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July 23, 2025 19 mins

ADHD Burnout - or is it that your DONE People Pleasing?

Have you ever wondered if you're really burnt out… or if you’re just done people pleasing?

In this episode, I’m sharing something I wish more ADHD women (including me) heard sooner: sometimes we’re not exhausted from doing too much—we’re exhausted from being too much for everyone else. From performing. From holding it all together. From being the “pleasant” one, even when we’re falling apart inside.

I open up about my own story—how I went from being a colicky baby to the “perfect child,” and how that shaped my tendency to mask, fawn, and make myself smaller to stay safe. I also walk you through the difference between true burnout and the nervous system fatigue that comes from chronic people pleasing and masking.

If you’ve been resting but still feel drained… if you’re overwhelmed but can’t point to why… or if you’re longing to be more real in your life but you’re afraid of what might happen—I made this episode for you.

You’ll learn:

  • Why ADHD women are especially vulnerable to fawning and masking
  • What signs point to people-pleasing fatigue (not just burnout)
  • How to start unmasking in small, powerful ways
  • What it actually means to feel safe enough to be yourself

—CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Understanding Exhaustion 00:52 The Burden of Masking and People Pleasing 02:24 Personal Experiences and Reflections 03:46 The Cost of Chronic Masking 08:54 Embracing Authenticity and Setting Boundaries 14:57 Practical Steps to Unmasking 18:18 Conclusion and Resources

 

✨ If this episode resonated with you… Please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support 💛

💌 Want to go deeper? I created The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small as a journal-book experience to help you reconnect with the version of you that doesn’t have to over-perform to be worthy. It’s part book, part ritual, and 100% soul-nourishing. 🌹 Grab your copy here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org

 

Connect with me on social media: YouTube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

 

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health, or medical advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact emergency services in your area. If you’re in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

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