March 13, 2023 • 37 mins
Who said we had to get it right the first time we do things? 😬
In episode 05 of I’m lost, so what? podcast, Cassandra gives a very real look at all the times she had to ‘start over’ and from zero - whether that’s from choosing her degree in college, moving abroad, reinventing herself, or reorganizing her business…
Cassandra talks about:
- Her experiences starting over
- How each time she did, it taught her something new about herself
- The signs that it might be time to start over
- And a few reminders if you are in the process of starting over
Connect with Cassandra elsewhere:
- Cassandra’s Personal Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cassandratle/
- The Quirky Pineapple Studio Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thequirkypineapplestudio/
Additional resources mentioned in the episode:
- Deanne Vincent - https://www.deannevincent.com/
- Episode 02, “3 existential questions to consider if you want to be more visible” - https://imlostsowhat.podbean.com/e/3-existential-questions-to-consider-if-you-want-to-be-more-visible/
- Episode 04, “RIP to the me I learned to love” -
You Belong Her, Creative Hub & Studio in San Diego - https://www.youbelongsd.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And sometimes we don't haveexamples of that in our lives
to show us that it's possible.
So we're like imagining and envisioningfrom like nothing and thinking
to ourselves, is this gonna work?
Hello hello everyone.
I'm Cassandra Le and you'relistening to I'm Lost, so what?
The podcast exploring betweenbelonging and carving your own path
(00:22):
for all the peeps out there who kindof know what you're doing, but still
question what the fuck is going on?
Yeah, I'm with ya.
Hello, hello and welcomeback to the I'm Lost.
So what?
podcast this is episode five, andwe are talking about what it's
like to start over and from zero.
And is this an immigrant story?
(00:45):
Is this a story of reinvention,failure, growth, bravery, and courage?
Or is it just because we are lost and weare trying to find our footing in life.
Those are the questions that we are goingto be going over today in the podcast.
And shout out to my sister,Tatiana, for helping me pick out
this episode topic because she waslike, let's, let's talk about this.
(01:09):
Like what is it liketo actually start over?
What is it like to actually leave yourcomfort zone and do something else?
And I just wanna share with you all.
If you are in the process of startingover, if you're in the process
of thinking about starting over,starting over is not for losers.
(01:29):
And it's not like you are afailure or anything like that.
It's actually something amazing.
So I wanted to talk about my personalexamples of what it was like for me to
actually start over and I've actuallystarted over quite a few times in my life.
I feel like in various situations,whether it was in school, if it was with
(01:53):
work, if it was with like personal lifechoices, I feel like I've started over
from lots of things and even also withlike personal style and all of that stuff.
So we're gonna get into it.
I'm gonna share my personal examplesand then go into when to know.
It could be time to start overbecause I feel like sometimes
(02:13):
when we're thinking about startingover, we feel stuck around it.
We're like, is it time?
Do I need to?
And sometimes it is.
And I wanted to go over some of thesigns that I think we run into when
we know it's time to start over.
So getting into my personal examples, oneof the first things that I did, I think
(02:36):
for me that is actually very memorableis that I changed my degree in college
and it sounds like a super simple thing,but I originally went to University/
College with the intention of getting acommunications degree because I wanted
to become an event planner and I wantedto work in PR, and I wanted to become
(03:00):
like a journalist or something like that.
Then one drunken night at a house partyin college I was talking to, I don't
even know this person, like I don'tknow who they are, but they changed
the trajectory of my college career.
I went out onto the balcony toget some air and this person
was just like, Hey, who are you?
(03:21):
What's up?
How's everything going?
And we just started talking.
I was telling her, you know, Iwanted to be an event planner.
I wanted to work in events, I wanted tobe a wedding planner, and I wanted to do
things related to restaurants, customerservice, travel, and all of that stuff.
And she told me, oh, well thenwhy are you in communications?
(03:41):
Why don't you go studyHospitality management?
And she told me, okay, hospitalitymanagement is about, you know, hotel
management, event management, restaurantmanagement, all of those things.
All the things thatyou kind of want to do.
And you could thenbecome an event planner.
And I thought, oh hell yeah,that's exactly what I want.
(04:02):
I don't know this person, Idon't even remember their name.
I kind of vaguely rememberwhat they look like.
And from that conversation, Ibasically, woke up the next day
after this house party and was like,yeah, I'm gonna go change my major.
I'm gonna go change my degree.
So I went to my counselor's officeand I was like, Hey, you know what?
(04:26):
I think I'm gonna change fromcommunications to hospitality management.
And that random person that I met,uh, in that one drunken night on the
balcony who had no idea who I was,we probably, she probably doesn't
even know my name helped me reallyto start over and start from zero.
So that was like example number one.
(04:46):
I feel like that is like an easyone because it was low stakes.
I wasn't really into my communicationsmajor anymore, or I wasn't really
into my communications majorso heavily, like I was still a
freshman or sophomore at college.
And changing my degree was alittle bit easier, so then I
started from zero with that.
(05:07):
That's example number one, andI think that is like low stakes,
so a little higher stakes.
For my second example is whenI moved to Richmond, Virginia,
which is about two hours awayfrom where I am originally from.
For one month, by myself and my parentswere not happy when I decided to do this.
(05:27):
First of all, I decided to move fora one month unpaid internship with
a very popular thrift/ consignmentstore in the Richmond area.
And it's not like, you know, one ofthose internships where you're like,
oh, cool, you're moving for thisinternship, like this internship was
(05:47):
to work at a clothing store and tohelp them with their pr, help them with
their marketing, help them with events.
And I was just like, I don'tcare that it's unpaid- I'm going.
And I think I was maybe 20 years oldand I just thought, okay, I'm gonna
drive down to Richmond, by myself.
(06:09):
I don't know anyone.
I'm gonna go for an unpaid internshipand I'm just gonna figure it.
That I think was the first timethat I decided to do something for
myself without knowing anybody elseand like having a like safety net.
And that month completelychanged so many things for me.
(06:31):
It mainly gave me so much solace,like I was so alone in a bustling city
that I had to do things by myself.
Like that was probably the first timethat I went to go eat in public by myself.
It was the first time that I startedreaching out to people that I didn't know
(06:53):
to meet for coffee, for networking events.
It was when I started throwing myselfout into experiences or you know,
connections to see what could come of it.
I was a nobody in Richmond like, like Icame in and I was like, Hey, I'm here.
I don't know you, butdo you wanna hang out?
(07:15):
And that one month unpaidinternship by myself in Richmond.
Like I still have journal entries thatI've seen from these, and I'm like
asking the most existential questions,but it gave me the opportunity to
explore myself and also what I reallywant and how I wanted to show up.
And it also gave me like thisamazing stepping stone to explore
(07:39):
opportunities that I don't think Iwould've been able to do if I actually
went by, like if I went with somebody.
So that's the second example.
The third example of when I startedfrom zero was when I moved abroad
for the first time in 2014 to Spain.
Okay.
So those first two things werea little bit like low stakes.
(08:02):
And then the second one whereI moved to Richmond was maybe
a little bit higher stakes, butnow I'm like going full throttle.
I'm going in and I wanted to have awhole different experience abroad.
So I moved to Spain in 2014.
As a, as an English teaching assistant.
And I lived abroad for about ninemonths in Spain in a different language
(08:25):
that I didn't actually really speak.
And in that time, like startingfrom zero was like really?
really starting from zero.
Like when I think about my parents andtheir immigration story or you know,
what it was like for them to come tothe United States after leaving Vietnam.
(08:47):
I kind of think about that.
And I also think to myself, am I stupidfor, um, doing something like this?
Like they came over to the United Statesso I could have like a comfortable
life and not start from zero.
And here Iam - first born, firstgen Vietnamese American daughter.
(09:09):
Uh, choosing to start from zero andto live abroad in a foreign country
and language and figuring out lifein a whole different country, culture
and language similar to my parents.
So this is, again, connecting backto is this an immigration story?
Am I repeating cycles?
Like what's going on here?
(09:30):
And I, like, that experience was amazing.
It's also really difficult.
I feel like that's a conversationfor another day, because the
biggest thing that I learned whenstarting from zero in a foreign
country language and in a completelydifferent culture, was my identity.
(09:51):
I learned that my identity isway more complex than just being
a person from the United States.
And, you know, I had hints of this whileI was living in the United States and,
you know, going to a predominantly whiteinstitute for college and surrounding
(10:13):
myself with diverse people and, you know,learning that not everybody has, you know,
a second or hyphenated culture there intheir household, but I, I was faced with
this reality of, hmm, who the heck amI and how do I actually wanna show up?
(10:37):
How are people perceiving me?
And that started because Idecided to start from zero.
And I think this is like the catalyst towhy I am so interested in identity and
culture and self-love and self-awareness.
Because that experience, thatfirst year living in Spain in
(10:57):
2014, like it was like a reckoning.
Y'all like I remember, I would say I'mfrom the United States, and then people
would look at me and they would be like,you are not from the United States.
And I was like, but I am, I promise I am.
And then I remember somebodywould tell me, you know, like,
(11:18):
oh, you're only American.
You're only.
You know, from the US and I waslike, I mean, yeah, I was born only
in the United States, but like Ihave a secondary culture, like in my
household I was raised around Vietnameseculture or like a blend of the two.
So what am I, who am I?
(11:40):
And in 2014 and also the second year thatI was living in Spain in 2015 to 2016, I
think that's when this like starting fromzero made me also start from zero with
understanding and accepting learning,loving this identity that I had and
have and kind of defining it for myself.
(12:03):
So after that, y'all are gettinglike my whole life story right
now, a summarized version of it.
So after moving abroad, Andteaching English for two years.
From 2014 to 2016, I decided,okay, I hate teaching abroad.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
Let's go try corporate America.
Corporate America.
I saw all of my friends making good moneyand moving out of their parents' house.
(12:28):
Um, they were buying cars and like,you know, living that American Dream
and I thought, what am I doing?
I'm over here like gallivantingthrough Europe and kind of making
good-ish money, but not really saving.
And yeah, my friends are buying carsand I am over here like buying flights
to Dublin, Ireland, but they get acool car, like they own something.
(12:53):
And so ya' girl got wrapped up inthis American Dream idea and I was
like, I'm gonna move back home.
So after two years teachingEnglish abroad, I realized, okay,
let's start from zero again.
Let's, let's go to figure out whatthis whole corporate America thing is.
And so I went home in June of 2016.
(13:14):
I got a full-time job and I wasrealizing, okay, I am gonna make
a name for myself in corporate.
I'm gonna try this thing out.
I'm gonna see what it's like to like makegood money, move out for real, buy a car,
do all these things, like all that I sawmy friends doing and then I realized,
oh, first I have reverse culture shock.
(13:35):
I was abroad for two years, livingin a foreign country, foreign
language, different culture.
I was like, what I mentioned before, Iwas exploring what my identity was, who
I was, um, how I was being perceived,how I wanted to present myself.
And then in that whole process, I movedback home to the United States and
then I realized, oh, um, I don't reallyfit into the United States anymore.
(13:58):
I don't really fit into this culture.
I don't really fit into thesebeliefs and these values and like how
people are acting these behaviors.
I had something else,like, I was confused.
And that's when I had super reverseculture shock of, well, if I don't really
belong in the United States anymore,and if I don't really fully fit in and
(14:21):
belong in Spain, where, where am I going?
And so this fresh start, this likestarting over and starting from zero
in the United States after beingabroad kind of made me question a
lot of, ok what am I going to do?
Like if I don't fit in here and if I don'tfit in there, and if I'm in limbo, if I
(14:44):
am a floater, where do I go from here?
And so what happened was I worked incorporate for a year and a half, and
after a year and a half of doing thecorporate lifestyle, I realized, okay,
I don't want to be in corporate anymore.
I don't like corporate.
I kind of knew that, but I realized ok,this is just affirming that I really
(15:08):
knew that I do not like corporate.
So what did I do?
I started working on my business,which is The Quirky Pineapple Studio.
I then, this is like a whole other thing.
I feel like I have to go intolike a whole separate podcast
episode to talk about that.
But I worked on The Quirky PineappleStudio and I was talking to my partner,
shout out to Mario, who is awesome, andalways being supportive for that, and we
(15:31):
decided, okay, you're gonna quit your job.
You're gonna start your business, thenyou move, you're gonna move back to Spain.
So I quit my job in December,2017, and I started my business.
I moved abroad at the same time.
And yeah, so all of that happenedwithin about a month time span.
So I quit my job the first weekof December, and then I launched
(15:54):
my business about two weeks later,and then I moved on Christmas.
Yeah, so I quit my job, I believe inDec, December 8th or something like that.
Started the businessone or two weeks after.
And then on the 25th, Mario and I flewout to Madrid to, to start our new life,
(16:17):
and that was, I don't know how manyexamples I've shared with you all now.
I think that was maybe likethe fifth example of starting
over and starting from zero.
I didn't know anyonein Spain, not really.
All of the friends that I had madeprior to, they were all English
teaching assistants and they werekind of moving on with their life
and they were doing other things.
They, some people went home, somepeople continued, but I was like
(16:40):
starting this whole new stage, likeI wasn't an English teacher anymore.
I was actually moving to Spainpermanently, and I was deciding that
this was going to be my life, like I amgoing to be a permanent resident abroad,
and I am going to be a business owner.
I'm gonna start my business.
And it was terrifying becauseone, I didn't know anyone.
(17:01):
It was a whole new city.
Like I wasn't living in the samecities or towns that I was living
in before when I was in Spain.
And I started from zero andscratch to build my network.
My name as Cassandra andThe Quirky Pineapple Studio.
I started from zero in scratch to.
, you know, build the business, a life, ahome, new friendships and all that stuff.
(17:25):
I definitely don't recommend quitting yourjob, starting a business and moving abroad
at the same time, within the same month.
I feel like every time I tellthat to people, they're like,
oh my gosh, you were so brave.
I'm like, mm.
Questionable choices I made.
Uh, it was really intense and I thinkthat start from zero moment that I.
(17:45):
Was not just like an identity crisis.
It was like extremely emotionally andmentally draining because there was so
much transition happening in my life, notjust from a personal standpoint of like
moving abroad, but also a professionalstandpoint of now I need to make money
(18:07):
doing something and I need to figureout how I sell my services and how I
actually make a name for the businessthat I have and the brand that I have.
And that was like a whole other thing ontop of, okay, I'm in a whole new place.
This is my home, this is my life, andit's time to make friends, find the cafes
(18:32):
that I like and just accept that likeI have decided that I want this life.
And I have decided that the UnitedStates is not necessarily my quote
unquote home anymore, but it is aplace that was home and now my home is
Spain and that still grappling with it.
(18:54):
Um, with my therapist, it's been like,eight years and I'm still working
through that, but it's a huge transition.
And, that's all thathappened in one month.
So starting from zero, figuring outwhat the heck I'm doing and having
like this identity crisis as wellas like professional development,
personal development, all these things.
(19:14):
So after that, another start fromzero moment, gosh, this all happened
I think within like a 10 year timespan so it's a lot going on here.
So another example of starting from zerois when I decided to become a location
in independent and realizing, okay,this is a lifestyle that I want to have.
(19:36):
I want to be location independentbecause I don't want my
business or my life to fully.
Be stationary.
I know I will be living betweenthe United States and Spain.
I know that I will have familyand friends in the United States
and Spain and wherever elsethat I travel and meet people.
So how can I develop a network or asupport or community if I am always
(20:04):
in one place, which is, I know whenI'm thinking and saying this out loud,
it makes sense to me in one place nowand, you know, really create community.
But in the beginning I just keptthinking, okay, I wanna be everywhere,
not everywhere, but like, you know,be intentional about, you know, being
in one place when I want to be in oneplace and another place if I want to
be in another place and not being tieddown because I have to be, you know, in
(20:28):
an office or in a very specific area.
So I had to start from zero basicallybecause I had to get used to throwing
myself into situations where I don't knowanyone and I don't know, lots of things.
So realizing like, you know, thereare different cultures and there are
(20:48):
different ways of doing things, beinglocation independent basically threw me
into situations where I didn't know theculture, I didn't know how people work.
I don't really know, liketheir working styles.
And I had to learn all of that and adapt.
And I think what is interestinghere is it's like not just one
(21:13):
moment of starting from zero.
It's like entering every relationship,business, relationship, friendship,
networking, uh, wherever I go, allof that is like starting from zero.
All of that is okay, I need tolike figure out what I'm doing.
I need to figure out how I'mgonna show up in this situation.
(21:33):
I need to figure out how I'm gonnashow up in this relationship, in
this friendship and understandhow they are also showing up.
Because now it's a mix of cultures, it'sa mix of identity so that it's a mix of
experiences and stuff and it's tiring.
One, I will be honest, it is a littletiring, but it's also pretty powerful
(21:54):
because I am able to adapt and learnand see where people are coming from.
So that is another example of startingfrom zero, but not just like one instance,
but like every instance I have, likeI'm recording this podcast right now in
a co-working space in San Diego with aclient that we have, like they have this
(22:19):
co-working space called You Belong Here.
Shout out to You Belong Herein their podcast studio.
It is amazing.
I wish you all could see me, but it'slike a whole vibe and I have to learn
how to start from zero basically inhere and kind of like adapt and learn
and pick up things because I don'tknow how people function in San Diego.
(22:40):
I don't know what likethe cultural norms are.
I don't really understand.
how they do business here, and I'mjust kind of floating along for the
ride and learning and adapting andlike adjusting as I go and like trying
to be intentional with how I show up.
So that's that.
And then last example is, uh, thisone's more business related, but it
(23:01):
is basically restructuring my businessat least four times in the past y past
five years that I've been running it.
Okay, that's not a flex.
It's actually, it's a whole thing.
And I realized that thingsbasically weren't working
within the past five years.
And every time that I realized thatit wasn't working, I had to let go
of certain ways of being, certainways of doing business, certain ways
(23:24):
of functioning, so that I could, youknow, create something that was more
aligned to how I wanted to work, morealigned to the business that I wanted
to have more aligned to my values, morealigned to the lifestyle I want to live.
And that is starting from zero each timelike, if I don't see these examples of
how I want to do business, how I wantto run my business, how I want to exist
(23:48):
and live, then I'm like imagining it.
I'm like creating from nothing, whichis really awesome one, and it's like,
oh, all these amazing opportunities,like the whole world is open for you.
But then it's also really scaryand unsure because you're kind of
(24:10):
like, am I doing the right thing?
So when I restructured the businessat least four times, what happened
was I had to let go a lot of alarge chunk of the business arm
because I was unhappy and stressed.
I had to let go of a large chunk ofbusiness profits, even though like it
was bringing in money, but it wasn'tmaking me happy and I had to let that
(24:35):
go because, yeah, money is awesome.
But like if I'm stressed, if I wakeup and like I can't move my neck
for a whole week because of thatstress, something has got to go.
And like I said before, I wanted tohave a business that fit my lifestyle
and not the other way around.
And you know, that is starting fromzero because like each time you like
(24:56):
test and experiment and try becauseyou think, you know, you like something
and then you do it and then you'relike, uh, oh no, this isn't for me.
And you have to start over.
And a lot of people, I think, at leastmy sister, when we were having this
conversation walking around, uh, SanDiego, actually, you know, it's scary
(25:17):
to like say, one, this isn't working.
Two, I need to make a change.
And then three, actually doing it.
But every time that I've startedover, every time I've started from
zero, every time I let something.
It's actually been amazingbecause when I learn so many new
things, I get to experience somany different like opportunities
(25:38):
that I probably wouldn't have.
I get to meet some really amazingpeople along the way, and I learned
different ways of being that I probablywouldn't have known before if I had
just stuck with whatever I wanted to do.
So those are all of my personalexamples of starting over.
I am curious to know whatyour examples are of starting
(26:00):
over or starting from zero.
If you wanna send me a message onInstagram @CassandraTLe, love to hear
your stories, but let's get into likewhen to know it's actually time to start
over, because I feel like most of thetime we probably know when it's time to
start over, but we don't actually takethe necessary steps to do it because it's
(26:22):
one, a lot of energy, a lot of work, alot of time, and it's freaking terrifying.
Like it's scary to like accept andadmit to yourself that something's
not working and then take action toactually make it work for you, because
it requires a whole different way ofbeing, a whole different way of thinking.
(26:42):
And sometimes we don't haveexamples of that in our lives
to show us that it's possible.
So we're like imagining and envisioningfrom like nothing and thinking
to ourselves, is this gonna work?
Am I being dumb of her?
Like starting over?
Am I being dumb of hermaking this decision?
I don't think so, because personally,every time, like I said before, every time
(27:03):
that I've started over it's been amazing.
But dang, this was like four to fivemonths prior to, I'm like, oh my
gosh, what am I doing with my life?
Okay, so when is it?
To start over.
When is it time that youcould need to start over?
So I've got three different reasons here.
The first one is noticing that you'refeeling stagnant and not growing.
(27:26):
And I wanna be clear, like you don'tneed to be growing all the time, but
feeling like you're stagnant and notgrowing means like you feel like your
skills life or whatever else is just notgoing anywhere or fully being utilized.
So you just feel stuck where youare, like you're in between what
could be and what is happening.
(27:48):
And I feel like that's likethat lost feeling that I keep
talking about in this podcast.
It's like the lost of, you're in betweenwhat could be and what is currently
happening and something has got togive, something has got to give there.
And that could be thedecision to start over.
(28:08):
That could be the, the decisionto start from zero and try.
Okay.
Number two, you're not feeling fulfilled.
So things are extremely boring.
Life is lacks lackluster, andthere's no joy in what you are doing.
You feel like you're floating by, likelife is the one that's pulling you
instead of you actively making choices.
(28:28):
And I feel like this happens a lot.
Like, you know, life gets busy sometimes.
You know, we're in busyseasons of our life.
We're trying to figureout, okay, what do we do?
What do we do?
And you're just kind of going,going, going on autopilot.
But I feel like when you are havinglike this gut feeling that you're not
feeling fulfilled, that everything isjust like boring, lackluster, you're
(28:49):
just floating by, that's when itcould be time to know to start over.
And the third reason is you're frustrated.
You either feel frustrated with yourself,your surrounding or your circumstances,
and then because you are frustrated,this is like a more personal thing.
(29:12):
I don't know if everybodygoes through this, but this is
something that I definitely wentthrough when I felt frustrated.
I kind of was like tired of my own shit.
I was like fed up with myself.
I was so fed up with myself becauseI was tired of my own shit for
not doing what I wanted to dobecause I was so scared to do it.
And that was usually lettinggo of something and starting.
(29:33):
And if this kind of like sounds familiar,I definitely recommend going back to
and listening to episode, I believeit's episode three where I go over
the three existential questions to askyourself before getting more visible.
And it's similar to that because I, inthat episode, I talk about, you know,
stifling a cough and like stiflingyour message because you're scared.
(29:56):
And I feel like this is similar, like youare so sick and tired of your own shit.
And you're so frustrated withyourself because you know, like, you
know, you want more for yourself.
You know you are capable of making bigchange, making big impact, doing something
(30:17):
that like really utilizes your skillsor, you know, shares your message or just
this something that brings you more joy.
And yet you're scared.
So you just go into this like cycleand loop of getting frustrated, getting
tired of your own shit for not doing it.
And you know, the same feeling of,okay, let me scroll, let me fill my
(30:41):
time with like non-nursing activities.
Let me numb myself becauseI'm too scared to do it.
And that's okay.
I mean, I get it.
It's really scary.
But if you're noticing that maybethis is the time to like explore, you
know, like, hmm, you are potentiallystuck in between what could be
(31:01):
and what is currently happening.
And I'm not here to be like, go do it.
Because I feel like there's alot of factors before telling
somebody to like go do something.
Especially if it's quit their job, starta business, move abroad, whatever it is.
Or like have a difficultconversation with someone to like
stop her relationship or whatever.
I'm not gonna be like, go do it, butI'm definitely just gonna be like,
(31:23):
hey maybe it's time to explore thatand figure out what your next steps
are, and if it makes sense to startfrom zero and start from scratch.
So let me read those again.
There are three things that Iwould just mentioned to know
(31:43):
when it's time to start over.
So we said, noticing thatyou're feeling stagnant and not.
, you're feeling unfulfilled andthat things are extremely boring.
Life is lack, lackluster, and there'sno joy in what you're doing, and you are
frustrated and tired of your own shitbecause of everything that's going on.
Now, if you're listening to this andyou're like, oh my gosh, it's me.
(32:05):
I'm ready to take action.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna do something.
Here are a few reminders forstarting over and starting from zero.
The first one is, you don't need anexternal circumstance to happen for
you to choose to start over and startagain if you are unhappy, unfulfilled,
or filled, lackluster with life.
I feel like this was, um, a situationthat I had right before I moved
(32:25):
abroad to Spain permanently in 2017.
I was working with a life coach atthat time, Deanne Vincent, and I
remember talking to her and I rememberher telling her, you know, I have
this fierce diva persona, like thisfierce diva persona only comes out
when something bad happens to me.
Like she comes out and she'slike, nah, dude, not today.
(32:47):
And I told her, you know, the fiercediva persona came out when I got broken
up with in college by a boyfriend.
And she was like, you know,Cassandra, like, this person
already exists inside of you.
You don't need something, quoteunquote, or like, you don't need
something bad to happen to you, tochoose to show up as this person.
(33:09):
And that like blew my fucking mindcuz I was like, what do you mean you
don't, I don't need an external thing.
Like I need something bad to happen to me.
I need something like not goodto happen to me, to like choose
because it'll force me to do it.
She's like, no, you, you have thepower to like choose right now.
So I just wanted to passthat on to you all and share.
(33:29):
, if you don't need an external circumstanceto happen, for you to choose to start over
and start again if you are not unhappy,unfulfilled, or feel lackluster with life.
The second one is if you are in the middleof like starting from scratch and starting
from zero, give yourself grace becausethere are a lot of feelings tied to this.
Like I feel like when everytime I do it, I'm like, oh.
I'm really happy that I did, and I'mreally happy that, you know, I decided
(33:52):
to take this chance and listen to mygut and, you know, choose a life that
is more aligned to what I want to do.
But I will, you know, be honest and thatit is equal parts excitement, sadness,
grief, fear, eagerness, anxiousness.
And if you listen to episode four of theI'm Lasso podcast where I talk about,
you know, rest in peace to the me that Ilearned to love, it's almost like that,
(34:17):
you have lots of feelings of grief andsadness because you're letting go of
this person that you were this personwith like specific behaviors, actions,
thoughts, beliefs to step into somethingelse, and that requires a lot of energy,
time, emotional capacity, mental capacity.
All of those things.
(34:38):
So give yourself grace becausethere are a lot of things, like
a lot of feelings tied to this.
And the last one, the last reminderthat I wanted to share with you all
is that each restart or reinventiongives you experiences and layers to
your story, your perspective, ideas,and how you show up in the world.
And that's awesome because that meansthat we all bring so much to the
(35:02):
world that we might not even realize.
Because of our unique experiencesof starting over and starting
from zero, like how cool is that?
Like if we were to think about all ofthe things that we went through every
time we started from Zero, every timewe started from scratch, like all of
those experiences, perspectives, ideas,thoughts, ways of being, understanding,
(35:24):
empathy, connection, all of those things.
One, on a personal level, I think thatjust reinforces that, damn, we are
so so powerful and we are so cool.
But then two, if we externalize itto our community and our, and to
our network, that gives us so manyopportunities to create new systems,
(35:45):
new structures that could be morewelcoming to even more people.
And I think that is where the poweris because one, when we are existing
in between what could be and what'shappening, we pick up lots of.
But then when we actually take action andstart doing the thing like that can be
(36:06):
applied to not just our personal lives,but like all of the relationships that we
have, and we're not losers for doing it.
It's actually brave, it's courageous.
It's awesome because not just are youchoosing to do something that's more
aligned with you, you're choosing to show.
(36:28):
And show other people that thereare different ways of being
that could be aligned for them.
That's fucking powerful.
That is fucking powerful.
So I'm gonna leave y'all with thatand with one question, because
I always leave with a question.
And that is where are youneeding to start over and let go.
(36:51):
And if you wanna sharewith me, send me a d.
On Instagram at @CassandraTLe,and I would love to talk about it.
All right, y'all stay fierce.
Spam.
If you're hearing this message, that meansyou made it to the end of this episode.
Yay.
Thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andthought to yourself, whoa, it me,
(37:12):
I'd love if you could share this withothers, post about it on social media
and or leave a rating and review.
Don't forget to subscribe.
Wanna hang out with me inother areas of the internet?
You can follow me on Instagram at@CassandraTLe for brand message and
content marketing tips and resources.
Check out my business@TheQuirkyPineappleStudio.
Thanks again and seeyou in the next episode.
(37:35):
Stay fierce fam.
And sometimes we don't haveexamples of that in our lives
to show us that it's possible.
So we're like imagining and envisioningfrom like nothing and thinking
to ourselves, is this gonna work?
Hello hello everyone.
I'm Cassandra Le and you'relistening to I'm Lost, so what?
The podcast exploring betweenbelonging and carving your own path
(00:22):
for all the peeps out there who kindof know what you're doing, but still
question what the fuck is going on?
Yeah, I'm with ya.
Hello, hello and welcomeback to the I'm Lost.
So what?
podcast this is episode five, andwe are talking about what it's
like to start over and from zero.
And is this an immigrant story?
(00:45):
Is this a story of reinvention,failure, growth, bravery, and courage?
Or is it just because we are lost and weare trying to find our footing in life.
Those are the questions that we are goingto be going over today in the podcast.
And shout out to my sister,Tatiana, for helping me pick out
this episode topic because she waslike, let's, let's talk about this.
(01:09):
Like what is it liketo actually start over?
What is it like to actually leave yourcomfort zone and do something else?
And I just wanna share with you all.
If you are in the process of startingover, if you're in the process
of thinking about starting over,starting over is not for losers.
(01:29):
And it's not like you are afailure or anything like that.
It's actually something amazing.
So I wanted to talk about my personalexamples of what it was like for me to
actually start over and I've actuallystarted over quite a few times in my life.
I feel like in various situations,whether it was in school, if it was with
(01:53):
work, if it was with like personal lifechoices, I feel like I've started over
from lots of things and even also withlike personal style and all of that stuff.
So we're gonna get into it.
I'm gonna share my personal examplesand then go into when to know.
It could be time to start overbecause I feel like sometimes
(02:13):
when we're thinking about startingover, we feel stuck around it.
We're like, is it time?
Do I need to?
And sometimes it is.
And I wanted to go over some of thesigns that I think we run into when
we know it's time to start over.
So getting into my personal examples, oneof the first things that I did, I think
(02:36):
for me that is actually very memorableis that I changed my degree in college
and it sounds like a super simple thing,but I originally went to University/
College with the intention of getting acommunications degree because I wanted
to become an event planner and I wantedto work in PR, and I wanted to become
(03:00):
like a journalist or something like that.
Then one drunken night at a house partyin college I was talking to, I don't
even know this person, like I don'tknow who they are, but they changed
the trajectory of my college career.
I went out onto the balcony toget some air and this person
was just like, Hey, who are you?
(03:21):
What's up?
How's everything going?
And we just started talking.
I was telling her, you know, Iwanted to be an event planner.
I wanted to work in events, I wanted tobe a wedding planner, and I wanted to do
things related to restaurants, customerservice, travel, and all of that stuff.
And she told me, oh, well thenwhy are you in communications?
(03:41):
Why don't you go studyHospitality management?
And she told me, okay, hospitalitymanagement is about, you know, hotel
management, event management, restaurantmanagement, all of those things.
All the things thatyou kind of want to do.
And you could thenbecome an event planner.
And I thought, oh hell yeah,that's exactly what I want.
(04:02):
I don't know this person, Idon't even remember their name.
I kind of vaguely rememberwhat they look like.
And from that conversation, Ibasically, woke up the next day
after this house party and was like,yeah, I'm gonna go change my major.
I'm gonna go change my degree.
So I went to my counselor's officeand I was like, Hey, you know what?
(04:26):
I think I'm gonna change fromcommunications to hospitality management.
And that random person that I met,uh, in that one drunken night on the
balcony who had no idea who I was,we probably, she probably doesn't
even know my name helped me reallyto start over and start from zero.
So that was like example number one.
(04:46):
I feel like that is like an easyone because it was low stakes.
I wasn't really into my communicationsmajor anymore, or I wasn't really
into my communications majorso heavily, like I was still a
freshman or sophomore at college.
And changing my degree was alittle bit easier, so then I
started from zero with that.
(05:07):
That's example number one, andI think that is like low stakes,
so a little higher stakes.
For my second example is whenI moved to Richmond, Virginia,
which is about two hours awayfrom where I am originally from.
For one month, by myself and my parentswere not happy when I decided to do this.
(05:27):
First of all, I decided to move fora one month unpaid internship with
a very popular thrift/ consignmentstore in the Richmond area.
And it's not like, you know, one ofthose internships where you're like,
oh, cool, you're moving for thisinternship, like this internship was
(05:47):
to work at a clothing store and tohelp them with their pr, help them with
their marketing, help them with events.
And I was just like, I don'tcare that it's unpaid- I'm going.
And I think I was maybe 20 years oldand I just thought, okay, I'm gonna
drive down to Richmond, by myself.
(06:09):
I don't know anyone.
I'm gonna go for an unpaid internshipand I'm just gonna figure it.
That I think was the first timethat I decided to do something for
myself without knowing anybody elseand like having a like safety net.
And that month completelychanged so many things for me.
(06:31):
It mainly gave me so much solace,like I was so alone in a bustling city
that I had to do things by myself.
Like that was probably the first timethat I went to go eat in public by myself.
It was the first time that I startedreaching out to people that I didn't know
(06:53):
to meet for coffee, for networking events.
It was when I started throwing myselfout into experiences or you know,
connections to see what could come of it.
I was a nobody in Richmond like, like Icame in and I was like, Hey, I'm here.
I don't know you, butdo you wanna hang out?
(07:15):
And that one month unpaidinternship by myself in Richmond.
Like I still have journal entries thatI've seen from these, and I'm like
asking the most existential questions,but it gave me the opportunity to
explore myself and also what I reallywant and how I wanted to show up.
And it also gave me like thisamazing stepping stone to explore
(07:39):
opportunities that I don't think Iwould've been able to do if I actually
went by, like if I went with somebody.
So that's the second example.
The third example of when I startedfrom zero was when I moved abroad
for the first time in 2014 to Spain.
Okay.
So those first two things werea little bit like low stakes.
(08:02):
And then the second one whereI moved to Richmond was maybe
a little bit higher stakes, butnow I'm like going full throttle.
I'm going in and I wanted to have awhole different experience abroad.
So I moved to Spain in 2014.
As a, as an English teaching assistant.
And I lived abroad for about ninemonths in Spain in a different language
(08:25):
that I didn't actually really speak.
And in that time, like startingfrom zero was like really?
really starting from zero.
Like when I think about my parents andtheir immigration story or you know,
what it was like for them to come tothe United States after leaving Vietnam.
(08:47):
I kind of think about that.
And I also think to myself, am I stupidfor, um, doing something like this?
Like they came over to the United Statesso I could have like a comfortable
life and not start from zero.
And here Iam - first born, firstgen Vietnamese American daughter.
(09:09):
Uh, choosing to start from zero andto live abroad in a foreign country
and language and figuring out lifein a whole different country, culture
and language similar to my parents.
So this is, again, connecting backto is this an immigration story?
Am I repeating cycles?
Like what's going on here?
(09:30):
And I, like, that experience was amazing.
It's also really difficult.
I feel like that's a conversationfor another day, because the
biggest thing that I learned whenstarting from zero in a foreign
country language and in a completelydifferent culture, was my identity.
(09:51):
I learned that my identity isway more complex than just being
a person from the United States.
And, you know, I had hints of this whileI was living in the United States and,
you know, going to a predominantly whiteinstitute for college and surrounding
(10:13):
myself with diverse people and, you know,learning that not everybody has, you know,
a second or hyphenated culture there intheir household, but I, I was faced with
this reality of, hmm, who the heck amI and how do I actually wanna show up?
(10:37):
How are people perceiving me?
And that started because Idecided to start from zero.
And I think this is like the catalyst towhy I am so interested in identity and
culture and self-love and self-awareness.
Because that experience, thatfirst year living in Spain in
(10:57):
2014, like it was like a reckoning.
Y'all like I remember, I would say I'mfrom the United States, and then people
would look at me and they would be like,you are not from the United States.
And I was like, but I am, I promise I am.
And then I remember somebodywould tell me, you know, like,
(11:18):
oh, you're only American.
You're only.
You know, from the US and I waslike, I mean, yeah, I was born only
in the United States, but like Ihave a secondary culture, like in my
household I was raised around Vietnameseculture or like a blend of the two.
So what am I, who am I?
(11:40):
And in 2014 and also the second year thatI was living in Spain in 2015 to 2016, I
think that's when this like starting fromzero made me also start from zero with
understanding and accepting learning,loving this identity that I had and
have and kind of defining it for myself.
(12:03):
So after that, y'all are gettinglike my whole life story right
now, a summarized version of it.
So after moving abroad, Andteaching English for two years.
From 2014 to 2016, I decided,okay, I hate teaching abroad.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
Let's go try corporate America.
Corporate America.
I saw all of my friends making good moneyand moving out of their parents' house.
(12:28):
Um, they were buying cars and like,you know, living that American Dream
and I thought, what am I doing?
I'm over here like gallivantingthrough Europe and kind of making
good-ish money, but not really saving.
And yeah, my friends are buying carsand I am over here like buying flights
to Dublin, Ireland, but they get acool car, like they own something.
(12:53):
And so ya' girl got wrapped up inthis American Dream idea and I was
like, I'm gonna move back home.
So after two years teachingEnglish abroad, I realized, okay,
let's start from zero again.
Let's, let's go to figure out whatthis whole corporate America thing is.
And so I went home in June of 2016.
(13:14):
I got a full-time job and I wasrealizing, okay, I am gonna make
a name for myself in corporate.
I'm gonna try this thing out.
I'm gonna see what it's like to like makegood money, move out for real, buy a car,
do all these things, like all that I sawmy friends doing and then I realized,
oh, first I have reverse culture shock.
(13:35):
I was abroad for two years, livingin a foreign country, foreign
language, different culture.
I was like, what I mentioned before, Iwas exploring what my identity was, who
I was, um, how I was being perceived,how I wanted to present myself.
And then in that whole process, I movedback home to the United States and
then I realized, oh, um, I don't reallyfit into the United States anymore.
(13:58):
I don't really fit into this culture.
I don't really fit into thesebeliefs and these values and like how
people are acting these behaviors.
I had something else,like, I was confused.
And that's when I had super reverseculture shock of, well, if I don't really
belong in the United States anymore,and if I don't really fully fit in and
(14:21):
belong in Spain, where, where am I going?
And so this fresh start, this likestarting over and starting from zero
in the United States after beingabroad kind of made me question a
lot of, ok what am I going to do?
Like if I don't fit in here and if I don'tfit in there, and if I'm in limbo, if I
(14:44):
am a floater, where do I go from here?
And so what happened was I worked incorporate for a year and a half, and
after a year and a half of doing thecorporate lifestyle, I realized, okay,
I don't want to be in corporate anymore.
I don't like corporate.
I kind of knew that, but I realized ok,this is just affirming that I really
(15:08):
knew that I do not like corporate.
So what did I do?
I started working on my business,which is The Quirky Pineapple Studio.
I then, this is like a whole other thing.
I feel like I have to go intolike a whole separate podcast
episode to talk about that.
But I worked on The Quirky PineappleStudio and I was talking to my partner,
shout out to Mario, who is awesome, andalways being supportive for that, and we
(15:31):
decided, okay, you're gonna quit your job.
You're gonna start your business, thenyou move, you're gonna move back to Spain.
So I quit my job in December,2017, and I started my business.
I moved abroad at the same time.
And yeah, so all of that happenedwithin about a month time span.
So I quit my job the first weekof December, and then I launched
(15:54):
my business about two weeks later,and then I moved on Christmas.
Yeah, so I quit my job, I believe inDec, December 8th or something like that.
Started the businessone or two weeks after.
And then on the 25th, Mario and I flewout to Madrid to, to start our new life,
(16:17):
and that was, I don't know how manyexamples I've shared with you all now.
I think that was maybe likethe fifth example of starting
over and starting from zero.
I didn't know anyonein Spain, not really.
All of the friends that I had madeprior to, they were all English
teaching assistants and they werekind of moving on with their life
and they were doing other things.
They, some people went home, somepeople continued, but I was like
(16:40):
starting this whole new stage, likeI wasn't an English teacher anymore.
I was actually moving to Spainpermanently, and I was deciding that
this was going to be my life, like I amgoing to be a permanent resident abroad,
and I am going to be a business owner.
I'm gonna start my business.
And it was terrifying becauseone, I didn't know anyone.
(17:01):
It was a whole new city.
Like I wasn't living in the samecities or towns that I was living
in before when I was in Spain.
And I started from zero andscratch to build my network.
My name as Cassandra andThe Quirky Pineapple Studio.
I started from zero in scratch to.
, you know, build the business, a life, ahome, new friendships and all that stuff.
(17:25):
I definitely don't recommend quitting yourjob, starting a business and moving abroad
at the same time, within the same month.
I feel like every time I tellthat to people, they're like,
oh my gosh, you were so brave.
I'm like, mm.
Questionable choices I made.
Uh, it was really intense and I thinkthat start from zero moment that I.
(17:45):
Was not just like an identity crisis.
It was like extremely emotionally andmentally draining because there was so
much transition happening in my life, notjust from a personal standpoint of like
moving abroad, but also a professionalstandpoint of now I need to make money
(18:07):
doing something and I need to figureout how I sell my services and how I
actually make a name for the businessthat I have and the brand that I have.
And that was like a whole other thing ontop of, okay, I'm in a whole new place.
This is my home, this is my life, andit's time to make friends, find the cafes
(18:32):
that I like and just accept that likeI have decided that I want this life.
And I have decided that the UnitedStates is not necessarily my quote
unquote home anymore, but it is aplace that was home and now my home is
Spain and that still grappling with it.
(18:54):
Um, with my therapist, it's been like,eight years and I'm still working
through that, but it's a huge transition.
And, that's all thathappened in one month.
So starting from zero, figuring outwhat the heck I'm doing and having
like this identity crisis as wellas like professional development,
personal development, all these things.
(19:14):
So after that, another start fromzero moment, gosh, this all happened
I think within like a 10 year timespan so it's a lot going on here.
So another example of starting from zerois when I decided to become a location
in independent and realizing, okay,this is a lifestyle that I want to have.
(19:36):
I want to be location independentbecause I don't want my
business or my life to fully.
Be stationary.
I know I will be living betweenthe United States and Spain.
I know that I will have familyand friends in the United States
and Spain and wherever elsethat I travel and meet people.
So how can I develop a network or asupport or community if I am always
(20:04):
in one place, which is, I know whenI'm thinking and saying this out loud,
it makes sense to me in one place nowand, you know, really create community.
But in the beginning I just keptthinking, okay, I wanna be everywhere,
not everywhere, but like, you know,be intentional about, you know, being
in one place when I want to be in oneplace and another place if I want to
be in another place and not being tieddown because I have to be, you know, in
(20:28):
an office or in a very specific area.
So I had to start from zero basicallybecause I had to get used to throwing
myself into situations where I don't knowanyone and I don't know, lots of things.
So realizing like, you know, thereare different cultures and there are
(20:48):
different ways of doing things, beinglocation independent basically threw me
into situations where I didn't know theculture, I didn't know how people work.
I don't really know, liketheir working styles.
And I had to learn all of that and adapt.
And I think what is interestinghere is it's like not just one
(21:13):
moment of starting from zero.
It's like entering every relationship,business, relationship, friendship,
networking, uh, wherever I go, allof that is like starting from zero.
All of that is okay, I need tolike figure out what I'm doing.
I need to figure out how I'mgonna show up in this situation.
(21:33):
I need to figure out how I'm gonnashow up in this relationship, in
this friendship and understandhow they are also showing up.
Because now it's a mix of cultures, it'sa mix of identity so that it's a mix of
experiences and stuff and it's tiring.
One, I will be honest, it is a littletiring, but it's also pretty powerful
(21:54):
because I am able to adapt and learnand see where people are coming from.
So that is another example of startingfrom zero, but not just like one instance,
but like every instance I have, likeI'm recording this podcast right now in
a co-working space in San Diego with aclient that we have, like they have this
(22:19):
co-working space called You Belong Here.
Shout out to You Belong Herein their podcast studio.
It is amazing.
I wish you all could see me, but it'slike a whole vibe and I have to learn
how to start from zero basically inhere and kind of like adapt and learn
and pick up things because I don'tknow how people function in San Diego.
(22:40):
I don't know what likethe cultural norms are.
I don't really understand.
how they do business here, and I'mjust kind of floating along for the
ride and learning and adapting andlike adjusting as I go and like trying
to be intentional with how I show up.
So that's that.
And then last example is, uh, thisone's more business related, but it
(23:01):
is basically restructuring my businessat least four times in the past y past
five years that I've been running it.
Okay, that's not a flex.
It's actually, it's a whole thing.
And I realized that thingsbasically weren't working
within the past five years.
And every time that I realized thatit wasn't working, I had to let go
of certain ways of being, certainways of doing business, certain ways
(23:24):
of functioning, so that I could, youknow, create something that was more
aligned to how I wanted to work, morealigned to the business that I wanted
to have more aligned to my values, morealigned to the lifestyle I want to live.
And that is starting from zero each timelike, if I don't see these examples of
how I want to do business, how I wantto run my business, how I want to exist
(23:48):
and live, then I'm like imagining it.
I'm like creating from nothing, whichis really awesome one, and it's like,
oh, all these amazing opportunities,like the whole world is open for you.
But then it's also really scaryand unsure because you're kind of
(24:10):
like, am I doing the right thing?
So when I restructured the businessat least four times, what happened
was I had to let go a lot of alarge chunk of the business arm
because I was unhappy and stressed.
I had to let go of a large chunk ofbusiness profits, even though like it
was bringing in money, but it wasn'tmaking me happy and I had to let that
(24:35):
go because, yeah, money is awesome.
But like if I'm stressed, if I wakeup and like I can't move my neck
for a whole week because of thatstress, something has got to go.
And like I said before, I wanted tohave a business that fit my lifestyle
and not the other way around.
And you know, that is starting fromzero because like each time you like
(24:56):
test and experiment and try becauseyou think, you know, you like something
and then you do it and then you'relike, uh, oh no, this isn't for me.
And you have to start over.
And a lot of people, I think, at leastmy sister, when we were having this
conversation walking around, uh, SanDiego, actually, you know, it's scary
(25:17):
to like say, one, this isn't working.
Two, I need to make a change.
And then three, actually doing it.
But every time that I've startedover, every time I've started from
zero, every time I let something.
It's actually been amazingbecause when I learn so many new
things, I get to experience somany different like opportunities
(25:38):
that I probably wouldn't have.
I get to meet some really amazingpeople along the way, and I learned
different ways of being that I probablywouldn't have known before if I had
just stuck with whatever I wanted to do.
So those are all of my personalexamples of starting over.
I am curious to know whatyour examples are of starting
(26:00):
over or starting from zero.
If you wanna send me a message onInstagram @CassandraTLe, love to hear
your stories, but let's get into likewhen to know it's actually time to start
over, because I feel like most of thetime we probably know when it's time to
start over, but we don't actually takethe necessary steps to do it because it's
(26:22):
one, a lot of energy, a lot of work, alot of time, and it's freaking terrifying.
Like it's scary to like accept andadmit to yourself that something's
not working and then take action toactually make it work for you, because
it requires a whole different way ofbeing, a whole different way of thinking.
(26:42):
And sometimes we don't haveexamples of that in our lives
to show us that it's possible.
So we're like imagining and envisioningfrom like nothing and thinking
to ourselves, is this gonna work?
Am I being dumb of her?
Like starting over?
Am I being dumb of hermaking this decision?
I don't think so, because personally,every time, like I said before, every time
(27:03):
that I've started over it's been amazing.
But dang, this was like four to fivemonths prior to, I'm like, oh my
gosh, what am I doing with my life?
Okay, so when is it?
To start over.
When is it time that youcould need to start over?
So I've got three different reasons here.
The first one is noticing that you'refeeling stagnant and not growing.
(27:26):
And I wanna be clear, like you don'tneed to be growing all the time, but
feeling like you're stagnant and notgrowing means like you feel like your
skills life or whatever else is just notgoing anywhere or fully being utilized.
So you just feel stuck where youare, like you're in between what
could be and what is happening.
(27:48):
And I feel like that's likethat lost feeling that I keep
talking about in this podcast.
It's like the lost of, you're in betweenwhat could be and what is currently
happening and something has got togive, something has got to give there.
And that could be thedecision to start over.
(28:08):
That could be the, the decisionto start from zero and try.
Okay.
Number two, you're not feeling fulfilled.
So things are extremely boring.
Life is lacks lackluster, andthere's no joy in what you are doing.
You feel like you're floating by, likelife is the one that's pulling you
instead of you actively making choices.
(28:28):
And I feel like this happens a lot.
Like, you know, life gets busy sometimes.
You know, we're in busyseasons of our life.
We're trying to figureout, okay, what do we do?
What do we do?
And you're just kind of going,going, going on autopilot.
But I feel like when you are havinglike this gut feeling that you're not
feeling fulfilled, that everything isjust like boring, lackluster, you're
(28:49):
just floating by, that's when itcould be time to know to start over.
And the third reason is you're frustrated.
You either feel frustrated with yourself,your surrounding or your circumstances,
and then because you are frustrated,this is like a more personal thing.
(29:12):
I don't know if everybodygoes through this, but this is
something that I definitely wentthrough when I felt frustrated.
I kind of was like tired of my own shit.
I was like fed up with myself.
I was so fed up with myself becauseI was tired of my own shit for
not doing what I wanted to dobecause I was so scared to do it.
And that was usually lettinggo of something and starting.
(29:33):
And if this kind of like sounds familiar,I definitely recommend going back to
and listening to episode, I believeit's episode three where I go over
the three existential questions to askyourself before getting more visible.
And it's similar to that because I, inthat episode, I talk about, you know,
stifling a cough and like stiflingyour message because you're scared.
(29:56):
And I feel like this is similar, like youare so sick and tired of your own shit.
And you're so frustrated withyourself because you know, like, you
know, you want more for yourself.
You know you are capable of making bigchange, making big impact, doing something
(30:17):
that like really utilizes your skillsor, you know, shares your message or just
this something that brings you more joy.
And yet you're scared.
So you just go into this like cycleand loop of getting frustrated, getting
tired of your own shit for not doing it.
And you know, the same feeling of,okay, let me scroll, let me fill my
(30:41):
time with like non-nursing activities.
Let me numb myself becauseI'm too scared to do it.
And that's okay.
I mean, I get it.
It's really scary.
But if you're noticing that maybethis is the time to like explore, you
know, like, hmm, you are potentiallystuck in between what could be
(31:01):
and what is currently happening.
And I'm not here to be like, go do it.
Because I feel like there's alot of factors before telling
somebody to like go do something.
Especially if it's quit their job, starta business, move abroad, whatever it is.
Or like have a difficultconversation with someone to like
stop her relationship or whatever.
I'm not gonna be like, go do it, butI'm definitely just gonna be like,
(31:23):
hey maybe it's time to explore thatand figure out what your next steps
are, and if it makes sense to startfrom zero and start from scratch.
So let me read those again.
There are three things that Iwould just mentioned to know
(31:43):
when it's time to start over.
So we said, noticing thatyou're feeling stagnant and not.
, you're feeling unfulfilled andthat things are extremely boring.
Life is lack, lackluster, and there'sno joy in what you're doing, and you are
frustrated and tired of your own shitbecause of everything that's going on.
Now, if you're listening to this andyou're like, oh my gosh, it's me.
(32:05):
I'm ready to take action.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna do something.
Here are a few reminders forstarting over and starting from zero.
The first one is, you don't need anexternal circumstance to happen for
you to choose to start over and startagain if you are unhappy, unfulfilled,
or filled, lackluster with life.
I feel like this was, um, a situationthat I had right before I moved
(32:25):
abroad to Spain permanently in 2017.
I was working with a life coach atthat time, Deanne Vincent, and I
remember talking to her and I rememberher telling her, you know, I have
this fierce diva persona, like thisfierce diva persona only comes out
when something bad happens to me.
Like she comes out and she'slike, nah, dude, not today.
(32:47):
And I told her, you know, the fiercediva persona came out when I got broken
up with in college by a boyfriend.
And she was like, you know,Cassandra, like, this person
already exists inside of you.
You don't need something, quoteunquote, or like, you don't need
something bad to happen to you, tochoose to show up as this person.
(33:09):
And that like blew my fucking mindcuz I was like, what do you mean you
don't, I don't need an external thing.
Like I need something bad to happen to me.
I need something like not goodto happen to me, to like choose
because it'll force me to do it.
She's like, no, you, you have thepower to like choose right now.
So I just wanted to passthat on to you all and share.
(33:29):
, if you don't need an external circumstanceto happen, for you to choose to start over
and start again if you are not unhappy,unfulfilled, or feel lackluster with life.
The second one is if you are in the middleof like starting from scratch and starting
from zero, give yourself grace becausethere are a lot of feelings tied to this.
Like I feel like when everytime I do it, I'm like, oh.
I'm really happy that I did, and I'mreally happy that, you know, I decided
(33:52):
to take this chance and listen to mygut and, you know, choose a life that
is more aligned to what I want to do.
But I will, you know, be honest and thatit is equal parts excitement, sadness,
grief, fear, eagerness, anxiousness.
And if you listen to episode four of theI'm Lasso podcast where I talk about,
you know, rest in peace to the me that Ilearned to love, it's almost like that,
(34:17):
you have lots of feelings of grief andsadness because you're letting go of
this person that you were this personwith like specific behaviors, actions,
thoughts, beliefs to step into somethingelse, and that requires a lot of energy,
time, emotional capacity, mental capacity.
All of those things.
(34:38):
So give yourself grace becausethere are a lot of things, like
a lot of feelings tied to this.
And the last one, the last reminderthat I wanted to share with you all
is that each restart or reinventiongives you experiences and layers to
your story, your perspective, ideas,and how you show up in the world.
And that's awesome because that meansthat we all bring so much to the
(35:02):
world that we might not even realize.
Because of our unique experiencesof starting over and starting
from zero, like how cool is that?
Like if we were to think about all ofthe things that we went through every
time we started from Zero, every timewe started from scratch, like all of
those experiences, perspectives, ideas,thoughts, ways of being, understanding,
(35:24):
empathy, connection, all of those things.
One, on a personal level, I think thatjust reinforces that, damn, we are
so so powerful and we are so cool.
But then two, if we externalize itto our community and our, and to
our network, that gives us so manyopportunities to create new systems,
(35:45):
new structures that could be morewelcoming to even more people.
And I think that is where the poweris because one, when we are existing
in between what could be and what'shappening, we pick up lots of.
But then when we actually take action andstart doing the thing like that can be
(36:06):
applied to not just our personal lives,but like all of the relationships that we
have, and we're not losers for doing it.
It's actually brave, it's courageous.
It's awesome because not just are youchoosing to do something that's more
aligned with you, you're choosing to show.
(36:28):
And show other people that thereare different ways of being
that could be aligned for them.
That's fucking powerful.
That is fucking powerful.
So I'm gonna leave y'all with thatand with one question, because
I always leave with a question.
And that is where are youneeding to start over and let go.
(36:51):
And if you wanna sharewith me, send me a d.
On Instagram at @CassandraTLe,and I would love to talk about it.
All right, y'all stay fierce.
Spam.
If you're hearing this message, that meansyou made it to the end of this episode.
Yay.
Thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andthought to yourself, whoa, it me,
(37:12):
I'd love if you could share this withothers, post about it on social media
and or leave a rating and review.
Don't forget to subscribe.
Wanna hang out with me inother areas of the internet?
You can follow me on Instagram at@CassandraTLe for brand message and
content marketing tips and resources.
Check out my business@TheQuirkyPineappleStudio.
Thanks again and seeyou in the next episode.
(37:35):
Stay fierce fam.
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