September 25, 2023 • 34 mins
Ever been crushed by a breakup and wondered if the pain would ever end? Well, our guest today, Lydia, a renowned dating and breakup coach, believes that breakups can be a transformative journey. She walks us through that rollercoaster of raw vulnerability, loneliness, and grief, but not without shedding light on the resilience and self-discovery that can rise from the ashes of heartbreak. Buckle up as we dive deep into the emotional turmoil of breakups, offering a comforting presence during these challenging times.
Learn more about Lydia here and access her free tapping guide here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Balance and Bliss podcast.
I'm your host, andrea Mondu, athree-time published author,
speaker and a lifestyletransformation coach who
believes everyone should begiven the gift of knowing how to
live their lives, feelinghealthy and empowered.
Things like moving your bodyregularly and feeling it well,
taking care of your mind,setting boundaries, practicing
(00:23):
self and body, acceptance,personal growth, manifestation
and everything in between.
Wellness is not linear and it'snot just one thing.
It expands into so many areasand on this show we're going to
talk about just that.
We're all striving to live alittle more healthy and a little
more well, but what does thateven mean?
(00:43):
My goal is to help you see thatyou can move from the mundane
to the magic when it comes toliving aligned and fulfilled,
and by tuning in each week youcan be assured you'll leave with
nuggets of wisdom that you canimplement into your day to day,
like right now, to help youmaximize your health, wellness
(01:04):
and your life.
Now let's dive in.
Hey everybody, welcome back toanother episode.
Today's going to be a good onebecause what we're going to be
chatting about today is, I think, a human experience.
Not, I think, I know, it's ahuman experience that every
single person goes through andit's painful and it can feel
(01:28):
really raw and make you feel ina really vulnerable state, but
it is very much a common humanemotion.
So I'm here today to talk aboutbreakups and healing from
breakups and all of that goodstuff with my guests.
So I'm joined by Lydia todayand she's making this like a
(01:48):
beautiful smile that you can'tsee, but I saw it, so that was
great.
So why don't you tell everybodya little bit about the work
that you do?
Because I, when you reach outto me, I'm like a breakup coach.
It's something that we all gothrough, but like I've never
heard of there being asupportive person that can kind
of help you through that.
(02:09):
So why don't you tell everybodya little bit about who you are?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Absolutely Well.
Thank you so much, andrea, forthat introduction, and likewise,
you have a beautiful smile andenergy that I just feel
radiating across the screenright now.
So that's such a gift.
And yeah, I am a dating andbreakup coach and it is my
mission to help people heal fromheartbreak and overcome dating
(02:34):
stuff back so they can reclaimtheir power, fall in love with
themselves and attract the loveand life that they truly desire.
And breakup coach isencapsulates kind of the whole
spectrum of heartbreak.
Right, it's not just, oh, youwere in a relationship with
somebody for two, three yearsand then you broke up, which is,
(02:55):
of course, its own kind of pain.
It can also be a situation shipbreakup.
It can also be heartbreak oversomething that you really wanted
to happen.
A lot of times we start to datesomebody and see it going
somewhere, and you might havenot even entered into a
relationship with one person,but maybe you just weren't on
the same page anymore, andthere's heartbreak in that too.
(03:19):
And heartbreak in marriage,heartbreak in friendships to.
That's something I'm startingto talk about a little bit more
in the workshops that I do.
So I run group workshops acrossVancouver and soon to be
Victoria.
I would love to go moreinternational as well, and
that's really a time for peopleto gather in community, because
oftentimes during heartbreak,what I'm trying to change is the
(03:41):
feeling of loneliness thatcomes after, the feeling of like
, is anybody else going throughthis right now?
Like you're walking down thestreet and if you do get up out
of bed that day and I'm the onlyone in a supper bubble right
now, even if you have reallygood people in your life and
really good friends, after awhile you might feel like you're
so complaining about it, and soI like to offer, like a very
(04:05):
judgment, free, loving space forpeople in my workshops and, of
course, I work with people oneto one and that's a more
immersive, intimate container.
But basically, I just fullybelieve that heartbreak and
breakups are one of the mostprofoundly transformative
experiences that we go throughand really a way that we meet
(04:26):
ourselves, learn about ourselvesand, if we take the medicine of
that heartbreak, turn into thenext best version of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Whoa, okay, you have said like so many incredible
things.
First of all, shout out tofellow Canadian Love that.
But you're, like you're soright in saying that.
There's a couple things that Iwanted to kind of touch on.
The first is that every singleperson who kind of goes through
(04:56):
this Oftentimes we have thismoment of like is it me, what
could I have done differently?
And we start to like takeinventory on ourselves and how
we showed up in thatrelationship or situation and
think about, like you know, whatcould I potentially do
different next time?
Or you know, maybe, how could Ihave kind of fixed the thing
(05:18):
that we're, that we're breakingup from?
But then the other thing thatyou said that was really that I
really liked is that and I got,I guess I kind of like compare
it to like grieving almost whereit's like you experience a loss
and then everybody's around youand they're like I'm so sorry
that you're going through this.
They're really looking for waysthat they can kind of support
you and then it gets to acertain point where that support
(05:40):
dwindles away but you're stillvery much feeling the feelings
of that loss because you arelike grieving.
You know what you thought itcould be losing that, that
relationship and also thatfriendship.
Like you said, I know myselfpersonally like there have been
a few friendships in my lifewhere I was hurt and I knew that
(06:04):
it was the best thing for me tosever those ties or to just not
really communicate with thatperson or those people anymore.
And you're still like more.
You always think about the goodtimes right and the and the
feelings that felt good, aboutthose experiences and you feel
sad about those and that doesn'tgo away and you still keep
(06:24):
feeling those.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Absolutely yeah.
It's a nuanced moment becauseyou definitely come out of a
breakup and sometimes you gointo a movie mode in your mind
where you are replaying all ofthe amazing things all of a
sudden, especially if it's abreakup that happened because of
something that was unhealthyand toxic, and so you start to
(06:46):
think, oh, but maybe there wassomething good about this
relationship and I speak fromexperience.
This is what happened with mybreakup that launched me into
this business.
It was a very unhealthy, toxicrelationship and as soon as I
walked away from that which isone of the hardest and best
decisions I've ever done Istarted to think about all the
(07:09):
beautiful things about him and Ithink these two things can
coexist in a way.
But I think it's a complex thingto navigate when you're one,
trying to move on because youclearly broke up, for a reason
for it to get to that point, buttwo, you still, yeah, like that
person was a part of your lifeand they're still existing in
the world, and that's wherethat's really hard to reconcile
(07:31):
with the grief of losingsomebody to death.
But the fact is the brainactually doesn't know the
difference.
If it's death or just like aloss of a breakup, we process it
very similarly in our body andin our brain and at the Amadilla
.
Literally it feels like athreat to your survival when you
lose somebody to a breakup ordeath, and so I just want to
(07:53):
validate that pain right afterand that like that anxiety.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That makes total sense to me, because you're
still like having to figure outhow your life is going to look
without that person.
And then you add in like anextra complex layer.
I know two people who are goingthrough a separation right now,
breakup where they both stillfeel such deep love for each
other but you know needs aren'tbeing met and it's not going in
(08:22):
the direction that they hadhoped.
I can't imagine how that wouldfeel.
Right, my breakup before myhusband, which was like 18 years
ago well, more than that.
Anyway, that guy was a dick.
Quite frankly, I was going tosay he was a douchebag.
He was that too, and so, likeit made sense Eventually.
I still felt a lot of feelingsaround that, but, like I can
(08:44):
imagine, you know it's so multilayered.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, absolutely yeah .
Oh, that's so painful when youstill have love for that person,
but you've both reconciled thefact that, like yeah, it's not
going in the way that you wantto.
That's, that's extremely hard,but one of the things that I
want to note about that is thatwe have so many potential people
that we can be compatible withand have good chemistry with,
(09:08):
and that's usually a reallycommon fear that keeps us longer
in those relationships is like,oh, I thought I think this is
it, or I thought this was thebest I could have.
Whereas there's so muchpotential for people that we can
connect with and in fact, Iwant to say like if you felt
that depth of love andconnection and chemistry and
(09:29):
compatibility, you were half ofthat equation.
Like you brought a part of thattoo, and so you can bring that
to a fresh relationship thatmeets you where you are and is
aligned with your vision andvalues and where you want to go.
And, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, I love that so much because that like kind of
just tweaked my brain or whatyou said earlier, that like when
you go through a breakup, it'slike an opera.
It really is like anopportunity for transformation
and almost like not I mean,reinvention is the word that's
coming to mind for me right nowbut it like you go through this
(10:06):
transformation, you are.
You will never be the sameperson because you're now
carrying all of that with yougoing forward.
Okay, tell me about like some,some of the clients that you've
worked with, or even your ownexperience, whatever you want to
share, just about that liketransforming and using the
heartbreak to to grow from it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely so.
I want to first share, like, mystory, really, because that's
where it all started, and Ithought the relationship, my
most previous relationship, wasmy person.
I believed that and actuallyI'm talking to you at a really
interesting moment, because webroke up almost exactly a year
(10:47):
ago today and I was reflectingon it and writing an email to my
email list and thinking, oh, mygoodness, yeah, it's almost it
was like September 4th or 5thlast year and to see how much
has changed in a year, evenbecause of two things because I
have been very intentional withmy healing and reinventing
(11:10):
myself and I've also asked forhelp and asked for support.
And I think those are whatdifferentiates people who stay
really stuck in their heartbreakand it's valid to feel stuck
versus the people who go throughthat period of mourning and
loss and then decide to dosomething with it, decide to
optimize it into thatreinvention and into becoming
(11:32):
the next best version ofyourself.
And that's exactly what I didLike I'll be honest, though,
like those first several monthsafter, I was not doing that.
I just let myself feel, I justlet myself mourn and process and
cry and scream.
I was angry.
Anger is a huge emotion thatcomes after a breakup and that
was really uncomfortable for me,but I needed to really feel
(11:55):
that way.
I needed to feel anger about myex because of the way he
treated me, and that didn't meanI was calling him or texting
him like how dare you do this?
No, like this is something youneed to do with yourself.
Whatever that looks like foryou, like some ways that I would
suggest is getting intobreathwork and that really can
help you start to let go orrelease those emotions.
(12:16):
I journal a lot and so I wouldwrite angry letters not sending
them, but I would just likewrite and release and then,
after I just felt this weightlifted off my shoulders and I
kept doing that.
So it's not just like a one anddone.
Sometimes you have to do thesepractices over and over again.
I spoke to friends, I investedin coaching, all of these things
(12:38):
, and then the process ofreinventing yourself starts when
you realize you just wantsomething different, you want
something better, you'restarting to pry a little less,
you're still feeling emotional,but you just want, you see, some
hope.
And that's what I want to offerpeople that I work with and
what I offer people in myworkshops and one to one is just
(12:58):
a planting of hope.
That doesn't always feel veryapparent right at the beginning.
But if you have a little bit ofhope and something that you're
living for, it's quite easy tothen take the next steps, and
really it's just one step at atime.
So first you know that can looklike investing in your goals
and your pursuits, and for me itwas starting this business.
(13:22):
Diving deeper into hobbies Isigned up for a new dance class.
I'm already a Latin dancer, butI started taking like partner
Kisomba classes and sometimesthat newness of trying something
new develops your confidence.
I started meeting new friendsand like kind of doing things
that I never felt that my exreally appreciated about me or
like understood, and I claimedthat back right.
(13:45):
And so if you can kind of dothat, then that's when you start
to really reinvent yourself.
And with my clients, often thepeople that I attract I mean in
the workshops usually they'vegone through like a really fresh
heartbreak and they're justlooking for some light at the
end of the tunnel.
They're just looking to feel alittle less anxious, a little
less stressed and more in tunewith themselves.
(14:07):
But often the people that I workwith one to one are people that
have just kind of experienced alot of the same patterns over
and over again in their datinglife, or they've just
experienced a lot of likeheartbreak after heartbreak, and
they've felt a lot of anxietyor avoidance, like this weekend
at two attachment styles.
That's a whole other, but thatoften leads to heartbreak too.
(14:31):
So really it's about actuallyrewiring a lot of your beliefs
about love and relationships.
And if you are experiencinglike a lot of these common
patterns, or even after anintense breakup, like I didn't
think I would, I was the type ofperson to attract somebody who
was violent and toxic andunhealthy, and so that made me
(14:52):
realize, oh, I need to look moreat myself here and not put so
much of the blame also on myacts, like I let myself feel the
anger.
But part of reinventing istaking responsibility for
ourselves as well and takingresponsibility for our own
healing and how we can make surethat nothing is 100% guaranteed
but that we can like try toprevent something similar from
(15:15):
happening in the future.
And that starts with oursubconscious beliefs at the core
, which take like deep innerwork and reflection, and that's
really what's going to transformyour identity and who you step
into.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
So what you're talking about right now just
reminded me of Mel Robbins.
I listened to a podcast episodeof hers recently and she had a
doctor on there who specificallyworks with people around their
attachment styles and how, basedon what their attachment styles
are, the type of partners thatthey attract and then the type
of parents that they become.
(15:49):
And they this.
This doctor I forget what hername is was talking about how,
like, if we find ourselves inthese patterns of being in
relationships with similarpeople, it can be helpful for us
again and this is not like toface blame on the individual
themselves, but it can behelpful for the individual to
(16:09):
like think about theirsubconscious beliefs, about
relationships, about what wasmodeled for them when they were
growing up and all that kind ofstuff, and how all of these
things can actually impact thetype of person that we, that we
attract.
It's so fascinating because,like, we're experiencing our
life in the present but we don't, we forget and maybe we don't
(16:33):
realize that, like a lot of ourpresent experiences come from
these like subconscious thingsthat we don't even realize,
stuff we haven't healed, likeall of it right.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Absolutely yeah.
So it's really interesting tosee people come to those
breakthroughs and aha momentsand realize, oh my gosh, like I
didn't realize.
This is what I thought aboutmyself deep down, and then
that's.
But that's the portal, that'slike where the healing really
becomes juicy, because then youcan really, once you know, you
know and it takes some like workto really integrate the new
(17:10):
learnings and lessons into yoursense of being.
But it all comes down to yourdeepest desires as well, and
sometimes we lose sight of, like, what we want.
And so if you're very clearabout what you want and if what
you want is a really purposeful,healthy, beautiful partnership,
then you're hopefully going totop.
Do this work to get to thatdesire, and if your desire is
(17:32):
strong enough, then you can.
You can work through anything.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Well, and people will say like, oh, but that sounds
like so hard to go through thatwork and like, do the digging,
but like, ultimately, you chooseyour heart right.
Do you want to sit in the heartof, like, not really processing
the breakup or do you want tochannel that hard into something
that's going to really allowfor you to like heal and come
(17:58):
out?
I guess, like on the other sideof this experience that you're
having, oh my gosh, andrea,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That reminds me.
Yeah, there's a really popularauthor and speaker.
His name is gay Hendricks andhe refers to this expression
called your upper limit, andeverybody has a different upper
limit and basically that's yourown ceiling, or thresholds for
how much you'll allow yourselfto feel joy and success,
abundance, ease.
(18:25):
And as soon as you start tofeel like you're getting there,
you'll self sabotage and bringyourself down.
But sometimes, like to getthere, you might have to go
through discomfort andstretchiness, because when we go
to the next level, there'salways going to be probably a
whole of like self doubt, offear, of of wounds coming back,
(18:45):
of insecurities, all of that.
And so when it starts to feelout of your comfort zone, often
we self sabotage.
So people are saying, yeah, oh,that works, seems hard, but
even though deep down, you'veheard the testimonials, you've
heard what this can do for yourlife, it leads you to actually a
higher version of yourself.
But for some people that'sscarier than comfortable pain
(19:08):
and that's kind of like a humanexperience.
But I find it reallyfascinating.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Well, I mean, psychology tells us that we
obviously have like these innerdefense mechanisms and we want
to prevent ourselves fromfeeling like immense pain and
also there's like the fear ofthe unknown that comes into play
there too.
So it's like all of thesethings like keeping us small.
But I was literally justtalking to somebody today about,
(19:35):
you know, these kind of they'rebeing triggered in a certain
situation that they're in rightnow and like all these old
beliefs are like coming up againfor them and they're like, fuck
, I thought I healed from allthis stuff, but it's like it's
coming up again and and it'schallenging to navigate, but
they have the mindset of like,okay, maybe I need to lean into
(19:56):
this, because on the other sideof that, on the other side of
the breakup, on the other sideof the work, is that elevated
type of experience?
You know, oh gosh, either?
Something you said earlier toyou.
You said that when you wentthrough your breakup, you really
(20:16):
allowed yourself to feel it.
I think that that is almostlike a permission slip for
people, that if you're goingthrough whether it's a breakup
or not if you're going throughsomething hard and challenging
and some sort of loss, it'sreally important to allow
yourself to feel it, because ifyou push it down and try and
(20:37):
move forward and if you'releaving a toxic relationship,
people might be saying likeyou're better off, don't worry
about them, just move forward.
You still have to go throughthat processing of the emotion
because otherwise it's comingout some way at some point in
the future.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Absolutely yeah.
It'll magnify and crop up morethan you even realize.
I meet people like that now indifferent capacities, who it's
like years later and they'vethought they've dealt with it,
but they really haven't.
I'm honestly proud because Itoo used to be like that.
I'm just generally anoptimistic person.
In other past situations Iwould pretend and act as if I
(21:18):
was all okay, even though I deepdown wasn't.
That was also just a fear ofexpressing vulnerability to
people I love and a fear ofbeing helped and supported.
But I worked through that aswell.
I think it was just sobeautiful.
How many people did show up forme.
I could not have gone throughmy breakup and been to where I
(21:38):
am today, where today I feelfreaking fantastic.
I am just radiating and feelingmagnetic and feeling amazing.
Yeah, like just last year, Iwas crying myself to sleep.
It is painful, so painful.
I let myself feel it and lookat where I am now.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
It really does pay off.
One of the things that Ithought was really cool I was
just looking at your Instagramleading up to our interview.
You have a lot of practical tipreels, which I think are
awesome, because people can getthose nuggets of information
when they're going through it.
Can you tell me a little bitjust because my own curiosity
(22:19):
what does it look like when youwork with people on this
particular topic?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Absolutely.
The first step, like I said, isfeel to heal what looks like,
identifying then how to copewith your feelings and not avoid
them.
So like getting really clear onwhat that looks like for you.
And I mentioned some practicesearlier.
So like journaling, breath work, talking about letting yourself
cry, and when you are feeling,something that's just really
(22:48):
important is to love yourselfthrough that.
And what I like to do is, whenI'm starting to feel an
uncomfortable emotion like angeror sadness, I imagine my little
girl and I imagine her in myeyes.
I close my eyes and I just sayokay, I'm here for you.
You can feel this way Becauseoftentimes there's like that
(23:09):
little child in us that fordifferent experiences this is
based off of everybody's lifeexperiences and childhood, but
maybe you weren't allowed toexpress your emotions or feel
that way or made to feel toomuch, or there wasn't any space
for that in your childhoodbecause you had to be the parent
or you had to be the grown upone, whatever it is.
(23:29):
And so it's just firstacknowledging and telling that
inner child.
Put your hand on your heart,like really be soft with
yourself and like just letyourself feel it.
So that's just the first step,like be soft through the
uncomfortable emotions and thejudgments that are coming up.
The second thing is to reachout for help.
Reach out to your friends,reach out to community, sign up
(23:52):
for workshops.
Like I always say to the peoplewho come to my workshops like
I'm so proud of you, like that'sa vulnerable thing to do.
They're coming and talking tostrangers, but then all of these
people are going through theirown unique experiences, but such
a similar feeling, and so it'sreally cathartic for them to
talk about it with people againthat just understand what
(24:12):
they're going through in thatmoment.
So go to the retreat, go to theworkshop.
Like talk to your friends, havea girls night, like do whatever
, and then it's also okay Iwanna validate this to have days
where you just don't doanything.
That's I wanna validate.
Like if the best you can do isbrush your teeth, then that's
the best you can do, like,especially right after a breakup
(24:34):
, and sometimes we do get intothat depression, so that goes
back to feel, to heal.
But I just wanna say that'simportant to say too.
The third thing is to thinkabout, then, the person that you
wanna be, and that could be insix months and one year and
start to think about what do Ineed to do to be that person,
(24:54):
and that will give you fuel andmomentum and inspiration to take
different action steps.
So maybe you wanna be a personwho works in a certain career or
has a business or travels a lot, and that will give you just
something to look forward toLike.
If you have that driving forcebehind you, then that can really
help you move on.
Then the other part, of course,like I said earlier, is the
(25:16):
subconscious beliefs.
So this is really important towork with a coach or a therapist
so that you can identify thosebeliefs, because that will
really be the pinnacle of youridentity shift and that's what
we really need after a breakup,especially if you've associated
a lot of your identity withbeing in a relationship or being
married or whatever it is.
(25:37):
You need to start to embodyingyour identity, and more so if
you wanna be open to love againand this is an important piece
that I wanna say too, because ifyou're holding onto these
resentments or old beliefs fromthat relationship and you start
to date again like months downthe line, then you're going to
be projecting a lot of thosewounds onto like new partners or
new people.
(25:57):
So if you truly wanna likewelcome in a new sense of love
and a new type of relationship,then it's really important to
work on the beliefs that got youin that situation, or just the
beliefs that attracted that lifeto you or maybe came, because
of that situation, right.
And then another important pieceis forgiveness.
So I teach about forgiveness inmy workshops.
(26:20):
I think it is the deepest pathto closure and what I mean by
forgiveness is not necessarilylike calling up your acts and
saying I forgive you.
If that's something like nojudgment here, if that's
something you wanna do, Iwouldn't recommend.
But forgiveness is more like aninternal closure practice.
It's just like acceptance thatwhat happened can't be changed.
(26:43):
But forgiveness comes after themessy part.
It comes after the sadness andthe anger and it's a journey.
It's not gonna be this likequick, bandaid release.
It's just gonna be coming backto your heart, like I said, and
just like saying I release you,I forgive you, like say those
words out loud in your headwhenever you start to feel
yourself dripping into thatsense of like anger or deeper
(27:05):
resentment and there's that partof you, that higher version of
you, that's like no, I don'twanna feel this anger anymore.
That's the part where you'reready to start to forgive and
intentionally forgive, andremembering that forgiveness is
for you.
Like how powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Is that Like people like to think Is that for
anybody else?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
No, because that person is still living and
existing and, like they don'tknow always what that situation
did for you, they're thinkingabout their life and where
they're going now and they couldbe going through pain and
suffering 100%.
But it's more for you to feelreleased and to like welcome in
something new and so connect tothat heart, connect to that part
(27:49):
of you that just like knowsdeep down that you deserve and
desire something better, andrecognize the love in you, like
just feel that when you connectto your heart and those are kind
of some practices.
And then, of course, likeconnecting to your heart is all
about doing the things that youlove and that light you up.
So, whatever that is, do it, domore of it, because you'll just
(28:11):
feel that energy.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
There are so many beautiful tools in there, and I
think it's also like worthwhilementioning that all of these
steps and all of this movingthrough the different moments of
that process is so differentfor everybody and, like you know
, there might be people in ourlife that's like, oh my gosh,
(28:33):
like you guys broke up sixmonths ago or whatever like are
you not over it yet?
And I think that it's reallyimportant to remember that any
loss that you're going throughand grieving and healing from
like is going to be such adifferent timeline for every
single person, and it's not upto us to impose those on other
(28:54):
people, and it's also like up tous to keep those like put up a
barrier or like boundary of like.
Listen, I'm gonna go throughthis on my own time and I'm
gonna do it in whatever amountof time it takes me.
Wow, yeah, so much gold.
Can you tell people I will linkit in the show notes but before
(29:16):
we wrap up, like thisincredible conversation, can you
tell people where they can findyou?
And I mean, you've given us somuch gold already, but do you
have any like final closingthoughts that you would wanna
leave listeners with before wewrap up today?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I would say that if you're going through heartbreak
right now, know that Icompletely see you and
completely understand, and Iwant you to know that you are
whole and complete as you are inyour pain and in your joy, in
your heartbreak, before andafter, and you will find your
(29:56):
sparkle again.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I love that.
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingin this time with me, with us,
for everybody listening.
I envision people out therelistening to this, just really
really feeling it and feelingthat love and support like a hug
through their car speakers ortheir AirPods or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah, that's what I wanted to feel like and yeah, if
you need more support, you canfind me on Instagram at
healwithlidia, and I'll send itto Andrea as well, but I have a
free five minute EFT tappingguide, which is just a brilliant
, quick practice to regulateyour nervous system and restore
your energy.
(30:39):
So that is something that'sfree and downloadable.
And I'm also on tit talk atLydia Paulina K and yeah, I
offer tons of different bitesized advice and tools and tips
and stories there, so feel freeto connect with me there.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I love it all.
Thank you so much for theincredible work that you do.
Like I kind of opened up thisepisode with it's such a raw,
painful, vulnerable, reallyreally sensitive type of
experience and so you workingwith people in that space is
just like it's such a light inthe world.
So thank you for doing that andbeing here.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh my goodness.
Thank you for having thisplatform, andrea, and sharing so
many beautiful guests andstories.
It's also incredibly valuable.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Thank, you so much.
You're so welcome Guys.
Thank you for tuning in todayand I will see you next week.
Until then, stay well.
Thanks so much for being here.
I hope you're leaving with afull heart, some inspiration or
you're feeling the kick in thebutt you felt like you needed.
(31:45):
If you really enjoyed thisepisode, be sure to share it
with a friend or let me knowRates, reviews, subscribing and
sharing are all great ways tosupport the show, and if you
want to stay in touch, follow meover on Instagram at
thebalancebless.
Thanks for listening today andstay well.
Welcome to the Balance and Bliss podcast.
I'm your host, andrea Mondu, athree-time published author,
speaker and a lifestyletransformation coach who
believes everyone should begiven the gift of knowing how to
live their lives, feelinghealthy and empowered.
Things like moving your bodyregularly and feeling it well,
taking care of your mind,setting boundaries, practicing
(00:23):
self and body, acceptance,personal growth, manifestation
and everything in between.
Wellness is not linear and it'snot just one thing.
It expands into so many areasand on this show we're going to
talk about just that.
We're all striving to live alittle more healthy and a little
more well, but what does thateven mean?
(00:43):
My goal is to help you see thatyou can move from the mundane
to the magic when it comes toliving aligned and fulfilled,
and by tuning in each week youcan be assured you'll leave with
nuggets of wisdom that you canimplement into your day to day,
like right now, to help youmaximize your health, wellness
(01:04):
and your life.
Now let's dive in.
Hey everybody, welcome back toanother episode.
Today's going to be a good onebecause what we're going to be
chatting about today is, I think, a human experience.
Not, I think, I know, it's ahuman experience that every
single person goes through andit's painful and it can feel
(01:28):
really raw and make you feel ina really vulnerable state, but
it is very much a common humanemotion.
So I'm here today to talk aboutbreakups and healing from
breakups and all of that goodstuff with my guests.
So I'm joined by Lydia todayand she's making this like a
(01:48):
beautiful smile that you can'tsee, but I saw it, so that was
great.
So why don't you tell everybodya little bit about the work
that you do?
Because I, when you reach outto me, I'm like a breakup coach.
It's something that we all gothrough, but like I've never
heard of there being asupportive person that can kind
of help you through that.
(02:09):
So why don't you tell everybodya little bit about who you are?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Absolutely Well.
Thank you so much, andrea, forthat introduction, and likewise,
you have a beautiful smile andenergy that I just feel
radiating across the screenright now.
So that's such a gift.
And yeah, I am a dating andbreakup coach and it is my
mission to help people heal fromheartbreak and overcome dating
(02:34):
stuff back so they can reclaimtheir power, fall in love with
themselves and attract the loveand life that they truly desire.
And breakup coach isencapsulates kind of the whole
spectrum of heartbreak.
Right, it's not just, oh, youwere in a relationship with
somebody for two, three yearsand then you broke up, which is,
(02:55):
of course, its own kind of pain.
It can also be a situation shipbreakup.
It can also be heartbreak oversomething that you really wanted
to happen.
A lot of times we start to datesomebody and see it going
somewhere, and you might havenot even entered into a
relationship with one person,but maybe you just weren't on
the same page anymore, andthere's heartbreak in that too.
(03:19):
And heartbreak in marriage,heartbreak in friendships to.
That's something I'm startingto talk about a little bit more
in the workshops that I do.
So I run group workshops acrossVancouver and soon to be
Victoria.
I would love to go moreinternational as well, and
that's really a time for peopleto gather in community, because
oftentimes during heartbreak,what I'm trying to change is the
(03:41):
feeling of loneliness thatcomes after, the feeling of like
, is anybody else going throughthis right now?
Like you're walking down thestreet and if you do get up out
of bed that day and I'm the onlyone in a supper bubble right
now, even if you have reallygood people in your life and
really good friends, after awhile you might feel like you're
so complaining about it, and soI like to offer, like a very
(04:05):
judgment, free, loving space forpeople in my workshops and, of
course, I work with people oneto one and that's a more
immersive, intimate container.
But basically, I just fullybelieve that heartbreak and
breakups are one of the mostprofoundly transformative
experiences that we go throughand really a way that we meet
(04:26):
ourselves, learn about ourselvesand, if we take the medicine of
that heartbreak, turn into thenext best version of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Whoa, okay, you have said like so many incredible
things.
First of all, shout out tofellow Canadian Love that.
But you're, like you're soright in saying that.
There's a couple things that Iwanted to kind of touch on.
The first is that every singleperson who kind of goes through
(04:56):
this Oftentimes we have thismoment of like is it me, what
could I have done differently?
And we start to like takeinventory on ourselves and how
we showed up in thatrelationship or situation and
think about, like you know, whatcould I potentially do
different next time?
Or you know, maybe, how could Ihave kind of fixed the thing
(05:18):
that we're, that we're breakingup from?
But then the other thing thatyou said that was really that I
really liked is that and I got,I guess I kind of like compare
it to like grieving almost whereit's like you experience a loss
and then everybody's around youand they're like I'm so sorry
that you're going through this.
They're really looking for waysthat they can kind of support
you and then it gets to acertain point where that support
(05:40):
dwindles away but you're stillvery much feeling the feelings
of that loss because you arelike grieving.
You know what you thought itcould be losing that, that
relationship and also thatfriendship.
Like you said, I know myselfpersonally like there have been
a few friendships in my lifewhere I was hurt and I knew that
(06:04):
it was the best thing for me tosever those ties or to just not
really communicate with thatperson or those people anymore.
And you're still like more.
You always think about the goodtimes right and the and the
feelings that felt good, aboutthose experiences and you feel
sad about those and that doesn'tgo away and you still keep
(06:24):
feeling those.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Absolutely yeah.
It's a nuanced moment becauseyou definitely come out of a
breakup and sometimes you gointo a movie mode in your mind
where you are replaying all ofthe amazing things all of a
sudden, especially if it's abreakup that happened because of
something that was unhealthyand toxic, and so you start to
(06:46):
think, oh, but maybe there wassomething good about this
relationship and I speak fromexperience.
This is what happened with mybreakup that launched me into
this business.
It was a very unhealthy, toxicrelationship and as soon as I
walked away from that which isone of the hardest and best
decisions I've ever done Istarted to think about all the
(07:09):
beautiful things about him and Ithink these two things can
coexist in a way.
But I think it's a complex thingto navigate when you're one,
trying to move on because youclearly broke up, for a reason
for it to get to that point, buttwo, you still, yeah, like that
person was a part of your lifeand they're still existing in
the world, and that's wherethat's really hard to reconcile
(07:31):
with the grief of losingsomebody to death.
But the fact is the brainactually doesn't know the
difference.
If it's death or just like aloss of a breakup, we process it
very similarly in our body andin our brain and at the Amadilla
.
Literally it feels like athreat to your survival when you
lose somebody to a breakup ordeath, and so I just want to
(07:53):
validate that pain right afterand that like that anxiety.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That makes total sense to me, because you're
still like having to figure outhow your life is going to look
without that person.
And then you add in like anextra complex layer.
I know two people who are goingthrough a separation right now,
breakup where they both stillfeel such deep love for each
other but you know needs aren'tbeing met and it's not going in
(08:22):
the direction that they hadhoped.
I can't imagine how that wouldfeel.
Right, my breakup before myhusband, which was like 18 years
ago well, more than that.
Anyway, that guy was a dick.
Quite frankly, I was going tosay he was a douchebag.
He was that too, and so, likeit made sense Eventually.
I still felt a lot of feelingsaround that, but, like I can
(08:44):
imagine, you know it's so multilayered.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, absolutely yeah .
Oh, that's so painful when youstill have love for that person,
but you've both reconciled thefact that, like yeah, it's not
going in the way that you wantto.
That's, that's extremely hard,but one of the things that I
want to note about that is thatwe have so many potential people
that we can be compatible withand have good chemistry with,
(09:08):
and that's usually a reallycommon fear that keeps us longer
in those relationships is like,oh, I thought I think this is
it, or I thought this was thebest I could have.
Whereas there's so muchpotential for people that we can
connect with and in fact, Iwant to say like if you felt
that depth of love andconnection and chemistry and
(09:29):
compatibility, you were half ofthat equation.
Like you brought a part of thattoo, and so you can bring that
to a fresh relationship thatmeets you where you are and is
aligned with your vision andvalues and where you want to go.
And, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, I love that so much because that like kind of
just tweaked my brain or whatyou said earlier, that like when
you go through a breakup, it'slike an opera.
It really is like anopportunity for transformation
and almost like not I mean,reinvention is the word that's
coming to mind for me right nowbut it like you go through this
(10:06):
transformation, you are.
You will never be the sameperson because you're now
carrying all of that with yougoing forward.
Okay, tell me about like some,some of the clients that you've
worked with, or even your ownexperience, whatever you want to
share, just about that liketransforming and using the
heartbreak to to grow from it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely so.
I want to first share, like, mystory, really, because that's
where it all started, and Ithought the relationship, my
most previous relationship, wasmy person.
I believed that and actuallyI'm talking to you at a really
interesting moment, because webroke up almost exactly a year
(10:47):
ago today and I was reflectingon it and writing an email to my
email list and thinking, oh, mygoodness, yeah, it's almost it
was like September 4th or 5thlast year and to see how much
has changed in a year, evenbecause of two things because I
have been very intentional withmy healing and reinventing
(11:10):
myself and I've also asked forhelp and asked for support.
And I think those are whatdifferentiates people who stay
really stuck in their heartbreakand it's valid to feel stuck
versus the people who go throughthat period of mourning and
loss and then decide to dosomething with it, decide to
optimize it into thatreinvention and into becoming
(11:32):
the next best version ofyourself.
And that's exactly what I didLike I'll be honest, though,
like those first several monthsafter, I was not doing that.
I just let myself feel, I justlet myself mourn and process and
cry and scream.
I was angry.
Anger is a huge emotion thatcomes after a breakup and that
was really uncomfortable for me,but I needed to really feel
(11:55):
that way.
I needed to feel anger about myex because of the way he
treated me, and that didn't meanI was calling him or texting
him like how dare you do this?
No, like this is something youneed to do with yourself.
Whatever that looks like foryou, like some ways that I would
suggest is getting intobreathwork and that really can
help you start to let go orrelease those emotions.
(12:16):
I journal a lot and so I wouldwrite angry letters not sending
them, but I would just likewrite and release and then,
after I just felt this weightlifted off my shoulders and I
kept doing that.
So it's not just like a one anddone.
Sometimes you have to do thesepractices over and over again.
I spoke to friends, I investedin coaching, all of these things
(12:38):
, and then the process ofreinventing yourself starts when
you realize you just wantsomething different, you want
something better, you'restarting to pry a little less,
you're still feeling emotional,but you just want, you see, some
hope.
And that's what I want to offerpeople that I work with and
what I offer people in myworkshops and one to one is just
(12:58):
a planting of hope.
That doesn't always feel veryapparent right at the beginning.
But if you have a little bit ofhope and something that you're
living for, it's quite easy tothen take the next steps, and
really it's just one step at atime.
So first you know that can looklike investing in your goals
and your pursuits, and for me itwas starting this business.
(13:22):
Diving deeper into hobbies Isigned up for a new dance class.
I'm already a Latin dancer, butI started taking like partner
Kisomba classes and sometimesthat newness of trying something
new develops your confidence.
I started meeting new friendsand like kind of doing things
that I never felt that my exreally appreciated about me or
like understood, and I claimedthat back right.
(13:45):
And so if you can kind of dothat, then that's when you start
to really reinvent yourself.
And with my clients, often thepeople that I attract I mean in
the workshops usually they'vegone through like a really fresh
heartbreak and they're justlooking for some light at the
end of the tunnel.
They're just looking to feel alittle less anxious, a little
less stressed and more in tunewith themselves.
(14:07):
But often the people that I workwith one to one are people that
have just kind of experienced alot of the same patterns over
and over again in their datinglife, or they've just
experienced a lot of likeheartbreak after heartbreak, and
they've felt a lot of anxietyor avoidance, like this weekend
at two attachment styles.
That's a whole other, but thatoften leads to heartbreak too.
(14:31):
So really it's about actuallyrewiring a lot of your beliefs
about love and relationships.
And if you are experiencinglike a lot of these common
patterns, or even after anintense breakup, like I didn't
think I would, I was the type ofperson to attract somebody who
was violent and toxic andunhealthy, and so that made me
(14:52):
realize, oh, I need to look moreat myself here and not put so
much of the blame also on myacts, like I let myself feel the
anger.
But part of reinventing istaking responsibility for
ourselves as well and takingresponsibility for our own
healing and how we can make surethat nothing is 100% guaranteed
but that we can like try toprevent something similar from
(15:15):
happening in the future.
And that starts with oursubconscious beliefs at the core
, which take like deep innerwork and reflection, and that's
really what's going to transformyour identity and who you step
into.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
So what you're talking about right now just
reminded me of Mel Robbins.
I listened to a podcast episodeof hers recently and she had a
doctor on there who specificallyworks with people around their
attachment styles and how, basedon what their attachment styles
are, the type of partners thatthey attract and then the type
of parents that they become.
(15:49):
And they this.
This doctor I forget what hername is was talking about how,
like, if we find ourselves inthese patterns of being in
relationships with similarpeople, it can be helpful for us
again and this is not like toface blame on the individual
themselves, but it can behelpful for the individual to
(16:09):
like think about theirsubconscious beliefs, about
relationships, about what wasmodeled for them when they were
growing up and all that kind ofstuff, and how all of these
things can actually impact thetype of person that we, that we
attract.
It's so fascinating because,like, we're experiencing our
life in the present but we don't, we forget and maybe we don't
(16:33):
realize that, like a lot of ourpresent experiences come from
these like subconscious thingsthat we don't even realize,
stuff we haven't healed, likeall of it right.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Absolutely yeah.
So it's really interesting tosee people come to those
breakthroughs and aha momentsand realize, oh my gosh, like I
didn't realize.
This is what I thought aboutmyself deep down, and then
that's.
But that's the portal, that'slike where the healing really
becomes juicy, because then youcan really, once you know, you
know and it takes some like workto really integrate the new
(17:10):
learnings and lessons into yoursense of being.
But it all comes down to yourdeepest desires as well, and
sometimes we lose sight of, like, what we want.
And so if you're very clearabout what you want and if what
you want is a really purposeful,healthy, beautiful partnership,
then you're hopefully going totop.
Do this work to get to thatdesire, and if your desire is
(17:32):
strong enough, then you can.
You can work through anything.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Well, and people will say like, oh, but that sounds
like so hard to go through thatwork and like, do the digging,
but like, ultimately, you chooseyour heart right.
Do you want to sit in the heartof, like, not really processing
the breakup or do you want tochannel that hard into something
that's going to really allowfor you to like heal and come
(17:58):
out?
I guess, like on the other sideof this experience that you're
having, oh my gosh, andrea,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That reminds me.
Yeah, there's a really popularauthor and speaker.
His name is gay Hendricks andhe refers to this expression
called your upper limit, andeverybody has a different upper
limit and basically that's yourown ceiling, or thresholds for
how much you'll allow yourselfto feel joy and success,
abundance, ease.
(18:25):
And as soon as you start tofeel like you're getting there,
you'll self sabotage and bringyourself down.
But sometimes, like to getthere, you might have to go
through discomfort andstretchiness, because when we go
to the next level, there'salways going to be probably a
whole of like self doubt, offear, of of wounds coming back,
(18:45):
of insecurities, all of that.
And so when it starts to feelout of your comfort zone, often
we self sabotage.
So people are saying, yeah, oh,that works, seems hard, but
even though deep down, you'veheard the testimonials, you've
heard what this can do for yourlife, it leads you to actually a
higher version of yourself.
But for some people that'sscarier than comfortable pain
(19:08):
and that's kind of like a humanexperience.
But I find it reallyfascinating.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Well, I mean, psychology tells us that we
obviously have like these innerdefense mechanisms and we want
to prevent ourselves fromfeeling like immense pain and
also there's like the fear ofthe unknown that comes into play
there too.
So it's like all of thesethings like keeping us small.
But I was literally justtalking to somebody today about,
(19:35):
you know, these kind of they'rebeing triggered in a certain
situation that they're in rightnow and like all these old
beliefs are like coming up againfor them and they're like, fuck
, I thought I healed from allthis stuff, but it's like it's
coming up again and and it'schallenging to navigate, but
they have the mindset of like,okay, maybe I need to lean into
(19:56):
this, because on the other sideof that, on the other side of
the breakup, on the other sideof the work, is that elevated
type of experience?
You know, oh gosh, either?
Something you said earlier toyou.
You said that when you wentthrough your breakup, you really
(20:16):
allowed yourself to feel it.
I think that that is almostlike a permission slip for
people, that if you're goingthrough whether it's a breakup
or not if you're going throughsomething hard and challenging
and some sort of loss, it'sreally important to allow
yourself to feel it, because ifyou push it down and try and
(20:37):
move forward and if you'releaving a toxic relationship,
people might be saying likeyou're better off, don't worry
about them, just move forward.
You still have to go throughthat processing of the emotion
because otherwise it's comingout some way at some point in
the future.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Absolutely yeah.
It'll magnify and crop up morethan you even realize.
I meet people like that now indifferent capacities, who it's
like years later and they'vethought they've dealt with it,
but they really haven't.
I'm honestly proud because Itoo used to be like that.
I'm just generally anoptimistic person.
In other past situations Iwould pretend and act as if I
(21:18):
was all okay, even though I deepdown wasn't.
That was also just a fear ofexpressing vulnerability to
people I love and a fear ofbeing helped and supported.
But I worked through that aswell.
I think it was just sobeautiful.
How many people did show up forme.
I could not have gone throughmy breakup and been to where I
(21:38):
am today, where today I feelfreaking fantastic.
I am just radiating and feelingmagnetic and feeling amazing.
Yeah, like just last year, Iwas crying myself to sleep.
It is painful, so painful.
I let myself feel it and lookat where I am now.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
It really does pay off.
One of the things that Ithought was really cool I was
just looking at your Instagramleading up to our interview.
You have a lot of practical tipreels, which I think are
awesome, because people can getthose nuggets of information
when they're going through it.
Can you tell me a little bitjust because my own curiosity
(22:19):
what does it look like when youwork with people on this
particular topic?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Absolutely.
The first step, like I said, isfeel to heal what looks like,
identifying then how to copewith your feelings and not avoid
them.
So like getting really clear onwhat that looks like for you.
And I mentioned some practicesearlier.
So like journaling, breath work, talking about letting yourself
cry, and when you are feeling,something that's just really
(22:48):
important is to love yourselfthrough that.
And what I like to do is, whenI'm starting to feel an
uncomfortable emotion like angeror sadness, I imagine my little
girl and I imagine her in myeyes.
I close my eyes and I just sayokay, I'm here for you.
You can feel this way Becauseoftentimes there's like that
(23:09):
little child in us that fordifferent experiences this is
based off of everybody's lifeexperiences and childhood, but
maybe you weren't allowed toexpress your emotions or feel
that way or made to feel toomuch, or there wasn't any space
for that in your childhoodbecause you had to be the parent
or you had to be the grown upone, whatever it is.
(23:29):
And so it's just firstacknowledging and telling that
inner child.
Put your hand on your heart,like really be soft with
yourself and like just letyourself feel it.
So that's just the first step,like be soft through the
uncomfortable emotions and thejudgments that are coming up.
The second thing is to reachout for help.
Reach out to your friends,reach out to community, sign up
(23:52):
for workshops.
Like I always say to the peoplewho come to my workshops like
I'm so proud of you, like that'sa vulnerable thing to do.
They're coming and talking tostrangers, but then all of these
people are going through theirown unique experiences, but such
a similar feeling, and so it'sreally cathartic for them to
talk about it with people againthat just understand what
(24:12):
they're going through in thatmoment.
So go to the retreat, go to theworkshop.
Like talk to your friends, havea girls night, like do whatever
, and then it's also okay Iwanna validate this to have days
where you just don't doanything.
That's I wanna validate.
Like if the best you can do isbrush your teeth, then that's
the best you can do, like,especially right after a breakup
(24:34):
, and sometimes we do get intothat depression, so that goes
back to feel, to heal.
But I just wanna say that'simportant to say too.
The third thing is to thinkabout, then, the person that you
wanna be, and that could be insix months and one year and
start to think about what do Ineed to do to be that person,
(24:54):
and that will give you fuel andmomentum and inspiration to take
different action steps.
So maybe you wanna be a personwho works in a certain career or
has a business or travels a lot, and that will give you just
something to look forward toLike.
If you have that driving forcebehind you, then that can really
help you move on.
Then the other part, of course,like I said earlier, is the
(25:16):
subconscious beliefs.
So this is really important towork with a coach or a therapist
so that you can identify thosebeliefs, because that will
really be the pinnacle of youridentity shift and that's what
we really need after a breakup,especially if you've associated
a lot of your identity withbeing in a relationship or being
married or whatever it is.
(25:37):
You need to start to embodyingyour identity, and more so if
you wanna be open to love againand this is an important piece
that I wanna say too, because ifyou're holding onto these
resentments or old beliefs fromthat relationship and you start
to date again like months downthe line, then you're going to
be projecting a lot of thosewounds onto like new partners or
new people.
(25:57):
So if you truly wanna likewelcome in a new sense of love
and a new type of relationship,then it's really important to
work on the beliefs that got youin that situation, or just the
beliefs that attracted that lifeto you or maybe came, because
of that situation, right.
And then another important pieceis forgiveness.
So I teach about forgiveness inmy workshops.
(26:20):
I think it is the deepest pathto closure and what I mean by
forgiveness is not necessarilylike calling up your acts and
saying I forgive you.
If that's something like nojudgment here, if that's
something you wanna do, Iwouldn't recommend.
But forgiveness is more like aninternal closure practice.
It's just like acceptance thatwhat happened can't be changed.
(26:43):
But forgiveness comes after themessy part.
It comes after the sadness andthe anger and it's a journey.
It's not gonna be this likequick, bandaid release.
It's just gonna be coming backto your heart, like I said, and
just like saying I release you,I forgive you, like say those
words out loud in your headwhenever you start to feel
yourself dripping into thatsense of like anger or deeper
(27:05):
resentment and there's that partof you, that higher version of
you, that's like no, I don'twanna feel this anger anymore.
That's the part where you'reready to start to forgive and
intentionally forgive, andremembering that forgiveness is
for you.
Like how powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Is that Like people like to think Is that for
anybody else?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
No, because that person is still living and
existing and, like they don'tknow always what that situation
did for you, they're thinkingabout their life and where
they're going now and they couldbe going through pain and
suffering 100%.
But it's more for you to feelreleased and to like welcome in
something new and so connect tothat heart, connect to that part
(27:49):
of you that just like knowsdeep down that you deserve and
desire something better, andrecognize the love in you, like
just feel that when you connectto your heart and those are kind
of some practices.
And then, of course, likeconnecting to your heart is all
about doing the things that youlove and that light you up.
So, whatever that is, do it, domore of it, because you'll just
(28:11):
feel that energy.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
There are so many beautiful tools in there, and I
think it's also like worthwhilementioning that all of these
steps and all of this movingthrough the different moments of
that process is so differentfor everybody and, like you know
, there might be people in ourlife that's like, oh my gosh,
(28:33):
like you guys broke up sixmonths ago or whatever like are
you not over it yet?
And I think that it's reallyimportant to remember that any
loss that you're going throughand grieving and healing from
like is going to be such adifferent timeline for every
single person, and it's not upto us to impose those on other
(28:54):
people, and it's also like up tous to keep those like put up a
barrier or like boundary of like.
Listen, I'm gonna go throughthis on my own time and I'm
gonna do it in whatever amountof time it takes me.
Wow, yeah, so much gold.
Can you tell people I will linkit in the show notes but before
(29:16):
we wrap up, like thisincredible conversation, can you
tell people where they can findyou?
And I mean, you've given us somuch gold already, but do you
have any like final closingthoughts that you would wanna
leave listeners with before wewrap up today?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I would say that if you're going through heartbreak
right now, know that Icompletely see you and
completely understand, and Iwant you to know that you are
whole and complete as you are inyour pain and in your joy, in
your heartbreak, before andafter, and you will find your
(29:56):
sparkle again.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I love that.
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingin this time with me, with us,
for everybody listening.
I envision people out therelistening to this, just really
really feeling it and feelingthat love and support like a hug
through their car speakers ortheir AirPods or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah, that's what I wanted to feel like and yeah, if
you need more support, you canfind me on Instagram at
healwithlidia, and I'll send itto Andrea as well, but I have a
free five minute EFT tappingguide, which is just a brilliant
, quick practice to regulateyour nervous system and restore
your energy.
(30:39):
So that is something that'sfree and downloadable.
And I'm also on tit talk atLydia Paulina K and yeah, I
offer tons of different bitesized advice and tools and tips
and stories there, so feel freeto connect with me there.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I love it all.
Thank you so much for theincredible work that you do.
Like I kind of opened up thisepisode with it's such a raw,
painful, vulnerable, reallyreally sensitive type of
experience and so you workingwith people in that space is
just like it's such a light inthe world.
So thank you for doing that andbeing here.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh my goodness.
Thank you for having thisplatform, andrea, and sharing so
many beautiful guests andstories.
It's also incredibly valuable.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Thank, you so much.
You're so welcome Guys.
Thank you for tuning in todayand I will see you next week.
Until then, stay well.
Thanks so much for being here.
I hope you're leaving with afull heart, some inspiration or
you're feeling the kick in thebutt you felt like you needed.
(31:45):
If you really enjoyed thisepisode, be sure to share it
with a friend or let me knowRates, reviews, subscribing and
sharing are all great ways tosupport the show, and if you
want to stay in touch, follow meover on Instagram at
thebalancebless.
Thanks for listening today andstay well.
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