How to Handle the Selfish Label - 3 Fast Fixes (and Glitter Gate?)

Ever been called selfish for protecting your peace? In this quick episode, I’ll share 3 powerful tools to reset your mind, body, and spirit—so you can release the guilt and step into your healing with confidence.

Links & Resources:

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---------- TRANSCRIPTS Speaker 1 (00:03):

Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello, gorgeous queen. Has anyone told you how amazing you look today? I hope they did, but if they did not, I'm here to tell you, you look super fly. Like the super fly is to fly. Super, super fly. Alright, so welcome back to Thrive in five. It is Thursday. So it is that lovely thrive in five day on Tuesday. If you listen to that episode, we dug deep into the word people love to throw around selfish. So today I'm going to give you a quick reset to carry with you anytime. Whenever that guilt spiral tries to creep on in. So look, if someone calls you selfish for walking away from a toxic situation, what they're really saying is you're no longer abandoning yourself for my benefit.

(01:12) Or if they're talking about someone you mutually, mutually, like the person you left and you're both friends with them or family, they could also be sticking up for them and saying that you're no longer abandoning yourself for this person's benefit. So that is not selfish, that is self-honoring. I'm going to repeat that again. I'm going to make a post about this line right here. It's not selfish, it is self-honoring. Alright? So every time you choose your piece, repeat this to yourself, okay? And put your chin up, shine your crown and say, I'm not being selfish, I am being healthy. We talked about this in Tuesday's episode as well, but we need to repeat it. Alright? So when the guilt hits, let's say it's still coming in, your nervous system feels it. You get that kind of anxious feeling, you're tight chested your shoulders may be a little tense. Try this quick somatic reset. All right? You can put your hand on your heart, inhale through the nose for two counts, and then exhale for four. And you do that a few times and then whisper, I'm safe, I'm healing, I'm free. And that longer exhale tells your body we okay? Now.

(02:48) So remember, your boundaries aren't about controlling them. You're not being selfish. It's not about them and what you're taking from them or doing for yourself instead of them, it's just about protecting you, which is different from very self-serving actions like the greedy selfishness. That's not what you're doing here. You're literally protecting yourself. That loud pushback you get when you stop abandoning yourself. That's noise. That's the BS we talked about Tuesday. Let it bounce off your golden sparkly wall of protection. Okay? So I want you guys to, seriously, when you think about your boundaries, I want you to picture them as a beautiful golden glitter wall around you. How can you feel guilty about that? That's just glorious. Okay? So you are protecting your queen age with every right to do so. Okay? So this week, anytime someone throws that selfish label your way, or maybe you're just replaying what they have said in the past, we're known to do that, aren't we?

(04:03) Right? Just smile. If they say it to you silently, thank them in your mind, okay? Yeah, you're right. I'm putting up this glitter, glittery, glitter. That's not a word. Glittery gold wall around me. And it's proof that you're not playing small anymore, that you're not going to be held under the thumb of a narcissist controlled by a narcissist walking on their eggshells. No, no, you are not selfish. You are brave enough to stop being their puppet, okay? You're not a puppet, you're a queen. Do I have to reiterate that with the gold wall? The gold crown, all the gold. Okay? So hopefully this helps. If not, there's plenty more somatic tools you can go through on my podcast every Thursday.