Episode 88 - Outlaw King (2018) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:33):
Yeah you did actually, yeah you probably did, yeah you're right actually, yeah but you just kind of reassured it just recently.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sort of renewed my vows. Exactly.
Yes, exactly, that's exactly it. How are you today all good?
All good, yeah, looking forward to correcting some historical inaccuracies.
What we did, what we covered our film later on. Yeah, there's a couple, there's not too many though but well we'll get into that later on.

(01:01):
But yeah, there are one or two, but yeah, we'll speak about that later.
But yeah, everything else, good with you? All good, yeah, looking forward, I've got a little tribute band concept to go to tomorrow,
which is something exciting to do. I did find out that you often mention,
or you've mentioned a couple of times, both on the pod and just in a conversation from when you lived in Dubai,

(01:24):
Camara, market of knockoffs and... Oh yeah, Karama, yeah.
Karama, sorry, did you know that, a pack, did you know that the police shut it down?
Oh really, did they? They always threatened to, but they always just kind of got away with it.
Was that being completely shut down now? Was that completely shut down?
Wow. I was sitting with a Scottish colleague today having coffee, I wouldn't name him.
I love it, he'll listen, the culture, maybe one of his relatives listens, I don't know what to stick him in.

(01:49):
But he's a nice fella, he's a bit older than me, and he was sort of gives English people ammunition to hammer us all
with the stereo type of being sort of a tight Scottish person, and I'm kind of his chat,
but he was gone on about Camara and he was saying, "Oh, brilliant, like instead of going to PODL,

(02:10):
you could just go up there and buy like ten PODL tops for hardly any money."
And you know, they'd be the Ash of the six months, then the callers would fall off and all that,
but that doesn't matter, you could go back and buy some more.
And I could just see, like there was a few English colleagues with us,
and they were starting to tee up the tight Scotsman stuff, and I'd got piled all morning,
because of the sky, I'd never even been there.

(02:32):
You never went, oh, it was brilliant back in the day.
I mean, obviously, I'm talking back in the day, like early 2000s,
even up until maybe like 2005 or so, and you would go, and it was just just this row of shops,
and you would go in, and on the shop floor they would have loads of fake stuff,
but it was like obvious fake stuff, like pretty cheap quality stuff.

(02:54):
But if you had a little word with a man, there'd be a little secret door,
and you would open the door, and you'd go up this little staircase,
and all the shops had this, and you'd basically be in the loft,
and there was all this stuff that was just fucking absolutely perfect knockoff.
Right, right.
And of course, their thing was, no, no, it's real real genuine fake, genuine fake.
And, yeah, and it was a bit more expensive than the stuff that was on the shop floor,

(03:18):
but yeah, it was a lot of the stuff you would never be able to tell.
Obviously, highly legal.
But yeah, no, I went a few times, I think, when I was younger,
I remember buying a pair of Sean John Trausers,
and a pair of Johnny Blaze jeans.
They were, yeah.
But yeah, one side moved there, I think I only went maybe once or twice,

(03:39):
never really went there for anything, because you never really wanted anything fake to be honest.
But yeah, loads of people loved it, got a carama, getting their fake stuff,
and knockoff, it's like they're in the baddest, you know?
No, it's up high these markets.
Yeah, knockoff, software, and DVDs and stuff,
you know, it was all clothing and handbags.
It was good for the ladies, they all got their handbags and purses and shoes and stuff,

(04:00):
so it was good for them.
My cousins and I used to go to Paddy's Market in Glasgow and buy Amiga Games,
because you could buy, because it was quite easy to copy Amiga Games.
I remember I used to have this sort of copy software,
that I copied off some, copy that off some of the day, the copy software.
I kind of wrote, it's called, make them back to me,
but yeah, you could go down there, and they always had, like,

(04:23):
whatever was new, because they were just buy it, and crack it and copy it.
So you could get, I remember we went and bought the Ninja Turtles arcade game for,
it was like three discs, and it cost us like £2.50 or something.
And, you know, and the thing was, if they ever had any product,
I think I would say, if there's any issues with it, just bring it back,
because they would, they would, don't the copy for you, they would,

(04:46):
wait, they had the KinemiGA and they could generate,
it was plundent, and they would just like,
they would just do the copy for you, sort of, they're in men.
Oh wow, copy to order.
Just wait a couple of minutes. Yeah, yeah.
It was fucking brilliant, Paddy's market.
Obviously, we've got a bit harder to do as home computers and consoles got a bit more sophisticated,

(05:07):
but God bless the Amiga, that's all I can say.
Well, what a time to be alive.
Yeah, I am an Atari ST, and I was the same.
I used to get copied games from my friend all the time.
And even the, even the PlayStation 1, I used to get copied games.
Our mutual friend who, as you've said, was a scourge to the Scottish Rail Network.

(05:28):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he had a little sideline.
He would basically just go to blockbuster, rent a game, copy it, and then...
Sell it.
...would sell them, yeah, obviously.
Would they be caught and asked to copy?
Would they copy it onto them?
Well, format this, what this was?
Just a CD.
Oh, well, it was like a DVD.
Oh, right, okay.
Just a DVD you would copy it onto.
And as long as your PlayStation was chipped,

(05:50):
or you could get a little thing, you know, those were the days you could buy them in the shops.
And it was basically just a little spring you put on into the...
Like the original PlayStation had this little sharp bit that went...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you would buy...
You got this thing, it was a disc in a spring.
So you would put in this disc and put the spring in the thing and put it down.

(06:12):
And the disc would spin about five times.
Then it would lift up.
You would take the disc out, put your copied game in, close it,
and then it would just play perfectly.
Right.
Yeah, it was a little bit of fast, but it was worth it for getting a game for basically like,
3 quid.
Yeah, it was spending 40 or 50 quid on a brand new one from...
Yeah, exactly.
Game or somewhere, right?

(06:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that was over 20 years ago, so you got to do me now.
So, yeah, it's fine, yeah.
So, it's such a good reputation.
Exactly, yeah.
Anyway, that's enough about privacy and...
Because, you know, you wouldn't steal a car, Greg.
Well, that's what I was out of it.
Well, yeah, I wouldn't steal the car.
No, no, no, no anymore.
Okay, right.
Right.
Shall we have a look at what's been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks, then, Greg?

(06:58):
To the jingle.
Hello!
This is the Outdoor Heavilys Broadcasting Corporation.
And here is what's been going on in the new...
Okay, Greg.
So, what have you seen in Scotland over the last couple of weeks that has caught your attention?
Okay, so my first story this week...

(07:19):
We've had similar stories in this valley before.
We had one, thank you, you had one, maybe last year, about a haunted doll.
Well, this is another story about a haunted doll.
This is a Von Hyde's, who lives in Paisley.
The story starts a haunted doll, which is in punctuation marks, quite rightly, gifted to a paranormal investigator allegedly, has the spirit of a teenage doll.

(07:45):
She has the spirit of a teenager attached to it, the Scottish Ghost Company claim.
So there's a Scottish Ghost Company that I did not know this.
Well, a Von Hyde's, who's an event organizer with the company, conveniently, received the gift last month, but became concerned when it began to move furniture and caused a knocking sound in her house.
She claimed the toy made a knocking sound in the boot of her car until it was moved into the back seat, as well as communicating through a glass.

(08:14):
During a vigil. And now a Von says that further investigation says that after further investigation, sorry, they have discovered the doll has the spirit of a teenager called Teresa attached to it.
They believe that Teresa was aged between 13 and 15, died in a fall.
But the Ghost didn't want to elaborate on whether it was deliberate or not.

(08:36):
During an investigation on Saturday, November 4th at Banach the Burnhouse in Sterling, the team sat the doll down for a live streaming event.
And viewers claim to see a face peeking out the side of the doll.
I've got a picture here. So there's a picture of the doll in color. It looks quite immocuous.

(08:58):
And then there's another picture that's like the sort of negative of a photograph.
Now because the doll has got a sort of dark colored collar at the top of her dress, when it comes out on the negative, it looks like a big wide toothy grin.
And there's like a sort of V shape on her dress.

(09:19):
So the wide toothy grin looks like it's got a little sort of a divaligote, like her mutual friend is trying to grow at the moment.
And there's a pair of eyes, a nose and a mouth appear to be visible at the left side of the doll's face.
And the image was later inverted to make it clearer. I'll share this picture with her, so hard not to say to her, with her ex followers.

(09:44):
And also on Instagram, and we'll see what you guys think.
A one said that we took the doll to Banach Burnhouse at our public event on Saturday night.
One of the viewers thought she saw a wee face peeking out from the side of the doll.
She sent us the photo, I've inverted it, and wow, it's not often the inversion picks up on features.
We get sent photos all the time, and the majority of the time, here's a one I've never heard before.

(10:08):
Now I'm going to try and say it properly. The majority of the time is just Paridolia, P-A-R-E-I-D-O-L-I-A, whatever that is.
I'll look up in a minute, but this doesn't appear to be.
Speaking previously about the spooky experience of one said, "My friend and I were going up to the lust last Wednesday." That's where I take the hide-all was filmed.
I said that, I don't know if I've heard of one of those. She might know.

(10:32):
"My friend and I were going up to the lust last Wednesday. She didn't know about the doll at all, but whilst we were in the car, we both heard three knocks. I heard it, but I didn't say anything."
My friend turned to me and asked, "If I heard the knocking, at this point the doll was still in the boot. The doll was still in the black bag in the boot, so I told her."
We didn't heed it on the way back. Strangely, since we brought her out and sat her in the back seat, I've not heard anything.

(10:58):
So, that's a vaun and her haunted doll.
The doll just wanted to sit in a comfy seat and be locked in the boot, so I'm not surprised it was knocking.
I just take issue with the whole thing. The girl who claims to have a haunted doll works for the Scottish Ghost Company. She's an events organizer.
We're not interviewing her friend here. She's just saying, "Oh, I am a friend. It might not be a friend, Mickey. She might have just made the whole thing up. What was she going to lust for? It's just a tiny wee place."

(11:27):
And then she went to go and see where the hide-all was filmed. But you shouldn't mention that.
Do you have a very nice... A big scam to get people involved in her ghost society? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I don't know. You know me, I'm very cynical about...
We've had ghost stories and claims of spooky goons on on the podcast before. I just think it's just a lot of attention-seeking old bobbins. But what do you think?

(11:53):
Well, I saw this documentary the other day on Netflix and it was called Childs Play. And it was about this doll that got possessed by this murderer, Charles Lee Raine.
And it was pretty accurate, I think, this documentary. And I believed it. And the little doll killed the kids babysitter and tried to kill her and his mum. And it was brutal.

(12:20):
That's a problem. Was it in the day they think it'll be in the day of the record? No, it was American. So probably might have been in the Chicago Tribune or something.
Yeah, Tik Tok or something like that. Yeah, Tik Tok. Yeah, exactly.
No, it's a little shite, obviously. This little sort of thing is possessed dolls or anything. I don't believe in anything like that.

(12:44):
So no, I would say she's havering shite and just trying to get people to visit the whatever it is she's doing in terms of her little group.
But hey, fair play, if people believe it and if she believes it, then, you know, good on you and good luck to yourself.
Well, I've just looked up the words Parodolia to see what it means. The Google explanation is Parodolia is the tendency for perception to impose a meaningful interpretation

(13:13):
on a nebulous stimulus, usually visual. So for example, a British plug socket upside down looks a bit like a happy face.
You know what I mean? Yeah, the two of us in the mouth area, you know.
Smaller kind of like, oh, face, isn't it? Rather than a happy face. Yeah, okay. Like I sort of surprised and wasy.

(13:34):
So there you go. So whilst the story might have been pish, we'll learn a new word on the culture slowly.
There you go, Greg. Every day is a learning day on the Culture Swally.
Wonderful. That story would have been better for Halloween, but anyway, never mind.
It wasn't published in time for Halloween for their Halloween spooky episode, which is the way.

(13:55):
Well, this episode would be going like the 30th of November. So it's just, it's, it's nearly a month from Halloween.
So it kind of, it's the Halloween anniversary we could say. It counts as, yeah.
Yep, absolutely. Anyway, that was my first, eh, bit of havering this week. What's, eh, which is your first story?
So my first story this week, Greg comes from the Scottish Sun this week and the headline is Orange Flush.

(14:18):
A veggie fanatic says eating ten carrots a day has given her a year-round tan by turning her orange.
Pals of pale, Denna Rendell, 21, fear she had suffered a makeup disaster when they noticed a flush to her face.
But the customer services worker from Edinburgh says scoffing loads of her beloved root veg for nearly a decade has led to,

(14:41):
here's another word for you, Greg, Carrotanemia.
A usually harmless pigmentation. Dera spends around 40 pounds a week on vegetables alone, including six kilograms of her beloved carrots.
She said, "I'm a blonde pale girl with very fair skin, but because I eat so many carrots, I have a tan all year round."

(15:02):
When people ask me what tan I use, I tell them I just eat a lot of carrots. They think I'm jogging.
I never get sick of them. Denna started crunching through one or two a day when she was 12, gradually upping her intake throughout her teens.
But she breathed the cut down to six after a photograph taken at her 18th birthday highlighted the start colour contrast between her neck and her face.

(15:24):
She recalled, "I thought, 'Oh my god, that cannot be real. I look like an oompa lumpa.'
But she soon went back to her normal tenor day and insists she is rarely ill and never tempted by fake tans. She added, 'It's far healthier than sunbades.'
I don't think it's worth risking the negative effects, so I think I'll stick with my carrots."

(15:47):
Carrot and Amia is caused by the prolonged intake of foods rich in carotene, a pigment that adds a yellow colour to the skin.
It's fine in fruit and vegetables such as orange, squash, papaya, mango, carrots and cabbage.
Carrot and Amia is usually not serious and is treated by a reduction in carrots.
So Greg, this is our young girl, Dina from Edinburgh, who has a year of raint hand just by eating carrots.

(16:12):
But she surely hasn't woken up one morning and just suddenly had this dark orange complexion.
It must have been a gradual race. It must have built up, yeah, it must have built up with a while.
But yeah, she's as a photo of her and the sun she has got a tan.
But it looks like she's applied fake tan very badly. It's patched, especially around her hands and stuff.

(16:38):
I wouldn't say her face is particularly tanned either, so I don't know.
It's exactly what it looks like. She's applied fake tan but hasn't washed off properly.
But hey, it's healthier than sunbeds, so good on you for that.
Yeah, because you used to go to the sunbed and you would bring less sun.

(17:01):
Right, you used to have an nickname, didn't you?
Some of the friends still do call me sun tan, yeah.
Right, yes, I did because I got caught going to sunbeds, right? The visa being.
This would have been back in 2004, I think. So, about nearly 20 years ago.

(17:23):
I was going on holiday to visit my sister in Dubai. It was before I lived there.
So I was living in Aberdeen. It was winter. I was going out for Christmas.
I hadn't seen any suns in struck in July, living in Aberdeen.
And I thought, right, I'm going there. I was going there for like three weeks and I was like, right, I don't want to get burnt.
Or I want to get a good tan when I'm there. So, I think a girl at work had said to me,

(17:47):
like, you should go for a sunbed to, you know, get like a base kind of layer so that you're ready to go when you're there.
Yeah, so that is exactly what I did. I went to a sunbed and I had a couple of sunbeds before I went to Dubai.
Because just to get ready and prepared for the tan. And then I went to Dubai and got a lovely tan.

(18:11):
Came back and everyone complimented me on my tan. And so when it started to fade a little bit, I thought I would top it up.
Now, there was two reasons for this. The first one was that obviously I wanted to look good and I wanted to top up my tan.
The second reason was that the girl that worked in the sunbed shop was very cute. And I enjoyed going in and flirting with her quite a bit.

(18:36):
So, nothing ever happened, never asked her, because I guess she probably got it like constantly.
But, you know, I used to go and have a little flirt with her and then I would just nip in a sunbed.
Yes, I got caught one day because a couple of our friends drove past just at the perfect timing and they saw me going into the sunbed shop.
So, yeah, I was outed as a sunbed user. And I don't think I was probably the last time I used. I don't think I've ever been back since.

(19:02):
So, yeah.
But, it's easier to not get caught eating carrots, you know?
Yeah, I could have done that. Actually, I do like carrots. So, yeah, maybe I should have just done that.
I should have just eaten a lot of carrots and, yeah, would have been a lot easier.
So, your secret, your secret shame.
My secret, my secret sunbed shame. Maybe I could sell my story to the sun, yeah.
My secret sunbed shame. I was outed as a sunbed user. But secretly, I was just trying to fire into the girl behind the counter.

(19:28):
Anyway, so yeah, that was the secret of my year-round tan. People didn't ask me, "Oh, God, you keep a tan really well."
I was like, "Yeah, do. Because I've been toppin' up with the sunbeds."
But, yes, we don't condone the use of sunbeds, obviously, because they're not very healthy.
So, if you want a year-round tan, eat some carrots. That's what D-Datels is all to do.
And, anyway, she's done so. No, if you want your hands to look like you've applied fake tan badly, then go for that.

(19:53):
Or go for a spray tan or something instead. That's a lot healthier, too.
Anyway, okay, Greg. What else have you seen this week?
Well, my next story is one...
It's the type of story that we've not had for quite a while in the culture, as well.
We've been through... For a couple of years, they've almost had a couple of weeks.
We had a story about people getting caught, they sagging, or people getting caught, they whanken or whatever.

(20:15):
We haven't had as many, and I don't think we've had one of, like, a couple at it for a while.
So, this comes from the Scottish sun. And the headline leads "Bunker Up."
(Laughs)
"Shocking moment, brazen couple have sex in a bunker on one of Scotland's most famous golf courses."
"A woman in a hiked-up red dress was filmed straddling a man waning a tuxedo-style suit as he lay back at night."

(20:45):
"One of the Greensman, taking a picture, put it on, maybe Twitter or something, with a headline finishing up work at the old course and saw this in the roadhole bunker."
(Laughs)
"They were spotted an infamous sand trap on the notorious 17th roadhole on the old course in Andrews, regarded as one of golf's hardest parfors."

(21:08):
"Footage was posted on social media by a stunned passerby, not a passerby, works in a fucking golf club."
"They may still pass in by."
"And well, okay."
"The video was captioned finishing up work at the old course and saw this in the roadhole bunker."
"A source said, "It's highly embarrassing this has happened as an Andrews given its reputation as the historic home of golf."

(21:29):
"The course has a couple of swanky restaurants, so it could be a couple who have gone for a walk after a new one got a bit frisky."
"But it could also be students."
(Laughs)
"A bunker."
"A bunker seems like a funny place to have sex, given the chances of getting sand in places you don't want it."
"I have to agree with that."
"Add in the fact that it's usually freezing at night, they must have really been in the mood."

(21:52):
"There were lots of red faces at the club when the video on Merge as it doesn't sit well with their image. If they track them down, they'll be banned for life."
"It's not the first time bunkers have been used for a bit of rough north of the border."
"That's a shit, I know this journalist is fucking on."
"In 2020, Glenn Bervick of Club in Marbert and still has shared a report in an increasing number of messages about unwanted behaviour."

(22:15):
"They included a couple engaging in sexual relations within a bunker, brackets, yes, this was actually witnessed."
"Golf was first played as an Andrews around 600 years ago, I don't know if people have been having sex in bunkers for 600 years."
"Sure, probably, but the golf club has been contacted for a comment, but as the time of recording they have yet to comment on the outrage."

(22:41):
"So, I mean, yeah, sex in a bunker doesn't sound like, you know, sex on the beach, it's like, oh, Sunday, and you know, unless you put a towel down or something."
"I mean, surely you're going to want to go on the green because it's nice and smooth and flat, even the rough, you know, you're going to be basties and stuff in there."
"But, I mean, the fairway would be okay as well, but in a bunker, fucking hell, yeah, it's just going to be sand everywhere, it's horrible."

(23:05):
"I couldn't think of anything worse, like, that's just going to be very uncomfortable."
"Yeah, it'll be mortified that someone's fucking put it all over social media, so I'm keeping it."
"Probably delighted."
"They're in St.Phamus now having sex in a bunker, it's in Andrews, how many people can say they've done that?"
"Take that off here, bucket in sand list."
"So, famously, uh, bucket spade, isn't it?"

(23:29):
"Yeah, bucket in spade, yeah."
"Favorite the future king and queen of great Britain in the Commonwealth, Metts and Andrews, University of AD."
"I think, uh, you think, uh, William, have a gave Kate one in the bunker on the golf course?"
"So, was the 17th hole, was it Greg?"
"Yeah, apparently it's a really hard par four."
"I'm not touching that."

(23:50):
"I'm not going near that at all."
"I know we don't live in the UK, I'm no royalist at all, but I am not speaking about whether Will's got a hole in one with Kate on the 17th of it in Andrews, yeah."
"Or if he, um, got a bokey."
"I mean, yeah, I don't think, I think he definitely would be below par."

(24:12):
"I can't see him doing, I can't see him doing many more than sort of four or five strokes, can you?"
"It's probably, probably begged for a mulligan."
"Oh, no, it's gone off, I wasn't ready, can't get again."
"Oh, yeah, oh, dear, one has gone off all over one's expensive,

(24:33):
the way the Toys shoes appear to have sliced it."
"Just as long as one keeps out of one's rough, it will be fine."
"Yeah, I couldn't possibly comment on that, no, definitely couldn't comment on that."
"That's terrible though, they're decorating sacred land effectively Greg,

(24:55):
because Andrews is the home of golf and it's an institution in Scotland and it's effectively should have a national kind of status."
"So, they're decorating, you know, a sacred land by having sex there in the f*ck bunker."
"The 17th road hole f*ck bunker."
"Yeah, well, it wouldn't be my first choice of somewhere to have romantic relations with a young lady, but at that late."

(25:21):
"But on the golf course, are just in general."
"Just anywhere sandy, you know, just in a nice, just in a nice, nice,
and that's of course, you could put a beach towel down or something, but even then you wouldn't risk of,
you make carried away and mulled off by accident and then..."
"Yeah, but even with a towel the sand gets over the sides and it's just a window."
"It's just a f*cking nightmare, that's why I hate the beach."

(25:43):
"It could be a little pain in the air."
"Yeah, I f*cking hate bunkers as well, it's been a long time since I played golf,
and it's my new year's resolution I'm going to start playing again,
because I really miss it, but I used to f*cking hate getting in a bunker.
And then I'd got a really good at it actually, I got really good getting out of bunkers
for a little period of time, I think, because I just was in them all the time,
and I pracked it out so much, and I was still talking about sex here, or what?

(26:08):
"No, I was talking about actual golf."
"Okay, I'm sorry."
"And I got really good at it, and then, yeah, I'm played for so long,
but yeah, no, not talking about sex, I'm really good at getting out of bunkers,
what I've been sex, yeah, after I've had sex, I'm really good at getting out of bunkers, yeah."
"Well, yeah, that's, yeah, I could think of better places than a golf course,
to have sex than in a bunker, but hey, fair play to them, I hope they enjoyed themselves."

(26:31):
"Yeah, I'd be too. Good, good, good for a limb."
"Oh, to be young, and not f*ckty about where you get your whole..."
"Yeah, true, true, yeah."
"Anyway, that's my second story, which sure, we should have next one this week."
"Well, it's been a while, Greg, let's go to Falkirk, and see what's happening in Falkirk."
"So, this is from the Falkirk, Herald this week,
and the headline, Sheriff Bansman from Falkirk Library, after threats over knitting group."

(26:57):
"Ah, so this is," Ian Mcdonald, 64,
"ranted that Falkirk Library, who are members of the group,
gather weekly with Needles and Wool to swap patterns and tips,
was being run by a lesbian sisterhood."
As staff tried to calm the six-foot-to-inch Mcdonald,
he threatened to squash Project Lead Librarian, Tanya McGillan.

(27:19):
"Falkirk Sheriff Hort heard today that this incident happened on Thursday, May 11th of this year."
Prosecutor Amy Stedon and Mcdonald approached Miss Milligan's colleague, Librarian Amanda Webb.
Miss Stedon said, "He inquired about the Women's Knitting Club,
which takes place at the library, referring to them as old Fogies.
He was asked to desist from this behaviour, but again, express his displeasure about the group to Miss Webb."

(27:45):
Mcdonald said that he was the library's main customer, and complained.
"He could even main customer, maybe."
And explained that the establishment was run by women, who he believed, were against him.
He was asked to take a seat whilst Miss Milligan, the manager, was called.
When she arrived, Mcdonald repeated that he wasn't happy about the library being run by women,

(28:06):
and that they should do what he told them to do.
Miss Stedon said he was asked to leave the premises, but began speaking over the staff,
ranting and shouting. He said that they were just like the Nazis, and that the library was run by a lesbian sisterhood.
Miss Stedon said, "Mcdonald continued ranting that women were inferior to men, and she'd do as they were told.
This continued for 10 minutes, until McDonald heard staff ringing the police, and he left."

(28:33):
He was arrested nearby, and told police after caution, "These lesbians are just being petty.
They don't know what they're going to say."
"These lesbians are just being petty. They don't know who they're messing with.
They don't trouble what I get out of prison."
Mcdonald of Miln Place, Karen, admitted, "Poop, breach of the piece."

(28:56):
Slyster, advocate Martin Moro, defending, said all of this rather remarkable situation arose,
without any particular reason at all.
In a situation where Mr. Mcdonald was in the library every day, he's an articulate and intelligent man,
and remorseful about things. There has been no repetition."
"I can't believe it, it's not going to be a lie."
Sure, if Craig Harris deferred Stedon, some Mcdonald, and told him he will receive social work support,

(29:22):
and to return to the court in six months, he is banned him from entering the library in the meantime,
and he told him, "Somebody who acts this way towards library staff could expect a prison sentence."
"So, Greg, it would appear that Falkirk Library is ran by some sort of lesbian knitting mafia."
"It's just like the Nazis."
Yeah, just like the Nazis, and Mr. Mcdonald believes that women should do what he tells them to do.

(29:45):
I mean, this is just a grumpy old man.
It sounds lovely, doesn't it?
He sounds like an absolute fucking rocket.
You know, he's only sixty-four.
You know, it's not that old in terms of for his beliefs to be that one.
What these days?
No, it's not. It's absolutely ridiculous behavior.
So, I mean, one question I have is, why is a knitting group meeting a library?

(30:09):
Because knitting can be quite loud with all the clocking.
But I don't know if they are actually knitting, but they're swapping tips and patterns and stuff.
But still, they're meeting in the library. It's a local place.
But he, for some reason, has taken offense to these women being there and says that there are lesbian sisterhood.
Maybe they're blocking the Harold Robbins books.
They must take home for a poshwank.

(30:32):
I think that's a problem. That's by himself.
It's desperate to get to the Wilbur Smiths and go forward and have a little read of that.
But it's just kind of getting you the Jilly Cooper books because these women are blocking the aisle with their noisy needles.
Does it want to be seen taking a copy of Raiders down off the shelf?
Do you think that's what Ian McDonald's sixty-four is reading?

(30:55):
Do you think he's reading Riders by Jilly Cooper?

(31:16):
I think he's reading Riders by Jilly Cooper.

He surely don't abuse the people that they are by comparing them to Nazis,
calling them a lesbian sisterhood and telling the lead librarian that he's going to squash her.

(31:37):
That's the tragedy of it is, if he does go to the library because he's lonely and what not.
He's going to be banned from the library.
So it's one more place that he can't go.
Because the good thing about the library is that it costs anything.
It's free, right?
Unless you want to hire a DVD or a CD or a video game or something.

(32:01):
If you're just going there for the books, that's not cost anything.
And she's their main customer, Greg.
So he said, "Well, yeah, it's ugly.
People are weird."
But yeah, it sounds to me like he's maybe lonely and maybe a few wave short of a shipwreck.
Well, Paul Ian, I hope you get the help you need.

(32:22):
And I'll keep an eye on the folk art carol and see your sentence since it's been deferred for six months.
So we're looking at April.
So I'll keep an eye on the folk art caroled around April and see what's happening then.
I mean, I quite miss it.
I mean, I was still going to the library to get books out before I left the UK to come to them at least.
We had to write, we had to write it.

(32:43):
Yeah, for sure.
Like when I was an Aberdeen, I was a member of the public library in Aberdeen.
And that's a fucking brilliant library.
Yeah.
The good thing about a library is you can take your time and you might end up taking a book out and reading that you would never record to you too.
Because if you're going to buy a book, you know, it's a bit harder to make your mind up because you're part of the cash for the book.

(33:05):
If it's actually no book you're going for.
When it's at the library, you get nothing to lose.
If you see something, you write to the court, you take it home.
You then enjoy it.
So fuck, you think I'm going to wash anything.
You take it back, get something else out.
Yeah, true.
Perfect arrangement.
But they don't have any libraries here, unfortunately.
They do have a bit of a book.
There is a big library library.
Yeah, but a bit of a bit of a bit of a book, so no.

(33:26):
No, I haven't got lots of English books as well.
Have I?
I'm going to join the library.
It's on our way.
Bit road.
Yeah, but they'll charge because it's the buy.
They will be free there, will it?
I don't know.
You'd have to have a bar number.
Yeah.
But I'm just trying to do your public service here.
You said you were missing it so much.
You know, I miss my library so much.
You want to go and join it then?
Who did?
Oh, well, well.
Anyway, have you seen anything else this week, Greg?

(33:51):
Just a very quick one.
It's not a good news story.
It's a sort of thing that we all dream of happening.
A double glazing salesman called Fraser.
He is an E.C.E.L.X.
McCallan Whiskey memorabilia, as opposed to the actual whiskey.
And he struck gold because he found a rare display case which turns out is worth 140 quid.

(34:15):
And he got it for less than 200 pounds of eBay.
He comes from space aid, Fraser.
Sorry.
Did you say he bought it for £200, but it's worth £140,000?
He's £140,000.
Oh, he used £1040 quid.
Oh, that's why.
That's why I was confused.
Yeah, sorry.
I was looking at £140,000.
Oh, wow.

(34:36):
Yeah, so he began collecting McCallan memorabilia after developing a taste for the 10-year-old McCallan.
It was screwing through eBay for branded merchandise and he spotted a listing for an empty display case.
On closer inspection, he recognised that it's been longing to a bottle of the McCallan 1926, 60-year-old whiskey.

(35:01):
So this was, this is whiskey from 1866.
With a label designed by Valero Adami.
The whiskey case itself came from the legendary cask 263.
It filled only 40 bottles worldwide.
But only 12 of the bottles had the Valero Adami label on it.

(35:25):
The double glazing salesman replaced the winning beds of £199 and was fair-trouffed when he won it.
Of eBay, he explained, "My whiskey collecting began when my wife presented me with a McCallan private eye.
The perfect gift, but when I thought far too special to break the seal of, so I turned my collecting interest more to merchandise in memorabilia.

(35:47):
I'd always appreciated the brilliance of McCallan branding and advertising, so finding and collecting the treasures from beer mats to bridge cards and a study of Albanian shopping malls,
I'm your think to say, was a pure joy. There's been much discussion between my wife and I as to what constitutes an obsession or in her words, what is passion.

(36:08):
When checking eBay one day, I could not believe my own eyes.
The first image was a close-up of a tiny plaque inscribed with four numerals 1926.
And you immediately were the plaque belonged and I opened the set of images there it was attached to the million dollar McCallan box.
The case was missing the plinth and it had a whole board in the bottom, but it was undoubtedly the original home for one of the fabled 1926 McCallan bottles.

(36:37):
Ten years later, Fraser decided it was time to sell some of his collection and so he got in touch with a broker called Mark Littleer to get a valuation.
He was shocked to discover that the industry expert valued the case at £138,600 despite the fact that there was no bottle of whisky in it. Mark said that's quite a difficult item to value.

(37:00):
However, bottles of rare single malt whisky missing their box regularly sell for between 15 and 30% less than those with their original box at auction.
The £138,000 figure is based on 15% of the last bottle of 1926 Valeroa Dami that sold for £924,000.

(37:23):
I understand that the valuation of the case might raise eyebrows and it's important to highlight the distinct nature of rare whisky collecting.
The price tag, although an undeniably divisive price for a case, reflects the rarity and the desirability of the McCallan at 1926, 60 year old whisky.

(37:44):
For the individual who possesses the corresponding McCallan bottle, missing its original case, this box is not just packaging, it's a vital piece of the whisky's legacy, rending it priceless.
This is the box for the most expensive whisky in the world, it is not the type of bottle you would open and drink, so where is the missing bottle that belongs to the case?

(38:06):
The Ebay Seller that phrase I purchased the case from is probably as sick as a fucking dog reading this, was located in the south coast of England, so perhaps the bottle is rare.
Maybe someone has the bottle by inheritance in this completely unaware of its value, my advice would be to check the labels on any McCallan you could have a fortune sitting on your shelf.

(38:28):
So if you've got any old bottles of McCallan whisky in your drinks cabinet, Nicky?
No, I don't.
At all.
No, too bad.
Not at all.
What about yourself?
No, unfortunately, if someone buys me a bottle of McCallan whisky, I've usually turned it up within a couple of weeks.
Because it is one of the most that I really do like.
I think we spoke about this before in a smiley, but you and I collect different things between us.

(38:55):
We dream of finding something for a bargain somewhere in the world and it being worth an absolute fortune.
That is the collector's dream.
Of course, you want to stumble across something that someone has and they don't know what it's worth.
You can just shove them.
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah.
Exactly.

(39:16):
That's what you want.
That's the dream.
Anyway, that was my last story.
Fantastic, Greg.
Well, if you have seen anything in the news you'd like us to cover or if you've got anything you'd like us to cover on the Culture Swally, you can get in touch with us on CultureSwally@gmail.com
or you can follow us on the socials, we're on Insta@cultureswallyPod or we are on X, forlinoistTwitter@swallyPod.

(39:40):
Now, before we go into what we're going to be talking about today, let's have a little word from our sponsors.
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And to create designs that reflect that area, Doric skateboard screenprint their own decks in their studio by Gary's Fair Hand

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That's SWALLLY all in block capitals, same in the name of this podcast, to get your 15% off. That's doricskateboards.com.

(41:17):
Okay, so it was your turn this week, Nicky, to choose our film, so what we're talking about today.
Well Greg, today this episode will be going out on St Andrews Day, the patron saint of Scotland.
So I've picked something featuring the patron saint of the SWALLY James Cosmo.
So today we're going to be looking at the 2018 Netflix film Outlaw King, directed by Dave McKenzie, who we have featured on the pod recently,

(41:44):
when we covered his film Young Adam, and set in Scotland during the 14th century.
The story of Outlaw King follows the Scottish King Robert the Bruce, who starts a rebellion against the English Empire after the fall of William Wallace,
and leads his small group of fighters in a battle against the much larger and better equipped English Caval.
starring Chris Pine, Florence Pugh, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Tony Curran, and of course James Cosmo.

(42:11):
I saw the film online referred to as Braveheart 2 Scottish Boogaloo.
It was him.
It was my first viewing Greg, because you know I have an aversion to things set before the 1960s.
Despite the fact that I do love Braveheart and I love Rob Roy and spoiler alert, I love this.

(42:37):
But you watched this when it first came out, didn't you?
I did, yeah, I was anticipating this film.
Well, I was sort of nervously anticipating it because, you know, Braveheart casts a big shadow.
It's great fun, Braveheart, but you know if you sort of look under the film's fingernails, you know, there's a lot, it's a wee bit.

(42:58):
It's sort of like fun, like a kind of film like Ben Har, or the Ten Commandments, or something like that,
only with more people getting the capitated and stabbed in the bolux.
And you know, famously it takes a lot of liberties with the history that it's based on.
So with this one I was kind of, I sort of saw it as a bit of a spiritual sequel to Braveheart,

(43:21):
which it is, in quite a lot of ways, you know, it sort of follows on in that timeline.
And I was really worried that it would be, it would be rubbish, especially when I saw that Chris Pine,
famously American actor, Captain Kirk, probably his most famous part, is also in Wonder Woman with Matt Costello.
If you're amazingly, is not in this.

(43:42):
But yeah, they perhaps one of the few Scottish actors not to get called up for it.
And so I was a bit nervous about it, but I thought, you know, I'll go in with the right intentions and enjoy that.
I thought it was good.
And I was a bit disappointed that it didn't go as far in the sort of,
Pestery of Robert the Bruce's, you know, as I felt it should have done.

(44:04):
But I thought Chris Pine thought he's Scottish accent, was it bad for an American?
No, it's not bad.
It's not great.
It's not bad, you know.
I thought he's Scottish accent was great.
I mean, I'll be honest.
I've read a lot of criticism online about his Scottish accent,
and it was all from Americans, funnily enough, like anything I read from a Scots person, so his accent's good.

(44:26):
But yeah, all the American review I read or watched on YouTube or listened to in a podcast,
like his Scottish accent's terrible.
And I'm like, it's pretty good.
One person I listened to did kind of give it away, because they were like, yeah, it's not like over-pronounce.
And I'm like, right, you're expecting groundskeeper Willie, aren't you?
Yeah.
That's what you're expecting, where he's got like a soft kind of Edinburgh brogue accent in this film.

(44:52):
You know, the good thing about it though, it was consistent.
He kept it up.
It didn't go up or down or waver.
He kept the same accent the whole film, and that's why it worked.
And I took my hat off to him for his accent.
He kept it simple, and it worked.
Didn't take me out of it.
Yeah, and you could say, you know, Robert the Bruce came from a rich family,

(45:14):
where they educated for the time, well raised, you know, he, there's an argument to say, well,
that's why he speaks with the softer accent and etc.
You know?
Well, he would have done, because he was a lowlander, so he would have spoken with it.
Yeah.
In fact, the argument is he would have actually probably spoken French, like because...
Yeah, yeah.
...of course he was.
But obviously, he would have spoken with a kind of softer Scottish brogue.

(45:38):
To pick up on your point earlier, I mean, this is, there's no avoiding.
This is constantly going to be compared to Braveheart, especially by non-Scottish audiences.
And I've seen a lot online people, that's exactly why I said Braveheart to Scottish brogoloo.
It's impossible not to compare the films, but although Braveheart really has its place,
and it will always hold a special place in my heart, but we both agree that it's a fucking ridiculous film,

(46:01):
in terms of the historical inaccuracies and just the ridiculousness, and it's Mill Gibson,
and it's just ridiculous.
What's outlaw King is a really gritty, more realistic film.
And... Yeah.
I watched an interview with David McKenzie, director, and he said that he...
And I can't believe for one second he really did think this, but he came across so sincere in the interviews,

(46:23):
that yeah, I just, I didn't even think about Braveheart when I was filming this,
and I didn't even think people would bring up the comparison.
But... What?
It seems every interview I've done, people are linking it, but this is very much its own film.
And it's true, it is.
And I think for me, and I guess you probably agree, I don't know if you agree, but I've put in Boaznir by the air,
but one of the worst things about Braveheart is the portrayal of Robert the Bruce as a traitor against William Bruce,

(46:48):
which was just not true, and this, I think, kind of rectifies that by showing that...
I mean, Wallace isn't in the well, his arm is, but he's not in the film.
Apparently he was in the original "Ford Hour" cut of this film.
Right.
Because the original version was "Ford Hour" long, and William was "Worzen It".
But it was cut back.
Yeah, the original version was "Ford Hour" long, then Mackenzie cut it back to 2.5 hours,

(47:13):
and that was screened to Toronto Film Festival, and it got pretty shitty reviews.
And then he cut it back to the 2 hours 1 minute that we have seen on Netflix,
and the critics actually reevaluated, and we're like, "Yeah, this is a lot better, actually, I revert this film now."
And we'll come to that.
I do think there are some pacing issues in this film, but...
Yeah.
I really like it. I think it's a lot more gritty and real than Braveheart, but then...

(47:39):
You're comparing completely different timelines.
Braveheart was what? 96.
95.
95.
95.
Yeah.
And you're speaking nearly, you know, 23 years difference.
You know, films have evolved so much more.
I did either click Mackenzie or 20 years.
Film making and films have evolved so much that it's different that you're expecting.

(48:03):
And I think nowadays you do want a more gritty realistic film in this,
I think, well, delivers it in droves, doesn't it?
Well, the thing is, I recently read Neil Oliver, the Scottish historian.
He's become a bit of a divisive sort of personality, Neil Oliver in the UK.
He's sort of leans a wee bit to the right.

(48:25):
But he made a documentary about, must be about 20 years ago,
called A History of Scotland, and it was really good.
And I read the company in book, which is also written by him,
just only a few months ago.
And this sort of part of history in Scotland, from sort of John Baleau,
all the way up to James I,

(48:49):
anyway, I was James IV of Scotland, but he became James I, first of England.
The Sun of Mary, Queen of Scots.
It's quite a interest in an exciting part of history.
And it lends itself incredibly well to, like, a, you know, like, a historical epic.
Like, sort of like this, and like Braveheart, you know?

(49:10):
And you don't really need to take a great, you know, well, based on what I read,
Neil Oliver's book, you don't need to take a great deal of liberty with any of the events.
Because, you know, it's like every, every sort of year or two, there's like some huge incident,
whether it's a battle, somebody getting chipped in a church, somebody getting thrown out of a window,

(49:31):
it could stirl in castle, or something like that.
And what, what I liked about this film, although, you know, it's not,
like, they, you know, they obviously, Robert the Bruce is the hero of the film.
So it has to behave like a hero.
You know, the reality is, is that the best audience suspect that Bruce was probably quite cold and ambitious.

(49:52):
It was a bit of an asshole, I think.
Yeah, well, we probably know more than any other sort of person and power back in those days.
You know, they, they wanted to rule Scotland, and he wanted the financial, you know,
he came from money, and he wanted his position to be secure.
And, you know, he probably stepped over quite a few people to, to do it.

(50:13):
Namely John Cromwell, who he did, who he did, he stepped to death in a church.
And I, I, I didn't wonder if they would show that in the film.
And I didn't wonder how they would reconcile that with the, Robert the Bruce in this film,
be in this amazing sort of freedom fighter in man of the people,
as he, as he's portrayed to be in the movie.
And the thing is, he does, you know, Cromwell tells him that he's going to chop him to Edward.

(50:39):
And he just fucking stabs him. And then the priestess like, you know, confess and he absorbs him
and everybody just gets all with it.
So, fear it was kind of a, right, you know, Cromwell was very much, right?
You're going to try and overthrow Edward.
I'm going to go and tell him he's going to hang it and I'll get the crown.
So it's very much, right? It's me or you.

(51:01):
Like, I'm, yeah, he's going to go in Tatletail.
I'm going to get hung.
He's fucking killing him. And then, you know, thankfully, Ron Donahee's like, "That's fine."
Yeah.
You think that happens fine.
Do you confess and you're absorbed? It's fine. It's okay.
Yeah, a little bit of banta.
That actor wasn't even Scottish anyway.

(51:22):
So, yeah, I thought they did sort of, you know, they, they kind of, kind of hurried past that,
which I thought, you know, which I suppose they kind of had to really.
But apparently, by all accounts, Cromwell was a more popular sort of choice for King than Bruce was by, by all accounts,
which is probably why he really stabbed them.
Yeah.
But, uh, so yeah.

(51:44):
But no, I think, you know, coming back to the pacing, you know, that you mentioned the other David McKenzie film
that we covered quite recently, uh, the young Adam in the summer.
And, I mean, you know, we spoke a lot about it and how much we both enjoyed the film.
But his pacing of that film is very deliberate and it really takes his time to tell the story and get the performances out of the actors and that film.

(52:10):
And, you know, with a film like this, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't surprise me that there's a phone hour cut off this somewhere.
Because I suspect that his tendency based on young Adam is he wanted to have a lot more of the politics and the talking and all that sort of thing, you know.
And, and whereas, because people would have an expectation of this film, as I did, at the thinking it'd be like Braveheart, you know, you kind of want to get to the battles, which are really, really well done.

(52:39):
The battle scene's a fantastic in it.
You know, like to your point, the very realistic, you know, Braveheart, some of the battle scenes were a wee bit, you know, there's, there was some great moments, but if you're looking at background, there's just extras sort of banging source together.
You know what I mean, and so they're not a bit cartoony, whereas the, the violence in this, it feels, is really visceral when really quite uncomfortable at times.

(53:01):
But you can, you can, you can, you can, just want to get to that, you know, so I understand why people maybe weren't that enamored of a big long, four-hour cut.
And if you wanted to tell a story like that, then maybe some sort of limited TV show would be a better option, and it's suited them better.
Yeah. I think, yeah, this would have been suited, I think, for like a four or six part kind of HBO series, like it would have gone down really well.

(53:25):
However, don't get me wrong in terms of the pacing. Like I, I think it's great because I like a nice tight film.
Yeah, because similar to Braveheart, there are quite a few scenes you let I could do without that. I could do like that.
Whereas here it just seems like, it's just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Like, you know, alright, Cosmo's dead. Great. Okay, bang, onto the next one. King Edwards literally just says, yeah, I kind of stumbled the other day.

(53:50):
Like I wondered if I'm okay. Next scene is dead. Like bang, no fucking around.
You know, we'll come on to, I can black dunk in later on when he's just like, I'm gonna go and take my castle, gonna get some men.
Take five. Bang. Next scene, he's got five men, right outside the castle. And you're like, normally in a film, there would be like at least five minutes here.
You know, it's kind of build up or something, but it's like no fucking around. Can I take five minutes? It's a, it's a days walk away. Yeah.

(54:12):
Yeah, take five minutes. Okay, cool. Bang. They're right inside the castle. Bang. They're in the castle. Bang. You know, it's, it's, there's no fucking around here.
It just, it is straight and it's two hours and one minute long. But there's no fat. I mean, one of the longest scenes really is probably the sex scene that kind of like, does go on maybe a bit too long in terms of the pacing.

(54:33):
But I guess if paid for Florence Pue, you might as well show as much as you can. But, but there is, I think the pacing actually works because of it.
It's just, you know, getting there and just, it's just constant. You mentioned the battle scenes earlier. I mean, we'll probably come back to them later on.
But, I, that's one thing, Braveheart, it is very much. And again, it's of its time because there's 23 years difference. But the Braveheart scenes, it's all over the top kind of slashing.

(55:03):
Okay, there's a lot of gore in Braveheart, but a lot of it does seem kind of over the top. Yeah.
Whereas this, there's a lot of gore in this, but it's, it's kind of realistic and you don't see, you don't see like legs getting chopped off or your heads getting chopped off.
It's, it's, it's almost more realistic if, if you know what I mean. But, what I loved about the battle scenes here, they just look fucking dirty. And there's just dirt and blood everywhere.

(55:29):
You kind of, at times, you're not knowing where to look because there's so much action going on. Everyone in the background is fighting and it's just battle.
And the one thing I absolutely loved is after every battle scene, everyone looks just fucking nasty.
Yeah, which is realistic. If you've just been fighting for like three, four hours, you're gonna be fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Cause things like, they, they, they, that's probably the most famous battle that we see in Braveheart is the battle of sterling.

(55:57):
I thought it was actually the battle of sterling bridge. If you want to get all the story and be accurate, but it's like, it's something they can lovely sunny day.
You know what I mean? Like lovely blue sky, lovely sort of lovely, just cut field of grass and everything. Like the big battle in this, they, they could toward the end.
It's, it feels like you're in Scotland because the fucking, it's been pissing marine. The skies like all like that, low sort of heavy clouds sky.

(56:26):
They afternoon, early evening, you know what I mean? That's the fucking, the fields all water logged in. Like to your point, people are fucking up to their tits and bloody muds and bloods and everything and it's so real.
You know, like, it's, you know, they're sort of really struggling together. There's no sort of heroic sort of, well, you know, it's these big sword, one and end and wiping off legs and heads and everything.

(56:51):
Everyone's like a top of each other and scrubbing over each other and there's a bit with black, Douglas is like hitting people with these sort of chainmail cowl because he's lost his sword and, you know, they're just hitting each other with whatever they can get to hand, you know.
There's no shivori, you know, he's, one minute he's got his sword, next minute he's got his sword and he's got like a, a small knife as well and everything.

(57:14):
Yeah, I mean, it feels, and it does feel, you do feel like, well, when these guys in reality went to battle, they're fighting for their fucking lives.
So it's, you know, it's whatever, you know, if they've got to pick up a boulder off the ground and they bang somebody's brain somebody with it or, or strangle them or drown them in mud, whatever they're going to do whatever it takes because it's, it's sort of, it's, it's kind of him or them, you know.

(57:40):
You got, you got, you got to sense of that in this film. No, there's no like epic swing in your broad sword around like you're on the front cover of hero quest.
You are just fucking batting the sword. Anyway, you can fight in dirty. And as you say in terms of the landscape, as Robert Abrie's beautifully says, you know, they would take our land, but they don't know our land.

(58:02):
We'll not try and match strength. We'll use the land to our advantage. And it's a beautiful moment when the English are charging and then it just starts pissing with rain and you just see Chris pine smile as if they're like, fuck it.
We fucking got you. We got you because we know how we know what under these conditions we fucking got you.
It's like, you know, it's like if, you know, if a, if a team from tennery, if you're not, it'd come and play Aberdeen at Potadry and it's snowing, we're like, we fucking got you because we know how to play you on this tariff.

(58:34):
But yeah, yeah, I thought the battle scenes were, were fantastic. So obviously the film tells the story of Robert the Bruce. It's, it's kind of the royalty in Scotland has died. Scotland needs to crown a new king. I think it was the, it was a, I don't know who it was, to be honest. I should have looked that up.
But it was a young queen who died drowned. And John Bavoy, who had been a last king who had died and he had left Scotland with no king.

(59:03):
So the nobles asked Edward to help them choose a monarch and Edwards and paraphrase in here basically said, no need for that.
I'll just rule. Yeah, I would just rule. So then there was a rebellion led by Wallace, which obviously failed. So the start of the film has this the remaining Scottish nobles who didn't rebel, pledging a, sort of renewed allegiance to Edward.

(59:30):
But obviously even though they've done that, there is this engine among some who feel that Edward has no rule over Scotland and then in Scotland should crown its own king.
And you do, you do get the feeling is common kind of says like we're tired of fighting like we've tried it. Wallace tried it and we failed.

(59:51):
And it's almost like we're done. We can't be ours, but it does take the death of Wallace to kind of trigger because because Robert is kind of going along with the state is quote you can tell he's kind of not happy with it, but he'll go along with it because it's what is dad once.
Yeah, but then obviously his dad dies and then it's kind of like and then when they kill Wallace, he's like, right, fuck it.
Yeah, that is sad. His dad, so it's so is, you know, it's the end. Yeah, we know he played by Cosmo because he starts off with look we need to just, you know,

(01:00:20):
he's an old friend of Edward's, he's been away crusading with him when they were younger and he says that we just need to, we just need to the to the line, this would be great.
And good for all of us. Edward, you know, he'll when things settle down, he'll help us to help us. He'll help us. He'll put us in power.
And then the last scene that we see with Cosmo and Paine before Cosmo's character passes away is like not sure that we can trust Edward and he so's the seeds then, you know.

(01:00:48):
So he and that's him sort of given, he's going to give in Bruce permission to go after his ambitions.
I mean, despite the fact that him and Edward trained a monkey to shoot a bow in our, you know, that's a ride a horse.
That's pub talk and you're like, yeah, see, I was in job, bro. I mean my buddy, you be, we fucking, that fucking knocked one of the monkeys to see the monkeys that I've cut in a bit all the time.

(01:01:10):
Knocked one of them and took up to the hotel. She'd by the end of the week it was fucking making cocktails and everything, man. See the bonds will be pulled because of that monkey untoweled by the way.
She think that's Cosmo on his deathbed, just given his son. We better a drunken partner at impress him. Yeah, about a monkey train to shoot a bow and arrow.

(01:01:32):
He's fucking off his tits on poppy milk, so he's just not what he's saying. Never tell you the time robot, I know. Went to the holy land to fight.
I bought a small monkey when I chained Moses, the Christendor.
Or the others me and King Edward spent training Moses. In the end, he could ride a horse. He could even fire a tiny bow and arrow that Edward himself had fashioned.

(01:02:14):
So obviously lead Robert the Bruce to lead up a rebellion against the English, which obviously is the rest of the film effectively.
So I guess to talk about the cast, I mean, we've got Chris Pine as Robert the Bruce about a strange choice. Again, so this is the third kind of film we've covered in this vein.
On the swallow, Braveheart, Rob Roy, I know this.

(01:02:36):
Outlaw King and none of the leads have been Scottish. Why? I mean, okay. We could go back to this time, but at this time, there were quite a few candidates that could have probably played Robert the Bruce.
However, I won't take anything against Chris Pine. He's fucking great in this. He's great. He's great in it. I think I was listening today. I was listening to the rewatchables this week's episode that's about Robin Hood's Prince of Thieves.

(01:03:05):
And they're talking about how Kevin Costner came to play Robin Hood. It's like one of those actors, characters where people...
How do you fancy playing Robin Hood?
Yeah, or how do you fancy playing Batman? Or how do you fancy playing Superman or Elliot Ness?
Or are these real life or mythical heroes?

(01:03:29):
And I wonder, you know, with... Which is a Superman's, a real life hero effect.
I said, "Or mythical heroes," I said. But with Nesson doing Rob Roy, I sort of get it because he's Irish.
And Scottish in Irish history is quite interlinked, like for good, so anfer bad.

(01:03:50):
So I had a Rob Roy's, obviously, a classic, although he's a real guy, he's sort of like a classic romantic hero because of the Walter Scott book.
So I understand, you know, pretty fancy playing Rob Roy, because he's in that time. He was still riding high off Schinders list, you know?
And then you got Gibson doing Braveheart. I mean, at that time, Mel Gibson could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He was arguably one of...

(01:04:16):
I would say certainly one of the most famous Hollywood stars in the world before he completely fucked it.
Are there any Jews in Scotland? No? Okay. We're going.
And then, you know, you got Chris Pine, who is already played an iconic character, and he's could be...
He's done three Star Trek films, playing Captain Kirk. They only other actors if they kept in Kirk apart from Shatner.

(01:04:40):
And it's like, you know, how do you fancy playing this real hero of Scottish history? And you know, he's probably read a bit Robert the Bruce and thought to himself, "Fucking, yeah."
Let me see if I can get the Scottish accent down. And then sign me up. Sounds great, you know?
And I could totally understand. But it makes a film very bankable. You know, he's a better actor than say Gerard Kelly.

(01:05:05):
I could sort of imagine Gerard Kelly doing it actually. Gerard Kelly. Gerard Kelly. Gerard Kelly. I would fucking love to see Gerard Kelly.
It's Robert the Bruce. Fucking dancing about.
Oh, so we spy'd earlier on him.
I'll never get out of this cave as long as that spy does there.

(01:05:29):
Gerard, of course, I meant to say Gerard Butler. You know, I don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm just gonna be thinking all day about Gerard Kelly. It's Robert the Bruce.
"Here you, you English bastard!"
It's definitely a different reason he wouldn't be sleeping with Florence. Florence, are you underweighted?

(01:05:52):
Yes, I know. Yes, you know, and then McGregor probably to expensive at this point. He probably wouldn't want to do it anyway.
It's not really heads cup of tea these days to do something.
He's a bit too late as well. He's not the right fit for it, I would say.
The only one I would thought of maybe would have been like Richard Madden. I think might have been, but is he a bit too wee possibly and a bit too?

(01:06:16):
I think Richard Madden's problem and he's a good actor. He's a great actor, but he's not a very charming actor.
Rarely, rare that he plays a hero, they can game a thrones. I know you never really watch that, but he's like one of the prominent characters in the first two series.
And he's supposed to be a heroic character. And he is in some ways, but he's not, you know, he's just, he's had to warm too.

(01:06:41):
And I can't imagine him leading the film like this and, you know, because he's a bit of paythos, he's a bit of charisma and everything.
I'm not saying that he's not a charismatic guy, if I'm sure he probably is, but is the roles that I've seen him in, you know, he's not, he's never really plays characters who you really sort of root for.
You know what I mean? It might explain to the ones I've seen him in anyway. I've not seen everything that he's done, but that's just my sort of feeling on him.

(01:07:07):
He certainly looks the part, you know, sort of that he's got dark hair, he's got, could have physical often a bit of kind of physical actor as well, but I think, you know, in terms of what they want to do with the idea and character of Robert the Bruce, I think pain completely gets it, you know.
I think he totally understands what he's there to do, you know. Can I throw James McAvoy your way? No, that kind of eyes on McAvoy is too easy.

(01:07:32):
He's, I was a bit of a fucking five foot five, McAvoy. That's true. No, I, look, I'm not taking any of the way. I thought Chris Pine was fantastic as Robert the Bruce and, and very kind of he embodied it.
Like I say, I won't, you know, word said against the saxon. I thought he was good. He showed passion. I watched quite a few interviews with him, I think the role.

(01:07:53):
He really did seem to really, you know, it wasn't just a paycheck for him. He really, he knew the history, he knew the story, he said that every day he would go in looking at our early and spend an hour with his dialect coach and practice, you know, Scottish accent.
And like I say, I, I can't fault it. I think it's, say, the main thing I have to say is it's consistent. So you're at the whole film. And that is a big thing for me.

(01:08:18):
And the thing is as well, it's consistent when he shouts. I always, yeah, I always imagine, you know, if you're a gifted actor who's good at doing accents, I always imagine that the hardest part of doing it is raising your voice.
And especially, and especially the moments when he's got to shout across a battlefield in those especially in the end, the, the kind of, the final battle at the end of the film.

(01:08:39):
I always imagine that must be harder, must be harder to keep your accent because, you know, Gibson, to be fair, it does his best with his Scottish accent. And it's become a bit of a something that's going to poke fun out a wee bit.
But when you shout in, it wobbles a wee bit, you can hear his sort of American little bit of Australian twang coming through when he's shouting and doing his big rows and speech.

(01:09:01):
You sort of let it go because that speech is probably the best part of the fucking film, you know, just gets you going, right? But it's a lot more consistent when he's just talking at a normal volume than it's a conversational scene.
Whereas pain can, it can do it all, it can, it's completely consistent all the way through regardless of what the scene calls for them to do, you know.
I think, I think, one of Gibson's faults, it's especially when he's shouting a halt because it does sound quite Australian when he's shouting that.

(01:09:27):
And there's obviously a very similar scene in the final battle here, where you should vansing and they have the spears.
And I did kind of laugh that Chris Pied is, he's not saying "hold." He basically was like, "Wait!"
Ready?
Almost! And then he does let it slip in the head, "hold!"
No!

(01:09:49):
It's like, it's to obviously try not to say "hold" because it's Braveheart and you cannot tell me for one absolute second there.
Yeah. That was not in the mind of the director in terms of him saying he never thought about Braveheart when he was filming it.
But he's purposely not letting him say "hold." Come on.
Yeah, I was sure, yeah, I was absolutely sure of it.

(01:10:10):
Yeah, I don't buy that, I never thought of Braveheart because, you know, he might have had a rule when he said,
"Wait, I said this in, don't be a fever, let's not talk about Braveheart, let's not even think about it while we're making this film,
we're making our own thing here, we want to make something original, but we'll have a completely understand."
I guarantee you, there's probably people working on that film that worked on Braveheart.

(01:10:31):
I'm sure of it, you know, they'll be the early, these old journeymen, grips and technicians and all that, but they listen to that.
On the set of Braveheart, Gibson was a lot nicer than this fucking McKenzie, can't they?
Just why it's a spend four hours with Chris Paine's cock out, you know?
I guess, I mean, Robert's right-hand man is Angus, played by Tony Curran, who...

(01:10:54):
Angusog, "Vord of the Ails" to give him his full title.
I'd love to be a "Vord of the Ails" what I'd be thinking about, call yourself...
Fuck it.
What's the table picked under?
Greg Hirst, "Vord of the Ails"
Oh, yes.
You can scowl yourself that title, I'm sure. You can just bastore it upon yourself.

(01:11:15):
I claim dominion over the Ails.
I mean, Curran again is fantastic.
Curran's just probably never thing, though, isn't he?
Just a bit, but Curran, I mean, I don't know, I suspect that this is probably...
He's done this himself, he's not been asked to do this.
So he, you know, he's from the North, the Orkney, Shetland and everything.

(01:11:36):
Tony Curran doesn't come from there, but he knows how those people sound.
Yeah, so that's how he talks.
Well, that's soft, almost sort of musical accent that people talk, like that, you know,
that people talk with up in that part of the world.
You know, the red hair, they look, you know, they sort of descended from Vikings, you know,
and so they know that famously in Shetland, we did a Shetland episode,

(01:11:59):
but spoke about the festival that they have and everything.
So he's got that red hair, he's got that sort of Scottish Scandinavian look up there,
Scandinavian look about him.
But crucially, he's doing the accent, he's talking the way that people from that part of the world talk.
Well, because I had written down initially, like when we're kind of introduced to him the first few scenes,
like why is Tony Curran doing that accent?

(01:12:21):
Why isn't he just doing his normal accent, which is Scottish enough to do that?
And then of course, as the film develops, we've realised that he is from the Isles,
and I'm like, "Ah, that's fucking genius that he's been doing that."
Absolute genius. And yeah, absolutely remarkable.
Fantastic performance. One of the highlights for me is when he comes off the boat and meets his wife.

(01:12:45):
He just slaps him across the face. Where the fuck have you been?
Like, he said you've been a month, it's been three months.
He's brilliant.
And he's basically Bruce's right-hand man, Angus.
Yeah, he's got so much to do with the whole film.
But yeah, absolutely brilliant performance from Tony Curran.
Oh, great. There's so many good moments.

(01:13:08):
You know, it's one of those, you know, espos.
Yeah, you kind of, a few of the important characters get a bump off,
so of course, of the film.
So, you know, when that happens in the film, you kind of think of,
that's true, Bruce's brothers away, you know, anything could happen to anybody now.

(01:13:29):
But he, spoilers, he's right at the end, so they're right in the victory.
You're waiting for it, aren't you?
It's at the point you're thinking he's, yeah, he's going to be gone, but no, thankfully not.
And again, it's beautiful day, the last battle, you just see him looking absolutely fuck.
Yeah, he's given it as all, but you know, they've prevailed and won.

(01:13:54):
Yeah, anyway, it gets emotional, right?
When you realize is that there's one, it kind of breaks, it kind of breaks down of it and gets choked up.
And you sort of imagine if you get to the end of a battle and you realize that you've still got all your arms, legs, fingers,
you're not bleeding profusely in the battles over and you've survived, you know,

(01:14:16):
amidst this fucking carnage, you're going to get a bit emotional, right?
Yeah, of course.
Football has cry when they win the fucking league or the Champions League or whatever, you know, and you understand.
You know, they get overtaken with the emotion, but no one's life's at stake in the final of a football game or a sporting event,

(01:14:37):
but in a historical battle, you know, he's fucking, you know, he's up to your knees and blood,
mugs, limbs and everything, you're like, fuck it, the fuck did they come through that?
You and your 499 other mates have just defeated 3,000 Englishmen.
You're going to be pretty chuffed with yourself and probably going to let out a little tear of just absolute emotion in terms of how delighted you are.

(01:14:59):
But yeah, great character and wonderful when he's, I do love the scene with Black Duncan when he's training to fight.
Black Douglas, sorry, when he's training to fight and takes him off the horse, basically, ram some in the boss, go anywhere near my daughter again.
I'll cut these off and use them as bait.

(01:15:20):
Yeah, I love it when you get a sense that an actor really understands the part.
And you know, the thing is, it's a supporting part, you know, it's not even like he's not the leader of the film or anything.
But, you know, you just, you feel that he's just a really intuitive actor.
Probably the last thing we had to men was red roads when he's playing a sort of, quite a complicated character in that film.

(01:15:48):
And even in that film, you just, you know, you just feel that he understands the assignment, if you like, to kind of use a sort of popular phrase,
to know the character that's been asked to play, to the end detail. So, you know, in this film, then we have to have said in the culture s while he before,
I remember meeting the actor Gary Lewis and he had told me that he was going to be in gangs that he had just finished gang to New York,

(01:16:11):
but he didn't expect his part to be left in the film because Mark Scorsese had filmed hours and hours.
And then what happened to meet him again after the scene of film, and he's got a prominent part in the film, he shares about scenes with Daniel De Lewis,
the other cap you and stuff, and I said to him, you know, even me tell them about that, and you know, you're one of the most important characters in the film,
he said, "Yeah, but you just never know." And, you know, I get, and we're, we're, we're cutting this, you know, I wonder if that he's thought that as well, you know, this is a big production,

(01:16:39):
we've got this Chris Pines here, for Pius here, Steven Delaney's here, like James Cosmos here, of course, all these famous actors, and, you know, he's like, I might not make,
that might not be in the film that much, just never know, choices of director makes when he comes to Ed, whatever else,
but he's still fucking just delivers this absolutely sublime portrayal of a sort of outer hebridian no-bomin come down to fight for his country.

(01:17:05):
It's fucking brilliant.
Yeah, but what, you know, every day it's turning up to work must be amazing when you're like, "Okay, who's gonna be here today?"
Oh, it's Gavin Mitchell, "Hey, how you doing, buddy?"
You know, "Could you see you, Gavin?"
"Rabaflick, how you doing, buddy?" "Oh, good to see you, oh, great."
Fantastic. Every day it just be a different, it's got a chapter turning up.
Random, give it, give it, go for us.

(01:17:27):
Give it, go for us, yeah, it's just, yeah, full of random, like, one line actors, which is fucking brilliant.
I mean, Rabaflick steals it for me, but it's, it's lying, you know, look at these hands, they're paused, and you can see my dad was a bear.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
Okay, Florence Pugh.

(01:17:49):
I really like Florence Pugh in general.
I don't know, I've, I didn't know if I've gone off for a little bit recently.
I've written through her nose.
Yeah, kind of.
Yeah, I've written about this time.
This was a, like, a three film in a row red hot streak for her.
She did fighting with my family, which I was a big fan of because obviously I am a big fan.
I've met Paige and I really, I'd like that story.

(01:18:13):
Mid-summer, which I think is done in a incredible film.
Yeah.
And of course this, and she's brilliant in this.
And I almost wish she had a bigger part in this film because she's kind of the voice of reason,
but then I'm glad she doesn't because I don't want her to drag down too much in terms of the romance storyline.
But she's brilliant in this and she's, she's such a good actress, I think.

(01:18:37):
She's the only prominent, apart from the big yellow hip-thase Marjorie, Embrus's daughter from his first wife.
She's the only prominent female character.
There's a few other ones, you know, there's, there's Angus's wife who's, you know, she's got a good scene
and she gets a single song later on.
There's Sheamus's wife, you know, the sort of housekeeper at the castle.

(01:18:59):
And then there's Florence Pugh's mum who we see a bit, not, like, her, not her mum, but her,
their character's mum who we see a bit later on too.
And it's, you know, it's a very masculine film.
It's, you know, politics, as it were back then, as it was being exclusively men, pretty much.

(01:19:20):
So she's, she's sort of got, you know, you need an actress who's not going to fade into the background.
And the thing is, physically, Florence Pugh is a tiny, bee person.
Yeah.
And in the scenes that she's with Chris Pine, I mean, her forehead comes up to like his chest or lower, you know, she's tiny.

(01:19:41):
But she's such a, she's such a, like, a powerful actress.
You know what I mean? And especially in this, you know, she's, she's never really the damsel and distress, even though she's, you know,
her character goes through a fair bit of jeopardy when she's, you know, when they run the run after the first sort of uprising there.
And, yeah, she's fantastic. And she's obviously beautiful as well.

(01:20:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, she's a great actress, Florence Pugh.
I mean, I like to, I know you don't watch them anymore, but I like to, like, black widow is Scarlett Johansson's sister.
It's a good part for her.
She's, it's physical. She's funny as well.
She's actually really funny in that.
And they bring her character into the Hawkeye TV series as well.
Yeah. I don't really watch some Marvel films anymore, but I might have to watch Black Widow.

(01:20:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. If it's got Scarlett Johansson and Florence Pugh and it then, yeah, I think David Harborson as well, for, and, oh, yeah.
I, I, I, David Harborson.
Yeah.
That's why I'll watch it.
Yeah.
That's the, the, the reason that I will watch it.
But yeah, I think she's great. And she delivers a little bit of, and, and it is very much when the film needs to kind of slow down a second.

(01:20:51):
Yeah.
You have her scenes.
And I think that helps.
And she delivers an amazing performance. And for me, you know, one of the, the best scenes of the film is when she's being kind of forced to sign her an omment by Edward II and her parents.
And just the, the beautiful way that she just catches on when Edward says, well, he'll be dead anyway.

(01:21:12):
And she just bursts out laughing in terms of when she's like, well, why don't you sign this because you're dead?
Oh, wait a minute.
Eastcott, you've run scared, hadn't you?
Come on.
Robert will soon be dead, and you can go home to your family.
If he will soon be dead then why, why force me to forsake him?

(01:21:43):
[Music]
He's continuing to evade you.
Isn't he?
[Laughs]
Why do you laugh at me?
She's great.

(01:22:04):
And I think it's more her as well. I think she's, there's a wee bit of poshness, I think, to fall on this pu-
I can kind of imagine her doing like a bit of Shakespeare and stuff when she's at drama school and everything, maybe comes from a fairly nice, well-to-do kind of family.
So when she get getting her teeth into like a role where she plays a noble woman that comes from sort of medieval English aristocracy and stuff,

(01:22:28):
it feels like it's a bit of a bread and butter for her that she can, it's something that she knows that she can do really well.
You know where there's something like midsummer that requires her to-
But do you say it midsummer? Midsummer? Midsummer? It requires to be sort of traumatized at the beginning of the film, having an American accent.
I mean in that film, I mean in that film, I watched that, and it's quite long, but it's one of those films that you watch, and you sort of can't stop thinking about it for like a few days.

(01:22:58):
You know, it's like the Wicker Man I suppose, but it sort of takes the kind of unsettling elements of the Wicker Man and the sort of surreal elements and kind of turns that right up and adds like a fair bit of body horror and stuff in there as well, but it really stays with you.
I'd say it's almost the closest I've been to the first time I saw Texas change on "Master" in terms of just being unsettled of the people like this actually exist.

(01:23:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Wicker Man as well. You know what I mean? You can be like this is disturbing. People like this do actually exist. That's why this is so disturbing, and this is why this is so.
You know, like, because when you see a movie that you really enjoy, maybe one that surprises you and how much you've enjoyed it, it's kind of pleasurable to think back on it over the next few days and be like,

(01:23:52):
"Oh, fucking, yeah, I really like that bit, and I really like his performance, whatever." But like, a film like that, I don't really want to think about this movie.
So I find yourself in your quiet moments, thinking about some of the more disturbing parts of it, and you're like, "Oh, fucking hell, it really takes like a bit of time to wash it off."

(01:24:13):
Okay, so we have, I'm purposely leaving him for a last, we have Stephen Delain as King Edward, and I've, again, I've never watched Game of Thrones. I've watched the first episode, I didn't like it.
But apparently he is quite a big deal in Game of Thrones, to see.
It's fucking great in that. He's really good in it actually.
And he's good in this, I mean, the character in Game of Thrones in Braveheart is a fun character, but it's kind of, you know, what's his name, Patrick?

(01:24:45):
Patrick, me, fuck, yeah, Patrick, McGanagan or something.
Patrick McGowan, yeah.
He's a joy watch, but he's, he plays, he goes over the top about whether, you know, so, oh yeah, sinister pantomame almost bad, he wears, it's very smelling the glove, like, "Oh, what has Walice done now?"

(01:25:09):
Yeah, whereas Delain is kind of, you know, his character is a lot more ambiguous because he's quite reasonable at the beginning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. You know, you had the courage to stand up to me, you had to whizz them to whatever surrender or whatever he says to the Bruce Katman, but exactly.
But, you know, we're all friends again. Let's have a fucking party. Look at this cool catapult that I've got that I've brought.

(01:25:33):
It took four others to set up.
War wolf.
War wolf, yeah, lightly Greek fire.
But he's great, and he's particularly good in the scenes with Billy, Billy thing made it plays, Billy Hewall, Billy Hewall that plays his son because he's a real disappointment to him.
And you can get the feeling that he sort of, he has a disappointment, but he knows he's his son and he wants him to be a good successor to him.

(01:26:03):
Of course. Yeah, so yeah, I'll give you your chance. How are you going to solve it? How are you going to sort this Scottish problem out?
And you know, I think he brings a much more, I can have much real portrayal the motel scene before, but he's still ruthless.
He's still, he has that uncompromising sort of quality that you would expect these successful old bed evil monarchs probably had, you know.

(01:26:28):
And I think, yeah, you're right in terms of the relationship he has with his son because it's the same like Billy Hewall plays Edward II in a completely different way as we see in Braveheart.
So yeah, because Braveheart, he is literally an effeminate Nancy boy stereotypical 1995 homosexual.

(01:26:49):
Yeah, you would never see on screen nowadays, whereas Billy Howell plays him so well in terms of he's an aggressive kind of angry chip on his shoulder wants to live up to his father's expectations, but is never going to quite do it.
And his father knows. And that's why, you know, leading into the last battle as far as like for fuck sake, I'm going to have to do this myself.

(01:27:12):
Yeah, yeah, ends up having to do it. He does put the trust in his son, whereas in in the Braveheart versions of those characters, you would never see him putting trust in his son because he knows his son is a Nancy boy to use.
He's a useless expression.
Well, he's ashamed of him, isn't he?
Yeah, whereas I thought this was a much more realistic kind of interpretation that he's like, OK, I've trusted you son, you're going to do this, aren't you?

(01:27:37):
And then he's like, for fuck sake, I'm going to have to do this myself and there has to go and do it. But I thought the relationship between the two of them was really well done.
And I thought, yeah, Billy Howell was great, as I said, but the second, like especially the end seat, but he's puking on the battlefield.
Yeah, begging and, ah, wonderful.
I know you think me incompetent, father, but I am to be king.

(01:28:01):
Hmm, one day. Let this be a test.
What would you do, Stan?
I would raise the dragon, father.
Get word to balance. Robert the Bruce to be declared an outlaw.

(01:28:23):
Any man or woman who would give shelter to him or any of his ranks to be executed without trial.
My son will raise the dragon banner. The codes of chivalry are ended. There will be no quarter.
And I think the reality of Edward II, this probably was probably a bit of a mixture of both performances, like the big fat performance and this performance.

(01:28:49):
From what I would be meeting about what happens. And then of course, famously, the nobles turned on Edward and his son, who was thought not to be a good one.
But the son of, is it Peter de Montford or something like that, who was having an affair with Isabella, his wife, suspected to have been the actual father of Edward III.

(01:29:11):
And so it became de facto king. And so Edward III was old enough to, to kind of take the reins.
But yeah, I can imagine, I can imagine both versions of Edward II probably getting a being killed with a hot poker up the arse, which apparently is what happens to him.
That is about that. So that's apparently how he was dispatched by the nobles that turned on him.

(01:29:34):
Hester, he says. And of course, I mean, if we come into historical inaccuracies, which I will speak about a few later on.
But I mean, Edward II wasn't at the battle alone. In fact, he wasn't even king. His father was still alive.
He didn't die until two months after the battle. But will allow a little bit of, a little bit of poetic license from that.

(01:29:57):
Just to enjoy the good film. And Edward I wasn't buried in Scotland. He died in England. And I think he's in Westminster Abbey, I think.
So you want some Robert the Bruce Fax? Some quick facts?
Yes. Okay, so fact number one, he was a shagger.
11 kids, five of which were illegitimate. One of these illegitimate kids went by the name Archie Bald the Grim.

(01:30:27):
The thing about the spider is thought to be kind of folklore, you know, about him, this, you know, watching the spider building the web and failing a few times and realizing that he could do it.
There's a great scene which isn't in this film because it happened in Bannockburn. But apparently at a break in the fighting in battle during the battle at the Bannockburn, Bruce was spotted by a English no-humman called Harry DeBohen, who decided that it was going to take his opportunity to take Bruce out.

(01:30:59):
So he rode that and with his lands and apparently Bruce moved to the side and he's horse and brought his axe down on his head so hard that he split his helmet and his hat open.
And he's had his head and his helmet open and because it hit so hard that axe handle broken his hand.
And apparently Bruce's only regret was that he'd broken his famous act. That's fucking hardcore, isn't it?

(01:31:24):
You've broken my axe. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. But yeah, I mean, when he died, Robert the Bruce, Black Douglas who got onto in a minute played by Aaron Taylor Johnson, he went off crusading and apparently when he was on his deathbed, Bruce asked them because Bruce was a devout Christian and his big regret was that he never got to go and crusade.

(01:31:48):
So he asked Douglas to take his heart on crusades, which Douglas did. Douglas was killed on crusade years later. I mean his history is something else entirely.
Fucking, the absolute fucking mentalist if you read about him, but when they found when they were working under a family nabby, they found, because Bruce's tomb was destroyed during the reformation, like the sort of rise of Protestantism and the vindication, the victimization rather of the Catholic church.

(01:32:17):
His tomb was destroyed, but when they were doing some work on the family nabby in the 1700s, they came across what was left of his tomb and his coffin.
And so when they got him out to the way, they thought it was him, but they wanted to be sure he was cut from sort of nectar sternum that was opened up, which suggests that that was true. His heart was taken out and taken off into battle.

(01:32:38):
So there you go, but yeah, I think Bruce is in him. He's in his buried is an interned in Dunferman, Abbey to the state. So there you go.
Wow. Yeah.
Bro, but the Bruce facts. Bruce facts. Right. Let's come on to him then. Aaron Taylor Johnson finding his absolute niche as a complete fucking nutcase.

(01:32:59):
James Douglas who just wants to reclaim his land in his name, a fucking inspired performance. I smiled every time he came on screen.
An absolute psychopath very much reminded me of David O'Hara as Stephen of Ireland in Braveheart.
And that's why I can kind of not quite believe David McKenzie in terms of he's saying he didn't take anything in Braveheart because it's very much the same.

(01:33:27):
I mean, as you've said, like the story of black Douglas is kind of exactly as it happened. The only thing when I read about it was the only thing they actually changed was that when he takes his castle back, it actually took place at a banquet rather than the chapel.
But all right. That chapel scene is fucking epic. And Aaron Taylor Johnson, okay, I would say his accent is good, but it isn't consistent as Chris Pilots.

(01:33:54):
Yeah, it does go up and down a bit, but in places because I rewatched it again today in places it's pretty much spot on, but in places it does kind of go up and down a little bit.
And he's got a very strong kind of London accent in real life. He's kind of like Essex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, south London accent.
So and he did say he really struggled because he's like, honestly, a Scotch accent is probably the hardest accent I've ever had to do.

(01:34:19):
And he's done a lot of American accents and stuff, but I guess you think yeah, Scotch accent probably is quite hard to do for a known Scott and to keep it consistent.
Yeah, he's just fucking amazing in this film though, isn't he? He's good. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, he is, he's fucking going for it.
Especially in the battle scenes and the fighting scenes, but by all accounts, you know, they, you read the yesterday of Douglas, you know, it does, it does feel like Johnson's performance rings true at some extent.

(01:34:55):
Yeah, you know, the whole thing about salt in the well when it takes a castle back. I mean, apparently Douglas, he didn't just salt the well, he put the dead Englishman and their horses down there down the well as well to make sure that the world is safe.
Yeah, he don't mean, you know, and the whole end it was a religious holiday. It was that's very the having the feast that was bizarre, but how do you say it?

(01:35:18):
Sound, sound, sound Sunday. Sound Sunday, yeah. Sound Sunday, yeah, sorry, yeah, but he even, you know, so probably unexpected because there is a moment in the film when Bruce calls out, he's the character written down, but the English fellow who's the sort of sure of Scotland.
And he says, let's, we can say it at one and one right now. And so they, yeah, but it's Sunday and on that you, you know, you don't be, you don't beat up battle on a Sunday. So they probably they weren't expecting the last thing they would have expected is for Douglas and a handful of, have these of men's sort of turn up and start knifeing people at the feast.

(01:35:53):
Well, it's just when he, I mean, you introduced him in the first, I mean, Christ will come back to that. I haven't even talked about the first nine minutes of this film, which is all in one shot.
Yeah, it's great. And it, which is epic. We'll come back to that after we've spoken about Aaron Taylor Johnson, but you see him in those first nine minutes trying to claim his land and his name back. He gets pushed away.

(01:36:16):
And then the next time you see him is coming down on the horse or coming down the road to Robert the Bruce's army and they think he might be a threat and beautiful scene between him and Bruce.
Are you a good man? I'm trying to be. That's good enough for me. Yeah, yeah.
I killed Joel Coleman at the altar.
You should know the man to him. You're offering loyalty.

(01:36:40):
Are you a good man? I'm trying to be.
It's good enough for me. And he just fucking battles for Bruce and Bruce obviously really repays that and shows that and appreciates that because later when they,

(01:37:07):
when they're kind of reclaiming Scotland and he says he wants to go back and take over his own land and he's, yeah, can I take three men take five but be careful.
I've already lost two brothers. I do want another one. And you, yeah, you kind of your heart swells. They're like, Oh, Jesus. He sees him as a brother.
But for me, it's, it's the final battle scene when he bumps into the English guy and he's just what's my fucking name? And he's batting him. What's my name?

(01:37:34):
I'm a game. Don't care. I mean, just fucking, I, Douglas. The reason is I used to work with a guy called James Duncan and that's why I always start to do something.
And he says Douglas and just fucking slashes him and are beautiful. I mean, do you think Aaron Taylor Johnson showed this as his show real addition, forgetting the role of Craven the Hunter?

(01:37:57):
No, possibly. He's got a Russian accent and that I've seen a trailer for that craven the Hunter looks like it's going to be a pretty bloody affair. Yeah, my, if the chair is at the go by. So, yeah, maybe perhaps maybe that and he's sort of non-descript Eastern European accent.
He does in the Avengers 2 is quite silver. Yeah, Pedro, yeah, Quicksilver, Mondez brother.

(01:38:18):
Yeah, maybe I think you know, I mean, I've always quite like to have in Taylor Johnson. I think the first thing I saw him in was he plays John Lennon in a film called No Where Boy that's about John Lennon as a sort of teenager just when he meets the rest of the Beatles.
Probably.
It's, yeah, it's pretty good film.
No, I know the film. I'm just surprised that was the first thing you saw him in.

(01:38:41):
That's first thing I saw, I saw him in and then of course I saw him in kick ass, which is I enjoyed that first one. I don't enjoy the second one quite as much, but it was OK.
But the first one is really good and he's great in it. And the other one, the other one I heard is that I enjoyed. I think I got panda bit was the other one of a stone one savages.
He's got a baby Nicole Del Toros in it, John Chivalt is in it. I think I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm heard Ryan Reynolds wife, Brut, kind of Blake Blake, Blake, lively.

(01:39:12):
Blake, lively, yeah, yeah. I think I was quick I quite enjoyed that or sell my high x in it as well. I quite enjoyed that. And I thought he was good in it, but yeah, he's a fun.
You seem in bullet train. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good film. It's good fun as well. Yeah. Yeah, no, I've written. I think it's a good actor Alan Taylor Johnson.
Although he has taken his wife's name and his wife's like twice his age. You know that same. Yeah, image image is a image Johnson is wife. And no Sam Sam Taylor Sam Taylor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

(01:39:42):
And she's like highly tip to be the next James Bond. Yeah, but not against it. Maybe maybe all right. Yeah. I think he begins to I think he'd be pretty good.
I mean, if he wants to not give up his career because I mean, to be fair, it's not the chalice it once was because look at Daniel Craig. He's done. Yeah. A lot.
Okay, it is a it does tie you down for a lot, but then. Yeah. Daniel Craig's has done a lot of other stuff. You know, it turns it knives out glass onion. Yeah.

(01:40:10):
He's done a few other things. And I think nowadays in terms of the all the streaming networks like Netflix, you can do like a Netflix film or things and not be tied down.
But I think I don't tell Jones be a fucking great bond. I think yeah, it'd be good. I mean, I think I think the bond film is like a year, right?
You know, you're probably a year your life. I'd say about two years because you've got a year of filming and then probably a year of promotion.

(01:40:33):
Because it is a promotion machine that you go on for a bond film. So I would say about two years, I think, for a bond film.
I think I think my Craig, he did a lot of interesting stuff before he was bond. You know, like as opposed to Connery who had done a couple of sort of.
Milk, right? Not yeah, he had delivered a lot of milk. He said that we would Irish film like Mick Darby, and a little people or something like that.

(01:40:58):
Before he was in bonds, Roger Moore was already quite an established television actor. Before he became bond, pancine-tempered, opening of what a stuff before he was bond.
Really, or since, although he's fucking brilliant and hot fuzz, I have to say. And then, then, then, then, then, Brods, Brodsdon's never really done a lot.

(01:41:19):
High profile stuff since he was bond.
Oh, come on. It's been in Malamia. Malamia too. He was in Thomas Croner theory. Brodsdon has done a few things actually.
I would dispute that. Brodsdon's done a few things, I would say.
Yeah, okay, fair enough. I'll let that slide. It was then Black Adam, the Rock thing. Not Black Adam. Yeah, Black Adam. Is it Black Adam?

(01:41:41):
I haven't seen Black Adam, so.
It's called Black Adam, though, right? Yeah, this is the Superhero Rock film. Yeah. Shazam's kind of much enemy, yeah, Black Adam.
I thought I was saying something like, "Hotably racist." They were a second. That was like, "It's a called Black Adam?"
It's okay. That's okay.
So, yeah, let's see. Taylor Johnson's got quite a diverse sort of resume already and stuff that he's done.

(01:42:06):
So he could probably go into bond and still do to your point some interesting stuff.
A Jason to his 10-year is bond and probably young enough to go on and do a lot of fucking great stuff afterwards as well, you know?
It seems ashamed that we're kind of at the end of our review, really.
And we're about to talk about the opening nine minutes of the film, but the opening nine minutes shot is spectacular.

(01:42:27):
Like it just puts you so in it and it's just this long tracking shot that sees, you know, Robert and everyone pledging their allegiance to long shanks, then you get this epic sword fight between Robert and Edward,
which is this three-six day kind of view that you kind of feel you're right in.
Yeah. And then you see the Warwolf and that is just an incredible shot of the kind of flaming bow and going back and then going through.

(01:42:50):
And I actually, I didn't realise until the second time I watched it. I'm like, that's all one take.
How did I know this that before? It's epic.
You don't really realise until you're right in it.
Yeah, we're going in and out of the tent when Edward calls the younger Edward in and everything.
Yeah, it's great. I like that kind of thing.

(01:43:11):
And I was wondering, is where, if they, I mean, obviously they haven't really fired a flaming metal ball at a castle.
But I wonder... Well, yeah, of course. But I was wondering how much of the catapult was in camera, you know,
did they build the apparatus? They could fire it dry for the CGI, you know, just fire the mechanism so it moves around and creates the motion.

(01:43:36):
But I suppose you'd have to wait it to do that as well, right?
Yeah, that's a view. So maybe not. Maybe not.
Yeah, it's a cool shot. Everyone's there and was it Edward says, he says, you know, is it because you can enjoy being on the winning side for a change or something like that.
Yeah, it's very, very, after the fairly catapult.
Now you can accept their surrender.

(01:43:58):
So then, then you ask you a question. Have you ever swore on the bodies of two dead swans?
No, I haven't. And that was going to be my intro for you as well in terms of you swore on the next of two dead swans.
You did swans that you worked uptold the culture, Swally, but I decided not to, but no, I've never held us one's neck.
Fucking hell, swans are vicious. I wouldn't even go need us one.

(01:44:21):
It could break your arm. Yeah, everybody knows that.
I think I was like walking Bobie there a day, I was like, well, a few weeks ago, and it was a swan walking around.
It was kind of following us and I was kind of running away with them. Like, come on, come on. We need to go.
We need to go. That's going to break our neck.
Swans are like, they just look like fucking pissed off all the time, swans, even when you see them, they're kind of gliding across like a glassy bleak or lock, we should say, because it's a cultural swally.

(01:44:46):
They just look fucking pissed off. I don't know, in the summer, like on the river I live in, you see a lot of swans, and when they're sleeping, like, if I'm walking my dog in the morning and we're walking past, they're still sleeping.
The way they sleep with their long necks tucked into their underneath, and they're so cute. But yeah, vicious little bastards.

(01:45:07):
Yeah, but you can't see their faces because the faces wander their wings. They could be fucking...
Yeah, but this is like little fluffy donuts, like they look lovely.
Right, go back on the film. One criticism I have about this film is that I don't think they built up a lot of the characters enough because, genuinely, when Robert the Breast's brothers die,

(01:45:29):
I didn't know a shit because I didn't know them. Because we saw them in like two scenes beforehand, and genuinely, when one of them died, I'm like, "Who's he?"
Especially when Alex, the one that gets ran through with the spear, was Bo.
Yeah, I'm like, "Who's he?" I see, so, "Oh, this is brother, okay."
Yeah, at least the guy gets guffroted, which is pretty fucking brutal.

(01:45:52):
Yeah, at least I knew he was his brother, but yeah, I'm kind of like, and it wasn't until the second time I watched it, I'm like, "Okay, there's literally two scenes with them all together, and it's all rang the table."
But otherwise, you wouldn't know who the fuck they were. So, why would I care?
So, I think there was a... That's one criticism I have, though, I wasn't invested enough in those characters.

(01:46:15):
Yeah, I would agree completely, anything is... The other thing that pissed me off a bit as well was that, "Why didn't it go all the way to the Battle of the Bannockburn?"
Like, they ultimately, they victory, really, and they didn't quite put the crown in his head, but it certainly was one of the decisive blows that would eventually see him crowned the King of Scotland.

(01:46:38):
Yeah, I wonder if they did that because... And that's another thing, because the Battle of the Light and Hill took place in 1307.
So, at the beginning of this film, it says 1304. So, this film takes place over a period of three years, which doesn't feel like it.
It feels like it takes place over like fucking ten days.
Yeah, or two weeks.

(01:46:59):
And it's seven years before Bannockburn, as well, the Battle of the Hill.
Exactly. I did have, on my notes, did they consciously not want it to end at Battle of the Bannockburn?
But then, I wonder if they were kind of like, well, the Battle of the Light and Hill was kind of the trigger that led to the events of Bannockburn.
And maybe that was why...
I don't know if they wanted to not make it the freedom kind of aspect, almost, if they wanted to make it kind of just a little...

(01:47:27):
Maybe they wanted to set it up for...
I'm not keen too.
But they ruined Scottish Biddleoo. Yeah, feed them bigger though.
But they sort of ruined that by the subtitles at the end of the film that tells you what happened, you know?
So, after the Battle of the Hill, Bannockburn, it sort of...
If there was ever in their mind to do a follow-up, they wouldn't have done that because, you know, for anybody not familiar with their history,

(01:47:55):
that those lines at the end of the film, kind of spoil a potential sequel for anybody who doesn't know what actually happened, right?
A Greg, have you not seen films before?
Look at the Halloween 2, like James Lecartus finds out Michael Myers is a sister, and then H2O still is, and then they rewrite it when it comes to the New Halloween films.
You can just fuck up the timelines, it's fine.

(01:48:18):
If they do, you know, it's fine. They can do whatever they like and rewrite things.
Well, there's two other Bruce films, which I've not seen, and I didn't have time to try and watch in time for today because we only had a week.
Now, the first one, The Bruce, staring all over Reed and Will from Gladiator, I understand that that does cover Bannockburn, the Battle of Bannockburn.

(01:48:42):
Sorry, did you just say "Bove from Gladiator"? Is Gladiators, is in The Bruce?
There's a film, The Bruce, but all of our reading, "Bove from Gladiator"?
Yeah, keep our half the brave heart. I never knew the very first.
It didn't do very well. I can tell you the full cast. I've got it open on my screen right now.
So you've got Sandy Welch, who plays Robert The Bruce, whoever the fuck he is. He's not even got a Wikipedia page.

(01:49:05):
Oliver Reed, as Robert Wishart. Brian Blessed plays Longshanks.
Richard The Brindlecom plays Edward II. He, again, he doesn't have a Wikipedia page, so we'll never know who he is.
Pavel Douglas plays John Common. He'll The Guard Neill plays Eleanor of Castile. Michael Van Witch, who I guess is Dutch.

(01:49:30):
He plays Henry De Bohun, who I mentioned earlier on, who gets his, who got his fucking heads cut into.
Dee Hepburn of Gregory's Girl, who plays Robert The Bruce's wife. Ronnie Brown plays Maxwell.
I don't know who either of those are. They act to what the character. Jake Darcy is Chief McKenzie, but it's not on Wikipedia.
But I know for a fact that Wolf of Gladiators is in it as well.

(01:49:53):
It's probably on YouTube because it famously made fuck all money. The budget was half a million quid, and I don't think it even made fucking ten grand.
Now, the other one came out in 2019, and it stars Angus McFadden, who plays Robert The Bruce and Braveheart.
So, there's a bit more about that film on Wikipedia. It doesn't cover the events of Bannockburn.

(01:50:16):
It's all about Bruce being wounded and taken in by some village women and getting close to their family and everything.
It doesn't cover the historical excitement that we want to see on the big screen, which is probably why it only made £20,000 in the UK and it's opening a week.
Sad save on fingers.
The sad state of affairs. You know what? I mean, I think I said at the beginning of the pod, you know, they could read like a fair bit about Scottish history this year.

(01:50:43):
Some of it I knew, just from kind of growing up and everything, but a lot of the detail I didn't know.
But this period in Scottish history is really exciting to read about.
You know, it's got intrigue, it's got betrayal, it's got fierce battles.
It feels perfect for like a big exciting sort of swashbuckling film, but there's very little really movies about Scottish history really.

(01:51:09):
It just so happens that one of them is an incredibly famous well-awarded film in the shape of Braveheart.
Well, I would say yeah, I really enjoyed watching this film, really enjoyed it.
I thought it was, it was great, nice bit of Scottish history and nothing against Chris Pine at all, for his accent, right?
Yeah, really enjoyed this and yeah, you should make more Scottish history films in terms of the sheds, because it's such an exciting period.

(01:51:37):
The good thing about this film as well, they unlike Braveheart and Mubroy, majority of the film was actually shot in Scotland.
Very true, yeah.
And I need to issue a correction, I gave an erroneous fact earlier on.
Archie Ball the Grimm wasn't Robert the Bruce's son, he was one of the black dog Mrs Sons.
He had two sons, he had William who became the board after James died and Archie Ball the Grimm who I guess didn't become,

(01:52:05):
they didn't rise to nobility.
And one very last fact, the choris have got a song about the black dogless.
Oh, so there you go.
If you remember the choris, they were a massive sculptor, they were huge.
Yeah, remember the choris, yeah of course.
So there you go, I guess it's time to put the outlook in through the smiley awards.

(01:52:28):
Yes, let's do it Greg, what have we got first?
Right, so even though Bobby the Barman is in the film, we're rather the actor, the plays Bobby the Barman, Gavin Mitchell is in the film, there are no pubs to speak of.
No, so we'll go right on to the James Cosmo award for being in everything Scottish.
No shortage of choices here, but I think you've got to give it to Cosmo.

(01:52:53):
It's Cosmo.
The awards named after him, like, yeah.
Rabath like was a close second, but it has to be Cosmo.
Well, I gave, I gave Aflik, Donahey and Gilchrist and Cuddon sort of special mention, but yeah, the Cosmo is the, yeah, is the winner of that one.
And the next one then is the, again, no shortage of choices here, but the J. McQuill and your T-Zoot award for the two pick for this one.

(01:53:20):
I went and there are quite a few, obviously, but I went with Robert Punching, Edward at the end, just after the last battle.
Yes, very in the, very in the McQuill and tradition at one.
I think also the, the, the slap that the Lady of the Eil's gives to Angus when he comes, when he returns back home is a good one.

(01:53:42):
You could also have, there's a couple of double-header of the, the impaling of Alex Bruce and the boat, but also the impaling of the unusual character Drew, the Squire who carries the Bruce who saves the Bruce's crown from the first battle and gives it to him as he's taken his last breath when the blooded fields of Loudon Hill.

(01:54:03):
Next one then, the Francis Bagbay Award for Gratua to Swearing.
Where did you go for for this?
I went with Douglas. Where's that conclifford?
It feels very much in this tradition. Where would you?
That was in my top three. I, I loved Angus's wife, where the fuck have you been?
And slapping him across the face, but for me it has to be black, Douglas. What's my fucking name?

(01:54:29):
Yeah, yeah, it's a great one. Yeah, all good, all good ones there.
Next then, the Yuen McGregor Award for Gratua's nudity. A couple of choices.
It's Chris Pines' cock in the lake. Let's just be honest. There is a sex scene which is
not necessarily needed, but it is in part of the story of the film. However, Gratua it is.

(01:54:52):
There's no need for Chris Pines to just be in that lake with his cock.
No, coming out. That is what the award is. Gratua it is nudity.
And I think the sex scene and we can speak all about Florence Pius Tatas and Chris Pines,
P.P. and Bumbum in that scene, but I think that kind of was needed for the storyline,

(01:55:13):
whereas Chris Pines just being in the lake, just coming out with his cock out.
Was that needed? Yeah, probably not.
But we know that David McKenzie-Lites is leading actors to get their cock out.
That's very true.
Yeah, just one of his little foe the most perhaps.
And then the next award then the sort of archetypal Scottish moment. What was you go for here?

(01:55:39):
We've done this for Braveheart and we've done it for Rob Roy really.
It's just the general kind of hatred of the English.
Yeah, I mean, you could have had that. I had Select a Pius of Religion. It's pretty Scottish.
Yeah, that's probably a better choice actually. That probably works a little bit better.
Yeah, we find a wee bit of a wee jaggy Thistle in bed.

(01:56:03):
Have you ever done that, Dovee Lee? Have you ever done that? No.
No. Find a wee bit of jaggy. No. Okay.
No, I'm sure, I'm sure, you know, I'm sure maybe one of our listeners has,
but no, thankfully, it's never happened to me.
And then the last one then, the Sean Connore award, who won the film for you?
Who have you gone for? Tough one for me.

(01:56:24):
I think Aaron Taylor Johnson is, he gives great value, you know, it's great fun.
Every scene he's in is great because most scenes he's in is fucking attacking somebody in some shape or form.
And he's in all the exciting moments.
Chris Pine is very, very good, you know, a bunch of, well, reigned praise on the Scottish accent.
I think Chris Pine's a likeable guy in real life.

(01:56:47):
And I think he, that's quite, you know, he was in Scotland a few weeks ago.
I think he, I think he sort of fell in love with the Scottish countryside when he was making this film.
We had him on the purple tin game a few episodes ago.
That's, yeah, we did, exactly.
But I think for me, in terms of just what I really enjoyed about the film,
and yeah, he's not in it as much as the other actors, but I just really enjoyed Tony Cuddon.
I just think he needed to see him in more things, you know, for me,

(01:57:11):
you really, he really brings a lot of authenticity to his part and to the dynamic,
can everything, and I just really enjoy these performance.
You know, I think it was good to see him playing a character, you know, sort of based on a real person.
But, you know, it's, it's, because I think about this film, yeah, you know,
it's about a serious time in Scottish history, but it's a good ride, you know what I mean?
It's, it's good fun. It's a, it's a ride this film.

(01:57:34):
And I think Cuddon is, you know, in barrel and sea and then playing like a serious,
sort of damaged character, it just seems like he's having a great time.
Yeah, true.
Because it feels to me like he's enjoying, he's enjoying given his performance.
You know, I, I enjoyed watching it.
Now look forward to his moment. So I would, for me, it was Cuddon.
How about you?
Yeah, kind of similar.

(01:57:56):
I think Chris Pine is incredible in this, like I really, really liked performance.
Florence P's amazing.
I gave it to Aaron Taylor Johnson, because when I think of this film, I will think of his character.
And I will think of, say, my fucking name and just the brutality and the scene of the church
and just what he's got spit running down his beard and blood all over his face and just raging.

(01:58:21):
And yeah, he wins it for me. Tony Curran would probably come a close second, actually,
because he is fantastic. And I love the kind of interaction, especially that scene I mentioned earlier,
when he's like, stay the fuck away from my daughter.
But yeah, I think I would go with, yeah, Aaron Taylor Johnson for that.
But yeah, cool.
Very good.
Wonderful.
Okay, so that was my choice this week, Greg. So you know what?

(01:58:46):
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, Greg.
And our next episode of The Culture Swally will be our Christmas episode.
So why do you tell us what we're going to be looking at on the Christmas episode of The Culture
Swally, Greg?
Well, I've gone for a deep, deep cut and one that I've never seen before.

(01:59:07):
I've chosen it because it was broadcast at Christmas. It was part of, I think, Channel 4 or ITV's Christmas programming,
starring the late, great, Robbie Coltraine, who's accompanied by people like Bill Murdoch,
Ron Donahay, Craig Ferguson, mature, and it's 1992's The Bogey Man, where he plays a mental patient

(01:59:34):
who believes he's Humphrey Bogart. So, yeah, looking forward to watching that.
I've never seen it. And we've not had, like, we've not really had a ton of culture and appearances
on The Cultures' Swally, really considering how many episodes we've done over the last few years.
So that is something we shall have to remedy to paraphrase another Scottish historic Olympic.
Both we had to mend. We've had to mend a couple of things.

(01:59:57):
Or, yeah, instead of everything he's done, not great, not the comparatively speaking.
Not as much as, you know, some other Scottish acts.
No, definitely not. Not as much as Alex Norton.
Definitely not. I wanted to rectify that, but wonderful.
Okay, so The Bogey Man, which I believe is available on YouTube.

(02:00:18):
Yeah.
Or do you homework for the Christmas episode? You can watch it there.
Well, I hope it is. Otherwise, it might be something completely different in the next episode.
It's definitely available on YouTube, but if it's, if it's something not anymore, don't worry Greg.
I downloaded it the other day, so it's fine.
Oh, okay.
From YouTube.
So, booking.
Anyway, okay. Right.

(02:00:40):
Well, thank you very much, Everglow for listening.
If you want to get in touch with us, you can you can email us on cultureswally@gmail.com
or if you want to follow us on socials, you can follow us on Instagram @CultureSwallyPod
or if you want to follow us on X, which was forballynownessTwitter,
you can follow us @swallyPod and Greg, we have a wonderful website as well, don't we?

(02:01:01):
Yep, you can find us at cultureswally.com, the links to all the episodes, some articles about Scottish media and culture.
I'll put up the picture on the earlier news story about the doll when you guys can let us know if you think that they can see a creepy wee face there
or a fish, you know, just a lot of bollocks.
We'd love to hear from you.

(02:01:22):
Fantastic. Right.
Well, I'm going to go off and research some creepy wee dolls.
Right. Well, I'll see you at Christmas, Greg.
See you at Christmas. Until next time.
Until next time.
I could talk about God.
But He has no place where we are going.

(02:01:44):
I could talk about honor.
But you are here.
You know enough about honor.
I know you all as men.
But today,
today we are beasts.

(02:02:08):
We fight for God, for honor, for country, for family, for yourselves, I do not care so long as you fight!
[Cheering]
[Music]

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Episode 88 - Outlaw King (2018)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 88 - Outlaw King (2018)