This is a conversation about the ritual my husband and I devised – mentioned briefly in my new book, Spells for the Apocalypse – and which we've shared with many friends who've heard us refer to it, who've asked us how to do it, or for advice on what we've done when our marriage was on the rocks. We touch on topics like the real estate market, intergenerational trauma, neurodiversity, astrocartography, collapse-oriented choices we've made, attachment and the somatic cycle – all my favourite things!
This ritual was a "Hail Mary" move in our marriage. Granted, we've never dealt with infidelity or lies, and we've always had a foundational respect. We really, genuinely like each other which, sadly, not all couples can say.
However, patriarchy is still in play, what with us both steeped in this patriarchal culture. And trauma always lurks in the shadows. And attachment is a dynamic force that can sometimes be stretched too thin.
So here's the breakdown of the ritual we've done in desperate times, why we think it worked/works, and the impact it's had on our marriage. We call it The Ritual of the Marriage Moon.
We begin with a little context around why we needed the ritual in the first place, and how it's still serving us many years later.
Referenced in this episode:
Diane Poole Heller's somatic attachment therapy training
Portrait of a Marriage podcast miniseries
Portrait of a Marriage article
The Roots of Addiction in Free Market Society by Bruce Alexander
The Numinous Network (where you can access my two attachment courses: Secure and Contact Nutrition 101)
*Not referenced in this article but definitely related and recommended for man-identified folks who want to learn more: Bear Hebert's course, Undoing Patriarchy
Order your copy of Spells for the Apocalypse: Practical Magic for Turbulent Times
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