Episode 93 - Soft Top Hard Shoulder (1992) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:30):
Yeah I'm very well, can I just say for the record that I don't tell animal rights collectors
to fuck off?
I just think I know I've heard that.
I don't think I've just spoiled my best use of swearing award for the end of the podcast
as well, but never mind.
How are you today?
I'm very well, I'm just admiring people who listen to the podcast regularly will know that

(00:54):
Nicky has recently moved house and I'm just admiring your little sort of reading chair
in the background there because that will be the next to your wrestling part of finialia.
Yeah I have always wanted that chair, not always wanted but for years I've wanted this
chair and it's an Ikea chair, it's an Ikea reading chair and I've wanted it for a long

(01:16):
time and recently moved house and I thought right I'm going to buy this chair and it has
it and a company in food still as well, but for the chair in the food still is like 300 euros
and I'm like, that's a bit much, you know what I've just moved house, I've just had to pay
for a lot of new furniture and stuff, I'll leave it for a minute and then one night I
was sat on mark flats which is like a, someone's like Facebook marketplace for the Netherlands

(01:42):
type thing or like a dobizel for Dubai type thing and here was someone selling a food
still in chair and they wanted a 120 euros for it so I put in a cheeky offer of 80 euros
and they came back and said I'll do 100, was that okay, went to see it and it is literally
just immaculate like it brand new so yeah got it for a third of the price, just chucked

(02:05):
in the back of a car and took it round and I love it, yeah I love sitting in my little
reading chair, very nice, like a real grown up, I am proper growing up, it's going to take
me 42 years, well, 43 next month, but yeah, it's taking me that long but I am a proper grown
up now, yeah, very good, I've been doing a bit of air travel, this week I was on the budget

(02:26):
airline so called Al Jazeera, not to be confused with the Pru-Aran Qatar, I've used network,
this is a budget airline and I'm sure it has to be the, I mean when you're living in my
least, you're not a bit spoiled because generally if I fly in you better than fly in with a major

(02:47):
carrier, so even economy is fine, you know, it's comfortable, you know, your KLMs, your
Emirates, your British Airways, but this Al Jazeera, there must be human rights violations
being committed to that plane, you don't even get about water and it was literally catching
the bus, it was just hellendous, so this is a warning to all, to avoid Al Jazeera Airlines,

(03:15):
it almost turned me into a right old racist, put it that way, but fortunately I too am a grown
up and managed to control my emotions, I hope you don't have to fly with them anytime soon,
now that you've just called them out on the podcast and criticised them, so because maybe
in future you might get a glass of water if someone's pissed it, you know, they don't
bring you anything, you've eventually got to buy everything, not even like a wee glass of

(03:39):
water, that would be the ultimate insult, I've got to buy, they've got to buy it and somebody's
pissed them it because I've roasted them on the podcast.
I have a, it's just something that cropped up in the last week, a story to tell you, and
I genuinely can't believe this and I'm amazed, so I met someone a couple of weeks ago and

(04:02):
we're speaking to them and she is English, and she's 37, so she's, you know, lived a little
bit, left England 2004, she lived in Barcelona, and since then, and she lived in Amsterdam for
the last like 10 years or so, and she says I'm the first Scottish person she's ever met.
What?
How is that possible?
How is that possible?
I'm f*cking white here.

(04:23):
I mean, so she's left England in 2004, and she went to Barcelona, she lived there for 12
years, and then she's been in Amsterdam ever since, yeah.
Right.
I'm the first Scottish person she's ever met.
Have you ran into any fellow travellers in Amsterdam in the five years or so, you're
little bit?
Yeah, of course, run to them all the time, like, we went to the pub, we ended up, you know,

(04:46):
ran to the Scottish, Scottish barmaid, barmaid, and then I reached out to the bar, like,
it's not exactly uncommon, run to Scottish people all the time.
I went to a toy fair a few months ago, and there was a guy that f*cking lived, used to live
in Hazelhead, but I was starting speaking to you.
Which is where I was from an Aberdeen.
It's not uncommon to bump into people.
Like, we get around quite a bit.
I mean, I've just been spoiled because I was living in Aberdeen and lived in Dubai for 12

(05:10):
years, and of course, I mean, Aberdeen is Dubai is just basically a mini Aberdeen in some
ways, because there's so many Aberdeen's there, but I just find it so random, like, they've
never met a Scottish person.
It's bizarre.
It's bizarre.
It's weird.
Well, you know, you have to remember, you know, that you're representing your country.
And what she thinks about Scotland will be based on what she thinks of you.

(05:34):
So no pressure.
So, you know, I met, I was out in the pub last Friday, and I ran into two fairbos from
Stonehaven.
Oh, wow!
Did they do the fireball?
No, thankfully.
Although, well, they might have done after I left, because it could quite possibly have
been in the post, to be quite honest, but they were a bit older than me.

(05:56):
And as you know, I'm a fan of Fred Perry, Polos, you know, and I was, and I was wearing one.
So I was in the toilet, having a, having a piss, and I don't know why I had to add that
little detail in, but anyway, might have been in a line.
Not in Dubai.
There was an English fella at the Irrino next to me and he said, "Oh, Fred Perry."

(06:19):
I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
I said, "I like Fred Perry stuff."
He said, "Oh, he said, "Oh, you're Scottish."
I said, "I am."
He said, "I'm at a table with two Scottish guys and they're both wearing Fred Perry shirts."
I was like, "Really?"
So, you know, so we walked back in on the bar together and sure enough, here's these two
guys in Fred Perry shirts.
So I say hello to them and it turns out they're from Stonehaven.

(06:41):
So we get chatting and I end up sitting with them for about 10-15 minutes.
Quite a lot of wise being told, I think.
In what way?
So I was saying that I thought Stonehaven was a really nice town, you know, and I was talking
about the time that I spent on Aberdeen and blah, blah, blah.

(07:01):
And the first guy said to me, he said, "You're not from Aberdeen."
I said, "No, no, I'm from Glasgow."
And he said, "So which team do you support?"
And I said, "I don't support the Fox team."
I said, "I don't support either team."
I said, "If I'm being honest, I don't really follow a team, but if I've got a team in
the SPL that I like to see when it would be Aberdeen because I lived there for quite
a long time, like my best pals, Aberdeen fan."

(07:23):
So I like to see the dawns when he said, "Oh, he said, "That's a Rangers fan."
I was like, "What?"
He said, "Yeah, I can't remember why he's a Rangers fan."
There was a tale to tell, but his pal who is sitting next to it, who is sitting next to him
is an Aberdeen fan.
So anyway, I said, "It's talking to his pal and we're talking a bit close."
And I said, "I really like the book, "Blood the Occasions" by J. Allen about, you know,

(07:48):
the Aberdeen trendies in the early 80s and all that sort of stuff.
Yeah, it's a fantastic book.
So then the story starts, which can't be true, but the Rangers boy reckoned that the
trendies were in Aberdeen Stonehaven one night and him and his pals got into a tailored
with him and he reckoned that he bottled J. Allen.

(08:09):
He said, "It's in his book, it's in his mentions getting bottled in Aberdeen Stonehaven
and he's booking."
That was me.
I've read the book a long since I read the book, I can't really remember a detail like that.
And I've read the book a few times, as I know you have, but I can't remember a detail.
It's been a long time, I'm not even sure where my copy is to be honest.
So yeah, there was just, and then that led to some more tales about the adventures,

(08:33):
abroads and all this kind of thing and I just thought, "I'm going to excuse myself for
this and return to my companions."
But yeah, you know, you can just tell that someone's talking absolute shit.
I was looking through my book chest the other day because I have all my books in a chest
and I came across bloody casuals and I did think to myself, I had to reread that.

(08:57):
So I might bump up my list and reread it and I'll let you know if there is a story about
a bottling in Stonehaven.
Yeah, I do.
I mean, all my books were in the loft in our house in Glasgow and when I was back there
in the summer, I noticed that at least one box of my books has been stolen by tenants,

(09:17):
along with some other things, from the Lager company.
Yeah, by tenants bastards.
They don't make enough fucking money.
Yeah, I know, we've had a few tenants in there over the years and somebody is fucking stolen,
a box of my books.
And there's a few that I miss, but the ones that I'm really upset about is I paid quite

(09:38):
a lot of money for some hard back collections of Tales from the Crypt, the old 1950s EC
comic, I fucking love them.
So I had three or four volumes of Tales from the Crypt, I had a few of all the horrors, a
few weird sciences and they're fucking gone.
And they were 25 quite a volume, like about, this was back in about 2008, 2009, so fucking

(10:02):
be the upset about it, fucking gone.
Shocking, bastards.
I don't mind.
Well, anyway.
Hope to get what's coming to them.
So they'll get fireballed or maybe they get bowled in a barn, so he can fire a...
And then we range us fan, that'll serve them right in the 1980s.
Yeah.
Right, okay.
Shall we have a look at what's been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks,
think, Greg?

(10:22):
Cue the gender.
[MUSIC]
Hello, this is the out there heavily spent casting collaboration.
And here is what's been going on in the new...
Okay, Greg, what have you seen in the news over the last couple of weeks that has caught
your eye and you'd like to share with me and our lovely listeners?

(10:44):
Well, once again, it's been a bit of a lean week for Swally Century News and then I came
across one which I think we've had the same sort of story about a hundred times over
the years we've been doing the podcast.
It comes from the other record on Thursday, the 25th January.

(11:05):
I think Shawks' Chippy staff with Sausage Supper after pulling down his pants in the trip.
This is Greg Patterson aged 40, as a photograph of him.
I mean, I've got, you know, the six years on Craig and he looks like he's got fucking 30 years
on me.
He exposed himself at the Chippy take away in West Lothian in May of 2022.

(11:29):
An 18-year-old girl and a 51-year-old man who had been drinking with Craig in the Bluebell
Inn in West Lothian saw him standing outside in nearby news agents.
He asked them to wait for him while they ordered food from a nearby takeaway food shop called
the Chippy.
Knowing that he was heavily under the influence of alcohol, they decided to keep an eye
on him to make sure he got home safely.

(11:51):
However, when the man and woman went into the shop to hurriedly accuse the long, he suddenly
boasted to them that he had an eight inch thick and massive box.
He added that if the man gave him £50, he'd get them out, the things didn't share of
court was told.
His drinking companion Joke and they told him, "Go on then, and Patterson prompt the unzipped

(12:13):
his jeans, drop his trousers and underwear, and expose his penis and testicles to them."
He in a teenager told Patterson to put his genitals away and the accused did as he was
ordered.
All three of them went back to the Bluebell Inn, went back to the Bluebell Inn on Main Street
in West Calder where Patterson ate the food that he bought.
I can't imagine the pub being over the moon about someone bringing their own Chippy in.

(12:36):
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
That's the most unbelievable part of the story for me so far.
Yeah.
So Patterson of Structfield, Crescent, Broxton, West Lothian, in case somebody wants to go
on Chappy's door, appeared for Cent, and Thursday, after earlier pleading guilty to intentionally
exposing his genitals in a sexual manner with the intention that the witnesses would see

(12:57):
them in May to this intimately, too.
His not guilty pleas to sexually assaulting the teenage girl in the pub by stroking her legs
and making indecent sexual comments towards her and to others were accepted by the Crown.
So he's just a flasher, not a sex case.
Charlie Morrison, defending, said Patterson was not subject to the notification requirements

(13:19):
commonly known as the sex offenders register because a court had ruled that the remaining
charge of getting these balls out did not have a significant sexual element.
Well, that's sure he was shot at me a quick 50 quid off his pal.
50 quids a bit much just to ask for getting your balls out.
I mean, I, I mean, our friend that Bill Jones went over, he said, "It's me, you used to do

(13:42):
that for free all the time."
So to charge 50 quid, Crescent could have made a fortune with many times.
Before I can live in the lap of luxury, if we're paid, you every time you get your
bozzet.
So Morrison added that Craig was in, what's his name again?
Yeah, Craig was in, homeless accommodation at the time.

(14:04):
It doesn't remember what happened, but it says the matter has been a wake up call for him.
So yeah, the sheriff Susan Craig sent in Patterson to carry out 160 hours of unpaid work in
the community for within six months.
He said she told them, "This was a clearly ridiculous incident in your absolutely right to be ashamed
of yourself."
That was a pollen behaviour and must have been shocking for those in a chip shop where

(14:27):
you behaved in that way.
I mean, you know, it's times of change, but quite a lot.
I think because I have seen some absolute spectacles in the wee hours of the morning queuing for
a curry or a cabab as a young man.
And I don't remember anybody getting arrested.
No, I was just about to say some of the sites I've seen in a chip shop, yeah, to you.

(14:51):
But yeah, we were talking about 20 odd years ago, when we were doing that.
But yeah, I've seen some sites in chip shops.
I've seen many of boob in a chip shop.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Ladies flashing their boob to get extra chips or something, or to get to the front of the
queue, or I've seen many people getting fishy fingers in a chip shop.

(15:13):
I've seen many sites, I mean, for good sake, or we go back to the pie shop with chapels
street and we used to always ask the guy if he was really a master baker and stuff.
And yeah, you see some sites in there, but it's all about a drunk in fund, isn't it?

(15:33):
Yeah, times have changed now, but 50 quid, I think, is extortionate just to get your
bozu?
Yeah.
I still can't quite believe that night.
You... I can see your cork in my mains eye.
I'll still press against the glass.

(15:56):
They didn't write on the other side of the window where people eat in the dinners.
I mean, in my defence, I think I'd had a bottle of like, Saint Spreys, Vortica, which was
fucking like paint stripper.
And I mean, I must have only been like, what, 21?
Yeah, maybe, maybe even a bit over half my life ago.

(16:20):
Yeah, I don't, you know what?
I don't regret it, but I don't condone it.
It happened.
It's what happened.
Yeah.
And as you said, I think you said in the previous episode, there was many times that we'd be
in a nightclub and we'd be dancing.
And we'd just tap you on the shoulder and point down to the top of my cork.

(16:41):
I don't know.
I know, like, you can't touch this by MC Hammer, we'll come on.
That would be Nicky's cue to draw my attention to this cork.
I can promise I've not done that for many a time.
But there was a period of time, I specifically remember actually.
I'm for fuck's sake, I'm going to regret saying this so much.

(17:01):
I might cut this out, I don't know.
I was going to buy a 2002, it was when I was just leaving uni.
And Jackass was a very obviously big show.
Yeah, I was huge at that time.
And it became kind of a joke, most of my uni friends, they would start humming the part
a boy song and I would start stripping off.

(17:26):
And I have a photo of me actually in the middle of Bonacore Street in Aberdeen wearing
an Indian headdress, not a proper fool, like a party shop Indian headdress.
It's my shirt open and my trousers are my ankles dancing to the party point theme, my friends
for humming.
Oh fuck, yeah, my colour.

(17:48):
Anyway, I don't think that's worse than pressing your cork up against the glass of a busy
restaurant and a friend in a heat to be quite honest.
Yeah, that's probably true actually.
Yeah, that was just a bit of high jinks.
I pressed my caulk into glass, might have offended a few diners, especially for a vegetarian.
But that wasn't that common back then, so nevermind.

(18:09):
Anyway, let's be fun.
Fuck sake, I'm going to really struggle editing this episode.
Okay, so what is happening to our sausage supper hero?
A hundred and sixty hours of unpaid work that he's got to complete within six months.
I mean, surely, if a judge was having a laugh, she would just find him.
50 quid and say that's 50 quid you got for getting your cork out.

(18:32):
That's what I would have done.
I hope he's still got that money.
Yeah, anyway, hopefully his learnt his lesson.
He doesn't remember any of it, maybe he had a couple of bottles of Saint-Soviet's vodka
as well before he made the ship.
Anyway, that's my first story.
What's your first story?
My first story this week, Greg, is about, I've sent an old friend of the podcast, he's

(18:54):
not really a friend, but we did cover his story back on episode 40.
49 of the culture, Swelly, a sense of freedom available wherever you get your podcast.
So this is about Jimmy Boyle, the gangster turns artist who has helped a latest Scott's
word be added to the dictionary.

(19:15):
I'm quite fascinated by this because recently we kind of both got the same TV package.
Maybe you shouldn't mention that, don't know.
And I kind of have been making a point of like, I've been booking like phantom meetings
from 3 to 4 pm every day because I've been watching count die.
I'm like addicted to it again.

(19:38):
So this is from Glasgow Live this week.
So convicted murderer turned artist Jimmy Boyle has helped get the Scott's word, "defi,"
meaning to ignore someone into the Oxford English dictionary.
A new meaning for "defi" has been included in dictionary to reflect it being a Scott's

(19:58):
slang term.
Boyle has been honored with a mention in the latest edition of the dictionary after being
credited with helping to popularize the term, which can also be spelled "defi."
Now that meets something, so I should actually confirm.
The new word is "defi."
"deaf ie," whereas the other term is "deaf y."

(20:22):
So the dictionary research is found that one of the earliest printed mentions of this word
was in the 179 year olds 1984 prison diaries book "Pain of Confirement," which chronicle
his time in Glasgow's Barlinny.
A passage in the book reads, "Ladies really down at the moment, I spoke to them, but you
slungly a defi."
The official entry for "defi" in the dictionary reads, "Scottish," an act of ignoring

(20:45):
a person, especially into sling also through a person.
"defi" to ignore something that a person is saying, to fail deliberately to respond, or
to engage with someone, or something.
The dictionary also cited a recent mention of the phrase in a Twitter post to show that
it is still "common use" among Scots.
Commenting on Scottish politics, a man from Glasgow posted, "The partly that's been listening

(21:08):
to this electorate is definitely throwing a defi."
The dictionary said that the word "defi" has in the past also been used as an offensive
term for a deaf person.
However, it is noted that deaf people had sought to reclaim the word in recent times by using
it to refer to themselves, which I think is really nice, and that's a really good term.

(21:30):
Take it back.
Take it back.
The entry stated, although originally depreciative, and still likely it calls offense, "defi"
has increasingly been used frequently with a capital initial as a neutral or positive self-designation.
Will, once dubbed "Scottlands Most Violent Man" was brought up in Glasgow Gorbals area,
and was jailed for the murder of fellow gangster Willie Babs' Reign in 1967.

(21:54):
He turned to art while serving his sentence and became a fame sculptor and author upon his
release of prison in 1980.
His first memoir, "A Sensitive Freedom" was published in 1977 and later turned into a film
as the same name, starring Scott Sackter and Cosmo Sofa Warrior David Heeman as his
boyle.

(22:14):
And yeah, we covered that in '94, I think I said of the swallow.
So if you want to go back and listen to that, and if you want to watch a sentence of freedom
highly recommend it, it was an incredible film.
But yeah, there we go.
Jimmy Boyle, getting a credit for adding a word to the Oxford English Dictionary.

(22:35):
I mean, there's a real Glasgow expression, I think, throwing somebody a "defi".
Yeah, I've heard some of my young nieces and nephews use in the word.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I wasn't familiar with it, to be honest.
Yeah, it's a very, it's a very Weser Scotland term, I think.
There's "defi", there's "empty", I've got an empty moment, or...

(22:57):
No, no, no.
So, so, so, it's got an empty, let's go around and piss in the fish tank and drink all
our dad's booze.
But, yeah, like a "defi".
So, I mean, so, in the Oxford dictionary, it's in the Oxford English Dictionary, "defi".
So, it's now a legitimate word on count down, right?

(23:18):
I don't know how I feel about a word like "defi" because, like, I always think, you know,
I think, worse like that, I think, all was a slang, you know, like, to sort of, the
"get a miser" by putting them in a dictionary sort of, they sort of lose their impact
about it.
Yeah, but you get a lot of slang terms in a dictionary nowadays.
I think they're constantly adding words, and that's all you get nowadays, really.

(23:38):
The only words that we add to our vocabulary are slang terms, or, you know, text kind of,
like, I'm sure "LOL" is probably an addiction reader.
Or, you know, it's not a deviation the way "LOL" is, and that shouldn't be an addiction.
Yeah, that's a good point, actually.
So, maybe it's not.
All right, I can't think of an example right now, but I'm sure there are other terms that

(24:00):
have been spawned that are in the dictionary.
But they think, like, if you look up the word "empty" in dictionary, it says, like,
"One, you know, whatever, the definition of it" would be to somebody's got a woman died
out of the way for the night.
Maybe.
You know what?
When you're telling this our next new story, I'm going to look that up in the online dictionary

(24:20):
and see if there's a reference to that.
Anyway, congratulations to Jimmy Boyle, so, yeah, good luck.
Yeah.
That's, you know, obviously he has got a lasting legacy in terms of, obviously, his crimes.
But as an artist and an author and his film will be there forever and now, he's in the dictionary.

(24:41):
I read Bonnehead's books years and years and years ago, I can't remember what it's called,
but it's about criminal with learning difficulties and getting out a jail and going to the halfway
house and readjusting that.
I see the call that was quite a good book, but I can't remember.
Yeah, I can't remember.
I don't know.
Either.
Okay, just to get ahead, empty Oxford English Tiction Definition with no people or things

(25:07):
inside.
A few of the things are sides with no meaning, not meaning what is said is the second definition.
A person or person's life unhappy because life does not seem to have a purpose usually
after something sad has happened.
That's feeling empty.
And then empty of something without a quality that you would expect to be there words that

(25:29):
were of empty meaning there's no reference to someone whose parents be the way they
go and take up and doing like a Glasgow version of Project X.
I would fucking love it.
Please actually, you know what?
Let's write a fucking Glasgow version of Project X.
Get that made and we'll cover up this.
I'd fucking love to see that.
That'd be amazing.

(25:50):
Kevin Bridges has got a really good bit.
When they had their own stand-ups about going an empty when he was younger, it's really funny.
So, it's definitely worth watching.
I'm disappointed that DeFi has made the Oxford dictionary a bit loud version of empty,
hasn't that definition of empty, hasn't been added.
Well, if you write to the good people at the Oxford English Tictionary, maybe they'll rectify
that in the next edition.

(26:11):
I'll just write to Jimmy Boyle.
You seem to have got you since I've got a bit of sway over there.
Yeah, but I don't think he had the first use of the term empty, did he?
So, we'd have to find out where the first use of using empty in that way came from.
Anyway, what else have you seen this week, Greg?
Well, my next one is a political story.

(26:31):
Now, it comes from the Scottish sun.
Everybody knows that the sun is a totally whancrag.
So, it's about the SNP, specifically, Nicarolesturgeon.
So, you know, they're kind of going forward a little bit.
But the headbound needs Petey and Childish, Nicarolesturgeon and top aid labeled Mean Girls.

(26:54):
And there's the Mean Girls logo is behind the picture of Sturgeon and her aid.
After they called Boris Johnson a fucking clown in swearing messages.
Nicarolesturgeon and her top aid were last night accused of acting like Mean Girls in
swearing messages where they slagged off Boris Johnson and plotted a bust-up with number

(27:17):
10.
Victoria also branded the former First Minister and then Chief of Staff Liz Lloyd Petey and
Childish after their WhatsApp chats were published at the UK Covid inquiry.
The included Mr. Sturgeon, or Mr. Sturgeon rather, calling the XPM a fucking clown for announcing
a second lockdown for England on a Saturday night.

(27:38):
And Ms. Lloyd said she wanted to set up a good old-fashioned ramy with the UK government
over furlough.
So she could think about something other than sick people.
The former SNP leader then replied, "Yeah, I get it."
Last night, Scottish Conservatives deputies leader Megan Gallagher said the X-Racks from
their online pandemic chats showed the pair acting like Regina George in the plastics in

(28:02):
Mean Girls.
That's it, I don't think it does.
She was referring to the US High School movie, which was remade this year, but actually
we made as a musical.
I don't think it's like, I think it's the musical that's turned into a film, not the
original Lindsay Lohan movie.
She was referring to the US High School movie, which features a bitchy Queen B and her

(28:23):
clique of faunting cronies.
Ms. Gallagher added, "It's pathetic and shameful that as the death toll mounted, yeah, because
you're fucking party, Megan, their focus was on picking fights with the UK government.
It wasn't just Petty and Childish, it was disgusting."
The SNP's blast game after the hearing in Edinburgh was shown behind the scenes online

(28:44):
chats, rather not chats, between Ms. Sturgeon and Ms. Lloyd, including them mulling over what
to do about pandemic restrictions.
In one of their conversations from Saturday, October 31, 2020, Ms. Sturgeon branded the UK
government's handling of a second lockdown as "fucking excruciating".

(29:04):
It came as Mr. Johnson made the announcement for England only in a prime time tally statement.
The WhatsApp text from Ms. Lloyd to Ms. Sturgeon at 6.40pm that night said, "Hit in the
15 minutes between the rugby and strictly to allow the country up.
Let us never do it like this."
Raging at the PM, Ms. Sturgeon added, "His utter incompetence in every sense is now offending

(29:28):
me on behalf of politicians everywhere.
He is a fucking clown."
So I'm not going to do the whole article, but Hamza Yusuf, current First Minister, hits
back.
He rejects the charge and its entirety.
He knows the motivation.
Every step of the way was to ensure that the people of the country were kept safe.

(29:52):
But Jenny Godley, she sort of got a little flush of fame during the pandemic, because she
probably know because when she was overdubbing Nicolasturgeon's pandemic responses.
So she released that video the other day, which maybe they could post a link to on Twitter.
And it's hard doing Sturgeon, but Sturgeon stood at the podium saying, "Yeah, we did call

(30:17):
Boris Johnson a fucking clown, but we also called him a shit rat, a boss cunt."
"Wist's always like really sort of a West of Scotland, expletives and so on."
So I think it's a lot of names for someone, so if you've not seen it, it's definitely worth

(30:38):
a few minutes at your time.
It may be chuckley yesterday.
So yeah, the post-mortem of the pandemic continues.
Everybody looking at point fingers and everything else.
I think most people just want to forget all about it and get all of their lives.
"Let's just win a lemon.
It was it for the pandemic.
Are they not going to be a culture swelling?"
"That's a very good point actually, yeah.

(31:00):
Every clown, every good point."
"Every clown."
"Let's be honest, did she say anything wrong?"
"I don't think she did."
"I remember, I remember Frankie Boyle, this great being in this great reporter's Johnson
as I'm a liver, the honey monster."

(31:25):
Years and years and years ago, when he was still there, when he was the nearer, he was
the nearer of London.
"Frankie Boyle's got a fantastic turn of phrase when it comes to roasted so...
I think I've told this on the swallow it before, but that is probably apart from Tony
Roper talking about touch the dog's ears.
But by second favourite moment, so off the ball was Tam Cowan, Quicksa Flash when Pat

(31:50):
Nevin was on and he was saying that he was at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant one night
and ordered this bottle of wine and the bottle of wine came and the picture of the woman
on the front of the bottle of wine looked exactly like his wife and he's like, it's just uncanny
and he's like, so I had to buy the bottle of wine and you know, take it home because it
just, the picture just looked so much like my wife, I couldn't believe it.

(32:12):
And Tam Cowan just Quicksa Flash, because I had exactly the same thing happen, but I
wasn't super market in the CDL ION, it was a box, a sugar box.
Always stuck with me, fucking hilarious.
But yeah, like, yeah, the pandemic obviously still hangs over us as you say, it was a bit of

(32:37):
a wild time and there was a lot of stuff and there has been a lot of shit slung around
recently as these investigations have been going on.
And I think there is some sort of murky stuff going on with like, deleted WhatsApp messages,
but we're not that type of podcast, we're not going to be very deep into that.
We just want to talk about the fact that Stargian is fucking been abusing.

(32:58):
Boris Johnson, calling in names.
G'don, you Jimmy Cranky, fucking amazing.
I just like the sort of pathetic reaction of Megan Gallicard, you know what I mean?
Just because she calls Boris Johnson a fucking clown in one message, she gets compared to
the group of characters in the movie who are essentially school bullies and campaigns

(33:20):
against all her kids and all that sort of stuff.
Thanks Nicholas, going home and writing in her burn book every night about Boris.
She's going down to Westminster and fucking taking these dinner running off them and flushing
his head down the toilet.
I mean, if he is getting his head down flushed in a toilet, I might account for that fucking
ridiculous haircut that he got fucking cuts about me.
Yeah, that's true, yeah.
It's a little bit insane, yeah, you'd think you would kind of get that sort of, never mind,

(33:44):
it is kind of a slip, yeah, Mr. Whippy.
Mr Whippy.
The level in Hollywood monster, I'll never know what that felt like.
Anyway, that was my second story this week, which you're...
My next story is not really a massive new story and the only reason I'm kind of covering
this on the episode is, in fact, there's two reasons.
One, it's been a pretty slow couple of weeks for a Geekson funny items.

(34:07):
Number two, it is quite relevant to what we're going to be talking about after this new story.
So this is an article from the Scottish Sun this week who you've just abused Greg, so
I hope that it'll cut us off because we get quite a lot of heart issues from there.
And it is about Peter Capaldi.
We are going to be talking about at length, I think, very shortly.

(34:29):
So Peter Capaldi has said that people finally know how to pronounce his surname thanks to
his namesake Lewis.
That's not his namesake Lewis, is it?
But I guess it's a surname, but you know what?
The actor said, thank God for Lewis Capaldi because it has brought an end to years of him having
to correct people.
Now, this article can't blew my mind in a way, but is it because of the Scottish?

(34:52):
Because I've never thought, but let me go into a little bit more detail.
The Doctor Who and Thicc of It Star, that's all the two things they've gone for rather
than soft, soft, hard, shoulder and comfort and joy.
No, not comfort and joy.
He was a local hero, that's what I'm thinking of.
He was credit and comfort and joy as ice cream advisor.
The, which we'll come to later on, the Doctor Who and Thicc of It Star are stressed that

(35:15):
his surname should be said like pal, like Capaldi rather than with a pool, like Capaldi.
Capaldi?
But I, that blue mind reading that, like, how did some people reference, but then is
that more of a Capaldi, Capaldi?
I don't know.
Like, I read this article and just kind of blew my mind like, eh?

(35:36):
Why would any imprennance at Capaldi?
Capaldi, 65, said that chart topping Lewis also pronounces his surname the same way.
Well, I'd hope so.
It's the same surname.
And informed people, and informed people how to say correctly when he appeared on the
radio with BBC2 radio host Joe Wiley.
Speaking on the, where there's a will, there's a wake podcast.

(35:57):
Capaldi said Capaldi, that's wrong.
It's Capaldi.
I've had so many parlours about it.
I get so exhausted doing it.
Thank God for Lewis Capaldi.
I got a phone call.
I was at dinner one night and it was from Joe Wiley.
And she said Lewis Capaldi is coming on.
Is it Capaldi or Capaldi?
I didn't get the message until after dinner, because I was talking.

(36:20):
But she went on air and called him Capaldi.
And Lewis said, no, it's Capaldi.
And she said, no, Peter Capaldi said it's Capaldi.
It's easy to remember because I'll be your pal if you call me Capaldi.
Peter and Lewis are related with a doctor who actor being second cousin to the singer's
dad, Mark.

(36:41):
So, yeah, very interesting in terms of mispronunciation.
I don't get that Capaldi.
Why would you ever think it was Capaldi?
It's obviously Capaldi.
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's spelled sort of phonetically, you know
what I mean?
Yeah.
It's not difficult to say it.
In these English guys, just, my name's not Nicky.

(37:01):
Well, that is Nicky, but you know what I mean?
Like, I, like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's, it's weird, but I don't get the pool V. It's just odd.
I don't know.
I mean, I, I would, I thought more as your wily to be honest.
I've, I've walked from any years respected your wily.
So, I used to like our new music show and radio one back in the day, but, er, and I thought

(37:22):
she would have managed to get Capaldi.
It's not like, like, Peter Capaldi has just come in the scene anyways.
It's been known for fucking years.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Like, because Louis Capaldi is what?
Quite, um, what we're talking last maybe five years that he's been on the scene, but Capaldi,
like, the thick of it is probably what, like, 15, 16 years old.
Like, started in 2005.

(37:44):
So it's almost 20 years old.
And that was, I mean, he was obviously famous.
I don't know if we could talk about that later, Rob, but he was famous before then, but
that was probably what kind of massively, like, shot him into the stratosphere.
And everyone surely knew, is, is, is, Peter Capaldi.
I mean, I, God knows how they would pronounce the creator of that show's name, you know,

(38:05):
Armando E. Nucci, like, how, what, they're gonna really stuck on with that.
But, again, I don't know, famous Scottish, um, Italian.
But, I wonder if that's why.
I never thought about that.
I wonder if that's why he passed Capaldi, because they both Scottish Italians.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe, well, possibly.
I mean, that wouldn't be so, but I think, er, Nucci's from Glasgow.

(38:26):
So, they probably, they, they, they, they, they, I imagine they probably moved in the sort
of same circles, because I think they're in, but, I think there's sort of peers, you know,
so, yeah.
So, yeah, so that's probably why.
Yeah, fucking useless.
I mean, yeah.
And why would you, if you've got those Capaldi come on your show and you're not sure how
to pronounce his surname, why would you phone Peter Capaldi and leave a message rather
than when Lewis comes in, just say to Lewis, just what a checklist, how to pronounce

(38:50):
your surname, like, proper, like, surely that would be a lot simpler.
Well, I mean, if, if Joe Wiley,
has got his personal fucking phone number to be able just to ring him up and ask him how
it says name, you know, I think you should know what, how it says fucking name.
Yeah, that's true.
I agree.
I thought better with Joe Wiley.
I'm always going to be a big fan, but, um, that is the original.

(39:11):
Yeah.
Yeah, sort of self-outjewel.
Yeah.
Yeah, really, two percent are, come on.
Oh, shocking.
You'll be, you'll be, you'll be on six music before you know it, but that sort of thing.
Well, like, radio, Devon or something.
Anyway, so yeah, that is, um, the story of Peter Capaldi who I think we're going to be

(39:33):
talking about at length very shortly.
Um, have you seen anything else in news, Greg?
Nope.
That's, that sure.
Well, if you've seen anything in the news that you would like us to cover, or if you
have anything that you'd like us to cover on the culture s'wiley, you can get in touch
with us on culture s'wiley@gmail.com or follow us on the socials.
We're on Insta at culture s'wiley pod or x from Linois Twitter at s'wiley pod.

(39:58):
Right, Greg, before we go on to what we're going to be talking about today, let's have a
little word from our sponsors.
And our sponsor is, of course, Dorick skateboard, a skateboard brand created by Gary Kemp, whose
main focus is to explore the people and the culture of Aberdeen and the Northeast of Scotland,
and to create designs that reflect life in that area.

(40:18):
Dorick skateboard screen print their own decks in their studio by Gary's Fairhand, and
they have produced some amazing designs over the years, including an Annie Lennox Inspire
board, a Robert the Bruce Deck, and a plenty of pop deck inspired by the old Bonacore
trucks that used to drive around Aberdeen delivering fizzy drinks.
Dorick skateboard also replicated these amazing designs onto clothing, on 100% organic

(40:40):
cotton teas, hoodies, sweatshirts, and you can also fill your boots on stickers, pin badges,
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Gary regularly collaborates with local artists to ensure that he brings the latest designs
to the market, but always with a Dorick twist, including the Ballotter toy shop design, inspired
by Scotland, what, which we actually need to cover quite soon, Greg.

(41:00):
So check out Dorick skateboards for yourself on DorickScapeBoards.com, and you can follow them
on Instagram @DorickScapeBoards to see all the amazing designs on offer, and we are delighted
to be able to offer you 15% off as listeners to this podcast.
All you need to do is head to DorickScapeBoards.com, have a look at all the amazing decks, stickers,
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(41:24):
That's SWALLY, same as the name of this podcast, and get your 15% off.
That's DorickScapeBoards.com, link in the description of this episode.
So it was your turn to choose your content for this week's Nikkei, so why don't you introduce
this week's film.
Thank you, Greg.
So today we are looking at a listener recommendation, which came from Strong Henry, everyone's favourite

(41:48):
Canadian baker.
We are covering the 1992 film directed by Stefan Schwartz, and written by, and starring,
Peter Capaldi, Soft Top Hard Shoulder, having failed to make it in London as a comic
book-out artist, Gavin Bellini, played by Capaldi, and Italian glassweegin from an ice-cream
dynasty reluctantly yields to his uncle's demands that he returns home for his dad's 60th

(42:13):
birthday party, if he makes it.
The uncle, played by Richard Wilson, make him a share of the family fortune, but as he
heads north and is worn out triumph-convertible, Gavin meets countless obstacles.
When the car breaks down, Hitchhiker Vaughan, played by Elaine Collins, who is Peter Capaldi's
wife, helps to get it going, but Gavin soon tires of our company.

(42:34):
Worse, he loses his wallet, and then the progress becomes even slower.
Will Gavin reach the party on time?
So you mentioned to me on the last episode of Greg where I suggested that you had never
seen Soft Top Hard Shoulder, and I had never seen it until Henry recommended it, but I watched
over Christmas.
What did you make of it?
I mean, I had never even heard of this film until we did a vocal hero, and I was having

(42:58):
a look at Peter Capaldi's IMDB, because I feel like this local hero, the only thing we've
done with Peter Capaldi in it up until now, apart from what we're doing.
No, we did, oh God, what was the, oh Jesus, what's the name of the, with David Morrissey
and Ford Curenen?
Oh, a touch of the, the field of blood.

(43:20):
Field of blood, yes.
Yes, we've had Capaldi on field of blood, yes.
Okay, we'll have to do this second one, I'll answer.
Yes.
Look, you know, I really enjoyed it.
I mean, I love Peter Capaldi.
I just think he's fantastic, you know, they, I mean Malcolm Tucker must be one of my favourite
characters in anything.
I think he's just brilliantly, brilliantly realised character.

(43:43):
So it was good to, I mean, I've not seen a lot of the younger Capaldi on the screen, I don't
think, and that's what I've watched, probably only really local hero.
So to see him a bit younger and in a film like this, which is, it's, it's a pretty field
good film, you know, it's like an easy, it's an easy watch.

(44:04):
It's not, it's not necessarily a particularly original sort of premise, but you know, it's,
it's, it's well directed, it's, it's well acted.
I think Capaldi is in every scene.
Is there any scenes that he's not in?
I think he's in that every single scene.
Oh no, there's one or two scenes when we just see, when we just see a Vaughan for a moment
or two, but they, for the most part, is it, he's in the whole film.

(44:26):
And yeah, I really, really enjoy that, really, really enjoyed it.
I, I guess you enjoyed it too.
No, I, no, I, I'd loved it.
It's just such a, it's, it's right up my street, because it's just kind of a nice, gentle,
feel good film, and it's 90 minutes long, which always helps.
Yeah.
What's the fucking two hour, 36 minute film last night and that, yeah, it was quite long.

(44:48):
But it's, yeah, it, it, it kind of makes you feel good and I, I like this type of film where
nothing really happens, but tells a story and, and it's nice.
And it's very autobiographical.
And I watched the interview with Capaldi and, you know, he said, you know, of course he's
from Scottish Italian ice cream family descent and he was indeed a struggling artist when

(45:11):
he was younger.
So he, he poured a lot of this, you know, his life into this script and it shows a lot
and, you know, fair play at Capaldi, he wrote a charming film, which is basically about
a character kind of trying to win over a woman in a way, which, to a certain extent, you
know, is, is played by his wife.
So it, he kind of wrote this, almost as a love letter to her, potentially trying to woo

(45:33):
her.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
I think, and also the character he plays Gavin is not a particularly likeable character,
though, is he?
No, he's not, but he's sort of, he's sort of sorts myself out, I think, doesn't he?
And, you know, to me, you know, he has, it has an epiphany, which gives us like that really

(45:54):
nice affirming ending, you know, he, he, he goes on a, it goes on a, on a literal journey,
but he also goes on a bit of a spiritual journey and he's endeavours to get from London to
Glasgow in time for the birthday party and get the money off his uncle.
You know, he said, I think he sort of realises that he's the problem, you know what I mean?

(46:16):
He's opposed to, before that, you sort of get the impression that he feels a bit, um,
hard-bun-bye because he's not able to sell any of his artwork.
He's living with his, he's renting a room in his mates flat.
He's got that ancient, uh, trying to heralds that he's trying to, he's trying to do the journey
in the, um, crazy horse, as he calls it, you know, and she sort of brings them to the realization

(46:39):
that, you know, maybe he's a problem and maybe if he makes some changes, things will
start to work out for him.
I think, and I can, you know, be open about this, I think I, um, maybe solve it a bit myself
in terms of, um, the completely character because he, when you meet him in the beginning,
you know, he's obviously kind of down trodden and put up on him because life's not working
out for him.

(47:00):
Yeah, yeah.
And he's gone to shit and he's gone to London to try and work as this struggling artist
and thinking he's going to make it big, but it's not working out and summed up in the,
one of the opening scenes when he goes to sell his, his book to pumpkin books is a book about
a magic shoe, which is very violent that the foot gets cut off and, but, but she boils

(47:22):
it, you know, before she eats it, because, you know, um, but they're talking about miss
Brickiewin Cole and, um, they want something less perverse and of course the, the aggression
comes out when he comes out and does the animal rights clicker to fuck off and easy to
imporage at home and you can tell he's really struggling. However, the first glimpse that
you think actually, okay, he's not a bad guy is when, uh, John, his, effectively, his landlord,

(47:47):
says, and, you know, John seems like a nice guy, kind of like, I know you can't pay the rent
but this month it's fine, but I will need something soon.
And Gavin goes and sells his camera and immediately gives the money to John and you think, okay,
he's realized that he needs to do something and fix this.
So, you know, rather than just being like, yeah, I'll pay you later or something, I'll turn

(48:08):
up and, and leave it for a month. He, he does take a firm ev-action and, it's that right
for you to use actually, um, he does take action though and sells his camera to get money
and, and pays him. So you, you do think, okay, he is a good-ish guy. He does have the kind
of the right morals, but then obviously he meets his uncle, Salvatore and he kind of

(48:30):
think he's just in this for the money. But I agree, as the thumb progresses, he does
go on a journey and he, he kind of realizes that he needs to maybe open up more and not,
not let life beat him down and just live in the moment and just do what's right and yeah,
and, and I think it is a beautiful story and I think I've, maybe I fell in love with this
because I've watched it at the, the time of my life that I'm going through. It, it kind

(48:53):
of meant a lot to me. Yeah. I, I really resonated with Gavin in a way and like, the story
he went through. Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, because
over the autobiographical elements that he's put into, you know, I think he's, he's obviously
written Gavin as a sort of exaggerated version of himself or of the person that he was at

(49:16):
time in his life. You know, it's a very intuitive, uh, sort of performance. I thought that, uh,
I mean, if I was going to be critical of the film, it's not really a criticism, but it
felt like, you know, they've got the, there's a, the Chris Rhea soundtrack. And I felt
a wee bit, you know, they were made in vocal hero. I think we did restless natives right after
local hero. And obviously local hero has the big successful, uh, Mark Nopler soundtrack.

(49:42):
And then restless natives has the, the big country, uh, soundtrack. And then this has got
a soundtrack by Chris Rhea. Not quite as catchy as, uh, big country and big, big country's
music and restless natives and Mark Nopler's music in a vocal hero, I thought, I think you
can see though, the, the huge influence that local hero had on this film in terms of a lot

(50:08):
of the comedy is, is quite similar. And then of course, I mean, you can get more obvious
in having the rabbit in the road at one point. And the red phone box isolated on this place,
like it's, it's dripping in, in kind of bill for sight. And in a way, I did write down
in my notes, like, is this just a bit of a cheap bill for sight knockoff? But it's no, I,

(50:29):
I think it's a whole, yeah, I think, to, to bill for sight. And obviously, yeah, tribute,
because Capaldi was obviously influenced by it. And I think it's only natural that at
the time this was written and made that he was probably heavily influenced by Bill. And
you can't capture the, you know, bill for sight is a once in a generation kind of, yeah, for

(50:49):
sure. Like there's no one like him because his films are just incredible. Yeah. But I
can see where it was going. And that's probably why he picked like Chris Rhea to do the music,
thinking, right, okay? So Bill, yeah, got Mark Knott flore. So, okay. Yeah. Chris Rhea, yeah.

(51:10):
That work. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, I guess, well, it's a bit of a strange one. I mean, Peter
Capaldi is one of those people that I would love to sort of meet and talk to for a bit.
I watched them because I watched this film's available on YouTube. And that's what I watched
it all the way. I will say it's not a great, a great, terrible quality on YouTube. So maybe

(51:33):
try and find it elsewhere if you can. But because I'd watched it, I'm now getting lots of
Peter Capaldi in my YouTube feed. And there was one, for a few years ago. So obviously,
famously, he played Doctor Who for a few years. And there's a YouTube channel called our
program series, whatever, called the Doctor Who Fanshow. And he was on that. And he famously

(51:55):
Capaldi was grew up as a fan of Doctor Who. And I think, I think, every now and again,
a letter that he wrote to Doctor Who magazine is, is, is, is sort of dug up and discussed.
So he's talking about what it means to be a Doctor Who fan. But I didn't realize what
a talented artist, Peter Capaldi was. And obviously he was a fantastic actor. And I knew

(52:18):
that he was also quite an accomplished musician as well. So as he's the, so he talks about
the first three Doctor Who's, so William Hartnell, Patrick Trout and then John Pearty. But
as he's talking about them and he's talking about his memories of watching them on the
screen, he draws them. Like he draws it in. It's, it's sort of like, an economic, sort of caricature,
sort of style. But, and he draws them like really quickly. You know what I mean? It's like,

(52:44):
it's like when, and it's maybe not a good comparison to make, but when, when Wolf Harris would
draw like Bugs Bunny or something on this page before he introduced the cartoon, it's, I
know, it's not a great comparison, but it's, it's, but it's like that. And he's, he's
talking about his memories of watching these guys on the screen. And, uh, the drawings are
fantastic. I wonder where they are because anything is he actually, he draws them in pencil.

(53:07):
He, he, he, he, he does like the first four Doctor's. I tell you what, he does because right
up to Tom Baker. So he draws them in pencil and then he goes over them in like black pen. But
when he draws Tom Baker, because they're running out of time, he said, so I'm just going to, I'm
just going to do it with the marker. I'm not going to do it in pencil. I might regret
them. I might regret it, as he said, but I must have drawn Tom Baker a bit of a million times,

(53:27):
and I was like, it, I can draw him from memory. Um, yeah, it was astonishing. Gastonishinely.
Uh, I had no idea like, I had no idea what a good artist he was. Yeah. I think he, yeah,
very talent-nourished and a singer as well. He, he does have an album. Yeah. Yeah. The, um, to listen to you,
I don't know if it's as good as Lewis, but we'll find out. But at least people know to how it

(53:48):
prints his name. Um, I'm not going to pretend that this is just coming in my head because I have been
just reading his bookie as you were talking there. I was listening, of course, but, um, yeah, we have
covered him in something else as well. Yeah, they're totally, yeah, yeah. Rory in the crawl,
road. Um, I think for me, as you mentioned, and we've talked about this before, he will always be

(54:11):
Malcolm Tucker, and I think I'll put the clip in, you know, the, the, when he rips the absolute
r site of Rory, um, or guy, guy with a ginger hair. Yeah. What he, yeah, but it says he will
wiggly be he me in rhapsody on his bones, but he says, I think he says, he says, I'm going to
rill rip your skin off and weigh it to your mum's birthday party. Foss whistling, be he me in rhapsody,

(54:37):
yeah, that's it. Rubbing myself against our leg. Something like that. I think my, um, my favourite,
um, one of my favourite parts though has to be his, um, his description of Star Wars. Yes.
The wee guy, the, he's got a pedal bend and guy covering gold and, like, just absolutely

(55:02):
genius writing, but Capaldi just plays this so well. And I, like, I never watched him in Dr.
Hugh. I, um, I'll be honest, I watched Christopher Eccleston and then I kind of phased out of the
David tenon. I think I watched David tenon's run, but then I, I stopped watching it when Matt Smith
started and I've never watched it since apart from the Christmas day episode that we were

(55:23):
ever texting about and then kind of zoned out of that as well. But, um, yeah. I might go back and
revisit and watch Capaldi as Dr. Hugh because I admire him so much as an actor. Yes, good. And,
and I have read, in day and research for this, I've read a lot. He's a lot of people's, he's not
favourite. David tenon is pretty much everyone's favourite. Dr. Hugh, I guess, a new generation now,

(55:45):
you know, if you come back previous years, I'm sure it would have been. Come take a career. Or, uh,
John Partee or, um, but there's a lot of love for Capaldi's doctor. And I think it's because he brought
the Capaldi-ness to it. Yeah. Does that make sense? Like a kind of downbeaten...
Captain's accent. Aggressive. Yeah. Well, yeah, traditionally.

(56:05):
But just kind of a bit of a, you know, um, the gallows humour, kind of Scottish biting-ness to it.
And I think that comes across a lot in the script as well. There's a lot of sarcasm. Yeah. And,
and Scottish kind of feeling in this, um, in this film, which I think really adds to it and makes it

(56:25):
and, and, you know, there's a lot of obscure humour, which again is very built for Scythe-esque, but
it works here. Yes, I mean, I love him. I love the wee scene setter at the beginning of the film when
he talks about his grandfather coming over from Italy, and he'd meant to go to America. They ended
up in Scotland by mistake, but just pretending he was in America for the rest of his life, which is

(56:48):
just, maybe a laugh. The, the bit in that scene that makes it from me though is that it pops up of a
photo of five boys and he's, well, he explains that his, um, his grandfather married a Scottish woman.
She never learnt a word of Italian, and then this photo of five boys popped up, and she goes, maybe

(57:09):
she should have learnt the word 'no'. And... Which kind of, you know, sets the tone of the film,
but yeah, I thought that was a really nice scene setter. And I get Gavin, obviously you see him in London
being down-trodden, and then bumps into his uncle, Sarvadori, played by Richard Wilson, who obviously

(57:30):
we had, well, we didn't have on last episode, but, you know, we covered him on the last episode.
Again, he's only in two scenes, really, but he's brilliant at this, and just dripping, you know,
he delivers a beautiful line, because he's down in London for the ice cream awards. Yeah,
I says, yeah, we never win. The only thing I leave the hotel with is the towels, and...
I don't believe this. Well, what are you doing in London?

(57:53):
Well, I am busy. I hope the big bud just that day was the awards last night.
Usually, I display a naked ambition, right? The academy of ice cream traders awards.
And excuse me, piss on the night in a flashy hotel, everyone bitching about the winners,
then they all grew up and realised that awards mean absolutely nothing.
Even already four times now, you know? Yeah? Never won a waper.

(58:16):
All I ever leave that had to do with his towels. Such a wonderful liar. It's the way Wilson
delivers it. It's like we discussed, we did, too, you've fruity in the last episode, and it's like,
you know, a mistor, you'll be getting your jottups, but he's just the way he delivers the line of
all I leave the hotel with is the towels. I don't know. What's her name? Galenis. Galenis.

(58:38):
It's Galenis. Yeah, he's really good. And do you know what I was thinking to myself watching that?
Have I not seen Richard Wilson and anything new for a long time? And I thought, is it maybe,
is it maybe passed away and it's at an end? No, not me, that is, but he has it. I think he's just,
I don't know if he's just sort of slowed down a wee bit because he's, you know, he's, he's a good age now.

(58:59):
I mean, I was looking him up on IMDB last week and for this as well. And his last entry was last
year, he was on Antony Dick Saturday night, take away his. Yeah, I think he's just slowed down. And I
think obviously it's difficult for him in a way, probably because he had such an iconic role

(59:20):
for so long. Yeah. And I think it's difficult for anyone to see him as anyone apart from Victor
Meldru. He used to nowadays. He used to be in a sitcom that I used to like when I was really young,
they could kid calls only one out of life. James Bolum in it was set when I saw a man's
ward of a hospital and that James Bolum played it. So I'm a lingerer and Richard Wilson played

(59:45):
the doctor or one of the doctors. I used to really like it. I used to really enjoy you only one out of
life. I had a really good, really good theme tune as well. I remember that. I do,
vaguely remember that. And I might, I think I'm going to end up going on watching that because
I love James Bolum. Yeah, I do remember watching that when I was younger. Yeah, I'm definitely

(01:00:05):
going to revisit that. But I think he's not afraid to, you know, set, like me fun of himself. I think
famously the episode of Father Ted that he's in playing himself is fantastic. You know, it's just
set up perfectly when Dougal's like, oh God, he'd love it. God, I bet no one ever says it too.

(01:00:26):
Just because fucking mental at that. Well, he, I bet I think it's like, you know, so when he,
when he did this, he was a couple of years into his time as a victim, Mildred. So, and, you know,
like I should say, he's, you know, he's only, he's only in like two pretty quick scenes. And one of
the scenes we don't even hear him talk, he's just, it's just the music over the top of everyone talking

(01:00:51):
to each other. So I wasn't, I was, I thought myself, I thought, you know, is he done it as a sort of
favor for a party at a capacity, you know, there didn't be no each other and stuff like that. And he said,
yeah, well, come and do a couple of days on your film, you know, probably. I'd imagine so. And he
delivers a wonderful line when they're having the dinner and he's trying to convince him to,

(01:01:12):
to obviously come up for his dad's 60th birthday. When he speaks about selling the family business and
having this inheritance money, and he's like, I'm the oldest now. I'm the Capo. And he's
left Italian mafia reference there. He's like, okay, I guess it never leaves you, although you were
born in Scotland and raised in Scotland, but still has the, I'm the Capo, which I think was great.

(01:01:36):
Yeah. And of course, yeah, I mean, the other main character in the film is a Vaughan played by
Alain Colant who went on to become Capo, his wife. No, they were. And Alain's already says, and he's
wickie, they got married. They were married. Yeah. Yeah. I think they got married in 1991. This can
make 92. Yeah. A couple of stuff I've read is this future wife. So I don't know if maybe they filmed

(01:01:59):
this maybe or he'd maybe written this before. Right. Obviously, we've written this before they got
married, but yeah, his wife and she's great. I mean, she hasn't got a huge amount of acting credits, but
she is great as a Vaughan and a wonderful, not foil, but I love interest for Gavin and kind of
puts him right. And her acting can maybe be a little bit wooden at times, I would say, but she's

(01:02:25):
an intriguing character. And after about 20 minutes of meeting her, you find out she's got this envelope
full of money. So you're instantly intrigued thinking, what's her story? Yeah. There has to be a
backstory of her. We know Gavin's backstory, but we know all about Gavin, but we don't know anything
about a phone. And I think they do that really well in terms of you want to know what's going on with

(01:02:46):
her and what her story is because she keeps mentioning this guy Archie and like, who's he? But I thought
they did that pretty well. Or something really familiar about her as a Vaughan. You know what I mean,
I think again, I think, you know, I don't know. She has a wee bit. She has a wee bit wooden, I suppose,
hidden there, but it's a pretty, it feels quite honest, you know. I wonder if there's a lot of

(01:03:10):
acts in required really if that's just a sort of person she is, you know, perhaps that, you know,
because she sort of sort of starts off like she doesn't, like, almost like she's quite naive and,
you know, she believes because Gavin does, she's, she affects his scab in Scar. And he,

(01:03:30):
originally, is just going to leave her on the road, but then decides to take her along, you know. And
but she seems to be just completely biased stories about how he's just spoken to his mother and
he needs to know all this kind of thing. But then later on, she sort of calls him out and she sort of,
you can kind of get the feeling that, well, maybe she's, maybe she wasn't that naive in the beginning,

(01:03:51):
you know what? Maybe she could see exactly what it was like, but then, you know, she starts to get
about annoyed with them later on and sort of calls him out for his behavior. Do you know who I would,
you know, who I was, I made a note here, who I would love to have seen in the role of a von Grogan?
Who's that? Grogan. Grogan, yeah. Yeah. Nighty too. She would have been, well, what? Yeah, she'd

(01:04:13):
have been in her early thirties. Yeah, I think so. She'd be old enough to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
She would have been fantastic, actually. You're right. Not taking anything away from
the Netherlands of course, but yeah, you're right. Grogan would have been fantastic in that role.
That would have made a lot of sense. Yeah. Wow. And then that would have given another
bill for a cycling. So yeah, one of the, one of the try to get Grogan, well, no,

(01:04:34):
Capaldi obviously, he wrote it. So he would have been like adamant, like, no, my wife,
yeah, yeah. He would have had to star in this. So, but you're right, Grogan would have been fantastic.
You're just saying that because you listened to Grogan. Yeah, that's true.
Phil and Mum for their all over it. Yeah, that was on the, um, the Rock and Tourist broadcast. Yeah,
exactly. I mean, I, I mean, I, I don't, I've enjoyed the Rock and Tourist podcast a lot more

(01:04:54):
if that fucking guide Pratt wasn't on it. Got it. Honestly, just, I mean, just, just,
she used to be funny and all that and it's just not funny. What was Grogan doing then in '92?
Was she doing Red War for '92? Or was that before? She was Kawalski, Red War, wasn't she,
for a while? Yeah, would have been about that time, I think. Yeah. Chanski, yeah. Chanski, yeah.
Chanski, yeah. Chanski, not Kawalski. Yeah. Yeah. Um, would have been about that time, I think. Yeah.

(01:05:16):
I was listening to some older images this week after listening to the podcast. I wanted to
go to bandalwood images, you know, the way it wasn't just, yeah, it wasn't just, a happy birthday,
and I could be happy. Happy birthday. Yeah, they did some good stuff on their album, so they did.
Um, but yeah, I think, like, like, Eileen Collins does bring a lot to the role, like, there are
like, sweet moments in the car. The, the travel sweets versus normal sweets discussion is brilliant.

(01:05:41):
I don't know why they call these travel sweets, but identical to ordinary sweets.
And this was anybody who buys sweets called ordinary sweets.
Or these sweets are more reliable, don't you think? Travel sweets, like, you can open the 10-1 day
if they don't, you don't move, don't. And it's true, like, you still get travel sweets. Yeah?

(01:06:07):
Like, I think you do. It tells you, yeah, it's good to, like, a petrol station. You'll find travel
sweets, but yeah, what is the difference? But then you don't call them normal sweets, but that's
the kind of ridiculous conversation you would have in a car and awkward kind of conversations.
And it just works and makes sense. And my, um, is all fine. My late grandfather always,

(01:06:30):
always had a 10-1 travel sweets in the glove box of his, uh, Vada Riva always. And they were always,
like, the hard boiled ones that had sort of icing sugar, well, probably wouldn't have been
icing sugar, but the same sort of text was icing sugar, so your fingers were to tips a bit of
all the way and stuff. But the, the, the, the, the, the, I know what you mean, the, always,
always being there. Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker before? No, never. I would never

(01:06:51):
do that. No, not chance. What about you? Uh, and remember when I lived in Borrow and Furnace, my dad
just, uh, come down and pick me up and we'd drive back up to Glasgow at the M6 and M74. We'd
often see people hitchhiking. And although the only one I ever remember when I'd pick up was
Zennief, it was a, it was a sailor, I guess. He was in his uniform and my dad said, "Oh, we'll,

(01:07:13):
we'll pick him up," because he's in his uniform and blah, blah, blah. And he, without taking
him very far, I think he just wanted to go to the next junction or something, but he gave me, um,
he gave me a button, uh, the sailor guy that, I think I still got somewhere to sort of say thanks
for picking him up. So he's sort of young guy, do you know what I mean? But, really smart. Um, but,
yeah, he's the only, that's the only time I ever remember, um, that's picking up a hitchhiker,

(01:07:35):
but my, my dad was always, you know, if that's too a use in the car, never pick up a hitchhiker,
because we've got to sit in the back and you don't know what they could be doing behind you, but,
you know, but, uh, you know, if, if you, if you, if you're, if you're by yourself, just make sure
they sit in the passenger seat. So, okay, that, yeah, I think, Rooker Howard probably put me off
ever picking up a hitchhiker. It's such, for life. It's fun. It's such a good film that,

(01:07:57):
it's such a, yeah, it does. I'm like, what's that tonight? Actually, it's such a good film. Um, yeah,
and then, uh, service stations, it's a wonderful scene where Gavin is horrified that he's paid
£7.20 for sausage and chips. And of course, it's back in 1992. That's extortion. It is for
sausage and chips, but then service stations always charge ridiculous prices. You know, you know,

(01:08:20):
captive audience, isn't it? I mean, you used to drive a fair bit, didn't you? Yeah.
Like up and down the motorway. So, if you've got any service station memories, well, the thing
that, the one thing that I always made sure of was that I would never have to stop it
a motorway service system to put petrol in my car. But, um, like, I became pretty familiar with
almost every service station between Glasgow and Birmingham at one point, um, when I was driving

(01:08:45):
around a lot. But what I would tend to do is I knew that, uh, southway services, which is not too far
from the Scottish border, uh, always had on the English side of the Scottish border, uh, they had
a Greg's. So, I would, I would stop and, I would, because I was always, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd
go hang around, you know what I mean? So, I'd stop and go for a quick piss and then I would,
um, I would buy like a, a sandwich from Greg's that I could just eat as I was driving. You know,

(01:09:10):
I mean, so I'd always, I'd get home and my lap will be fucking covered in crumbs and everything,
but, um, but yeah, they are. I mean, they're mercenary bastards. I remember being in one,
and, uh, somebody had put, I mean, I guess the company had put a poster up saying, um, if you
find anything, or if you find this, these services, Leslan, Hygienic or Spotless or whatever,
please call it Arian manager, and then they had the Arian manager's mobile number,

(01:09:33):
poster, and I thought, fuck that. You know, because people phone in you all the time.
That's a phone you're never going to answer is to leave that on the side. You're never answering that
phone, fucking hell. So obviously we have Wilson Collins, Capaldi, but then there's so many amazing

(01:09:54):
actors in small parts in the film, and just like, it's not a cameo, they do have lines, it's
small parts, like Simon Calleau, Phyllis Logan, Francis Barber, and Scott Jones and Clive Russell,
like amongst many others, and all just brilliant little comedic parts, I mean, especially Phyllis

(01:10:15):
Logan and Scott Jones, they both were just, and Clive Russell, if that, they were all broke,
Simon Calleau is fantastic as Ed Jekowski. This guy who's credit card they find, and just,
the reveal he was like married to this, or partner, because I guess he wouldn't have been married,
because gay marriage wasn't allowed back then, but, you know, his partner was this guy that did balloon

(01:10:37):
animals, called Mr Pickles, and like, it just again, very bow for a cytheisc, these little random
just characters that just have like a two minute scene, but are almost unforgettable. Like Phyllis
Logan delivers one of the best lines of the film when she's talking about, and a serious subject,
she's talking about how she suffers from depression, and when she says, yeah, I used to work in a

(01:11:00):
baby shop sometimes, I wanted to punch the wee bastards. Well, you know what, the things
would really get me down. I used to work in this babyware shop, sometimes I'd really want to punch
the wee bastards right in the face. So, obviously I had to sort that one out. Excuse me,
would you deliver the card? Of course, there's a privilege of our characters,

(01:11:22):
all part of the service here, I have a little shit, no, no, no, don't think that,
would you deliver it? Not me, personally, but I'll make sure it's done. I'm hardly likely to
forget you now, I'm a goddess. Yeah, she's really good. I've got a bit of a problem with Simon

(01:11:44):
Callell, okay. So, I know boss of mine used to work in a hotel, like quite an ice hotel years ago,
and apparently he was a guest there once, and he was, according to her, he was an absolute
cont to all the staff. Oh, really? And apparently he left his room in a right mess, like, sort of like,
yeah, I won't go into the detail in case he listens to me, but he takes out liable case out against

(01:12:08):
this case, it's not true, but yeah, she said he was, did you shit in the bath? Not the bath.
Oh fuck, fuck, see, what was that? But I'm presuming not the toilet either, no.
Well, maybe not, maybe, maybe I may not be him, maybe in his companion, perhaps, I don't know, but,

(01:12:28):
but yeah, I don't, but then this is like, sick. I just got to say that I don't know if that's true,
I could not, I might not be sure, but she told us about it one night, we're having a glass of wine
after work. But for Simon Callell, this was like a year before, a year before, four
weddings in the funeral, which arguably, they give a lot of those actors like John Hannah,

(01:12:51):
even Hugh Grant, you know, like all those actors all sort of launched fairly successful
to varying degrees, careers off the back of it. And like, when I saw Simon Callell's name in the
credits, I thought it would be in it a lot more. Well, when I saw Richard Roses name in the credits,
I thought he'd be in it a lot more as well. I don't realise that it would just be a fairly quick scene.

(01:13:13):
He's on the cover of the DVD. Like, it's, you know, it's quite a, I think he's the third credit.
Cast member of Richard Wilson, so you think, okay, but I guess it's probably because one
foot in the grave was on at the time and he was a draw, a big, yeah, I can only imagine that.
But you're right, Simon Callell, yeah, four weddings did really make a lot. John Hannah,

(01:13:33):
when he's doing more with John Hannah on the swallow, because he's great. Yeah, he's great.
Like John Hannah. I always remember, how do you feel about it? I mean, it's not Scottish,
but how do you feel about four weddings in a funeral? I like it. I remember, I saw it because
when I was at school in Aberdeenshire, they used to do just before this on a holiday,

(01:13:54):
they did these activities days and it was some things were like hanging about at school,
just doing bits and bobs or depending on what you could go, there was a couple of like overnight
trips and I managed to persuade my mum to let me go in the Glasgow trip, which was mental,
because I was going to Glasgow like the four-throwing week. But it was me, my friend Barry Willocks,

(01:14:14):
my friend James and James White and my friend David Henderson and the rest of the people in
the triple girls, so it's just as four boys and all these girls. I mean, I would love to tell you,
it was like the carry on school trips. It wasn't, like nobody got a sniff, but no smelly thing,
girls. But it was good fun. But they took us to see four weddings in a funeral the second night.

(01:14:37):
And then because we would have been about, maybe 17, 16, 17. And obviously the first word in
four wrens in a funeral is fuck. And then there's like a sex scene when you're grants hiding
under the bed and the guy off the thing blue line is, they're shagging. But yeah, I like it.

(01:15:00):
It's sort of like this in a way, I know that it was a bit of a phenomenon at the time with the
wet, wet song and everything else. But it's about this film and it sort of works out well,
there's some funny moments. The characters are all likeable, you know, even the ones that you're not
really supposed to like are likeable, you know. And you sort of want everything to work out for them.

(01:15:23):
So yeah, well, do you feel a bit for a wrens in a funeral? I will never forget that film as long as I live
for the pure reason that it came out. It was the summer of '94. And the reason I remember this is
very specific because I would have only been 13. And my mum, my sister and I, and my sister is like
13 years old, she would have been like 26. It was a Saturday night and we went to the Odian.

(01:15:49):
We're in Melbourne, yeah. Yeah, just a small bit of lane, I think.
To watch four weddings, got our tickets and then we were walking in and the female usher who
was like in her 40s stopped us and we're holding the boy and my mum went nearly 15.

(01:16:11):
Why? Why? Would you see that? So we didn't get in. We had to go and because I, well,
obviously she told her nearly 15. So I wasn't 15. So it didn't get in to see it. So we ended up like
going home. But then I always remember that night because I went home and it was world cup.

(01:16:31):
That's why I remember it was the summer because it was USA '94. Yeah, right. I came home upset that
I didn't get to go and see the film. I feel bad. Like, you fuck it, I'm only 13. And it was Argentina
against Nigeria and that was the game that Maradona scored those goals and then ran up to the camera
with fucking Coke bogees and his nostrils screaming at the camera. I remember myself,

(01:16:54):
always remember that day as long as I live. So yeah, I didn't get to see it until later on and yeah,
like I'm not a fan of kind of romantic comedies. No, we're speaking about one technically,
but yeah, I don't mind for a while, and a few, actually, it's quite a good film. It's funny,
it's clever, it has its moments, but yeah, I don't know. It's better than Notting Hill or Love Actually

(01:17:18):
or any of that shit, but yeah, I don't mind for a minute. My bad, you know, there's exactly the same thing
when him and I went to see Lucas talking because Lucas talking was at 12. And okay,
when we were buying the tickets, the guy selling the tickets said, how old is he? And my dad said,
"Oh, he's nearly 12" and the guy said, "But he's got to be 12" because that's 12,

(01:17:42):
someone's got to have to see it, but dad said, "Well, he's 12, then." The guy just sold us the tickets,
and we went and watched it.
The boy who spoke about fucking Jedi powers, you've had a, like a, oh, fucking, I can imagine that.
I'll just never forget my mum nearly 15. Well, he's not 15. Fuck off.

(01:18:05):
I was trying to sort of work out the geography on the journey because they stop at the seaside. They
wait where they meet Simon Cowell's character is the seaside, but if they're driving from London to
Glasgow, you're going to go probably M1A1, Scotch Corner, M74, or unless you go up the M, about

(01:18:30):
the services that he stops at where he gets, he gets fucking ripped off for the sausage and chips.
It's obviously Birmingham because they're all talking about, with sort of brummy accents,
which would suggest that he's, would suggest that he's gone up the M6. So if he's gone up the M6,
you know, you would go through the lake district, but you don't go by the sea. You're sort of

(01:18:50):
writing them in all the country. I don't think, yeah, I don't think much of the geography makes sense
in this film, to be honest. There are quite a few points where you're kind of like, where do they
meant to be? Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but don't think too much of it, mate. Just enjoy.
It's fine. It's lovely scenery. I have to say, very nice. I mean, it's beautiful. It's absolutely

(01:19:12):
beautiful. Like, there's genuinely, to give away, like, when we're recording this, last night I watched,
it was a season finale of the Traitors, which is a BBC show and it's set in Scotland. It's in the
Scottish Highland. I came home after by day and watched the finale because it was a fine lepis,

(01:19:33):
so I had to watch it because I knew, I wanted to check in newspapers this morning to see if there
was any new news stories. I'm going to find out he's won it if I don't. So I fucking stayed up until
fucking half two this morning, reaching the Traitors. Fucking sh*t. And there was a scene where like,
and they make it look so beautiful and because it's set in this big Scottish castle and Claudia

(01:19:56):
Winkham and comes in this helicopter and she's like, I just want to, it's the finale, so you're
going to go in style and you're going to go in this helicopter and just take a swoop around,
probably the most beautiful place on earth, the Scottish Highlands. And they swoop round and,
like, they, you know, there was so much like stags and highland cows and owls and stuff and you're like

(01:20:19):
fucking hell, it really is probably one of the most beautiful places on earth. Oh, it's just incredible.
Undoubtedly. You know that Alan Cumming is hosting the American version of the Traitors.
I do know that, yes, yes. I haven't washed it because I'm kind of a bit, I don't know.
That's true. I've heard it's quite good though, but yeah, I mean, a lot. They get too emotional.
The Americans are these things, don't that's the problem? Yeah, that sort puts me off.

(01:20:41):
Plus, I think the American version that has like some, it's a mix of like normal people and some like
reality show people and I know I don't want that. I just want to watch normal people
fuck it up and abuse. And honestly, the finale of the Traitors, if you watch the Traitors.
No, but I've, and the reason I'm not watch that is because I think it's something that we might

(01:21:03):
enjoy as a family. And now that my daughters are teenagers, so depending everybody down at the same
place, that is getting harder and harder, you know, it's genuinely, it is incredible television.
Like, it is incredible. Like, I know what like reality shows, and I don't,
I don't, every reality shows, you know, I watch like Big Brother and stuff.
Yeah, the Traitors is phenomenal because it's so fucking, you're shouting at the screen

(01:21:27):
because people have just been so fucking devious and lying to people's faces and,
ah, I won't spoil the ending of season two, but it was fucking hell. It was, oh my god,
it was amazing. Kevin in the back of the truck, who is transcendental, and I'm going to liberate
your waistcoat. What was going on with Kevin there, do you think? And what was going on with that
whole scene with the truck? That was, that was kind of weird, that's Billy McCall, who we've had

(01:21:51):
on the pod before, famously film a can in slab boys. Yes. Yeah, I'm not sure what, I'll be obviously
there, sort of two guys that are on a bit of an adventure, you know, so it's involving
hundreds of booze and drugs and stealing cars and all sorts of things. It was nice to see him,

(01:22:13):
though, because he hasn't done a huge amount, so it was nice to see him back again, so soon on the
podcast, but yeah, what a mental scene, but also didn't take me out of my, that would never happen.
Like, I totally invested in. Yeah, yeah, that is pretty much the kind of thing that I could see
happening. Yeah, it's fine. That's what I love about this film. Like, it is, it's completely just

(01:22:37):
realistic and there's not a single thing that happens in this film, apart from maybe the credit card
and the phone box with a chewing gum, you know, being such a shoe, but other than that,
there's nothing else that I'm like, that would never happen. Like, it just all made sense, you know.
Well, the thing is, you know, the, is, Capali has created a bit of a world, in the same way that

(01:22:59):
Bill Forsyth sort of creates this kind of world, and it's it's kind of the world that we recognise,
but they're with, but with a real surreal sort of edge, kind of running through it, and you kind
of just accept it after a while. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, a Gregory's girl with a,
with a wee penguin, kind of just wandering around the school and the background, having known again,

(01:23:24):
or, you know, are the Mermaids and vocal hero, you know what I mean? You sort of, you sort of accept it
because, you know, you're invested, and I think that's the case here. Like, by the time we meet,
we meet, what are names Kevin, the Guru and Stevie, you know, sort of like, yeah, I'm like,
because we've already met the, the weird B and B guy, you know what I mean?

(01:23:51):
Who's not interested in so they, they, they, they tell them that they've got money and the sort of dark,
he sort of takes them in the dark up to the rooms with like a little vamp and stuff like that,
instead of putting a light sort of, like kind of thing, and he's just sort of like, yeah, I'm,
I'm here for it, you know? So is there a, what's the sweet you see in the film? Is it the slosh at

(01:24:12):
breakfast, which is a beautiful, yeah, and is up there with more coming wise, seeing the breakfast
dance from me? Yeah, yeah, just the, it's so beautiful in terms of just a lovely scene.
Well, it's great, because it's the first, it's the first time that Gavin really sort of let's
some say, I've got a little bit, you know what I mean? Like, he's, he's incredibly uptight,

(01:24:34):
for most of the movie, it's particularly when he's with a Vaughan, and then, you know, if he finds a
song in the video that he likes and just sort of completely gives into it, you know? I think it's
because the evening before, obviously, they're, they're in bed, and he's tired and he just wants to go
to sleep, and if, if on's, you know, she says she's a bit nervous, and she's talking about how life is
like a bowling alley. Yeah, sometimes you're the ball, sometimes you're the skittle, and I think he's

(01:24:59):
just so tired and exasperated, and I think he wakes up in the morning and maybe thinks about what he's
done, yeah, and feels guilty, and yeah, goes down and just has, has fun. For the first time that we've
seen him have fun. Yeah. And yeah, it's such a beautiful scene, just doing the slosh around the
black fist table. It's, it's beautiful. Well, he also thinks that, he also thinks that they're sort of

(01:25:21):
sorted, because his respect in the car, it'll be dropped off, and all that, and you know, everything's,
you know, they get the cars getting fixed, there's uncles sort of an out, it's going to get dropped off,
everything's fine, he's got song in the video that he likes. Um, yeah. So it gets a great scene. And,
yeah, and obviously the car ends up going to uncle Salvatore back in Glasgow, but they manage to get

(01:25:42):
to the bus station, they get to get, well, they don't get to get to get to the bus, but they, they
get run on the bus. And then the reveal that the bus is going to London is hilarious, because
it's such a lovely scene that they get on the bus, they think everything's sorted, Gavin's sort of
lax, he's making faces, he's a kid, and he's smiling at everyone, and he's like, I'm going to make it,

(01:26:02):
I'm going to make it. And then when the realization comes over his face, and he runs up, that is
absolutely fantastic comic timing of the audience don't know, he like puts what's going on,
and then you just see the front of the bus that says London, and it's so beautiful in terms of
comedic timing that I was just in stitches when I realized, but also feeling like, oh, fuck,

(01:26:28):
how are they going to get back? No, but, and that's, that's a wonderful part, I think of this film,
and the way it's been directed, and the way it's been written, that you're laughing, but you're also,
in kind of feeling sorry for the characters, and not in peril, but you know what I mean,
kind of feeling like, oh shit, how are they going to get out of this? Yeah, it's, yeah, I mean,
like a road movie done well, like this one is a joy, you know what I mean, they, obviously there's

(01:26:53):
some really famous ones, like filming the, filming the wheeze, probably the big, the most famous
road movie, but you know, when they're done well, easy right there? Easy right there as well,
yeah, for, um, but, uh, vanishing point, you know, um, the road, the roads, yeah, but, yeah, but
when I done well, the fucking road to partition, road trip, roadhouse, that's not a road movie.

(01:27:17):
Okay, it should be, yeah, you're right, it does, and I think that is what, the interview I watched
at Capalvie, um, he did say he kind of wanted to make the great American road movie, but in set in the
UK, yeah, and it's difficult because the UK is just small, I mean, it tries to you've done to,

(01:27:39):
Norwich, like it takes like eight, nine hours, well, it takes a lot longer, yeah, because we,
we're a mutual friend driving, we're fired on Red Bull, because we fucked it up, but it takes probably,
like, if you go from one end to the other, it probably takes you what, 12, 13 hours drive from,
like, end to end, the UK is what, we're, it's only like 500 and something, miles, something like that,
from the, from, I would, what, 500 more, uh, what's US, you know, it takes like two weeks to, to cross

(01:28:05):
that, so, but he wanted to make like a, you know, a great British road movie, and I think he,
it does, kind of succeeded, like it does, it, it works, like it is good, like I really enjoyed it.
Um, and I mean, the ending, obviously he turns up at the Brusty Party, 730 on the dot,
and then he's gone, because he's gone back to find a Vaughan, because obviously they've had a falling

(01:28:28):
out. Yeah, that end speech that he delivers on the bridge is so beautiful. Yeah, when he's,
you know, you make me feel mental, yeah, and then you make me feel everything. That's, you know, I'm,
before he's three next months, I'm getting old, I'm getting fucking soppy in my old days, that had me
in bits, so you make me feel everything, like, wow. He looks same, very sorry. Oh, stop doing this.

(01:28:52):
Doing what? Finding me up. I'm not. Yeah, you always get me into a state. I'm doing it. You do. You make me feel guilty.
You make me feel bad, and, and, and, and happy, and, and exasperated, and, and, and, and think, yeah, I don't know
about how I'm with myself anymore. You make me feel mental. I'm not making you feel anything.

(01:29:13):
You make me feel everything.
I feel a bit like that. Do you feel like that? I don't know. Yeah, it's great. And again, it's, I don't know
like, with, I don't, I've never really understood why I'm really understood by Capaldi isn't up there

(01:29:37):
in terms of profile and filmography and everything as I do in McGregor or a James McAvoy. You know what,
I mean, maybe just, maybe he just came along at this sort of wrong time because, you know,
British film when he was a young actor was, you know, it was a bit, there was sort of charred,
it's a fire in local hero and, you know, in terms of like international successful films,

(01:30:00):
or something, like a great deal. And then, you know, obviously Danny Boyle has launched
you in McGregor's career with Shabblegrave and TrainSpot and then James McAvoy. I don't know. He
seems to be like, he seems to go from being like the co-lead on shameless to like an international film star.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. He was in Early Doors first, I suppose. That is one of the best sitcoms of all.

(01:30:23):
Yeah, Early Doors. But yeah, then he went shameless and then yeah, he left to, yeah, exactly just
said, basically becoming international films. What, one minute is in shameless and next minute is in
that wanted with fucking Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. But I think it's about timing though.
Like if you look at, you know, what we've covered, I mean, let's put this podcast about it. And

(01:30:47):
if you think about the stuff we've covered, we did have like a kind of decent filmography,
probably due to bill for size in terms of things like comfort and joy, local hero. But Scott
cinema, I mean, look at this is in 1992, like it wasn't a, it wasn't a big film. No, I think it made
quite, it made quite a million pounds. That was his box office. Yeah. And that was, it was on you

(01:31:08):
with East and the UK. I mean, British cinema was pretty much dead until four wetten, four wetten
and a funeral, which was 94. And then Scottish cinema didn't really explode, it exploded with
train spying. But I think that let's be honest, the fucking rock-up the R's was shallow graves. Yeah,
for sure, that really started things. And since then, Scottish cinema has thrived. And but I think if

(01:31:30):
you, if you look at the stuff we've covered, it, there was quite a follow period in that time. And
I think Capaldi probably suffered from that in terms of right actor, wrong time. Okay, let's face it,
he's, he was never going to be a human regular or James McAvoy. They are two of very handsome men.
Capaldi, as much as I love him, he's not the handsomeest of class, but he has this just amazing

(01:31:51):
rugged look and, you know, weather being, and he's very handsome in this film. But he's never going
to get those parts. You're never going to, but, okay, I do believe him in this film that he wins the
lady, but you know what I mean? I'm never going to believe him in a kind of, you know, nice,
romantic kind of character guy. But he is, he found his niche, you know, in terms of just a

(01:32:13):
servant kind of wit and just, he's got it, I think he's amazing character and, and I'd rather have him as
Malcolm Tucker and Doctor Who and as Doctor Pete in field of blood, yeah, than have him being
some mega movie star. And I, I reckon he's pretty fucking happy. Yeah, I, what you start? I mean,

(01:32:34):
if you look at it, I'm looking at his IMDB now, you know, so his first credo is something called
Living Apart Together. His second, his second credo is Local Hero. Do you know what I mean? And then
there's stuff like he's, he's, he's in an episode of Minder. He plays George Harrison in a film called
John and Yoko, I love story. He's in the, the, the white worm, which is a fucking mental, mental Ken

(01:32:58):
Russell film. He's in Ravsey Nesba, he's in, uh, Drama Rama, Ruth Rendo, Poaro, then this film,
he's in the comic strip, Prem Suspect 3, where he plays a transvestite. And, but he's in all sorts,
like the Mr Bean, that is Psychos that we'll have to do at some point, I think, Psychos. So I think
it's a Scottish production, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we'll have to do that. Uh, yeah, it's

(01:33:22):
set like a psychiatric ward of a classical hospital, you know, that, so he's, he's sort of, he's sort of,
um, built this career, just sort of hustling and, in a, chipping away. And then to your point,
it gets, uh, the thick of it, and suddenly, everybody knows who, everybody knows who, um, Peter
Capaldi is. And they, and they, I think we were talking about our favourite, um, Malcolm Tucker moments.

(01:33:46):
I think my favourite, and I can't remember the episode, but there's been some drama that he has
managed to resolve, and he's, he's walking out of the office and he says, right, I'm away home,
is it? He says, right, I'm away home to wipe my, to wipe my ass with pictures and Nick Robinson.
I'm getting good, getting loads, he turns and says, I'm getting good at giving them a quiff.
Oh, fantastic. Oh, wow. But yeah, but it's, it's really been, uh, since Malcolm Tucker that suddenly,

(01:34:28):
these Hollywood films, you know, he was in that, uh, World War Z, the Brad Pitt zombie one Paddington,
um, he was in the suicide squad, which was a great film as the, as the thinker, you know, it's,
it's amazing that just one role can just change your career. Yeah. And for it to be, uh, a role,
which was on like a, a small BBC show, you know, the thick of it, as much like the office, like,

(01:34:52):
I think it was the way it was filmed, and I don't think people expected it to take off as much as it did.
Yeah. And it did. And I don't think even probably Capal of the Expendement, Malcolm Tucker,
to come off the ways he is. And I think Malcolm Tucker now is a word that people would use in terms of
even speaking about like a spin doctor, something like, uh, he's done a Malcolm Tucker on him.

(01:35:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, you know, Malcolm Tucker has entered the lexicon of kind of words and should be
in the dictionary, maybe, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Malcolm, Malcolm Tucker will be forever Capal of
the bodies legacy. Even I would say more than Doctor Who. Oh, yeah. For sure. And I mean, you,
you, you, you, you could argue if not for, you know, Malcolm Tucker, you make not a God doctor,

(01:35:34):
who, you know what I mean? Yeah. Probably not. Yeah. Yeah. You know, uh, and, and I remember when,
the, the, when they, when they did the, the, the reveal, like, as we ball, yeah, Sunday afternoon,
that a book or an introduced the next doctor, and when I saw it was him, I was like, yes,
because I had a, I knew Christopher Eccleston, because I knew him from shallow grave and our friends

(01:35:55):
in the North and other things. Um, I didn't know David Tennant really, hadn't really, well, I had,
there was nothing that I'd seen him in that where he stuck in my mind. So I know I day who he was,
no idea who Matt Smith was at all. And actually quite like Matt Smith is, he's, he's, he's,
great. He's quite a good doctor. And he's, I like it. I like him as an actor. He's a good actor,
Matt Smith. Um, but, um, but yeah, they put it was Capal of the, I remember just going, yes.

(01:36:19):
You know what I mean? Because all the last like two doctors had been these sort of young,
these, these sort of young guys. And here's Capal of the, a middle-aged man, which pretty much
all the doctors before Peter Davidson were like middle-aged, middle-aged sort of eccentric sort of
guys. And, um, it really felt like a sort of return to that kind of thing. Um, and it, and it was, and

(01:36:41):
the, and one of the best things about if you were to go and watch um, Capal of these run as doctor,
who is, you get to see a lot of Jenna Coleman? Maybe not the bits that you want to see over, but you get to
see, but she, she, she, she sees companion. Right. I'm definitely going to go back and revisit
Capal of the, as doctor who then. That's, um, yeah, big fan. Yeah. Okay. Anything else on

(01:37:08):
soft top, hard shoulder? Only one thing, right in my notes. I've written the word queerhawk,
right? And then, and then, okay. Obviously, sorry for laughing at that. Obviously because somebody
has said that in the film, and I can't remember who said it, but I remember thinking, I've really
heard that word for fucking ages, queerhawk. Yeah, I do, I, I can't remember, but I do remember it

(01:37:30):
being mentioned in the film, and I, I can't remember. Bye. Um, the other thing to get, so off, to get
as I get the trouble is, do you love that every company or slogan that you see has "we care"
after it, which is very much a kind of reminds me of like a, or well, in kind of 1984,
um, like almost homage, but, um, I like that that literally every company just has "we care"

(01:37:57):
as they're slogan. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So is it time to put, uh, soft top, hard shoulder through
the Swally Awards? Let's do it, Greg. What have we got first? Because I actually, there's quite a few
awards that we don't, I, I don't really have anything for it. Yeah, which was short queue because, yeah.
I'm only you find something, I know you're right, but, uh, yeah, there's a couple that we can't,
it's probably not anything, but the first one then is the Bobby the Barman award for the best pub.

(01:38:22):
So there's not really, the only place I could find that's like a pub is where he runs into
his uncle Salvatore. Yeah. Well, that's a, a coffee shop, but, but, but, it says booze. Yeah, but,
I, I think they go, it's a different location. I think they, they run into each other in the coffee shop
and then they go to an Italian restaurant. Oh, the, the, the, all right. I thought they have booze.

(01:38:45):
Okay. I don't think it's the same place, um, because it looks like a different kind of saying, but,
yeah, that was what I had or service stations, but you can't really get booze. I'm sure you can
from the garage. You can, no, you, but you couldn't lay in something, probably not them. Yeah.
But yeah, that's all I want to say because there's no actual pubs. No. Um, the next award then is one

(01:39:07):
that, I think it's a few candidates for the James Cosmo award for being in everything Scottish.
What did you go for for this? I went for Clive Russell. Okay. How about yourself? I had a, uh,
a double edge bet I went with Anne Scott Jones or Phyllis Logan. Okay. But Clive Russell was also on

(01:39:27):
my list as well. It was between the three. So I think we could pick maybe Phyllis Logan is maybe done
a little bit more English stuff. Yeah. So Anne Scott Jones though has been in the hell of a lot,
but Clive Russell as well. Yeah. And I always, I, you know, I, I, I, I could Clive Russell and mixed up,
but I'd instantly I was like, I'd see him call. Okay. And then I'm like, no, it's Clive Russell. Yeah.
I don't know why it was two mixed up. They look so similar. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, Clive Russell's good

(01:39:52):
checked, but yeah, Anne Scott Jones would probably be my first check for that. Okay. Um, next then.
So I think this is the first one that we can't really do. And that's the Jake McQuilland award,
the T-Zoot award because nobody gets the teap taking out. There's nothing. I mean, I kind of put
the red beetle driving them off the road, if that makes sense. Like having kind of gets is come up

(01:40:16):
in because he's trying to race, but it's not really a T-Zoot. And there's, there's no violence. Like
the only other thing is when he's chasing Evon and trips it over and then a wedded dress bills out.
But I did not. There's no violence. So yeah, I don't think there's a T-Z in this. No, I don't think
there is. Um, in the next one, I don't think there is either the, uh, you McGregor award for

(01:40:36):
gratuitous nudity. No, no, no, do you see? So no. Um, next one, I think we can give away at the
beginning. Um, but the Francis Bag be a ward for gratuitous swearing. I had, I'm telling the
animal race charity collect at fuck off after he's been rejected by the publishing company. It's just
so unexpected and it's just the best use of swearing. It's so, I laughed so much just and it's the,

(01:41:03):
only the way Kapal being delivered a fuck off. As we know so well with Tucker, but it's just animal
rides and I write fuck off. Yeah. It's just, it's beautifully done and is absolutely the best use of
swearing and there's not a lot of swearing in there. There's a couple of bastards and stuff, but that is
without a doubt the winner. It's, especially when he seems quite pragmatic about the rejection. He's

(01:41:29):
sort of well, you know, thanks very much, blah, blah, blah. But then you realize that he's actually
incandescent. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Yeah. Of course. Um, okay, next one then is archetypal Scottish
woman. So where does you go for here? So I originally put the slosh, but then I thought you made it

(01:41:50):
gone for the slosh. It's Scottish, but originated in Wigget. So is it really Scottish? No. So I went with
the absolutely sheer joy both of them have crossing the border when they're crossing across the border.
It's a, it's a, the welcome Scotland sign. That is every time I would do that, it would, I'd reach

(01:42:10):
a cheer like I'm back home and that is, yeah, but that's like archetypal Scottish. Yeah. I need to
exactly the same. Okay. And then the final award then is the Conor the award who won the film for you.
Richard Wilson from New York, it's Capaldi obviously. Of course, it's Capaldi's Capaldi's film. He's
written it, he's starring in it and he's great in it. And yeah, it's Capaldi's film. So Capaldi

(01:42:35):
has to win. Absolutely. I think it's as well. A couple years later, he won the best short film Oscar
for his wonderful life with Franz Kafka. I guess it's just, I guess it just sort of demonstrates
the fickle world of film, because you're the shim that you get an Oscar for the best short film that

(01:42:59):
you, there's a feature film in your new future, you know, but you know, and that was also a recommendation
from Strong Henry here, I guess it's a Peer Capaldi, I guess it is. Maybe we'll do that some point later.
I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure what we could do and I were on a short film that maybe we could.
We'll give that back. I think we could, I think we could pretty much end top nonsense for a while.

(01:43:23):
I think we could fill the time. Okay, well maybe save it for during the summer when
Cosmo's at the heroes. Okay, so that was my choice of this week Greg, Soft Top Hard
Shoulder. What are you picking next time on the Swally? So I've gone for a horror film. It was, you know,
the next for our next film starring, I would love to say for end of the podcast Florence Pew,

(01:43:48):
but she's got fucking no idea who we are. Ben Lloyd. I wish she did. Ben Lloyd Hughes,
Celia Emory in the legend that is James Cosmo. Oh, 2018's Netflix movie My Levelant.
Okay, never seen it, never seen it. It rings a bell, but I've never seen it. So yeah, I've never seen

(01:44:11):
it either. It's directed by Ice Landic director Olaf DeFluer Johansen. So yeah, I think forward
to Link Forza Washington, it sounds rather good, so Netflix, so it should be an easy one to find
for us and it's got Cosmo and Emory in it to have her favourite Scottish actors. Oh, wonderful. I

(01:44:33):
will look forward to watching that then. I was going to say I watched that tonight, but I'd,
oh fuck, I want to watch that. But then glad he is, and you got to watch only when he laughs as well.
I'm going to have a busy couple of days. Okay, I'm going to edit this part as well. Fuck, okay,
right. I better go. Okay, right. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. I hope you enjoy this show.

(01:44:55):
If you want to get in touch with us, you can email us on culturesmalley@gmail.com and send us any
new stories from Scotland. You think we would like and you'd like us to read out in the show or
send us any requests or recommendations and we will cover them on the podcast. You can follow us
on the socials we're on, Instagram @CultureSwallyPod. I think we're on threads at culturesmalleyPod as

(01:45:15):
well and we are also on X, formerly known as Twitter @SwallyPod and Greg, we have a wonderful website
as well, don't we? We do. You can find us at cultureswally.com where there is new content.
Yeah, you can come and read a four-part blog feature where I discuss my three favourite Sean

(01:45:38):
Connery performances coming, give us some hits on the old website. And I'm not just saying this
because I'm biased but yeah, I generally love that blog. It really made me, yeah, really happy
to read that. That's right. I would recommend anyone to give that a read and enjoy. Right, well,
that wraps up this episode of the show. So, yeah, I guess I'll leave you two, Greg.

(01:46:00):
Okay, so and should we tell the listeners that we're going to tour kind of soon? We're going to have,
well, we're going to tour. We're going to Brussels. In fact, well, this episode will come out
what the day before we... Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. So that's the... Yeah, this episode...
...the February, I think, the February concert. Yeah, this episode will come out, yeah, the day before

(01:46:22):
we actually meet up in Brussels. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, SwallyPod is going on tour. We're having a
couple of days in Brussels to tear shit up and enjoy. So, yeah, like be like a shit version of
in-brews. Okay. But hopefully with less midgets and more drugs. Yeah.
Yeah. Our best drugs and more midgets. No. It'll be like a shit version of in-brews, but we will have

(01:46:46):
lots of fun, yeah. So, yeah, I guess. Yeah, because that's why we're banking this episode. Yeah.
Because you'll be waiting for that weekend. So, I won't see you next time. I'll see you in Brussels.
And then I'll see you next time on the Swally. See you in Brussels.
And I'm all right. Thanks you. And I'm all right. Fuck off.

(01:47:14):
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Episode 93 - Soft Top Hard Shoulder (1992)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 93 - Soft Top Hard Shoulder (1992)