What You Wish You Knew

Summary This week Alison is joined by Huma and Moira as they discuss ‘What you wish you knew’.

 

Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 2 Ep 6 02:00 – Alison – I’m feeling very frustrated just now that I am still continually telling people the same things about Noah over and over again 04:20 – Moira you mentioned that . If we don’t understand our kids how can we expect others to . One of the challenges with Callum is that he is extremely verbal but he doesn’t really communicate which would be confusing for someone who can see him chatting away but when they talk to him he is oblivious sometimes and not always able to have a back and forth conversation or take on board what someone is saying. He may strike lucky on one of his standard responses fits the question and the person will go away none the wiser but often I’ll be obvious he’s not understood or listened and they wont know what they have to do to make sure he is engaged with him and understanding them. 06:00 – What about Haider, Huma? He is also extremely verbal but is also usually involved with a story in his head.I sometimes rely on his brother to go and check if he was doing what he was asked! 10:00 – What are your experiences or expectations of other autism parents, at the very least they should understand Huma? We can empathise with the feelings of another parent when their child displays certain behaviours. Its funny that we assume, Oh your child has autism, they can be friends with mine!! We wouldn’t do that with neurotypical children. And 9/10 the autistic child doesn’t even want a friend. It’s the parent who needs the other parent to be friends with. 14:00 – Moira have you experienced leaning towards friendships with autism parents – Of course! At the beginning our circle consisted of Orla’s friends and parents but quickly I gravitated towards you guys and people who could relate to what we were going through at the time. Not that our original friends didn’t accept Callum or our situation, they were great but as they grow up and friends change its different and more difficult to integrate children with differences into new groups. 18:00 – Huma, my experience of a child with autism with more behaviours than my child is probably the same experience for friends of neurotypical children with my child! I don’t ever want to put me or my family in a situation where we might be judged. 21:00 – We push for our kids to have friends for our benefit and because we feel it’s the normal thing to do but just ends up causing stress for us and the child. 23:30 – Mum, Technology is my friend, technology wont hurt me. 25:00 – We should stop apologizing for our childs behaviour and just say, are you ok with this? 27:00 – Also we possibly just shouldn’t intervene and let the child decide if they are happy with a situation. 28:00 – Non verbal cues make it almost impossible for someone outwith the childs immediate circle to understand. Our expectations of society to accept and understand are too high.

 

 

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