You Are Not Your Programming: Healing the Narcissistic Wound with Jerry Wise, Part One

In this part one of two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of narcissism and the concept of self-differentiation. Jerry shares his extensive experience in family systems therapy and explains how self-differentiation allows individuals to grow into their true selves without absorbing the toxicity of others. They discuss the loss of self often experienced by those raised in narcissistic families, the internal messages that keep individuals stuck, and the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy guilt and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of personal growth and healing in overcoming the effects of narcissism.

Takeaways

• Self-differentiation is crucial for personal growth.
• Narcissistic families often hinder the development of a true self.
• Healing involves getting rid of family programming. Shame and guilt can be healthy or unhealthy.
• It's important to separate true feelings from system feelings.
• You can maintain relationships with narcissistic individuals by understanding your own identity.
• Self-love is essential for healing.
• Many feelings of unworthiness stem from family dysfunction.
• Understanding the difference between guilt types is vital for emotional health.
• You are not responsible for the programming you received from your family.