March 17, 2025 • 29 mins
Hi beautiful! ♥️
Have you ever felt like you were “doing the work” to heal, but no matter how much time passed, you still felt stuck? Maybe you cut off men, got busy with self-improvement, or even convinced yourself you were over it—but deep down, the same wounds kept showing up in different ways.
Listen, I get it. I tried to heal the wrong way so many times. I thought I was getting stronger, when really, I was just avoiding, suppressing, or controlling my pain. But healing doesn’t happen through distraction, detachment, or even just “self-growth.” It happens when we do the deep, soul-level work with God.
So in today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the biggest mistakes I made in my healing journey—what didn’t work, and what finally led to real transformation. If you’re tired of going in circles and you’re ready for true freedom, this one’s for you.
This is where we stop playing small and start stepping into the healed, confident woman God created you to be.
See you on the inside!
Xo, Dani
JOIN THE COMMUNITY: https://whop.com/thehealingcircle/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, beautiful.
(00:02):
Welcome back to the show today.
We're going to mix it up a little.
I was just thinking about this as I was actually creating a TikTok and I was like, this is gonna be a whole podcast episode because there's so much that I learned in the roller coaster and the ups and downs and the routes that I took in regards to Bye.
(00:23):
.999what I thought I was doing to heal, but in actuality, it was not helping me at all when it came to truly doing the deep healing work.
.999And I think that there's a lot of lessons that you can glean from it, um, and I think it's, it's, it just speaks levels to what we're told works or what we're, um, encouraged to do when we go through heartbreak or when we experience trauma, all the things of avoiding, suppressing, and trying to control.
(00:53):
in different ways that just do not work.
.999It's the, it's the temporary fixes, um, that we really are attracted to that, at the end of the day, it doesn't create that deep transformative healing that we're all looking for. 9 00:01:09,319.999 --> 00:01:28,815 And so, if you ever felt like you were doing the work, you know, doing the things, growing, um, focusing on yourself, and really, you know, Healing, doing all the things that they say, but you still find yourself struggling and going back to old patterns, this is going to be the episode for you. 10 00:01:29,154.744559261 --> 00:01:33,824.744559261 I want to start off by sharing, you know, healing is not a straight path whatsoever. 11 00:01:34,134.744559261 --> 00:01:41,569.30342705 It's a up and down rollercoaster, it's a daily decision, and it's full of moments where we think that we've arrived. 12 00:01:42,204.30442705 --> 00:01:44,874.30442705 Only to realize that there's still more work to do. 13 00:01:45,354.30442705 --> 00:01:48,64.30442705 Um, and I just think this is, this is for everybody. 14 00:01:48,64.30442705 --> 00:01:52,154.30442705 I don't think that you ever actually arrive to this fully healed place. 15 00:01:52,454.30442705 --> 00:02:01,874.30442705 It is a daily decision to make choices that align with the version of you who is healed. 16 00:02:02,84.30442705 --> 00:02:03,694.30442705 Or who is choosing to heal. 17 00:02:03,997.235591 --> 00:02:05,437.235591 and So I want to get into. 18 00:02:05,676.77055477 --> 00:02:21,626.77055477 Really how these detours, or the way that I went that looked like the path of life, um, and how it turned out to be totally not what I expected, in hopes that you learned some things along the way. 19 00:02:21,806.77055477 --> 00:02:25,396.77155477 So, go ahead and grab your journal, I really am excited about this one. 20 00:02:25,636.77155477 --> 00:02:26,406.77155477 Let's get to it. 21 00:02:26,485.19925763 --> 00:02:27,685.19925763 Hey, beautiful. 22 00:02:27,725.19925763 --> 00:02:31,525.19925763 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 23 00:02:31,645.19925763 --> 00:02:54,345.19925763 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 24 00:02:54,395.19825763 --> 00:02:55,935.19825763 Well, sis, you're not alone. 25 00:02:56,5.19925763 --> 00:02:57,135.19925763 I've been there, too. 26 00:02:57,245.19925763 --> 00:03:04,415.19925763 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 27 00:03:04,535.19925763 --> 00:03:10,205.19925763 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 28 00:03:10,245.19925763 --> 00:03:15,675.19925763 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 29 00:03:15,715.19925763 --> 00:03:21,245.19925763 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 30 00:03:21,410.19925763 --> 00:03:36,590.19925763 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 31 00:03:36,730.19825763 --> 00:03:39,700.19925763 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 32 00:03:39,830.19925763 --> 00:03:45,850.19925763 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 33 00:03:46,251.33155477 --> 00:03:47,471.33155477 Sister, listen. 34 00:03:47,741.33155477 --> 00:03:59,251.33155477 Healing is not meant to be done alone, and I know what it's like to feel stuck like you're doing all the things but you still end up in the same freaking cycles. 35 00:03:59,751.33155477 --> 00:04:04,241.33155477 And honestly, half the battle is just having the right people around you. 36 00:04:04,461.33155477 --> 00:04:11,121.33155477 Women who get it, who are walking this journey with you, and who will actually call you higher. 37 00:04:11,361.33055477 --> 00:04:14,281.33155477 And this is exactly why I started the Healing Circle. 38 00:04:14,521.33155477 --> 00:04:19,411.33155477 It's our space to get real, to grow, and to actually heal. 39 00:04:19,726.33155477 --> 00:04:21,256.33155477 For real? No, like for real. 40 00:04:21,586.33155477 --> 00:04:23,506.33155477 So it's no surface level stuff. 41 00:04:23,506.33155477 --> 00:04:23,626.33155477 No. 42 00:04:23,626.33155477 --> 00:04:24,616.33155477 Doing it alone. 43 00:04:24,796.33155477 --> 00:04:40,6.33155477 This is really a free gift to you, a community of women who are also in the same boat as you, ready to break free to rebuild their life and to step into the woman and confidence that God has for them. 44 00:04:40,327.43326058 --> 00:04:48,157.43326058 So if you're tired of feeling stuck and you want to do healing in a community, and you wanna put what we're talking about on the podcast. 45 00:04:48,302.43326058 --> 00:04:52,212.43326058 into practice, P S, this is where transformation happens. 46 00:04:52,462.43326058 --> 00:04:53,932.43326058 Then come hang out with us. 47 00:04:53,972.43326058 --> 00:04:55,702.43326058 Go to WOP. 48 00:04:56,232.43326058 --> 00:04:58,482.43326058 com forward slash The Healing Circle. 49 00:04:58,772.43326058 --> 00:05:03,972.43226058 That's WOP, W H O P dot com forward slash The Healing Circle. 50 00:05:04,129.20421931 --> 00:05:05,479.20421931 Once you come in, don't be shy. 51 00:05:05,479.20421931 --> 00:05:09,619.20421931 Go ahead and introduce yourself, and I can't wait to get to know you on a deeper level. 52 00:05:09,826.70987882 --> 00:05:26,36.70887882 Okay, so I know I typically share a little bit of a story in the beginning before diving into the lessons but I'm gonna weave my story throughout these lessons just because of the Structure in the heart of this episode all right, so right off the gate, we're starting hot. 53 00:05:26,366.70787882 --> 00:05:38,202.44652203 So this first lesson, and really that I, that I want you to learn from my mistake, is I chose to numb, My pain with men and with emotional detachment. 54 00:05:38,822.44652203 --> 00:05:41,112.44652203 And so, I'm gonna share what I mean by this. 55 00:05:41,132.44652203 --> 00:05:44,782.44652203 You know, I was, at the time, like, moving into college. 56 00:05:45,122.44652203 --> 00:05:48,692.44552203 And I believed this lie that was so prevalent then. 57 00:05:48,702.44652203 --> 00:05:51,872.44652203 Like, the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 58 00:05:52,202.44652203 --> 00:05:54,692.44652203 And I believed that. 59 00:05:54,722.44652203 --> 00:06:16,739.13455473 And the crazy, like, the crazy distorted, truth that I was actually living out in my life was I felt like if I could be sexual with a man and then not have any emotion attachment to that, then I was a powerful woman. 60 00:06:16,929.13455473 --> 00:06:20,219.13355473 And this was proof that I was healed. 61 00:06:20,718.55255478 --> 00:06:24,218.55255478 it's the craziest thing, but maybe you can relate with that. 62 00:06:24,608.55155478 --> 00:06:31,698.55255478 Um, but I, the reason why I went this route is because one, nobody taught me how to deal with my emotions. 63 00:06:31,698.55255478 --> 00:06:35,638.55255478 They didn't, I didn't, I didn't have, I didn't, I didn't have a Space. 64 00:06:35,638.55255478 --> 00:06:47,735.9662841 I didn't know how to create a space, um, with myself to actually identify the toxic relationship tendencies that I experienced or the betrayal that I experienced. 65 00:06:47,735.9662841 --> 00:06:54,395.9662841 It was all overlooked and suppressed and move past, um, and how it affected me. 66 00:06:54,815.9662841 --> 00:06:59,75.9662841 And we do this a lot because we don't. 67 00:06:59,825.9662841 --> 00:07:02,315.9662841 Know how to deal with it. 68 00:07:02,315.9662841 --> 00:07:15,884.41544211 So instead of dealing with it, we just do what we see our parents do, and we just sweep it under the under the rug, or we just act like we're fine when in reality we're not. 69 00:07:15,944.41544211 --> 00:07:21,764.41544211 But we believe that we are because we just file. 70 00:07:21,948.07270002 --> 00:07:49,158.21880482 the, the pain and the trauma and the situation away in a compartment in our mind that we don't have to, bring attention to and so I know that there's some women hearing me right now that you might be Currently what I was in you might be a man hater like you really might Believe that all men suck that they're all pigs and that you don't need a man And if that's you, I see you, and I feel you on a deep level because I was you. 71 00:07:49,588.21880482 --> 00:08:03,188.21880482 And I know that you can trick yourself into thinking that, Oh, this makes you a powerful woman, or you hold the power now because you don't have this emotional attachment to men, therefore they can't hurt you. 72 00:08:03,368.21880482 --> 00:08:09,238.21880482 So you have to understand that that is just a defensive mechanism. 73 00:08:09,628.21880482 --> 00:08:12,398.21880482 Yeah, like I was just talking to a friend. 74 00:08:13,838.92642327 --> 00:08:35,428.92642327 And she was telling me, oh, I'm about to leave, leave my boyfriend because of this XYZ, and I was asking her some questions to, to uncover what's behind that, and I shared with her, I shared with her, look, I think that because you experienced abandonment from your dad, you are, you're running away from him. 75 00:08:37,203.92642327 --> 00:08:44,703.92642327 You're running away from the conflict because you're, there's discomfort in facing the conflict head on and to resolve it. 76 00:08:44,953.92642327 --> 00:08:54,353.92642327 And so this is just a protective mechanism that you're, falling into right now because you think it's easier to just run away. 77 00:08:54,663.92642327 --> 00:09:04,173.92642327 From it, before you get hurt, versus addressing it and being vulnerable and sharing with your boyfriend what's really going on underneath the surface. 78 00:09:04,470.03963218 --> 00:09:07,680.03863218 And she was like, oh my gosh, you are so right. 79 00:09:07,910.03963218 --> 00:09:13,130.03863218 And I was like, you have to get to a point where, and dating is definitely different than like marriage, 100%. 80 00:09:14,710.03963218 --> 00:09:19,620.03963218 But, in this instance, I know she's in a healthy relationship, because I know both of them. 81 00:09:20,26.32088224 --> 00:09:36,956.13483524 So I was, I was being more objective and I was using what she was going through, aka a trigger, as a teaching moment for her to lean into what her, what her responses is telling herself in the present moment, that is reflecting what happened to her in the past. 82 00:09:37,436.13483524 --> 00:10:00,146.13483524 I hope I said that, like, in a way that makes sense, but I use it as a moment to, to, for her to, like, sit with the hurt her, you know, the her that was, the daughter that was hurt by her, by her dad, um, and so that way this, this relationship and this situation, it didn't have to turn out the same way as, as, um, that did. 83 00:10:01,575.36056823 --> 00:10:27,789.51054309 Understanding and being able to identify what your triggers are telling you is, is huge because it can There's a lot of freedom that comes from that and I'm getting ahead of myself, but I just, I had to share that example with you because you may not be a man hater, you may be in a relationship right now where you are, um, like you're, you're, you're fight or flight and maybe you lean more, more towards, flight mode. 84 00:10:28,157.19997342 --> 00:10:29,177.19997342 To protect yourself. 85 00:10:29,177.19997342 --> 00:10:50,727.19997342 So ultimately this emotional detachment and trying to numb yourself and say that you don't care It's all a protective mechanism because you've been hurt in the past and you're trying to protect your heart From getting hurt again and from being vulnerable and and really naked which in a marriage you Gotta be you gotta be naked. 86 00:10:50,737.19997342 --> 00:11:14,54.96934379 You got to strip down naked and be super super honest with with everything That's going on in your mind So, that went on for about five years, where I was in this numbness and detachment mode, and I realized, okay, well the thing that I thought made me strong was actually making me empty and was actually stealing from me. 87 00:11:14,744.97034379 --> 00:11:23,924.97034379 I say this all the time, like, I don't have regrets in my life, except that if I could change one thing in my life, it would be waiting until marriage. 88 00:11:24,935.45564471 --> 00:12:11,742.45244564 Even with all the other things that I've done, like, that's the one thing, because it's, it sticks with you, and there's just no, no point in it, like, you could save yourself a lot of heartache and, um, honestly, hard conversations that happen later with your future husband if you've abstained from that, and there's just so much confusion, Um, an entanglement that happens when you do enter into sexual relationship with somebody that is just not necessary and that is literally saved and meant for your future husband because it is It's so pure and so beautiful and really perfect in the context of marriage because that's the way God designed it. 89 00:12:12,218.16569376 --> 00:12:21,698.16569376 And so what I want you to glean from this is understand that having a, not having emotions and not caring does not make you powerful. 90 00:12:22,112.61012989 --> 00:12:28,442.61112989 It's actually a signal that you're building walls up around your heart, which walls. 91 00:12:28,932.61112989 --> 00:12:35,42.61112989 Or barriers, it's keeping things from yeah from getting in but also from getting things out. 92 00:12:35,272.61112989 --> 00:12:46,822.61112989 Like typically when you have these barriers, you're not wanting anybody to see what you're really going through, therefore you're not inviting anybody to, to sit, to sit with you and to listen to you and help you process the pain. 93 00:12:47,142.61012989 --> 00:12:51,472.61112989 And you're not just blocking out the bad, but you're also blocking out the good. 94 00:12:51,482.61112989 --> 00:12:58,412.61112989 And this is hindering you from receiving the type of love God wants you to experience. 95 00:12:58,976.67391591 --> 00:13:10,966.67391591 And this is just a dangerous place to be in, this is a counterfeit, this is not the way that, this is not living of the free life that God, um, wants and wants to give you to live. 96 00:13:11,466.67391591 --> 00:13:18,676.67391591 And so the lesson in this, you have to understand that healing isn't about proving that you don't care. 97 00:13:19,51.67391591 --> 00:13:27,421.67391591 It's learning to feel again without fear, being able to open your heart and not close it off. 98 00:13:28,26.8403896 --> 00:13:31,276.8403896 That is an indication that you were on the path to healing. 99 00:13:31,286.8403896 --> 00:13:43,66.8403896 You being able to be vulnerable and to, and to let your emotions come up and not to fear them, but to lean into them and to help them teach you about yourself. 100 00:13:43,384.46322313 --> 00:13:51,4.46322313 About what you need in that moment, and then the next level is being able to communicate what's going on when you are in a relationship. 101 00:13:51,789.20210116 --> 00:13:53,319.20210116 So that's lesson number one. 102 00:13:53,709.20210116 --> 00:14:09,229.20210116 Now, experience number two that where I thought that I was healing was I was super hyper fixated on self improvement and I thought it was the same thing as healing from my past and moving on from my past. 103 00:14:09,369.20110116 --> 00:14:15,379.20210116 And so I did step into an environment where I was surrounded by high achieving entrepreneurs like people who. 104 00:14:15,514.20210116 --> 00:14:20,524.20210116 Thought on a higher level than me who was making so much more money than I ever thought possible. 105 00:14:20,554.20210116 --> 00:14:27,454.20210116 And who had rich in, who were rich in relationships, who spoke differently, and it, I was definitely inspired. 106 00:14:27,454.20210116 --> 00:14:28,399.20210116 This was a time in my life where. 107 00:14:29,114.20210116 --> 00:14:46,797.46505689 So much growth happened for me and I'm, I loved this part of my life, um, and I had made a decision to say, you know what, you know, I've been living distracted, you know, I've been giving my attention to, to men, and to things that aren't helping me become the best woman that I needed to be. 108 00:14:47,27.46505689 --> 00:14:58,177.46505689 So I became celibate, I was not even worried about men, I was solely focused on myself and I went all in on my personal development and business and mindset. 109 00:14:58,702.46505689 --> 00:15:11,503.88829908 And what came out of that was I was building confidence and I was, I was strengthening my belief in what I was capable of, but my wounds and my pain, it was still there buried under the busyness. 110 00:15:12,303.88829908 --> 00:15:13,183.88829908 Hear me when I say that. 111 00:15:13,203.88829908 --> 00:15:14,703.88829908 Maybe you identify with this right now. 112 00:15:14,713.88829908 --> 00:15:16,163.88829908 You are a high achieving woman. 113 00:15:16,363.88829908 --> 00:15:18,123.88829908 You've, you've got a schedule packed. 114 00:15:18,333.88829908 --> 00:15:22,623.88829908 Maybe you even tell yourself, I love to always be doing something. 115 00:15:23,298.88829908 --> 00:15:25,918.88829908 That is an indication that there is unhealed trauma. 116 00:15:26,148.88829908 --> 00:15:42,641.31182795 If you are a person who is just always longing to do something, you don't want to sit in silence or stillness, you're afraid of that, you, you have to, you have your identity in your schedule, in your to do list, in getting things, finished and done and being packed, there is something going on there. 117 00:15:43,400.13610761 --> 00:16:11,307.14148208 Okay, maybe is it, is it distracting? Is it distracting yourself with being productive instead of dealing with the pain? Is it moving so fast to where it doesn't show up for you, right? Like you are super hyper focused, um, on you and you getting to the next level in your life and this is cutting out, the moments of attention to the pain so you can be intentional with healing from them. 118 00:16:12,341.08112879 --> 00:16:21,871.08112879 So the wounds, they didn't just disappear because I wasn't paying any attention to them, they just got suppressed until something triggered them. 119 00:16:22,341.08112879 --> 00:16:28,741.08112879 I'm going to get to that in a second, but the lesson that I want you to learn from this is you cannot just outgrow your pain. 120 00:16:29,586.80637164 --> 00:16:30,936.80537164 You have to face it. 121 00:16:31,699.35569019 --> 00:16:36,699.35469019 Because if you don't face it, it's going to show up in your next relationship. 122 00:16:36,699.35469019 --> 00:16:39,989.35569019 It's going to show up at your next level of success. 123 00:16:40,271.9486521 --> 00:16:42,231.9486521 It's going to show up when you're someone's boss. 124 00:16:42,311.9486521 --> 00:16:43,361.9486521 It's going to show up. 125 00:16:43,852.8149673 --> 00:16:45,232.8149673 Emotions demand to be felt. 126 00:16:45,662.8149673 --> 00:16:50,292.8149673 And when they're suppressed for so long, oh, you're going to have a moment where, where, where the box explodes. 127 00:16:50,938.9764461 --> 00:16:55,598.9764461 And so, I want you to know that success is not the thing that is going to heal your wounds. 128 00:16:56,358.9754461 --> 00:16:59,938.9754461 Busyness does not replace emotional work. 129 00:17:00,558.9764461 --> 00:17:08,186.9031162 You can be winning on the outside, which a lot of people are, but still very broken on the inside. 130 00:17:08,739.1038178 --> 00:17:11,479.1038178 And that's not where I want you and that's not where God wants you. 131 00:17:11,879.1038178 --> 00:17:16,948.7346444 And this leads me into my third experience of where I thought that I was healing. 132 00:17:17,218.7346444 --> 00:17:26,568.7346444 So of course at this time I was like, oh I'm on top of the world, I'm great, I'm growing, um, I'm thinking differently, things are working out for me. 133 00:17:26,928.7346444 --> 00:17:35,669.4254462 And I found myself in a relationship with a man, my now husband, with a man who genuinely loved me. 134 00:17:37,479.5254462 --> 00:17:40,869.5254462 And I thought that I was ready. 135 00:17:41,539.5254462 --> 00:17:42,769.5254462 No, I, that's a lie. 136 00:17:42,769.5254462 --> 00:17:45,489.5254462 I didn't even, I didn't even think that I was ready. 137 00:17:46,119.5254462 --> 00:17:51,119.5254462 Um, I knew I wasn't ready, but I, I thought I could just live that way. 138 00:17:51,129.5254462 --> 00:17:54,829.5254462 Like I thought we could just continue and I can be in this relationship and it was all going to be good. 139 00:17:54,829.5254462 --> 00:17:56,859.5254462 I didn't have to change anything about myself. 140 00:17:57,189.5254462 --> 00:17:57,999.5254462 Cause I was cool. 141 00:17:58,9.5254462 --> 00:17:58,829.5254462 Like, cool. 142 00:17:58,859.5254462 --> 00:17:59,639.5254462 We can date. 143 00:17:59,649.5254462 --> 00:18:00,609.5254462 Like that's fine. 144 00:18:01,259.5254462 --> 00:18:02,169.5254462 Funny story. 145 00:18:02,209.5254462 --> 00:18:03,269.5254462 Side note. 146 00:18:03,314.6254462 --> 00:18:08,494.5254462 So, my sister was actually the one that said, Are you guys dating or what? Sissy, it's time. 147 00:18:08,494.5254462 --> 00:18:09,234.5254462 You guys are dating. 148 00:18:09,244.5254462 --> 00:18:13,194.5254462 And then that made us officially titled boyfriend girlfriend. 149 00:18:13,224.5254462 --> 00:18:13,694.5254462 Anyway. 150 00:18:14,854.5254462 --> 00:18:15,514.5254462 Um, yeah. 151 00:18:15,514.5254462 --> 00:18:17,664.5254462 I was not ready for any of it. 152 00:18:18,4.5254462 --> 00:18:22,874.5254462 Um, but, God just has a funny way of working out in the little details. 153 00:18:23,387.6325135 --> 00:18:23,677.6325135 yeah. 154 00:18:23,677.7325135 --> 00:18:26,887.6325135 There was a moment where he confronted me about my pride. 155 00:18:27,177.6325135 --> 00:18:55,547.6325135 And this was the moment that really changed things for me because up until that point, right, like, I've read so many, I've read different self help books, like, how to build good habits, how to better myself, how to think on a higher level, but being, being told something about yourself that's not pretty, it's like having a mirror up to you and it's like, oh, wow, For the first time, I felt like I was being told about myself in a very personal way. 156 00:18:56,257.6325135 --> 00:19:01,987.6325135 And that just opened a whole, whole, whole thing. 157 00:19:02,597.6325135 --> 00:19:09,527.6325135 Um, and it was the best thing that, that happened to me because this prompted my actual healing journey. 158 00:19:11,137.6325135 --> 00:19:16,417.6325135 Because I, what I was, what I realized at that point was I had no idea. 159 00:19:16,772.6325135 --> 00:19:21,662.6325135 How to be a healthy partner, really even a healthy like human. 160 00:19:22,542.6325135 --> 00:19:30,542.6325135 I was super defensive, I was controlling, and I was still carrying this past pain and it was exposed through my pride. 161 00:19:31,497.4719653 --> 00:19:35,636.1638292 And so, with all that, it started my relationship with God. 162 00:19:35,636.1638292 --> 00:19:40,666.1648292 I was reading my Bible, we were doing Bible studies together, but I was still trying to control. 163 00:19:41,51.1648292 --> 00:19:44,261.1648292 My life and I hit this breaking point. 164 00:19:44,381.1648292 --> 00:20:16,151.1648292 I was exhausted I was from trying to control everything my life my emotions my relationships and I was like, I need you God And this is where I I believe that's where I really got saved I experienced the Holy Spirit and I was truly changed and transformed from the inside out I felt a new life in me a new purpose joy a level of peace and just patience and being able to This new ability to forgive other people and even myself, all of this was found when I, when I found Jesus. 165 00:20:16,481.1648292 --> 00:20:19,531.1638292 And this is where the transformation was happening. 166 00:20:19,691.1648292 --> 00:20:27,241.1648292 And so, the lesson in this is, is healing doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't have to, a few lessons here. 167 00:20:28,146.1648292 --> 00:20:32,596.1648292 You don't have to be healed to move into a healthy relationship. 168 00:20:32,616.1648292 --> 00:20:42,56.1648292 It's a good idea to get in this mindset of, okay, being aware of how to heal and what trauma you're bringing into a relationship. 169 00:20:42,232.9481003 --> 00:20:54,212.9481003 Because you might not have to be healed to move into a healthy relationship, but you have to make the active decision to heal to sustain and build a healthy relationship. 170 00:20:54,628.9243842 --> 00:21:02,8.9253842 And the real healing begins when you let God into the places that you've been trying to fix on your own. 171 00:21:02,326.0897683 --> 00:21:08,326.0897683 And in the places that you've, you've, you've been suppressive, you've been running away from, you've, you've been trying to distract yourself with. 172 00:21:08,798.6682348 --> 00:21:13,498.6682348 this includes forgiving yourself and forgiving the people who hurt you. 173 00:21:13,818.6672348 --> 00:21:19,168.6682348 This is where true freedom is gonna be found and where you're gonna find lasting transformation. 174 00:21:19,178.6682348 --> 00:21:23,358.6682348 It only comes when you surrender to God and you let go of that control. 175 00:21:24,12.8332561 --> 00:21:30,974.2275897 You can make it, you can only make it so far in a relationship before really, you really have to depend on God. 176 00:21:31,967.0719832 --> 00:21:35,387.0729832 And so, of course, walk with the Lord, things are great. 177 00:21:35,753.3956118 --> 00:21:43,283.3956118 And things come up still, right? Like I'm still being triggered and I'm still working out, working out my faith with God. 178 00:21:43,823.3946118 --> 00:21:47,703.3956118 And I realized, like, okay, well I've been walking with the Lord. 179 00:21:47,703.3956118 --> 00:21:49,303.3956118 I even gave my life to Christ. 180 00:21:49,363.3946118 --> 00:21:51,293.3946118 And I experienced this deep healing. 181 00:21:51,803.3946118 --> 00:21:58,423.3956118 But I still, there was still a gap because I didn't know how to be a loving, Emotionally mature partner. 182 00:21:58,833.3956118 --> 00:22:00,723.3956118 Like, nobody taught me this. 183 00:22:00,723.3956118 --> 00:22:02,663.3956118 And I definitely didn't learn it from my parents. 184 00:22:02,663.3956118 --> 00:22:04,63.3956118 I learned quite the opposite. 185 00:22:04,503.3956118 --> 00:22:07,543.3956118 And so I, I found myself, I didn't know how to communicate my needs. 186 00:22:07,543.3956118 --> 00:22:12,243.3956118 I was still hesitant on being totally open and transparent. 187 00:22:13,53.3946118 --> 00:22:16,723.3956118 And I leaned more towards just being petty or silent or distant. 188 00:22:17,63.3956118 --> 00:22:18,693.3956118 Um, or yelling out of anger. 189 00:22:19,23.3956118 --> 00:22:22,573.3956118 Like, this was just my habits, what I was used to. 190 00:22:22,793.3956118 --> 00:22:25,483.3946118 So maybe you find yourself here, you know. 191 00:22:25,880.4044282 --> 00:22:35,537.770794 Maybe you find yourself thinking that love is a feeling, it's a passion, and not a choice, and a commitment. 192 00:22:36,44.1439564 --> 00:22:42,994.1439564 And maybe you have a wrong idea of what love is, and this is why I love the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. 193 00:22:43,384.7906231 --> 00:22:44,284.7906231 Love is patient. 194 00:22:44,284.7906231 --> 00:22:45,74.7906231 Love is kind. 195 00:22:45,74.7906231 --> 00:22:46,144.7906231 It does not envy. 196 00:22:46,404.7906231 --> 00:22:47,314.7906231 It does not boast. 197 00:22:47,334.7906231 --> 00:22:48,304.7906231 It is not proud. 198 00:22:48,304.7906231 --> 00:22:50,34.7896231 It does not dishonor others. 199 00:22:50,324.7906231 --> 00:22:52,204.7906231 It is not self seeking. 200 00:22:52,214.7896231 --> 00:22:53,194.7896231 That one hit me. 201 00:22:53,564.7906231 --> 00:22:55,94.7906231 It is not easily angered. 202 00:22:55,104.7906231 --> 00:22:56,764.7906231 It keeps no record of wrongs. 203 00:22:56,934.7896231 --> 00:22:59,934.7906231 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 204 00:23:00,264.7906231 --> 00:23:05,604.7906231 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. 205 00:23:05,924.7906231 --> 00:23:08,64.7906231 Love never fails. 206 00:23:08,823.5091416 --> 00:23:13,743.5091416 Versus what I had, what my actions were saying up to that point, like, love is conditional. 207 00:23:13,943.5091416 --> 00:23:16,663.5091416 I have an escape plan, I have an escape route. 208 00:23:16,903.5091416 --> 00:23:30,305.2289262 Um, I, it's okay for me to lash out in anger if, If he upsets me or if he does something that hurts me, I was ready to, to sabotage at the slightest sign of inconvenience. 209 00:23:30,625.2289262 --> 00:23:36,475.2289262 And these are just, these are learned behaviors and this is your past trauma speaking. 210 00:23:36,505.2279262 --> 00:23:39,295.2279262 And so Jesus a hundred percent is the ultimate healer. 211 00:23:39,645.2279262 --> 00:23:44,945.6083545 And he also gives us, tools and mentors to be able to help us regulate. 212 00:23:45,145.6083545 --> 00:23:50,855.6083545 The gifts he's given us, aka our emotions, because our emotions are not demonic. 213 00:23:50,855.6083545 --> 00:23:51,885.6083545 They're not bad. 214 00:23:52,225.6083545 --> 00:23:53,805.6073545 They just are. 215 00:23:54,155.6083545 --> 00:23:57,285.6073545 And we have them and they're a gift from God. 216 00:23:57,315.6073545 --> 00:24:04,55.6083545 And we have to learn how to, how to live with and operate when big emotions come up. 217 00:24:04,323.9639101 --> 00:24:07,773.9639101 And so maybe you notice yourself being triggered. 218 00:24:08,413.9639101 --> 00:24:18,303.9639101 And you use those triggers to, you use those triggers as an excuse to lash out instead of seeing them as teachers for your growth. 219 00:24:18,702.1046248 --> 00:24:29,269.8634321 maybe you're making your partner responsible for your emotions instead of learning how to process them on your own separate from him. 220 00:24:29,792.7782706 --> 00:24:42,282.7772706 And maybe inviting him in and letting him know what's going on with you and giving him that opportunity to love you and to serve you in that moment because maybe you're afraid of being vulnerable or maybe you just don't know how to express it. 221 00:24:42,635.1840453 --> 00:24:57,305.1840453 So the lesson I want you to learn here that, about healing, is that healing isn't just about feeling better, right? Whenever I feel better, when it doesn't hurt, this means that I've been healed from it. 222 00:24:57,905.1840453 --> 00:25:02,605.1840453 No, it's about, it's about the decision to act better. 223 00:25:03,125.1840453 --> 00:25:10,905.1840453 The decision to not respond out of anger, but to respond with a quiet spirit and a humble spirit. 224 00:25:11,175.1840453 --> 00:25:16,725.1830453 To distance yourself from what's causing you, your emotions to rise up. 225 00:25:17,8.6232887 --> 00:25:19,757.8571051 And seek, seek the wise response. 226 00:25:20,655.5482197 --> 00:25:22,825.5482197 That is an indication that you are healing. 227 00:25:23,804.0972135 --> 00:25:33,655.2529956 Love isn't just about what you receive, right? We all, we all want to be in love, we want to get love, we want to feel love, but love is about what you give. 228 00:25:34,550.4691341 --> 00:25:40,300.4681341 Getting to this place where you know that, and this puts you in a better, this positions you to be a better partner. 229 00:25:41,234.999257 --> 00:25:50,995.000257 And then, knowing that emotional maturity, is learning to regulate yourself instead of expecting others to do it for you. 230 00:25:51,85.000257 --> 00:25:59,344.999257 Putting the responsibility on them and grabbing and holding that responsibility all to yourself because it is your responsibility. 231 00:25:59,495.000257 --> 00:26:13,445.000257 The longer that you give and you place the responsibility of how other people are making you respond, the longer it's in their hands, the longer that it's going to take you to actually experience the deep healing that God wants to give you. 232 00:26:14,145.000257 --> 00:26:35,624.9018195 So to recap, lesson number one, you want to go from numbing your pain and emotional detachment to understanding that healing isn't about proving that you don't care and not feeling your emotions, but it's about learning to feel again without fear and being open and vulnerable. 233 00:26:36,398.1956476 --> 00:26:45,548.1956476 Lesson number two, you want to go from hyper focusing on self improvement to understanding that you cannot outgrow your pain. 234 00:26:45,558.1956476 --> 00:26:47,68.1946476 You have to face it. 235 00:26:47,328.1956476 --> 00:26:52,608.1946476 You can't pile up your, your, your days with things to do. 236 00:26:52,618.1956476 --> 00:26:55,688.1956476 You have to have time to just sit and to be. 237 00:26:55,980.4147882 --> 00:26:58,990.4147882 external success isn't the thing that's going to heal your wounds. 238 00:26:59,234.2379248 --> 00:27:01,884.2379248 You still have to face what you've been suppressing. 239 00:27:02,132.708301 --> 00:27:25,242.707301 Lesson number three, you don't want to rely on a man or somebody else or when you get into a healthy relationship to help you heal, but you want to start that healing process with God because he is going to do that deep internal healing that is necessary for you to be healthy yourself in and outside of the context of a relationship. 240 00:27:25,732.7206343 --> 00:27:35,2.7206343 And then lesson number four, you can be a Christian and love Jesus and still be dealing with unhealed trauma. 241 00:27:35,512.7206343 --> 00:27:53,755.7349416 And so learning to regulate your emotions, learning to love and learning to, how to have your triggers become your teachers are all practical ways for you To make the decision to be proactive in your healing journey and not just waiting until you feel better. 242 00:27:53,805.7349416 --> 00:27:59,12.5371367 Because healing is not about feeling better, it's about acting better. 243 00:27:59,307.4633074 --> 00:28:00,807.4633074 Healing is not linear. 244 00:28:00,817.4633074 --> 00:28:02,427.4633074 It never will be. 245 00:28:02,747.4633074 --> 00:28:10,847.4633074 It is going to be full of mistakes, wrong turns, detours, hard lessons, and very humbling moments. 246 00:28:10,847.5633074 --> 00:28:16,247.4633074 But it's those moments, as long as you learn from them, then you're on the path of wisdom. 247 00:28:16,945.6349652 --> 00:28:22,115.6349652 And if you want somebody to walk alongside you on this journey, girl, I would love it. 248 00:28:22,195.6349652 --> 00:28:34,485.6339652 I love, love, love helping my sisters in Christ do these things, put these things into action and just being able to hold you accountable and bringing you support, answering your questions. 249 00:28:34,485.6349652 --> 00:28:41,15.6349652 So if you have any questions from this or you want to put this into practice, come join us over in the Healing Circle. 250 00:28:41,255.6349652 --> 00:28:42,545.6349652 It's a free community. 251 00:28:42,801.7154842 --> 00:28:44,331.7154842 You can join at WOP. 252 00:28:44,661.7154842 --> 00:28:46,791.7154842 com forward slash the healing circle. 253 00:28:47,1.7154842 --> 00:28:49,291.7154842 That's WOP, W H O P. 254 00:28:49,621.7154842 --> 00:28:51,801.7144842 com forward slash the healing circle. 255 00:28:52,121.7154842 --> 00:28:54,761.7154842 And I will see you guys in there. 256 00:28:54,791.7154842 --> 00:28:56,541.7154842 If not, I will see you back here. 257 00:28:56,771.7154842 --> 00:28:59,41.7154842 Same place, same time next week. 258 00:28:59,411.7154842 --> 00:28:59,871.7154842 Bye. 259 00:29:00,179.5903937 --> 00:29:01,69.5903937 Hey, beautiful. 260 00:29:01,109.5903937 --> 00:29:04,679.5903937 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 261 00:29:04,979.5903937 --> 00:29:19,109.5903937 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 262 00:29:19,109.5903937 --> 00:29:24,509.5903937 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 263 00:29:24,784.5903937 --> 00:29:30,164.5903937 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 264 00:29:30,234.5903937 --> 00:29:30,654.5903937 Okay. 265 00:29:30,754.5903937 --> 00:29:33,324.5903937 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 266 00:29:33,484.5903937 --> 00:29:39,454.5903937 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
Hello, beautiful.
(00:02):
Welcome back to the show today.
We're going to mix it up a little.
I was just thinking about this as I was actually creating a TikTok and I was like, this is gonna be a whole podcast episode because there's so much that I learned in the roller coaster and the ups and downs and the routes that I took in regards to Bye.
(00:23):
.999what I thought I was doing to heal, but in actuality, it was not helping me at all when it came to truly doing the deep healing work.
.999And I think that there's a lot of lessons that you can glean from it, um, and I think it's, it's, it just speaks levels to what we're told works or what we're, um, encouraged to do when we go through heartbreak or when we experience trauma, all the things of avoiding, suppressing, and trying to control.
(00:53):
in different ways that just do not work.
.999It's the, it's the temporary fixes, um, that we really are attracted to that, at the end of the day, it doesn't create that deep transformative healing that we're all looking for. 9 00:01:09,319.999 --> 00:01:28,815 And so, if you ever felt like you were doing the work, you know, doing the things, growing, um, focusing on yourself, and really, you know, Healing, doing all the things that they say, but you still find yourself struggling and going back to old patterns, this is going to be the episode for you. 10 00:01:29,154.744559261 --> 00:01:33,824.744559261 I want to start off by sharing, you know, healing is not a straight path whatsoever. 11 00:01:34,134.744559261 --> 00:01:41,569.30342705 It's a up and down rollercoaster, it's a daily decision, and it's full of moments where we think that we've arrived. 12 00:01:42,204.30442705 --> 00:01:44,874.30442705 Only to realize that there's still more work to do. 13 00:01:45,354.30442705 --> 00:01:48,64.30442705 Um, and I just think this is, this is for everybody. 14 00:01:48,64.30442705 --> 00:01:52,154.30442705 I don't think that you ever actually arrive to this fully healed place. 15 00:01:52,454.30442705 --> 00:02:01,874.30442705 It is a daily decision to make choices that align with the version of you who is healed. 16 00:02:02,84.30442705 --> 00:02:03,694.30442705 Or who is choosing to heal. 17 00:02:03,997.235591 --> 00:02:05,437.235591 and So I want to get into. 18 00:02:05,676.77055477 --> 00:02:21,626.77055477 Really how these detours, or the way that I went that looked like the path of life, um, and how it turned out to be totally not what I expected, in hopes that you learned some things along the way. 19 00:02:21,806.77055477 --> 00:02:25,396.77155477 So, go ahead and grab your journal, I really am excited about this one. 20 00:02:25,636.77155477 --> 00:02:26,406.77155477 Let's get to it. 21 00:02:26,485.19925763 --> 00:02:27,685.19925763 Hey, beautiful. 22 00:02:27,725.19925763 --> 00:02:31,525.19925763 Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 23 00:02:31,645.19925763 --> 00:02:54,345.19925763 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 24 00:02:54,395.19825763 --> 00:02:55,935.19825763 Well, sis, you're not alone. 25 00:02:56,5.19925763 --> 00:02:57,135.19925763 I've been there, too. 26 00:02:57,245.19925763 --> 00:03:04,415.19925763 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 27 00:03:04,535.19925763 --> 00:03:10,205.19925763 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships. 28 00:03:10,245.19925763 --> 00:03:15,675.19925763 And searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 29 00:03:15,715.19925763 --> 00:03:21,245.19925763 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 30 00:03:21,410.19925763 --> 00:03:36,590.19925763 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 31 00:03:36,730.19825763 --> 00:03:39,700.19925763 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 32 00:03:39,830.19925763 --> 00:03:45,850.19925763 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 33 00:03:46,251.33155477 --> 00:03:47,471.33155477 Sister, listen. 34 00:03:47,741.33155477 --> 00:03:59,251.33155477 Healing is not meant to be done alone, and I know what it's like to feel stuck like you're doing all the things but you still end up in the same freaking cycles. 35 00:03:59,751.33155477 --> 00:04:04,241.33155477 And honestly, half the battle is just having the right people around you. 36 00:04:04,461.33155477 --> 00:04:11,121.33155477 Women who get it, who are walking this journey with you, and who will actually call you higher. 37 00:04:11,361.33055477 --> 00:04:14,281.33155477 And this is exactly why I started the Healing Circle. 38 00:04:14,521.33155477 --> 00:04:19,411.33155477 It's our space to get real, to grow, and to actually heal. 39 00:04:19,726.33155477 --> 00:04:21,256.33155477 For real? No, like for real. 40 00:04:21,586.33155477 --> 00:04:23,506.33155477 So it's no surface level stuff. 41 00:04:23,506.33155477 --> 00:04:23,626.33155477 No. 42 00:04:23,626.33155477 --> 00:04:24,616.33155477 Doing it alone. 43 00:04:24,796.33155477 --> 00:04:40,6.33155477 This is really a free gift to you, a community of women who are also in the same boat as you, ready to break free to rebuild their life and to step into the woman and confidence that God has for them. 44 00:04:40,327.43326058 --> 00:04:48,157.43326058 So if you're tired of feeling stuck and you want to do healing in a community, and you wanna put what we're talking about on the podcast. 45 00:04:48,302.43326058 --> 00:04:52,212.43326058 into practice, P S, this is where transformation happens. 46 00:04:52,462.43326058 --> 00:04:53,932.43326058 Then come hang out with us. 47 00:04:53,972.43326058 --> 00:04:55,702.43326058 Go to WOP. 48 00:04:56,232.43326058 --> 00:04:58,482.43326058 com forward slash The Healing Circle. 49 00:04:58,772.43326058 --> 00:05:03,972.43226058 That's WOP, W H O P dot com forward slash The Healing Circle. 50 00:05:04,129.20421931 --> 00:05:05,479.20421931 Once you come in, don't be shy. 51 00:05:05,479.20421931 --> 00:05:09,619.20421931 Go ahead and introduce yourself, and I can't wait to get to know you on a deeper level. 52 00:05:09,826.70987882 --> 00:05:26,36.70887882 Okay, so I know I typically share a little bit of a story in the beginning before diving into the lessons but I'm gonna weave my story throughout these lessons just because of the Structure in the heart of this episode all right, so right off the gate, we're starting hot. 53 00:05:26,366.70787882 --> 00:05:38,202.44652203 So this first lesson, and really that I, that I want you to learn from my mistake, is I chose to numb, My pain with men and with emotional detachment. 54 00:05:38,822.44652203 --> 00:05:41,112.44652203 And so, I'm gonna share what I mean by this. 55 00:05:41,132.44652203 --> 00:05:44,782.44652203 You know, I was, at the time, like, moving into college. 56 00:05:45,122.44652203 --> 00:05:48,692.44552203 And I believed this lie that was so prevalent then. 57 00:05:48,702.44652203 --> 00:05:51,872.44652203 Like, the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 58 00:05:52,202.44652203 --> 00:05:54,692.44652203 And I believed that. 59 00:05:54,722.44652203 --> 00:06:16,739.13455473 And the crazy, like, the crazy distorted, truth that I was actually living out in my life was I felt like if I could be sexual with a man and then not have any emotion attachment to that, then I was a powerful woman. 60 00:06:16,929.13455473 --> 00:06:20,219.13355473 And this was proof that I was healed. 61 00:06:20,718.55255478 --> 00:06:24,218.55255478 it's the craziest thing, but maybe you can relate with that. 62 00:06:24,608.55155478 --> 00:06:31,698.55255478 Um, but I, the reason why I went this route is because one, nobody taught me how to deal with my emotions. 63 00:06:31,698.55255478 --> 00:06:35,638.55255478 They didn't, I didn't, I didn't have, I didn't, I didn't have a Space. 64 00:06:35,638.55255478 --> 00:06:47,735.9662841 I didn't know how to create a space, um, with myself to actually identify the toxic relationship tendencies that I experienced or the betrayal that I experienced. 65 00:06:47,735.9662841 --> 00:06:54,395.9662841 It was all overlooked and suppressed and move past, um, and how it affected me. 66 00:06:54,815.9662841 --> 00:06:59,75.9662841 And we do this a lot because we don't. 67 00:06:59,825.9662841 --> 00:07:02,315.9662841 Know how to deal with it. 68 00:07:02,315.9662841 --> 00:07:15,884.41544211 So instead of dealing with it, we just do what we see our parents do, and we just sweep it under the under the rug, or we just act like we're fine when in reality we're not. 69 00:07:15,944.41544211 --> 00:07:21,764.41544211 But we believe that we are because we just file. 70 00:07:21,948.07270002 --> 00:07:49,158.21880482 the, the pain and the trauma and the situation away in a compartment in our mind that we don't have to, bring attention to and so I know that there's some women hearing me right now that you might be Currently what I was in you might be a man hater like you really might Believe that all men suck that they're all pigs and that you don't need a man And if that's you, I see you, and I feel you on a deep level because I was you. 71 00:07:49,588.21880482 --> 00:08:03,188.21880482 And I know that you can trick yourself into thinking that, Oh, this makes you a powerful woman, or you hold the power now because you don't have this emotional attachment to men, therefore they can't hurt you. 72 00:08:03,368.21880482 --> 00:08:09,238.21880482 So you have to understand that that is just a defensive mechanism. 73 00:08:09,628.21880482 --> 00:08:12,398.21880482 Yeah, like I was just talking to a friend. 74 00:08:13,838.92642327 --> 00:08:35,428.92642327 And she was telling me, oh, I'm about to leave, leave my boyfriend because of this XYZ, and I was asking her some questions to, to uncover what's behind that, and I shared with her, I shared with her, look, I think that because you experienced abandonment from your dad, you are, you're running away from him. 75 00:08:37,203.92642327 --> 00:08:44,703.92642327 You're running away from the conflict because you're, there's discomfort in facing the conflict head on and to resolve it. 76 00:08:44,953.92642327 --> 00:08:54,353.92642327 And so this is just a protective mechanism that you're, falling into right now because you think it's easier to just run away. 77 00:08:54,663.92642327 --> 00:09:04,173.92642327 From it, before you get hurt, versus addressing it and being vulnerable and sharing with your boyfriend what's really going on underneath the surface. 78 00:09:04,470.03963218 --> 00:09:07,680.03863218 And she was like, oh my gosh, you are so right. 79 00:09:07,910.03963218 --> 00:09:13,130.03863218 And I was like, you have to get to a point where, and dating is definitely different than like marriage, 100%. 80 00:09:14,710.03963218 --> 00:09:19,620.03963218 But, in this instance, I know she's in a healthy relationship, because I know both of them. 81 00:09:20,26.32088224 --> 00:09:36,956.13483524 So I was, I was being more objective and I was using what she was going through, aka a trigger, as a teaching moment for her to lean into what her, what her responses is telling herself in the present moment, that is reflecting what happened to her in the past. 82 00:09:37,436.13483524 --> 00:10:00,146.13483524 I hope I said that, like, in a way that makes sense, but I use it as a moment to, to, for her to, like, sit with the hurt her, you know, the her that was, the daughter that was hurt by her, by her dad, um, and so that way this, this relationship and this situation, it didn't have to turn out the same way as, as, um, that did. 83 00:10:01,575.36056823 --> 00:10:27,789.51054309 Understanding and being able to identify what your triggers are telling you is, is huge because it can There's a lot of freedom that comes from that and I'm getting ahead of myself, but I just, I had to share that example with you because you may not be a man hater, you may be in a relationship right now where you are, um, like you're, you're, you're fight or flight and maybe you lean more, more towards, flight mode. 84 00:10:28,157.19997342 --> 00:10:29,177.19997342 To protect yourself. 85 00:10:29,177.19997342 --> 00:10:50,727.19997342 So ultimately this emotional detachment and trying to numb yourself and say that you don't care It's all a protective mechanism because you've been hurt in the past and you're trying to protect your heart From getting hurt again and from being vulnerable and and really naked which in a marriage you Gotta be you gotta be naked. 86 00:10:50,737.19997342 --> 00:11:14,54.96934379 You got to strip down naked and be super super honest with with everything That's going on in your mind So, that went on for about five years, where I was in this numbness and detachment mode, and I realized, okay, well the thing that I thought made me strong was actually making me empty and was actually stealing from me. 87 00:11:14,744.97034379 --> 00:11:23,924.97034379 I say this all the time, like, I don't have regrets in my life, except that if I could change one thing in my life, it would be waiting until marriage. 88 00:11:24,935.45564471 --> 00:12:11,742.45244564 Even with all the other things that I've done, like, that's the one thing, because it's, it sticks with you, and there's just no, no point in it, like, you could save yourself a lot of heartache and, um, honestly, hard conversations that happen later with your future husband if you've abstained from that, and there's just so much confusion, Um, an entanglement that happens when you do enter into sexual relationship with somebody that is just not necessary and that is literally saved and meant for your future husband because it is It's so pure and so beautiful and really perfect in the context of marriage because that's the way God designed it. 89 00:12:12,218.16569376 --> 00:12:21,698.16569376 And so what I want you to glean from this is understand that having a, not having emotions and not caring does not make you powerful. 90 00:12:22,112.61012989 --> 00:12:28,442.61112989 It's actually a signal that you're building walls up around your heart, which walls. 91 00:12:28,932.61112989 --> 00:12:35,42.61112989 Or barriers, it's keeping things from yeah from getting in but also from getting things out. 92 00:12:35,272.61112989 --> 00:12:46,822.61112989 Like typically when you have these barriers, you're not wanting anybody to see what you're really going through, therefore you're not inviting anybody to, to sit, to sit with you and to listen to you and help you process the pain. 93 00:12:47,142.61012989 --> 00:12:51,472.61112989 And you're not just blocking out the bad, but you're also blocking out the good. 94 00:12:51,482.61112989 --> 00:12:58,412.61112989 And this is hindering you from receiving the type of love God wants you to experience. 95 00:12:58,976.67391591 --> 00:13:10,966.67391591 And this is just a dangerous place to be in, this is a counterfeit, this is not the way that, this is not living of the free life that God, um, wants and wants to give you to live. 96 00:13:11,466.67391591 --> 00:13:18,676.67391591 And so the lesson in this, you have to understand that healing isn't about proving that you don't care. 97 00:13:19,51.67391591 --> 00:13:27,421.67391591 It's learning to feel again without fear, being able to open your heart and not close it off. 98 00:13:28,26.8403896 --> 00:13:31,276.8403896 That is an indication that you were on the path to healing. 99 00:13:31,286.8403896 --> 00:13:43,66.8403896 You being able to be vulnerable and to, and to let your emotions come up and not to fear them, but to lean into them and to help them teach you about yourself. 100 00:13:43,384.46322313 --> 00:13:51,4.46322313 About what you need in that moment, and then the next level is being able to communicate what's going on when you are in a relationship. 101 00:13:51,789.20210116 --> 00:13:53,319.20210116 So that's lesson number one. 102 00:13:53,709.20210116 --> 00:14:09,229.20210116 Now, experience number two that where I thought that I was healing was I was super hyper fixated on self improvement and I thought it was the same thing as healing from my past and moving on from my past. 103 00:14:09,369.20110116 --> 00:14:15,379.20210116 And so I did step into an environment where I was surrounded by high achieving entrepreneurs like people who. 104 00:14:15,514.20210116 --> 00:14:20,524.20210116 Thought on a higher level than me who was making so much more money than I ever thought possible. 105 00:14:20,554.20210116 --> 00:14:27,454.20210116 And who had rich in, who were rich in relationships, who spoke differently, and it, I was definitely inspired. 106 00:14:27,454.20210116 --> 00:14:28,399.20210116 This was a time in my life where. 107 00:14:29,114.20210116 --> 00:14:46,797.46505689 So much growth happened for me and I'm, I loved this part of my life, um, and I had made a decision to say, you know what, you know, I've been living distracted, you know, I've been giving my attention to, to men, and to things that aren't helping me become the best woman that I needed to be. 108 00:14:47,27.46505689 --> 00:14:58,177.46505689 So I became celibate, I was not even worried about men, I was solely focused on myself and I went all in on my personal development and business and mindset. 109 00:14:58,702.46505689 --> 00:15:11,503.88829908 And what came out of that was I was building confidence and I was, I was strengthening my belief in what I was capable of, but my wounds and my pain, it was still there buried under the busyness. 110 00:15:12,303.88829908 --> 00:15:13,183.88829908 Hear me when I say that. 111 00:15:13,203.88829908 --> 00:15:14,703.88829908 Maybe you identify with this right now. 112 00:15:14,713.88829908 --> 00:15:16,163.88829908 You are a high achieving woman. 113 00:15:16,363.88829908 --> 00:15:18,123.88829908 You've, you've got a schedule packed. 114 00:15:18,333.88829908 --> 00:15:22,623.88829908 Maybe you even tell yourself, I love to always be doing something. 115 00:15:23,298.88829908 --> 00:15:25,918.88829908 That is an indication that there is unhealed trauma. 116 00:15:26,148.88829908 --> 00:15:42,641.31182795 If you are a person who is just always longing to do something, you don't want to sit in silence or stillness, you're afraid of that, you, you have to, you have your identity in your schedule, in your to do list, in getting things, finished and done and being packed, there is something going on there. 117 00:15:43,400.13610761 --> 00:16:11,307.14148208 Okay, maybe is it, is it distracting? Is it distracting yourself with being productive instead of dealing with the pain? Is it moving so fast to where it doesn't show up for you, right? Like you are super hyper focused, um, on you and you getting to the next level in your life and this is cutting out, the moments of attention to the pain so you can be intentional with healing from them. 118 00:16:12,341.08112879 --> 00:16:21,871.08112879 So the wounds, they didn't just disappear because I wasn't paying any attention to them, they just got suppressed until something triggered them. 119 00:16:22,341.08112879 --> 00:16:28,741.08112879 I'm going to get to that in a second, but the lesson that I want you to learn from this is you cannot just outgrow your pain. 120 00:16:29,586.80637164 --> 00:16:30,936.80537164 You have to face it. 121 00:16:31,699.35569019 --> 00:16:36,699.35469019 Because if you don't face it, it's going to show up in your next relationship. 122 00:16:36,699.35469019 --> 00:16:39,989.35569019 It's going to show up at your next level of success. 123 00:16:40,271.9486521 --> 00:16:42,231.9486521 It's going to show up when you're someone's boss. 124 00:16:42,311.9486521 --> 00:16:43,361.9486521 It's going to show up. 125 00:16:43,852.8149673 --> 00:16:45,232.8149673 Emotions demand to be felt. 126 00:16:45,662.8149673 --> 00:16:50,292.8149673 And when they're suppressed for so long, oh, you're going to have a moment where, where, where the box explodes. 127 00:16:50,938.9764461 --> 00:16:55,598.9764461 And so, I want you to know that success is not the thing that is going to heal your wounds. 128 00:16:56,358.9754461 --> 00:16:59,938.9754461 Busyness does not replace emotional work. 129 00:17:00,558.9764461 --> 00:17:08,186.9031162 You can be winning on the outside, which a lot of people are, but still very broken on the inside. 130 00:17:08,739.1038178 --> 00:17:11,479.1038178 And that's not where I want you and that's not where God wants you. 131 00:17:11,879.1038178 --> 00:17:16,948.7346444 And this leads me into my third experience of where I thought that I was healing. 132 00:17:17,218.7346444 --> 00:17:26,568.7346444 So of course at this time I was like, oh I'm on top of the world, I'm great, I'm growing, um, I'm thinking differently, things are working out for me. 133 00:17:26,928.7346444 --> 00:17:35,669.4254462 And I found myself in a relationship with a man, my now husband, with a man who genuinely loved me. 134 00:17:37,479.5254462 --> 00:17:40,869.5254462 And I thought that I was ready. 135 00:17:41,539.5254462 --> 00:17:42,769.5254462 No, I, that's a lie. 136 00:17:42,769.5254462 --> 00:17:45,489.5254462 I didn't even, I didn't even think that I was ready. 137 00:17:46,119.5254462 --> 00:17:51,119.5254462 Um, I knew I wasn't ready, but I, I thought I could just live that way. 138 00:17:51,129.5254462 --> 00:17:54,829.5254462 Like I thought we could just continue and I can be in this relationship and it was all going to be good. 139 00:17:54,829.5254462 --> 00:17:56,859.5254462 I didn't have to change anything about myself. 140 00:17:57,189.5254462 --> 00:17:57,999.5254462 Cause I was cool. 141 00:17:58,9.5254462 --> 00:17:58,829.5254462 Like, cool. 142 00:17:58,859.5254462 --> 00:17:59,639.5254462 We can date. 143 00:17:59,649.5254462 --> 00:18:00,609.5254462 Like that's fine. 144 00:18:01,259.5254462 --> 00:18:02,169.5254462 Funny story. 145 00:18:02,209.5254462 --> 00:18:03,269.5254462 Side note. 146 00:18:03,314.6254462 --> 00:18:08,494.5254462 So, my sister was actually the one that said, Are you guys dating or what? Sissy, it's time. 147 00:18:08,494.5254462 --> 00:18:09,234.5254462 You guys are dating. 148 00:18:09,244.5254462 --> 00:18:13,194.5254462 And then that made us officially titled boyfriend girlfriend. 149 00:18:13,224.5254462 --> 00:18:13,694.5254462 Anyway. 150 00:18:14,854.5254462 --> 00:18:15,514.5254462 Um, yeah. 151 00:18:15,514.5254462 --> 00:18:17,664.5254462 I was not ready for any of it. 152 00:18:18,4.5254462 --> 00:18:22,874.5254462 Um, but, God just has a funny way of working out in the little details. 153 00:18:23,387.6325135 --> 00:18:23,677.6325135 yeah. 154 00:18:23,677.7325135 --> 00:18:26,887.6325135 There was a moment where he confronted me about my pride. 155 00:18:27,177.6325135 --> 00:18:55,547.6325135 And this was the moment that really changed things for me because up until that point, right, like, I've read so many, I've read different self help books, like, how to build good habits, how to better myself, how to think on a higher level, but being, being told something about yourself that's not pretty, it's like having a mirror up to you and it's like, oh, wow, For the first time, I felt like I was being told about myself in a very personal way. 156 00:18:56,257.6325135 --> 00:19:01,987.6325135 And that just opened a whole, whole, whole thing. 157 00:19:02,597.6325135 --> 00:19:09,527.6325135 Um, and it was the best thing that, that happened to me because this prompted my actual healing journey. 158 00:19:11,137.6325135 --> 00:19:16,417.6325135 Because I, what I was, what I realized at that point was I had no idea. 159 00:19:16,772.6325135 --> 00:19:21,662.6325135 How to be a healthy partner, really even a healthy like human. 160 00:19:22,542.6325135 --> 00:19:30,542.6325135 I was super defensive, I was controlling, and I was still carrying this past pain and it was exposed through my pride. 161 00:19:31,497.4719653 --> 00:19:35,636.1638292 And so, with all that, it started my relationship with God. 162 00:19:35,636.1638292 --> 00:19:40,666.1648292 I was reading my Bible, we were doing Bible studies together, but I was still trying to control. 163 00:19:41,51.1648292 --> 00:19:44,261.1648292 My life and I hit this breaking point. 164 00:19:44,381.1648292 --> 00:20:16,151.1648292 I was exhausted I was from trying to control everything my life my emotions my relationships and I was like, I need you God And this is where I I believe that's where I really got saved I experienced the Holy Spirit and I was truly changed and transformed from the inside out I felt a new life in me a new purpose joy a level of peace and just patience and being able to This new ability to forgive other people and even myself, all of this was found when I, when I found Jesus. 165 00:20:16,481.1648292 --> 00:20:19,531.1638292 And this is where the transformation was happening. 166 00:20:19,691.1648292 --> 00:20:27,241.1648292 And so, the lesson in this is, is healing doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't have to, a few lessons here. 167 00:20:28,146.1648292 --> 00:20:32,596.1648292 You don't have to be healed to move into a healthy relationship. 168 00:20:32,616.1648292 --> 00:20:42,56.1648292 It's a good idea to get in this mindset of, okay, being aware of how to heal and what trauma you're bringing into a relationship. 169 00:20:42,232.9481003 --> 00:20:54,212.9481003 Because you might not have to be healed to move into a healthy relationship, but you have to make the active decision to heal to sustain and build a healthy relationship. 170 00:20:54,628.9243842 --> 00:21:02,8.9253842 And the real healing begins when you let God into the places that you've been trying to fix on your own. 171 00:21:02,326.0897683 --> 00:21:08,326.0897683 And in the places that you've, you've, you've been suppressive, you've been running away from, you've, you've been trying to distract yourself with. 172 00:21:08,798.6682348 --> 00:21:13,498.6682348 this includes forgiving yourself and forgiving the people who hurt you. 173 00:21:13,818.6672348 --> 00:21:19,168.6682348 This is where true freedom is gonna be found and where you're gonna find lasting transformation. 174 00:21:19,178.6682348 --> 00:21:23,358.6682348 It only comes when you surrender to God and you let go of that control. 175 00:21:24,12.8332561 --> 00:21:30,974.2275897 You can make it, you can only make it so far in a relationship before really, you really have to depend on God. 176 00:21:31,967.0719832 --> 00:21:35,387.0729832 And so, of course, walk with the Lord, things are great. 177 00:21:35,753.3956118 --> 00:21:43,283.3956118 And things come up still, right? Like I'm still being triggered and I'm still working out, working out my faith with God. 178 00:21:43,823.3946118 --> 00:21:47,703.3956118 And I realized, like, okay, well I've been walking with the Lord. 179 00:21:47,703.3956118 --> 00:21:49,303.3956118 I even gave my life to Christ. 180 00:21:49,363.3946118 --> 00:21:51,293.3946118 And I experienced this deep healing. 181 00:21:51,803.3946118 --> 00:21:58,423.3956118 But I still, there was still a gap because I didn't know how to be a loving, Emotionally mature partner. 182 00:21:58,833.3956118 --> 00:22:00,723.3956118 Like, nobody taught me this. 183 00:22:00,723.3956118 --> 00:22:02,663.3956118 And I definitely didn't learn it from my parents. 184 00:22:02,663.3956118 --> 00:22:04,63.3956118 I learned quite the opposite. 185 00:22:04,503.3956118 --> 00:22:07,543.3956118 And so I, I found myself, I didn't know how to communicate my needs. 186 00:22:07,543.3956118 --> 00:22:12,243.3956118 I was still hesitant on being totally open and transparent. 187 00:22:13,53.3946118 --> 00:22:16,723.3956118 And I leaned more towards just being petty or silent or distant. 188 00:22:17,63.3956118 --> 00:22:18,693.3956118 Um, or yelling out of anger. 189 00:22:19,23.3956118 --> 00:22:22,573.3956118 Like, this was just my habits, what I was used to. 190 00:22:22,793.3956118 --> 00:22:25,483.3946118 So maybe you find yourself here, you know. 191 00:22:25,880.4044282 --> 00:22:35,537.770794 Maybe you find yourself thinking that love is a feeling, it's a passion, and not a choice, and a commitment. 192 00:22:36,44.1439564 --> 00:22:42,994.1439564 And maybe you have a wrong idea of what love is, and this is why I love the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. 193 00:22:43,384.7906231 --> 00:22:44,284.7906231 Love is patient. 194 00:22:44,284.7906231 --> 00:22:45,74.7906231 Love is kind. 195 00:22:45,74.7906231 --> 00:22:46,144.7906231 It does not envy. 196 00:22:46,404.7906231 --> 00:22:47,314.7906231 It does not boast. 197 00:22:47,334.7906231 --> 00:22:48,304.7906231 It is not proud. 198 00:22:48,304.7906231 --> 00:22:50,34.7896231 It does not dishonor others. 199 00:22:50,324.7906231 --> 00:22:52,204.7906231 It is not self seeking. 200 00:22:52,214.7896231 --> 00:22:53,194.7896231 That one hit me. 201 00:22:53,564.7906231 --> 00:22:55,94.7906231 It is not easily angered. 202 00:22:55,104.7906231 --> 00:22:56,764.7906231 It keeps no record of wrongs. 203 00:22:56,934.7896231 --> 00:22:59,934.7906231 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 204 00:23:00,264.7906231 --> 00:23:05,604.7906231 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. 205 00:23:05,924.7906231 --> 00:23:08,64.7906231 Love never fails. 206 00:23:08,823.5091416 --> 00:23:13,743.5091416 Versus what I had, what my actions were saying up to that point, like, love is conditional. 207 00:23:13,943.5091416 --> 00:23:16,663.5091416 I have an escape plan, I have an escape route. 208 00:23:16,903.5091416 --> 00:23:30,305.2289262 Um, I, it's okay for me to lash out in anger if, If he upsets me or if he does something that hurts me, I was ready to, to sabotage at the slightest sign of inconvenience. 209 00:23:30,625.2289262 --> 00:23:36,475.2289262 And these are just, these are learned behaviors and this is your past trauma speaking. 210 00:23:36,505.2279262 --> 00:23:39,295.2279262 And so Jesus a hundred percent is the ultimate healer. 211 00:23:39,645.2279262 --> 00:23:44,945.6083545 And he also gives us, tools and mentors to be able to help us regulate. 212 00:23:45,145.6083545 --> 00:23:50,855.6083545 The gifts he's given us, aka our emotions, because our emotions are not demonic. 213 00:23:50,855.6083545 --> 00:23:51,885.6083545 They're not bad. 214 00:23:52,225.6083545 --> 00:23:53,805.6073545 They just are. 215 00:23:54,155.6083545 --> 00:23:57,285.6073545 And we have them and they're a gift from God. 216 00:23:57,315.6073545 --> 00:24:04,55.6083545 And we have to learn how to, how to live with and operate when big emotions come up. 217 00:24:04,323.9639101 --> 00:24:07,773.9639101 And so maybe you notice yourself being triggered. 218 00:24:08,413.9639101 --> 00:24:18,303.9639101 And you use those triggers to, you use those triggers as an excuse to lash out instead of seeing them as teachers for your growth. 219 00:24:18,702.1046248 --> 00:24:29,269.8634321 maybe you're making your partner responsible for your emotions instead of learning how to process them on your own separate from him. 220 00:24:29,792.7782706 --> 00:24:42,282.7772706 And maybe inviting him in and letting him know what's going on with you and giving him that opportunity to love you and to serve you in that moment because maybe you're afraid of being vulnerable or maybe you just don't know how to express it. 221 00:24:42,635.1840453 --> 00:24:57,305.1840453 So the lesson I want you to learn here that, about healing, is that healing isn't just about feeling better, right? Whenever I feel better, when it doesn't hurt, this means that I've been healed from it. 222 00:24:57,905.1840453 --> 00:25:02,605.1840453 No, it's about, it's about the decision to act better. 223 00:25:03,125.1840453 --> 00:25:10,905.1840453 The decision to not respond out of anger, but to respond with a quiet spirit and a humble spirit. 224 00:25:11,175.1840453 --> 00:25:16,725.1830453 To distance yourself from what's causing you, your emotions to rise up. 225 00:25:17,8.6232887 --> 00:25:19,757.8571051 And seek, seek the wise response. 226 00:25:20,655.5482197 --> 00:25:22,825.5482197 That is an indication that you are healing. 227 00:25:23,804.0972135 --> 00:25:33,655.2529956 Love isn't just about what you receive, right? We all, we all want to be in love, we want to get love, we want to feel love, but love is about what you give. 228 00:25:34,550.4691341 --> 00:25:40,300.4681341 Getting to this place where you know that, and this puts you in a better, this positions you to be a better partner. 229 00:25:41,234.999257 --> 00:25:50,995.000257 And then, knowing that emotional maturity, is learning to regulate yourself instead of expecting others to do it for you. 230 00:25:51,85.000257 --> 00:25:59,344.999257 Putting the responsibility on them and grabbing and holding that responsibility all to yourself because it is your responsibility. 231 00:25:59,495.000257 --> 00:26:13,445.000257 The longer that you give and you place the responsibility of how other people are making you respond, the longer it's in their hands, the longer that it's going to take you to actually experience the deep healing that God wants to give you. 232 00:26:14,145.000257 --> 00:26:35,624.9018195 So to recap, lesson number one, you want to go from numbing your pain and emotional detachment to understanding that healing isn't about proving that you don't care and not feeling your emotions, but it's about learning to feel again without fear and being open and vulnerable. 233 00:26:36,398.1956476 --> 00:26:45,548.1956476 Lesson number two, you want to go from hyper focusing on self improvement to understanding that you cannot outgrow your pain. 234 00:26:45,558.1956476 --> 00:26:47,68.1946476 You have to face it. 235 00:26:47,328.1956476 --> 00:26:52,608.1946476 You can't pile up your, your, your days with things to do. 236 00:26:52,618.1956476 --> 00:26:55,688.1956476 You have to have time to just sit and to be. 237 00:26:55,980.4147882 --> 00:26:58,990.4147882 external success isn't the thing that's going to heal your wounds. 238 00:26:59,234.2379248 --> 00:27:01,884.2379248 You still have to face what you've been suppressing. 239 00:27:02,132.708301 --> 00:27:25,242.707301 Lesson number three, you don't want to rely on a man or somebody else or when you get into a healthy relationship to help you heal, but you want to start that healing process with God because he is going to do that deep internal healing that is necessary for you to be healthy yourself in and outside of the context of a relationship. 240 00:27:25,732.7206343 --> 00:27:35,2.7206343 And then lesson number four, you can be a Christian and love Jesus and still be dealing with unhealed trauma. 241 00:27:35,512.7206343 --> 00:27:53,755.7349416 And so learning to regulate your emotions, learning to love and learning to, how to have your triggers become your teachers are all practical ways for you To make the decision to be proactive in your healing journey and not just waiting until you feel better. 242 00:27:53,805.7349416 --> 00:27:59,12.5371367 Because healing is not about feeling better, it's about acting better. 243 00:27:59,307.4633074 --> 00:28:00,807.4633074 Healing is not linear. 244 00:28:00,817.4633074 --> 00:28:02,427.4633074 It never will be. 245 00:28:02,747.4633074 --> 00:28:10,847.4633074 It is going to be full of mistakes, wrong turns, detours, hard lessons, and very humbling moments. 246 00:28:10,847.5633074 --> 00:28:16,247.4633074 But it's those moments, as long as you learn from them, then you're on the path of wisdom. 247 00:28:16,945.6349652 --> 00:28:22,115.6349652 And if you want somebody to walk alongside you on this journey, girl, I would love it. 248 00:28:22,195.6349652 --> 00:28:34,485.6339652 I love, love, love helping my sisters in Christ do these things, put these things into action and just being able to hold you accountable and bringing you support, answering your questions. 249 00:28:34,485.6349652 --> 00:28:41,15.6349652 So if you have any questions from this or you want to put this into practice, come join us over in the Healing Circle. 250 00:28:41,255.6349652 --> 00:28:42,545.6349652 It's a free community. 251 00:28:42,801.7154842 --> 00:28:44,331.7154842 You can join at WOP. 252 00:28:44,661.7154842 --> 00:28:46,791.7154842 com forward slash the healing circle. 253 00:28:47,1.7154842 --> 00:28:49,291.7154842 That's WOP, W H O P. 254 00:28:49,621.7154842 --> 00:28:51,801.7144842 com forward slash the healing circle. 255 00:28:52,121.7154842 --> 00:28:54,761.7154842 And I will see you guys in there. 256 00:28:54,791.7154842 --> 00:28:56,541.7154842 If not, I will see you back here. 257 00:28:56,771.7154842 --> 00:28:59,41.7154842 Same place, same time next week. 258 00:28:59,411.7154842 --> 00:28:59,871.7154842 Bye. 259 00:29:00,179.5903937 --> 00:29:01,69.5903937 Hey, beautiful. 260 00:29:01,109.5903937 --> 00:29:04,679.5903937 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 261 00:29:04,979.5903937 --> 00:29:19,109.5903937 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 262 00:29:19,109.5903937 --> 00:29:24,509.5903937 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 263 00:29:24,784.5903937 --> 00:29:30,164.5903937 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 264 00:29:30,234.5903937 --> 00:29:30,654.5903937 Okay. 265 00:29:30,754.5903937 --> 00:29:33,324.5903937 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 266 00:29:33,484.5903937 --> 00:29:39,454.5903937 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
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