February 15, 2023 • 21 mins
We all experience moments of insecurity, feeling small, or not quite as good, maybe feeling we don't belong, or aren't good enough.
This week's episode is about some recent experiences of mine where I have felt this way.
And what I recently learned that has shifted my perspective, and I hope it helps shift yours too.
I spoke about a beautiful image I had recently seen online, and I found it. It was actually a photograph of a sculpture that had been displayed at the Burning Man Festival in 2015 , This sculpture, created by Alexander Milov for Titled “Love,” is a moving piece of art that really illustrates the inner child within us all. Have a look here
It's beautiful.
With all the competition and self doubt there in the world, I want you take a moment and realize your brilliance, accept and love yourself for who you are, and see that divine light within you, and how it is also in everyone else.
There is no competition here, not really. We are all ONE.
DM me on Facebook or Instagram and let me know what you got or could relate to in this week's episode.
💋✌️xoxo
Chelsea
#youareenough #allisone #onelove #divinelight #namaste
#noapologies #knowyourworth #vibehigh #riseabove #raiseyourvibe #selfworth #youarestrong #youaredivine #youareworthy #affirm #rememberwhoyouare #rememberwhothefuckyouare #healingoldwounds #healingjourney #heartaf #theheartafpodcast #podcast #youarenotalone #youareloved #youareworthit #standtall #ownit
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Hey everyone, it's Chelsea Van Busk with the Heart AF podcast.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
I spent last week at a three dayconference called Soul Speaks from the
stage, and it was an amazing experiencethat really got me to connect with
my intuition a little bit more as faras when I'm speaking and how to speak
(00:29):
from that place of inner knowing andhow to connect with an audience when
I'm speaking to them face to facefrom a stage and how to be able to
really stripped down these kind ofexpectations or the notion that I have
to have, you know, my whole talk figuredout or planned out and scripted, right?
(00:52):
It's about speaking really from the souland really tapping into that inner knowing
and that that inner knowledge that'swithin us and letting it come out, right,
like settling into our space, into ourbreath, and seeing what's coming through.
what's coming through in thatspecific moment that you feel you
need to get out and say to theaudience that you're connecting with.
(01:16):
And what's really amazing about thatexperience is I believe that already.
Like I believe that when you knowcreators create, when you know artists
are creating beautiful works of art,when writers are writing and they're in
flow, when you're in that flow state,When a renowned speaker is speaking
(01:37):
from their soul and speaking clearlywith a message of meaning, and when
they're connecting with that creativespace, that is a space that's coming
from our divine connections, right?
It's our way that we're tappingin with that divine source.
And so, Such an amazing experience, right.
And right up my alley, um,with my spirituality and how I
(02:02):
feel about our connection withthat divine, um, self, right?
That higher self within us andconnecting with our creator.
Um, so it was a, an amazing experience,but also, um, terrifying at the same time.
I was in a room full of women,a lot of them who are older than
me, who I felt were wiser thanme, more experienced than me.
(02:24):
A lot of women who have had, um, a lotof experience in the corporate world
who have made some big changes and haveaccomplished a lot more than what I
consider to be successful in my own right.
Right.
Like these are successfulwomen in my eyes.
And it was very intimidatingto walk into this room of them.
A lot of them have known each other.
(02:46):
They're in a, a coaching program together.
So I did feel like anoutsider in a lot of ways.
Walking in.
Um, there were moments of self-doubt,feeling like, do I belong here?
Should I be here?
Those kinds of things.
But as the few days went on, asas I got to connect and really get
to know these women and hearingtheir stories on the stage and
(03:07):
hearing them speak from their souls.
Even though a lot of us have differentsectors, we work in different expertise
and different, um, you know, lifepaths and different experiences.
We very much had similarstories in a lot of ways.
We all had very similar feelings,very similar emotional experiences.
Right?
(03:27):
Like even though the experiencesthemselves might have been
somewhat different, we've haddifferent life experiences.
But at the same time, the feelingsthat we experienced in those different
life experiences were similar.
We all struggled with, um,appreciating ourselves.
We all struggled with, um, feeling likewe don't belong or feeling, um, you
know, insecure in a lot of ways, right?
(03:48):
Like getting up on stage is a veryvulnerable place to be when you're
standing up talking in front of people.
For me, it's a lot easier toget in front of a camera or.
You know, speak on this podcast,something like that, because
it's just, it's just me, right?
It's just me and the camera, and I don'tknow who this message is gonna reach.
I don't know how people are gonna respond.
(04:09):
I don't know.
But when you're on stage, you're in frontof the people who are receiving it, right?
Like you're making eye contact with them.
So that's a whole different ballgame,and it is one of my dreams to be
able to speak love on stage and tobe able to make an impact to people.
From a stage.
That's something that'son my vision board.
That's something that Iwould much like to do.
(04:31):
Um, you know, I can see myselfthere, I can see it, but it's
also terrifying at the same time.
So this was such an incredibleexperience, like pushing me outta
my comfort zone in a lot of ways.
Um, but I wanted to go back to thisfeeling of that insecurity, this insecure
place of not feeling like I didn't fitin, right, because in my mind, pretty
much haven't done much with my life.
(04:52):
in my mind, comparing myself to theseother women who have come, are coming
from, you know, creating businessesand c being c female CEOs and, um,
rocket scientists and things like that.
Like these are the, this wasthe room of women I was around.
Right?
Women who have successfully built thesebusinesses themselves and who have risen
to the top, who have climbed laddersand broken glass ceilings, right.
Making a difference in, um, equalityin the corporate workplace, right?
(05:16):
Like they're using their voices andtheir talents to rise up as women in
a lot of male dominated industries.
And it's, it's amazing.
It's magical and it'slike awe inspiring, right?
I was awestruck by these women andjust, I wish I could do something that.
Meaningful, impactful.
Right.
Again, it's, and we'renot like that, right?
Like, it wasn't just me, like itwas the other women in the room too.
(05:36):
Like they felt like they were comparingthemselves to the other women.
Like, you know, maybe thinking that theydidn't make as big of an impact as that
woman up there or that woman over there.
But the truth of it is that everysingle one of us, including myself,
have all made an impact and adifference in our own unique ways.
And that's one of the things I,I, I like to talk about is this
notion that our accomplishmentsdon't equate our worth, right?
(06:01):
The roles we play, the titles wegive ourselves, that is not what
our worth is based upon and ourconditioning, our, the way that, you
know, society kind of frames things.
We get that notion that our worthis based on those achievements.
Our worth is based on how much money wemake or how many, um, uh, what do I want?
(06:22):
Like, um, accumulations we have, right?
Like it says that's success.
But that's wrong.
That's a wrong idea.
And that's something that I'm reallytrying to break with my message
is that our worth is not based onthose things and that we actually
don't have anything to prove becausewe're innately worthy, right?
Like just being in this space, just beingalive at this time is our worthiness.
(06:48):
We are worthy of being heard,we're worthy of being loved.
We're worthy of respect.
And.
I really want people to see that withinthemselves because it's really hard.
It's really hard.
And you know, I talked a bit on, um, theepisode about like the hustle culture,
and we're always wanting to feel likewe have to push ourselves and, um,
(07:08):
you know, get these accomplishmentsand hit that next, you know, rung
on the ladder to achieve success.
But success is really about how wefeel about ourselves and realizing
that we don't have anything toprove and that we are worthy.
We're worthy of being happyand being joyful, and we don't
(07:31):
have to suffer to get that.
And I think that's, that's the problemthat a lot of us run into, is we feel like
we have to suffer in order to receive,or we have to prove or we have to work,
um, in order to receive or feel worthy.
And, and, and it's, it's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
We are all divinely and innately worthy.
Just by being here, we all havethese unique special gifts and
(07:53):
it's not a competition, right?
We come from an abundant place.
We come from a place wherethere are no limits, right?
Like we come from this creationspace and we are a piece of that.
Like we are abundant,we are expanding, right?
And we forget that we forget.
that we don't haveanything to prove, right?
(08:14):
We get sucked in to that conditioning.
Right?
And it's hard.
I'm not saying it's not hard to breakaway from that mindset and that mentality
feeling like we have to prove ourselves,but it's something to just think about
and remind yourself of that you don'thave anything to prove, and that every
single person is just as worthy and isjust as good as everybody else, right?
Like I feel like we get stuck inthis competitive mindset where,
(08:37):
you know, I'm better than you.
, they're better than me.
That kind of thing.
Um, they have more things than Ido, so that means they're better.
And it it, that's not it.
That's not it.
That is false.
That is, that is an illusion.
Okay.
Um, because when it comes down to it,we are all more than what we have.
We are all more than theroles we play, right?
(08:58):
Like we all have this, this soul,this spirit, piece of us, right?
That lives on forever.
That piece of us that never dies,that piece of us that's here forever.
Our essence, that was something wetalked a lot about over our, um,
three day workshop was our essence.
Not the content of what we were speakingon stage, but the essence, what we brought
(09:19):
to the stage with our essence, right?
Our presence.
How are we showing up?
What is it that we are bringing to thestage without even saying anything, right?
. That's something I would love forevery one of you to take a notice
that, like what is your essence?
What are you giving to the worldwithout having to say anything?
Without having to do anything, right?
(09:41):
Like you just being with yourself,just in your space, right?
Like taking up that space andjust being you and standing tall.
How are you showing up for the world?
Because you, a, you havesomething to offer, right?
Your smile, holding the dooropen for a stranger , your
(10:01):
presence that your energy, right?
What happens when you walk into a room?
How does that impact the other people?
The other things that aregoing on in that room, right?
Like how are you showing up?
It's a really interesting thingto, to analyze and to take
a look at and to reflect on.
Um, we get so caught up, right?
In these things we feellike we have to do.
We have to, to prove ourselves.
(10:23):
Like I know for me, I spoke aboutthis a little bit at the, um,
at the event too, is that you.
My ego wants me to share the thingsthat I've accumulated or that, um, you
know, me and my husband have built with,you know, his business and these things
and, um, because I feel like that givesme some skin in the game or that makes
(10:43):
me feel like I have something to say.
But the truth of it is, it's not likethere's so much more to me than that.
And I like it's, you know what I mean?
Like it's, it does, itdoesn't mean anything.
That doesn't equate my worthiness.
My worthiness isn't about thoseaccumulations that we have and
um, it's so easy to forget that.
And I know when I went to, so the, howI found out about this speaking workshop
(11:05):
or this speaking event, is I went tothis Women's Ignite Conference back
in November, and a friend had invitedme, had never heard of it before.
And again, I mean, thiswas a huge event, right?
Many, many women there.
A lot of the women were from thecorporate world again, right?
And, and here I am in my small, mysmall shoes are how I felt, right?
And I felt like I was small,like maybe I shouldn't be there.
That's how I felt walking in there.
(11:26):
I was very, very nervous,very self-conscious.
And people would a, you know,if people are just trying to get
to know you, make conversation.
But one of the first things theyask you is, so what do you do?
And I would freeze.
, I didn't know what to say causeI feel like I'm kind of in this
transitional moment, but I, I wouldstutter and I would, you know, kind
of ping pong it, like, oh, well I,I do real estate, but I'm like not
(11:48):
trying to do real estate anymore.
And like, you know, I, Imanage our, our, our rentals.
But like, I'm trying to write abook and I have a podcast and I
don't really know what I'm doing.
And so it was like I could nevergive anybody a straight answer.
I just would like word vomit allover everybody that would ask me,
cause I really didn't know what tosay and it's like I wanted to sound
intelligent and smart and say something.
That I knew what I was doing, butI really had no idea what to say.
(12:11):
And I started to really doubt myself.
After that first day.
I questioned coming back the next daybecause I was like, shit, I'm around
all these women who were, you know, alot of them have these job titles that
they can just sp off, you know, what doyou do when they have something to say?
Um, and I felt like I didn't,and I just felt, you know, like,
again, like, I shouldn't be here.
This place isn't for me.
Like I'm in the wrong place.
(12:32):
Um, but I stayed and I stuck it out.
And the thing I realized, , everyinteraction I had, even though I
stumbled with what to say, with whatI was doing, they were all just,
you know, they all just listened andwere interested and, um, you know,
didn't make me feel like I was small.
They didn't, you know, they, theyactually engaged with me and talked
with me and it wasn't that, you know, Ifound out I wasn't that different from
(12:53):
them because a lot of them were also intransitions in their careers and didn't
really know what they were doing either.
So there was a lot of, um, , likefamiliarity or, um, we were able to,
um, bond over similar experiencesand feelings of feeling like
we don't know what we're doing.
I mean, that's a scary place to be whenyou're not really sure where you're going
or what direction or what you wanna do.
And so a lot of women were actuallythere and some of these women like, kind
(13:16):
of had an idea what they wanted to do.
And were here this conferenceactually to get better ideas of how
they could, you know, grow certainbusinesses or do certain things.
And so, Actually speaking and talkingand connecting with these women really
showed me that we're all not far off fromeach other as I assumed we were right.
And I think that's the thing too, iswe always assume that, you know, we see
people's highlight reels on social media,or we see people's successes and we just
(13:39):
assume that, oh, they've got it together.
They know what they're doing.
Everything's great and shinyand bright in their life.
But the truth of it is we allare struggling with something.
I mean, just because someone showsup every day to and does certain
things or is successful, doesn'tmean that they're not struggling with
their relationships at home, right?
Like relationships are hardand they have drops and downs.
Like people are always gonna be strugglingwith that to some extent, right?
(14:00):
Like relationships ebb and flow ifsomebody's in a committed relationship,
they're gonna have, you know, times wherethings are hard and times when things
are great, like that's gonna be somethingthat's in their mind that they're not
like probably coming forward with.
There might be.
, um, family dramas or stories we don't evenknow that they're dealing with, right?
Or grief that we don't knowpeople are dealing with.
Um, people who are juststruggling with balancing, their
(14:23):
parents or their kids, right?
Like we never know what's going on behindclosed doors, we don't know the day-to-day
struggles that people are havinginternally, that they're fighting, like
those internal struggles they're goingwith on their day-to-day life, right?
Like some people might be strugglingwith depression or, um, you know,
some other kind of not visible.
Illnesses.
Right?
(14:43):
Or maybe they are going through their ownlike physical health illness that we can't
physically see, but maybe they're dealingwith like a cancer scare or, abnormal
test results from something, right?
You never know what people are carryingwith them in their day-to-day lives,
but they turn that off and they show up.
, you know, in their job or they show upon social media, like everything's great.
(15:04):
You know what I mean?
Like, you just never know the depthof what people are struggling with
internally, with their intimaterelationships, with their family
members or their spouses or their kids.
Everybody struggles.
And I guess what I wanna get to inthis, episode is just like the humanity
of connecting with other peopleand realizing that we're not so far
(15:24):
off from each other than we think.
And that.
, no one's perfect but likeat the same time, we're all,
imperfectly perfect, right?
Like we're all beautiful and we all havethese gifts and, like this greatness to
offer the world just by being ourselves.
And what I really am trying todo, I feel like is really get
more intimate and vulnerable withpeople and connecting and letting
(15:46):
people know that you are not alone.
And that so many of us are strugglingwith the same things and that
you're not alone and, and there's peoplethere for you if you just kind of have to
open up and be able to share some of thesevulnerabilities and connect with people.
And sometimes that can be really hardto do when you feel kind of stuck
like you, are in this space wheremaybe you feel like you can't talk
to even like your spouse, and I thinkthat's why, organized religions and
(16:09):
churches thrive, so well, cause theyoffer that kind of community, right?
But at the same time, there's sometimesthose communities that actually
end up shutting you out, right?
Like I've heard stories of that too,where people are struggling with
some of these things and they cometo their religious group or their
community that they thought they had.
But there's this layer of like judgmentwhere if you don't fit in this box,
then we can't really support you.
And that to me is a problem.
(16:30):
And so that's something I'mtrying to shift and fix too.
With You know, trying to build thisonline community for women to have a
safe space, like it doesn't matter.
You don't have to fit intoa box to be supported.
We support you no matter what, andwe're not gonna try to make you fit.
Like you get to come as you are andwe're gonna support you no matter what.
And that's somethingthat I'm trying to build.
But I just need you guys to knowthat you're never alone and that
(16:54):
there's more people that arestruggling than you might realize.
And you know, if they're.
I just, my, my wish or my hope isthat more people could rise up and
share their vulnerabilities withothers to have these real intimate
connections with each other to see how.
, you know, similar.
We really are.
(17:14):
And how, you know, there really isn'tthis, I'm better than you attitude, right?
Like, I feel like that's just a facadeand really it's just to hide insecurities.
And the thing is, iswe're all insecure, right?
Like we all have these insecuritiesand really, I feel like when people are
trying to show up and talk about theirsuccesses or whatever, like some of it
is like, you know, you do need to beproud of yourself for doing things right?
(17:34):
That's, it's great to accomplishthings, but at the same time it's this,
we're trying to reassure ourselves andwe're trying to like prove our worth.
That's, that to me is what we're doingwhen we're like sharing those things.
We're trying to like validateourselves in what we're doing, right?
Like we're trying to proveourselves with the things we do.
And, you know, how different could thingsbe if we just kind of took off those,
(17:56):
like the, the facade of all that and justlike saw each other for who we really are.
If you've ever done a yoga class,you know, you always end it
with this, this namaste, right?
And there's different interpretationsto it, but essentially what it
means is that the light in mesees and honors the light in you.
And what it's really talking aboutis like that inner light, this inner
(18:18):
light that we all have that thathigher self, the part that connect,
like we're all connected, right?
Like if you think ofit as like a web, like.
We are all connected.
We are all one.
We all come from the same source.
There's a piece of us that is sharedand each and every one of us that's
that's shared from our source, fromour creator, and it's connecting
(18:38):
every single one of us together.
And if we could really take offeverything else and just see that pure
divine light within each and everyone of us, if we could just see that.
Like, what an amazingworld this place would be.
Right?
If we could strip away all theeverything else and just see each
other for who we really are, whichis that, that divine light, right?
(19:00):
Like our soul or higher selves.
There was a beautiful image, and ifI can find it, I will link it to the
description as podcast, but as animage of these two adults, I think
it might be a female and a male.
Figure, and they're sittingback to back, right?
Like their backs are laid up againsteach other, and they're both crouched
with their, you know, kind of huggingtheir knees in this, um, angry,
(19:21):
sad, upset kind of state, right?
And they're both, they're bothlooking away from each other.
Their backs are faced, you know, butthey're back to back and inside of them
are children and the two children, Areputting their hands up to each other
like this, facing each other, right?
It's almost like you're seeingthat within each one of us as
this inner wounded child, right?
(19:41):
That we're all just these beautiful,innocent children inside, right?
That just wanna be loved, just wannabe seen and accepted for who we are.
And we grow up as these adults put,putting on our masks and, and these
walls to, you know, to toughen up and tolike shield out all the hurt and pain.
and then we're suffering aloneinstead of realizing that internally
(20:05):
we are all these little childrenthat just want the same things.
So that's the image I want to leave youguys with, with this episode is that we're
really not that far off from each other.
Right?
And the next time, if you findyourself walking in to a, a room of
people you think that maybe you don'tfit in with, or that you're feeling
less than to remember that we're all
(20:28):
we're all just the same, right?
We're all just wanting to be seen, wantingto be loved and accepted for who we are.
And the realness of it is you'vegotta accept and love yourself, right?
It comes from loving yourselfand realizing that inner divinity
that's within you, and thenseeing that in everyone else.
I hope this hits something withyou, or at least got you thinking.
(20:51):
I would love to hear from you.
Let me know if this episoderesonated with you at all.
If you got anything from it.
I love getting the textmessages and the dms.
I'm not gonna give out my number publicly.
That's just for personal friends.
But if you wanna give me, um,a DM on Instagram or Facebook,
that's where I'm at, mostly justslide in my dms and let me know.
Share with me anything that youtook away from this episode, because
(21:14):
that's what pumps me up and keeps meshowing up for you guys every week and
it motivates me to keep showing up foryou and speaking what's in my soul.
And, um, I appreciateall the support and love.
Like I hope you know howmuch that means to me.
It's amazing.
Um, so please, I love the feedback.
, I hope you guys had a wonderfulweek, stay beautiful and strong and
(21:38):
know that you are amazing and worthit, and that you have this amazing
divine light that's within you.
Let that light shine, my friend.
Let it shine.
I'll see you guys next week.
Peace.
Hey everyone, it's Chelsea Van Busk with the Heart AF podcast.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
I spent last week at a three dayconference called Soul Speaks from the
stage, and it was an amazing experiencethat really got me to connect with
my intuition a little bit more as faras when I'm speaking and how to speak
(00:29):
from that place of inner knowing andhow to connect with an audience when
I'm speaking to them face to facefrom a stage and how to be able to
really stripped down these kind ofexpectations or the notion that I have
to have, you know, my whole talk figuredout or planned out and scripted, right?
(00:52):
It's about speaking really from the souland really tapping into that inner knowing
and that that inner knowledge that'swithin us and letting it come out, right,
like settling into our space, into ourbreath, and seeing what's coming through.
what's coming through in thatspecific moment that you feel you
need to get out and say to theaudience that you're connecting with.
(01:16):
And what's really amazing about thatexperience is I believe that already.
Like I believe that when you knowcreators create, when you know artists
are creating beautiful works of art,when writers are writing and they're in
flow, when you're in that flow state,When a renowned speaker is speaking
(01:37):
from their soul and speaking clearlywith a message of meaning, and when
they're connecting with that creativespace, that is a space that's coming
from our divine connections, right?
It's our way that we're tappingin with that divine source.
And so, Such an amazing experience, right.
And right up my alley, um,with my spirituality and how I
(02:02):
feel about our connection withthat divine, um, self, right?
That higher self within us andconnecting with our creator.
Um, so it was a, an amazing experience,but also, um, terrifying at the same time.
I was in a room full of women,a lot of them who are older than
me, who I felt were wiser thanme, more experienced than me.
(02:24):
A lot of women who have had, um, a lotof experience in the corporate world
who have made some big changes and haveaccomplished a lot more than what I
consider to be successful in my own right.
Right.
Like these are successfulwomen in my eyes.
And it was very intimidatingto walk into this room of them.
A lot of them have known each other.
(02:46):
They're in a, a coaching program together.
So I did feel like anoutsider in a lot of ways.
Walking in.
Um, there were moments of self-doubt,feeling like, do I belong here?
Should I be here?
Those kinds of things.
But as the few days went on, asas I got to connect and really get
to know these women and hearingtheir stories on the stage and
(03:07):
hearing them speak from their souls.
Even though a lot of us have differentsectors, we work in different expertise
and different, um, you know, lifepaths and different experiences.
We very much had similarstories in a lot of ways.
We all had very similar feelings,very similar emotional experiences.
Right?
(03:27):
Like even though the experiencesthemselves might have been
somewhat different, we've haddifferent life experiences.
But at the same time, the feelingsthat we experienced in those different
life experiences were similar.
We all struggled with, um,appreciating ourselves.
We all struggled with, um, feeling likewe don't belong or feeling, um, you
know, insecure in a lot of ways, right?
(03:48):
Like getting up on stage is a veryvulnerable place to be when you're
standing up talking in front of people.
For me, it's a lot easier toget in front of a camera or.
You know, speak on this podcast,something like that, because
it's just, it's just me, right?
It's just me and the camera, and I don'tknow who this message is gonna reach.
I don't know how people are gonna respond.
(04:09):
I don't know.
But when you're on stage, you're in frontof the people who are receiving it, right?
Like you're making eye contact with them.
So that's a whole different ballgame,and it is one of my dreams to be
able to speak love on stage and tobe able to make an impact to people.
From a stage.
That's something that'son my vision board.
That's something that Iwould much like to do.
(04:31):
Um, you know, I can see myselfthere, I can see it, but it's
also terrifying at the same time.
So this was such an incredibleexperience, like pushing me outta
my comfort zone in a lot of ways.
Um, but I wanted to go back to thisfeeling of that insecurity, this insecure
place of not feeling like I didn't fitin, right, because in my mind, pretty
much haven't done much with my life.
(04:52):
in my mind, comparing myself to theseother women who have come, are coming
from, you know, creating businessesand c being c female CEOs and, um,
rocket scientists and things like that.
Like these are the, this wasthe room of women I was around.
Right?
Women who have successfully built thesebusinesses themselves and who have risen
to the top, who have climbed laddersand broken glass ceilings, right.
Making a difference in, um, equalityin the corporate workplace, right?
(05:16):
Like they're using their voices andtheir talents to rise up as women in
a lot of male dominated industries.
And it's, it's amazing.
It's magical and it'slike awe inspiring, right?
I was awestruck by these women andjust, I wish I could do something that.
Meaningful, impactful.
Right.
Again, it's, and we'renot like that, right?
Like, it wasn't just me, like itwas the other women in the room too.
(05:36):
Like they felt like they were comparingthemselves to the other women.
Like, you know, maybe thinking that theydidn't make as big of an impact as that
woman up there or that woman over there.
But the truth of it is that everysingle one of us, including myself,
have all made an impact and adifference in our own unique ways.
And that's one of the things I,I, I like to talk about is this
notion that our accomplishmentsdon't equate our worth, right?
(06:01):
The roles we play, the titles wegive ourselves, that is not what
our worth is based upon and ourconditioning, our, the way that, you
know, society kind of frames things.
We get that notion that our worthis based on those achievements.
Our worth is based on how much money wemake or how many, um, uh, what do I want?
(06:22):
Like, um, accumulations we have, right?
Like it says that's success.
But that's wrong.
That's a wrong idea.
And that's something that I'm reallytrying to break with my message
is that our worth is not based onthose things and that we actually
don't have anything to prove becausewe're innately worthy, right?
Like just being in this space, just beingalive at this time is our worthiness.
(06:48):
We are worthy of being heard,we're worthy of being loved.
We're worthy of respect.
And.
I really want people to see that withinthemselves because it's really hard.
It's really hard.
And you know, I talked a bit on, um, theepisode about like the hustle culture,
and we're always wanting to feel likewe have to push ourselves and, um,
(07:08):
you know, get these accomplishmentsand hit that next, you know, rung
on the ladder to achieve success.
But success is really about how wefeel about ourselves and realizing
that we don't have anything toprove and that we are worthy.
We're worthy of being happyand being joyful, and we don't
(07:31):
have to suffer to get that.
And I think that's, that's the problemthat a lot of us run into, is we feel like
we have to suffer in order to receive,or we have to prove or we have to work,
um, in order to receive or feel worthy.
And, and, and it's, it's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
We are all divinely and innately worthy.
Just by being here, we all havethese unique special gifts and
(07:53):
it's not a competition, right?
We come from an abundant place.
We come from a place wherethere are no limits, right?
Like we come from this creationspace and we are a piece of that.
Like we are abundant,we are expanding, right?
And we forget that we forget.
that we don't haveanything to prove, right?
(08:14):
We get sucked in to that conditioning.
Right?
And it's hard.
I'm not saying it's not hard to breakaway from that mindset and that mentality
feeling like we have to prove ourselves,but it's something to just think about
and remind yourself of that you don'thave anything to prove, and that every
single person is just as worthy and isjust as good as everybody else, right?
Like I feel like we get stuck inthis competitive mindset where,
(08:37):
you know, I'm better than you.
, they're better than me.
That kind of thing.
Um, they have more things than Ido, so that means they're better.
And it it, that's not it.
That's not it.
That is false.
That is, that is an illusion.
Okay.
Um, because when it comes down to it,we are all more than what we have.
We are all more than theroles we play, right?
(08:58):
Like we all have this, this soul,this spirit, piece of us, right?
That lives on forever.
That piece of us that never dies,that piece of us that's here forever.
Our essence, that was something wetalked a lot about over our, um,
three day workshop was our essence.
Not the content of what we were speakingon stage, but the essence, what we brought
(09:19):
to the stage with our essence, right?
Our presence.
How are we showing up?
What is it that we are bringing to thestage without even saying anything, right?
. That's something I would love forevery one of you to take a notice
that, like what is your essence?
What are you giving to the worldwithout having to say anything?
Without having to do anything, right?
(09:41):
Like you just being with yourself,just in your space, right?
Like taking up that space andjust being you and standing tall.
How are you showing up for the world?
Because you, a, you havesomething to offer, right?
Your smile, holding the dooropen for a stranger , your
(10:01):
presence that your energy, right?
What happens when you walk into a room?
How does that impact the other people?
The other things that aregoing on in that room, right?
Like how are you showing up?
It's a really interesting thingto, to analyze and to take
a look at and to reflect on.
Um, we get so caught up, right?
In these things we feellike we have to do.
We have to, to prove ourselves.
(10:23):
Like I know for me, I spoke aboutthis a little bit at the, um,
at the event too, is that you.
My ego wants me to share the thingsthat I've accumulated or that, um, you
know, me and my husband have built with,you know, his business and these things
and, um, because I feel like that givesme some skin in the game or that makes
(10:43):
me feel like I have something to say.
But the truth of it is, it's not likethere's so much more to me than that.
And I like it's, you know what I mean?
Like it's, it does, itdoesn't mean anything.
That doesn't equate my worthiness.
My worthiness isn't about thoseaccumulations that we have and
um, it's so easy to forget that.
And I know when I went to, so the, howI found out about this speaking workshop
(11:05):
or this speaking event, is I went tothis Women's Ignite Conference back
in November, and a friend had invitedme, had never heard of it before.
And again, I mean, thiswas a huge event, right?
Many, many women there.
A lot of the women were from thecorporate world again, right?
And, and here I am in my small, mysmall shoes are how I felt, right?
And I felt like I was small,like maybe I shouldn't be there.
That's how I felt walking in there.
(11:26):
I was very, very nervous,very self-conscious.
And people would a, you know,if people are just trying to get
to know you, make conversation.
But one of the first things theyask you is, so what do you do?
And I would freeze.
, I didn't know what to say causeI feel like I'm kind of in this
transitional moment, but I, I wouldstutter and I would, you know, kind
of ping pong it, like, oh, well I,I do real estate, but I'm like not
(11:48):
trying to do real estate anymore.
And like, you know, I, Imanage our, our, our rentals.
But like, I'm trying to write abook and I have a podcast and I
don't really know what I'm doing.
And so it was like I could nevergive anybody a straight answer.
I just would like word vomit allover everybody that would ask me,
cause I really didn't know what tosay and it's like I wanted to sound
intelligent and smart and say something.
That I knew what I was doing, butI really had no idea what to say.
(12:11):
And I started to really doubt myself.
After that first day.
I questioned coming back the next daybecause I was like, shit, I'm around
all these women who were, you know, alot of them have these job titles that
they can just sp off, you know, what doyou do when they have something to say?
Um, and I felt like I didn't,and I just felt, you know, like,
again, like, I shouldn't be here.
This place isn't for me.
Like I'm in the wrong place.
(12:32):
Um, but I stayed and I stuck it out.
And the thing I realized, , everyinteraction I had, even though I
stumbled with what to say, with whatI was doing, they were all just,
you know, they all just listened andwere interested and, um, you know,
didn't make me feel like I was small.
They didn't, you know, they, theyactually engaged with me and talked
with me and it wasn't that, you know, Ifound out I wasn't that different from
(12:53):
them because a lot of them were also intransitions in their careers and didn't
really know what they were doing either.
So there was a lot of, um, , likefamiliarity or, um, we were able to,
um, bond over similar experiencesand feelings of feeling like
we don't know what we're doing.
I mean, that's a scary place to be whenyou're not really sure where you're going
or what direction or what you wanna do.
And so a lot of women were actuallythere and some of these women like, kind
(13:16):
of had an idea what they wanted to do.
And were here this conferenceactually to get better ideas of how
they could, you know, grow certainbusinesses or do certain things.
And so, Actually speaking and talkingand connecting with these women really
showed me that we're all not far off fromeach other as I assumed we were right.
And I think that's the thing too, iswe always assume that, you know, we see
people's highlight reels on social media,or we see people's successes and we just
(13:39):
assume that, oh, they've got it together.
They know what they're doing.
Everything's great and shinyand bright in their life.
But the truth of it is we allare struggling with something.
I mean, just because someone showsup every day to and does certain
things or is successful, doesn'tmean that they're not struggling with
their relationships at home, right?
Like relationships are hardand they have drops and downs.
Like people are always gonna be strugglingwith that to some extent, right?
(14:00):
Like relationships ebb and flow ifsomebody's in a committed relationship,
they're gonna have, you know, times wherethings are hard and times when things
are great, like that's gonna be somethingthat's in their mind that they're not
like probably coming forward with.
There might be.
, um, family dramas or stories we don't evenknow that they're dealing with, right?
Or grief that we don't knowpeople are dealing with.
Um, people who are juststruggling with balancing, their
(14:23):
parents or their kids, right?
Like we never know what's going on behindclosed doors, we don't know the day-to-day
struggles that people are havinginternally, that they're fighting, like
those internal struggles they're goingwith on their day-to-day life, right?
Like some people might be strugglingwith depression or, um, you know,
some other kind of not visible.
Illnesses.
Right?
(14:43):
Or maybe they are going through their ownlike physical health illness that we can't
physically see, but maybe they're dealingwith like a cancer scare or, abnormal
test results from something, right?
You never know what people are carryingwith them in their day-to-day lives,
but they turn that off and they show up.
, you know, in their job or they show upon social media, like everything's great.
(15:04):
You know what I mean?
Like, you just never know the depthof what people are struggling with
internally, with their intimaterelationships, with their family
members or their spouses or their kids.
Everybody struggles.
And I guess what I wanna get to inthis, episode is just like the humanity
of connecting with other peopleand realizing that we're not so far
(15:24):
off from each other than we think.
And that.
, no one's perfect but likeat the same time, we're all,
imperfectly perfect, right?
Like we're all beautiful and we all havethese gifts and, like this greatness to
offer the world just by being ourselves.
And what I really am trying todo, I feel like is really get
more intimate and vulnerable withpeople and connecting and letting
(15:46):
people know that you are not alone.
And that so many of us are strugglingwith the same things and that
you're not alone and, and there's peoplethere for you if you just kind of have to
open up and be able to share some of thesevulnerabilities and connect with people.
And sometimes that can be really hardto do when you feel kind of stuck
like you, are in this space wheremaybe you feel like you can't talk
to even like your spouse, and I thinkthat's why, organized religions and
(16:09):
churches thrive, so well, cause theyoffer that kind of community, right?
But at the same time, there's sometimesthose communities that actually
end up shutting you out, right?
Like I've heard stories of that too,where people are struggling with
some of these things and they cometo their religious group or their
community that they thought they had.
But there's this layer of like judgmentwhere if you don't fit in this box,
then we can't really support you.
And that to me is a problem.
(16:30):
And so that's something I'mtrying to shift and fix too.
With You know, trying to build thisonline community for women to have a
safe space, like it doesn't matter.
You don't have to fit intoa box to be supported.
We support you no matter what, andwe're not gonna try to make you fit.
Like you get to come as you are andwe're gonna support you no matter what.
And that's somethingthat I'm trying to build.
But I just need you guys to knowthat you're never alone and that
(16:54):
there's more people that arestruggling than you might realize.
And you know, if they're.
I just, my, my wish or my hope isthat more people could rise up and
share their vulnerabilities withothers to have these real intimate
connections with each other to see how.
, you know, similar.
We really are.
(17:14):
And how, you know, there really isn'tthis, I'm better than you attitude, right?
Like, I feel like that's just a facadeand really it's just to hide insecurities.
And the thing is, iswe're all insecure, right?
Like we all have these insecuritiesand really, I feel like when people are
trying to show up and talk about theirsuccesses or whatever, like some of it
is like, you know, you do need to beproud of yourself for doing things right?
(17:34):
That's, it's great to accomplishthings, but at the same time it's this,
we're trying to reassure ourselves andwe're trying to like prove our worth.
That's, that to me is what we're doingwhen we're like sharing those things.
We're trying to like validateourselves in what we're doing, right?
Like we're trying to proveourselves with the things we do.
And, you know, how different could thingsbe if we just kind of took off those,
(17:56):
like the, the facade of all that and justlike saw each other for who we really are.
If you've ever done a yoga class,you know, you always end it
with this, this namaste, right?
And there's different interpretationsto it, but essentially what it
means is that the light in mesees and honors the light in you.
And what it's really talking aboutis like that inner light, this inner
(18:18):
light that we all have that thathigher self, the part that connect,
like we're all connected, right?
Like if you think ofit as like a web, like.
We are all connected.
We are all one.
We all come from the same source.
There's a piece of us that is sharedand each and every one of us that's
that's shared from our source, fromour creator, and it's connecting
(18:38):
every single one of us together.
And if we could really take offeverything else and just see that pure
divine light within each and everyone of us, if we could just see that.
Like, what an amazingworld this place would be.
Right?
If we could strip away all theeverything else and just see each
other for who we really are, whichis that, that divine light, right?
(19:00):
Like our soul or higher selves.
There was a beautiful image, and ifI can find it, I will link it to the
description as podcast, but as animage of these two adults, I think
it might be a female and a male.
Figure, and they're sittingback to back, right?
Like their backs are laid up againsteach other, and they're both crouched
with their, you know, kind of huggingtheir knees in this, um, angry,
(19:21):
sad, upset kind of state, right?
And they're both, they're bothlooking away from each other.
Their backs are faced, you know, butthey're back to back and inside of them
are children and the two children, Areputting their hands up to each other
like this, facing each other, right?
It's almost like you're seeingthat within each one of us as
this inner wounded child, right?
(19:41):
That we're all just these beautiful,innocent children inside, right?
That just wanna be loved, just wannabe seen and accepted for who we are.
And we grow up as these adults put,putting on our masks and, and these
walls to, you know, to toughen up and tolike shield out all the hurt and pain.
and then we're suffering aloneinstead of realizing that internally
(20:05):
we are all these little childrenthat just want the same things.
So that's the image I want to leave youguys with, with this episode is that we're
really not that far off from each other.
Right?
And the next time, if you findyourself walking in to a, a room of
people you think that maybe you don'tfit in with, or that you're feeling
less than to remember that we're all
(20:28):
we're all just the same, right?
We're all just wanting to be seen, wantingto be loved and accepted for who we are.
And the realness of it is you'vegotta accept and love yourself, right?
It comes from loving yourselfand realizing that inner divinity
that's within you, and thenseeing that in everyone else.
I hope this hits something withyou, or at least got you thinking.
(20:51):
I would love to hear from you.
Let me know if this episoderesonated with you at all.
If you got anything from it.
I love getting the textmessages and the dms.
I'm not gonna give out my number publicly.
That's just for personal friends.
But if you wanna give me, um,a DM on Instagram or Facebook,
that's where I'm at, mostly justslide in my dms and let me know.
Share with me anything that youtook away from this episode, because
(21:14):
that's what pumps me up and keeps meshowing up for you guys every week and
it motivates me to keep showing up foryou and speaking what's in my soul.
And, um, I appreciateall the support and love.
Like I hope you know howmuch that means to me.
It's amazing.
Um, so please, I love the feedback.
, I hope you guys had a wonderfulweek, stay beautiful and strong and
(21:38):
know that you are amazing and worthit, and that you have this amazing
divine light that's within you.
Let that light shine, my friend.
Let it shine.
I'll see you guys next week.
Peace.
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