Episode 123: Are you Guilty? Or Did You Just Make A Decision? One Final Word on Guilt (until 2025).)

Hello, hi! I can’t seem to stop talking about guilt - but  I PROMISE this is the last I’ll say about it (at least until 2025) . The thing that continues to remain problematic and troubling for so many women, the thing that gets in our way is that we’re always feeling bad. If we’re not feeling bad we’re avoiding the things that make us feel bad or managing the feeling to get rid of it. What if there was another way? Today’s episode is for anyone who ever wondered “what would I be like if I could get rid of the guilt, for good?”

Episode Summary

• Check in: I share that I’m finally feeling my mental health improve
• It takes considerable effort when you feel terrible; nothing feels like medium effort and this recovery has felt that way
• I’m lucky to have a lot of support already available to me when I need it and I’m so thankful for my friends and family who have connected with me and supported me.

Medium Effort

• At the beginning of Season 4 I was really helping people get out of their own way, and examining how willing we are (or aren’t) to take that step and celebrate our desires and visions for our lives. But what listeners kept pointing me to was that their guilt was a tremendous obstacle on that path. If they were ever going to get out of their own way, they were going to have to get rid of the guilt.
• 31% of people polled on my instagram stories said that theri personal expectations drive a lot of their burnout , they struggle knowing what to let go of and they often feel unsure of what’s normal, and what’s social media.
• At the end of the summer in an open call for responses, the IG community again shared DOZENS of unique reasons they feel bad.
• But it wasn’t until episode 113 and 114 with Tami Hackbarth where I realized that people needed a practical way to examine their guilt and move past it with certainty and grace.
• Today’s episode features two hallmark reasons why you should spend medium effort to get over your guilt - and both of them were featured in a book I’m currently reading: Likeable Badass by Dr. Alison Fragle.- specifically page 77, and 78 of the book

1. Embrace the power of your decisions: our decisions can be powerful but we use guilt to minimize how much we want to use that power, instead letting our guilt make our decisions feel like a burden or like a way to keep staying small. Imagine if you chose to feel powerful instead of guilty about your decisions. Women see each decision as a chance to fail but what if we saw them as a chance to embrace our power. 
2. Guilt drives apologies: Women apologize more than men becuse women have a lower threshold for what constitutes an apology worthy event. This low threshold for apology also comes with a caveat - you’re not just feeling like you owe more apologies but you also feel like you’re wronged and owed and apology more often. As women we need to raise the bar (ALOT) on what constitutes a transgression or wrongdoing because it’s not just getting in our way, it’s also getting in the way of our relationships and perceptions of others.

• In the episode I walk you through a practical exercise I call “catch and release” so you can notice your guilt, examine it for a transgression and then either release it with an apology or move on/show up with a decision.

Mindful Fun:

• Make a list of small decisions you’re excited to make and look forward to embracing the power that comes with choosing your cl