The Courage To Change: Nick G's Testimony at Sober Not Boring Jan 31, 2025

The Courage To Change - Nick's Journey of Recovery and Redemption

In this heartfelt and raw testimony, Nick shares his powerful story of overcoming childhood trauma, addiction, and multiple incarcerations. From growing up in an abusive household to battling severe cocaine and meth addictions, Nick's journey is one of resilience and transformation.

He highlights his struggles, including run-ins with the law and the challenges of finding stability and purpose. Ultimately, Nick finds hope through recovery programs, support from mentors at Outreach 419, and his determination to become a Recovery Coach. This story is a testament to the power of perseverance and community support in the path to sobriety and a better life.

00:00 Introduction and Early Life

00:06 Childhood Trauma and Family Struggles

01:41 Rebellion and Juvenile Detention

02:45 Addiction and Prison

03:53 Struggles with Meth and Attempts at Recovery

06:05 Turning Point and Seeking Help

07:56 Gratitude and Future Aspirations

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Alright, my name is Nick.
I'm a person in recovery.
I wanted to share my story tonight.
I've been,
pushing towards it, man, and, actuallywrote it down, rough drafted, but
I'm just going to go off the topof my head because I grew up, man,
in an abusive, home with my dad andmy mom, always arguing, fighting.

(00:24):
I remember when my mom would,she was that stay at home mom.
My dad would come home from work,working at Freightliner in Grand Rapids.
And, if he didn't like what my mom madefor dinner, he'd come home and throw, I
remember one time she threw, he threw awhole hot plate of spaghetti at my mom.
and, as if he came home, paydays, most ofthe time he was gone for three, four days.

(00:45):
Come home broke afterwards.
So, I remember one time I endedup, asking, they were sitting there
fighting and I told my dad I wasgoing to call the police on them.
And I remember he, pulled thephone cord out the wall and
started whipping me with it.
And, so I grew up with a wholebunch of childhood trauma with that.
Finally, after a while, mymom, decided to leave him.

(01:07):
from Grand Rapids, wewent to Mount Pleasant.
My, my grandparents were.
I blame my mom a lot for leaving mydad, I didn't know the whole story.
I was young.
I was a daddy's boy.
Then, I started acting out,because that's what I knew.
I knew, what I was taught, was,hey, men don't cry for one.

(01:29):
I remember me and my brother, we usedto get whooped until we quit crying,
and that right there, he made me be ahardcore, steel, emotionless asshole.
Sorry, but it's what he made me, and Istarted actually going into the streets
at the age of 11, smoking cigarettes.

(01:51):
drinking beer, drinking alcohol,hanging out in the hood.
Started, skipping school, sneaking out.
And then, from there, itwas into juvenile detention.
And then they trained me, they groomed me.
From there, went to foster care,went to the Indiana boot camp.
backed into foster care.

(02:13):
I remember the day my, Ihad to go into foster care.
My mom gave up her rights to me.
She stood in the courtroom and said Ican't handle him because me and my stepdad
got into it and I end up beating on him.
I was an angry, angry kid.
I didn't know how to talk aboutthings, didn't know how to communicate.
I just let a lot of anger builtup and I would just lash out.

(02:38):
But a lot of that anger, And hateturned into me not knowing what to do.
And after my first time inprison, I went to prison for
five years for an armed robbery.
And after them five years, Iwas introduced into cocaine.
And after that, it was eight ballafter eight ball, quarter to quarter.

(03:01):
it was just, it was abad situation all around.
seeing that sun go up and then goback down, go back up, I started
doing it just to try to work morehours, and then I was working more
hours just to keep doing it, you know?
So, it was a bad situation.
And I actually met my kid's mom inthe midst of my cocaine addiction.

(03:22):
We were two addicts, you know, just havingfun at the time, but then things got real
when she was pregnant with my first son.
Then I left for a while,went down to Austin, Texas.
That was fun.
went down there for a year, cameback, had another son with her.
Okay, I'm still fightingaddiction when I come back.

(03:44):
Cocaine, I think actually, Ithink on my way back through Grand
Rapids, I grabbed a bag of cocaine.
I didn't know no better, like I was stillfighting it, still young in my head.
and I went, from cocaine addiction tometh, and that just, that was the worst
transformation I've ever had in my life.
But that was obviously cuttinghair, you know, in prison, that's

(04:08):
where I learned how to cut hair.
when I got out I was cutting hair inthe local trap house just to get high.
it was just, it was asad, sad, sad situation.
I got into a couple barbershops,started getting, becoming absent
because of my meth addiction.
I'd stay up three, four days in a rowand then crash for another two days.

(04:29):
So I lose a chair, and losinga chair, I lose clients.
So I decided, hey, I'm goingto just open my own shop.
No.
First time I ever gotraided was through that.
I was cutting hair 24 hours a day.
I had a downstairs apartment.
I was, the landlord said, You cango ahead and use the upstairs.

(04:50):
Put the shop upstairs.
Burton Heights in Grand Rapids, In NOut, 24 hours, you know, I got a, I had
a thing on my, Google said 24 hours open.
what barbershops open 24 hours?
Come on now.
Come on man.
Yeah, Burton Heights.
Right there behind Burton Street Padnos.

(05:11):
Come on now.
They knew what was going on.
First time I got raided.
Luckily, I didn't havenothing in the shop.
it wasn't my address upstairs.
But, they were stillcatching on to everything.
And, a couple of my friends endedup getting stabbed at my house,
and it was just getting too wild.
After that, that was when I wasfighting a, interference with an

(05:32):
electronic communication devicebetween me and my kid's mom.
But, I ended up going back toprison for another two years.
For that, I got back outdoing the same dumb shit.
Messing around with that meth again,and It didn't take me until I want to
say a year after I got out of prisonthis last time, I had everything, lost

(05:54):
it, had everything, lost it twice.
going to school at Empire, get pulledover in Kentwood with a, with my
Impala and lost everything again.
Get out on Bond, I'm sleeping inmy friend's shed, right during fall
before I went to rehab and I'm like,I looked at myself one day and I'm
like, what the hell am I doing?

(06:18):
I was dying, 160 pounds.
I came out of prison the last time at 210.
what am I doing?
Like, why am I killing myselfslowly when I got sons?
my mom, she pulled me aside,she said, Son, you're just,
you're eating yourself away.
you're just killing yourself.

(06:38):
And, I made that one step, man.
to put myself at Bear River.
And if it wasn't for everythingthat I've been through and my
grandfather was in addiction.
He was a long term recovery, throughalcohol, they found out with him it
brought on hereditary Alzheimer's sooner.
He died at the age of 52.

(07:02):
So I'm doing what I'm doingbecause of him and because of
myself and because of my kids.
my grandfather couldn't evensee me walk to graduate.
I didn't even think I was going tograduate, and I thank this place right
here, Rob and Heidi, every day, andwhenever I'm feeling down, depressed, when

(07:24):
I lost my job at Dicastle, Rob was thefirst one I called when I lost my job.
You know, I felt like I didn'tbelong out here no more.
I don't belong, like I, I'm a city boy.
I don't belong in Greenville, Michigan.
come on.
come on man.
No, but it's I'm getting toldby locals around here to pull

(07:45):
up your pants and act white.
I'm sorry, what's the definition of that?
But, it's still, I held my head uphigh and I still Went to different
jobs for the different applications.
Thanks to other people to help me getinto Clarion, which I thank you guys,
and this place right here is believing inme, and as much as I can do to give back

(08:07):
Rob and Heidi, I'm right there, but youguys have helped change my life, change
my outcome, change my outlook on life.
And I appreciate that man, withoutthis place, my mom even told me,
she's Nick, you talk about Outreach419 like it's your go to church.
I'm like, it basically is.
So you know, I want to say thank you toyou guys, and I appreciate everything you

(08:29):
guys do, and I hope that, like I said, inthe future we can just, Do more and more
and more, you know, like I said, it ain'tmuch more you guys can do, Rob and Heidi.
like I'm going to gotry to get my CCAR, man.
I'm trying to become a Recovery Coach.
I never thought I wouldbecome a recovery coach.

(08:49):
I'm going to try.
Ain't no reason not to try.
But, with that, I appreciateeverything and everybody here, man.
And that's, that's bottom of my heart.
I love you guys all like family.
We appreciate you, man.