Welcome to the "Show Me The Way" podcast with David Seitter
In this episode of "Show Me the Way," Dave and Charis Santillie, a fearless transition coach and Founder of Charis Your Life®, dive deep into the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual sides of business succession, continuity, and exit planning. From young entrepreneurs recognizing the pitfalls of workaholism to seasoned professionals redefining their purpose post-retirement, Charis provides valuable guidance for business owners navigating challenging transitions.
Ep. 67 — From Succession to Success: Emotional Intelligence in Business Transitions with Charis SantillieCharis explains the significance of the owl in her logo and tagline. The owl, an emblem of wisdom and guidance, symbolizes the advising role she embodies. Her approach intertwines personal development with business acumen, fostering environments where individuals can thrive both professionally and personally.
The Heart of TransitionCharis shares her personal story, a poignant narrative that deeply influences her work. Witnessing her parents' entrepreneurial journey—rising to success, yet facing adversity when unforeseen circumstances struck—shaped her understanding of resilience. Charis recounts the profound impact of her father's paralysis and her mother's subsequent struggles, experiences that catalyzed her path to guiding others.
Coaching Across Ages: Unique ConnectionsCharis's clients span ages and backgrounds, from ambitious thirty-year-olds seeking balance to seasoned business owners nearing retirement. For younger clients, she emphasizes the importance of not letting work define their existence. Her advice serves as a caution against the seductiveness of equating identity with professional achievement.
For those in their fifties or sixties, Charis emphasizes planning transitional phases, highlighting the psychological challenges tied to identity shifts. These transitions, she notes, must incorporate emotional readiness alongside strategic planning to ensure a smooth passage into new life chapters.
Lessons from Successful TransitionsCharis shares compelling success stories, such as a client who meticulously planned his business transition over several years. By phasing back work responsibilities and engaging in spiritual and emotional preparation, he ensured a seamless exit, embracing retirement as an opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment.
Her stories emphasize the critical nature of redefining purpose beyond professional titles. Charis advocates for identifying intrinsic motivations and cultivating activities that genuinely light up individuals, regardless of societal expectations.
Redefining Purpose in Business and LifeTogether they reflect on the importance of internal motivation and the quest for authenticity. Charis urges listeners to look beyond external achievements and discover a purpose that harmonizes professional endeavors with personal joy.
Dave highlights the significance of considering Charis's insights, pushing the audience to think deeply about their own transitions.
For those seeking guidance, Charis Santillie's coaching offers a beacon of wisdom in navigating complex business and life transitions. Her approach, rooted in personal experience and profound understanding, provides a roadmap for individuals striving for a fulfilling life beyond their professional endeavors. Visit Charis's website or listen to her podcast, "Charis Your Life," to delve deeper into these essential life lessons.
To reach out to Dave for advice or consultation, please visit www.davidseitter.com or email him at dseitter4@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Show me the way.
Episode 67, the Owl Guidethrough Fearless Transitions.
So ladies and gentlemen, I think you'regonna really find some insight here.
I'm taking a different course ofaction or a different direction.
I've got Sheriff Santilli here today withme, and we're talking about the things
that really solidify what I'm trying tobring to the table for all individuals.
(00:23):
Business succession, business continuity,I. Exit plan, the whole package.
But what she's going to bring toyou is the emotional side, the
intellectual, the spiritual side.
And I do mean all three things thatI think are component parts with
what you are going through and we'llgo through in your business career.
(00:44):
I think you're going to beexcited at the end of this.
I think you're gonna be touched.
I think you're gonna be emotional.
I think you're gonnawalk away learning a ton.
Stay tuned.
(01:06):
Welcome to Show me theWay a podcast about.
Business succession planning,the merger and acquisition
experience in successful exits.
I continue to be your host.
Yes, I am Dave Cider.
I want to thank you forchecking out my podcast series.
Show me the way.
If you are seeking assistancewith your business dreams, please
consider checking out the resourcesthat I've made available to you at.
(01:30):
Either my LinkedIn website or my podcast.
Again, show me the way, or you cancheck out my book, quiet Plans and
Exciting Results available on Amazonin either written or audible format.
And as well my websites, davidcider.com, where I have quite a bit
of content for you to consider andinformation on how you can, for a very
(01:53):
nominal price, access and assessmentthat you and I can review together.
To discuss where you're at and whereyou want to go as far as your dreams
are concerned, and I would look forwardto talking to you about your future
kids.
Let me be really focused today.
I need to be especially focused.
(02:15):
Because this is going to be a very uniqueshow from the other shows we've done.
We're going to be getting into story time.
You know how I like to lay outscripts and have specific questions.
I'm gonna ask Sheriff Clia Sheriffs YourLife to share some of the stories where
she has helped individuals, some of theyounger business owners, older business
(02:35):
owners, and some that are retired, andhow she has helped them through those.
Very difficult circumstances.
I want you to check out her website.
I want you to listen to her podcastsbecause it's truly insightful.
I see it Shera as being so helpful topeople going through a sales process
and frankly, after the process somuch that I wanted her on this show.
(02:59):
It only took me five minutes tofigure that out when I met her.
Sheriffs.
Welcome to the show.
Thanks so much, Dave.
So let's talk a little bit, first ofall, let's get down to it, the Owl
Guide through Fearless Transitions.
Okay.
There's, there's a double entendrethere and I've never been able
to say that on any of my podcast.
I just wanna say it there.
So explain that one to mebecause you know, that was fun.
(03:23):
First of all, we just have to like, I feellike we need to clue in the audience just
how much fun we've been having behind thescenes in yes, getting this thing going,
some audio issues and a lot of fun voices.
I don't know, have you ever doneall the, does your audience know how
talented you are, Dave, with, with voice?
Im impersonations.
My firm's recommended that I not do itbecause there's multiple HR violations in.
(03:45):
Oh, yes.
I see.
I,
yes, I see that.
Well, let me just, I just want themto know that you have this like secret
talent and that if they ever, you know,are talking with you aside from this
podcast, they should ask you about it.
Thank you.
So that's, I'm, we're justgonna leave it there because
there's been a lot of laughter.
It's been very entertaining and,and you just must know, you must
know Dave has secret talents.
(04:06):
Okay.
So the owl, owl is significantin my world for a lot of reasons,
and there's an owl in my logo.
And my tagline is, I'll guide you.
Get it.
Ha ha.
You know, like, I'llguide you, I'll guide you.
Yeah.
Yep.
Tip
Your waiters will be here until Thursday.
Those at seven 11.
(04:26):
That's good.
I mean, it's good.
Come on.
That's good.
It's
really good.
Yeah.
So, so there's, and there's a lot ofspecial stuff in with, in my life around
owls, but for someone like me who isa coach and a guide helping people.
Navigate stuff in their life.
The owl is a great symbol for that.
It's often used in this way, inconnection with wisdom and guidance
(04:52):
and advisement and et cetera.
So there you go.
So that's the explanation for the owl.
So that's
the
short story
because there's an owl involvedthat takes me to, to a zoo or
you're a docent then of sorts.
When it's all said and done.
You guide people through.
Yeah.
Yeah, I, yeah, I really dothink of myself as a guide.
(05:12):
Because it's, it's nearly impossible todo this work, this inner work that I do
that they don't really know what I do yet.
But it's, this is inner work and it isnearly impossible to do it on your own.
So it really usually requires thehelp of somebody besides you to
help you see things you can't see.
(05:35):
Because of the way we live our livesand operate as humans and have these
beautiful brains that sometimes helpus and sometimes aren't so helpful.
So you have a beautiful name,speaking of beautiful things, and
that has a big bearing on your title.
In your basically your life,would you explain to them.
(05:57):
How do we say this?
First of all, let's talk about your nameand how that plays into your business.
Let's start there and then we'll gointo, let's go into your background.
Let's go into your experiencesand how you got on this trail of
being a guide for other people.
Okay, so yeah, my, my name, myparents chose it out of the nurse's
name book, actually it's Greek,and a definition of it is grace.
(06:19):
So it's, I actually years ago had someonetell me, it was actually when I was
in hosp, well, not, I was in hospice.
My mom was in hospice.
I was with her and the hospiceminister there, something new, my
name, and he said, you're a Grace gift.
(06:40):
And I thought, isn't that beautiful?
So, so I, I really love my name,especially in connection with what I
do, because I think I am a guide helpingpeople give themself, you know, grace
and that shows up in many different ways.
You don't have to be religiousor spiritual to have that
mean something for you.
It it in that regard.
(07:01):
It is a beautiful conceptregardless of what you believe in.
And so, so I really love thatin connection with my, my work
and then the fun play on words,you know, cherish your life.
It's, it's, it's really fun.
It's fun to be able to playon words with my name and.
So years ago when I was a kid, alot of people would play around with
(07:25):
it that remember the song by Cool.
Was it Cool in The GangCherish or Cherish the Love?
Right?
Something like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that popped in my head one daywhen I was making coffee as a.
Idea when I was thinking, whatdo I wanna call my business?
And then I was like, I should gothink about all the things that
(07:46):
people said as jokes to me when I wasa kid and the songs that were sung.
And that popped in my head and thenI thought, oh, I should play off
the con, the word cherish and seewhat phrases I can come up with.
So then there you go.
Cherish Your Life was Born.
I wrote it down on a post-itnote and here we are.
Nobody else has a fun name.
(08:08):
You're the first person in thepodcast with a fun name or a a, a
name that requires much explanation.
That's the first one.
And I know all the people listento podcasts will remember that.
Remember, it's cherish like Paris,so you can't ever forget it.
We're at the end of our podcast.
We're gonna talk about how theycan reach you, but now tell us
a little bit about yourself.
(08:28):
Where were you born?
Born in southeastern Washingtonstate, which is a desert.
Not what you think of when youthink of Washington for a lot of
people, but that's where I was born.
Been there.
I can confirm that.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Hannaford, I'm thinking about that.
So, yes.
Yes.
Hanford.
Yep.
Started there.
Yep.
I went to, I went to Richland High.
(08:50):
I was a Richland Bomber.
Yeah.
Let's just not, let's, we're notgonna go there, but that's the ma.
There's a whole story there,but we don't have time today, so
moving right along.
But other than that, this is Lincoln now.
Keep going.
Okay.
So you wind up going back east atsome point in your illustrious career?
(09:14):
Well, no, no.
South or along the coast?
California.
Well, no.
Let's see.
I met my husband at University ofPuget Sound in Tacoma, Washington.
And, and that's actually, so if we wannago, kind of go storyline of my, you
know, the little bit, the, the life storythat you were wanting me to get into.
So I went off to college, myparents were entrepreneurs.
(09:35):
They were Washington State, smallbusiness owners of the year.
They, they got all sorts of accolades.
Yeah, they had a gourmet pasta business.
It was really fun, junior high andhigh school to watch them build
that from scratch, like literally.
In the late eighties, earlynineties, go for achieve the American
dream, the hard work, the nights,the weekends, the whole thing.
(09:57):
So I, I grew up in that and then modeledafter them really fast to, you know,
be a high achiever myself and gotall the accolades I could in school.
Went off to college and came back.
One year in and, and for my dad's50th birthday, so I was about to
turn 19, he was turned 50 and wecelebrated with a hot air balloon ride.
(10:17):
And this should have been abeautiful, amazing experience.
Yet we had some seriouscomplications when we came into land.
And the short story is he endedup rolling out of the balloon
as we were hitting the ground.
He ended up with a brokenneck and was paralyzed.
(10:40):
We somehow got ourselves tothe ground, ran over to him.
I was completely hysterical.
He looks up at me, sees his little girland says, you should see the other guy.
He.
So this was a pivotal turning point inour life through everything upside down.
And I watched my parents in the aftermathof that end up losing their home and
(11:06):
their business along with dad's mobility.
And then my mom, I watchedher turn to alcohol to numb
her pain, which eventually.
As I alluded to a little bit earlierwith my comment that eventually took
her life in the sense of liver failure,and about 11 years ago, and I turned to
(11:30):
becoming a workaholic because that wasmuch easier than really facing what was
going on underneath the surface for me.
So a couple decades of that, butfortunately, along the way, a therapist
found me and a coach found me.
And then that got me into my path of allsorts of personal healing in different
(11:53):
ways and facing things that I had buriedand then got a lots shifted and sorted
and shifted in myself and then decided,Hey, I wanna do this to help others.
And I, I, first of all,thank you for sharing.
We, I asked her to share this with usbecause it's always, I think, significant
(12:17):
for people listening to podcasts toknow where people are coming from, the
base from which they grow in advancein their lives and how they involve.
That's painful.
I have not been through that.
I wanna thank you.
Chairs for sharing that, and I thinkit's meaningful for the listeners.
I think they'll be able to identifyeverybody is going through something.
(12:39):
Mm-hmm.
Dear God, I hope it's not what you'vehad to go through, but because of this,
and we're gonna get into this, you havebrought forth now some amazing talents
and amazing experiences through this.
Metamorphosis, if I may use that term.
Mm-hmm.
To where you're at now.
(13:00):
Let's talk about a couple of yourfavorite stories that you have
shared with me, because you've helpedpeople through dramatic situations.
You're uniquely qualified because you'vebeen through dramatic circumstances.
Let's talk about the young man whoselife you shared a little bit with
me, the 30-year-old, or some of thepeople you've dealt with in that arena.
(13:21):
Could you start with that please?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, so I was at an event talking tomost of my clients have tended to be men.
The women that I've helped, I wouldsay share in the quality of mine that
I had for a couple decades there ofmaybe having my go, go, go achiever.
(13:43):
Mm-hmm.
A little bit more masculineside of me, amped up the dial,
you know, was I amped up?
Turned up a little too high.
So I think that's one of thereasons I relate so well to men.
And so the women that I, that resonatewith me tend to be that kind of go-getter
type of hard charging female personality.
But me, most of my clients are, are men.
(14:04):
And I was speaking to a group andwide age, RA age range, but right
after I spoke, gentleman came up tome, he is in his early thirties and.
He was just like, oh my gosh, there'sso much of this like dude coaching
out there of this, go, go, go.
Achieve, achieve, achieve.
Mm-hmm.
You know, make the money, make themoney, go for the, and he is like, you
(14:27):
know, yes, I want to further my careerand I'm, and I want to make a lot of
money and have this really amazing life.
And I also am really aware that if I keep.
Going down the path that I'm feeling andlistening to a lot of the things that I'm
come feeling coming at me that I'm likegonna hate my life in a couple years.
(14:51):
And so I was like, wow,this is awesome that you're
realizing this in your thirties.
And he said, you know, Iwanna work with you, period.
Sold.
End of story.
Where do I sign up?
How does this go?
So, and then he's referred me otherpeople, and it's been fantastic,
including a friend of his.
Also in his thirties, and I'mjust like, this is so amazing.
(15:13):
If I think back, let's see, I would'vebeen late thirties when I met my coach,
and I would've had been doing therapyfor quite some time at that point.
But it just really impressed me thatthese guys are, I think you mentioned
the word to me earlier too, justhearing all that noise and that.
That push and that kind of thesociety just standard that's kind
(15:37):
of been there of just go, go, go.
Achieve, achieve, make money,make money, especially for men.
So really impressive to me, thehave that they recognized it and
that they wanna seek this help now.
And because what I do with them isemotional, like we're looking under
the hood, we're learning how theyoperate, and we're discovering how.
There's hidden fears that are runningtheir life because people don't
(16:00):
typically walk through life saying,well, I'm afraid and this is why I
didn't wanna send the text today.
Or, I got irritated when myso-and-so called me or whatever.
But the fact of the matter is we'vegot these unconscious fears literally
connected, like neuroscience wise.
There's a lot of, ofunderstanding I have of that.
The foundation of all of my coachingtraining is very brain science based.
(16:24):
There's literally.
Unconscious fears drivingour days and our actions.
And if we don't become aware of them,then we keep doing the things we're doing.
We keep reacting, we keep self-sabotaging.
Without realizing it, we becomeworkaholics or other sorts of
(16:45):
addictions and we miss out on a lot.
So, so there's a little bit about someof these guys in their thirties that I've
been helping and, and how they found me.
So to your point, that's what Ilike people to focus on, and I'm
talking about the sensitive sideof, of business continuity planning.
Continuity by definition mean how do Iextend elongate otherwise evolve so that I
(17:10):
can be in this business of this situation?
Wow, myself included.
You know, nobody teaches you howto run a business and you kind
of learn through trial and error.
And I, I've learned over time that if youmake your life bigger than your business,
then you have a chance to succeed.
But I think all males, me included,tend to look at business first
(17:33):
and life as a subset of that.
So.
Really insightful.
Share with me now, someone intheir, their fifties or sixties,
you had an example mm-hmm.
Going through a process and let'stalk about that for a moment.
Your insight would really be helpful.
Yeah.
A couple people coming to mind.
So one I've got in mind, he's about50 ish and really achieved a lot and.
(18:01):
A lot of wealth, a lot of amazing thingsthat has, that he's accomplished yet has
realized some of the relationships havebeen compromised along this journey.
So we're talking, you know, marriage,we're talking children, and while
there's nothing wrong with the wayhe's lived and he's happy about.
(18:25):
Achieving what he has,and that's all great.
He's realizing though that rightnow his top priority is his
family, which is requiring a shift.
He's not ready to retire, butit's definitely requiring a
shift in a lot of things and.
An understanding of himself, a shiftin priorities in like his actions,
(18:50):
what time he leaves work, if he takesdays off, how he engages with them.
To being able to set the work personaaside and connect with them in that
way that they, to show up to be the dadand the husband that they, that they
love and really enjoy being around.
(19:12):
And he is treasuring that.
But it was, you know, it wasdefinitely some personal issues
that came to the forefront.
And is a perfect example of the cl.You know, cliches are, cl are exist
for a reason 'cause they're true.
And so, you know, you really, the factmoney don't buy happiness is very much.
(19:32):
A true story that I'm seeing witha lot of people that I work with.
So that's one person coming to mind.
Another one he is in like late fifties,semi-retired in the sense that the
majority of the operations beinghandled by somebody else at this stage
and he's just kind of like on theoutskirts of the business and basically
(19:55):
can enjoy time however he likes and.
In either of his core two homes andout on his boat and all the things,
but was realizing he was facing thathe was feeling a lot of guilt for the
fact that he didn't really need to work.
Guilt for enjoying the time to go outfishing, you know, the these things
(20:17):
that he's worked to achieve is there.
But it's like, Ugh, doI get to enjoy this?
And so we worked on that togetherand helped him discover some things
about himself so that he couldenjoy his life at this stage now.
And so there's, there's a couple comingto mind that are in their fifties.
(20:41):
And so I look at this as thosedifficulties that typically come up
in the context of succession planningas you get older and trying to figure
out how can I move on, generallyspeaking with my life and what's next?
And then can we develop a little bitmore with that exit plan vis-a-vis
(21:02):
what it looks like after the fact, andhow you help people deal with that.
Well, I can think of someone right now whowas completing an exit, had a whole plan.
He did this, the, the true like ideal way.
Like if you can set out and plan to dothis work with Dave to plan ahead, you
(21:23):
know, this is the, the, the awesomescenario that made life for him in this.
Transition.
So smooth.
So I love to share him as a story becauseit's like he did a couple year phase down
of his, his work time, like phasing backhis days, transitioning to his son, the
business operations, and doing that wholetransition in a really beautiful way.
(21:49):
And then near the, in the, duringthe last year of his work engaged in,
he's a religious man, so he engagedin a. Like retirement group that's
connected with his church of peoplegoing through that transition from a
spiritual perspective that supported him.
And then he also engaged with me toguide him in my perspective and tools and
(22:13):
exercises and what we, what we do, andunderstanding what's going on again in
connection with these hidden fears and.
How he's the patternedbehaviors and thoughts he has
and how to shift all of that.
And a lot about communication too, so thathe'd be the best communicator possible.
As he was realizing he's spending moreand more time around his lovely wife and.
(22:38):
That was his, like, wow, I wanna makesure that I show up and can be the
best partner I can be, especiallyas we're about to be spending more
and more and more time together andlearning some communication tips.
He'd never, you know, he's someonecrossing over the 70-year-old thresh
hold and in this exit and this wholeprocess and in a generation that.
(23:03):
It wasn't really encouraged or highlyregarded to do any kind of emotional work.
Back in the day.
It's, that's changed inrecent years for sure.
And so it was really remarkableto, to work with him to go
through and learn about himself.
You know, he had, he'd had businesscoaches before, but he'd never
worked with anybody doing thereflective work that we were doing.
(23:27):
And it was really exciting to see.
It was really super fun too, where I'dgive him communication tips and then
he'd come back and you'd be like, oh my.
Gosh that worked.
He was like, I'm gonna do that again.
So that was a beautiful, beautifulexample that I love of an exit gone really
(23:47):
well and it a breeze into retirementdoing all the things he'd wanted to do,
taking care of his health and wellbeingin various ways, having a social life
with who he wanted to have it with.
Volunteer stuff like.
And rest, and just havingfun with his spouse and.
(24:08):
Kids and all the thingslike an ideal scenario.
It's a beautiful story andI'm, he's one of my, my great
examples of, of what's possible.
'cause it really can, it really is,is possible, but you gotta like,
you gotta put in the work and do theplanning if you want it to go that
smoothly, let's put it that way.
(24:29):
You know, to your point, uh, Ispoke to a bunch of business people
last year about this time lastyear in San Diego, and I call this.
Part of life, not retirement, but rewire.
Mm-hmm.
And I tried to trademark it, but toomany people have been out in front.
So a critical mass for anybody andeveryone, especially as I shared with the
(24:49):
audience, that I felt at this point inour civilization and specifically in this
country, everybody can live to a hundred.
With subject to some kindof catastrophic phenomenon.
Obviously the situations you know well,but well, let's try to put ourselves
in a position where we can achievethat goal and how are you going to
live it and oh yeah, you're gonna live,if you're 65 or another 35 years, you
(25:14):
better figure out about rewire it.
Let's do this.
I'm gonna take you back whatI call the business continuity
plan, the the 30-year-old.
What is the lesson to pass along topeople at that stage, thirties and forties
trying to figure out how they stay?
Same as they're going through the process.
(25:34):
What is the lesson?
Don't let the pattern really like takehold at that age of the work being
the end all, be all for your life.
That is the age where if you can,I hesitate to use the word balance
because it's, that's a really trickyconcept and I don't, so, but there
(25:54):
is a matter of, let's put it thisway, be aware of the seductiveness.
That exists in letting your work andyour external achievements become
the driving factor of your life.
That is a slippery slope and a sneakylittle way to avoid personal growth
(26:20):
and authenticity and connection.
Don't let it defineyourself for your existence.
Yep,
yep.
I get it.
Thank you.
It's, it's a easy one to let happen.
Don't we all know that?
That's business continuity for me.
Thank you.
Let's talk now about successionplanning, back slash exit planning.
(26:41):
What is the lesson?
I'm, I'm thinking about the people inthe sixties you've been talking about.
Mm-hmm.
What would that look like?
So that's if you can plan aheadso that you can phase back your
work life and have this be a. Truelonger term, multi-year transition.
(27:03):
Your whole nervous system and yourbrain can get on board with it.
It can be an easier thing to navigateversus just feeling like you've
fallen off the edge of a cliff.
If you just wanna go from, youknow, business owner and the top
dog who got the invitations to theimportant events and all the things.
(27:28):
Two, suddenly retired.
Not getting those.
Invites and those acknowledgements,like you were not getting the day-to-day
texts and emails and such from a team.
That is a, I'm thinking of somebodyelse I worked with that, that,
that really rocked his world andput him into a serious depression.
(27:49):
And it's very common.
I mean, I've even heard of, I, Iknow someone, a business broker
who had an experience with a clientthat committed suicide within a
year of, of a sudden retirement.
I mean, it is.
It can be a, it's a huge identityconnection for a lot of business
owners and entrepreneurs, especiallyif they've built the business.
Ground up and, and like I sawwith my mom, I mean, losing the
(28:12):
business was a final straw for her.
And for her is extremely personal.
And it was like, itreally was like her baby.
I mean, we, we talk about that andit, it, it's true for a lot of people.
Their business is like anotherchild and especially when they
create, create it from scratch.
And that is a very, also a verydangerous place to be because.
(28:35):
It's really hard to separate from it.
And so again, if you can plan for a longertransitional phase, ideally a number
of years, two, three years even, to dothis slower switcheroo, much easier.
Much easier to give yourself a runway tolike land the plane and take off again.
(28:57):
And ideally have those like overlapand also so that you don't feel guilty.
And can actually enjoy.
The things you want to enjoy.
But I think there's anotherlesson in there too, is don't
wait for all those things becauseso much can happen in your life.
(29:17):
You, you know, you are, even though weare living longer, it's easier to get
around and travel and do things whenyou have younger body and all that.
So that can be to your advantagein a lot of ways so that you don't.
You aren't looking to yourwork to fill everything.
So, so I think there's a handfulof lessons in there that I've
sort of covered, but the, the,the big one is allowing time.
(29:41):
It's gonna be mucheasier on you if you do.
It actually also is better forthe business value, as I know, I'm
sure you've talked about before.
You can, you can express moreto, to people and educate them on
that, but it, it, there's so muchbenefit to allowing that time.
And then I think people trulyunderestimate the blow to the ego and
(30:05):
the emotional reality that is experiencedwhen you have such an identity shift.
And so ladies and gentlemen, thatis the biggest, I want to say aha.
I've had in a long time frompeople about the succession
plan and how to deal with it.
It's very difficult.
I would also turn my audienceonto a Tony Robbins podcast.
(30:29):
Name of it is, this is Proof YourBeliefs, create Your Identity.
Dr.
Bruce Lipton, who goes into somedetail about how you look at life
and what life is about, and a very.
In a positive way, dense, but a lot ofinformation in there about how you look
at yourself, the stress, your, the wayyou walk through your life, and how it
(30:50):
could add difficulty to your physical,mental, and emotional wellbeing.
And it goes without saying, probablyeveryone knows this, but he talks about
it, how it impacts your chromosomes.
And I thought it was entirely fascinating.
Anyway, something tolisten to and then finally.
From an exit planningstandpoint, you're out the door.
How, what are the lessons as far asbeing able to take that on and accept
(31:15):
that, what I call the 35 year plan?
You need to redefine your purposefrom being so attached to business,
which is really common and it, theearlier you can do this, the better.
So like.
The 30 year olds, woo hoo.
Like, go for it.
Figure it out.
Now that your purpose is not, yourtitle, is not your role in your business.
(31:39):
That like, if you can live throughyour purpose being a fulfilling, fully
experienced life where you fully acceptyourself, like something more in that
vein that, that, like, it doesn't matterwhat you're doing, it doesn't matter.
What your bank account is, it doesn'tlike none, nothing else matters
(32:00):
because you're fully in your life.
But that's a real, that's, that'san, like if, if you'd told me
that 20 years ago, I would've beenlike, oh, I'm living that way.
Of course I am.
And that would've been a, a bs momentfor sure, for me in at least in
comparison to how I'm living now.
But there is something tobe learned for discovering.
(32:22):
Or realizing that you get to exist andhave a beautiful life no matter what.
And so the.
Sooner you can figurethat out, the better.
Because it's just, it's harder if you'rewaiting until those last handful of
years to figure it out, to learn that.
But that is where you, where a lot ofpeople these days are coming to realize
(32:45):
it or need to or, and it's important.
So I think that is really key becauseagain, if they're identifying by
the purpose of their business,it's gonna be a rough road.
And then in connectionwith that, it's like.
Keeping yourself aligned withstuff that lights you up.
So you're not doing for doing sake.
(33:06):
But hey, you, if you reallyenjoy golf, then you golf some.
Enough that fills you up andyou travel where you wanna
travel if you want to or not.
And you do the things thatmake that really do light you
up and you find enjoyment in.
And not just because some peoplesay this is what you're supposed
(33:27):
to be doing at at a certain age.
So there's a lot to be said for gettingto know yourself, fully accepting
yourself, and fully expressingyourself in a really authentic way.
And that's.
But those are really, I mean, when I hearmyself say that, it's like, it's kind of
like deep comments and or they can almostcome across sounding a little fluffy.
(33:52):
But that's where a lot of the reallyhard work is that I do with people
is coming to terms with all of that.
So it's.
It's really actually really hardwork, but, uh, it's easy to kind
of gloss over and have it sound abit like a little motivational pep
talk when it's, it's really not.
It's like the crux of life, in my opinion.
(34:15):
I. As my buddy Greg, Justin would saythere's two ways to get motivation.
One is external and one is internal,and you're trying to help build people
to get that internal, shall we say,grit and determination that allow them
to deal with the vagaries of life.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have dealtwith the three keys that I try to
(34:35):
populate my life now in dealing with,and that is the business continuity,
business succession, and exit planning.
Sherris hit all of them.
This is the first time inall my podcasts, Sherris.
I really appreciate youcoming on the podcast.
Let's talk about Sherris.
I've subscribed to her podcast.
I've subscribed to her blog.
(34:56):
I'm following her now.
How do people reach out and get to knowmore about you, the programs you offer?
Where do they go?
My podcast is same as my businessname, Charis Your Life, and like
you said before, easy way toremember how to pronounce and spell.
My name is Charis, like Paris,but with A-C-H-C-H-A-R-I-S.
(35:16):
So Charis Your Life is the podcast.
And my website is cherish yourlife.com, and I am on all the
socials at Cherish Your Life.
But here's an example ofpracticing what I preach.
So I, you know, go through spurts wheremaybe I'm not as active on social.
I actually have stayed off ofsocial as far as my own interaction
(35:40):
with it personally, I havefound that is super supportive.
For my mental state.
So I'm finding myself doing less onsocial business wise, but that's just
because I kind of, it's like, well, Idon't really even wanna be on there much
myself, and I would love for people tobe on there less so, you know, so if
(36:02):
you, depending on when you, when youcheck things out and what's going on
with me, you may not see a lot of recentstuff, but you can reach me that way.
But the better way to reachme is through my website.
And the podcast similarly, I wentreally methodical and diligent
with weekly episodes with avery rarely a skipped week.
(36:23):
And then I've loosened that up in thelast, you know, six to nine months or so.
And so, but it, it's still thereand I love it and there's a lot
of value and it's fantastic.
But I am.
Recovering workaholic and recoveringperfectionist and making sure that I
don't let the, that stuff overrun me.
(36:45):
What is most important to meprofessionally is my time with clients.
Most people come to me by referralsand everything else is beautiful.
When I have the capacity and energyand time for it, as long as it's not
taking from my clients and my familyand my personal health and wellbeing.
So I am really modeling.
(37:07):
A life that I am workingto help my clients live.
So I just wanted to explainsome of those things.
But what really lights me up is,is spending time on my coaching
calls and, and talking to new peoplewho wanna reach out and consider
having me support them one-on-one.
Excellent.
(37:28):
Thank you so much.
I appreciate you being here.
Very insightful.
I know everyone is going to gatherand gain and move themselves
forward from what you have had toshare with us today, so thank you.
Hey, thank you so much forlistening to my podcast.
If you're seeking assistancewith your business dreams, please
consider checking out the resources.
That I can make available to you ateither my LinkedIn page, obviously,
(37:53):
my podcast, my book, quiet Plans,exciting results available on Amazon,
either in a written or verbal format.
And as well, check out mywebsite, david cider.com.
A lot of content, a lotof information there.
And there's also a way for you to accessan assessment, a quick 16 question
survey that would allow us to gettogether and discuss where you're at.
(38:17):
And where you seek to go.
I'm here to help you with your dreams.
Until then, be safe.
This podcast is providedfor educational purposes.
It does not constitute legal adviceand is not intended to establish
an attorney-client relationship.
The recommendations contained in thepodcast are not necessarily appropriate
(38:40):
for every individual or business Indetermining the best course of action,
business owners should consult with anattorney on their distinct circumstances.
Show me the way.
Episode 67, the Owl Guidethrough Fearless Transitions.
So ladies and gentlemen, I think you'regonna really find some insight here.
I'm taking a different course ofaction or a different direction.
I've got Sheriff Santilli here today withme, and we're talking about the things
that really solidify what I'm trying tobring to the table for all individuals.
(00:23):
Business succession, business continuity,I. Exit plan, the whole package.
But what she's going to bring toyou is the emotional side, the
intellectual, the spiritual side.
And I do mean all three things thatI think are component parts with
what you are going through and we'llgo through in your business career.
(00:44):
I think you're going to beexcited at the end of this.
I think you're gonna be touched.
I think you're gonna be emotional.
I think you're gonnawalk away learning a ton.
Stay tuned.
(01:06):
Welcome to Show me theWay a podcast about.
Business succession planning,the merger and acquisition
experience in successful exits.
I continue to be your host.
Yes, I am Dave Cider.
I want to thank you forchecking out my podcast series.
Show me the way.
If you are seeking assistancewith your business dreams, please
consider checking out the resourcesthat I've made available to you at.
(01:30):
Either my LinkedIn website or my podcast.
Again, show me the way, or you cancheck out my book, quiet Plans and
Exciting Results available on Amazonin either written or audible format.
And as well my websites, davidcider.com, where I have quite a bit
of content for you to consider andinformation on how you can, for a very
(01:53):
nominal price, access and assessmentthat you and I can review together.
To discuss where you're at and whereyou want to go as far as your dreams
are concerned, and I would look forwardto talking to you about your future
kids.
Let me be really focused today.
I need to be especially focused.
(02:15):
Because this is going to be a very uniqueshow from the other shows we've done.
We're going to be getting into story time.
You know how I like to lay outscripts and have specific questions.
I'm gonna ask Sheriff Clia Sheriffs YourLife to share some of the stories where
she has helped individuals, some of theyounger business owners, older business
(02:35):
owners, and some that are retired, andhow she has helped them through those.
Very difficult circumstances.
I want you to check out her website.
I want you to listen to her podcastsbecause it's truly insightful.
I see it Shera as being so helpful topeople going through a sales process
and frankly, after the process somuch that I wanted her on this show.
(02:59):
It only took me five minutes tofigure that out when I met her.
Sheriffs.
Welcome to the show.
Thanks so much, Dave.
So let's talk a little bit, first ofall, let's get down to it, the Owl
Guide through Fearless Transitions.
Okay.
There's, there's a double entendrethere and I've never been able
to say that on any of my podcast.
I just wanna say it there.
So explain that one to mebecause you know, that was fun.
(03:23):
First of all, we just have to like, I feellike we need to clue in the audience just
how much fun we've been having behind thescenes in yes, getting this thing going,
some audio issues and a lot of fun voices.
I don't know, have you ever doneall the, does your audience know how
talented you are, Dave, with, with voice?
Im impersonations.
My firm's recommended that I not do itbecause there's multiple HR violations in.
(03:45):
Oh, yes.
I see.
I,
yes, I see that.
Well, let me just, I just want themto know that you have this like secret
talent and that if they ever, you know,are talking with you aside from this
podcast, they should ask you about it.
Thank you.
So that's, I'm, we're justgonna leave it there because
there's been a lot of laughter.
It's been very entertaining and,and you just must know, you must
know Dave has secret talents.
(04:06):
Okay.
So the owl, owl is significantin my world for a lot of reasons,
and there's an owl in my logo.
And my tagline is, I'll guide you.
Get it.
Ha ha.
You know, like, I'llguide you, I'll guide you.
Yeah.
Yep.
Tip
Your waiters will be here until Thursday.
Those at seven 11.
(04:26):
That's good.
I mean, it's good.
Come on.
That's good.
It's
really good.
Yeah.
So, so there's, and there's a lot ofspecial stuff in with, in my life around
owls, but for someone like me who isa coach and a guide helping people.
Navigate stuff in their life.
The owl is a great symbol for that.
It's often used in this way, inconnection with wisdom and guidance
(04:52):
and advisement and et cetera.
So there you go.
So that's the explanation for the owl.
So that's
the
short story
because there's an owl involvedthat takes me to, to a zoo or
you're a docent then of sorts.
When it's all said and done.
You guide people through.
Yeah.
Yeah, I, yeah, I really dothink of myself as a guide.
(05:12):
Because it's, it's nearly impossible todo this work, this inner work that I do
that they don't really know what I do yet.
But it's, this is inner work and it isnearly impossible to do it on your own.
So it really usually requires thehelp of somebody besides you to
help you see things you can't see.
(05:35):
Because of the way we live our livesand operate as humans and have these
beautiful brains that sometimes helpus and sometimes aren't so helpful.
So you have a beautiful name,speaking of beautiful things, and
that has a big bearing on your title.
In your basically your life,would you explain to them.
(05:57):
How do we say this?
First of all, let's talk about your nameand how that plays into your business.
Let's start there and then we'll gointo, let's go into your background.
Let's go into your experiencesand how you got on this trail of
being a guide for other people.
Okay, so yeah, my, my name, myparents chose it out of the nurse's
name book, actually it's Greek,and a definition of it is grace.
(06:19):
So it's, I actually years ago had someonetell me, it was actually when I was
in hosp, well, not, I was in hospice.
My mom was in hospice.
I was with her and the hospiceminister there, something new, my
name, and he said, you're a Grace gift.
(06:40):
And I thought, isn't that beautiful?
So, so I, I really love my name,especially in connection with what I
do, because I think I am a guide helpingpeople give themself, you know, grace
and that shows up in many different ways.
You don't have to be religiousor spiritual to have that
mean something for you.
It it in that regard.
(07:01):
It is a beautiful conceptregardless of what you believe in.
And so, so I really love thatin connection with my, my work
and then the fun play on words,you know, cherish your life.
It's, it's, it's really fun.
It's fun to be able to playon words with my name and.
So years ago when I was a kid, alot of people would play around with
(07:25):
it that remember the song by Cool.
Was it Cool in The GangCherish or Cherish the Love?
Right?
Something like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that popped in my head one daywhen I was making coffee as a.
Idea when I was thinking, whatdo I wanna call my business?
And then I was like, I should gothink about all the things that
(07:46):
people said as jokes to me when I wasa kid and the songs that were sung.
And that popped in my head and thenI thought, oh, I should play off
the con, the word cherish and seewhat phrases I can come up with.
So then there you go.
Cherish Your Life was Born.
I wrote it down on a post-itnote and here we are.
Nobody else has a fun name.
(08:08):
You're the first person in thepodcast with a fun name or a a, a
name that requires much explanation.
That's the first one.
And I know all the people listento podcasts will remember that.
Remember, it's cherish like Paris,so you can't ever forget it.
We're at the end of our podcast.
We're gonna talk about how theycan reach you, but now tell us
a little bit about yourself.
(08:28):
Where were you born?
Born in southeastern Washingtonstate, which is a desert.
Not what you think of when youthink of Washington for a lot of
people, but that's where I was born.
Been there.
I can confirm that.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Hannaford, I'm thinking about that.
So, yes.
Yes.
Hanford.
Yep.
Started there.
Yep.
I went to, I went to Richland High.
(08:50):
I was a Richland Bomber.
Yeah.
Let's just not, let's, we're notgonna go there, but that's the ma.
There's a whole story there,but we don't have time today, so
moving right along.
But other than that, this is Lincoln now.
Keep going.
Okay.
So you wind up going back east atsome point in your illustrious career?
(09:14):
Well, no, no.
South or along the coast?
California.
Well, no.
Let's see.
I met my husband at University ofPuget Sound in Tacoma, Washington.
And, and that's actually, so if we wannago, kind of go storyline of my, you
know, the little bit, the, the life storythat you were wanting me to get into.
So I went off to college, myparents were entrepreneurs.
(09:35):
They were Washington State, smallbusiness owners of the year.
They, they got all sorts of accolades.
Yeah, they had a gourmet pasta business.
It was really fun, junior high andhigh school to watch them build
that from scratch, like literally.
In the late eighties, earlynineties, go for achieve the American
dream, the hard work, the nights,the weekends, the whole thing.
(09:57):
So I, I grew up in that and then modeledafter them really fast to, you know,
be a high achiever myself and gotall the accolades I could in school.
Went off to college and came back.
One year in and, and for my dad's50th birthday, so I was about to
turn 19, he was turned 50 and wecelebrated with a hot air balloon ride.
(10:17):
And this should have been abeautiful, amazing experience.
Yet we had some seriouscomplications when we came into land.
And the short story is he endedup rolling out of the balloon
as we were hitting the ground.
He ended up with a brokenneck and was paralyzed.
(10:40):
We somehow got ourselves tothe ground, ran over to him.
I was completely hysterical.
He looks up at me, sees his little girland says, you should see the other guy.
He.
So this was a pivotal turning point inour life through everything upside down.
And I watched my parents in the aftermathof that end up losing their home and
(11:06):
their business along with dad's mobility.
And then my mom, I watchedher turn to alcohol to numb
her pain, which eventually.
As I alluded to a little bit earlierwith my comment that eventually took
her life in the sense of liver failure,and about 11 years ago, and I turned to
(11:30):
becoming a workaholic because that wasmuch easier than really facing what was
going on underneath the surface for me.
So a couple decades of that, butfortunately, along the way, a therapist
found me and a coach found me.
And then that got me into my path of allsorts of personal healing in different
(11:53):
ways and facing things that I had buriedand then got a lots shifted and sorted
and shifted in myself and then decided,Hey, I wanna do this to help others.
And I, I, first of all,thank you for sharing.
We, I asked her to share this with usbecause it's always, I think, significant
(12:17):
for people listening to podcasts toknow where people are coming from, the
base from which they grow in advancein their lives and how they involve.
That's painful.
I have not been through that.
I wanna thank you.
Chairs for sharing that, and I thinkit's meaningful for the listeners.
I think they'll be able to identifyeverybody is going through something.
(12:39):
Mm-hmm.
Dear God, I hope it's not what you'vehad to go through, but because of this,
and we're gonna get into this, you havebrought forth now some amazing talents
and amazing experiences through this.
Metamorphosis, if I may use that term.
Mm-hmm.
To where you're at now.
(13:00):
Let's talk about a couple of yourfavorite stories that you have
shared with me, because you've helpedpeople through dramatic situations.
You're uniquely qualified because you'vebeen through dramatic circumstances.
Let's talk about the young man whoselife you shared a little bit with
me, the 30-year-old, or some of thepeople you've dealt with in that arena.
(13:21):
Could you start with that please?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, so I was at an event talking tomost of my clients have tended to be men.
The women that I've helped, I wouldsay share in the quality of mine that
I had for a couple decades there ofmaybe having my go, go, go achiever.
(13:43):
Mm-hmm.
A little bit more masculineside of me, amped up the dial,
you know, was I amped up?
Turned up a little too high.
So I think that's one of thereasons I relate so well to men.
And so the women that I, that resonatewith me tend to be that kind of go-getter
type of hard charging female personality.
But me, most of my clients are, are men.
(14:04):
And I was speaking to a group andwide age, RA age range, but right
after I spoke, gentleman came up tome, he is in his early thirties and.
He was just like, oh my gosh, there'sso much of this like dude coaching
out there of this, go, go, go.
Achieve, achieve, achieve.
Mm-hmm.
You know, make the money, make themoney, go for the, and he is like, you
(14:27):
know, yes, I want to further my careerand I'm, and I want to make a lot of
money and have this really amazing life.
And I also am really aware that if I keep.
Going down the path that I'm feeling andlistening to a lot of the things that I'm
come feeling coming at me that I'm likegonna hate my life in a couple years.
(14:51):
And so I was like, wow,this is awesome that you're
realizing this in your thirties.
And he said, you know, Iwanna work with you, period.
Sold.
End of story.
Where do I sign up?
How does this go?
So, and then he's referred me otherpeople, and it's been fantastic,
including a friend of his.
Also in his thirties, and I'mjust like, this is so amazing.
(15:13):
If I think back, let's see, I would'vebeen late thirties when I met my coach,
and I would've had been doing therapyfor quite some time at that point.
But it just really impressed me thatthese guys are, I think you mentioned
the word to me earlier too, justhearing all that noise and that.
That push and that kind of thesociety just standard that's kind
(15:37):
of been there of just go, go, go.
Achieve, achieve, make money,make money, especially for men.
So really impressive to me, thehave that they recognized it and
that they wanna seek this help now.
And because what I do with them isemotional, like we're looking under
the hood, we're learning how theyoperate, and we're discovering how.
There's hidden fears that are runningtheir life because people don't
(16:00):
typically walk through life saying,well, I'm afraid and this is why I
didn't wanna send the text today.
Or, I got irritated when myso-and-so called me or whatever.
But the fact of the matter is we'vegot these unconscious fears literally
connected, like neuroscience wise.
There's a lot of, ofunderstanding I have of that.
The foundation of all of my coachingtraining is very brain science based.
(16:24):
There's literally.
Unconscious fears drivingour days and our actions.
And if we don't become aware of them,then we keep doing the things we're doing.
We keep reacting, we keep self-sabotaging.
Without realizing it, we becomeworkaholics or other sorts of
(16:45):
addictions and we miss out on a lot.
So, so there's a little bit about someof these guys in their thirties that I've
been helping and, and how they found me.
So to your point, that's what Ilike people to focus on, and I'm
talking about the sensitive sideof, of business continuity planning.
Continuity by definition mean how do Iextend elongate otherwise evolve so that I
(17:10):
can be in this business of this situation?
Wow, myself included.
You know, nobody teaches you howto run a business and you kind
of learn through trial and error.
And I, I've learned over time that if youmake your life bigger than your business,
then you have a chance to succeed.
But I think all males, me included,tend to look at business first
(17:33):
and life as a subset of that.
So.
Really insightful.
Share with me now, someone intheir, their fifties or sixties,
you had an example mm-hmm.
Going through a process and let'stalk about that for a moment.
Your insight would really be helpful.
Yeah.
A couple people coming to mind.
So one I've got in mind, he's about50 ish and really achieved a lot and.
(18:01):
A lot of wealth, a lot of amazing thingsthat has, that he's accomplished yet has
realized some of the relationships havebeen compromised along this journey.
So we're talking, you know, marriage,we're talking children, and while
there's nothing wrong with the wayhe's lived and he's happy about.
(18:25):
Achieving what he has,and that's all great.
He's realizing though that rightnow his top priority is his
family, which is requiring a shift.
He's not ready to retire, butit's definitely requiring a
shift in a lot of things and.
An understanding of himself, a shiftin priorities in like his actions,
(18:50):
what time he leaves work, if he takesdays off, how he engages with them.
To being able to set the work personaaside and connect with them in that
way that they, to show up to be the dadand the husband that they, that they
love and really enjoy being around.
(19:12):
And he is treasuring that.
But it was, you know, it wasdefinitely some personal issues
that came to the forefront.
And is a perfect example of the cl.You know, cliches are, cl are exist
for a reason 'cause they're true.
And so, you know, you really, the factmoney don't buy happiness is very much.
(19:32):
A true story that I'm seeing witha lot of people that I work with.
So that's one person coming to mind.
Another one he is in like late fifties,semi-retired in the sense that the
majority of the operations beinghandled by somebody else at this stage
and he's just kind of like on theoutskirts of the business and basically
(19:55):
can enjoy time however he likes and.
In either of his core two homes andout on his boat and all the things,
but was realizing he was facing thathe was feeling a lot of guilt for the
fact that he didn't really need to work.
Guilt for enjoying the time to go outfishing, you know, the these things
(20:17):
that he's worked to achieve is there.
But it's like, Ugh, doI get to enjoy this?
And so we worked on that togetherand helped him discover some things
about himself so that he couldenjoy his life at this stage now.
And so there's, there's a couple comingto mind that are in their fifties.
(20:41):
And so I look at this as thosedifficulties that typically come up
in the context of succession planningas you get older and trying to figure
out how can I move on, generallyspeaking with my life and what's next?
And then can we develop a little bitmore with that exit plan vis-a-vis
(21:02):
what it looks like after the fact, andhow you help people deal with that.
Well, I can think of someone right now whowas completing an exit, had a whole plan.
He did this, the, the true like ideal way.
Like if you can set out and plan to dothis work with Dave to plan ahead, you
(21:23):
know, this is the, the, the awesomescenario that made life for him in this.
Transition.
So smooth.
So I love to share him as a story becauseit's like he did a couple year phase down
of his, his work time, like phasing backhis days, transitioning to his son, the
business operations, and doing that wholetransition in a really beautiful way.
(21:49):
And then near the, in the, duringthe last year of his work engaged in,
he's a religious man, so he engagedin a. Like retirement group that's
connected with his church of peoplegoing through that transition from a
spiritual perspective that supported him.
And then he also engaged with me toguide him in my perspective and tools and
(22:13):
exercises and what we, what we do, andunderstanding what's going on again in
connection with these hidden fears and.
How he's the patternedbehaviors and thoughts he has
and how to shift all of that.
And a lot about communication too, so thathe'd be the best communicator possible.
As he was realizing he's spending moreand more time around his lovely wife and.
(22:38):
That was his, like, wow, I wanna makesure that I show up and can be the
best partner I can be, especiallyas we're about to be spending more
and more and more time together andlearning some communication tips.
He'd never, you know, he's someonecrossing over the 70-year-old thresh
hold and in this exit and this wholeprocess and in a generation that.
(23:03):
It wasn't really encouraged or highlyregarded to do any kind of emotional work.
Back in the day.
It's, that's changed inrecent years for sure.
And so it was really remarkableto, to work with him to go
through and learn about himself.
You know, he had, he'd had businesscoaches before, but he'd never
worked with anybody doing thereflective work that we were doing.
(23:27):
And it was really exciting to see.
It was really super fun too, where I'dgive him communication tips and then
he'd come back and you'd be like, oh my.
Gosh that worked.
He was like, I'm gonna do that again.
So that was a beautiful, beautifulexample that I love of an exit gone really
(23:47):
well and it a breeze into retirementdoing all the things he'd wanted to do,
taking care of his health and wellbeingin various ways, having a social life
with who he wanted to have it with.
Volunteer stuff like.
And rest, and just havingfun with his spouse and.
(24:08):
Kids and all the thingslike an ideal scenario.
It's a beautiful story andI'm, he's one of my, my great
examples of, of what's possible.
'cause it really can, it really is,is possible, but you gotta like,
you gotta put in the work and do theplanning if you want it to go that
smoothly, let's put it that way.
(24:29):
You know, to your point, uh, Ispoke to a bunch of business people
last year about this time lastyear in San Diego, and I call this.
Part of life, not retirement, but rewire.
Mm-hmm.
And I tried to trademark it, but toomany people have been out in front.
So a critical mass for anybody andeveryone, especially as I shared with the
(24:49):
audience, that I felt at this point inour civilization and specifically in this
country, everybody can live to a hundred.
With subject to some kindof catastrophic phenomenon.
Obviously the situations you know well,but well, let's try to put ourselves
in a position where we can achievethat goal and how are you going to
live it and oh yeah, you're gonna live,if you're 65 or another 35 years, you
(25:14):
better figure out about rewire it.
Let's do this.
I'm gonna take you back whatI call the business continuity
plan, the the 30-year-old.
What is the lesson to pass along topeople at that stage, thirties and forties
trying to figure out how they stay?
Same as they're going through the process.
(25:34):
What is the lesson?
Don't let the pattern really like takehold at that age of the work being
the end all, be all for your life.
That is the age where if you can,I hesitate to use the word balance
because it's, that's a really trickyconcept and I don't, so, but there
(25:54):
is a matter of, let's put it thisway, be aware of the seductiveness.
That exists in letting your work andyour external achievements become
the driving factor of your life.
That is a slippery slope and a sneakylittle way to avoid personal growth
(26:20):
and authenticity and connection.
Don't let it defineyourself for your existence.
Yep,
yep.
I get it.
Thank you.
It's, it's a easy one to let happen.
Don't we all know that?
That's business continuity for me.
Thank you.
Let's talk now about successionplanning, back slash exit planning.
(26:41):
What is the lesson?
I'm, I'm thinking about the people inthe sixties you've been talking about.
Mm-hmm.
What would that look like?
So that's if you can plan aheadso that you can phase back your
work life and have this be a. Truelonger term, multi-year transition.
(27:03):
Your whole nervous system and yourbrain can get on board with it.
It can be an easier thing to navigateversus just feeling like you've
fallen off the edge of a cliff.
If you just wanna go from, youknow, business owner and the top
dog who got the invitations to theimportant events and all the things.
(27:28):
Two, suddenly retired.
Not getting those.
Invites and those acknowledgements,like you were not getting the day-to-day
texts and emails and such from a team.
That is a, I'm thinking of somebodyelse I worked with that, that,
that really rocked his world andput him into a serious depression.
(27:49):
And it's very common.
I mean, I've even heard of, I, Iknow someone, a business broker
who had an experience with a clientthat committed suicide within a
year of, of a sudden retirement.
I mean, it is.
It can be a, it's a huge identityconnection for a lot of business
owners and entrepreneurs, especiallyif they've built the business.
Ground up and, and like I sawwith my mom, I mean, losing the
(28:12):
business was a final straw for her.
And for her is extremely personal.
And it was like, itreally was like her baby.
I mean, we, we talk about that andit, it, it's true for a lot of people.
Their business is like anotherchild and especially when they
create, create it from scratch.
And that is a very, also a verydangerous place to be because.
(28:35):
It's really hard to separate from it.
And so again, if you can plan for a longertransitional phase, ideally a number
of years, two, three years even, to dothis slower switcheroo, much easier.
Much easier to give yourself a runway tolike land the plane and take off again.
(28:57):
And ideally have those like overlapand also so that you don't feel guilty.
And can actually enjoy.
The things you want to enjoy.
But I think there's anotherlesson in there too, is don't
wait for all those things becauseso much can happen in your life.
(29:17):
You, you know, you are, even though weare living longer, it's easier to get
around and travel and do things whenyou have younger body and all that.
So that can be to your advantagein a lot of ways so that you don't.
You aren't looking to yourwork to fill everything.
So, so I think there's a handfulof lessons in there that I've
sort of covered, but the, the,the big one is allowing time.
(29:41):
It's gonna be mucheasier on you if you do.
It actually also is better forthe business value, as I know, I'm
sure you've talked about before.
You can, you can express moreto, to people and educate them on
that, but it, it, there's so muchbenefit to allowing that time.
And then I think people trulyunderestimate the blow to the ego and
(30:05):
the emotional reality that is experiencedwhen you have such an identity shift.
And so ladies and gentlemen, thatis the biggest, I want to say aha.
I've had in a long time frompeople about the succession
plan and how to deal with it.
It's very difficult.
I would also turn my audienceonto a Tony Robbins podcast.
(30:29):
Name of it is, this is Proof YourBeliefs, create Your Identity.
Dr.
Bruce Lipton, who goes into somedetail about how you look at life
and what life is about, and a very.
In a positive way, dense, but a lot ofinformation in there about how you look
at yourself, the stress, your, the wayyou walk through your life, and how it
(30:50):
could add difficulty to your physical,mental, and emotional wellbeing.
And it goes without saying, probablyeveryone knows this, but he talks about
it, how it impacts your chromosomes.
And I thought it was entirely fascinating.
Anyway, something tolisten to and then finally.
From an exit planningstandpoint, you're out the door.
How, what are the lessons as far asbeing able to take that on and accept
(31:15):
that, what I call the 35 year plan?
You need to redefine your purposefrom being so attached to business,
which is really common and it, theearlier you can do this, the better.
So like.
The 30 year olds, woo hoo.
Like, go for it.
Figure it out.
Now that your purpose is not, yourtitle, is not your role in your business.
(31:39):
That like, if you can live throughyour purpose being a fulfilling, fully
experienced life where you fully acceptyourself, like something more in that
vein that, that, like, it doesn't matterwhat you're doing, it doesn't matter.
What your bank account is, it doesn'tlike none, nothing else matters
(32:00):
because you're fully in your life.
But that's a real, that's, that'san, like if, if you'd told me
that 20 years ago, I would've beenlike, oh, I'm living that way.
Of course I am.
And that would've been a, a bs momentfor sure, for me in at least in
comparison to how I'm living now.
But there is something tobe learned for discovering.
(32:22):
Or realizing that you get to exist andhave a beautiful life no matter what.
And so the.
Sooner you can figurethat out, the better.
Because it's just, it's harder if you'rewaiting until those last handful of
years to figure it out, to learn that.
But that is where you, where a lot ofpeople these days are coming to realize
(32:45):
it or need to or, and it's important.
So I think that is really key becauseagain, if they're identifying by
the purpose of their business,it's gonna be a rough road.
And then in connectionwith that, it's like.
Keeping yourself aligned withstuff that lights you up.
So you're not doing for doing sake.
(33:06):
But hey, you, if you reallyenjoy golf, then you golf some.
Enough that fills you up andyou travel where you wanna
travel if you want to or not.
And you do the things thatmake that really do light you
up and you find enjoyment in.
And not just because some peoplesay this is what you're supposed
(33:27):
to be doing at at a certain age.
So there's a lot to be said for gettingto know yourself, fully accepting
yourself, and fully expressingyourself in a really authentic way.
And that's.
But those are really, I mean, when I hearmyself say that, it's like, it's kind of
like deep comments and or they can almostcome across sounding a little fluffy.
(33:52):
But that's where a lot of the reallyhard work is that I do with people
is coming to terms with all of that.
So it's.
It's really actually really hardwork, but, uh, it's easy to kind
of gloss over and have it sound abit like a little motivational pep
talk when it's, it's really not.
It's like the crux of life, in my opinion.
(34:15):
I. As my buddy Greg, Justin would saythere's two ways to get motivation.
One is external and one is internal,and you're trying to help build people
to get that internal, shall we say,grit and determination that allow them
to deal with the vagaries of life.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have dealtwith the three keys that I try to
(34:35):
populate my life now in dealing with,and that is the business continuity,
business succession, and exit planning.
Sherris hit all of them.
This is the first time inall my podcasts, Sherris.
I really appreciate youcoming on the podcast.
Let's talk about Sherris.
I've subscribed to her podcast.
I've subscribed to her blog.
(34:56):
I'm following her now.
How do people reach out and get to knowmore about you, the programs you offer?
Where do they go?
My podcast is same as my businessname, Charis Your Life, and like
you said before, easy way toremember how to pronounce and spell.
My name is Charis, like Paris,but with A-C-H-C-H-A-R-I-S.
(35:16):
So Charis Your Life is the podcast.
And my website is cherish yourlife.com, and I am on all the
socials at Cherish Your Life.
But here's an example ofpracticing what I preach.
So I, you know, go through spurts wheremaybe I'm not as active on social.
I actually have stayed off ofsocial as far as my own interaction
(35:40):
with it personally, I havefound that is super supportive.
For my mental state.
So I'm finding myself doing less onsocial business wise, but that's just
because I kind of, it's like, well, Idon't really even wanna be on there much
myself, and I would love for people tobe on there less so, you know, so if
(36:02):
you, depending on when you, when youcheck things out and what's going on
with me, you may not see a lot of recentstuff, but you can reach me that way.
But the better way to reachme is through my website.
And the podcast similarly, I wentreally methodical and diligent
with weekly episodes with avery rarely a skipped week.
(36:23):
And then I've loosened that up in thelast, you know, six to nine months or so.
And so, but it, it's still thereand I love it and there's a lot
of value and it's fantastic.
But I am.
Recovering workaholic and recoveringperfectionist and making sure that I
don't let the, that stuff overrun me.
(36:45):
What is most important to meprofessionally is my time with clients.
Most people come to me by referralsand everything else is beautiful.
When I have the capacity and energyand time for it, as long as it's not
taking from my clients and my familyand my personal health and wellbeing.
So I am really modeling.
(37:07):
A life that I am workingto help my clients live.
So I just wanted to explainsome of those things.
But what really lights me up is,is spending time on my coaching
calls and, and talking to new peoplewho wanna reach out and consider
having me support them one-on-one.
Excellent.
(37:28):
Thank you so much.
I appreciate you being here.
Very insightful.
I know everyone is going to gatherand gain and move themselves
forward from what you have had toshare with us today, so thank you.
Hey, thank you so much forlistening to my podcast.
If you're seeking assistancewith your business dreams, please
consider checking out the resources.
That I can make available to you ateither my LinkedIn page, obviously,
(37:53):
my podcast, my book, quiet Plans,exciting results available on Amazon,
either in a written or verbal format.
And as well, check out mywebsite, david cider.com.
A lot of content, a lotof information there.
And there's also a way for you to accessan assessment, a quick 16 question
survey that would allow us to gettogether and discuss where you're at.
(38:17):
And where you seek to go.
I'm here to help you with your dreams.
Until then, be safe.
This podcast is providedfor educational purposes.
It does not constitute legal adviceand is not intended to establish
an attorney-client relationship.
The recommendations contained in thepodcast are not necessarily appropriate
(38:40):
for every individual or business Indetermining the best course of action,
business owners should consult with anattorney on their distinct circumstances.
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