> 00:11:31,898.62097086 Like. 108 00:11:31,908.62097086 --> 00:11:32,148.62097086 Yeah. 109 00:11:32,198.62097086 --> 00:11:34,348.62097086 And we're not beautiful in our own way. 110 00:11:34,358.62097086 --> 00:11:34,728.62097086 Like. 111 00:11:34,748.62097086 --> 00:11:36,48.61997086 We don't even believe that. 112 00:11:36,858.62197086 --> 00:11:37,478.62197086 Um. 113 00:11:37,898.62097086 --> 00:11:39,68.62097086 That's so powerful. 114 00:11:39,88.62097086 --> 00:11:45,278.52097086 So what would you say, like, starting to deconstruct these beliefs? Like. 115 00:11:45,680.17714931 --> 00:12:21,567.91855904 how would you recommend somebody to start, to start tackling that? Yeah, that's, that's such a good question because, um, that was one of the questions I would really start hearing from science and from friends and from all these people like, well, where do you even start work on your body image? Um, and so the place that I start with all of my science, regardless of where they feel like they are in the process, is Just this concept of core beliefs, and a core belief is essentially definition that I use is something that you believe to be 100 percent true, 100 percent of the time. 116 00:12:21,969.86356754 --> 00:12:29,159.86356754 Doesn't matter if your feelings align with it, it doesn't matter if you say like, logically, I know that's not true, or the Bible I know says that's not true. 117 00:12:29,799.86356754 --> 00:12:43,854.86356754 Okay, that's good that you're aware of that, but are you believing it to be true despite that? Um, and so we start there, and It's really important to get outside of the box or the bubble of what do I believe about my body. 118 00:12:44,367.53368977 --> 00:12:49,337.53368977 We want to get there, but you can't only focus on that because you're going to miss all these other things. 119 00:12:49,587.53368977 --> 00:12:51,337.53368977 You guys talk a lot about trauma. 120 00:12:51,777.53268977 --> 00:12:54,117.53368977 Um, you talk a lot about relationships. 121 00:12:54,217.53368977 --> 00:12:57,527.53268977 We've got to look at core beliefs in all these different areas of our lives. 122 00:12:57,567.53368977 --> 00:13:00,187.53368977 We've got to look at what do we believe to be true about relationships. 123 00:13:00,822.53368977 --> 00:13:01,442.53368977 Break it down. 124 00:13:01,442.53368977 --> 00:13:16,83.96256535 What do we believe to be true about, you know, our family or about, um, dating relationships or like spousal relationships? you know, what do I believe about my faith or about the world or politics like brain dump all these areas. 125 00:13:16,873.96256535 --> 00:13:20,903.96256535 And once you have, and this is something that I tell my clients, this is like a. 126 00:13:21,458.96256535 --> 00:13:30,817.69988768 A working document because you're going to notice the more you do the work, the more beliefs come up and it's amazing to see all the different kinds of beliefs that end up impacting. 127 00:13:31,247.70088768 --> 00:13:36,857.70088768 The way that you see yourself or your body or the way that you care for or withhold care. 128 00:13:37,367.70088768 --> 00:13:47,463.09252011 So, I'm trying to think like a random example, like I had a client that had a belief about how he needed to, you know, get A's in school that like, like perfection and striving. 129 00:13:47,463.09252011 --> 00:13:51,853.09352011 Like, if you're not constantly working hard and doing your best, then it's not good enough. 130 00:13:52,353.09352011 --> 00:13:56,663.09352011 And it was so interesting to see the more we work together and the more conversations we had. 131 00:13:56,858.09352011 --> 00:14:03,888.09352011 How that really impacted her body image because she felt like, well, I have to work and I have to strive to earn a particular body. 132 00:14:04,168.09352011 --> 00:14:13,626.49855912 And when my parents said, hey, you're lazy if you don't work hard at school, she translated that into, well, because I have energy, I should be moving my body. 133 00:14:13,956.49955912 --> 00:14:15,616.49955912 If I rest, that's lazy. 134 00:14:16,46.49855912 --> 00:14:21,136.49955912 And so all of these things translated to not just how she cared for her body, but how she saw it. 135 00:14:21,476.49955912 --> 00:14:22,46.49955912 So. 136 00:14:22,706.49955912 --> 00:14:25,226.49955912 That, that is hard work to do. 137 00:14:25,236.49955912 --> 00:14:43,241.39955912 I don't necessarily recommend doing it all by yourself, but to at least get started and just go, what are the things that I just believe to be true 100 percent of the time? Just start asking the Lord, like, that's a great question to take to the Lord in your quiet time and just be like, Hey God, reveal to me how these beliefs. 138 00:14:43,621.49955912 --> 00:14:48,11.49955912 Might be impacting the way that I see my body or the way that I care for it. 139 00:14:48,381.49955912 --> 00:14:50,11.49955912 Yeah, girl, so good. 140 00:14:50,11.49955912 --> 00:14:52,31.49955912 And you just blessed me because I resonate with that. 141 00:14:52,61.49955912 --> 00:15:13,76.49955912 I resonate with that client because the same exact thing and now I'm thinking I'm like, wow, that is relating that and I've noticed that that how that relates to my Relationship if it is not if there's conflict in the relationship I feel so much angst and it's because of this perfectionism tendency that I had picked up Because of what was expected of me as a child. 142 00:15:13,746.49955912 --> 00:15:14,66.49955912 Yeah. 143 00:15:14,66.49955912 --> 00:15:15,956.49955912 It's, it's all, it's all related. 144 00:15:15,966.49955912 --> 00:15:16,526.49955912 It's all related. 145 00:15:16,536.49955912 --> 00:15:16,796.49955912 It is. 146 00:15:17,496.49955912 --> 00:15:18,936.49855912 Everything like lives together. 147 00:15:18,936.49955912 --> 00:15:24,196.49955912 So, and, and you gotta be careful with this because you don't wanna make something that's not related actually related. 148 00:15:24,206.49955912 --> 00:15:27,336.49955912 You wanna try to like make connections that aren't there, but. 149 00:15:28,376.49955912 --> 00:15:31,216.49955912 You'd be surprised with, hey, this thing seems totally random. 150 00:15:31,986.49955912 --> 00:15:34,336.49955912 Oh, but I do see how it's impacted this. 151 00:15:34,346.49955912 --> 00:15:36,516.49955912 So it's a really good exercise to get you started. 152 00:15:37,106.49955912 --> 00:15:37,646.49955912 I love that. 153 00:15:37,656.49955912 --> 00:15:38,566.49955912 Thank you for sharing that. 154 00:15:38,866.49955912 --> 00:15:40,536.49955912 And I have this random question come up. 155 00:15:40,536.49955912 --> 00:15:44,746.49955912 I'm just curious of your, your perspective on it. 156 00:15:44,976.49855912 --> 00:15:50,726.49855912 You know, that quote that they say, how you do, how you do anything is how you do everything. 157 00:15:51,343.9700909 --> 00:15:51,703.9700909 Yes. 158 00:15:51,863.9700909 --> 00:16:00,930.09694401 What, because I've heard that from many mentors, you know, if I'm slacking in the gym or slacking on my diet, I'm going to slack in my business. 159 00:16:01,250.09594401 --> 00:16:03,550.09594401 Um, and vice versa. 160 00:16:03,870.09594401 --> 00:16:04,670.09694401 Just your thoughts on it. 161 00:16:04,670.09694401 --> 00:16:05,700.09794401 I'm just curious of. 162 00:16:06,450.09694401 --> 00:16:17,620.09694401 What do you think about that quote? I think it's pretty interesting because I think it can absolutely bleed from one area of your life into the other, right? The way you approach one thing is the way you absolutely approach something else. 163 00:16:18,340.09594401 --> 00:16:25,873.63469576 I think where there's going to be some nuance in this and where that quote misses the mark is it doesn't take into consideration your level of priority with things. 164 00:16:26,323.63469576 --> 00:16:33,743.63469576 Um, so it assumes like, If you put this much effort into this area of your life, you're gonna put this much into this area and this much into this area. 165 00:16:34,193.63469576 --> 00:16:44,373.6346958 Um, but whether we want to believe it or not, we have different priorities, right? You could go look through your bank statement probably and recognize what some of your priorities are. 166 00:16:44,703.6346958 --> 00:16:49,473.6346958 Mm-hmm That's a, that's a quick red, like not red flag necessarily, but a quick audit. 167 00:16:49,473.6346958 --> 00:16:52,533.6346958 Like, what are the things I'm spending my money on? Look at your calendar. 168 00:16:52,653.6346958 --> 00:16:55,53.6346958 What are the things that I'm prioritizing? And so. 169 00:16:55,513.6346958 --> 00:16:58,993.6346958 You may want to say, hey, my family is a really high priority in my life. 170 00:16:59,623.6346958 --> 00:17:13,923.6346958 But when you look at your calendar, how much of your time is split with your family? How many opportunities are you saying yes to that are taking you away from that? And that's not to like, condemn anybody, but it's just an audit to go, okay. 171 00:17:14,598.6346958 --> 00:17:18,658.6346958 Maybe if I, if I work this way in my family, I'm going to work this way in my job. 172 00:17:18,658.6346958 --> 00:17:21,158.6346958 I'm going to work this way with, you know, my marriage. 173 00:17:21,908.6346958 --> 00:17:23,128.6346958 I don't think that's always the case. 174 00:17:23,138.6336958 --> 00:17:33,168.5346958 So I think we've got to do a quick little audit and go, if I'm saying something is a priority, like what in my life is backing that up? If you don't like the answer. 175 00:17:33,878.6346958 --> 00:17:55,48.6346958 It's a really good place to start to go, okay, well, maybe there's some connection in, I really think I like, I'm really working hard in this area of my life, right? Maybe it's relationships, right? Maybe it's, Hey, I'm trying to improve this toxic relationship that I have in my marriage or in dating, but in doing so, I'm really letting this other area of my life. 176 00:17:55,218.6346958 --> 00:17:56,798.6346958 Maybe it's my relationship with the Lord. 177 00:17:56,818.6346958 --> 00:18:00,558.6346958 Maybe it's my physical or mental health, like, and I'm putting it on the back burner. 178 00:18:00,658.6346958 --> 00:18:03,438.6346958 And so that's, that's kind of my two cents. 179 00:18:04,343.6346958 --> 00:18:11,583.6346958 It's like we got to look at what are your actual priorities and how does that translate or maybe not translate between the different areas. 180 00:18:12,293.6346958 --> 00:18:12,813.6346958 For sure. 181 00:18:12,883.6346958 --> 00:18:14,73.6346958 I definitely agree with that. 182 00:18:14,83.6346958 --> 00:18:20,173.6346958 And I love that we're kind of in this stage, like, everything that we've kind of talked about, like, these first steps is just really about awareness. 183 00:18:20,463.6346958 --> 00:18:20,493.6346958 Yes. 184 00:18:20,663.6346958 --> 00:18:37,903.6346958 Um, and just kind of connecting the dots of why you kind of move the way that you do and why you think the things that you do, um, because if you don't address it, like if you just let yourself, your thoughts continue, like you look in the mirror every day and every single day you're pointing out your flaws. 185 00:18:37,923.6346958 --> 00:18:39,963.6346958 Every single day you feel like you're hating yourself. 186 00:18:40,693.6346958 --> 00:18:45,613.6346958 That cycle is going to continue until you draw a line in the sand and say, okay, like I'm. 187 00:18:45,678.7346958 --> 00:18:49,178.6346958 I'm not, I'm not satisfied with living life this way. 188 00:18:49,448.6346958 --> 00:18:56,808.6346958 I want to see the beauty that's in me because I am made by God and we are made in his image. 189 00:18:56,828.6346958 --> 00:19:11,134.6469395 And when we down his creation, it's, I think that's kind of has what helped me in loving the way that God made me to be in, in mind. 190 00:19:11,704.6479395 --> 00:19:18,364.6479395 My insecurities more so stemmed from, I definitely, I think every woman kind of goes through a stage of insecurity with how they look. 191 00:19:18,374.6479395 --> 00:19:18,394.6479395 Yeah. 192 00:19:18,964.6479395 --> 00:20:16,907.6587163 We all think, dang, like, we can spot a beautiful women, woman, whenever we see one, and then we start to compare, um, but I had a lot of insecurities with the way that, like, the way that people would perceive me like I had insecurities around what people would think about me and it kept me from being like my full authentic self and I think that does translate into if you have if you if you believe that you're lacking something physically you're not showing up as your full authentic self because you're trying to make up for that in other ways yeah yeah so say somebody starts to unpack and, and, noticing, okay, these are the beliefs that I hold, um, then what, like, what do they do with that? So once you have recognized what some of your beliefs are, the next stage of that is really looking at now, how do I kind of categorize these beliefs? Um, we need to know, like, which beliefs are healthy or beneficial for us. 193 00:20:17,297.6587163 --> 00:20:23,657.6587163 Like, what are those solid beliefs that, you know, you don't want to change that, you know, are would be detrimental if they changed. 194 00:20:23,992.6587163 --> 00:20:24,142.6587163 Right. 195 00:20:24,172.6587163 --> 00:20:32,382.6587163 Maybe you have super solid belief in your faith and you go, okay, I know that I believe that this God's son, he came, he died on the cross to save my life. 196 00:20:32,382.6587163 --> 00:20:34,722.6587163 And you, you know, you've got the strong faith foundation. 197 00:20:35,272.6587163 --> 00:20:38,722.6587163 It's probably not something you want to change, right? So we're going to kind of move that into one category. 198 00:20:39,802.6587163 --> 00:20:51,182.6587163 Essentially, what we want to do is we want to identify what are all of the limiting, what are the beliefs that are holding me back and keeping me from fully walking in the calling and the purpose that the Lord has in my life. 199 00:20:51,932.6587163 --> 00:20:55,292.6587163 And whether you think they're related to your body or not, they're not all going to be. 200 00:20:55,527.6587163 --> 00:20:55,827.6587163 Right. 201 00:20:55,857.6587163 --> 00:21:03,17.6587163 We know some of them are going to be more than maybe what we think to start with, but once we can recognize, okay, here's all these beliefs. 202 00:21:03,237.6587163 --> 00:21:04,127.6587163 Here's the healthy ones. 203 00:21:04,127.6587163 --> 00:21:05,7.6577163 Here's the limiting ones. 204 00:21:05,687.5881202 --> 00:21:10,117.5891202 The way you start approaching your beliefs can't be this like one size fits all. 205 00:21:10,117.5891202 --> 00:21:16,617.5891202 I'm going to approach all of them the same way because you're limiting beliefs are going to be rooted in different fears. 206 00:21:16,997.5891202 --> 00:21:22,27.5891202 And so the next stage is to go, okay, something that I teach my clients, we go through four main points. 207 00:21:22,817.5891202 --> 00:21:26,977.5891202 Um, umbrella categories of limiting beliefs, which I know we don't have time to get into today. 208 00:21:26,977.5891202 --> 00:21:41,858.5344592 But, once you can recognize like, hey, there's, you know, a belief that has to do with, um, growth mindset, right? Am I a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? Once you can recognize like, and I, this is something that I teach inside, inside my group coaching, but we look at. 209 00:21:42,448.5354592 --> 00:22:14,168.5354592 How do you recognize what falls into what category and once you can kind of know, hey, it's one of these four, um, then we can look at, okay, here's typically the fear that's driving that or here's typically the lie or the misbelief that you're holding on to that is leaving you in this mindset and then once you know what that is, once you know what that fear or that, um, kind of main contributing factor is, regardless of what the actual belief is, that teaches you how to approach Really replacing that lie with truth and fighting that fear. 210 00:22:14,618.5354592 --> 00:22:27,808.5344592 Um, and so once fear for so many of us is such a huge driving factor, because as much as we want to like, believe, you know, and use logic to go, okay, well, you know, I know logically this isn't true. 211 00:22:27,838.5354592 --> 00:22:41,81.1704024 I can convince myself, or I know scripture says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, but what does that really mean? once you kind of attach the feeling or the emotion to it, you can recognize like, okay, this, This fear is, like, really powerful. 212 00:22:41,531.1704024 --> 00:22:48,297.4559137 Our brain has a tendency to want to avoid fear more than it does to just, like, do the right thing, for lack of a better way of saying it. 213 00:22:48,387.4549137 --> 00:22:48,707.4549137 Right. 214 00:22:48,997.4559137 --> 00:22:52,277.4559137 We want to, we want to feel safe and we don't want to be afraid. 215 00:22:52,287.4559137 --> 00:22:54,27.4549137 And so our fears drive a lot of decisions. 216 00:22:54,37.4559137 --> 00:23:09,352.4559137 So once we can recognize that, that really leads us into, okay, now how do I individually approach these different beliefs so that fear is not the thing that is driving the behavior? And I can really move back into a place of, you know, Like. 217 00:23:09,825.1121637 --> 00:23:18,275.1121637 Just a confidence in my identity, my worth, that is going to allow me to then very practically and tangibly attack these body image police. 218 00:23:19,365.1121637 --> 00:23:20,15.1121637 No, it's so good. 219 00:23:20,15.1121637 --> 00:23:21,265.1121637 Thank you for breaking that down. 220 00:23:21,325.1111637 --> 00:23:28,896.1775046 It's so cr like, as you're sharing this, like, I just, I just, my question that I kind of want to pose is, to everybody listening is. 221 00:23:29,136.6342904 --> 00:23:39,22.8252319 what are the, what are these lies that you're telling yourself? Because like, I mean the scripture even talks about like our life does move in the direction of your most of our most dominant thoughts. 222 00:23:39,352.8242319 --> 00:23:48,707.5056296 And that's just so insane how how a lie or truth is what is prompting an emotion, which then triggers a response. 223 00:23:48,883.8124478 --> 00:23:56,643.8124478 and then that action will reinforce, it'll produce a result, and then the result that you receive reinforces this belief that you hold. 224 00:23:56,673.8114478 --> 00:23:56,963.8114478 Yes. 225 00:23:56,993.8124478 --> 00:23:57,833.8124478 And so, Yeah. 226 00:23:58,294.6576183 --> 00:24:05,472.9033569 Yeah, you're, it's just, I think the main driver here is wanting to have a more positive body image and to love yourself again. 227 00:24:05,492.9033569 --> 00:24:08,79.103641 It is, It's, it's not a quick fix. 228 00:24:08,99.103641 --> 00:24:10,819.103641 It's really deconstructing these beliefs. 229 00:24:11,862.1008001 --> 00:24:14,542.0998001 I, I really believe the enemy is at, is at work here. 230 00:24:14,542.1008001 --> 00:24:24,117.9672774 I mean, when you are in this self hate and you're in this negative cycle that's not helping you grow because he attacks through ideas, thoughts, and suggestions. 231 00:24:24,117.9672774 --> 00:24:29,947.9672774 Like he can't make you hate yourself but he shoots that thought and then it's up to you. 232 00:24:29,947.9672774 --> 00:24:31,737.9662774 You have the power to decide. 233 00:24:32,102.9672774 --> 00:24:33,222.9672774 What you want to do with that thought. 234 00:24:33,242.9672774 --> 00:24:34,902.9672774 You don't have to agree with it. 235 00:24:35,121.0330097 --> 00:24:50,408.7396788 So how does somebody who is in this negative cycle? know that she's making progress to having a positive body image? I'm going to tell you the reason that I love this question, Dani, is because I have a really unconventional answer for it. 236 00:24:50,428.7396788 --> 00:24:55,749.3388302 And most people are like, I'm expecting you to say something about, well, I just love my body now. 237 00:24:56,159.3388302 --> 00:24:58,839.3388302 Um, but honestly, the goal in. 238 00:24:59,179.3388302 --> 00:25:23,759.3388302 When, when you're looking at seeing, Hey, is my body image improving? The best, most accurate way that I have seen to recognize that is how much time are you spending thinking about your body now? As opposed to, you know, a week ago or a month ago or a year ago, um, because something, something that I walk my clients through, so many of them think like, I just have to love my body or I have to be body positive. 239 00:25:23,799.3388302 --> 00:25:26,639.3388302 That's such like a buzzword phrase right now. 240 00:25:27,59.3378302 --> 00:25:30,96.8765374 And scripture actually kind of tells us the opposite. 241 00:25:30,462.4259991 --> 00:25:42,734.5970191 There's a verse in scripture that talks about how, you know, at the end times or in the end of days, like, all these terrible, like, there will be terrible things that happen, and the first one is, will be lovers of self. 242 00:25:43,794.5980191 --> 00:25:53,752.253361 And that really hit me when I read that on like, okay, well, we are inherently are, we need to accept and appreciate and steward the body that the Lord gave us. 243 00:25:54,302.253361 --> 00:25:59,576.6709652 And the goal isn't necessarily body love or body positivity, cause. 244 00:25:59,989.3318018 --> 00:26:06,399.3318018 Usually what that requires is thinking, thinking about your body in a positive way, right? There's nothing wrong with that. 245 00:26:06,819.3318018 --> 00:26:09,729.3318018 But in order to do that, you've got to think more about your body. 246 00:26:10,9.3318018 --> 00:26:16,80.5142446 And the more you're thinking about your body, the more you're thinking about your body, which for most people is a huge distraction. 247 00:26:16,525.5152446 --> 00:26:21,617.3308069 Right? Like, I'm not going to think negatively about my body if I'm not thinking about my body at all. 248 00:26:22,87.3308069 --> 00:26:31,857.3303069 And the goal isn't necessarily to just never think about your body, but to think about your body at the times that it's actually impactful in a, in a helpful way. 249 00:26:31,857.3303069 --> 00:26:35,497.3308069 So, if I can give you a picture of this, I'm very, I'm a very visual person. 250 00:26:36,77.3308069 --> 00:26:37,747.3308069 So, I kind of created this. 251 00:26:38,300.3591698 --> 00:26:39,810.3591698 Think about like a four quadrant framework. 252 00:26:40,200.3591698 --> 00:26:40,860.3591698 I'm a nerd. 253 00:26:40,910.3591698 --> 00:26:42,640.3591698 I loved math in school. 254 00:26:42,880.3591698 --> 00:26:56,400.3591698 And so if you think about this on like an x y axis, all right, so you got this like horizontal bar, you know, at the bottom and this vertical one, um, and you just think about like a four square grid, right? If you ever played four square like in middle school or something, same kind of concept, right? On top of each other. 255 00:26:56,400.3591698 --> 00:26:58,606.3827917 And so I use this framework. 256 00:26:58,726.3827917 --> 00:27:06,390.7194528 I'll call it the body focus and intentionality framework and on that bottom access, you know, on the horizontal about this is like from left to right. 257 00:27:06,410.7194528 --> 00:27:08,300.7194528 How much focus you're putting on your body. 258 00:27:08,310.7194528 --> 00:27:11,210.7194528 So like very little on the left to a whole lot on the right. 259 00:27:11,735.7194528 --> 00:27:19,292.1459115 And then intentionality, meaning, how intentional am I in the way that I am treating a body, stewarding it, or caring for it, or those kind of things. 260 00:27:19,702.1469115 --> 00:27:21,432.1459115 And same thing, like, bottom to top. 261 00:27:21,797.1469115 --> 00:27:23,287.1469115 Just a little, to a lot. 262 00:27:23,768.0473475 --> 00:27:34,558.0473475 And so often, people think, I need to be in, like, high, in the top right quadrant, right? High body focus, high intentionality, that's where I'm gonna be, quote unquote, most healthy, or most confident. 263 00:27:35,164.0919482 --> 00:27:45,59.0489681 But what happens if you have low body focus and low intentionality, that means I'm not thinking about my body a whole lot, and When something happens to make me think about it, um, I'm not doing a whole lot. 264 00:27:45,89.0489681 --> 00:27:51,729.0489681 You're just kind of, most of the time, people in that spot feel really defeated when it comes to their body image because they're just like, I need to numb out. 265 00:27:51,749.0489681 --> 00:27:52,469.0489681 I need to distract. 266 00:27:52,489.0479681 --> 00:27:55,459.0489681 I don't want to think about my body because it's just never turns out well. 267 00:27:56,398.1082076 --> 00:28:02,378.1072076 So then they go, okay, well, maybe I just need to think about my body more, right? I need to be more body positive. 268 00:28:02,913.1082076 --> 00:28:06,233.1082076 So what happens is the intentionality level doesn't change. 269 00:28:06,233.1082076 --> 00:28:07,903.1082076 It's just the thoughts, right? I need to think better. 270 00:28:07,913.1082076 --> 00:28:08,723.1082076 I need to think positive. 271 00:28:08,933.1082076 --> 00:28:09,993.1082076 I love my stomach. 272 00:28:10,423.1082076 --> 00:28:11,123.1082076 I love my arms. 273 00:28:11,123.1082076 --> 00:28:12,3.1082076 I love my whatever. 274 00:28:12,453.0163882 --> 00:28:17,663.0163882 But then you get really burnout and you get more and more hopeless because nothing's really changing. 275 00:28:18,93.0163882 --> 00:28:19,263.0153882 Behaviors don't change. 276 00:28:19,293.0153882 --> 00:28:21,213.0163882 Just, you're just mentally obsessing. 277 00:28:21,525.6506131 --> 00:28:28,875.6663372 and so we go, okay, well, I focus high intentionality, right? That kind of top right quadrant, but then you get super perfectionistic. 278 00:28:29,320.6663372 --> 00:28:34,330.6663372 This is where you might see some disordered eating coming up if you've ever heard of like orthorexia or this. 279 00:28:34,990.6663372 --> 00:28:53,148.453004 Desire for super healthy, clean eating, and it's a super big priority, but it gets to the point we mentioned a minute ago where you're just thinking about your body a lot, and you start developing, if you get super intentional, oftentimes it's like, well, that's where a bunch of food rules are going to come in, and that's where a bunch of body rules are going to come in. 280 00:28:53,148.553004 --> 00:29:03,757.9148997 You've got to get on the scale, and it better stay in this range, and plant size is shifting, and you've got to just, more and more food is, so just very body obsessed and perfectionistic is where we end up. 281 00:29:04,198.1362126 --> 00:29:11,613.5497843 The sweet spot when it comes to thinking about our bodies and improving our body image is low focus behind intentionality. 282 00:29:11,893.5487843 --> 00:29:14,673.5497843 So that about the left quadrant here, but flies. 283 00:29:15,158.5497843 --> 00:29:34,344.3711955 When you have low focus, this doesn't mean no focus, but this means you are in touch enough with your body that when your body's giving you a signal like, Hey, I'm hungry or stomach's a knot because I'm nervous because this guy just texted me that I've been interested in, or so and so just gave me a compliment, right? We start noticing those physical sensations in our body. 284 00:29:34,364.3711955 --> 00:29:35,394.3711955 We're aware of it. 285 00:29:36,64.3711955 --> 00:29:43,214.3701955 And we develop this high level of intentionality where when my body's communicating something, I know how to respond to it in a beneficial way. 286 00:29:43,829.3711955 --> 00:29:47,469.3711955 You respond to it, you take care of the need, right? If it's hunger, you eat something. 287 00:29:47,699.3711955 --> 00:29:53,799.3711955 If it's nerves, maybe you like, do something physically to de stress your body, like release the physical tension. 288 00:29:54,240.4884646 --> 00:29:56,330.4884646 All kinds, depending on what it is, right? There's all kinds of things. 289 00:29:57,280.4884646 --> 00:30:12,335.7880233 When you get to that place, you take care of the need instead of thinking, my body is against me because I shouldn't be hungry right now, or I shouldn't be nervous, or my body's just like fighting me, right? Your body is on your team, right? God didn't make you and your body to be at odds. 290 00:30:12,575.7880233 --> 00:30:21,25.7880233 He made our bodies before he actually breathed life into them, right? He took his hands, he spoke everything into creation except our body. 291 00:30:21,475.7880233 --> 00:30:23,785.7880233 He made it out of his hands. 292 00:30:23,805.7880233 --> 00:30:29,965.7880233 And there's something so special and tangible about the fact that we were crafted by his hands. 293 00:30:29,965.7880233 --> 00:30:38,75.7880233 And so when we can have intentionality with going, what do I take care of it? Meet the need, do what needs to be done, and then move forward. 294 00:30:39,360.7880233 --> 00:30:43,830.7880233 distraction to us, constantly mirror checking, getting on the scale. 295 00:30:44,90.7880233 --> 00:30:47,709.942783 We're not going, okay, I need to be focused on my body all the time. 296 00:30:47,709.942783 --> 00:30:52,23.3459946 Just that's where this like confidence and empowerment comes in because. 297 00:30:52,388.5738962 --> 00:30:58,168.5738962 You can go on that date and not be worried about how your pants are fitting, right? So, side note, tip here. 298 00:30:58,278.5738962 --> 00:31:01,862.2196431 One of the best ways to improve your body image is thinking about it less. 299 00:31:02,267.7433687 --> 00:31:04,787.7423687 So, wear clothing that fits your body right now. 300 00:31:05,157.7433687 --> 00:31:09,797.7433687 Don't wear those jeans that you want to fit into at some point or that you think you should. 301 00:31:10,189.0360785 --> 00:31:12,239.0370785 Buy clothes that are comfortable, that you like. 302 00:31:12,239.0370785 --> 00:31:20,534.0370785 You like the style and it's It's not going to draw your attention to your body, right? This includes, I'm going to say the weird thing here, this includes undergarments too. 303 00:31:21,154.0370785 --> 00:31:25,824.0370785 Nobody wants to be on a date and be like fidgeting with their bra because it's uncomfortable or tight. 304 00:31:26,634.0370785 --> 00:31:31,834.0375785 Get some clothing that fits your body comfortably so that that is not the thing that's drawing your attention to your body. 305 00:31:31,834.0375785 --> 00:31:51,712.0738405 So you can actually be present on the date or Out and about running errands with your husband when you need something boring to do, but you want to have time together, right? So, that's where this high intentionality, low focus is, I think, the best way to really practically and tangibly start improving your body image. 306 00:31:51,712.0748405 --> 00:31:54,812.1851074 Because you're going to think about it less and respond to it a lot more quickly. 307 00:31:55,292.4190959 --> 00:31:56,182.4190959 That's so good. 308 00:31:56,182.4190959 --> 00:32:10,898.7541562 I'm so glad that you explained that because if we do try to just force ourselves to have this positive, positive body image or just, like, be positive about it, it makes sense that we can hyperfixate on that. 309 00:32:11,248.7541562 --> 00:32:12,948.7541562 And that's not. 310 00:32:13,233.7541562 --> 00:32:14,63.7541562 That's not the goal. 311 00:32:14,73.7541562 --> 00:32:17,511.5366707 Like, God doesn't want us to be hyper focused on that. 312 00:32:17,531.5366707 --> 00:32:20,74.8700041 And The low focus, high intentionality. 313 00:32:20,244.8710041 --> 00:32:20,974.8710041 It's beautiful. 314 00:32:21,64.8700041 --> 00:32:24,834.8705041 I love what you've, how you've shared that and structured that for your clients. 315 00:32:24,834.8705041 --> 00:32:25,444.8710041 So good. 316 00:32:25,864.8710041 --> 00:32:31,693.1777957 Um, I, I know you mentioned like the one tip, right? Of, um, finding clothes that will fit. 317 00:32:32,163.1777957 --> 00:32:44,820.0820601 What else would you recommend, her to do if, you know, she's at this place where she is in this cycle, right? Maybe she, she has done the belief exercise and figured out what her core beliefs are. 318 00:32:45,180.0820601 --> 00:32:53,422.168115 Um, she's switching out her, her wardrobe and she's really trying to build up the confidence to put herself out there in the dating field. 319 00:32:53,472.168115 --> 00:32:58,137.4142701 Like she, but she just has this low self esteem. 320 00:32:58,413.4424899 --> 00:33:08,411.9881588 what are some other tips like that you would give her or speak to her At this place to give her just the boost that she needs To not hide anymore. 321 00:33:09,241.9891588 --> 00:33:09,791.9891588 Yeah. 322 00:33:09,841.9891588 --> 00:33:13,921.9881588 Oh, that's so good Um, I think Danny I feel like you hit it on the head. 323 00:33:13,921.9881588 --> 00:33:26,553.2320488 There's so many women just feel like they need to hide Um, I think that especially for those who are wanting to date and wanting to get married and wanting to improve the relationship that you're in, I think it's not going to do it. 324 00:33:27,163.2310488 --> 00:33:28,573.2320488 You've got to be able to. 325 00:33:29,348.2320488 --> 00:33:33,198.2320488 Confidently speak to the person that you're dating or engaged to or married to. 326 00:33:33,608.2320488 --> 00:33:36,828.2320488 Um, just like we want to approach the Lord with confidence as well. 327 00:33:36,828.2320488 --> 00:33:54,184.0764137 And so from a practical tactical standpoint, I think it's really important that we, with those core beliefs, we, we identify these kind of what we would call it cognitive distortions or these irrational thoughts or lies that are unknowingly maybe even being reinforced over time. 328 00:33:54,504.0764137 --> 00:33:56,324.0764137 And so that requires. 329 00:33:57,678.0074515 --> 00:34:27,199.6692842 the rules, right? If you tell yourself, hey, I have to eat a certain way before I can say yes to this date or have to reach a certain body size, it's going, all right, I'm going to, I'm laughing because there's so many women that I work with that are very type A, and so if you are type A, or if you've been like the, uh, I want to say a student, but like, uh, I'm the, I never break rules, right? If you give me a diet or if you tell me what to do, or if you give me instructions, I'm a following to a T. 330 00:34:27,839.6692842 --> 00:34:36,449.6692842 This is a really good spot to practice being a rebel because you've got to break a lot of rules, uh, when you want to improve your body image or when you want to let go of diet culture in some way. 331 00:34:36,759.6682842 --> 00:34:37,9.6682842 Right. 332 00:34:37,9.6682842 --> 00:34:41,895.0016452 And so jotting down, like if you were going to give an instruction manual to someone else. 333 00:34:42,260.9810341 --> 00:34:47,630.9810341 So that they have your same body image or your same relationship with food or your body. 334 00:34:47,899.4249532 --> 00:34:51,319.4249532 What, what kind of instructions would you get them? Like write the rules down. 335 00:34:51,619.4249532 --> 00:34:58,319.4249532 All right, like you can go on a date when you reach this size, or if you're going to go eat out at this restaurant with this boy, then you have to eat this way during the day. 336 00:34:58,709.4249532 --> 00:35:02,19.4249532 Or you can only wear black because it makes you look a certain way. 337 00:35:02,89.4249532 --> 00:35:03,239.4249532 Or you can't wear this dress. 338 00:35:03,639.4249532 --> 00:35:06,459.4249532 Start writing them down and break every single one of them. 339 00:35:06,509.4249532 --> 00:35:08,619.4249532 Like do it one or two at a time. 340 00:35:09,123.3429246 --> 00:35:12,283.3429246 And tell somebody you're doing it, because it's going to stress you out. 341 00:35:13,253.3429246 --> 00:35:21,945.7234087 Just like, like, I feel like you gotta, you gotta be set up for the fact that you gotta have realistic expectations and knowing it can be super fun to break rules. 342 00:35:22,295.7234087 --> 00:35:25,395.7224087 And there are consequences when you break rules too. 343 00:35:25,665.7234087 --> 00:35:28,745.7224087 These, the consequences, are just gonna be mental. 344 00:35:29,360.7234087 --> 00:35:29,610.7234087 Right. 345 00:35:29,940.7234087 --> 00:35:40,540.7234087 I'm, I'm not going to get, I'm not, nothing negative is actually going to happen to me if I were yellow instead of black on a date, but mentally, I'm probably going to be a little bit more occupied with going, okay, I'm not right. 346 00:35:40,550.7224087 --> 00:35:40,920.7224087 Black. 347 00:35:40,920.7224087 --> 00:35:41,740.7224087 This is different. 348 00:35:41,740.7234087 --> 00:35:42,790.7224087 And this is uncomfortable. 349 00:35:43,103.0989694 --> 00:35:43,463.0989694 Different. 350 00:35:43,463.0989694 --> 00:35:44,223.0989694 Isn't bad. 351 00:35:44,293.0989694 --> 00:35:45,623.0979694 It's just unfamiliar. 352 00:35:46,123.0979694 --> 00:35:53,365.0941828 And so you have to take that messy, unpredictable action because everything is scary until it's familiar. 353 00:35:53,625.0941828 --> 00:35:55,725.0941828 So pick a rule. 354 00:35:55,725.1941828 --> 00:35:55,739.9941828 Okay. 355 00:35:56,80.0941828 --> 00:36:03,930.0941828 Maybe it's just one a week, maybe it's two a week, and break it a whole bunch of times, um, as you're working to improve that body image. 356 00:36:03,930.0941828 --> 00:36:10,550.4904404 And so, one of those rules I would say, make at least one of those rules something that's going to help you look at your body less. 357 00:36:10,740.4904404 --> 00:36:12,480.4904404 Erase some body checking behavior. 358 00:36:12,480.4904404 --> 00:36:16,30.4904404 So identify at least one way that you are body checking. 359 00:36:16,410.4904404 --> 00:36:17,990.4904404 Maybe it's you're getting on a scale. 360 00:36:18,240.4904404 --> 00:36:20,100.4904404 Maybe it is you. 361 00:36:20,150.4904404 --> 00:36:23,10.4904404 I don't want to feed too many ideas here because I don't want people to start body checking. 362 00:36:23,270.4904404 --> 00:36:26,860.4904404 Right? But if you notice, like, hey, I'm looking in my reflection a lot. 363 00:36:26,860.5904404 --> 00:36:33,610.4894404 Or I'm spending way longer either in front of the mirror, or I'm catching, you know, a store window every time I walk by. 364 00:36:34,80.4904404 --> 00:36:35,675.3904404 Or whatever it is. 365 00:36:36,185.4904404 --> 00:36:45,324.6262743 Start working on increasing your awareness around when that's happening and take one of those behaviors and give yourself, some guidelines on how to reduce that. 366 00:36:45,677.6714003 --> 00:36:52,87.6714003 And if y'all want it, Dani, I have actually on my website, I'll just, I'll just create a little coupon code and your listeners can have it for free. 367 00:36:52,347.6704003 --> 00:36:58,287.6714003 Um, but I have like a body image cheat sheet that I give to a lot of my clients, um, goes through. 368 00:36:58,727.6714003 --> 00:37:01,407.6714003 Some of our strategies for this, because I know we won't have time to go through it all today. 369 00:37:01,807.6714003 --> 00:37:06,97.6714003 Um, so if they want it, I'll just, I'll just send you a link, um, so they can just download it. 370 00:37:06,437.5583698 --> 00:37:15,287.1370597 But yeah, being able just to like, practically go, what are some things that I can do? to reduce or eliminate some body checking behaviors. 371 00:37:15,697.1370597 --> 00:37:22,907.859655 That way you're not thinking about your body so much while you're on the date or you're doing whatever you're doing, and you can be a lot more present. 372 00:37:23,207.3132472 --> 00:37:47,712.3142472 Because I guarantee if you go on a date or if you're sitting at home and having a conversation with your husband and you get to the end of the night and you've been having a good conversation and doing activities and You think, hey, what's my body image been like tonight? It's going to be way higher than if you spent the time nitpicking or trying to talk yourself up and say, hey, okay, you actually do look good in this outfit, right? You can, you can go with the second outfit instead of the eighth outfit. 373 00:37:48,39.757796 --> 00:37:54,63.3494698 so reducing those body checking behaviors is a super, super practical one, which you can start right now. 374 00:37:54,373.3494698 --> 00:37:55,493.3494698 Pause the episode and go do that. 375 00:37:55,793.3494698 --> 00:37:57,653.3494698 Listen to the last few minutes and go do it. 376 00:37:57,663.3494698 --> 00:37:57,903.3494698 Like. 377 00:37:58,403.3494698 --> 00:37:59,83.3494698 Super easy. 378 00:37:59,683.3494698 --> 00:38:00,553.3494698 That's so good. 379 00:38:00,583.3494698 --> 00:38:08,923.3494698 I love that all your, I honestly wasn't expecting, I didn't know what to expect because this is the first time I'm having a conversation regarding body image, honestly. 380 00:38:09,203.3494698 --> 00:38:18,883.4938572 Um, and so I wasn't, I didn't know what to expect, but I love that all this, it's like you're really prioritizing their mental health and, like that's the core of this. 381 00:38:19,63.4938572 --> 00:38:20,423.4938572 I just love your approach. 382 00:38:20,423.4938572 --> 00:38:21,923.4938572 This has been so helpful. 383 00:38:22,253.4938572 --> 00:38:22,963.4938572 Um. 384 00:38:23,193.4938572 --> 00:38:24,683.4938572 I just have one last thing. 385 00:38:24,693.4938572 --> 00:38:54,147.2847197 I don't know if you have would have anything to add on here, but For the girl who has this belief, right? That I know a big thing that i've I just recently heard like she's got a full face of acne and she believes that she cannot like she's hiding until she Her acne goes away, which is causing her to just like is to hide and to block out You know possible blessings that God has for her and even growth that he may have Want her to go through in this moment. 386 00:38:54,477.2847197 --> 00:39:08,439.4337513 Like what would you just tell her in words of encouragement? So this might not be acne for you It might be some part of your body or the way that you look and you have this belief that okay well, I I'm holding off on dating her until this gets fixed. 387 00:39:08,699.4337513 --> 00:39:29,745.545293 What, what would be like your final encouragement for her? I'm gonna see if I can make this really short, but I'm gonna give you a little two part something to think on with this because, um, if you, if you wait until that thing is gone, acne is gone, you're dropping gene size, you get the haircut, whatever it is, you're going to always be waiting. 388 00:39:30,365.545293 --> 00:39:45,465.8395389 And I don't say that to To be negative Nancy and that, like, you're never, you're always going to have acne or you're never going to like your hair, but it's always going to be something, so many of the women I work with think that, hey, when I get to whatever number on the scale, I'll be satisfied and content and I can rest and stop striving. 389 00:39:46,162.8155882 --> 00:39:50,762.8155882 But when that's the mindset, then you're always going to try to one up yourself. 390 00:39:50,792.8155882 --> 00:39:52,822.8155882 You're going to get to that point and not be satisfied. 391 00:39:52,822.8155882 --> 00:39:56,602.8155882 And you're going to go, okay, well, if I made it to this weight, maybe I can make it to the next one. 392 00:39:56,902.8145882 --> 00:39:59,232.8145882 Or I made it to this weight and I don't feel confident yet. 393 00:39:59,622.8155882 --> 00:40:04,392.8145882 So I must need to either make the scale to go down further or change something else. 394 00:40:04,482.8145882 --> 00:40:07,432.8155882 And so it really comes back to. 395 00:40:08,182.8155882 --> 00:40:35,490.3842225 Just having this unwavering belief that you're like, no matter how much your body changes, that is not what it's going to make you more, um, you're not going to be more worthy of love, when your body changes, it's just going to spur on the desire to change it for, um, and so I don't know, I feel like, I talk in analogy sometimes because it's just, it's helpful for me to have this, This visual picture. 396 00:40:35,490.3842225 --> 00:40:38,655.2027668 And so, if you think about I, I'm a horrible. 397 00:40:39,310.2027668 --> 00:40:41,300.2027668 I'm a horrible driver when it comes to directions. 398 00:40:41,410.2027668 --> 00:40:44,400.2027668 I like to have GPS just to go just about anywhere. 399 00:40:44,410.2027668 --> 00:40:46,150.2027668 Even if it's just to check traffic. 400 00:40:46,700.2027668 --> 00:40:52,380.2027668 I don't live in a huge, ginormous city, but in Alabama, it's, I live just outside of the biggest city we have in Alabama. 401 00:40:52,940.2027668 --> 00:40:55,890.2027668 And so, um, I'm constantly using my GPS. 402 00:40:55,960.2027668 --> 00:40:59,944.7581271 And when people come into our neighborhood, sometimes they can't find our house. 403 00:40:59,964.7581271 --> 00:41:02,414.7581271 Because we live in a fairly, fairly new neighborhood. 404 00:41:02,444.7581271 --> 00:41:06,424.7581271 And so, if they put their, our address in their GPS, they may or may not find it. 405 00:41:06,764.7581271 --> 00:41:07,564.7581271 We've had people that are. 406 00:41:08,74.7581271 --> 00:41:10,824.7581271 Follow me there, like, how do I get to your house? I'm like, I can see you down the street. 407 00:41:11,229.4099998 --> 00:41:11,669.4099998 just turn. 408 00:41:12,219.4099998 --> 00:41:17,889.4099998 But when, when we don't have like an accurate map, we can't get somewhere. 409 00:41:17,889.4099998 --> 00:41:23,829.4099998 And so a lot of women are navigating life using this expired map. 410 00:41:23,989.4099998 --> 00:41:26,789.4099998 That's like math that tells you, Hey, here's beauty and worth. 411 00:41:26,789.4099998 --> 00:41:29,879.4099998 And here's how you like, here's the roadmap to get to more confidence. 412 00:41:30,329.4099998 --> 00:41:34,519.4099998 And it's one that's telling us that, Hey, our value is based. 413 00:41:34,989.4099998 --> 00:41:36,129.4099998 On books. 414 00:41:36,159.4099998 --> 00:41:43,928.5577604 And so turn right and that's, you know, get the haircut, turn left, lose the five pounds, turn this way, start eating such and such. 415 00:41:44,298.6788448 --> 00:41:46,878.6788448 but that's, that's not the kind of math that was designed by the Lord. 416 00:41:46,908.6788448 --> 00:41:49,848.6788448 And you don't want that to sound like the fluffy answer. 417 00:41:50,278.6778448 --> 00:42:13,786.6385248 Um, so it really comes back to going again, kind of breaking those rules and going, if it's acne, if it's the weight, if it's the, whatever it is, we have to first do the hard thing and say, This is like, this is not like the Lord did not create me to, I'm only allowed to feel good about my body when it looks particular way, that doesn't feel good. 418 00:42:14,466.6385248 --> 00:42:15,186.6385248 It's the hard part. 419 00:42:15,186.6385248 --> 00:42:32,920.9727903 Like, I want to give you the answer that's like, okay, give me the pep talk and make me feel good and it comes with the reps, right? Like the more that you practice doing the hard thing and kind of just building that muscle confidence is like a muscle, right? You don't wake up one day with rock solid confidence. 420 00:42:33,260.9737903 --> 00:42:33,870.9737903 It's that muscle. 421 00:42:33,870.9737903 --> 00:42:35,275.8737903 You have to train just like it. 422 00:42:35,778.0251444 --> 00:42:44,168.0241444 When you first start lifting weight, they're doing some sort of exercise that feels really weird, um, gets more comfortable and familiar over time. 423 00:42:44,168.0251444 --> 00:42:46,538.0241444 And so building confidence works the same way. 424 00:42:46,538.0251444 --> 00:42:52,1.1559517 The more you challenge those negative beliefs, the more you, take the really bold steps, the messy, uncomfortable. 425 00:42:52,411.1559517 --> 00:42:55,881.1559517 Action, the stronger that confidence muscle becomes. 426 00:42:55,951.1559517 --> 00:43:07,971.5124442 And so the acne being gone isn't going to make you feel more confident automatically, right? It's the, I'm going to say yes to the date, or I'm not going to take my makeup on to try and make me feel more confident. 427 00:43:08,516.5124442 --> 00:43:11,396.5124442 Right? I'm going to go on the date and I'm going to have the conversation. 428 00:43:11,846.5124442 --> 00:43:16,906.2082995 And more you do the things when you feel uncomfortable, the less uncomfortable you're going to feel and the more confident you'll be. 429 00:43:17,386.2072995 --> 00:43:17,826.2072995 Yes. 430 00:43:17,846.2082995 --> 00:43:18,316.2082995 Yes. 431 00:43:18,346.2082995 --> 00:43:19,916.1082995 I love it. 432 00:43:19,916.2082995 --> 00:43:20,506.2082995 That's it. 433 00:43:20,516.2082995 --> 00:43:21,146.2082995 That's key. 434 00:43:21,246.2082995 --> 00:43:22,116.2082995 That's so good. 435 00:43:22,166.2072995 --> 00:43:26,686.2072995 Brittany, that's so good because it is, it is like, um, yeah, you, you said it. 436 00:43:26,686.2082995 --> 00:43:28,26.2082995 I feel like I don't even have to add on. 437 00:43:28,26.2082995 --> 00:43:29,186.2082995 You exactly said it. 438 00:43:29,186.2082995 --> 00:43:34,406.2082995 Like the confidence is a muscle and the more that you do, you step out in comfortability. 439 00:43:34,543.337358 --> 00:43:43,378.5139319 the more confident you become, the stronger that you become, and then the less important that these other things that we're telling ourselves that feels important, the less important they become. 440 00:43:43,708.5139319 --> 00:43:48,478.5129319 And the more authentically you, you can be, and that's the most beautiful thing about you. 441 00:43:48,498.5139319 --> 00:43:59,598.5139319 Like the most beautiful, beautiful thing about you is you fully knowing who God created you to be and like stepping into her, that's, that's where you are fully attractive. 442 00:43:59,878.5139319 --> 00:44:00,408.5139319 Um. 443 00:44:00,730.5567387 --> 00:44:08,930.5567387 There's, like, three levels that my church actually just talked about, um, we're on this, like, relationship series, and our first one was about, what makes us attractive. 444 00:44:09,280.5567387 --> 00:44:12,750.5567387 The very bottom, the last one is a physical attraction. 445 00:44:12,760.5567387 --> 00:44:15,220.5557387 This is the, the, the least important. 446 00:44:15,230.5567387 --> 00:44:18,490.5567387 It has an importance, like, In a relationship, but it's the least. 447 00:44:18,790.5567387 --> 00:44:21,140.5567387 The second one is this emotional attraction. 448 00:44:21,390.5567387 --> 00:44:28,140.5567387 Um, how well do you connect to your partner and to this person? that's, that's the second layer. 449 00:44:28,160.5567387 --> 00:44:30,680.5562387 And then the first layer is this spiritual attraction. 450 00:44:30,680.5562387 --> 00:44:36,580.5567387 Like, how connected are you to God? Because y'all know that Jesus glow is real? Like, He makes you Oh my gosh, yes. 451 00:44:36,800.5567387 --> 00:44:39,630.5567387 He makes you glow, He makes you light up, just like Moses. 452 00:44:39,650.5567387 --> 00:44:44,150.5567387 Like, we see people light up, like, from the old life to, to them becoming new. 453 00:44:44,550.5567387 --> 00:44:53,420.5567387 It's just, it's a, it's an essence, it's a being, it's a thing that you hold that nobody can take away from you and that's what's beautiful about you, so. 454 00:44:54,70.5567387 --> 00:44:56,80.5567387 I love this conversation, Brittany, oh my gosh. 455 00:44:56,80.5567387 --> 00:44:56,920.5567387 Thank you for coming. 456 00:44:56,930.5557387 --> 00:44:59,10.5557387 Thanks for the gift that you're giving us. 457 00:44:59,570.5567387 --> 00:44:59,970.4557387 Yeah, yeah. 458 00:44:59,970.5557387 --> 00:45:01,160.5557387 Um, so exciting. 459 00:45:01,160.5557387 --> 00:45:03,310.5567387 Well, where can everybody find you? Like. 460 00:45:03,655.5567387 --> 00:45:07,860.9165118 If they want more of Brittany and to hear more about you, where can they find you? Yeah. 461 00:45:08,270.9165118 --> 00:45:12,250.9165118 Y'all can hang out with me on, uh, on my podcast on Faith Filled Food Freedom. 462 00:45:12,640.9155118 --> 00:45:21,880.9155118 Um, right now we have episodes that go out twice a week and we cover a lot, a lot of things from body image to gentle nutrition to food freedom and faith. 463 00:45:22,250.9165118 --> 00:45:23,560.9165118 Um, so it's a lot of fun. 464 00:45:23,570.9165118 --> 00:45:24,670.9165118 You can hang out with me there. 465 00:45:24,670.9165118 --> 00:45:29,760.9165118 And then if you have some specific questions on body image, um, hop over into our Facebook group. 466 00:45:29,760.9165118 --> 00:45:32,330.9165118 It's just food freedom and body image support for Christian women. 467 00:45:32,580.0351335 --> 00:45:34,780.0351335 It's a mouthful, but that's what it is. 468 00:45:35,60.0351335 --> 00:45:40,160.0351335 So, so you can come hang out with us there and you can like drop me a question, tag me in it. 469 00:45:40,230.0351335 --> 00:45:41,910.0351335 Um, I try to respond to everything. 470 00:45:42,0.0351335 --> 00:45:46,170.0351335 So love to come have you there and connect with other women who are going through the same thing. 471 00:45:46,805.0351335 --> 00:45:47,535.0351335 Amazing. 472 00:45:47,555.0351335 --> 00:45:49,635.0351335 I love, so grateful that you're in this ministry. 473 00:45:49,635.0351335 --> 00:45:50,675.0351335 It's so needed, Brittany. 474 00:45:50,675.0351335 --> 00:45:54,840.3797796 So I just want you to know how important the work that you're doing is, god bless you. 475 00:45:54,840.3797796 --> 00:45:55,860.3802796 I'm so excited. 476 00:45:55,860.3802796 --> 00:45:57,330.3802796 Like, thank you so much for this convo. 477 00:45:57,410.3802796 --> 00:45:57,920.3802796 So good. 478 00:45:58,510.3802796 --> 00:45:59,330.3797796 Thank you so much, Dani. 479 00:45:59,330.3797796 --> 00:46:02,880.3792796 I loved being here and, uh, excited to have you come on my show too. 480 00:46:03,120.3802796 --> 00:46:04,850.3802796 I know! Y'all look out for that. 481 00:46:04,860.3802796 --> 00:46:05,660.3802796 It's gonna be awesome. 482 00:46:05,977.8962899 --> 00:46:06,867.8962899 Hey, beautiful. 483 00:46:06,907.8962899 --> 00:46:10,477.8962899 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 484 00:46:10,777.8962899 --> 00:46:24,907.8962899 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 485 00:46:24,907.8962899 --> 00:46:30,307.8962899 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 486 00:46:30,582.8962899 --> 00:46:35,962.8962899 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 487 00:46:36,32.8962899 --> 00:46:36,452.8962899 Okay. 488 00:46:36,552.8962899 --> 00:46:39,122.8962899 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 489 00:46:39,282.8962899 --> 00:46:45,252.8962899 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.