We tackle the issue of countering toxicity. The focus is on being "Defiant Giants." You must stand strong against toxic people who may be actively tearing you down, or simply indifferent. To avoid falling prey to negativity, Tom Marcoux and Johanna E. discuss the need to establish a supportive and encouraging community around you.
*** At Redbubble.com see our “We Are Defiant Giants” t-shirts and more. Plus “Defiant Giant” products. ***
Johanna shares a personal experience where a close friend ghosted her. Tom and Johanna stress the importance of developing a tribe or community that celebrates each other's successes.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Succeed Even If. I'm Tom R.
Kuh, the communications sage and spoken word strategist. And I'm Johanna.
In this episode, we're talking about we are defiant giants.
Now, the idea here is this. Perhaps in your life, there's some toxic people.
Perhaps they might even be a family member, for example, and they're tearing
(00:22):
you down. They're active.
They're tearing you down. Other people just don't care.
So they're tearing you down, but they're not doing it in an active way.
So what you've got to be is defiant. You've got to push back against all this
toxicity so that you can get things done and feel good about yourself and make
(00:42):
a contribution to humankind.
Now, Joanna, when have you felt that someone was trying to tear you down? I thought I had a friend.
We were having a conversation about a particular subject, and apparently she
didn't like that subject.
And later, she just ghosted me.
Oh, wow. That's intense. And this was someone you thought was a good friend?
(01:05):
Yes, I thought we were pretty close.
So that breaks your heart? It really hurt. Right. So here's the thing.
At any time, someone in your circle can ghost you, step on you, step on your dreams.
And what you have to have is a community, a tribe.
And one of the things that we discover, and this is mentioned by a number of
(01:26):
speakers and authors and even researchers, you really know who your friends
are if they can celebrate with you. Yes.
Because a lot of people, either they're jealous or they don't relate or they
want to actively step on other people's heads. These are the narcissists.
They cannot celebrate with someone else. They can't celebrate someone else's
(01:48):
opportunity or success or rising up from a dark place. They can't celebrate.
Our focus in this conversation is we are defiant giants.
And when I say giant, I mean our spirit, our soul is giant.
And we are defiant against all the people, whether they are active toxic people
(02:09):
or they are just I don't care kind of people who don't show even just a little
bit of courtesy or being polite. They can't even show that.
They're all wrapped in their own thing. And it's amazing.
I've been in situations where so many toxic people are there that once in a
while, someone will say, oh, take your time. And that's like a light.
(02:34):
Clouds have parted and light has come down just for a phrase, oh, take your time.
In fact, what I would do is I would praise the person. I would say,
oh, thank you for bringing great energy into this place.
Here's the focus. It's about we are
defiant giants. It's about we creating community or we creating a tribe.
(02:58):
And our word is we in the first letter stands for wake up value.
If you want to create a community and you want to be a part of a circle of people
who are encouraging each other, celebrating each each other's victories,
celebrating each other's blessings.
Then you need to wake up value. That is, you need to bring value to other people.
(03:18):
At one point on this very podcast, we had a guest, Bob Berg,
and he is extraordinary.
He has a best selling series called the Go-Giver Series, which he co-authored.
And he joined our podcast.
Now, how do you get someone to join you when you offer value?
Obviously, he wanted to reach our listeners. And so he agreed to be interviewed
(03:40):
and oh, it was just one of the beautiful, powerful opportunities to learn so much from a master.
And it's about wake-up value. I'm so excited about that interview with Bob Berg
that it's in my new book, The Power of Your Money Game.
Use gamification and game thinking to gain wealth and elevate your influence.
(04:01):
Now, this book is available, of course, on Amazon and also on audible.com.
Our word is we, and the first letter stands for wake up value.
You create a podcast, you get an audience, and then people who have influence
want to promote their stuff.
So you offer them value. You don't go to them and say, oh, please give me something.
(04:22):
No, you offer them value. If you can support someone who is really at the top
of their game by helping them promote what they're interested in,
that's value, and you can create a community that way.
It's interesting. is kind of like, it depends on how you word it.
In terms of, hi, would you like to be on my podcast and reach my audience?
(04:44):
That's a way of offering value. Yes, versus, oh, come talk to my people because
I need somebody to speak. Well, yeah, that's just.
Kind of being selfish. It's like saying, I don't know you, help me.
Yes. As opposed to, hey, I'd like to offer you this opportunity.
Now, over the years, and I've written 54 books, many of those books have guest
(05:05):
authors. Some of them are top people like Guy Kawasaki.
He has a guest article in a couple of my books. And the thing is,
he's at the top of his game.
In fact, he's someone who said to me, I'm one of the few people who worked with
Steve Jobs twice and survived. thrive.
That's a very big feat. In a very small group.
(05:25):
By offering them the value of reaching more people by having guest articles
in my books, it's all good because we wake up value.
Value for that other person and you create your community.
E of we is encourage.
Now, a lot of times people talk about that encourage, that word has the word courage in it.
And we all could use some courage so that we can elevate. One of my favorite words is elevation.
(05:52):
In fact, we offer with our online
courses, a certificate, Mastery of Influence, Impact, and Elevation.
And so when you go to getthebigyes.com forward slash best, that's B-E-S-T.
Once again, getthebigyes.com forward slash best.
(06:12):
When you go there, you get access to my various courses and these courses help
you develop confidence, handle toxic people, learn how to protect yourself from
the darkest secrets of persuasion and seduction masters.
All of these things, when you learn this, you are able to elevate what you do. And that's wonderful.
(06:32):
As you can hear, my style is to encourage you.
Sounds like those are very elevating courses. Excellent. Well said.
Now, here's a concept. Many times in life, life gets so tough that really maybe
one person can't carry it.
But I was talking with someone in my circle, and this idea arose.
(06:53):
We can carry it with the community. Yes.
So the individual may not be able to carry it. If you're going through a tough
time, for example, at one point, I had to clear out the apartment that my parents
used to live in, and they had hoarded for 30 years. Oh, my God.
So I needed a team, and a couple of my friends joined me, and we could go through
the material in that apartment and save the precious things.
(07:15):
And then it took a team of six young men to empty that space for nine hours
with four trucks. Oh, my goodness.
So one human being can't carry it, but we can carry it with the community.
So now let's pull this all together. We are defiant giants.
(07:36):
We defy those people who want to actively step on our heads.
We defy those people who don't care and won't listen to us.
We defy those people who don't get it,
that it's wonderful to live a life of elevation and making a contribution to
humankind and to be excited about what you can do to help humankind move forward.
(08:00):
We defy that. We are defiant giants.
We is our word. W is for wake up value. E is for encourage.
And now, Joanna, I'm curious, what are you going to keep from this conversation?
I'm going to keep that it's important on how you word things,
that you're not sounding like
you're selfish, and you're not asking for stuff. You're offering value.
(08:22):
Excellent. That's the W of we. Wake up value. Wake up the value in yourself.
Find out what you can do. Now, here's one thing that you can do a lot,
and it doesn't take extra education.
You could learn to listen to people. Ask them questions. Hey,
how's your cat Fluffy doing after that surgery?
Talk about things that they are interested in. Ask them about things that they're
(08:43):
interested in. And that's what's going to be offering value.
So you can listen. As an introvert, especially in my younger years,
I didn't know what to do with parties.
Then I learned if I would ask questions, I would listen and I would ask follow-up
questions, the other person would have a great time.
Later on, I developed a phrase, when you're listening, you're winning.
(09:03):
So thank you so much for listening to this message. and also realize that you
can get more from us in terms of, I've got 54 books on Amazon,
all about different things like convince investors to fund you and confidence
and even how to write, how to release clutter, how to enlarge your life.
All these different books are on Amazon. My name is Tom Marcoux.
(09:27):
That's M-A-R-C-O-U-X.
And on Audible, I got 33 books on audible.com. And so we'd love to continue to support you.
We, of course, have the online courses at getthebigyes.com forward slash best.
And by the way, the best to you. Catch you next time.
Welcome to Succeed Even If. I'm Tom R.
Kuh, the communications sage and spoken word strategist. And I'm Johanna.
In this episode, we're talking about we are defiant giants.
Now, the idea here is this. Perhaps in your life, there's some toxic people.
Perhaps they might even be a family member, for example, and they're tearing
(00:22):
you down. They're active.
They're tearing you down. Other people just don't care.
So they're tearing you down, but they're not doing it in an active way.
So what you've got to be is defiant. You've got to push back against all this
toxicity so that you can get things done and feel good about yourself and make
(00:42):
a contribution to humankind.
Now, Joanna, when have you felt that someone was trying to tear you down? I thought I had a friend.
We were having a conversation about a particular subject, and apparently she
didn't like that subject.
And later, she just ghosted me.
Oh, wow. That's intense. And this was someone you thought was a good friend?
(01:05):
Yes, I thought we were pretty close.
So that breaks your heart? It really hurt. Right. So here's the thing.
At any time, someone in your circle can ghost you, step on you, step on your dreams.
And what you have to have is a community, a tribe.
And one of the things that we discover, and this is mentioned by a number of
(01:26):
speakers and authors and even researchers, you really know who your friends
are if they can celebrate with you. Yes.
Because a lot of people, either they're jealous or they don't relate or they
want to actively step on other people's heads. These are the narcissists.
They cannot celebrate with someone else. They can't celebrate someone else's
(01:48):
opportunity or success or rising up from a dark place. They can't celebrate.
Our focus in this conversation is we are defiant giants.
And when I say giant, I mean our spirit, our soul is giant.
And we are defiant against all the people, whether they are active toxic people
(02:09):
or they are just I don't care kind of people who don't show even just a little
bit of courtesy or being polite. They can't even show that.
They're all wrapped in their own thing. And it's amazing.
I've been in situations where so many toxic people are there that once in a
while, someone will say, oh, take your time. And that's like a light.
(02:34):
Clouds have parted and light has come down just for a phrase, oh, take your time.
In fact, what I would do is I would praise the person. I would say,
oh, thank you for bringing great energy into this place.
Here's the focus. It's about we are
defiant giants. It's about we creating community or we creating a tribe.
(02:58):
And our word is we in the first letter stands for wake up value.
If you want to create a community and you want to be a part of a circle of people
who are encouraging each other, celebrating each each other's victories,
celebrating each other's blessings.
Then you need to wake up value. That is, you need to bring value to other people.
(03:18):
At one point on this very podcast, we had a guest, Bob Berg,
and he is extraordinary.
He has a best selling series called the Go-Giver Series, which he co-authored.
And he joined our podcast.
Now, how do you get someone to join you when you offer value?
Obviously, he wanted to reach our listeners. And so he agreed to be interviewed
(03:40):
and oh, it was just one of the beautiful, powerful opportunities to learn so much from a master.
And it's about wake-up value. I'm so excited about that interview with Bob Berg
that it's in my new book, The Power of Your Money Game.
Use gamification and game thinking to gain wealth and elevate your influence.
(04:01):
Now, this book is available, of course, on Amazon and also on audible.com.
Our word is we, and the first letter stands for wake up value.
You create a podcast, you get an audience, and then people who have influence
want to promote their stuff.
So you offer them value. You don't go to them and say, oh, please give me something.
(04:22):
No, you offer them value. If you can support someone who is really at the top
of their game by helping them promote what they're interested in,
that's value, and you can create a community that way.
It's interesting. is kind of like, it depends on how you word it.
In terms of, hi, would you like to be on my podcast and reach my audience?
(04:44):
That's a way of offering value. Yes, versus, oh, come talk to my people because
I need somebody to speak. Well, yeah, that's just.
Kind of being selfish. It's like saying, I don't know you, help me.
Yes. As opposed to, hey, I'd like to offer you this opportunity.
Now, over the years, and I've written 54 books, many of those books have guest
(05:05):
authors. Some of them are top people like Guy Kawasaki.
He has a guest article in a couple of my books. And the thing is,
he's at the top of his game.
In fact, he's someone who said to me, I'm one of the few people who worked with
Steve Jobs twice and survived. thrive.
That's a very big feat. In a very small group.
(05:25):
By offering them the value of reaching more people by having guest articles
in my books, it's all good because we wake up value.
Value for that other person and you create your community.
E of we is encourage.
Now, a lot of times people talk about that encourage, that word has the word courage in it.
And we all could use some courage so that we can elevate. One of my favorite words is elevation.
(05:52):
In fact, we offer with our online
courses, a certificate, Mastery of Influence, Impact, and Elevation.
And so when you go to getthebigyes.com forward slash best, that's B-E-S-T.
Once again, getthebigyes.com forward slash best.
(06:12):
When you go there, you get access to my various courses and these courses help
you develop confidence, handle toxic people, learn how to protect yourself from
the darkest secrets of persuasion and seduction masters.
All of these things, when you learn this, you are able to elevate what you do. And that's wonderful.
(06:32):
As you can hear, my style is to encourage you.
Sounds like those are very elevating courses. Excellent. Well said.
Now, here's a concept. Many times in life, life gets so tough that really maybe
one person can't carry it.
But I was talking with someone in my circle, and this idea arose.
(06:53):
We can carry it with the community. Yes.
So the individual may not be able to carry it. If you're going through a tough
time, for example, at one point, I had to clear out the apartment that my parents
used to live in, and they had hoarded for 30 years. Oh, my God.
So I needed a team, and a couple of my friends joined me, and we could go through
the material in that apartment and save the precious things.
(07:15):
And then it took a team of six young men to empty that space for nine hours
with four trucks. Oh, my goodness.
So one human being can't carry it, but we can carry it with the community.
So now let's pull this all together. We are defiant giants.
(07:36):
We defy those people who want to actively step on our heads.
We defy those people who don't care and won't listen to us.
We defy those people who don't get it,
that it's wonderful to live a life of elevation and making a contribution to
humankind and to be excited about what you can do to help humankind move forward.
(08:00):
We defy that. We are defiant giants.
We is our word. W is for wake up value. E is for encourage.
And now, Joanna, I'm curious, what are you going to keep from this conversation?
I'm going to keep that it's important on how you word things,
that you're not sounding like
you're selfish, and you're not asking for stuff. You're offering value.
(08:22):
Excellent. That's the W of we. Wake up value. Wake up the value in yourself.
Find out what you can do. Now, here's one thing that you can do a lot,
and it doesn't take extra education.
You could learn to listen to people. Ask them questions. Hey,
how's your cat Fluffy doing after that surgery?
Talk about things that they are interested in. Ask them about things that they're
(08:43):
interested in. And that's what's going to be offering value.
So you can listen. As an introvert, especially in my younger years,
I didn't know what to do with parties.
Then I learned if I would ask questions, I would listen and I would ask follow-up
questions, the other person would have a great time.
Later on, I developed a phrase, when you're listening, you're winning.
(09:03):
So thank you so much for listening to this message. and also realize that you
can get more from us in terms of, I've got 54 books on Amazon,
all about different things like convince investors to fund you and confidence
and even how to write, how to release clutter, how to enlarge your life.
All these different books are on Amazon. My name is Tom Marcoux.
(09:27):
That's M-A-R-C-O-U-X.
And on Audible, I got 33 books on audible.com. And so we'd love to continue to support you.
We, of course, have the online courses at getthebigyes.com forward slash best.
And by the way, the best to you. Catch you next time.
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