Episode 110 - Nothing But The Night (1973)

(00:32):
Offer got to mention it's the Swally Spooktacular, but we'll come back to that later.
How are you today Greg?
I'm very well indeed.
So we'll leave it out of kilter, not that the listeners will understand this because to
the listeners it will be seamless.
Two weeks, a brand new episode will fall into their podcast out box.

(00:53):
So for them, they wouldn't mind you different but for us, not many would be recorded at the
weekend, so they decided to record in the wedding stage.
So it's a mid week, mid week, seven o'clock at night and Dubai from me, pitch black outside.
But I don't mind it.
I don't, I've got to say I don't mind it.
A little change, I think a little change will retain sometimes.
A little change is okay.
The only thing that panics me is that it means only I've got a week to edit this and

(01:17):
I'm going into hospital on Friday for an operation.
But good you says it's only a day thing so I'll be be home on Friday evening and I will
have to stay in bed for about three days.
So it's perfect.
I can sit and edit whilst I'm in bed.
It'll be no problem at all.
Give me something to do and save me from them just because you know, I'll get bored of watching

(01:37):
stuff and reading and stuff like that.
So it'll give me something to do.
So it's probably worked out quite well.
Well indeed, do you want to tell the listeners what your operations for or it's not like
it's nothing about us and it supposes it.
I started in Paris and I've got a hernia, so I'm in a hernia operation done.

(01:57):
So second time, I'd want 20 years ago.
So I know what to expect.
Although obviously the advances of medical technology mean that it's going to be keyhole
surgery this time rather than the last time it was quite a large scar.
So I should just have a small scar but yes, having a hernia.
So I'll be laid up for a few days and probably give it a week before I'm walking properly

(02:20):
again.
But that's okay.
It's fine.
Very good.
Well, I hope that you catch up on some, perhaps some television that you may or may not have
neglected over the last few weeks when you'd be watching like Street Hawk and Bullseye
and only Fools and Horses.
I've saved a few things especially for that.
So I'm very excited.

(02:40):
Except it's tomorrow.
The Vincent Mann documentary comes out.
It's tomorrow.
I know what I'm doing with the weekend though.
So I'm going to save that and I'm going to watch Raybus.
And that there's that new BBC show about the night train.
Yes.
James Cosmos in it.
So, so there's what's her name from, it's got the forgotten her name but she's in two doors

(03:03):
down and the Barbie film, Shad and Rune.
Oh, Shad and Rune.
Yes.
Yeah.
So I think I'll watch that because I spoke to my sister a couple of nights ago and they've,
it's one of those things that it's on weekly on the BBC but they uploaded all the episodes
onto I Player that night.
So although only one episode's been shown in the UK you can watch all six on I Player.

(03:26):
Right.
It's strange to do that.
Anyway, they've yeah, watched all of them.
So yeah, they said it's brilliant.
So I think I'll watch that as well.
And I've still got the last series of the boys and I've got a new series, well the first
few episodes of Only Murders in the building as well.
So I've got plenty of stuff to watch and I love to watch whatever you pick next.
Yes indeed.

(03:46):
For the, yeah, for the Swally and I'll probably end up watching what I'm going to
pick.
Well, yeah, next and then, yeah, so plenty of stuff to keep me entertained.
Very good.
Very good indeed.
Well, I think it's time that we trolled through the tabloids to see what's been going on in
Scotland.
So as we're recording on a wednesday, why don't we swap over?
Should we have a look at what's been going on in Scotland for the last couple of weeks?

(04:09):
Curie-Gengle.
[Music]
Hello.
This is the Outdoor Heaven East broadcasting company.
And here is what's been going on in the new.
Okay Greg, what have you seen in the news over the last couple of weeks that has caught your
eye and you'd like to share with me and our lovely listeners?

(04:31):
Well, this one.
I mean, I feel a bit sorry for this guy, although I can understand his friends' outrage,
but this story comes on the day of the record on 23rd of September, just a couple of days
ago.
The headline reads, "Scott's Man in Court" after being caught munching crisps in bedroom in
Prank Gone Wrong.

(04:52):
Brian Galbraith decided to prank his friend Steven Dawson when he was out at the pub
one night last October, perhaps trying to get into the Swally Spooky Spectacular spirit.
The prank involved the 43-year-old, making his way into his neighbour Mr Dawson's home
in Yoker in Glasgow.
Mr Dawson then returned around 10pm and he instantly clocked that some of his belongings had

(05:17):
been moved around and there was a window open, a panicked and he feared that someone had broken
in while he was out at the pub.
The Fiscal Caitlin McAllister then told Glasgow Shed of Court, "He went to his spare room
and could hear the noise coming from his cupboard.
Mr Dawson opened it and outpopped his friend Galbraith munching a packet of crisps."

(05:38):
He told Mr Dawson, "I was just going to give you a fright."
Galbraith soon left when he realised that his friend wasn't amused.
Mr Dawson then went on to the port Galbraith of the police the next day, leading to him being
arrested.
The dad told officers, "I was just trying to play a prank and sneak up on him.
I went back and apologised to him this morning.
I realised that he didn't take it as a joke.

(06:00):
I am remorseful and embarrassed."
Galbraith is now taking guilty to a charge of threatening and abusive behaviour in connection
with this incident.
They must have had a bit of a row after.
The court heard that Galbraith had previously been in the armed forces with a loyal logistics
corpse which involved a six-month tour of duty in Afghanistan.

(06:20):
The head into the prank, his lawyer, Christy McGee, said, "It is bizarre behaviour.
He was found in the cupboard eating a packet of crisps."
Prior to this, they were friends, they were beside each other, they would go in and out
of each other's flats all the time.
Shed of Anna reads, "Fine Galbraith, who now works for IKEA, £245.
She said, 'This was an ill-judged practical joke which caused Mr Dawson a fright.'

(06:43):
So I think Mr Dawson is just a little bit just come down a little bit.
I'm sort of like no harm, no felt, right?"
"There must be more of this story because if it's your friend and neighbour and you're
in and out of each other's house, it's not that he's broken in.
Depends if he's done damage breaking in."
But it's just a bit of a joke.
There's more of this story I think that meets the eye because you have to be a bit

(07:05):
of a prick to go to the police, like if you or a mutual friend or something did something
like that.
And even it doesn't matter how pissed off I was, I would like he's no one to pissed off.
But the next day would all be friends again, doesn't it?
Go to the police.
I know, it seems like it must be something more to it to your point.
I mean, he's maybe kicked up, maybe like Galbraith has come out the cupboard eating the crisps

(07:27):
and the Dawson said, "Money Stumman, if I'd had a bit of a square gold nearly or something
like that, I don't know."
But it sounds like it, because you said it sounds like he was charged with something else as
well, so threatening behaviour.
So it does sound like maybe it has been like, "Oh, can you just take a fucking joke?"
Yeah, it's just a joke.
And then it's gotten to a bit more, but it's a bit of a stupid fucking prank to do as

(07:47):
well, anyway, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
I mean, today I could understand if you like, let it out, will they come mask on and brand
this shit like, a weapon or something?
Like a Michael Myers mask or something, just sort of trying to really shut him up.
But who knows?
So your point is probably more to it, right?
Yeah, there has to be, then just sitting in a cupboard, eating a packet of watsits and getting

(08:08):
up set with her first crisps that came in mind.
Maybe he was eating watsits and he's inadvertently wiped his orange fingers up over and closed
or something that was in the cupboard and that's what's got to do with it.
Yeah, that's a watsit stain, that's not good as it.
What's it?
What's it dust up over Mr Dawson's wedding suit or something like that?

(08:29):
Yeah, that'd be terrible.
Best prank you've ever played on someone?
Oh, I don't know, put me on the spot there, I can't think.
The best prank I had, I wasn't really involved with, I've heard of, is a friend, a friend
of a friend of ours was, he still is, he's a, I have to watch what I say here, he's
on the telly.
Oh, he's a news reporter, right, local news.

(08:53):
And a couple of them started sending him fan mail from a female, but it was them.
Obviously.
Right.
And he was responding back to it and this went on for a few months and then they'd sent
in a photo of some girl they found on the internet and arranged a date and then he walked
into the pub and they were all there and laughing at him.

(09:15):
Yeah, maybe a bit of a bad prank.
Think he got quite upset, but I wasn't really involved in that.
I can't think, we've probably played a few good pranks on on each other over the years,
but I'm trying to think, what about yourself?
You got anything?
I was thinking, I was sure I think as well there.
I did remember one spring's to mind that I might have told this on the podcast before,
but it used to work with like a really, really good guy called Colin, I won't mention

(09:39):
he's saying, just in case he's still sensitive about it.
But like my late father was, as you know, a very keen hunter and fissure and he was, I was
going out to my dad's after work one night and I was in the restaurant on Paisley Road
and my dad had a duck that he shot, that another guy who he worked with said that he would

(10:01):
have, he said he would take it home and he would pluck it and he would be cook it.
So I went to show it to Colin and all Colin's wasn't a vegetarian.
He got a bit of a squeamish and he's behaving a bit of a silly way, which I felt poised
to exploit.
So you'll remember on the old, on an old version of Windows about, well over 20 years ago,

(10:21):
your screen saver, you could sort of type up like a banner that would move across the screen
remember.
So what I did was just before I left, I sort of propped the duck up using the stapler so
it was sort of looking at the screen and I typed, and I typed quack, quack on the banner
right?
And then I locked the office door and went away with my dad's, the two of us laughing like

(10:44):
drains when I told him the hilarious prank that I played on Colin who's shift it was
that night.
And about 20 minutes later we see the angry phone call from Colin because it hadn't occurred
to me that there was still blood in the duck.
So Colin then just went to the office to like a little expired duck and a funny message
in his screen.

(11:05):
He came into a little expired duck sitting in a pool of blood on the desk.
Jesus.
And our mutual friend, not our mutual friends, but my name is Colin's mutual friend who
wasn't as femicious as him had to had to tidy it all up so I had to be quite a contract
with Colin the next time I saw him it took my way all to forgive me.
Yeah, you're lucky you didn't end up in court for that Greg.

(11:27):
Yes, actually.
Yeah, well this was like in 2000 and when this had been in 2003, that's way too years ago.
It's acceptable then to be really heartful pranks on people that you're late with dead
duck, dead animals.
I'm not proud of it anyway.
So yeah, so that's poor Brian there 245 quad lighter and I don't know probably now has

(11:51):
the passes, neighbor and silence, that walkerness there anyway.
That's my first story this week, which you're welcome.
You'll like this one Greg.
This is very much a swallow centric story I would say.
So you're taking a drink there.
I'll wait for you to finish because you might, I'm hopeful you're going to laugh at this.

(12:13):
This is from the daily record this week and the headline reads Glasgow airport cordoned
off after huge poo discovered on floor.
Cordoned off.
Scott's airport staff were forced to clean up a massive poo in the departure lounge after
someone dropped a log in the middle of the floor and kept on walking holiday makers were

(12:36):
forced to jump over the offending material at Glasgow airport as staff tried to block
it off as captured in a hilarious video.
The clip posted on tiktok showed a wet floor sign that was placed over the largest part
of it and it was left of the floor while a smaller chunk sat a few yards away.

(12:59):
The person recording the video says some deesh just shite as he pans from the smaller piece
to the larger piece up it further back.
A young man rinds the corner and has to adjust his footing to avoid stepping in it.
Whilst the man behind him peers at the poo as he gives it a wide berth.
The man filming zooms in for a close up and says "look at that, you should get right

(13:23):
you to your trussers!"
An airport worker could be heard saying "obdeling without the dew as an easel stand was placed
over it."
The man keeps it yo in continues.
After the wet floor sign was placed over the biggest piece.
Some deesh full on took that straight through their trussers.
Look, there's a cord in through it.

(13:46):
In the 43 second clip he continues to film as passengers pulling cases narrowly avoid making
contact with the excrement as he says "we're getting close here guys!"
The video was posted on the airsharkoo account with Glasgow airport at the tag location.
Some of these have been in a rush for the departure gate.

(14:08):
They've had to drop a log in the middle of departure as they kept on walking.
The clip was shared with nearly 1000 people and attracted a number of comments with one viewer
joking it would change how they would pass through the departure lines on their next trip.
They said "so I fly out in holiday in two weeks and I'll now be staying at the floor
and not staying straight ahead, making sure my white trainers stay white."

(14:31):
It's not clear who was responsible for the mess.
Or where they were headed to on holiday.
Why is that important?
Glasgow International Airport was approached for a comment.
There you go Greg, somebody has done a shite on the floor and departures.
They've shot themselves and just let you slip out.
They should have been wearing job-y catchers.
This wouldn't have happened, but I was so chuffed when I discovered that you hadn't read

(14:55):
the story.
Yeah, just insane that someone would do that.
Just have a shite on the floor.
The fact that someone crashed attempted to crash an exploding car in the Glasgow airport
and things just continued as normal.
They call most immediately.
2005 or so, 2007.

(15:17):
Someone does a big job in the concourse and it's like an international incident.
It's big news.
Someone dropped a log in the middle of the floor and kept walking.
Fucking hell.
Takes balls to do that, surely.
This toilet is everywhere in an airport.
You can't be in that much of a rush.
Yeah, I know.
There's no one you've got to go, but you can always make it to a toilet.

(15:37):
This toilet is everywhere in your airport.
Yeah, there's no excuse me.
What's over?
It's absolutely disgusting.
I can't imagine ever being in a few stories in this valley over the years where I remember
there was one in Benfermalin the year away.
You know the parts, grounds, people complaining about people shiting in the gardens, remember
that?
Like a few years ago, and of course we had a big, a very early one when evidently somebody

(16:01):
had somehow got some shit into a freezer and ice for it.
Don't look yes.
Still one of my favourites.
Yeah, but like, yeah.
I mean, it's actually a bit of a, a bit of a nightmare.
Like, you know what, I mean, like being that caught that short that you can even make it
into the toilet.
Could you possibly imagine though?
I'm sorry.

(16:21):
If you're eating or anything, if you're eating, you should be listening to this podcast,
but I should have warned probably before I told that story.
But you imagine you're going away on holiday or something and okay, it's in departure
so your big luggage is on the plane, well, getting to the plane.
But you've got your little carry on case, you're trundling along and you accidentally roll
it through that shite.

(16:42):
That's in the, that's not just, you can't just wipe that off the wheels.
That's in the mechanism of the wheels and on the undercarriage bit, you're never getting
to smell a shite out of that suitcase.
Yeah, you can have to burn it.
So the holiday ruined, isn't it?
Or if you step in it in your shoes and then you've got to sit on the plane with your shoes

(17:03):
smelling like shite.
I've never, I was thinking a bit about that kind of thing today because for whatever reason
I wanted to, I was thinking about my granny, like my mum's mum and I was thinking about
the first flat I remembered her living in when I was a wee boy, which was in this sheet called
Scalpy Place in the Milton and Glasgow.
So I was so busy at work that I had to be look on Google Sheepview to see if the, if

(17:28):
the house was still there.
And it's all like, the funny thing is like the road is still there, but they've knocked
down all the tenements and just sort of a landscape to round it.
And I'm sure that probably at some point there was high ambitions for that land, but because
it's the Milton, they're just fucking, just left it and it's just all sort of slightly

(17:49):
scruffy looking bits of grass and things.
And remember, it was just something that happened regularly in the eight, where it can
be in the early eighties was stepping and shite.
Obviously, there's been a lot of campaigns to get people to pick up their dog shit and stuff.
You know what I mean?
But like, whenever, I thought, "I would arrive at a grandparent's house, before I could

(18:09):
step over the threshold, but we're all told to check our shoes."
Check your shoes, check your shoes, for you to come in in case anybody had accidentally
stepped and shite.
And I'm like, "It must have just been, you know, with the sea shite in this sheet's
these days because most people are quite responsible when it comes to up in their
dogs."
And not that many people just stalled and squat and shitting the sheet, even in a glass

(18:33):
go right, so...
But it certainly back then it was, like, the sheets of glass go like a fucking main field.
Yeah, you're right.
I guess it is.
It's not as common nowadays to step in shit, which is good, obviously.
Yeah.
Very good thing, because there is nothing worse.
Yeah.
Because you can just, you can never really get that the tread of your, just really just

(18:53):
trainers.
It depends on the the tread you've got, but most treads are quite intricate and like,
"Ah, you just, you're never getting that out."
And then you've got to throw away a brush, because if you have to use a brush to get it
out, and there's also the worry, this is the fear of me the most, is of you're cleaning
your trainers, you're holding it like under a tap and scrubbing it.

(19:17):
Like a bit flies up and hitching the face, you know?
Yeah, you look at my shoes and make some kind of protective underwear.
Yeah, fucking biochemical suit to do that.
Yeah.
I think you just need to, well, that's, there's a podcast that we listen to, and I think
presenter regularly tells the story that he'd stepped in dog shit and came home and he'd

(19:37):
stepped in his door mat and he's like, "I threw away the trainers and the door mat."
Yeah, you're right.
You're going to buy like a hundred quits to get a new door mat, because just, because I
just couldn't have it anymore.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's just, no one understands just how life altering stepping and shit can be throwing

(19:57):
your best trainers at.
Yeah, thankfully it sounds like nobody stepped in this, this excrement in the departure lounge
at Glasgow airport.
So they, they covered it with an easel and the wet floor sign?
Yes, a wet floor sign.
The largest part, there was still a smaller part left uncovered.
I don't know what happened to that.
It was a fucking massive, yeah.
Sumo wrestler visiting Scotland or something like that, you know what I mean?

(20:20):
I don't want to go into this too much, but I guess I'm, it was me that brought up the story,
but how does someone do that and how are they then getting on a flight?
Like, there must be some residue there.
So I know it was smelly, people smell it in the plane, right?
Yeah, it's going to be, it might have been a sheet, I don't know, but yeah, it's going

(20:40):
to be stinking a shite, sitting under a flight and sitting down for the next.
Maybe that's why it's important with what it's in a way that we're going.
Was it just a 45 minute flight or was it a 7 hour flight?
Because I mean, okay, you can go to the bathroom and clean up afterwards, but you're still
going to be uncomfortable, your bum hole is going to be itchy.
Yeah, and that's how you look, like, the sort of aeroplane ball grow, so often not of the

(21:02):
highest quality, you know?
I don't know if I've ever done a shite on a plane, actually.
You must have.
I don't think I have.
I was flights between, I was flights between Scotland and Dubai.
So they have 7 hour flight?
How often do you shit?
Yeah, but it's time of the flight, isn't it?
Yeah, it's the first thing in the morning, we even, it's a Glasgow.
Yeah, you just, like, I, I'm pretty, I would say, get up, have a sip of coffee and then I'm

(21:26):
away.
Are you really?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm not doing that.
I'll, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get up, first sip of coffee, then I'm straight to the toilet,
then that's me done, yeah.
I'm about, I'm about, I'm about a mid-morning man, you know?
Okay, yeah, man, see.
My coffee has to go down a little bit before the reaction happens.
Well, there you go, uh, Swally listeners.

(21:46):
Now you know what the Bible habits of Greg and I.
Yeah, so, if, uh, another Pete Bein, the curtain there.
If Andrex or Shore Manor and we'd like to sponsor us, you can get in touch with us,
cultureswally@gmail.com.
Yeah.
Okay, Greg, yeah.
What's your second story this week?
Well, this is like another, it sort of rings of some early stories, when we were, but

(22:08):
young, swashbuckling podcasters as opposed to the mature, wise, statesmanly podcasters
we are now, um, but this one is from me, the may of those, heady days.
So it comes from the day their record, and today the headlight needs a blunderring Scott
caught with 14,000 pounds worth of cocaine after leaving fingerprints on the bag.
A keyron, Ramsey 19, I'm going to picture it looks bit 14, answered the door to the police and

(22:33):
let them in, but then ran away with, but ran away when they started to look around the
property.
Um, officers found the bag of cocaine, sitting on a shelf, and when tests were carried
out, it was found to contain nearly 150 grams and belong to Ramsey.
Ramsey of Primrose Crescent in Perth, case anybody's looking for, we've done, uh, I'd

(22:54):
hit it being concerned.
In the supply of the Class A drug, when he appeared at Dundee Shed of Court, the court
heardly handing himself in days after fleeing, but then he fell asleep during a phone call
to be solicitor because it smoked so much weed.
Uh, the fiscal deputy, Joanne Ritchett, told the court, "Please got a call from an anonymous

(23:16):
member of the public about an ongoing party and potential drug dealing."
Officers attended and they could hear music coming from within, "Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, I bet that's what it sounded like.
They knocked, and the door was answered by Ramsey.
He was informed that they required to come in.
He stated it was just himself and a friend.

(23:36):
When the accused ran out of the front door and out of the block, he was pursued but lost
the site."
She said, two days later, the accused presented himself at Perth's station.
He was cautioned and arrested.
It took considerable time to rouse him.
He appeared to me, heavily under the influence and was unable to keep his eyes open, and he
was on steady on his feet.

(23:56):
He stated that he had taken cannabis.
He got, he got to phone a solicitor, but he appeared to fall asleep mid, mid phone call.
I've all fallen asleep on the phone.
You know what I mean?
Maybe not to speak.
I see.
No, that's a solicitor.
Yeah.
Sheriff George Way, the Ferd Sentence for the ports to be presented to the court on
the 23rd of October, and Ramsey's bail was continued.

(24:19):
So that's it.
Short and sweet, but it just made me laugh.
I don't know what he thought was going to happen, because obviously he's got a big bag
of powder there.
He's finger prints all over it and he's thought to himself, the best thing he could do
when the police arrived has let them in.
Then one might fuck.
Well, at least you know, when they're having a look around their backs turned and you can
run, yeah.
Yeah.

(24:40):
That's, that's, do you, with all fall asleep on the phone?
Have you fall asleep on the phone before?
Yeah.
I was, I was think, I was think, after I said that, I was thinking, have I fall asleep on
the phone and I, and I have.
And I remember, I had, I had separated from probably my first serious girlfriend.
So it'd been together for a couple of years.
And we had lived together for about nine months or something, but obviously wasn't to

(25:02):
be.
So I, but I broke up with her and I moved in with my pal Dale, who you know in the
gathering.
And we were out a couple of weeks after him and I were out one night, a couple weeks after
we had moved in together and she was in a pub.
She was in the illicit still.
I didn't see her.
So I went to the toilet and Dale went to the bar, but Dale, when he saw her came to the

(25:25):
bar and said, oh, shit, you have to be put out.
Probably about.
Your next girlfriend's here.
You still want to stay here?
And I said, no, that's go, what I didn't realize was that her friend had seen us basically
come in and leave.
So anyway, we got out of here.
If you drink, went home, went to our beds and she called me and she was quite upset that

(25:45):
I hadn't even gotten spoken to her.
I'm not proud of that, but I was only like, you're like, what?
You're not, you're not.
You didn't see her.
Yeah, but I knew she was late and I could have gone and spoke to her.
I mean, anyway.
Yeah, so the conversation went to, do you think we could have another go?
We just lived together and I was like, no, and we're just talking and then I did nod off
and she was just talking.

(26:07):
And I don't think that she detected that I nodded off, but I kind nodded off for maybe
a good few minutes.
And because I came around again to her voice, still talking to me.
She was going on for that long, was she?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think I can't remember if she realized that I nodded off or not, or if I told her
that it had, but yeah, it was a fucking, it was a long night.

(26:29):
Of the soul for both of us.
You're falling asleep in the phone?
No, I don't think so.
I'm pretty certain I haven't.
Like, I've fallen asleep whilst maybe texting as in, been a text conversation with someone
and then falling asleep and then, you know, having to say the next day, like, sorry, I fell
asleep, but nothing.
I know a time that you fell asleep at an unfortunate time.

(26:50):
And you were, when was that?
When you were masquerading as one of the Aberdeen first team and you fell asleep in your
bathroom?
Yes, I did.
Until the next morning.
Fuck it.
Shall I tell the story?
Fuck it, why not?
Yeah.
I had been out one night.
I used to tell people I played for, I mean, I've been out for 22, 22, 23 years or something at

(27:13):
the time.
And when I used to go out, I used to tell ladies that I played for Aberdeen.
And sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
And one evening it worked.
I took a young lady home.
She was in the bedroom just having fun.
And then I went to go to the toilet and I sat down to have a pee because I was a bit drunk

(27:36):
and I was like, I'll sit down and have a pee.
And the next thing I knew was about seven hours later woke up in the toilet.
I'm not going to lie covered in piss and had to have a quick shower and then go back
through to the bedroom.
She was asleep and she was like, where were you?
I was waiting for you and I was like, oh, what could I say?

(28:00):
I had a phone call or something.
I was like, I fell asleep and I told her, I'm so sorry.
I got called to some emergency night training.
But totally true.
Still bad for her.
What if she used to use the toilet in the night?
Because obviously it was occupied.
What was the name of the theater again that you attended to be?
Rookie Foster.

(28:20):
Rookie Foster.
Just imagine if the next day in the front of the evening express or something.
After a teen's rickety Foster falls asleep in toilet leaving even girl unfulfilled or
stupid like that.
You'd be like, what?
I'm never.
No, I made up for it in the morning, don't worry.
After a shower.

(28:41):
I do think that's going to be headline news in the press in general.
What the press is going on?
It'll be a bit of a food headline news in the sun, maybe not headline news, but maybe
on page four.
Like, footballer leaves girl unfulfilled.
I don't think that's going to make it.
Unless it was a superstar, but no, Rookie Foster definitely wasn't at the time.

(29:03):
No, well, never mind.
It's all part of the journey of the rickety, isn't it?
It is.
It's all part of the journey.
That's why I picked Rookie Foster because it's so close to Nicky's.
Sounds similar.
Anyway, that's, uh, O'Keeerin, sure he'll be doing some time at his majesty's pleasure

(29:24):
for 14 grand worth of chalk.
That's my second story, which is your next one this week.
Well, speaking of the headlines in the press in general, my next story is from the Aberdeen
Press in Journal last week, Greg.
A laughing job who flooded his flat and the one below him, to police officers, he wanted
to make a slip-in slide.

(29:44):
[laughs]
J.W. Wallace, 19, blocked his bath with a latex glove and ripped up the bathrooms' water
poof-flooring.
The overflowing water saturated the wooden floor underneath the tiles and formed huge pools
in the hallway, dripping quickly through the ceiling of the flat below.
Both flats in the accommodation on Ackert Road had to be vacated because of the extensive

(30:09):
water damage.
The fiscal dispute, Brooklyn Shaw, told Aberdeen Sheriff Court that at around 5.20pm on
September 23rd, 2003, Wallace was seen to enter a communal bathroom at the block.
Signs of a disturbance were heard and once Wallace left, staffs investigated and found significant
damage in mess.
One of the toilets had been damaged and he had also thrown bleach and fairy liquid

(30:32):
all over the floor, and even the ceiling.
When staff went up to confront Wallace about the damage, they noticed there was a significant
amount of steam within his flat, as well as a sign of water running and the smell of detergent,
mis-shortled the court.
The member of public who lives below the accused had fresh wet patches on his ceiling that
were dripping, indicating a leak coming from the accused flat.

(30:53):
Staff suspected Wallace was deliberately flooding the property, but he refused to let them inside
and could be heard laughing behind the door.
Police were called, an officer has gained entry to the flat to find the hallway flooded
with large pools of water.
Water resistant tiles in the bathroom had been ripped up, exposing wood, the pluck hole
in the bathroom and blocked wood-to-taste gloves, and Wallace provided various inconsistent
explanations to the officers.

(31:15):
First he told them he had forgotten the bath was running, then he claimed he'd slipped
and fallen, causing the water to splash out of the bath.
Finally, Wallace admitted he wanted to make a slip-in slide.
Finally he admitted.
He continued to laugh throughout the interaction and asked if he was getting lifted for a
bit of water.

(31:35):
Due to the flooding, both Wallace and his downstairs neighbour had to be rehoused.
Wallace, whose address, was given to Erker Road, Aberdeen, pled guilty to a charge of malicious
mischief over the matter.
He also admitted separate charges of behaving in a threatening and abusive manner, shoplifting,
threatening a shop worker and breaching bail conditions.
"Defense agent John Hardy says his clients' behaviour had been unpleasant and anti-social.

(32:02):
He's dealing with a case altogether, Sheriff Lindsey Johnson found Wallace £1,690.
So poor guy just wanted to make a slip-in slide.
I thought the bathroom tiles would have been better, or the bathroom line would have been
better than the floor-brooms.
Wooden floor, unless he was going to put down bin bags or something, he'd put down the

(32:23):
fairy liquid and stuff.
So that's the water, the fairy liquid?
Yeah, you're right, the gnome would have been better.
And wooden floor, unless he was planning to put down bin bags, because that would be good."
"You ever been in a slip-in slide?"
"No, I sort of worry that it would be slipping, slidying off and I'll end up scalping my

(32:43):
hairy chest, Tommy, taking my nipples off or something, do you know what I mean?"
"Oh, be good."
"Yeah, I can imagine."
"No, never, never, I'll be able to, obviously, be on water park and stuff."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine."
"Never like a slip-in slide, like a home made one, no."
"No, never fancy that, you're right, because it's got hurt."
"Now wait, you're throwing yourself on the ground and my circles is grass, but you've got

(33:05):
a run out at a fair pelt to be able to do that.
I don't know if we would have had the room to make that."
"To get to get to get a good enough run-up."
"Yeah, this is a sign that there's a lot of room there to make a proper slip-in slide."
"Well, I think that's the first place he's gone wrong."
"Second place is obviously flooding a communal bathroom and the third is ripping up the

(33:25):
linoleum, yeah, but..."
"Yeah, poor Jamie, 19, just wanted to make a slip-in slide, but..."
"I used to live at the Botmockert Road, I used to live at the Botmockert Tennis."
"Well, not quite the Botm, because I made our mutual friend, he lived more or less right at the
Botmockert Road for a while, didn't he, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, I lived in those new flats in the Botmockert Tennis for a year when I first moved

(33:48):
into Aberdeen, it's handy for the beach, for work at the beach, not for going paddling or anything."
"But I've seen online, you can buy these sort of, it's just a slide that you can
click together and it can go on your stairs, so you could basically turn your stairs into like a
slide for your children."
"Okay, but they're quite steep, classic thing, like I've seen some kids absolutely pelting down them."

(34:11):
"And then of course, you need something sort of arrest your trajectory at the Botm,
as well, you might end up going out through the front door."
"You've just unlocked a memory for me, Nair Greg, that I...
I can never, I've never thought about that for years, I remember I must have been about
nine, ten, and I was at my cousin's house in Cullen, and they had like a, their staircase, it was like

(34:34):
a double staircase, you know what I mean, so it wasn't a full staircase, it was maybe, I don't know,
we're talking maybe eight, nine stairs, and I remember us taking all the cushions off the sofa and
putting it up at the bottom of the stairs, right, and it was me and a few other cousins and just
launching ourselves off the top of the stairs into these cushions, and just having a fucking great time."

(34:55):
"That's a lucky good time." "It was, yeah, great time, yeah."
"But like, you know, the parents were there and laughing, so obviously they were like, you know,
it was, it was perfectly safe, but no one got injured, but good at done."
"Supervised fun." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was fun, yeah, it was good fun."
"But yeah, never done a... you've just unlocked a memory for me, which will close the circle

(35:19):
on your first story, and the link it neatly to this story, but I remember, in Coleside,
across the road from my grandma's house, they put it in a new slide, can a slide come, climbing
for you know, as a kid, and my dad let me go across on my own because there were some other kids playing
over there, and I slid down that new slide right through some dog shit at the bottom, so somebody,

(35:41):
somebody had either let their dog shit on the bottom flat part of the slide, or somebody had
picked up some dog shit and put it on this slide. However, it got there, I slid right through it,
and my dad had to walk back home and they shut up the fucking side of my cords, so my bag was
absolutely region." "Oh, fucking cords, oh my god, that's a worse!" "No, needle cords."

(36:02):
"Straight in the washing machine, and I was right in the bath." "Oh, god, cords, that's a worse thing
you want to get shightened." "That's not good at all." "So, what color, when they bring cords?"
"They probably wear, maybe they're black, maybe they're black, not that matter, it's just
all going to stink a shit." "I can sort of see it on my leg and my mind's eyes, so there must have been,

(36:27):
there must have been a color that the dog shit with the studific, studific, the kids."
"And then they weren't beige or white, did they?" "No, nobody sent their kids out in fucking white
trousers in the 1980s, they just are fucking resting out." "Or even white colored trousers, that was just a
recipe for disaster." "Yeah, neatly splicing your two stories together, thing." "Yeah, no, wonderful,

(36:50):
thank you, that's thank you for sharing, it's a wonderful little amalgamation of the two stories there,
fantastic." "So yeah, so that's our hero he's been fined, I'll get him out of money for his
slipping slide, so let's see what he gets up to next, got a funny feeling we'll probably be seeing him
in the news in the near future." "Have you seen anything else this week, Greg?" "No, that's it, that's all,

(37:13):
that's all the news I've got this week." "Okay, wonderful, right, well, before we go on to what we're
going to be talking about today, let's have a little word from our sponsors." "And our sponsor is
Dorick skateboard, a skateboard brand created by Gary Kemp, whose main focus is to explore the people
and culture of Aberdeen and the north east of Scotland, creating designs to reflect life in that

(37:36):
wonderful area that I hail from. Dorick skateboard screen print their own decks in their new studio
by Gary's fair hand, and they have produced some amazing designs over the years, including an
anelenex inspired board, a rubber at the Bruce Dick, and a plenty of pop dick inspired by the old
bonacorn trucks that used to drive around Aberdeen delivering fizzy juice. Dorick skateboards also

(37:56):
replicate these amazing designs onto their clothing, on 100% organic cotton teas, hoodies and sweat
shirts, and they also produce beanies, caps, mugs, pin badges and stickers. Gary regularly collaborates
with local artists to ensure he brings the latest designs to the market, but always with a Dorick twist,
including the latest butt-ray design based on the famous Aberdeen breakfast of champions,

(38:19):
and the beautiful north-field tower design, a love letter to the Eiffel Tower of Aberdeen."
So check Dorick skateboards out for yourself at dorkskateboards.com and follow them on Instagram
@dorkskateboards to see the amazing designs on offer, and we are delighted to be able to offer you
15% off as listeners to this podcast. All you need to do is head to dorkskateboards.com, have a look at

(38:40):
all the amazing decks, stickers, badges, hoodies and teas on offer, and enter the promo code Swally.
That's SWALLLY, same of this name as this podcast, all in block capitals, and get your 15% off.
That's dorkskateboards.com, link in the description of this episode.
Okay, so it was your turn to pick our first SWALLLY, SWALLLY, spooktacular film for the month,

(39:06):
so where do you think you just SWALLLY, spooktacular, 20/24's first film?
Thank you very much Greg. Yes, we are in the, we've got three episodes this October,
and it is this SWALLLY, spooktacular month. So first film I picked, well, we'll discuss it,
shortly obviously, but it's a whole point of this. We're looking at the 1973 film directed by Peter
Sadzee and starring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Diana Doors and Keith Baron.

(39:31):
I can't wait to talk on Keith Baron. It is available on YouTube, it is 1973's Nothing But The Night,
based on the 1968 novel by the same name by John Blackburn. Three trustees of the Van Trailin
Fund have died during the last few months in deaths, looking like suicides. However, after

(39:53):
a mysterious bus accident involving three other trustees and 30 orphan kids, police
Colonel Bingham, Circus for Lee, starts investigating. The first question is why the bus driver
killed in the accident is burned when there was no fire during the accident. Keith Baron uses
hypnosis to find the truth about the mysterious happenings. So Greg, I was basically googling

(40:16):
Scottish horror films, and I found a few that I wanted to do, but I found this one and I was
like, you know what, this is right up Greg in our streets. I'd never seen it, but I was like,
this sounds like a hammer, horror film. This sounds brilliant. This is bound to be good.
And I watched the trailer and I was like, oh, this does look quite good. Had you seen nothing but the

(40:37):
night before watching it for this while? I hadn't seen it before. I've never seen it before.
And it is right up my street. I think I've mentioned on the pod a few times how a big fan of
like the amicus and thology films and the hammer films, the ones that aren't. I mean, I like the ones
that are like the Dracula and the universal monster type ones, the mummy and Frankenstein stuff, but

(41:02):
I like the ones that are just sort of nasty. This one, I don't think this one is like nasty,
like some of the other ones, like the house that tripped blood and all that kind of stuff. Although it
does start with the begins you think, you know, there's like, well, three murders in the first three
minutes of the film. And I was like, right, here we go. But then it sort of becomes, it becomes a bit

(41:28):
of a hood on it before taking a fucking, and we'll get to it. I'm not going to spoil it, but before
taking a fucking mad turn in the last 15 minutes of the film, that I did not see coming whatsoever.
No, me either. That's what I would, if I was to describe this film, as you say, the first five

(41:48):
minutes are brilliant, like really good. The last 15 minutes are just fucking mentally. And that's
what saves this film, like the middle bit. Yeah. It's a bit much, there's too much, but we'll come on
to it. There's a lot of Diana Doherr is just rambling through an island in an apple or a chocolate bar
and stuff. Like, it's like first blood. First blood, if Rambo was played by a woman in a pearly queen

(42:17):
outfit. So this film was an absolute flop, a commercial failure. It was the only production by
Charlemagne films, which was co-founded by Christopher Lee and Anthony Nelson Keys, who was a producer of
many of the hammer horror films. And it was basically set up because hammer and as you said,

(42:37):
Atticus were just doing so well. And Christopher Lee was kind of like, I want a bit of this.
Yeah. So he actually optioned three books from John Blackburn. And that was the plan to set up
this production film studio. This was the only film they ever made. And as you said, it's not,
it's not really a horror film, which is a shame. It is more of like a thriller or a Hugh Dunnett.

(42:58):
Yeah. But it does have like this night kind of supernatural or psychic.
Aspect towards the end. I find it quite funny that this this was made the same year as the
Wickerman. I know. And they're quite similar. And Christopher Lee in both, I don't know which one
was filmed first because it's it's quite odd. The similarity. I mean, there's less people. The

(43:22):
Wickerman's a far superior film to this. But yes, that's, but that's very, very, very,
ugly. Yes. However, I really enjoyed this film. It was a bit slow moving like once they got to
I own stuff, but I was really intrigued by it. I think as you say, the first five minutes are great.
Yep. And then I was, I'm not going to lie, Greg. I was delighted with Keith Barron.

(43:47):
I was enamored with Georgina Brown. Yes. Oh, yes. Gossky.
Oh, that can't be going. And then there was about half an hour. I was, it's not a long film.
It's about over 30, four minutes or something. There was like half an hour in a minute. Like I've

(44:07):
I'll spoil that after we spoil everything. But yeah, after Keith Barron dies, I was a bit like,
no. And then it goes a bit shit. And then it just gets absolutely bonkers towards it.
Yeah. I mean, I was looking at, come back to Christopher Lee. I had a look at the other films that he
put out in 1973. Now, this is an actor who his first credit is in 1948. And his last credit is in

(44:34):
2007, oh, it was just, it's a video game, but he's last, he's last screen credit in 2018. So there's
not many actors that have such a long career. But in 1973, as well as being in this film and the
Wicker man, it was also in a film which I've seen which is very good called the Creeping Flesh, which

(44:57):
the title was just fucking, I'm down for that. It was in, it did his Dracula turn again in the
Satanic race of Dracula. And it was in the massively successful, the Femusca tears with, yeah, Richard
Harris and all those guys. And the year after this was when he got, was when he got to do his Bond villain

(45:18):
and the man with the golden gun. So it's just such a, it's such a mad career because it has something
that's like critically acclaimed like the Wicker man, right? But then I think, I think it, I think it says
more about what the film industry in the UK was like at the time and that, you know, like, I've
got these films probably, or wouldn't have gone much of a release anywhere else in the world,

(45:40):
apart from in the UK. You know what I mean? So you just got to sort of take what you can get. You know,
I think he's in like stuff. He's in a, he's in a French film, hitting 75, called La Boucher Le Starr
et Le Orfin. It's just, it'll just literally go wherever the work is. You know what I mean? Anybody
that's got a job for them. This time he's just going and doing it. It's just, it's not, he's not like,

(46:02):
particularly picky whatsoever. It's just, yeah, I'm there for it. What I would say about Christopher
Leon is though, it's like this, this is the first film he's doing with this production company.
Okay, he's optioned the right, it's like, right, let's do this. Do you know what I think he's just
phoning it in in this film? Yeah, he's, he's roughly, he's not, a part of the last five minutes. Yeah,
when he's, then he goes proper Christopher Leon over the top. Yeah, it's just completely phoning it in

(46:26):
for most of this film. It, it, it, it doesn't know what thing when he's sort of, he's sort of,
kind of, kind of corralling everybody on the island and kind of barking out orders and stuff like that.
He says, we need to get these officers over from the mean land. That was like, you would just have
another go at it, right? You know, just, did no one realise the danger these children were in?

(46:49):
Police have been posted at Inverhouse, not inside the House of Granser, the trustees are
fused to have the children in London. Chief Constable, I want every available man from the mainland.
Inspector, you will organise local volunteers for a search. You will need at least one
helicopter actor. You will allocate it and brief the advanced sections. Would you also brief the party

(47:09):
when it arises from the main land? Inspector, you will set up your control post outside the main
entrance to Inverhouse. Stay there and maintain continuous radio contact. I want every inch of this
island search before nightfall. This is production company. You try to keep the take style. The film
was expensive back in those days. Well, you know, they, I know you're joking, but I wonder if there's

(47:29):
maybe a kernel of truth in that, you know what I mean? Like, it is, you know, he's maybe got his eye on,
his make up, his sort of producer's hat on as well as his actor's hat, you know what I mean? And then
maybe he's decided to your point in the last 15 minutes, right? A better, a better look,
look like, I know what I'm doing here. You know, for the big finale. We've spent all this money in

(47:50):
a helicopter. Yeah, we need to fuck it. Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna,
we need to throw this little ghetto off this cliff on fire. You know, the one thing, I'm not going
to park on the list for Leo the way could spend and I were talking about, but I didn't realize until
I was looking through his extensive filmography that he said, "Please academy admission to Moscow."

(48:13):
So no, you're a piece of academy fan, right? Two nights ago, I was flicking channels. I was about to
go to bed and I was flicking channels and police academy four citizens on patrol was just starting,
and I thought, I'll watch the first 20 minutes. What's the whole film?
Um, fucking lovely scout to me. Don't know did all the piece academy films

(48:34):
got my compilation sorted next week. I've seen all, I've seen the first six so many times,
but I haven't watched, I think mission to Moscow is the only one I think I've only watched maybe once.
It's so bad. It's probably the last one since 1994. Yeah, it's the last one, yeah. I'd say five,
six and seven are the ones I've watched least purely because they're the ones Gutenberg isn't in.

(48:56):
But one for I have watched, I couldn't tell you. Yeah, but I fucking love citizen some patrol.
So there's some good stories about Christopher Lee,
Bollock and Peter Jackson on the set of the Lord of the Rings films because,
I think the new token or close to him and knew the work really well or something like that and

(49:22):
obviously, Peter Jackson's vision perhaps didn't quite align with how Lee thought it should be done.
He wasn't shy about telling him so. Famously I've mentioned it many times. I've seen the first 45
minutes of the first Lord of the Ring film was twice. Yeah, fell asleep at the same point
both times. Never seen anything. Was Christopher Lee basically not like cut out of the third film or
something? So Jackson did enough of his shite or something. He plays a Sadaman who has been, he's like a

(49:50):
wizard who initially is like a colleague of Gandalf's but he what Gandalf doesn't realize is that
he's been corrupted by the dark Lord, Sauron, which is they're confusing, have them Sadaman and
Sauron. I used to get confused. He was supposed to, so I've read the book, all the books, not that long ago,
but I was determined to get through them. I will never read them again, but Sadaman has more of a part

(50:16):
in the third book, but in the third film, you can only, he started this appears in the cinema release,
but if you're brave enough to watch the excruciatingly long directors cut Sadaman's death is in that film,
but it's nothing like it is in the book. It basically throws himself off his tower or falls off his

(50:37):
tower a cat in the member, and apparently that Lee was really fucking annoyed because he could,
because like, I mean, not that his Sadaman's death in the book is particularly dramatic, it's
probably less dramatic in fact, but it was annoyed that Jackson didn't, didn't have more of Sadaman's
story in that third film and killed him off in the first, I think it gets killed off in the first,

(50:59):
within the first hour of a fucking four and a half hour long directors cut, it's fucking
absolutely uncalled for. If you really want to see that much shove all the rings, just read the
fucking books, you know what I mean, they get this, rather than sitting by the set-through Peter Jackson
putting every fucking bit of footage that he cut that he filmed on a bloody four and a half hour,

(51:20):
if you watch them altogether, they got all three films, all three directors cuts, I think it would take
you like 12 hours. Yeah, I never will, Greg, but those 45 minutes I've seen is all I'll ever see,
I'm never, never gonna watch them ever, ever, ever. But I mean, I like, well, do the rings,
I like the books and I like the films, but there's only so much of something like that that you can

(51:44):
fucking, you can impose on an audience, you know what I mean, and what's good in a, what makes sense
and reads well in a book doesn't necessarily track on screen, you know what I mean, which somebody
should really get told fucking Peter Jackson that before he started me. So the film starts in a great
way, as we said, with the death of these three trustees and you have this old woman in a car

(52:08):
and the handbrake is let off and she's off the cliff. That fucking car explodes like it's got a
nuclear bomb on it. Like as soon as it hits the first rock, there must have been a fuck-up there in
terms of the explosion that that happened so quickly, but again, as we've said Peter,
because he was, yeah, he was pushing it, Christopher Lee was probably just like, fuck it, it's fine,

(52:29):
yeah, we'll do it. We'll get a forward to do it again. It was in a hoodie, he had another like four
movies to make that year, you know what I mean? That's what, that's what, that car goes off. I can't
remember what, what film was it we reviewed recently? And I said, the car goes off a cliff or a hill,
and there's no explosion. And fuck what was it? Didn't stay, maybe, or something like that, wasn't?

(52:53):
It was, someone definitely committed suicide. They drove off a cliff. Oh, it was, it was Rebus, it was,
it was black and blue. That was it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes, exactly, that was it, thank you. And,
yeah, obviously, never budget for it, but you know, it's that, that's probably a realistic, but yeah,
this car just blows up as possible. And then you have an old man being thrown off the balcony,

(53:16):
and then you have a woman getting shot, point blank in the face, which was quite disturbing,
to see, obviously, don't see the gun shot, but it was still quite disturbing to see that little
revolver just being pushed pressed up against her flesh. But it's also quite, it's also a little bit
disturbing in another way in the sense that she's, she's not distracted. It's not like, I mean, it

(53:38):
kind of makes sense at the end of the film, but at the beginning it doesn't, because she's just sort of,
she's sort of quite non-plast, you know what I mean? And even the angle of the gun, because we sort
of see her from the perspective of the murderer. And she's sort of, she's not exactly looking right at
the murderer, but she's kind of looking in the murderer's direction and not the actin. So it's,

(53:58):
it's, it's kind of spooky, you know? Yeah, because that's, it's the same, the woman in the car, I was
like, is she already dead before it's pushed over the cliff and then the guy in the balcony, and like,
why is he, all three of them are kind of in a trance? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is, is kind of
revealed at the end of the film, which will, will come on to you. So that, it, it did make sense in a way.

(54:19):
Yeah, but you're right. Then you're thinking, right, this is getting onto a good start. This is,
this is good. And I think then it goes to the bus, doesn't it? With them, with spooky,
maybe, leading everybody in a, leading everybody in a coldest self, bad never ending amount of green
bottles. I never would hear that song ever again. After hearing it so much in this film, it did my

(54:41):
fucking head in the, the 10-B bottles, it was, it was sort of, but yeah, spooky little Mary, played by
when it's strong, it, a, enough to watch that lot of only frozen horses like, like Cassandra. So,
it's mental to see her as this spooky little bitch, Mary. And, you know, some, she is great in this,

(55:04):
like, she's, she's really good. Yeah. But I think being on that bus would probably be the worst
nightmare of my entire life. I'm with a driver when you call some noisy little bastards. Yeah. And then
the poor guy did it, take you back, see in the driver, just sparking up a fog. Yeah.
Trifing all the kids. I don't remember going with a little battle in furnace. We went to

(55:28):
Truvil in France for five days on the school trip and we took the coach. So we drove down to
Port Smith, like the night before, and got the ferry across. And then whenever we went, I think we
went to Paris for the day, went to, went to Normandy for the day and stuff and run the coach. And the
teachers at the front of the coach and the driver were all smoking facts. Do you know what I mean?

(55:49):
I can also remember on a couple of occasions having to go into the staff room at school, usually for
a ballacan at lunchtime, a break time, and it would just be like, like foggy with cigarette smoke.
Like, just teachers just seemed to smoke. And I was a kid, oh, women and men teachers. Yeah, I remember
being in the staff room a couple of times and it just wreaked a smoke. And we'd one teacher,

(56:13):
a Mral Exander, he's probably dead now, so can name him. He was a great teacher actually. He used to,
there was a bush just outside the school grounds. The right next to it, there was a bush that
had looked as clearing and that's where everyone used to go to smoke. And he would come in there and
have a fact with the kids. And if you were over 16, he would be fine with you.

(56:38):
If you were under 16, he used to confiscate your facts.
There's no need you could do. That's probably how he fucking made his fucking fags.
Yeah, confiscate and what my kids, it was brilliant.
Mr. Stragson, he was great. And actually, he looked a little bit like Peter Cushing,
he did. Yeah, he was like tall, thin, gray here. And I'm pretty

(57:04):
Cushing, his wig in this is just spectacular. Like you can see him join in it. And my god, his cheekbones
are just like, I know you could take even all the Chinese cheekbones, can you?
They're just incredible. He's good in this. But I know it's going to sound bizarre. I could have
done with less Christopher Lee and less Peter Cushing and more Keith Barron in this. And I know

(57:25):
that's going to sound bizarre. But and I'm not just saying that in terms of by love for Keith Barron,
that was Cushing's point in this. He's like a pathologist, but he's dead. I don't get the,
he's a point. He's a man of science who comes round quite quickly to the possibility of

(57:46):
a supernatural. Yeah. He does, yeah, very quickly. I suspect that Cushing's in it to maybe just give
a little bit of gravitas to the cast because Keith Barron was a young actor. A fault in McKay,
probably not that way. I'm known at the time. Gambon. I mean, I couldn't even spot Gambon in this,
and make a gamble. No, he said it. He's one of the police officers on the island. This was only his

(58:11):
second ever. Yeah. I didn't spot him. That's all I know was looking for him. But again,
like, so you know, it's just so Christopher Lee's not carrying the, the kind of biggest name in the film.
And probably the fact that I mean, those two had acted in fucking, what, 15 films or something
before this, all the Frankenstein movies and the Dracula, because he always played Van Helsing

(58:32):
Cushing didn't in the Dracula movies. I linked a lot more than that. I'm sure that was like,
well, maybe up to this point, but I'm sure they were in some like 30 odd films together.
Yeah, I don't doubt it at all. Yeah, I've had 100% that you're right there. But I think up until now,
they're like, wait, let's start a lot of movies for, you know, I kind of think of two actors in the

(58:52):
modern times who have appeared in a lot of films together like that. Brad Pitt and Clooney have done
like three oceans films and this one that saw an apple at the minute, this wolves or something,
which the trailer looked quite good for that. But I can't even think of many actors that have
played opposite each other like more than maybe two or three times in modern day.
Carl, Carl Witherson, so this just a little four times. Yeah, three and a half.

(59:18):
You said four and a half. Okay, okay, so it's rare. It's my point. And certainly there's other
things, two actors that have appeared together as often as these two because even though they might
not have acted opposite each other, there's a lot of these anthology type movies where we might be
in one of the stories in Cushing, in Cushing, might be in one of the other ones, you know? That's true.

(59:40):
I think the host that dripped the lot is one where, yeah, I think that's one where they're in two
separate stories, but they're both obviously credited in the film. But I mean, I really like Peter
Cushion. I'll never forget, which is a bit of a strange first kind of memory of Peter Cushion have.
Probably the first thing I would have saw him in would have been Star Wars. But the thing that I'd

(01:00:02):
remember seeing him in first was, I remember my dad, my mum was working and my dad let me stay
up on Sunday night to watch Doctor Who and the Dalek invasion of Earth, where Peter Cushion,
Peter Cushion, face Doctor Who, and just being fucking thrilled by it when I was about five or six
years old or something like that. My favourite thing about Peter Cushion is always the joke about the

(01:00:24):
feed ever married. It would be gob, and then her name would be, would be Cushion.
I should have favoured a thing about Peter Cushion.
Carrie Fisher said that when she was what, she had obviously had to act opposite him in Star Wars,
and she said that she kind of struggled because obviously he's playing this my level and baddie,

(01:00:45):
but she said that it was so nice like when they weren't shooting. She said it was just such a really nice
sort of old English gentleman that she couldn't quite, she couldn't quite marry this lovely man
that she would have a cup of tea with when they weren't shooting with this like my level and
sinister kind of despo, that he's playing in Star Wars.

(01:01:06):
Lovely, I love hearing stories like that, that's so nice. I was going to say they just spot the
copy of the binon, they're on the bus crash, they think the binon get any money for,
they don't put any money in for having one of the gett, he's sat very quick, a couple of
seconds when the gett will just read in the binon in the bus. I did notice that, but yeah,
no, I probably, they wouldn't have got much money for that I would imagine, but yeah, that was,

(01:01:28):
yeah, I forgot to spot what they were reading, was it a particular,
I was just, I only saw the cover, just the cover, I just, I just wondered if DC Thomson had maybe
stopped 100 quid and these backpocket, you know, your children can get free binos and bandies for
as long as they want if you put it in your first film, their brother. After the, after the bus crash,

(01:01:51):
they are in the hospital with Mary, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, and the word that Mary is on
is called the Peter Pan word, which I thought was lovely, reminding me a children's ward,
who am I? Children's ward. I do, I still hate children's ward. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was
a rare sort of children's drama that was actually allowed to watch only because my mum was a nurse

(01:02:16):
and it was setting a hospital. Well that's right, you weren't about allowed to watch Green Shell, were you?
Or Baker Groove, or Baker Groove, fucking hell, but you're allowed to watch children's ward.
Wow. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I remember, remember the guy that, I think he played the character
Billy and the first Cee, he was in the broken leg and he was a bit of a fucking bad boy, never,
then he ended up being a biblioteer presenter, I don't remember the, he's named Tim Vincent.

(01:02:38):
Tim Vincent, that's it, I remember, I remember him having a bit of a romance with a girl called
Kelly who was on the ward after he got you stuckey off, and I remember them both saying that they'd
both been a couple of dickheads and thinking, "Oh, mum didn't hear that!" I don't know what
gets to watch children's ward either. And of course, well, we're in the hospital, that's when we're

(01:03:00):
introduced to Dr. Homes, Keith Barron. Yeah. Sorry, Dr. Hayes, Dr. Hayes, Hayes, Keith Barron,
who as we said last episode, probably most known for being in duty free, but he's, I, I really
thought, "What was duty free?" I get, "What was the premise of duty free?" It was like two couples that

(01:03:22):
went in holiday and they basically wifeswap, or... Is that my memory? Is that correct? I don't know if
there was wifeswaped, but it just seemed to be on holiday in Spain, like, kind of, perpetually.
I can't be the remember, I remember that was something that, you know, if it was all, and I was

(01:03:44):
sometimes, be told to go to bed. Oh, yeah. If you weren't at life to watch Grange Hill, you definitely
weren't at life to watch duty free. That's for sure. Let's see, Wikipedia says, "I remember watching
duty free with my mum, I don't know if you'll be enjoying it." It says, "Joy free is about two British
couples, David and Amy Pierce and Robert and Linda Cochran, who meet well-holidaying at the same
Spanish hotel in Marbella, and the interrupt of a fair conducted by David Pierce,

(01:04:10):
played by Erhiro Keith Barron, and Linda Cochran, played by Joanna Van Geiskheim." Another
recording character is the hotel waiter, can you remember what his name was? No. It's obvious.
Carlos... Spain. Although, setting Spain, the show was recording entirely in leads.
Only for the concluding Christmas special was the budget found to fill some say,

(01:04:37):
some scenes in Spain at the Don Carlos Hotel in Spa. So there you go. It was based on a one-off
television play, like a play for today. It was spun off from that. So there you go. Yeah, I love
duty free. I might watch that. I've got so much stuff to watch from recovering, but probably won't watch
that again. But it's funny, because I remember I watched another beloved sitcom. I was thinking about

(01:05:04):
what I was thinking about duty free, and in my mind, a few years ago, I watched Brush Strux again
from the beginning, and then it wasn't until earlier today I was thinking about it, and I was like,
that was ten years ago I rewatch Brush Strux, but it just seems like a couple of years ago,
but yeah, ten years ago. Anyway. Time flies when you're when you're watching old ITV sitcoms

(01:05:25):
from start to finish. Brush Strux is BBC. Oh, so, um, JT3 was ITV, oh yeah, I agree.
Akith Baron, he's just broken in this, and he wants to help Mary, and he's got this
hypnotic technique he wants to use to get her to relive her memories, and he's going up against
Cushing and Lee, and disobeying their orders effectively, but he's holding his own against them, I would say.

(01:05:50):
And, great. And wonderful scenes where he is, he's with Joan Foster, Georgina Brown,
they go to the market for a cup of tea, and go and visit Mary's mum, and then it's back to Keith's.
They end up, it's back to Keith's. No. As soon as they go back to Dr Haynes' place,

(01:06:14):
this is Kong Keith, go back to Keith's place. All of a sudden this kind of sultry, sacks music comes
to it, and you're like, "Oh, okay, what about to get things?" And she mentions his sexy books,
and now we both show a lot of books, Greg. No, he's ever said to me, "Oh, you're sexy books.

(01:06:34):
Has anyone ever said to you, you're sexy books?" Well, I thought it was because he had a lot of books
about sex, that's why she said that. No, I don't have a book. She then follows it up with,
like, "Oh, you're sexy books, but then it's more about, yeah, it's all about, I can't remember the
exact term. I'll put the clip in." But it's more about the, the kind of, a, a body of the mind,

(01:06:56):
and stuff. Oh, yeah. He just never had the joy of sex or anything,
like, you know, as coffee table. No. She's referring to sexy books. He's like,
"Okay." Fifty-eighths agree, like, in there, and then.
And being a rotten host. What about a drink? What about a drink?
Coffee? Fine.

(01:07:20):
Is this good? No, thanks.
All your sexy books? Yes. They're mostly technical.
I just love keiths. So, that's a duck shuntek, Nikis, kind of like, well, I really want to get to the

(01:07:42):
bottom of what's going on with Mary, but as long as I've got this lassie here, I just, I won't put
any lights on in a living room. I'll just turn the lights on and I'll be galley kitchen.
I'm sorry the coffee's taken so long. He didn't put that coffee on. I don't know. He was just,
he was just wanting to get down a pounding. This is immediately, uh, just like a drink, and she's like,

(01:08:03):
"No, I know, thanks." He's like, "Oh, very well." Coffee? Damn it. Yeah. But then she gets a bit kind of,
she sort of leans over, suggestively, and like, you know, I think to myself.
She lies on the floor. Yeah, to herself. She's a draped herself, half over the couch,
kneeling on the floor. I've, I wrote at that point, I've wrote, "Keith, the doctor, the hypnotist,

(01:08:29):
the maverick, the shagger." He's everything all at once. Yeah. He's just, he's wonderful. I love him so much.
And then if it was good at football, it would just be like the, the man that would all aspire to be.
Close to George Best or to be exactly. Clever, Fett, Abel, Bodied and sexy. And then he dies.

(01:08:54):
Yeah. And this for me, I'm not gonna say it's up there because I know you and I share this kind of bond
as in psychos, probably, one of if not or theater phones, I will tie it for sure. It's up there with
Janet Leigh dying in the shower. 30 minutes in. Yes, it's bad. He's barren. Dice. And you had like,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

(01:09:15):
No, no.
What are you?
No.
What are the keys?
Yeah.
And you're meant to think that it is Maidae's mother Anna,
or Diana Doors, that she's done it.
She's the redheading, isn't she?
She is.
She's the redheading through the film.
And you think that she's done it?
She is fantastic...

(01:09:35):
fantastic in parts and wasted in parts in this film.
Yeah.
Like, when she first turns up, she's one barding through the hospital.
And this bits, she's just shoving people like...
It's brilliant.
Like, it is fantastic to see.
And now, her character is...
She spent 10 years in Broadmoore for a triple murder, right?

(01:09:57):
Yeah.
How did you only get 10 years?
Did fucking Jimmy Savile get involved in her voice or something?
How did you only get 10 years in Broadmoore?
And it was like the 1973, 1973, you would not got 10 years.
But she took a hung, but when was the last hangin'?
Yeah, well Broadmoore is the Lippey hospital, isn't it?
So that's where the rush, that's where the rush.

(01:10:18):
So like, if I should...
I guess, I guess what it's expected to believe that the only reason...
I think the last hangin', the last hangin' in the UK, I know, was a woman.
And I think her name was Ruth something.
And it was either the very early '60s or the very late 1950s.
Okay, so probably just after hanging, but then still, like, as you say,
Sutcliffe was in Broadmoore.
I mean, spent all his life there.

(01:10:40):
Okay, he did kill a lot more people than three, but still, three people you've killed.
You're not getting out.
And I don't think we're meant to believe she's escaped because she's...
Roman Abai, and she's got a flat and stuff.
So, in a car with a cat painted on it, a spooky cat on her, on her, on her spooky helmet.

(01:11:00):
Huskies.
Yeah, this lady painted like the mystery machine or something, she's got there.
She hasn't just, she hasn't escaped.
She's been let out.
But ten years seems a bit lenient for three, murder.
Yeah, I think...
I mean, I don't know if her expected to believe that she's supposed to have been loopy.
And that's why she shouldn't hang, and that's why she's been let out because she's gotten better.

(01:11:22):
Or is it because of her psychic powers that she has, that she's convinced people to let her out?
I mean, I think they were so set on trying to make her...
They make it...
On setting her up as the kind of red-hailing.
At, they forgot to put any sort of credibility behind her backstooly.

(01:11:42):
They just got a psychic link with her daughter.
Who is really quite posh considering that she's supposed to be the daughter of a prostitute from the East End.
I don't know.
She's got that sort of typical 1970s actress voice.
Hello, Daddy.
But is it established how old Mary is?
Do they see it at any point?

(01:12:02):
I'm trying to think.
She must be about, what, 11, 12?
That's what I do.
So, yeah.
So she...
If she's been in Broadmoor for 10 years, then she wouldn't really have any memory.
And she lived with her auntie for a while, and then went to this orphanage in Scotland.
Yeah.
So, you would think she would have a...

(01:12:23):
Mind you, I was gonna say, you think she would have a Scottish accent,
but nobody in this film, apart from Fulton McKay.
Yeah.
A couple of others has a Scottish accent.
So, yeah, it's bizarre.
Why is she so posh, but I don't know how old she's meant to be, but I would have said
11 or 12.
And I think so, yeah.
If she's been in Broadmoor for 10 years, then yeah, she wouldn't have known it.

(01:12:45):
So her car.
I just wanted to know, I thought Helmen were made in Scotland, and I was gonna say the most
Scottish thing about the film is the Anodors Helmen Minks, and I'm glad they didn't say
that because I don't know myself that they kept it a bit of a fucking dumpling.
But it did amuse me that her car is a Helmen Minks.
Yeah.

(01:13:06):
Okay, because Minks suggests sort of sexiness, curvy and spelt and everything, and that Helmen
Minks has to be one of the ugliest fucking cars ever made.
They were the modest minor.
I mean, Diana Doors, she was a sort back in the day, wasn't she?
Well, Diana Doors was the UK's answer to Marathon Monroe, you know what I mean?

(01:13:31):
But I think there is a couple of, she's in a couple of good movies, and Diana Doors in the
50s, when she was really endeavoring to play sort of serious parts and stuff.
And there's one that she's in, I'm trying to remember the name of it, but she plays a female
prisoner in jail, can't find it.

(01:13:52):
It was a good film, really good film.
I mean, she's very good in it, but I don't think she never quite got out of the, she's
never quite managed to get away from her.
She's got a sex symbol beginning, she, I don't think, unfortunately.
She had a hard life as well, I think, sort of personal life was pretty rough, I think, over
the years.
She really did, actually, yeah, and I am amazed, and we will come on shortly to talk about

(01:14:16):
the ending of this film.
I'm amazed she did that because, you know, in 1961, she narrowly escaped death at a guy
Fox party in Waysbury, where fire, fireworks were accidentally ignited indoors.
The house was destroyed, three people died in the fire, and another one had a fatal heart

(01:14:37):
attack, so four people died in total.
Doors was slightly injured and had to escape through a window.
So you can imagine doing the climax of this film might have been a bit traumatic for her,
I mean, okay, it was, it was 12 years later, but still that, that shit's going to stay
with you.
Yeah, definitely.
That's wild.
Absolutely.

(01:14:57):
Yeah, 100%, yeah, but she's good on this, there's another thing that she's in, she's in a good
episode of Hammer House of Horor.
It's got a famous one where she is, she's basically looking after a bunch of little kids who
are all turn out to be werewolves and they got family breakdown, and she can give them,
she can look after this family that are broken down, and then maybe you guys that is werewolves

(01:15:21):
about Diana Doris, is like a werewolf in Napier.
He's good on it though, she's really good.
So they're trying to work out what's happened with the death of these three trustees, they've
kind of linked something back, Mary knows something, Keith Barren's now dead, that Foster
is investigating things, Mary ends up back on the island of Bala, and her mother is off

(01:15:43):
Chasenor in her hillman, but ditches it at the ferry, and everyone's kind of chasing
her, and that's when like, Cushing and Lee end up on the island as well, Foster's on
the island, it's not a massive island, but yeah, she's a veiding capture pretty well, I know.
Just rummaging in the bushes and in apples, and their purple tooth, and their purple tooth

(01:16:03):
piece and platform, matching platform boots.
And then weird subplot with this Sydney child of seven going missing, and he's, yeah, that
was, that was something I wasn't kind of prepared for, and if I get it sometimes that these
old films could be about unflinching, you know, when the kids body's found, and he's, you

(01:16:25):
know, at least in the hell of a state, he's been like stabbed multiple times, and in the
reaction of the sort of Ivan, their local that finds them, it's probably quite genuine,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, so I guess that's what you do, if you came across the body of a poor kid that'd
have been murdered in the, yeah, he's got a star carved in his head, and he's stabbed
32 times as part of, they think it was, well, that's when, I think it's cushioning, it's

(01:16:51):
a ritual murder, and that's when Crowley Ainoff, which craft connection comes that, that
Mary has been reliving events from 30 years ago in her psychic powers.
So basically, these trustees are downloading their memories and things that they've lived
into these new vessels, and that's why I guess the trustees have these glazed look on their

(01:17:16):
faces, hopefully they die.
Of course, we've got to mention, like there's another few trustees die on a boat that explains
what you, again, I didn't see that coming, that was quite a bit of a shock when they
think, oh yeah, it's about the trustees using it just fucking blows up, I was like, wow,
that's great.
And I'd say actually it's from when the boat blows up that then the rest of the film is

(01:17:36):
just fucking mental.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Everyone's just, everyone on the boat watching the explosion.
You know, the shock doesn't last for very long, you know?
Oh my god, the boat's up.
And then everyone sort of has cam and collected, and you know, it's just a case of, well,
let's get down to business, let's see if there's any bits of any bodies left and stuff.

(01:18:00):
But it's just, it's the way that, it's the way that like, Joan, she sort of discovers
just through the fact that Mary uses the word scattergun.
It's a, it's a, it's a scattergun, see?
And some other sort of Americanisms, and so suddenly puts it together, but she's the

(01:18:22):
reincarnation of the lady who set up the, who set up the orphanage in the first, or
the children's home in the first place.
And Peter Kushan, who's supposed to be one of the most eminent pathologists in the
UK, and we know that him and, him and Christopher Lee are incredibly at the top of their games
because they just have a little drama in Christopher Lee's office that fucking, I live in a clock

(01:18:45):
in the morning apparently, because that's just what you've been.
And he just, he throws it all the way.
He throws, he turns his back on his years of study and learning and B-Serge, and just
embraces this fucking bonkers, supernatural solution to the murders.
I'm just like, I think this is the point when Christopher Lee's like, look, I need to be in

(01:19:07):
the set of the satanic rates of Dracula next to you, look, look at the smoke in the fucking
cap.
It's Helen, then, Traylon.
Look at the long gloves.
She always wore them to hide the scars from the fire.
Her husband's name was Vincent, he was an American millionaire.
Everything the child says connects.
All the American word she uses is like, like, knocking pin and, and scattergun and, uh,

(01:19:30):
steers and, caracene.
But the child couldn't have been there?
Exactly.
Now you're a man of science.
You tell me how a child can relive something that happened to a dead woman 30 years ago.
It's impossible.
Not if the child has psychic powers, controlled by her mother?
A psychic link between mother and daughter.

(01:19:52):
Oh, I don't know.
I've never done a story on the occult before.
It's all hocus-pocus, mumboe, jumbo.
I've always believed in heart facts.
Till now.
You're kind of hinting it does ramp up and it helps upon, helps upon, hints upon, um, as
thought-and-mokai as the camera.
When he, and, we should speak about thought-and-mokai, he, he's great.

(01:20:15):
Yes, very good, sir.
He's brilliant.
Yeah.
Almost didn't recognize him in a way, but you're kind of dead, but didn't, you know,
because he just, I guess I'm just so used to seeing him as a mokai.
He cared enough about his performance in this.
They fairly shonky production to do a bit of an island's accent.

(01:20:37):
You know what I mean?
Like I thought of that, I spoke about it before, that sort of soft, kind of melodic-ish accent
that people tend to have like in Shetland or Orkney.
You know, it doesn't really tell us where Bava is in Scotland, but Mekai is, it's not his
porridge voice, you know what I mean?

(01:20:57):
It's quite a sort of island-the accent, and I thought, well, good on you, you know, you
know, like, we spoke about that a couple episodes ago, it was Gary Lewis in my son.
That's right, do the island's accent, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
But I just thought, you know, it's commitment there.
Good actor, full of mokai.
Underrated, I think sometimes.

(01:21:17):
You always get, so I always get remembered for porridge and vocuro, doesn't really,
remember you talk about the other stuff that you don't believe.
But he has a range in this as well, like he's so calm at some point, he's very, you know,
when he's speaking to Mary, for example, where, you know, he's very lovely and nice and speaking
to her, but then, you know, he loses it during the press conference.

(01:21:37):
Yeah.
So he does get to have like, kind of, his full range of emotions in a way.
And when Mary is basically telling him to piss off, like, like, it's okay, we're safe
here.
And he's like, no, you know, I think we'll just hang around for a bit or we'll go away.
I think it's, yeah, it's good.
He gets to have his little range.
I think he's sort of, I felt like he kind of played the character as somebody who is maybe

(01:22:02):
lived his whole life on the island, these rows to the head of the police.
And this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened because, you know, when we first
see him at the press conference, he's kind of got, you know, he's kind of, he's sort of
animated and it's kind of like he's not taking it as serious days it should be taken
because he's so, he's so sort of beguiled by the fact that all this excitement's happening

(01:22:27):
on his island and he's at the centre of it, you know what I mean?
But yeah, it's great.
I mean, I think it just speaks to his integrity that even in a fairly, you know, sort of
low budget, potentially forgettable film that he is going to give it his best.
So let's talk about him.
So we've discovered that these trustees are downloading their brains into these children

(01:22:51):
at the orphanage and they're using them as kind of vessels so that they can live forever.
Yeah.
They're having a big bonfire to celebrate Mary's birthday because she was sick on her
birthday last year.
So they're having this big bonfire and as explosives have been stolen and stuff and they
have this guy up there and it kind of comes this realisation that they realize this is

(01:23:15):
what's been happening.
Oh my god.
Christopher Lee runs to this bonfire that we're having.
He thinks they're only kids.
I can fucking back it up.
Yeah, they're all the only kids.
And the great reveal is that it's Cassandra is the evil mastermind.
Cassandra.
Oh, she's been Cassandra.
Cassandra evil mastermind.

(01:23:35):
I did, because I did wonder like why are the kids all dressed up in these like all
timey clothes and then I realised ah, because that's what they're originally wore.
Where did they get the fucking children's sizes of those outfits from?
That's what I wonder.
And when the kids attack Christopher Lee because of the way they're dressed, it was like

(01:23:56):
it reminded me that the kids fucking the cast of Buxi below would attack them Dracula.
Just waiting for the splurge god to come out.
Cassandra's got our pearl necklace on kicking fuck out of him.

(01:24:19):
You guess the opportunity to join them as well?
They're like, "Why don't you come on?"
It is, yeah, they offer him the chance to join them, yeah.
Well, we'll find the kid for you to put yourself in and he's like, "No, I've never worked
for the BBC and I never will."
Do you know, I've heard about it at the same time that I came up with before, if I've watched

(01:24:39):
this first or if I'll, but the podcast that you and I enjoy, they were watchables, they
did the six ends recently.
I hadn't seen it for a long time and my daughter, who's 16, had never seen it.
So I persuaded her to watch it with me a couple of weeks ago and she really enjoyed it.
And then of course the pleasure for me watching it, even though I've seen it quite a few times,

(01:24:59):
I obviously, the twist is famous to people of her generation who have seen it, but for her
she didn't wait for the bow to it.
So it was quite a pleasure watching the twist land on her and her reaction to it, you know,
I said, outrageous, shocked reaction to it.
I was thinking to myself there, "I don't know that she would necessarily get the twist

(01:25:22):
for this film, I want to watch it because the twist in the six ends is so skillfully sort
of built up through the film and it's so well done because it sort of demands that you go
back and watch a six ends again and look out for the, the tells, you know, that you don't
see the first thing you watch it.
But with this film, you could argue if you were being generous, like we mentioned at the

(01:25:46):
beginning that the murders of the start are the tells, but those, but even if those, there's
nothing about those murders that would give you any indication that this would be the twist,
like, not like it's all, you know, they knew their murderer.
That's pretty much all you could take from it and that's if you went back and watched

(01:26:09):
the murders again a couple of times, you know.
I'm still bemused, how, how did Cassandra set fire to the bus driver?
Like, how, how did she kill him?
I thought the bus driver set fire to himself because the kids brought the only fucking
nut in the house.
She says at the end, she says at the end, I killed the bus driver.
I don't know.

(01:26:29):
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
Maybe she, maybe she fucked up his lighter, maybe or something like that.
But like, they say like, oh, you just had like burn marks to his face.
That's not enough to kill him.
Look at Simon Weston, for example, like, it's, maybe, maybe broke his neck when the bus
crashed.
Maybe, maybe.
Yeah, it's not clear.
And you're right, it's not really explained as to how it all happened.

(01:26:53):
And so what, did I, a kid let the hand break off that almost, did a kid shoot that woman in
the face?
Did a kid push that guy off the balcony?
I, I don't know.
It's still not really clear to me, which I can't understand that it's not, it's not wrapped
up for me.
I don't know, but it's not being delicately handled, Mickey, not like the six cents.

(01:27:16):
It's not been, and it's the best place to have an orphan.
And it's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
It's not the best place to have an orphan.
I keep saying download, download doesn't exist in 1973, but they've implanted themselves into these children.

(01:27:41):
And they've killed them and that's the whole thing.
And Christopher Lee gets attacked by the cast of Bugs E Malone.
And Peter Cushing is in a helicopter.
And having this big bonfire.
And the blades of the helicopter waft the bonfire onto Cassandra.
And she gets set on fire.
She curses everyone.

(01:28:02):
She curses everyone and then just fucking jumps into the sea.
She cries out, "I curse your cruel God."
But then perhaps even more shockingly, is that all the kids, there's a masseuse at the end.
That really shocked me.
That really was like, holy fuck.
I did not see this coming at all.
That's how we list this.

(01:28:24):
If you're watching a watch of this film, if you ever watched it already,
if you ever obviously was spoiled a fuck out of you, the last like 50 minutes this film, are mental.
It's incredible.
Is that a masseuse side of kids just jumping off a cliff?
And that's it, that's the end.
But there's no-
But then.
But then if they think about it.
In 1973, there's a good chance if you were watching the television,

(01:28:48):
you might see an ad there,
where the kid gets mangled by a tractor on a farm gate,
or set on fire by a pi-womp or something like this.
That's very true, very true.
There was no like, there was, there was no sort of soft soap in the 1970s that was like,
look, here's, here's some kids throwing themselves to their death.
And, uh, during the ad break, if you're a wucky, you might see a kid sitting fire trying to retrieve his frisbee from a pi-womp.

(01:29:16):
Do you think Jordan Peel used this as the influence for a get out?
[laughs]
I'm being serious, it's basically the same story.
It's just with, but with black people instead of, um,
well, yeah, Bill Kidd's.
Yeah, no, you mentioned it, actually.
I wonder, now you mention it.
It's, it's, yeah.
I wonder if John Blackmore was still alive, in any case.

(01:29:37):
Very similar story.
Like, it's just, yeah, with black people.
Uh, John Blackburn died in 1993, so I don't know if he's copyright-died with him.
I'm not sure, anyway, well.
But, um, yeah, it's very, it's very similar to get out of that he mentioned it.
It is, yeah.
It kind of, I watched it and I was like, I need to watch get out again.
Because it kind of reminded me.

(01:29:59):
That's great, baby.
Oh, fucking, that, that's the less Jesus Christ I've got so much stuff to watch.
Yeah, it's, um, but yeah, very similar.
But yeah, very mental ending.
And that's what I mean.
Like, the first few minutes, this film are great.
The last, actually, it's great, up until Keith Baron dies.
Then it's a bit shit.
And then the, then it gets good near.
The only good thing I would say about the middle part is, um,

(01:30:22):
is Georgina Brown, who is two and foster.
Yeah, it's just, she's, ah, she's lovely.
So, Vuk Truss, I was looking at her career on Wikipedia, apparently, yeah.
I hear a little bit of a chanter as well.
Good singer.
Oh, really?
Yeah, actually, more famous for singing than acting, but yeah, she's very attractive.
Very attractive.
No longer with us, unfortunately.
Did you spot, they just spot the other actor from the first Star Wars movie who appears in this film?

(01:30:48):
No, I don't think it did.
You're not, look, look, you're dinner's ready.
Oh, um, and Baroo.
Baroo, yeah.
Yes, she the Fraser.
Yeah, turns up.
She plays Mrs. Alice in the one that, I think she's the one that sort of comforts Mary.
I wish you were my mummy.
And sort of tuck us, kind of, tucks around at the fire side.
That's a thing, like, considering that she's having all these nightmares a bit fire.

(01:31:12):
They tuck her in next to the right next to an open fire.
And then they have a Guy Fox party.
The set of the party.
I know that kids were tougher in the 1870s, but come on.
You know, it's a good point, actually.
And she's just seen a man burn to death.
The fact that they're the bus driver.
I see, yeah.
That's a very good point.

(01:31:33):
Yeah.
Well, shoot about that.
Yeah.
But yeah, I didn't, I did notice her, but I didn't make the connection, but you're right now that you mentioned it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Baroo, she the Fraser.
And so, yeah, like, you know, I would, I know I've made fun of this film, like, quite a lot.
But both said, if you like this kind of thing, you'll enjoy this movie.

(01:31:55):
And if you, you know, there's, there's exploding boats.
There's people getting killed by a hat pin, mass child suicides, pathologists with body parts,
all sorts of classic mystery horror scenes, and their interspersed with extended periods of pure exposition.
And I love to watch that movie, but, and a lot of the time, most of the people in this movie look a bit bored.

(01:32:16):
But I really enjoyed this film.
Like, I really did.
I don't know if I'll watch it again anytime soon, but I did, I didn't watch this and be like, that was fucking shit.
I was like, okay, it's not, it's not amazing, but, and is it just because we love this kind of shit, this kind of 1970s,
probably, or kind of crap, like, you know, like, I watch, like, 24 episodes of Freddy's Nightmares,

(01:32:43):
which is, okay, 80s horror, is the worst TV show I've ever seen, but I cannot stop watching it, because it's so bad, it's so good.
I watched the first episode of that, and I was just astonished at how poor it was.
Oh, it's terrible, but I can't stop watching it. I'm just, I'm addicted to it.
It's, it's awful, but this, I'm not saying this is awful by any means.
I think this is a, an underrated gem in terms, just watch it listeners and see what you think and let us know what you think, but it's worth it for a Keith Bar.

(01:33:13):
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I've, you know, if I was in your situation and I knew that I was going to have a few days of convalescence when I wouldn't be able to do very much,
I would quite cheerfully watch two or three of these types of films a day between naps.
Quite cheerful, because so much stuff to watch, man.
No, I'm not suggesting, I'm not suggesting that you should, but I would, you know, I definitely, I mean, when I was living on my own in 2020 when my family were, you know, it was a sort of, or sort of, a buzz deepened fucking restrictions and pandemic and my family were in Scotland, and I was still in Kuwait, and I was packing up the house and stuff.

(01:33:53):
I must have watched 20 of these types of films that you got, honestly, over those weeks.
Because a lot of them are available on YouTube, you know, because it's, it has been on my mind, like I really want to watch, and I know it's a film I always mention, and we always mentioned it, but I have been wanting to watch asylum again.
And I might watch that over the next few days. That's always been my favourite, I think.

(01:34:17):
Robert, Robert Powell.
Yeah, yeah. So I might watch that again over the next few days, because I do love that film.
Asylum, asylum is brilliant, Dr. Terer's House of Horrors is also a good one, the house it dripped the mud is good.
Well, there's so many. Screamin' screamin' screamin' again, brilliant, the creeping flesh.

(01:34:39):
Yeah, there's so many. Honestly, I could fucking sit for, and they're just the ones that Christopher Lee's been in this, but another fucking 20 that he's not in.
You know what I mean? They couldn't get him in.
Yeah, quite cheerfully just sitting. Well, I just said they're brilliant. They're so good. After the podcast, I'm going to send you the film poster that I found online, which I've never seen before.
And it's the film poster for Dracula has risen from the grave. It's an absolute belting. So I'll put it in fact, I'll put it over to you just now.

(01:35:06):
Anyway, is it time to put, uh, nothing but the night through the Swally Awards?
Yes, I would say it is, Greg. Let's put the, uh, nothing but the night through the Swally Awards.
What's up first? Well, normally it would be our Bobby the Barman award for the best pub, but the, the, the first thing we've got to the pub is the Tea Bar, the, the old fucking swashbuckle and Keith takes, uh, of the Georgia to, um, before they go to Nick, mad Diana.

(01:35:33):
Yeah.
Next then, the James Cosmo award for being an everything Scottish. It's kind of only one choice, really, isn't there?
Well, that's the outcome of the guy. Yeah, when we just only Scottish actor in it. Yeah, basically. Um, that's who I went for. The next award then, the Jake McWillan, your tea zoot award.
I thought there was a bit of a, a bit of a case for Cassandra just sticking the boot in the, plural Christopher Lee.

(01:36:00):
And I had two options. I've got Cassandra off the cliff and I feel like guilty right in this after the story that you mentioned about Diana Doors, earlier on, but I've written Doors Fox.
She feel a bit guilty about now. Um, when she's obviously tied to the, tied to the guy pose.
I love your corner Cassandra.

(01:36:21):
I actually went for the scene in the hospital where Anna is, uh, beating the shit out of Mary and, uh, Foster comes in and, uh, and it shoves Foster.
Oh, for like, it's not kind of, it is a TZ, but it's, you know, because it's, it doesn't deserve it, but I just find it hilarious.
And it's the way she just kind of falls and then limps kind of, you know, as if she's just been massively attacked, but, uh, it was just, it was a tiny little shove, but yeah, that's what I went for.

(01:36:52):
Um, next award then would usually be the Yom McGregor award for good sure to nudity, but we don't, we don't get to see what's under George's, uh, polo neck, roll neck jumper and woolen trousers, unfortunately.
My big case bar and did. Yeah, I bet it did. And Mike Flynn. Um, the next one then is the, uh, Francis Big B award for good sure to swearing, but everyone's either posh or sort of, or sort of, or sort of kuthy.

(01:37:23):
You know, there's nobody that can fly with any f-bombs or sea bombs.
No, I just went with the bus driver calling the kids noisy little bastard.
Yes, for the closest thing, you know, before selling them, selling fire, get away from their song. Um, I kind of regret what I wrote down here for this next one, you have to cut it out.
Um, so next one then archetypal Scottish moment.

(01:37:48):
I've got safe, but I just went with the tartan hats on the kids and the tartan skirts, um, at the orphanage, but I can't wait to hear what you've got here.
Have written, you don't have to cut this out of written sinister, Ivan going zone brackets kids.
Don't need to cut that out. That's fine. It's okay. But I remember like some like big massive child of you scandal the North knee in the 1990s.

(01:38:13):
So it's that was I was reading what I'd written down.
It's no worse. It's, it's supposed it's no worse than your pretending to be a footballer to entrap young woman.
Exactly. I've said worse on this episode than that. It's fine. Okay.
Last thing is the Sean Connari Awards. Who wins the film for you? I'm not gonna like it. It's Keith Baton.

(01:38:35):
I should be. I'm not gonna lie. It's Keith Baton. I should have known that. I've, I mean, I've gone for a Peter Cushion just because I don't know.
It's just something watchable in nicer but Peter Cushion. He's like, I sort of a friendly grandfather, isn't he? You can imagine them just.
I always have a make up, poker, sweets in these pocket and able to fix anything, you know.
It definitely delivers about a performance in Christopher Lee in this.

(01:38:57):
Yeah. As I say, I still convince this phone in here. Well, like she says, he's got a fucking photo of films to do this year.
I'm sure. I'm sure. Like is one of the quotes he's waiting. Is that all the quote that Lord Somerai all wears?
That's what I agree.
I agree. One. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's, I think he might have got confused and turned up from set to set one day and just put on the false mustache and been like, yeah, do you want to play it today?

(01:39:25):
Yeah. My plan of Colonel or Lord Somerai. I can't remember. Or is it is just next some costumes?
Oh, I'm wick of that. Yeah. Save some money, you know. Save money because I'm producing this bastard. So save a few quits.
Keep the course. I mean, the plot is absolute nonsense. So got it.
Taking a big gamble here. Yeah. I think you know, I was going to put a Keith Baron. I'll give her a shout out to Gwen Strong.

(01:39:53):
She's she is great. She is really good. But I just I can't see past. He's barriots. Fucking got it.
I was so gutted. So got it. Yeah. Yeah. Good old Keith. That is nothing but the night from 1973. As I say, it's available on YouTube if anyone wants to watch it. I would recommend it.

(01:40:14):
Like, I think we both recommend it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's especially if you like this kind of thing. Yeah. It's nonsense. But it is good.
Right up your street. Right up our street. Okay. So that is the first installment of the 2024 swallowis booktacular. Greg, what are we going to be looking at on the next episode of the swallowis booktacular?
Well, I will I will say that I'm rolling the dice a little bit on my choice here. Right now. I have been stung by doing this before. It's not that long ago since we did the Lord of Tears.

(01:40:47):
But the reason that I feel we've been safer on this choice is because it's available in the Apple store which Lord of Tears is not. So I think it's but the reason that I've worried that I'm more than the dice on it is that because there's literally nobody in it that got hair doll.
Nobody is equal to Lord of Tears. No, no. And nobody with a with a Roman Wikipedia page either.

(01:41:12):
And I've gone I've gone for the 2020 British horror film written directed by Fion and Toby Watts starring Rebecca Calliella Grace Courtney, Matilda Darmade, Julie Hickinson, William Holstead, whose name is in red on my Wikipedia for some reason.
I'm Helen McKay, Aalien McLaughlin, and James Rothger, and it is Playhouse and the premises in a remote Scottish castle and a reverent writer faces terrifying consequences when his daughter falls prey to an evil curse working within the walls.

(01:41:47):
So that's what I'm watching. It is a rate of 3.6 and I am DB Greek. Out of 5 out of 10.
Oh, well, it's only 87 minutes long.
I'll check. Thanks. Okay. Let's see. Let's see what I think. Oh, and Rotten Tomatoes has got an approval rating of 67% based on nine reviews.

(01:42:10):
Oh, nine reviews. Yeah, which are probably how many cast members are there? Oh, nine.
Well, Paul, Paul, a grammatical, obviously, there's literally nine cast members. They've left those reviews.
Paul, a grammatical, of a red central score to film 3.5 out of 5 and said, "If you're looking for a good throwback to a grand old, gothic, good time, playhouse will be a dreadful delight."

(01:42:38):
And film threats Andrew Stover gave the film 7 out of 10 and said, "Although playhouse isn't as emotionally critical or tightly written as it should be, the Watt's brothers are skilled in nurturing a dood atmosphere and exposing a darker side to the creative impulse."
So it's got some good, so it's got some good notices there. Yeah, sure. That was their friend. Yeah. Okay. Playhouse. Playhouse.

(01:43:04):
Available episode of the culture, Swally. Great. Can't wait. I'm sounding down, but I'm looking forward to it.
Yeah, I will see. That goes. You know, always head out the park and no choices. No, we haven't, but we'll see.
Okay, wonderful. Well, thank you very much for listening everyone. You can join us in the next episode. We'll be looking at Playhouse.

(01:43:28):
And sorry, sorry, I'm laughing. We'll look at it Playhouse.
If you want to get in touch with us, you can email us on cultureswally@gmail.com. If you just want to drop us a line or if you've got any news stories or if you want to discover anything, then you can let us know.
And you can follow us on Insta@CultureSwallyPod or you can follow us on X, Formal and Twitter @SwallyPod. And we have a wonderful website as well. Don't we, Greg?

(01:43:54):
We do. You can find us a cultureswally.com. Links to all our episodes and articles of it, Scottish Film and Television.
Fantastic. Right. Well, I am off to go and clean the house, change my bed and stuff and prepare for my operation.
And look forward to watching Playhouse amongst all the wonderful stuff I have to watch over the next few weeks. But I'll be watching Playhouse.

(01:44:21):
We'll do it myself, Greg. It must be...
It's named TweyPas9.
Yeah, so I think maybe I'll warm drink and off the bed, I think.
Very. Okay, well, have a lovely evening.
And you?
And I'll see you next time.
Until next time.
We've destroyed my dreams. I curse y'all, Carl! God!

(01:44:43):
[Music]