Episode 32: Translating Your Destiny

Rowan College at Burlington County Associate Professor of English Second Language, Meral Muyesser, shares her story of coming to America with a few hundred dollars in her pocket, an English-Turkish dictionary, and a dream of better opportunities. Listen to her struggles and successes of what made her the inspirational professor and mentor she has become today throughout the RCBC ESL community and beyond. 

Episode Transcript

Dr. Brooke Mailhiot (00:01):
Welcome to Rowan College of Burlington
County's Baroness Podcast. I'mDr Brooke Mailhiot, program
chair and assistant professor ofour entertainment technologies
department. I am the co chair ofthe Women's Advocacy Group, a
subcommittee of the President'sAdvisory Council on diversity,
equity and inclusion. Thismonthly series highlights women
in leadership, while encouraginglisteners to build their skills,

(00:23):
connect with the community andvisualize the opportunities
available to women in variousprofessions, tune in for a
female perspective on theBurlington County community. We
are here to listen to theseamazing women. If you want to
hear from women who lead andinspire, this podcast is for
you. Well, welcome everybody,and joining us today is Dr Mural

(00:46):
Muyesser currently is theAssociate Professor of English
as a second language and the ESLprogram chair at Rowan College
of Burlington County. She alsoserves as the faculty co chair
of the President's AdvisoryCouncil for Diversity Equity and
Inclusion, and is theobservation specialist for the
Division of HBSS. She isoriginally from Turkey and came

(01:08):
to the United States in 1999

Mural Muyesser (01:12):
as a former international student herself,
she deeply understands thechallenges her students face,
which allow her to designcurricula and learning
experiences that both meet theireducational and personal needs.
Welcome morale. Thank you somuch. I am so happy that you are
here on the Baroness with us.Thank you, Brooke. I'm so
excited to be here too. Thankyou for having me, of course,

(01:34):
now I have read your story, andit's so powerful to me as a
young woman coming to America,not knowing the language, not
knowing anything of what toexpect, and like, look at you
now, it's really it'sunbelievable. Would you share

(01:54):
with the audience what thatbeginning of that story looked
like when you came here toAmerica? Sure, I'll be happy to
share my story so we makechoices in our lives that shape
our destiny. So I made a choiceand shaped my destiny by coming
to the United States, as yousaid in 1999

Unknown (02:17):
way back then, I was young and ignorant, I would say
I was young because I was I wasin my 20s when I came here,
ignorant because I was boldenough to come here, as you
said, without knowing English,without knowing Anyone, without
having any family ties here andwe got money. I had only 300

(02:44):
others with me.
All I had was a small piece ofluggage and my Turkish English
hard copy dictionary because wedidn't have Google Translator.
Yeah, back then your websitetranslate. Yeah, exactly. And I
had a framed photograph of myparents. That's all I had. But I

(03:06):
had dreams and hopes. Yeah,
I was hoping that I would havemore opportunities here that I
didn't have a chance to have inmy home country. So I had
dreams. I had goals that Iwanted to achieve when I came
here. But of course,

(03:27):
my first few years were sodifficult. It was very
difficult. It was verychallenging. Sure, again, I
didn't know anyone, so I felthomesick. Of course, I missed my
family a lot. It was so hard forme to figure out everything all
on my own, without having myfamily here.

(03:51):
And I knew that I had to go toschool, but I didn't have money,
so I had to work so hard becauseI didn't know English, so I kind
of cleaned houses and cutgrasses, you did anything to get
by Exactly, exactly. And,
you know, living in New Jersey,South Jersey, you have to have a
car. So I work so hard,suburbia, yes, right. So I

(04:15):
worked so hard. First to my goalwas, my first goal was, like,
get a car. But of course, it wasdifficult, you know, it's
expensive to get a car, so firstI bought a bike.
With my savings, I was able toget a bike. And I remember
riding my bicycle from Medfordto Pemberton campus, because I

(04:35):
studied here at rcbc. And wayback then we were, you know,
yes, Burlington County College,so I took classes
at our Pemberton campus, and Iwas riding my bicycle even on a
rainy day. So I had days that Iwas crying, you know, sure I had
my bicycle. How do you keepgoing? I mean, how do you stay,

(04:57):
like, a positive mindset, right?Like, if.
It's hard. It's you're notyou're you're in a new country.
You don't know the language, youdon't know the culture, you
don't have anyone talk to but Iwas so fortunate because I had
wonderful professors here andadvisors, and I made friends
while I was studying here takingESL classes. I had one specific

(05:21):
professor, Dr Carol Gavin, whopassed away a long time ago. She
was, she was teaching French inESL. She was the Program Chair.
Even talking about her justmakes me, I see she really meant
something to you. And you knowwhat it's we talk a lot about
Baroness, about like, thiswomanhood, this this sisterhood

(05:46):
of people that that that werepart of your team, that part of
made you who you are. And I seewhen you're talking about her,
that that's that she's part ofthat team, that that she was
part of that achievement thatyou were looking for. She was
she really believed in me andencouraged me. She's the one who

(06:07):
actually encouraged me to get inthis field, because after I
completed my ESL program, I waslittle lost. So
I will get on a different topic.So just tell you about little
bit about my background inTurkey. I used to be a
professional athlete. I was atrack for so many years. So I

(06:28):
studied sports and physicaleducation, and I was a gym
teacher. Actually, I worked in amess, one of those three truths
and a lie that would not what Iwould never think of was I a gym
teacher. I would have neverpicked that for you, but I love
knowing these little factoids.Now about you, I worked in a
middle school for about sixmonths, but my heart was

(06:48):
somewhere else. I always want toget my master's degree, doctoral
degree, and teach a collegelevel. I want to become a, you
know, college professor,exactly. So that's why I came
here. Actually, that was themain goal, because in Turkey, in
order to get your master'sdegree, you have to know the
English there's a certain examthat you need to take. So that's
why I came here. But so when Iwas studying ESL,

(07:13):
I was playing to collegecourses, so Dr gavid helped me
to
find my path. So I was takingcollege courses, and then she
said, why don't you help otherESL students? So I start
tutoring ESL students andrealize that I love it. So after
so I have my bachelor's degreefrom Turkey, and then I earned

(07:35):
my associate degree here at ourCBC. And then because of Dr,
Kevin's guidance, and I foundout what I really like to do. So
I earned my Master's degree inteaching ESL, and I remember the
day when I was accepted to theprogram the College of New
Jersey. She she was sick at thattime. She took me lunch, she

(07:59):
went out lunch, and she gave methis great, small, tiny
figurine. It was beautiful. Andshe wrote me a card. She was so
excited. She was so happy. Andshe told me, One day you'll
maybe you'll teach at our CBC,maybe you'll run the program,
and it has come true. Yes, ithas come through. You're
literally walking in herfootsteps. You're in her, in her

(08:21):
like, following your dream andyour path of someone that helped
you. And I think that's reallypowerful. Because I think women
we all need, like thesesupportive figures and leaders
in our life, and that you foundit here. And I'm sure now you
just like you're filling hershoes, you're also filling these
shoes of you being that leaderto all these other young women

(08:43):
who are taking these ESL classesand who are other immigrants
that are coming here and takingthese classes, and you're there.
You know they're looking up toyou. I am. This is
because I'm so grateful. Whatgreat people that have helped me
here way back then, of course,my mom, she's my, you know,

(09:06):
yeah, of course, as there isthis, she's your rock. She's my
rock. Exactly, she passed away,but she was a very strong woman.
So
Kate Hodges, she has, she satbehind every great woman, there
is another great woman, greatwoman. So yes, I have, like my

(09:26):
mother, dr, Kevin, and all theother great women that who have
supported me, behind me. But Iwill expand that quote, and I
will say, behind every greatperson, there's a there's
another great person.
Other than those great women, Ialso have my old brother who
supported me, helped me, guideme. I think

(09:48):
it is really, as you said, it isreally important to support each
other.
What is I think
we are at our best and we helpeach.
Other, maybe support each other.And we have so many
international students here atthe college. They're coming in.

(10:10):
They're coming in to learnEnglish, but they also have
other goals. Some of them arecoming from countries
it's so difficult to live intheir home countries, they're
living their families behind,and some of them are lawyers,
doctors. They have education,but because they don't know the
language, they feel

(10:31):
they feel weak, sure, they feellonely. So so I don't look at
them only as a student who arethere just to learn English. I
understand their feelings andtheir backgrounds.
So I I am always, I try to helpthem, not only inside of the
classroom, outside of theclassroom too. And I love that

(10:54):
you do that because you'resaying that you have this
feelings and the support and thecommunity build. And I know that
you do so many things for thecommunity of a lot of the ESL
students and people that don'thave a place to go. I know
during the holidays and thingslike that, can you share with
our audience some of thewonderful community impact

(11:16):
events and things that you bringto the college and the
surrounding community? Sure. SoI do organize couple events
throughout the year. One of themis our Thanksgiving gathering.
It's beautiful thing, if no onehas ever gone to it, it's really
a stunning site. It's lovely. Itis. It started very small. As I

(11:38):
mentioned earlier, when I was anESL student. I made my first
friend at our small ESL pod lockso that we had a small
population at the time, so itwas in it just one small
classroom. We were gettingtogether and eating different
types of food from differentcultures. It was great. But as I
said, I made my first friend ata potluck that we had in past.

(12:00):
So I always value that. I thinkstudents who who are the college
they come and go, but there'ssomething that is missing
connection. They have to connectsomehow, especially those who
are coming from differentcountries, as I said, they feel
lonely. So those gatherings aregreat opportunity for them to

(12:22):
meet other people, sure,different countries. And the
best part about the gathering, Ibelieve, is it's not only open
to our international students,so it was open to our community,
and we have like professors andadministrators, students,

(12:43):
American students, they'recoming in, and they're just,
you know, interacting with eachother. I have had so many
feedback. I heard so many greatthings from other students. Oh,
I never had a friend from thiscountry. I never have tried this
type of food before. This isgreat, and we also, I'm the

(13:05):
International Club advisor. Soafter the events, we sometimes
have students volunteering,helping us to put those events
together. That's beautiful, thatyou're bringing that community
and that connection together.What would you say to young
women who are coming to our CBC,they're in your program.

(13:26):
You know, what would you say tothem when they were just like
you? They didn't they came tothis country with not a lot.
They don't know the language,they're scared. They don't know
what to do, where to turn to,what kind of questions to ask,
like you said, they are feelingweak because they don't know
their the language strongenough. What would you tell

(13:48):
them? I will tell them you'renot alone. I'm here, and then I
will, I will support them asmuch as I could. I have. I can
give couple examples,
when last two semesters ago, Ihad a student in my class who,
at the beginning of semester,she was doing great, and then I

(14:10):
realized that after a few weeksin, she started feeling lost,
little bit upset. And I talkedto her after class, you know,
she started crying. She lost herhusband and with two kids, and
she was struggling. She told methat she won't be able to
continue. I told her. I said,it's okay if you take a break,

(14:30):
but I want you to know I'm hereif you need anything. She didn't
come back for a little bit, andthen she emailed me. She wanted
to admit me with Matt. Told herabout my story, and I know I
listened to her, because that'swhat she needed. Sometimes
people just engineer Exactly.Just need to be heard, right? I

(14:52):
did my best to encourage her.She came back, and this is she's
taking classes, and just twodays ago, she made a.
Comment after class made me cry.It just it was she says, I'm so
glad I'm back, and my kids areso proud of me because I didn't
give up. I'm learning English. Ican communicate now. So

(15:12):
beautiful thing mother, she feltgreat because she want to be
strong for her children Exactly.Oh, I have so many stories. I
had another one
in the same situation. She wasfrom Vietnam. She was here with
two kids alone. At some point,she wanted to give up, but she

(15:33):
didn't have any friends. I askedher to attend one of the
gatherings we had. She madefriends, and she continued her
education after she took us all,then I helped her. She
transferred to Drexel, and sheloved cooking. She became chefs.
She's moving on so many greatthat's my job. That's that's the

(15:54):
part I like, I love. It's sorewarding. So if someone comes
in and say, I'm scared. That'swhat I will tell them, Don't be
scared. You can do this. Youhave to work hard, and you will
get there. And I always tellthem, You're not alone. So I
think they have to feel that.That's what I felt when I came

(16:17):
here and I had great people thatsupported me. So that's what I'm
telling them. That's what I willtell them. I will keep continue
and looking them and lookingback on your amazing
achievements, right? You wentundergrad, you got your master's
a doctorate. You're now, I knowyou're flying all over, giving
talks about different papers andpresentations, and we're so

(16:39):
proud of you here in the rcdccommunity, it's just a wonderful
thing. Did you ever think youwould get there? You would be
where you are today, a doctorand working here in academia,
and that girl on the bus withthe $300
and the framed picture of herparents with the small luggage?
Did you ever think that this wasattainable? Of course, way back

(17:03):
then it seemed it wasn't like Ididn't think that I will get
that far. I knew that at thebottom that I will achieve my
goals.
So one thing that my mom told meI was little scared before I
came here, and she was verysupportive. It was funny that my

(17:24):
mom, my mom, didn't have aneducation. She got married so
young, she didn't
go to school. She had to takecare of her siblings, so in her
she was a single mom. When shewas 27 her husband passed away,
so she had to raise three kids.So she was a very strong woman,
strong woman to get throughthat. Yeah, and that's why we

(17:46):
love, we love to support themhere at rcbc, so strong and
empowering women here on Brian sand you're one of them, so kudos
to you. She valued education, sowhen I told her about my dream,
what I want to do, she didn'teven know where America was. She
was like, Where are you going? Isaid, I want to go to America.
She's very sad. Don't worry,it's not too far.

(18:08):
Don't worry, mom, 1000s of milesaway, but I'll be okay. And
then, after I got my tickets,one day, it was kind of getting
close to my trip, and I wasscared of Chris lipid, and she
she and I were talking, she sherealized that I was little
scared. She says, Hey, don'tworry, there's nothing you can
lose. You have your round tripticket. If nothing works out,

(18:30):
just come back. I'm here foryou.
Knowing that helped me a lot. SoI knew at the bottom, yes, I I
knew that. I never imagined thatI will get that far, but I knew
at the bottom. I was raised by avery strong woman that I would
never, ever give up. So myanswer is no at some point, but

(18:53):
yes, I always at the bottom. Mymom believed in me, but I also
believed in myself. So what'sreally beautiful I think about
what you just said and yourstory and your journey. I'm sure
you promote this, and thisexudes from you in in the
classroom. So what are some ofthose things that you share in
the classroom with your studentsthat help promote this? You're

(19:16):
never alone. I'm here. You havedreams and you have goals. I'll
help you never give up. What aresome of those things that you
you try and promote in theclassroom?
So because of my background, asI said, it helps a lot in the
classroom. So basically, whenI'm I'm teaching writing,
reading and speaking classes. Soeven one simple like, if I'm

(19:40):
teaching and grammar. So Ialways give them examples of my
mistakes, silly mistakes that Imade, like how I felt when I
was, you know, hesitate to speakbecause of my accent. Sure. So
that helps a lot. So I give themexamples so you connect with
them on a level.
Exactly. So it's not just mybackground, how I worked and

(20:04):
give them example and tell themmy story, but I also help them
understand and it's okay to makemistakes. You learn from your
mistakes in any way you canthink of. And I think that
that's a beautiful thing,especially at a community
college that we work in, becauseI think making you a real person

(20:24):
is really what helps thestudents connect to you. And I
think that's a really beautifulthing that you're saying, like,
this is really what happened tome. This is my story. I'm just
like you. I was once you, andthis is, you know, how I got
Harry, and they can relate. AndI think that's a beautiful
thing, that sense of communityand trust with your students

(20:46):
true. You worded very well,community and trust. What are
some other things that you liketo share in your classroom? Kind
of what it what's the air andthe vibe? Because I can, I mean,
I just by talking to you rightnow, I feel like I want to sign
up, even though I don't. I don'tknow if I don't need ESL, but I
would love to take it. Maybe Icould do the writing and the

(21:08):
grammar that we could alwayswork on that, because I feel
like I might be using chat GPT alittle bit too much. But So tell
me, what's the kind of culturethat you you you have in the
classroom?
First thing I have to do astheir instructor, I want them to
I have to make them feelcomfortable. Because they are

(21:29):
learning a new language theyalready know one or two or
three. Yeah, they're alwaysconfident exactly their home,
home language, exactly. So whenyou're learning a new language,
you have to feel comfortable. SoI always provide a warm,
positive environment, so I don't
start teaching right away. Ialways have conversation with

(21:50):
them. Some of them are quiet andsome of them are quiet for many
different reasons. It might betheir personality, it might be
their level of proficiency, orthey maybe had a very terrible
rush morning. They are upset.They don't want to talk, but so
I don't start teaching rightaway. I always have conversation

(22:12):
with them. I ask them questions,I let them ask me questions, and
I do lots of activities wherethey can interact with each
other,
because it's important they usewhat they learn. So I don't just
teach grammar. I love them touse it in writing and in

(22:33):
speaking and talking with eachother, with their classmates. It
also helps them to realize, oh,there are other people like me
who are struggling or who don'tlike this, or they're proud of
their cultures, it just it's theway they connect with each
other. So my classroomenvironment is very, very warm
and positive, relaxedenvironment.

(22:56):
It is little bit
different when it comes to
advanced classes, they aretaking academic classes. They
are getting ready for collegecourses, but it is still even
though they learn serioustopics, we worked on writing a
research paper and my lifeformatting, I'm trying to make

(23:16):
it fun and engaging for them sothey can
participate and feel comfortableanswering questions or being
part of the lesson. Yeah, andit's real world experience,
right? So they're going to takewhat they're going to literally
take from classroom and go out,whether that's getting a job,
having a conversation with a coworker or at home with their

(23:40):
children, or, you know,definitely I think, I think
that's a beautiful thing, and Ithink more teachers should
implement that kind of learningstyle, which is, it's really
beautiful, it's beautiful. It's,I'm sorry for interrupting you,
but it is one thing also. Ithink this is an advantage for
me, because my students arecoming from different cultures.
They bring their cultures to theclassroom? Sure, yes. So get to

(24:02):
work with all these differentcultures, and it's a great way
to learn from them, too. So it'snot just I'm teaching them, I'm
learning from them every classin the more interactive my
classes, the more I learn fromthem, too. And I love that you
use that word interact, becauseyou not only do the
interactivity within theclassroom, you also have a

(24:24):
really strong bond with yourTurkish community and the local
community. Can you tell ourlisteners about some of your
work outside of the classroomand outside of rcbc that you're
building up in those communitiesas well? Sure.
So one thing I
have, and I'm very proud of mypersonality, I am very grateful,

(24:48):
and as I said, I'm very gratefulfor the people who have
supported me, and I'm verygrateful for the opportunities
this country have provided me.So this is my home now, and.
To show my gratitude.
I think one way to showgratitude is to give back to
society. So I live inBurlington, county. I live in

(25:10):
cinemas, and it's been 23 years.
So yes, so
I am trying to give back
so in my community inBurlington, there is a huge
Turkish community
in cinemas, and especially delran Burlington So, and there are

(25:33):
some parents who don't speakEnglish and they're struggling
to communicate with their
school teachers. They they ifthey need to attend a parent
teacher conferences, they haveno one to go. Sometimes they ask
their children, but theirchildren don't speak English
yet. Or sometimes they do asktheir children, but their

(25:55):
children don't want to helpthem. They feel a little
embarrassed. Yeah,unfortunately,
so I volunteer to help in thecommunity. I go to teacher
parent conferences, you know,try to be a bridge between them.
That's such a beautiful thingthat you help out and in such a

(26:17):
unit, it's such a unique way noone would ever really think
about putting that together,that you know you would need
those kinds of services, butthere, yeah, they do, and it's a
really, it's a need. Yeah, it'sa need. And it's not just
schools. They need to go to,lawyer, doctors, doctors
offices, yeah, and it is soimportant to have someone who

(26:39):
can help them to understandeverything clearly. If you go to
a doctor's office if youmisunderstood something, yeah,
sure, it is important. Sometimesthey don't have anyone to help
them. So I am well known in thecommunity. Sometimes
Turkish lady,
females, I have heard your name,and you help, you know people.

(27:03):
So can you help me too? It makesme, you know, it just, it
doesn't put pressure on me. Itmakes me happy. But I'm so busy.
Of course, I cannot helpeveryone, but I do my best to
help if I, if I'm not available,I always find someone else to
help them. Well, you said somereally powerful words today
during our talk, and I've beenwriting all them down, so I'm

(27:25):
gonna, I'm gonna list them, andthen I want you to give me, if
you had a hashtag to live by,what hashtag would that be? So
these are some words that we'vesaid during our conversation
here. Okay, help give backgratitude. Support me. Grateful
gatherings, connection, choice,Destiny, bold dreams, goals,

(27:48):
achieve culture, encouragefeelings, backgrounds.
Imagine, never give up. Connect,warm and positive. If you had a
hashtag to live by, what wouldthat be? Hashtag, gratitude. I
will say gratitude. Well, thankyou more for joining us today. I

(28:10):
loved hearing your story. You'resuch a strong, powerful woman
here at rcbc, we are just it'san honor to have you here, and
we look forward to seeing muchmore of you here at rcbc. Thank
you Baruch. Thank you so muchfor having me. Thank you for
joining us on The Baronesspodcast here at rcbc. Take care.

(28:30):
Thanks. You've been listening tothe rcbc Baroness podcast, which
highlights women in leadershipwhile encouraging listeners to
build their skills, connect withthe community and visualize the
opportunities available to womenin various professions. For more
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(28:52):
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