June 14, 2024 • 27 mins
What happens when enjoying one of your favorite hobbies turns into one of the scariest moments of your life? It becomes the inspirational source for a still-true life mantra. In the first of a two-part series honoring the 10 year anniversary of this life changing event, CH reflects on how breaking her ankle while surfing ultimately helped her form one of her most important life mantras: the strongest part is the broken part. This episode is a vivid recount of not just a physical injury, but a journey of resilience and recovery - overcoming both physical and emotional challenges. Tune in to hear about the initial incident and stay tuned for part two, which will delve into the recovery process and the lessons learned.
Show Notes
- The city CH was surfing at is Westport, Washington.
- The surf break she was at is known as "The Jetty." More information and a visual can be found here via ExperienceWestport.com.
- A full list of CH's key life mantras can be found on the About section of our Web site, LifeNotesfromChair17Podcast.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This week's Life Note, part one of how one of my most important life mantras
would come from one of the scariest moments of my life.
Music.
Welcome to Life Notes from Chair 17, a podcast dedicated to sharing life stories,
(00:21):
wisdoms and inspirations as we navigate life's journey.
Host CH aims to share thoughtful perspectives and insights from her own life
journey, as well as those of special guests and contributors.
Tune in for thoughtful conversations about lessons learned, wisdoms gained,
experiences had and inspirations shared.
(00:42):
Find us where you get your podcasts and be sure to hit follow or subscribe so
you never miss an episode.
Now enjoy this week's episode.
Music.
All righty, welcome back in, friends, to another episode of Life Notes from Chair17.
(01:02):
I'm your host, C.H., and as always, I thank you once again for finding me in
this corner of the podcast universe.
As always, I'd like to start off by thanking our returning C-17ers,
which includes our growing list of international returning C-17ers.
Thank you so much for your continued support and tuning in each week.
(01:27):
But if you are tuning in for the first time, maybe you've just found us on one
of the major podcast platforms or via our website out on Life Notes from Chair17podcast.com.
A warm welcome in to you.
Thank you for wanting to check us out. We hope you like what you hear and you
(01:48):
will want to continue to tune in.
So this episode is an anniversary episode, but it is not an anniversary episode for the podcast.
And it is the first time we are doing a part one, part two kind of storytelling.
And it is to share the full story of a very significant life event that happened
(02:13):
to me 10 years ago this month.
And that was when I broke my ankle while I was surfing.
Now, the irony is that the next episode will actually post exactly 10 years
to the day from when the accident happened.
(02:34):
So June 21st of 2024.
That will be part two. and I broke my ankle on June 21st, 2014,
which is a day that I recall with ridiculous clarity and I'm going to say perfection
of detail even though I do not remember where I put my keys two minutes ago.
(03:00):
So I knew this 10-year anniversary was coming and yet I still had one of those
what what I will call WTF,
or as I like to say, what the focaccia, moments of how has it actually been 10 years.
But as I approach this anniversary, it's given me a lot of time to pause and
(03:23):
reflect, not only on that moment,
which I can say was one of the scariest of my life, but it also represents the
moment in my life when one of
my life mantras came into being because I developed it during my recovery.
And that is, the strongest part is the broken part.
(03:44):
So to begin this story, I think it's really important to call out that up until
that point in my life, I had never actually broken a bone.
And I will tap the table here. Touch wood, I would really like to never do that again.
And I do think that is probably a miracle given as a younger school athlete,
(04:08):
I tended to be pretty hard charging.
And I think my mother once said it was kind of a miracle that I made it through
those years without significant injury while I watched my best friend tear her
MCL and other folks go through some pretty traumatic injuries.
I somehow, again, touch wood, escaped. But the other strange irony in this story
(04:29):
is I also had never injured myself surfing before or in the ocean, for that matter.
Now, as longtime listeners will know, I grew up in Southern California,
so I had been around the ocean most of my life.
And at the time of this accident, I had been surfing for about 10 years.
(04:50):
And I had not once gotten injured before.
While taking up surfing, save for being stung by a stingray,
actually, which, by the way, hurts like hell.
Sidebar, if this ever happens to you, please put hot water on it immediately.
That's what calms it down. Do not ice it whatsoever.
(05:11):
Pro tip. Makes it worse, but I digress.
And in moving up to Washington, it took me about three years to even want to
try to surf up here, mostly because I wasn't really keen on the extra cold water, even in the summer.
And it was a bit of a drive out from Seattle to get to one of the main surf spots called Westport.
(05:34):
And I had been really spoiled being able to get to the beach within like 20
minutes being in Southern California.
So this felt like a trek.
I had friends that did it all the time. I just kind of thought, no.
I also lived very close to Lake Washington and
I had kind of taken up stand-up paddleboarding at the time so
I sort of had my water outlet and and
(05:57):
trekking all the way out to to the beach to surf just didn't have the same appeal
and yet the first time I actually do finally go out there and I do get in the
water and I do paddle out to surf within 45 minutes of being there I have this
serious injury happened to me.
(06:17):
So you all are probably like, okay, CH, so how did it happen, right?
I did the thing that you are never
supposed to do when you are surfing or what they teach you not to do.
And it is something I never did. And all the time I was surfing in Southern
California, even when I was first a Grom, starting out taking lessons.
(06:38):
And that is you do not, and you're not supposed to jump off your board in shallow water.
Or in the shallower water. This is a big no-no.
You are taught not to extend your legs, particularly as you get closer to shore,
because you just don't know how shallow it is underneath you.
(07:00):
And if you can imagine that the
way you're supposed to do this safely is you're kind of supposed to kneel down
or crouch down and sort of roll off the board or slow the board down and turn
it around depending on how the wave ride ends and depending on how far in you
(07:20):
take your ride towards the shore.
Sometimes if you've ever been to the beach and you've ever watched surfers,
you just see people sort of come to a halt because the wave runs out of energy.
It stops carrying you and the people just sink down into the water.
Maybe they kind of roll off and they fall over and then they get back on the board and paddle out.
(07:42):
Sometimes you'll see someone one kick off the wave, which means they decide
to end the ride before the wave runs out of energy,
and they sort of swoop back up over the wave and sort of gently fall into the
water and keep paddling out.
Whatever the case may be, however you decide to end your ride,
(08:02):
jumping off the board to plant your feet in the sand is a no-no.
Not saying everyone who does this, either accidentally or unintentionally,
breaks their ankle, but that's really like not the way you're supposed to do it.
And for some reason that day, that's exactly what I did.
And I instantly knew I had done something wrong.
(08:25):
It was like this strange sound that ran through my entire body,
like a vibration, and it ran through all of my other bones in my body.
And I'm not going to go into the gruesome detail or anything like that, but suffice it to say,
I knew I had broken something because I instantly reached down to grab my ankle
(08:49):
and I literally could move it back into alignment with the rest of my leg.
So, yeah, that was not great. And that saying of your life flashing before your
eyes when something sort of traumatic suddenly happens to you, that is really true.
In that moment, I saw my entire summer of plans sort of fall like dominoes.
(09:13):
There would be no fundraising bike ride for cancer.
There would be no hiking, no paddling, no volunteer rangering on Mount Rainier.
It just all seemed to fade to black, and it was surreal.
And as I sort of regained focus, I somehow limped my way out of the water,
and I was dragging my board with me, and this did confirm I really did do something wrong.
(09:36):
And I had had my fair share of injuries during my athlete era,
and I had limped off fields multiple times, and this was not that.
It was so difficult to walk, and I could hardly put any weight on it,
and I was just in a lot of pain.
And so when I was clear of the water, I sat down in the sand and I worked to
(09:58):
get my little wetsuit boot off because for some compelling reason,
I wanted to see my ankle as if looking at it would somehow erase what just happened.
Happened and when I struggled to get it off and I finally did get the little
boot off, the weirdest thing was it looked fine.
It looked a little swollen but not something that I thought I would see.
(10:23):
I don't know what I thought I would see.
Some sort of compound fracture or something. I don't know. It just looked kind
of swollen like, oh, maybe you really just did twist it, although I knew better.
And I will say I believe to this day the reason that it didn't look maybe Maybe
worse than it was is because I was wearing a wetsuit and wetsuit boots.
And so with that, there is compression that was already working to keep that
(10:46):
swelling in check. I don't have any official...
Confirmation of that. That's just a gut feeling that I have.
And as I kind of stared at it for a while, I was like, what has happened here?
This can't be real, right? This is not actually happening.
And I started to realize I needed to flag down those who I was with that day
(11:08):
because I'm going to need some help. I can't walk off this beach.
And I had noted and noticed we
had spread out in the water and also the
current was kind of strong that day so it was kind of pulling everyone down
the beach and such and I remember sort of frantically
starting to wave my hands in the air hoping maybe
(11:28):
if they were in the water and they looked back
they could see me that didn't work
I think that went on for about five minutes or ten minutes and
finally I started to get up and I
did actually spot one of them walking up the
beach and I got myself
toward them and I could sense that they could see in me something was really
(11:54):
wrong wrong their face was not their normal face and when I finally said to
them I think I've broken my ankle their expression turned to shock.
And to their credit, they remained totally calm, tried to help carry me up the
beach, but I was way too heavy and I was in way too much pain.
(12:15):
And I was like, no, y'all, you've got to get to the beach. Park Ranger, you've got to call 911.
You can't move me. I can't move myself. This is not going to work.
And they helped me sit back down and, you know, as you always do, I'll be fine.
Just go get help and come back. One of them left.
(12:37):
But one of them stayed with me, and that was my good friend Carly,
who from that day forward,
we were and are forever bonded for the kindness and the generousness with which
she took care of me in a very unexpected moment for her and for her friend that
(13:00):
she had invited that day.
It was the three of us, so yay me for ruining the summer surf expedition to
Westport, Washington on that particular day.
But I do remember laying down in the sand, sort of the sun on my face,
hearing the ocean waves in the background, and somehow that seemed both calming
(13:21):
but also not because it was as if it was the scene of the crime.
And I started to sense people on
the beach noticed something was wrong
because in my peripheral vision started to
see people walk up hey what's going on is she okay and I'm sure we must have
made this scene because you know Carly and her friend were trying to carry me
(13:43):
off the beach only to have to set me back down in the sand with one of with
her friend running up to get help and then and Carly kneeling down to stay with me.
And it's in that moment that a fellow surfer stopped to ask what happened to me.
And I'm not making this up, and I could not have scripted this,
(14:03):
but it turns out on that day she was off duty,
and she was actually an emergency room nurse at the hospital that we were ultimately
going to take me to, which was that in Aberdeen, Washington.
And her name was Anne. Anne, and she, along with Carly, really were my protective
angels for that day, for real.
(14:26):
And the funny part about Anne is before all of this happened,
and we were sort of getting ready to go into the water, I remember seeing her
and watching her surf because she really looked very much like my Aunt Cass.
And she had sort of this graceful way of surfing in the water.
And you can generally tell who the locals are at a given surf spot.
(14:49):
They just know the break.
They have sort of effortless glide in the water.
They don't seem like they're trying very hard. The ocean is not getting the
better of them. And she definitely had all of that going for her.
So I knew that she was a local. And in watching her, it was reminding me of
my own days of surfing my favorite surf break in Southern California, which is San Onofre.
(15:15):
And so when she came up to me as I was lying down.
In my head, I thought, oh, my gosh, I know who you are only because I saw you earlier.
And I didn't say that to her, but I will never, ever forget what she did for me that day.
And just like Carly, who did not leave my side either by holding my hand the
(15:36):
entire time I was on the beach, Anne kept reassuring me I was going to be okay.
And once the ranger and emergency services arrived, and actually began working
with them to treat me and get me prepped to be transported.
And they all knew I was in a lot of pain, but I'll tell you the worst of that
was when I had to get put into the bucket, the stretcher, to be carried off
(16:00):
the beach to the ambulance,
because it was going to be about a 20-25 minute drive back into Aberdeen.
And even the slightest movement for me on
that sand was just mind-numbing and
so when they had to roll me and then roll me into the
stretcher I remember being like guys
(16:22):
can you just stop moving me please
it is just not good
right now and I still cringe actually thinking about
that to this day and it's funny drafting out
this episode's had some flashbacks for me but I
don't know if anybody else has had traumatic injury in a
way where you are in a crowd of people or you're around a lot of people and
(16:45):
I don't know if this has happened where you feel bad you feel something like
guilty and you keep saying to everyone around you I'm so sorry I am so sorry
that this happened for me.
It's the strangest feeling and was the strangest feeling to be injured like
that and then have all these people who you have no idea who they are start coming to your aid.
(17:08):
And yet in that, you feel like you've ruined their day, which in this case was
literally the picture-perfect start of summer day. We had blue skies.
We had warm temps. I was actually getting out of the water to take off my wetsuit
hat, and I think I was going to remove my gloves. I wasn't sure.
(17:32):
And yet now, here I was lying on the beach with a broken ankle,
and it felt as if I was stealing that day away from not only the friends I was
with, but kind strangers who had stopped to ask if they could help.
And that included a passerby who
decided he wanted to hold a towel so that
it could shade my face and I wouldn't have to stare directly
(17:55):
into the sun and so there's incredible outpouring of
kindness and yet somehow as the injured person you just feel like this burden
even though in actual fact all the people around you are way more worried about
you in that moment than what's going on for them or whether the sky is blue or the sun is out.
(18:16):
And so I'll never forget feeling that contrast of this generous kindness of
people and yet feeling so bad that they had to do this for me.
I was carried off the beach as gently as they could to the ambulance and they
did ask Anne actually to ride with me to the hospital.
I learned later though she was legally bound to do that because she was the
(18:40):
senior medical person on scene.
So she outranked the rest of the emergency medical technicians or EMTs as we call them.
And she also had administered the morphine to me to help with the pain.
Somehow that made her bound to go and report that into the hospital.
So the other thing was my blood pressure had skyrocketed due to shock.
(19:06):
And Anne's bedside nature was critical in getting it to come down because they
needed it to get to a manageable level before we got to the hospital.
And she did this by having me talk about my love of surfing the entire time
we were en route to the hospital.
So much so that I do remember the EMT going, wow, you have a really,
(19:31):
really great bedside manner.
And as I thought that, but didn't necessarily say it out loud.
And she did all of
this in her wetsuit because she had to
walk literally off the beach with me into the ambulance sidebar
mine actually had to be cut off but not to worry i did have stuff that i was
wearing underneath so pro tip if this ever happens to anyone else hopefully
(19:54):
it won't but you might want to wear something under your wetsuit just saying
so when we did arrive at the emergency room in Aberdeen,
the staff was pretty shocked actually to see Anne.
She was kind of the attention for the moment because all those people she worked with.
And I do remember hearing them kind of jokingly go to her.
(20:16):
Why are you here? You're supposed to be off and you're in your wetsuit. What the heck happened?
It was, I would say it was a small comical moment in a sequence of events that
was anything but comedic at that time.
And as it was for me, I was carted off for x-rays to determine if I needed immediate
(20:38):
surgery that day or if I would get to go home in a temporary cast and regroup
with doctors up in Seattle.
Turns out for me, it would be the latter and I would need to have an orthopedic
doctor look at my ankle within 10 days.
But I do remember the nurse at the time going, hey, have you ever broken a bone? And I said, no.
(21:00):
And he smiled. And I think he knew I was not quite in the mood to be hearing,
well, guess what? Today's your lucky day.
So he withheld telling me until the doctor came in to confirm that that is what had happened.
I think I secretly thought I was hoping maybe it wouldn't be or that entire
(21:23):
horrible sound that I felt and the pain that I was in was,
you know, all just gonna maybe be something not of a broken bone. But.
I knew deep down in my gut that wasn't going to be true. And Anne came in to
make sure I was okay before she got a ride back out to Westport.
And I did ask for her contact information so that I could send her a thank you.
(21:46):
And I did stay in touch with her for most of the time of my recovery.
I've sadly lost touch with her now, but I was really glad that I did that.
And it was real important to me to make sure that she knew once I was,
you know, coherent again how grateful I was to her for what she did for me.
And the same was true for Carly. So Carly and her friend had made it to the hospital to pick me up.
(22:11):
And I still remember having them come in to see me.
And I was the one that was so worried and preoccupied with if they were okay
and how they got there and was everything fine.
Again, sort of this guilt of the injured is what I have started to think of this as.
I don't know. but they were fine and they were again more worried about me and
(22:35):
we were discharged and we had to stop and pick up crutches and prescriptions
we got a taco bell for the road which was probably the best taco bell i'd ever
had in my life it was probably the only thing that went well that day,
or since the accident anyway i called my dad who was and is a retired fire captain
(22:55):
with the los Los Angeles Fire Department to give him the update and just check
in because I sort of needed some kind of, I don't know,
my dad has always been a brilliant first responder.
So I needed sort of a methodical chat, but also a reassuring chat.
And he was very much that. And both of us could not get over the fact that I
had never done this the entire time in Southern California, but did it the first
(23:21):
time out here in Washington.
So we laughed about that in sort of a, man, I wish this hadn't happened kind of way.
And I will and continue to still be indebted to Carly because not only did she get me home,
she unloaded all my gear, but she also volunteered to stay with me that night
until the next morning when my girlfriend at the time would be able to look
(23:44):
after me as she was coming back from an event that she had to cut short because
of this emergency contact.
And I also remember the sequence very clearly.
So the accident happened on a Saturday. I went to get checked out by an ortho
on Monday, and I was scheduled for surgery that Wednesday.
(24:05):
So boom, boom, boom, super quick, super succinct. And when we did go in on that
Monday to have the ortho look at it and remove the temporary cast...
I started to cry uncontrollably. I didn't know that was going to happen.
I thought this was just going to be a regular doctor's appointment.
(24:27):
I was looking forward to just being like, hey, do I need to have surgery?
Do I not need to have surgery? What's the deal?
But I was really afraid to see my ankle.
And then when I did, it was so bruised. It was so swollen. And it was just so broken.
And I'd never seen a part of my body physically looking like that.
(24:50):
And it was an instant flashback reminder to the moment when it happened,
which would ultimately lead and be the start of a very, very long road to recovery
following that surgery.
So I'd be off work, I'd be on crutches, I'd be living in an able-bodied world
(25:11):
but feeling anything but that.
I'd have to learn how to walk and work around my physical limitations.
I'd have to trust this broken part of my body that I had become really disconnected
from or desensitized to.
But I would also learn to believe in myself again and see that the brokenest
(25:34):
part of me was teaching me how to become the strongest part of me.
And with that cliffhanger, we'll pick it up with part two next week,
which will talk more about the actual recovery.
So I hope to see you back here. I also hope this does not discourage anyone
from A, wanting to be in the ocean, or B, wanting to surf.
(25:59):
It is still one of my most favorite things. I don't get to do it as much as
I wish I could, but I still am in the water on a regular basis on the paddleboard,
and it's still one of the most healing exercises ever.
Do not underestimate the healing power of the ocean or surfing.
So do not let this story discourage you.
(26:22):
And with that, as always, I ask you to be kind to yourself.
Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, and I will see you next time.
Music.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Life Notes from Chair17.
Remember to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. We'll see you.
(26:46):
Music.
This week's Life Note, part one of how one of my most important life mantras
would come from one of the scariest moments of my life.
Music.
Welcome to Life Notes from Chair 17, a podcast dedicated to sharing life stories,
(00:21):
wisdoms and inspirations as we navigate life's journey.
Host CH aims to share thoughtful perspectives and insights from her own life
journey, as well as those of special guests and contributors.
Tune in for thoughtful conversations about lessons learned, wisdoms gained,
experiences had and inspirations shared.
(00:42):
Find us where you get your podcasts and be sure to hit follow or subscribe so
you never miss an episode.
Now enjoy this week's episode.
Music.
All righty, welcome back in, friends, to another episode of Life Notes from Chair17.
(01:02):
I'm your host, C.H., and as always, I thank you once again for finding me in
this corner of the podcast universe.
As always, I'd like to start off by thanking our returning C-17ers,
which includes our growing list of international returning C-17ers.
Thank you so much for your continued support and tuning in each week.
(01:27):
But if you are tuning in for the first time, maybe you've just found us on one
of the major podcast platforms or via our website out on Life Notes from Chair17podcast.com.
A warm welcome in to you.
Thank you for wanting to check us out. We hope you like what you hear and you
(01:48):
will want to continue to tune in.
So this episode is an anniversary episode, but it is not an anniversary episode for the podcast.
And it is the first time we are doing a part one, part two kind of storytelling.
And it is to share the full story of a very significant life event that happened
(02:13):
to me 10 years ago this month.
And that was when I broke my ankle while I was surfing.
Now, the irony is that the next episode will actually post exactly 10 years
to the day from when the accident happened.
(02:34):
So June 21st of 2024.
That will be part two. and I broke my ankle on June 21st, 2014,
which is a day that I recall with ridiculous clarity and I'm going to say perfection
of detail even though I do not remember where I put my keys two minutes ago.
(03:00):
So I knew this 10-year anniversary was coming and yet I still had one of those
what what I will call WTF,
or as I like to say, what the focaccia, moments of how has it actually been 10 years.
But as I approach this anniversary, it's given me a lot of time to pause and
(03:23):
reflect, not only on that moment,
which I can say was one of the scariest of my life, but it also represents the
moment in my life when one of
my life mantras came into being because I developed it during my recovery.
And that is, the strongest part is the broken part.
(03:44):
So to begin this story, I think it's really important to call out that up until
that point in my life, I had never actually broken a bone.
And I will tap the table here. Touch wood, I would really like to never do that again.
And I do think that is probably a miracle given as a younger school athlete,
(04:08):
I tended to be pretty hard charging.
And I think my mother once said it was kind of a miracle that I made it through
those years without significant injury while I watched my best friend tear her
MCL and other folks go through some pretty traumatic injuries.
I somehow, again, touch wood, escaped. But the other strange irony in this story
(04:29):
is I also had never injured myself surfing before or in the ocean, for that matter.
Now, as longtime listeners will know, I grew up in Southern California,
so I had been around the ocean most of my life.
And at the time of this accident, I had been surfing for about 10 years.
(04:50):
And I had not once gotten injured before.
While taking up surfing, save for being stung by a stingray,
actually, which, by the way, hurts like hell.
Sidebar, if this ever happens to you, please put hot water on it immediately.
That's what calms it down. Do not ice it whatsoever.
(05:11):
Pro tip. Makes it worse, but I digress.
And in moving up to Washington, it took me about three years to even want to
try to surf up here, mostly because I wasn't really keen on the extra cold water, even in the summer.
And it was a bit of a drive out from Seattle to get to one of the main surf spots called Westport.
(05:34):
And I had been really spoiled being able to get to the beach within like 20
minutes being in Southern California.
So this felt like a trek.
I had friends that did it all the time. I just kind of thought, no.
I also lived very close to Lake Washington and
I had kind of taken up stand-up paddleboarding at the time so
I sort of had my water outlet and and
(05:57):
trekking all the way out to to the beach to surf just didn't have the same appeal
and yet the first time I actually do finally go out there and I do get in the
water and I do paddle out to surf within 45 minutes of being there I have this
serious injury happened to me.
(06:17):
So you all are probably like, okay, CH, so how did it happen, right?
I did the thing that you are never
supposed to do when you are surfing or what they teach you not to do.
And it is something I never did. And all the time I was surfing in Southern
California, even when I was first a Grom, starting out taking lessons.
(06:38):
And that is you do not, and you're not supposed to jump off your board in shallow water.
Or in the shallower water. This is a big no-no.
You are taught not to extend your legs, particularly as you get closer to shore,
because you just don't know how shallow it is underneath you.
(07:00):
And if you can imagine that the
way you're supposed to do this safely is you're kind of supposed to kneel down
or crouch down and sort of roll off the board or slow the board down and turn
it around depending on how the wave ride ends and depending on how far in you
(07:20):
take your ride towards the shore.
Sometimes if you've ever been to the beach and you've ever watched surfers,
you just see people sort of come to a halt because the wave runs out of energy.
It stops carrying you and the people just sink down into the water.
Maybe they kind of roll off and they fall over and then they get back on the board and paddle out.
(07:42):
Sometimes you'll see someone one kick off the wave, which means they decide
to end the ride before the wave runs out of energy,
and they sort of swoop back up over the wave and sort of gently fall into the
water and keep paddling out.
Whatever the case may be, however you decide to end your ride,
(08:02):
jumping off the board to plant your feet in the sand is a no-no.
Not saying everyone who does this, either accidentally or unintentionally,
breaks their ankle, but that's really like not the way you're supposed to do it.
And for some reason that day, that's exactly what I did.
And I instantly knew I had done something wrong.
(08:25):
It was like this strange sound that ran through my entire body,
like a vibration, and it ran through all of my other bones in my body.
And I'm not going to go into the gruesome detail or anything like that, but suffice it to say,
I knew I had broken something because I instantly reached down to grab my ankle
(08:49):
and I literally could move it back into alignment with the rest of my leg.
So, yeah, that was not great. And that saying of your life flashing before your
eyes when something sort of traumatic suddenly happens to you, that is really true.
In that moment, I saw my entire summer of plans sort of fall like dominoes.
(09:13):
There would be no fundraising bike ride for cancer.
There would be no hiking, no paddling, no volunteer rangering on Mount Rainier.
It just all seemed to fade to black, and it was surreal.
And as I sort of regained focus, I somehow limped my way out of the water,
and I was dragging my board with me, and this did confirm I really did do something wrong.
(09:36):
And I had had my fair share of injuries during my athlete era,
and I had limped off fields multiple times, and this was not that.
It was so difficult to walk, and I could hardly put any weight on it,
and I was just in a lot of pain.
And so when I was clear of the water, I sat down in the sand and I worked to
(09:58):
get my little wetsuit boot off because for some compelling reason,
I wanted to see my ankle as if looking at it would somehow erase what just happened.
Happened and when I struggled to get it off and I finally did get the little
boot off, the weirdest thing was it looked fine.
It looked a little swollen but not something that I thought I would see.
(10:23):
I don't know what I thought I would see.
Some sort of compound fracture or something. I don't know. It just looked kind
of swollen like, oh, maybe you really just did twist it, although I knew better.
And I will say I believe to this day the reason that it didn't look maybe Maybe
worse than it was is because I was wearing a wetsuit and wetsuit boots.
And so with that, there is compression that was already working to keep that
(10:46):
swelling in check. I don't have any official...
Confirmation of that. That's just a gut feeling that I have.
And as I kind of stared at it for a while, I was like, what has happened here?
This can't be real, right? This is not actually happening.
And I started to realize I needed to flag down those who I was with that day
(11:08):
because I'm going to need some help. I can't walk off this beach.
And I had noted and noticed we
had spread out in the water and also the
current was kind of strong that day so it was kind of pulling everyone down
the beach and such and I remember sort of frantically
starting to wave my hands in the air hoping maybe
(11:28):
if they were in the water and they looked back
they could see me that didn't work
I think that went on for about five minutes or ten minutes and
finally I started to get up and I
did actually spot one of them walking up the
beach and I got myself
toward them and I could sense that they could see in me something was really
(11:54):
wrong wrong their face was not their normal face and when I finally said to
them I think I've broken my ankle their expression turned to shock.
And to their credit, they remained totally calm, tried to help carry me up the
beach, but I was way too heavy and I was in way too much pain.
(12:15):
And I was like, no, y'all, you've got to get to the beach. Park Ranger, you've got to call 911.
You can't move me. I can't move myself. This is not going to work.
And they helped me sit back down and, you know, as you always do, I'll be fine.
Just go get help and come back. One of them left.
(12:37):
But one of them stayed with me, and that was my good friend Carly,
who from that day forward,
we were and are forever bonded for the kindness and the generousness with which
she took care of me in a very unexpected moment for her and for her friend that
(13:00):
she had invited that day.
It was the three of us, so yay me for ruining the summer surf expedition to
Westport, Washington on that particular day.
But I do remember laying down in the sand, sort of the sun on my face,
hearing the ocean waves in the background, and somehow that seemed both calming
(13:21):
but also not because it was as if it was the scene of the crime.
And I started to sense people on
the beach noticed something was wrong
because in my peripheral vision started to
see people walk up hey what's going on is she okay and I'm sure we must have
made this scene because you know Carly and her friend were trying to carry me
(13:43):
off the beach only to have to set me back down in the sand with one of with
her friend running up to get help and then and Carly kneeling down to stay with me.
And it's in that moment that a fellow surfer stopped to ask what happened to me.
And I'm not making this up, and I could not have scripted this,
(14:03):
but it turns out on that day she was off duty,
and she was actually an emergency room nurse at the hospital that we were ultimately
going to take me to, which was that in Aberdeen, Washington.
And her name was Anne. Anne, and she, along with Carly, really were my protective
angels for that day, for real.
(14:26):
And the funny part about Anne is before all of this happened,
and we were sort of getting ready to go into the water, I remember seeing her
and watching her surf because she really looked very much like my Aunt Cass.
And she had sort of this graceful way of surfing in the water.
And you can generally tell who the locals are at a given surf spot.
(14:49):
They just know the break.
They have sort of effortless glide in the water.
They don't seem like they're trying very hard. The ocean is not getting the
better of them. And she definitely had all of that going for her.
So I knew that she was a local. And in watching her, it was reminding me of
my own days of surfing my favorite surf break in Southern California, which is San Onofre.
(15:15):
And so when she came up to me as I was lying down.
In my head, I thought, oh, my gosh, I know who you are only because I saw you earlier.
And I didn't say that to her, but I will never, ever forget what she did for me that day.
And just like Carly, who did not leave my side either by holding my hand the
(15:36):
entire time I was on the beach, Anne kept reassuring me I was going to be okay.
And once the ranger and emergency services arrived, and actually began working
with them to treat me and get me prepped to be transported.
And they all knew I was in a lot of pain, but I'll tell you the worst of that
was when I had to get put into the bucket, the stretcher, to be carried off
(16:00):
the beach to the ambulance,
because it was going to be about a 20-25 minute drive back into Aberdeen.
And even the slightest movement for me on
that sand was just mind-numbing and
so when they had to roll me and then roll me into the
stretcher I remember being like guys
(16:22):
can you just stop moving me please
it is just not good
right now and I still cringe actually thinking about
that to this day and it's funny drafting out
this episode's had some flashbacks for me but I
don't know if anybody else has had traumatic injury in a
way where you are in a crowd of people or you're around a lot of people and
(16:45):
I don't know if this has happened where you feel bad you feel something like
guilty and you keep saying to everyone around you I'm so sorry I am so sorry
that this happened for me.
It's the strangest feeling and was the strangest feeling to be injured like
that and then have all these people who you have no idea who they are start coming to your aid.
(17:08):
And yet in that, you feel like you've ruined their day, which in this case was
literally the picture-perfect start of summer day. We had blue skies.
We had warm temps. I was actually getting out of the water to take off my wetsuit
hat, and I think I was going to remove my gloves. I wasn't sure.
(17:32):
And yet now, here I was lying on the beach with a broken ankle,
and it felt as if I was stealing that day away from not only the friends I was
with, but kind strangers who had stopped to ask if they could help.
And that included a passerby who
decided he wanted to hold a towel so that
it could shade my face and I wouldn't have to stare directly
(17:55):
into the sun and so there's incredible outpouring of
kindness and yet somehow as the injured person you just feel like this burden
even though in actual fact all the people around you are way more worried about
you in that moment than what's going on for them or whether the sky is blue or the sun is out.
(18:16):
And so I'll never forget feeling that contrast of this generous kindness of
people and yet feeling so bad that they had to do this for me.
I was carried off the beach as gently as they could to the ambulance and they
did ask Anne actually to ride with me to the hospital.
I learned later though she was legally bound to do that because she was the
(18:40):
senior medical person on scene.
So she outranked the rest of the emergency medical technicians or EMTs as we call them.
And she also had administered the morphine to me to help with the pain.
Somehow that made her bound to go and report that into the hospital.
So the other thing was my blood pressure had skyrocketed due to shock.
(19:06):
And Anne's bedside nature was critical in getting it to come down because they
needed it to get to a manageable level before we got to the hospital.
And she did this by having me talk about my love of surfing the entire time
we were en route to the hospital.
So much so that I do remember the EMT going, wow, you have a really,
(19:31):
really great bedside manner.
And as I thought that, but didn't necessarily say it out loud.
And she did all of
this in her wetsuit because she had to
walk literally off the beach with me into the ambulance sidebar
mine actually had to be cut off but not to worry i did have stuff that i was
wearing underneath so pro tip if this ever happens to anyone else hopefully
(19:54):
it won't but you might want to wear something under your wetsuit just saying
so when we did arrive at the emergency room in Aberdeen,
the staff was pretty shocked actually to see Anne.
She was kind of the attention for the moment because all those people she worked with.
And I do remember hearing them kind of jokingly go to her.
(20:16):
Why are you here? You're supposed to be off and you're in your wetsuit. What the heck happened?
It was, I would say it was a small comical moment in a sequence of events that
was anything but comedic at that time.
And as it was for me, I was carted off for x-rays to determine if I needed immediate
(20:38):
surgery that day or if I would get to go home in a temporary cast and regroup
with doctors up in Seattle.
Turns out for me, it would be the latter and I would need to have an orthopedic
doctor look at my ankle within 10 days.
But I do remember the nurse at the time going, hey, have you ever broken a bone? And I said, no.
(21:00):
And he smiled. And I think he knew I was not quite in the mood to be hearing,
well, guess what? Today's your lucky day.
So he withheld telling me until the doctor came in to confirm that that is what had happened.
I think I secretly thought I was hoping maybe it wouldn't be or that entire
(21:23):
horrible sound that I felt and the pain that I was in was,
you know, all just gonna maybe be something not of a broken bone. But.
I knew deep down in my gut that wasn't going to be true. And Anne came in to
make sure I was okay before she got a ride back out to Westport.
And I did ask for her contact information so that I could send her a thank you.
(21:46):
And I did stay in touch with her for most of the time of my recovery.
I've sadly lost touch with her now, but I was really glad that I did that.
And it was real important to me to make sure that she knew once I was,
you know, coherent again how grateful I was to her for what she did for me.
And the same was true for Carly. So Carly and her friend had made it to the hospital to pick me up.
(22:11):
And I still remember having them come in to see me.
And I was the one that was so worried and preoccupied with if they were okay
and how they got there and was everything fine.
Again, sort of this guilt of the injured is what I have started to think of this as.
I don't know. but they were fine and they were again more worried about me and
(22:35):
we were discharged and we had to stop and pick up crutches and prescriptions
we got a taco bell for the road which was probably the best taco bell i'd ever
had in my life it was probably the only thing that went well that day,
or since the accident anyway i called my dad who was and is a retired fire captain
(22:55):
with the los Los Angeles Fire Department to give him the update and just check
in because I sort of needed some kind of, I don't know,
my dad has always been a brilliant first responder.
So I needed sort of a methodical chat, but also a reassuring chat.
And he was very much that. And both of us could not get over the fact that I
had never done this the entire time in Southern California, but did it the first
(23:21):
time out here in Washington.
So we laughed about that in sort of a, man, I wish this hadn't happened kind of way.
And I will and continue to still be indebted to Carly because not only did she get me home,
she unloaded all my gear, but she also volunteered to stay with me that night
until the next morning when my girlfriend at the time would be able to look
(23:44):
after me as she was coming back from an event that she had to cut short because
of this emergency contact.
And I also remember the sequence very clearly.
So the accident happened on a Saturday. I went to get checked out by an ortho
on Monday, and I was scheduled for surgery that Wednesday.
(24:05):
So boom, boom, boom, super quick, super succinct. And when we did go in on that
Monday to have the ortho look at it and remove the temporary cast...
I started to cry uncontrollably. I didn't know that was going to happen.
I thought this was just going to be a regular doctor's appointment.
(24:27):
I was looking forward to just being like, hey, do I need to have surgery?
Do I not need to have surgery? What's the deal?
But I was really afraid to see my ankle.
And then when I did, it was so bruised. It was so swollen. And it was just so broken.
And I'd never seen a part of my body physically looking like that.
(24:50):
And it was an instant flashback reminder to the moment when it happened,
which would ultimately lead and be the start of a very, very long road to recovery
following that surgery.
So I'd be off work, I'd be on crutches, I'd be living in an able-bodied world
(25:11):
but feeling anything but that.
I'd have to learn how to walk and work around my physical limitations.
I'd have to trust this broken part of my body that I had become really disconnected
from or desensitized to.
But I would also learn to believe in myself again and see that the brokenest
(25:34):
part of me was teaching me how to become the strongest part of me.
And with that cliffhanger, we'll pick it up with part two next week,
which will talk more about the actual recovery.
So I hope to see you back here. I also hope this does not discourage anyone
from A, wanting to be in the ocean, or B, wanting to surf.
(25:59):
It is still one of my most favorite things. I don't get to do it as much as
I wish I could, but I still am in the water on a regular basis on the paddleboard,
and it's still one of the most healing exercises ever.
Do not underestimate the healing power of the ocean or surfing.
So do not let this story discourage you.
(26:22):
And with that, as always, I ask you to be kind to yourself.
Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, and I will see you next time.
Music.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Life Notes from Chair17.
Remember to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. We'll see you.
(26:46):
Music.
Popular Podcasts
1. Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
2. Start Here
A straightforward look at the day's top news in 20 minutes. Powered by ABC News. Hosted by Brad Mielke.
3. Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.