The Unspoken Burden: Parentification in Black Families (feat. Dr. Paris LaLove) | TDA - E818

A powerful and layered conversation today on TDA.

The team was joined by Dr. Paris LaLove, a clinical psychologist and life coach, for an in-depth discussion about parentification, survival mode, and the emotional weight carried by many in Black households.

The show opened with laughter and intros - from E-Man’s “pro-black activist” tagline to jokes about farming and Hackney roots - before diving straight into an emotional dilemma update from a listener whose wife had lost her ambition and drive after motherhood.

What began as relationship talk evolved into deeper questions about identity, emotional labour, and the shifting expectations placed on women after marriage and children. Dr. Paris dissected the scenario with empathy and precision, explaining how depression, loss of identity, and imbalance in shared responsibility can quietly reshape a home.

From there, the conversation widened into gender, class, and race - exploring how Black women’s work ethic often stems from survival rather than choice, the inherited pressure to be “strong,” and how early parentification forces both sons and daughters to grow up too soon. The group discussed what happens when women want softness after years of struggle, why men often misunderstand that transition, and the difference between fault and responsibility in personal growth.

The show also unpacked today’s headlines, including:

• Donald Trump’s 20-point Israel–Hamas “peace plan.”

• King Charles and Prince William’s joint climate appearance.

• The Tim Westwood sexual assault charges.

• A chilling French case where a husband drugged and trafficked his wife for over a decade.

• A terror attack update in Manchester.

By the end, the conversation came full circle - from childhood wounds to adult healing - as Dr. Paris connected therapy, cultural context, and accountability, reminding everyone that awareness is the first step out of survival mode.