April 8, 2025 • 28 mins
"Our kids weren't born as a blank slate. God created each one of them with gifts and learning styles and personality and a bent. And if we fold them the way they're bent, it's a great way to breathe life into your homeschool and also minimize conflict." ~ Zan Tyler
Join Kristi Clover and her guest, Zan Tyler, on this enlightening episode ofthe Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast as they dive into the art of identifying andcultivating the strengths of your children within a homeschool environment.With real-life stories and experiences, they uncover the importance of being akeen observer of your children's interests and the power of molding educationto suit their unique abilities. Discover how to create a life-giving homeschoolexperience that nurtures potential and fosters growth, all while maintaining abalanced and fulfilling homeschool journey. Perfect for homeschooling parentsseeking inspiration and practical advice!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Our kids weren't born as a blankslate.
God created each one of them with gifts and learning styles
and personality and bent. And if we fold them the way
they're bent, it's a great way to breathe life into your home,
school and also minimize conflict.
Hey everyone, welcome back to Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
(00:21):
I am your host for this week, Christy Clover, and I have the
wonderful pleasure of having my friend Zan Tyler on the show
again this week. And we're going to be covering
some new topics this week and I can't wait to dig into that.
But first, I want to introduce you to the sponsor of this
week's podcast, Apologia. If you're looking for a trusted
(00:41):
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(01:02):
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(01:23):
Explore the full lineup of theirresources today at apologia.com
and discover how they can help your family thrive.
Today. I have Zan Tyler back on the
show with me. So Zan, hello, how are you
doing? Oh, Christy, I'm doing great.
I'm just so excited to be here with you on this podcast.
How cool is that? I know it's so fun and when they
(01:46):
asked if I do this I was like yes please.
And I'm. Excited because I have been
learning from you for so many years.
You know, first is just like your little groupie and then I
remember, I do, I remember so clearly meeting you at that.
It was a Christian bloggers conference and I remember you
and Joe were there and I remember meeting you and just
(02:08):
thinking like, I went back to myroom and I was like, Oh my gosh,
he talked to Sam Tyler. I was so excited and then you
remembered me the next day and Iwas like Sam Tyler knew my name.
I was just so excited. So it is just, it's so fun to
get to do this with you now, butI have been learning so much
through all the years. So thank you.
(02:28):
Never one Well, thank you Christy.
So we could go on forever, but Ilearned so much from you and
which is really the great joy offriendships and the great joy of
homeschooling moms because she just, you know, if you can learn
from each other, it just makes your life easier.
(02:48):
Yeah. And well, and I think that's one
of the important things too, is that you have strengths I do not
possess. And then I have strengths that
you say you don't possess, I'm not going to put on.
What? You do like your packing list?
Yes, thank you so much. It's the list you sent me that
changed my life. I've only been traveling for 30
years and Christy sent me her packing list.
(03:09):
Maybe she'll put it up on her website for you too.
I do have it available online within my membership.
But yes, it was so cute because you were talking.
You're like, I don't know why I'm so stressed about packing
into my head. I'm like, she travels all the
time. I'm just going to send you my
list. You can just look at it, ignore
it and tell you now we know eachother on a deeper level because
she's like, what is this? And I'm like, well, so all of
(03:35):
the things. So I love it.
I love it. Well, today we are going to be
diving into how to identify and kind of cultivate the strengths
in our kids. And this is, I mean, I remember
getting, I think I think it was at that conference when you
handed me your book about, you know, the seven tools of how to
(03:55):
cultivate. Your channel potential there.
See, you're saving it, but I'm not saying it well, I have it
sitting like right. Over there it's cumbersome.
It's too cumbersome for a title,but there it is.
There it is, and all of its glorious work.
But no, I love it because I think it's almost a lost art.
It's a forgotten art. Kind of.
(04:16):
Creating a vision for not just your, your home school, but for
your children as well. Because I like to say that we
need to become students of our children first to learn their
economy, to kind of see like, you know, what motivates them,
you know, because it's differentfor each child and, but also
just to really kind of tune intolike what makes them tick.
(04:38):
So I know you have so many greatstories on this topic.
And I also know that one of the big ones for you is this
epiphany in this conversation that you had with someone just
about, you know, working with your child's bed.
Can you share that? For us, well, you know, it's
interesting, one of the things we did in the mid 90s was to
start a Co-op and it was associated with the Masters
(04:59):
Academy of Fine Arts. And so as part of this Co-op, I
taught a course on public speaking.
And one of the years I had this class with like 10 to 15 boys,
well, about 15 boys, ages 10 to 15.
And both of my boys had gone to college.
And I love this class. So somebody had given me all
(05:19):
these out of date National Geographic maps and they were
huge. They were like 4 feet by 6 feet.
And I decided to use them as a speaking prompt.
You know, tell me about the people group.
Tell me what you've learned. You know, you've got 3 minutes.
So at the end of the class I hadlike 35 or 40 maps to fold up.
I have no spatial relationship skills and and I'm folding up
(05:40):
these maps. They're coming out like 2 inches
thick. Finally this little 13 year old
Shane looks at me and says, MissTyler, give me those maps.
I can fold them up. So in about two minutes he folds
them all up. They're thin and sleek.
I said, Shane, honey, how did you do that?
And he rolled his eyes so sweetly and he said, Miss Tyler,
you got to fold them the way they're bent.
And I think that is so key to understand that our kids weren't
(06:03):
born as a blank slate. God created each one of them
with gifts and learning styles and personality and bent a bent
the way. And if we fold them the way
they're bent, it's a great way to breathe life into your home
school and also minimize conflict.
Because if you're insisting thatthis child be something that God
(06:25):
didn't create him to be or do, well, if you want a
mathematician and this kids great at oratory or, you know,
public relations skills or whatever, you know, it's going
to be an uphill battle. So I think when we discover, it
was like when I discovered Taz learning style that day as being
auditory kinesthetic, it's freedom.
(06:47):
And so it's just like you say, the biggest thing we can do is
become a student of each child because no two of our kids are
alike. And, and that to me is the
glorious freedom and flexibilityof homeschooling is that we can,
you know, we, we still may teachthem all the same subjects, but
it's from a different vantage point.
(07:08):
And they will assimilate it in the way God made them to take
that knowledge and use it. Oh, yeah.
And I think, I think this is oneof the big secrets of
homeschooling. And it's not.
It shouldn't be a secret. Right, right.
It is why, I mean, like I have 101 reasons why we homeschool,
but this is a big one. And it's interesting to see
because I mean, I homeschooled my boys, well, all of my kids,
(07:31):
but I homeschooled MY2 oldest boys pretty much from
kindergarten, first grade all the way through graduation.
And so now I get to see, you know, what all this work looks
like now and their adulthood. And it is so cool, like I
stopped like at some point I stopped pushing because I was
like, you know what, yes, we need to do some math, but if
(07:53):
math's not your bend, then let'slet's find something that works
and we can fulfill that math. But you want it like my oldest
go read, go write. He loved it.
And I was like, I don't have to push this.
So I actually, I was crazy and wild.
I stopped giving him a curriculum his last two years of
high school because he was doingit.
(08:16):
He wrote two novels by the time he was 17 and he was reading, he
had a book list like was longer than the one I would have given
him. So I.
Was just like. Don't do your English thing.
And and now he's using it as an adult.
And so it's just, it's beautifulwhen you kind of like let go and
you see where they're going. But how can we help the parent
(08:38):
that's struggling to kind of seewhat those strengths are and
see, you know, how they can be cultivating that?
You know, I would just start watching your child when they're
the happiest, you know, and do they like to talk to you all the
time? They're probably an auditory
learner. My middle son would say, if you
give me those books and leave mealone, I can learn something.
(09:01):
Yeah. I mean, you know, he was a
visual learner and that's all heneeded was a little bit of quiet
and but he's also a people person, so he likes the
interaction. So I think we just watch our
children. Ty was really.
Both of the boys were very active in sports and they were
coordinated. Joe was a college athlete.
(09:21):
They loved sports. They did, I think every sports,
you know, just known to man. But it was part of kind of what
we did as a family. We had friends around it,
ministry around it and you know,and then we were very involved
politically just because of my situation.
And so, you know, so they both grew up.
(09:42):
They lived at the Statehouse with me.
It was like a home away from home.
And, you know, lo and behold, and, and, and, and John, really,
they both really enjoyed it. I don't know how to explain
that. But so they've, they've used
that training in, in different ways.
Lizzie loved the Fine Arts. And so by the time she got in
(10:04):
high school, we were spending, you know, she was spending 30 or
40 hours a week on the Fine Arts.
We did not want her to go to ourgovernor's school for the arts.
That's just wasn't our goal in home schooling.
And a lot of friends were going there.
And I'm, I feel sure, sure she would have been accepted.
We never applied. So, you know, I can say that
almost for certain. But she, she taught, she took
(10:28):
dance and taught dance. She was in the Greater Columbia
Children's Choir. She was very involved in
community theater with lead roles.
And so, so much of her educationreally revolved around that.
I mean, that was a lot of hours a week.
And she did an internship with aradio station when she was in
high school. And that really wedded her
(10:49):
interest in. She grew up with cameras in our
living room. She understood the importance of
the media in framing an issue, which is what she grew up to do.
And so I I just think you just watch your kids.
What makes them tick? What do they love?
Are they an introvert? Do they get their energy from
being alone? Or are they an extrovert?
(11:10):
Do they get their energy from being with people?
And we can't let our children live as hermits, but we can find
ways to let them have the quiet and solitude they need and then
find ways for them to function with people, you know, in a
collaborative sense, even if it's just playing outside.
So I just think, watch your kids.
(11:32):
What do they, what do they ask you?
What do they want to do? You know, what are they asking
about being involved in? Or you know what, what do they
want to read about? I would ask the question, what
do you, what's one thing you would like to study or learn?
And you just learn a lot from questions like that.
(11:54):
Oh, so true, So true. And it goes back to we're going
to make a list, Sam, we're going.
To make a list, yes, lists are good.
You know, I did have so many lists of all the things.
So let me just tell you, don't do what I did all the things my
kids did. My kids did so, so many great
things that they loved and read books and I had lists, but I
(12:17):
didn't always have my list together.
Yes. Your list together you know and
I. Can help with that.
Yes, so you'll you'll need that one day and when they're getting
ready to go to the military college career, start their own
business. You want all of their, you know,
the things you've done that are meaningful in writing somewhere
(12:40):
and I'm in. The other thing I would say is
serve together as a family. You know, I talked about not
being the most consistent person, but the one thing we
consistently did was have I hatethe word service project because
it makes people sound like projects.
I don't mean it that way, but you know, we, we spent a lot of
time working and being with the widows in our church and then we
(13:02):
spent six or eight years workingin an inner city ministry where
we all tutored together. The kids tutored each of the
boys. I've had a person that a young
man they tutored or a little boythey tutored.
And then Lizzie and I tutored a little girl together for six or
eight years. And it's just, you know, those
are some of our greatest memories as a family is doing
(13:24):
things like that together. So, you know, and, and sometimes
they'll serve the way you serve.What are you doing?
Take them with you. And other times they'll have
their own ideas about things they would like to do.
But I, I, I think that's, I think that's one of the most
life giving, life changing aspects of home schooling.
(13:47):
I love it and I want to hear more, but we're going to take a
quick break to hear from our sponsors.
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That's ctcmath.com. Well, welcome back everyone.
And we are still here talking toZan Tyler all about how to
(15:12):
discover. That was the first part of this
this episode, how to discover the strengths and interests of
our kids. And so now we're going to talk a
little bit more about how to cultivate those things.
Now, Zan, you already was talking about service projects
and things like that, but what when we start kind of
discovering these bins and our kids, how can we try to bring in
(15:34):
some like lifelong application? So what are some things we can
do that can help kind of cultivate, like how they can
apply this in adulthood? I'll just give a couple of
examples from our lives. You know, first of all, I think
sometimes I love this educator and, and I just have to say I
love my work with BJU Press Homeschool and I used their
(15:55):
curriculum a lot. We integrated it.
We did a lot of creative things with it.
We did a bunch of ages together with it, you know, so we, we did
a lot of things like that. But there's an, a Christian
educator named Ray Vanderlaan and he said the books we choose
are our curriculum and the interruptions God brings are his
(16:16):
curriculum. And so we spent a lot of time at
the legislature and I would comehome and just weep over the
school work we didn't get done. I mean, this was a big deal for
me. We were losing a lot of days
over a lot of years. And then it's interesting
because both of the boys, Lizzie, Lizzie got more involved
(16:38):
in the journalistic part of that.
How did that play out? And she that really did shape
what she wanted to do, you know,when she finished college as a
career and and but the boys werespent their time in the
legislature. And so Ty learned sales skills
(16:59):
like we're in the legislature one day, he's maybe 12.
And we're walking up the stairs and 1 senator, he says, hey,
Senator Smith. And he says, hey, Ty.
And I say, Ty, how do you know him?
And he says, well, mom, we live here.
I know people. You know, it was such a mess.
(17:20):
I said, I need his vote. And he won't.
I can't get him to vote for us. So Ty takes off and he goes down
the stairs and he grabs this man's hand and he brings him
upstairs and he says, we're going up to the lobby, you know
the lobby. And he says, Senator Smith, this
is not his real name. He said, I want you to meet my
mom. My mom is so sweet.
(17:40):
You really need to vote for her bill.
Mom, tell him about your bill. Well, then we struck up, you
know, a friendship. He voted with us.
And but that was Ty. He was the people person, always
connecting people. And he's still sales to this
day. And he connects people.
(18:00):
John became very close to Mike Ferris, who is president and
founder of HSLDA. And he, he spent a lot of time
watching court cases unfold in the legislature with me.
And he started and both of the boys worked as AIDS or whatever
they called him in the South Carolina State House and
(18:21):
participated in the Senate page program just for six weeks.
This was some people go for a year, they just each one for six
weeks. But so John had always wanted to
be a doctor or an oral surgeon Ithink more specifically.
But the more work he did in the Senate, one of the senators that
was the sponsor for all our homeschool legislation said John, I
(18:43):
really think you need to go to law school.
And he did. And so all of these experiences
John gained in law two years agowhen we elected our new state
Superintendent of education. She appointed him as chief legal
counsel for the state Departmentof Education in South Carolina.
Oh my goodness, that's so. Cool.
(19:03):
So now here he is. He was.
He was homeschooled, never in a public school classroom.
He homeschools his four kids. And and yet this is the place
where the Lord took all that experience that I viewed as an
interruption at the time and gave him great guidance through
that. You know, and so it's
(19:24):
interesting how as we you know, that first it says make
disciples of all the nations. The pastor friend of mine shared
is as you are going make disciples, as we are living our
lives and doing the things God has called us to as parents and
families, then I think we're decycling and our our kids and
it looks different for each one of them.
(19:46):
They each have different spiritual gifts.
They each have different callings on their lives.
Some are STEM kids, you know, some are free spirits and
entrepreneurs. All are.
You know, it's just with home schooling is glorious because I
mean, I really believe God is the ultimate Superintendent of
education and he superintends and he wants to do.
(20:09):
Glorious things for our children.
He wants to open doors for them,He wants to see them productive
for his Kingdom. And so we just work with him and
somehow it's, it's just an amazing way I, I just love the
time I had with my kids watchingtheir lives unfold, watching
their interests on and being able to shepherd that and curate
(20:30):
that just a little bit, you know?
I love it. I love it.
That's so encouraging because I think we forget as parents
sometimes because they're like homeschool, get things done
like, you know, take care of thehouse, make dinner, you know,
all of the to do's we do. As parents.
And we forget that we have this glorious ministry right in front
of us and homeschooling is the probably the best discipleship
(20:53):
tool we can use for our kids. And it's just, it's beautiful to
see how God does curate that, how God does bring all those
things together. And you know, I like to say that
he doesn't waste a thing like I.Absolutely yes.
Yeah, the, the older I get, the older I get.
(21:14):
You know, I, I just see how he does that.
He weaves everything together. Things that I'm like, well, you
know, just little insignificant things.
I'll laugh because I'll be askedto help with something.
I'm like, who knew that this skill that I learned all those
years ago? The.
Parody for this moment. Yes, yes, Ben Carson says.
God never waste any knowledge that he gives you.
(21:34):
And it's so true. It's so true.
And you know, I think one of thethings I love about
homeschooling too, is we can really focus on our kids
spiritual gifts. It's really exciting to see our
kids grow spiritually, too, and to be able to, you know, have a
little hand in shepherding thosegifts and pointing them in the
right direction when it comes toministry and service.
(21:57):
Yes, absolutely. Well, I could feel like I could
talk to you forever. I think we only have a few more
minutes left in the show, but can you just give like a couple
quick just tips on how, cuz I, Ican see people listening to this
and going wonderful. Well, I shall add this and this
and this to our schedule. And I mean, I did an episode
(22:18):
with Yvette all about like burnout, things like that.
And so can we just a couple quick tips on how parents can
slow it down a little and make sure they don't overwhelm.
I think we all need to find our own rhythm.
You know, everybody's got a different life rhythm and
spiritual rhythm and how we gainenergy and how we burn out.
(22:43):
And I think we need to know ourselves and homeschooling.
So I did a whole book on homeschool burnout.
And I always say if you've homeschooled for more than three
hours, you've experienced burnout.
It's, it's hard because you're giving of yourself all the time.
We need to make sure that we're supplying ourselves, you know,
from the one who gives us strength and loves us and gives
(23:06):
us energy. And so, you know, you had, I
think it's a lot of give and take and you try one thing, it
doesn't work, you try another thing.
Sometimes you pull back for six months and say we're home, no
co-ops, no this, no that. And then other times you go full
strength, you know, just full speed ahead.
(23:28):
And we, most of us gained our energy from people and from
being out. And so that sort of set the tone
for who we were as a family, butthat's who we were as a family.
And, you know, so you've got to find out who you are as a family
and how you know, that's what discipleship is.
(23:50):
Jesus could have had any curriculum in the world to
disciple people with. I mean, he was the same
yesterday, today and forever. He knew every Sunday school
curriculum that's ever been written.
But what did he choose? He chose to invest his life in
the disciples. They spent three years together,
you know, ministering together, cooking together, traveling
(24:10):
together, fussing together, You know it.
And, and I think he invested hislife in theirs.
And so I think as we truly invest our lives and our
children, we'll know when to go forward, when to take a step
back. That's the glory of
homeschooling. We're a speedboat.
We're not a yacht. You need to make a 180° turn,
(24:33):
you can do it. You need to change books, you
can do it. You need to change your pace,
you can do it. Don't be afraid.
I mean, that's the greatest advantage of homeschooling to
me, you know, is that flexibility we have in
determining our schedules and our lifestyles.
I love it. Well, thank you, Zan so much for
(24:53):
coming on the show. And in case people missed it
from the first episode that we did together a week ago, can you
share about where people can find you and what resources you
have? You can find me at Zan
tyler.com, my website, and my podcast Is Zan Tyler Thriving in
Your Homeschool? On the website you can find a
free download when homeschoolinggets hard, and that is free for
(25:16):
you. We're working on a couple of
other things now that unfortunately aren't available
at this point, but keep checkingback with us and I and and and
also on social media. Perfect.
Oh well, thank you Zan for coming on.
Well, thank you so much, Christy, and thank you to
Schoolhouse Rock and Yvette and Garrett and all they've done for
so, so many of us. So wonderful.
(25:39):
And Speaking of Schoolhouse rocked resources, if you guys
want to head over to schoolhouserocked.com, you can
stream the movie. You can listen to, you know,
former episodes and find different tools and resources
there on the website. But make sure that if you are
listening to this podcast episode that you subscribe on
(26:00):
whatever device that you or whatever platform that you're
listening to on. If you are watching us and like
all the hand movements, but if you're watching us on YouTube,
then make sure that you subscribe there as well.
And as you probably guess, I'm not the normal host here and I'm
not the only host of SchoolhouseRock, but my name is Christy
(26:21):
Clover and you can find my resources over at
christyclover.com. In fact, I have a special coupon
code just for our Schoolhouse Rock families and that is rocked
20. So if you go to
christyclover.com 4 slash sanity, you can get a free
download of my sanity savers forMom's book.
But you can also from my websitefind all of the different online
(26:44):
courses, which is really my passion is to create resources
for families just like you to make your school life, your home
life a little bit simpler and more sane.
And so if you use rocked 20, that will get you 20% off of any
of my courses. So hopefully you will find that
helpful. Well, that's it from me today.
Thank you so much for listening and make sure you stay tuned for
(27:07):
a little sneak peek at what's coming up next on Schoolhouse
Rock podcast and have a wonderful rest of your week.
Bye everybody. You're listening to the Biblical
Family Network. Hey, I'm Miki and I'm Will and
we're the Co host of the CultureProof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
(27:29):
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe Word of God, so that's where
we want to. Look Amen when we resist those
cultural trends that rival the truth.
We remain culture proof. Way too much discretion and
(27:51):
authority is given to CPS and they end up, you know, getting
involved in people's lives that they really shouldn't.
Across the country, studies showthe 37% of children will be part
of CPS investigation by the timethey turn 18.
You, you think, well, I live in Texas or you live in Oklahoma or
other folks live in these red states, conservative States and
(28:13):
like, well, I don't have to worry about that here, you know,
or people are like, oh, well, Trump is now the president, so
we don't have to worry about that.
And, and what's interesting is that the states that are
actually the most aggressive on CPS issues are oftentimes the
most conservative states.
Our kids weren't born as a blankslate.
God created each one of them with gifts and learning styles
and personality and bent. And if we fold them the way
they're bent, it's a great way to breathe life into your home,
school and also minimize conflict.
Hey everyone, welcome back to Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
(00:21):
I am your host for this week, Christy Clover, and I have the
wonderful pleasure of having my friend Zan Tyler on the show
again this week. And we're going to be covering
some new topics this week and I can't wait to dig into that.
But first, I want to introduce you to the sponsor of this
week's podcast, Apologia. If you're looking for a trusted
(00:41):
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Explore the full lineup of theirresources today at apologia.com
and discover how they can help your family thrive.
Today. I have Zan Tyler back on the
show with me. So Zan, hello, how are you
doing? Oh, Christy, I'm doing great.
I'm just so excited to be here with you on this podcast.
How cool is that? I know it's so fun and when they
(01:46):
asked if I do this I was like yes please.
And I'm. Excited because I have been
learning from you for so many years.
You know, first is just like your little groupie and then I
remember, I do, I remember so clearly meeting you at that.
It was a Christian bloggers conference and I remember you
and Joe were there and I remember meeting you and just
(02:08):
thinking like, I went back to myroom and I was like, Oh my gosh,
he talked to Sam Tyler. I was so excited and then you
remembered me the next day and Iwas like Sam Tyler knew my name.
I was just so excited. So it is just, it's so fun to
get to do this with you now, butI have been learning so much
through all the years. So thank you.
(02:28):
Never one Well, thank you Christy.
So we could go on forever, but Ilearned so much from you and
which is really the great joy offriendships and the great joy of
homeschooling moms because she just, you know, if you can learn
from each other, it just makes your life easier.
(02:48):
Yeah. And well, and I think that's one
of the important things too, is that you have strengths I do not
possess. And then I have strengths that
you say you don't possess, I'm not going to put on.
What? You do like your packing list?
Yes, thank you so much. It's the list you sent me that
changed my life. I've only been traveling for 30
years and Christy sent me her packing list.
(03:09):
Maybe she'll put it up on her website for you too.
I do have it available online within my membership.
But yes, it was so cute because you were talking.
You're like, I don't know why I'm so stressed about packing
into my head. I'm like, she travels all the
time. I'm just going to send you my
list. You can just look at it, ignore
it and tell you now we know eachother on a deeper level because
she's like, what is this? And I'm like, well, so all of
(03:35):
the things. So I love it.
I love it. Well, today we are going to be
diving into how to identify and kind of cultivate the strengths
in our kids. And this is, I mean, I remember
getting, I think I think it was at that conference when you
handed me your book about, you know, the seven tools of how to
(03:55):
cultivate. Your channel potential there.
See, you're saving it, but I'm not saying it well, I have it
sitting like right. Over there it's cumbersome.
It's too cumbersome for a title,but there it is.
There it is, and all of its glorious work.
But no, I love it because I think it's almost a lost art.
It's a forgotten art. Kind of.
(04:16):
Creating a vision for not just your, your home school, but for
your children as well. Because I like to say that we
need to become students of our children first to learn their
economy, to kind of see like, you know, what motivates them,
you know, because it's differentfor each child and, but also
just to really kind of tune intolike what makes them tick.
(04:38):
So I know you have so many greatstories on this topic.
And I also know that one of the big ones for you is this
epiphany in this conversation that you had with someone just
about, you know, working with your child's bed.
Can you share that? For us, well, you know, it's
interesting, one of the things we did in the mid 90s was to
start a Co-op and it was associated with the Masters
(04:59):
Academy of Fine Arts. And so as part of this Co-op, I
taught a course on public speaking.
And one of the years I had this class with like 10 to 15 boys,
well, about 15 boys, ages 10 to 15.
And both of my boys had gone to college.
And I love this class. So somebody had given me all
(05:19):
these out of date National Geographic maps and they were
huge. They were like 4 feet by 6 feet.
And I decided to use them as a speaking prompt.
You know, tell me about the people group.
Tell me what you've learned. You know, you've got 3 minutes.
So at the end of the class I hadlike 35 or 40 maps to fold up.
I have no spatial relationship skills and and I'm folding up
(05:40):
these maps. They're coming out like 2 inches
thick. Finally this little 13 year old
Shane looks at me and says, MissTyler, give me those maps.
I can fold them up. So in about two minutes he folds
them all up. They're thin and sleek.
I said, Shane, honey, how did you do that?
And he rolled his eyes so sweetly and he said, Miss Tyler,
you got to fold them the way they're bent.
And I think that is so key to understand that our kids weren't
(06:03):
born as a blank slate. God created each one of them
with gifts and learning styles and personality and bent a bent
the way. And if we fold them the way
they're bent, it's a great way to breathe life into your home
school and also minimize conflict.
Because if you're insisting thatthis child be something that God
(06:25):
didn't create him to be or do, well, if you want a
mathematician and this kids great at oratory or, you know,
public relations skills or whatever, you know, it's going
to be an uphill battle. So I think when we discover, it
was like when I discovered Taz learning style that day as being
auditory kinesthetic, it's freedom.
(06:47):
And so it's just like you say, the biggest thing we can do is
become a student of each child because no two of our kids are
alike. And, and that to me is the
glorious freedom and flexibilityof homeschooling is that we can,
you know, we, we still may teachthem all the same subjects, but
it's from a different vantage point.
(07:08):
And they will assimilate it in the way God made them to take
that knowledge and use it. Oh, yeah.
And I think, I think this is oneof the big secrets of
homeschooling. And it's not.
It shouldn't be a secret. Right, right.
It is why, I mean, like I have 101 reasons why we homeschool,
but this is a big one. And it's interesting to see
because I mean, I homeschooled my boys, well, all of my kids,
(07:31):
but I homeschooled MY2 oldest boys pretty much from
kindergarten, first grade all the way through graduation.
And so now I get to see, you know, what all this work looks
like now and their adulthood. And it is so cool, like I
stopped like at some point I stopped pushing because I was
like, you know what, yes, we need to do some math, but if
(07:53):
math's not your bend, then let'slet's find something that works
and we can fulfill that math. But you want it like my oldest
go read, go write. He loved it.
And I was like, I don't have to push this.
So I actually, I was crazy and wild.
I stopped giving him a curriculum his last two years of
high school because he was doingit.
(08:16):
He wrote two novels by the time he was 17 and he was reading, he
had a book list like was longer than the one I would have given
him. So I.
Was just like. Don't do your English thing.
And and now he's using it as an adult.
And so it's just, it's beautifulwhen you kind of like let go and
you see where they're going. But how can we help the parent
(08:38):
that's struggling to kind of seewhat those strengths are and
see, you know, how they can be cultivating that?
You know, I would just start watching your child when they're
the happiest, you know, and do they like to talk to you all the
time? They're probably an auditory
learner. My middle son would say, if you
give me those books and leave mealone, I can learn something.
(09:01):
Yeah. I mean, you know, he was a
visual learner and that's all heneeded was a little bit of quiet
and but he's also a people person, so he likes the
interaction. So I think we just watch our
children. Ty was really.
Both of the boys were very active in sports and they were
coordinated. Joe was a college athlete.
(09:21):
They loved sports. They did, I think every sports,
you know, just known to man. But it was part of kind of what
we did as a family. We had friends around it,
ministry around it and you know,and then we were very involved
politically just because of my situation.
And so, you know, so they both grew up.
(09:42):
They lived at the Statehouse with me.
It was like a home away from home.
And, you know, lo and behold, and, and, and, and John, really,
they both really enjoyed it. I don't know how to explain
that. But so they've, they've used
that training in, in different ways.
Lizzie loved the Fine Arts. And so by the time she got in
(10:04):
high school, we were spending, you know, she was spending 30 or
40 hours a week on the Fine Arts.
We did not want her to go to ourgovernor's school for the arts.
That's just wasn't our goal in home schooling.
And a lot of friends were going there.
And I'm, I feel sure, sure she would have been accepted.
We never applied. So, you know, I can say that
almost for certain. But she, she taught, she took
(10:28):
dance and taught dance. She was in the Greater Columbia
Children's Choir. She was very involved in
community theater with lead roles.
And so, so much of her educationreally revolved around that.
I mean, that was a lot of hours a week.
And she did an internship with aradio station when she was in
high school. And that really wedded her
(10:49):
interest in. She grew up with cameras in our
living room. She understood the importance of
the media in framing an issue, which is what she grew up to do.
And so I I just think you just watch your kids.
What makes them tick? What do they love?
Are they an introvert? Do they get their energy from
being alone? Or are they an extrovert?
(11:10):
Do they get their energy from being with people?
And we can't let our children live as hermits, but we can find
ways to let them have the quiet and solitude they need and then
find ways for them to function with people, you know, in a
collaborative sense, even if it's just playing outside.
So I just think, watch your kids.
(11:32):
What do they, what do they ask you?
What do they want to do? You know, what are they asking
about being involved in? Or you know what, what do they
want to read about? I would ask the question, what
do you, what's one thing you would like to study or learn?
And you just learn a lot from questions like that.
(11:54):
Oh, so true, So true. And it goes back to we're going
to make a list, Sam, we're going.
To make a list, yes, lists are good.
You know, I did have so many lists of all the things.
So let me just tell you, don't do what I did all the things my
kids did. My kids did so, so many great
things that they loved and read books and I had lists, but I
(12:17):
didn't always have my list together.
Yes. Your list together you know and
I. Can help with that.
Yes, so you'll you'll need that one day and when they're getting
ready to go to the military college career, start their own
business. You want all of their, you know,
the things you've done that are meaningful in writing somewhere
(12:40):
and I'm in. The other thing I would say is
serve together as a family. You know, I talked about not
being the most consistent person, but the one thing we
consistently did was have I hatethe word service project because
it makes people sound like projects.
I don't mean it that way, but you know, we, we spent a lot of
time working and being with the widows in our church and then we
(13:02):
spent six or eight years workingin an inner city ministry where
we all tutored together. The kids tutored each of the
boys. I've had a person that a young
man they tutored or a little boythey tutored.
And then Lizzie and I tutored a little girl together for six or
eight years. And it's just, you know, those
are some of our greatest memories as a family is doing
(13:24):
things like that together. So, you know, and, and sometimes
they'll serve the way you serve.What are you doing?
Take them with you. And other times they'll have
their own ideas about things they would like to do.
But I, I, I think that's, I think that's one of the most
life giving, life changing aspects of home schooling.
(13:47):
I love it and I want to hear more, but we're going to take a
quick break to hear from our sponsors.
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That's ctcmath.com. Well, welcome back everyone.
And we are still here talking toZan Tyler all about how to
(15:12):
discover. That was the first part of this
this episode, how to discover the strengths and interests of
our kids. And so now we're going to talk a
little bit more about how to cultivate those things.
Now, Zan, you already was talking about service projects
and things like that, but what when we start kind of
discovering these bins and our kids, how can we try to bring in
(15:34):
some like lifelong application? So what are some things we can
do that can help kind of cultivate, like how they can
apply this in adulthood? I'll just give a couple of
examples from our lives. You know, first of all, I think
sometimes I love this educator and, and I just have to say I
love my work with BJU Press Homeschool and I used their
(15:55):
curriculum a lot. We integrated it.
We did a lot of creative things with it.
We did a bunch of ages together with it, you know, so we, we did
a lot of things like that. But there's an, a Christian
educator named Ray Vanderlaan and he said the books we choose
are our curriculum and the interruptions God brings are his
(16:16):
curriculum. And so we spent a lot of time at
the legislature and I would comehome and just weep over the
school work we didn't get done. I mean, this was a big deal for
me. We were losing a lot of days
over a lot of years. And then it's interesting
because both of the boys, Lizzie, Lizzie got more involved
(16:38):
in the journalistic part of that.
How did that play out? And she that really did shape
what she wanted to do, you know,when she finished college as a
career and and but the boys werespent their time in the
legislature. And so Ty learned sales skills
(16:59):
like we're in the legislature one day, he's maybe 12.
And we're walking up the stairs and 1 senator, he says, hey,
Senator Smith. And he says, hey, Ty.
And I say, Ty, how do you know him?
And he says, well, mom, we live here.
I know people. You know, it was such a mess.
(17:20):
I said, I need his vote. And he won't.
I can't get him to vote for us. So Ty takes off and he goes down
the stairs and he grabs this man's hand and he brings him
upstairs and he says, we're going up to the lobby, you know
the lobby. And he says, Senator Smith, this
is not his real name. He said, I want you to meet my
mom. My mom is so sweet.
(17:40):
You really need to vote for her bill.
Mom, tell him about your bill. Well, then we struck up, you
know, a friendship. He voted with us.
And but that was Ty. He was the people person, always
connecting people. And he's still sales to this
day. And he connects people.
(18:00):
John became very close to Mike Ferris, who is president and
founder of HSLDA. And he, he spent a lot of time
watching court cases unfold in the legislature with me.
And he started and both of the boys worked as AIDS or whatever
they called him in the South Carolina State House and
(18:21):
participated in the Senate page program just for six weeks.
This was some people go for a year, they just each one for six
weeks. But so John had always wanted to
be a doctor or an oral surgeon Ithink more specifically.
But the more work he did in the Senate, one of the senators that
was the sponsor for all our homeschool legislation said John, I
(18:43):
really think you need to go to law school.
And he did. And so all of these experiences
John gained in law two years agowhen we elected our new state
Superintendent of education. She appointed him as chief legal
counsel for the state Departmentof Education in South Carolina.
Oh my goodness, that's so. Cool.
(19:03):
So now here he is. He was.
He was homeschooled, never in a public school classroom.
He homeschools his four kids. And and yet this is the place
where the Lord took all that experience that I viewed as an
interruption at the time and gave him great guidance through
that. You know, and so it's
(19:24):
interesting how as we you know, that first it says make
disciples of all the nations. The pastor friend of mine shared
is as you are going make disciples, as we are living our
lives and doing the things God has called us to as parents and
families, then I think we're decycling and our our kids and
it looks different for each one of them.
(19:46):
They each have different spiritual gifts.
They each have different callings on their lives.
Some are STEM kids, you know, some are free spirits and
entrepreneurs. All are.
You know, it's just with home schooling is glorious because I
mean, I really believe God is the ultimate Superintendent of
education and he superintends and he wants to do.
(20:09):
Glorious things for our children.
He wants to open doors for them,He wants to see them productive
for his Kingdom. And so we just work with him and
somehow it's, it's just an amazing way I, I just love the
time I had with my kids watchingtheir lives unfold, watching
their interests on and being able to shepherd that and curate
(20:30):
that just a little bit, you know?
I love it. I love it.
That's so encouraging because I think we forget as parents
sometimes because they're like homeschool, get things done
like, you know, take care of thehouse, make dinner, you know,
all of the to do's we do. As parents.
And we forget that we have this glorious ministry right in front
of us and homeschooling is the probably the best discipleship
(20:53):
tool we can use for our kids. And it's just, it's beautiful to
see how God does curate that, how God does bring all those
things together. And you know, I like to say that
he doesn't waste a thing like I.Absolutely yes.
Yeah, the, the older I get, the older I get.
(21:14):
You know, I, I just see how he does that.
He weaves everything together. Things that I'm like, well, you
know, just little insignificant things.
I'll laugh because I'll be askedto help with something.
I'm like, who knew that this skill that I learned all those
years ago? The.
Parody for this moment. Yes, yes, Ben Carson says.
God never waste any knowledge that he gives you.
(21:34):
And it's so true. It's so true.
And you know, I think one of thethings I love about
homeschooling too, is we can really focus on our kids
spiritual gifts. It's really exciting to see our
kids grow spiritually, too, and to be able to, you know, have a
little hand in shepherding thosegifts and pointing them in the
right direction when it comes toministry and service.
(21:57):
Yes, absolutely. Well, I could feel like I could
talk to you forever. I think we only have a few more
minutes left in the show, but can you just give like a couple
quick just tips on how, cuz I, Ican see people listening to this
and going wonderful. Well, I shall add this and this
and this to our schedule. And I mean, I did an episode
(22:18):
with Yvette all about like burnout, things like that.
And so can we just a couple quick tips on how parents can
slow it down a little and make sure they don't overwhelm.
I think we all need to find our own rhythm.
You know, everybody's got a different life rhythm and
spiritual rhythm and how we gainenergy and how we burn out.
(22:43):
And I think we need to know ourselves and homeschooling.
So I did a whole book on homeschool burnout.
And I always say if you've homeschooled for more than three
hours, you've experienced burnout.
It's, it's hard because you're giving of yourself all the time.
We need to make sure that we're supplying ourselves, you know,
from the one who gives us strength and loves us and gives
(23:06):
us energy. And so, you know, you had, I
think it's a lot of give and take and you try one thing, it
doesn't work, you try another thing.
Sometimes you pull back for six months and say we're home, no
co-ops, no this, no that. And then other times you go full
strength, you know, just full speed ahead.
(23:28):
And we, most of us gained our energy from people and from
being out. And so that sort of set the tone
for who we were as a family, butthat's who we were as a family.
And, you know, so you've got to find out who you are as a family
and how you know, that's what discipleship is.
(23:50):
Jesus could have had any curriculum in the world to
disciple people with. I mean, he was the same
yesterday, today and forever. He knew every Sunday school
curriculum that's ever been written.
But what did he choose? He chose to invest his life in
the disciples. They spent three years together,
you know, ministering together, cooking together, traveling
(24:10):
together, fussing together, You know it.
And, and I think he invested hislife in theirs.
And so I think as we truly invest our lives and our
children, we'll know when to go forward, when to take a step
back. That's the glory of
homeschooling. We're a speedboat.
We're not a yacht. You need to make a 180° turn,
(24:33):
you can do it. You need to change books, you
can do it. You need to change your pace,
you can do it. Don't be afraid.
I mean, that's the greatest advantage of homeschooling to
me, you know, is that flexibility we have in
determining our schedules and our lifestyles.
I love it. Well, thank you, Zan so much for
(24:53):
coming on the show. And in case people missed it
from the first episode that we did together a week ago, can you
share about where people can find you and what resources you
have? You can find me at Zan
tyler.com, my website, and my podcast Is Zan Tyler Thriving in
Your Homeschool? On the website you can find a
free download when homeschoolinggets hard, and that is free for
(25:16):
you. We're working on a couple of
other things now that unfortunately aren't available
at this point, but keep checkingback with us and I and and and
also on social media. Perfect.
Oh well, thank you Zan for coming on.
Well, thank you so much, Christy, and thank you to
Schoolhouse Rock and Yvette and Garrett and all they've done for
so, so many of us. So wonderful.
(25:39):
And Speaking of Schoolhouse rocked resources, if you guys
want to head over to schoolhouserocked.com, you can
stream the movie. You can listen to, you know,
former episodes and find different tools and resources
there on the website. But make sure that if you are
listening to this podcast episode that you subscribe on
(26:00):
whatever device that you or whatever platform that you're
listening to on. If you are watching us and like
all the hand movements, but if you're watching us on YouTube,
then make sure that you subscribe there as well.
And as you probably guess, I'm not the normal host here and I'm
not the only host of SchoolhouseRock, but my name is Christy
(26:21):
Clover and you can find my resources over at
christyclover.com. In fact, I have a special coupon
code just for our Schoolhouse Rock families and that is rocked
20. So if you go to
christyclover.com 4 slash sanity, you can get a free
download of my sanity savers forMom's book.
But you can also from my websitefind all of the different online
(26:44):
courses, which is really my passion is to create resources
for families just like you to make your school life, your home
life a little bit simpler and more sane.
And so if you use rocked 20, that will get you 20% off of any
of my courses. So hopefully you will find that
helpful. Well, that's it from me today.
Thank you so much for listening and make sure you stay tuned for
(27:07):
a little sneak peek at what's coming up next on Schoolhouse
Rock podcast and have a wonderful rest of your week.
Bye everybody. You're listening to the Biblical
Family Network. Hey, I'm Miki and I'm Will and
we're the Co host of the CultureProof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
(27:29):
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe Word of God, so that's where
we want to. Look Amen when we resist those
cultural trends that rival the truth.
We remain culture proof. Way too much discretion and
(27:51):
authority is given to CPS and they end up, you know, getting
involved in people's lives that they really shouldn't.
Across the country, studies showthe 37% of children will be part
of CPS investigation by the timethey turn 18.
You, you think, well, I live in Texas or you live in Oklahoma or
other folks live in these red states, conservative States and
(28:13):
like, well, I don't have to worry about that here, you know,
or people are like, oh, well, Trump is now the president, so
we don't have to worry about that.
And, and what's interesting is that the states that are
actually the most aggressive on CPS issues are oftentimes the
most conservative states.
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