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October 12, 2025 16 mins

I am just crawling back out of one of my darkest times.   We are nearing the 3rd anniversary of Sam's death and my heart felt unbearably heavy and sad.   It felt like it was almost time to give up and succumb to a loss I cannot change.   To lie in bed and ruminate my days away again.   But, then I realized that while I can't bring Sam back, it will always be up to me to find my way back into the light.    I think this is true in all areas of life.  Ultimately, we have to learn to depend on ourselves.    

It's easy to get stuck in the rut of pain because we are creatures of habit and tend to fall back into the same grooves every day.    If we take in the same ideas and allow ourselves to become stale in our daily activities, we stay stuck.   Our brain cannot override what our body and mind are succumbing to.   

To effect change and move forward, we have to be willing to change our forcus and behavior, even in the smallest ways.    It starts with the content we allow into our lives and how we choose to spend our time.    Same in, same out.   If we want different outcomes, we need to plant new seeds.❤️

In today's episode, I discuss my decision to feel better after falling back into a dark and oppressive state of mind and the steps I took to do so.

 

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