Excavating Identity And Mental Strength With Kristen Crabtree

In this Healthy Waves conversation from the Healthy Mind By Avik™ ecosystem, host Sana and guest Kristen Crabtree deconstruct the usual script on mental health, mental strength and resilience. They unpack what happens when you are praised for holding everything together while silently disappearing behind roles like good wife, good mother, good employee. Kristen shares how 22 years in a psychologically abusive marriage, a bipolar diagnosis and trauma therapy in 2021 forced a complete reboot of her inner operating system.

Together they explore how real mental strength starts with identity excavation. Not more grinding, but finally hearing your own voice under family rules, cultural conditioning and performance masks. They talk about privilege and survival, why telling people to just align with their true self can sound unrealistic for single parents and people in unsafe situations, and why boundaries can be a pragmatic first step when you have zero capacity. If you are tired of confusing survival with living, this episode gives you a sharp, honest lens on mental health, women’s resilience, boundaries and rebuilding life on your own terms.

About the Guest:

Kristen Crabtree is an author, creator of the Paramore Paradox ecosystem and a certified trauma informed divorce coach. After decades in a psychologically abusive marriage and a long journey with bipolar disorder, trauma therapy and meditation helped her reclaim her voice and identity. Her book Be the You That is More You Than You Have Ever Beenoffers a structured framework for excavating your own story, identifying the roles and artifacts that shape you and stepping into what she calls your True You 2.0. Today she helps people move from invisibility and self doubt into clarity, self trust and aligned decision making.

Key Takeaways:

• Mental health often erodes when we shrink behind roles and expectations. Kristen explains how constantly performing as the responsible one while ignoring your own needs creates inner chaos and long term psychological strain.

• Most people mistake mental strength for holding everything together and never asking for help. Kristen reframes true mental resilience as hearing your inner voice, accepting it and making decisions that align with who you really are.

• Kristen’s turning point came through trauma therapy and meditation. Both helped her recognize the psychological abuse in her marriage, process earlier sexual trauma and reconnect with a self she had buried for decades.

• Her book uses an excavation metaphor. You audit the artifacts of your life, roles, traumas and stories, then intentionally design your True You 2.0, a future identity that expresses your real values instead of inherited scripts.

• The conversation names privilege directly. Kristen acknowledges that some people do not have the time, money or safety to do deep identity work, and that telling them to just align with their true self can sound tone deaf.

• Boundaries show up as a practical first lever. Kristen describes learning to feel in her body when a boundary is crossed and how protecting that line built self worth, self respect and the stability required for bigger life changes.

• Both Sana and Kristen emphasize that humans are messy by default. You are not broken or something to fix. The work is stripping away noise, shame and other people’s blueprints so you can design a life that actually fits you.

 

If you’re in immediate crisis, contact local emergency services or your regional suicide prevention helpline.

Here are reliable, widely used crisis lines by region:

United States  :  

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org (24/7). SAMHSA+1
• Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741 (24/7). Crisis Text Line
• LGBTQ+ (The Trevor Project, youth) — call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678 (24/7). The Trevor Project+1
• Trans Lifeline — US [phone] (hours vary; peer support). translifeline.org+1

Canada  :  

• 9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline — call or text 9-8-8 (24/7). 9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline+1
• Crisis Text Line (via Kids Help Phone) — text 686868 (24/7). Crisis Text Line
• Trans Lifeline — Canada [phone] (hours vary). translifeline.org

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