Cat Lantigua: becoming a published author, being a community conduit, and discovering how celibacy unlocks new levels of creativity

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello, baddies.
Welcome back to The Soft Life podcast.
Today we have such a beautiful and special guest, a dear friend of mine, who I am so, sohappy to be talking to today.
We are here with the one and only Cat Lantigua, and she is here on her New York City booktour from her beautiful book, Build It and They Will Come, A Guide to Architecting

(00:28):
Intentional Community.
We are so happy and so so so grateful that you are here.
Welcome to The Soft Life
Thank you, I'm so glad to be back.
Well, actually, I think I had you on my show, but I've never been on your show, right?
my God.
Yes, yes!

(00:49):
Okay, that's on like, this feels so familiar, but yeah, I'm so glad to be on the show.
Thank you for inviting me and for just being curious about this project and of course forpouring so much love into me throughout this tour.
It means everything.
my gosh, of course, I am so proud of you.
You have been someone that I have looked to for so many reasons, but namely just yourauthenticity and the way that you show up for yourself first so that you can also show up

(01:20):
in for our community and create the spaces that we need so much.
So I'm honored to be here with you and.
I would just love to dive right in with you and describe how you're feeling in this exactmoment.
Like what's your vibe?
We're both in New York, but we're in different places right now.
It's raining, it's gloomy.
It's been like that all weekend, but what is your vibe right now?

(01:43):
How would you describe it?
think it's like a mix of feelings because I've been away from my personal space for almosttwo months now and I feel like the disconnect from having my own space and being committed
to my own routine has started to catch up with me but I'm also so grateful that the reasonI'm out of my routine is because I am spending time with my family and I'm talking about

(02:10):
this book and I'm going to bookstores and connecting with the folks that
I've been wanting to connect with in person.
Like I've been wanting to talk about this book in person.
So it's a mixed bag right now, but I think it's also allowing me to really appreciate theroutine and my practices and rituals in a way that I don't think I would have if I was

(02:34):
still in it because now I miss it.
And I'm really excited to get back into my practice.
And also I have a confidence now about
being able to regulate myself when I know that I have an environment that is conducive toit.
Whereas I think when I was younger, I didn't even know how to really fully take care of myinner world and my mental health.
Now I know what I need to do.

(02:54):
And so I am going to be able to navigate it differently.
Like as soon as I'm back at my spot, like I'm good.
I'm not aimless anymore, if that makes any sense to you.
Absolutely, of course.
No, think that resonates deeply with me.
I think as...
The folks listening will soon learn if you're not familiar with Cat and her story, but youreally are the definition of creating a safe space inside out and being able to alchemize

(03:26):
the work that you're doing internally and create something that is a reality externally.
And as I said before, watching you self-actualize is beyond inspiring.
It's needed.
And I just can't wait to get into this conversation because you are proof that when youtake care of yourself, the universe, God, your ancestors will take care of you too.

(03:51):
So I'm just so happy to be here with you.
I know we're like five minutes in and I'm already like eyes watering.
I know, like let me reel it in.
But honestly, just wanted to let you know that and I'm just so excited to have thisconversation with you.
Thank you.
For those who don't know you and know your amazing story, your incredible journey, can youdescribe your origin story and kind of give us in your own words, like who is Cat?

(04:22):
Where did you come from?
What are the cities, the places, the spaces that resonate with your origin story?
And also if you can give us a little, you know, for the astrology girls, maybe your bigthree, your sun moon, you know, give us a little T on that.
Well, we'll start off with my big three.

(04:42):
I am a New Year's baby.
So my birthday is January 1st.
My son is in Capricorn and my moon and my rising are in Aries.
I was born in the Bronx in the 90s.
My mom was a teen mom, my dad an immigrant to the United States from DR and

(05:03):
I would say that my origin story is one that is both very loud and very quiet at the sametime.
I come from a family that is very rich in its culture and texture and connection to oneanother.
And at the same time, I grew up in Miami.

(05:24):
I moved there when I was five and it's because my mom was trying to start a new life forus and she was in a new relationship and that...
move to Miami at the age of five really is where I think a lot of my quiet andintrospective childhood kind of formed.
Transparently, I think it was kind of trauma-based because there were some folks in mylife at the time that were not well.

(05:50):
And so I had to go very, very, very inward in order to protect myself and to kind ofrespond to the reality that I was living.
But you know, when I think back on how everything has played out in my life, it's veryinteresting that that is like where my contemplative practice began.
I have very vivid memories of being like six, seven, eight years old, just being in myroom and thinking a lot about what it meant to be a person, what it meant to feel sadness,

(06:23):
what it meant to lonely, what it meant to feel.
Like I yearned to be somewhere else, which was like in the Bronx with my very loud andloving Dominican family.
And so that's when I began to write.
That's when I began to journal.
I had diaries from like a very early age and I spent a lot of time playing by myself.

(06:47):
My little sister wasn't born until I was like eight years old.
So I just spent a lot of time by myself writing letters to people that never got it.
wishing I was somewhere else, imagining what my life would be like if I was in some otherplace.
And so I think that's like, it's kind of sad, but at the same time, that's what kind ofignited my imagination.

(07:10):
So I've been trying to make sense of like, know, sometimes our life plays out in a certainway and we don't really understand why when we're going through things, but when we think
back on it, it's like it had to kind of make sense in that way.
And so...
Eventually I began to write online.

(07:31):
I started a blog back in like 2011, I think, right after high school.
And I was just starting to kind of put my personal thoughts that would have been in adiary and a journal online on my first website that I honestly started this because I was
like bartending at this like private New Year's party.

(07:52):
I was 22.
I was turning 22.
So like my birthday is on January 1st.
So
I was bartending at this private party December 31st and this guy, I met this guy who waslike, there's just something about you.
I feel like you should be writing these things publicly.
Cause we were having a conversation at the bar about the new year and all this stuff.
And I don't know if I've ever told this story.

(08:13):
And I was like, really?
I don't know.
These are just my thoughts.
And I just kind of put this all in my journal.
And he was like, I want to make a logo for you.
And I want this to be.
like the moment that you decide that you're gonna start writing this and putting it out inthe world.
And I was like, okay, like whatever.
And so that was me going into like my 22nd birthday and he did make my logo.

(08:38):
And that's when I started my blog.
That's when I started KatLantigua.com.
And no one was reading it really at the time.
And for a long time, nobody was really engaging with my work.
It was just like the first time that I began to become.
comfortable with like sharing these personal thoughts with the world even though likemaybe five people were reading my blog at the time and then I've always been curious about

(09:03):
other people's stories and so I also began to like ask women that were inspiring me inMiami about their lives and what I began to do was just like interview them I would record
interviews on my phone and then transcribe them and then I would post these interviews onmy blog
And then that's how people started to kind of start, you know, engaging with me throughthe interviews that other people that I was doing for other people.

(09:29):
And in between those interviews, it was just like my thoughts about life and what it meantto like want more and to be sensitive.
and then I moved back to the Bronx when I was 24 and I kept doing that, but I began tofall in love with podcasting and audio production.
And so I was like, Hmm, what if I stopped?

(09:52):
writing these interviews and I began to actually record these interviews.
And then what if I stopped typing out these feelings and the thoughts that I had andinstead started to put them out?
And so I taught myself how to use garage bands and I got like a Yeti mic or something andthat's what I started to do.
And again, nobody was really listening to my podcasts, chats with Cat at the time.

(10:13):
It was really just this feeling that I had that I wanted to document because I just knewmy life was...
unfolding in a way that I wasn't sure how it would become, but I wanted to have proof thatI was trying.
And I wanted to create transparency about the grittiness of being a person that's justtrying to figure it out and talk to people who were open about what it meant for them to

(10:35):
be figuring it out.
And so that's how my podcast Chats with Cat Forms, and that was like 2017, I believe.
And then in the midst of that, I...
moved into my own apartment in Flatbush.
as I write about in chapter two of the book, that's where Goddess Council was formed.
And it became this like, this accidental community that started in my living room, becauseI was feeling really lonely in New York, and I had my family, but I wanted a different

(11:07):
kind of community.
I wanted to be around women who felt like I felt and who were going after the things thatI wanted to.
go after in my life, but in their own personal ways.
I wanted to have people that I could go to museums with and that I could go to brunch withand have like intimate dinners with and talk about like what it was that we were trying to
figure out in our lives.
And that kind of blossomed into eventually like a global women's wellness collective.

(11:32):
It started off in my living room and then it went to Miami and then we were gonna startbranching out into LA.
Cause I imagined it as like chapters in different cities and then 2020 happened andeverything became virtual.
And then that's when things like really grew for us because we were able to be accessibleto people all over.
And I don't have to talk about what happened in 2020 and beyond, but people really neededhelp and people wanted to feel like they belonged somewhere.

(11:59):
And so that's where my journey of like leaning into intentional gathering and architectingspaces began.
And that's where I became a facilitator all by accident, but it was like kind of like Godrevealing to me that
more within and that I had things that I could share and gifts that I wasn't even able totap into.

(12:19):
And it kind of began to form my understanding of what I'm here for.
And it's really so that I can be a conduit for like, people to feel safe to tap intothemselves.
I kind of go back and forth with this word of like, am I a healer?
Am I not a healer?
And I'm like, no, I'm not.

(12:41):
I don't heal people.
just
allow people, I give people the permission to show up to a space so that they can tap intowhat it means to heal for themselves.
And I do that by showing people first and foremost what it's been like for me.
I can't tell people like, you're safe to like unfold if I haven't shown them what it'sbeen like for me to unfold.

(13:04):
And as I think about like 24 year old Cat that was recording the podcast who was liketalking about these things, like I feel like she knew that.
it would be a testimony in the future because the proof point is there.
Like I've been trying to figure it out and I still don't know what it's like to have theanswers.
But like, I don't think I have any shame in being open about the fact that like, I don'tknow what I'm doing, but I know I'm going somewhere.

(13:27):
And then now I have this book that's allowed me to pour in all of these lessons into atangible physical project.
And
That's just yet another proof point.
Like I didn't know that I would eventually have a book out in 2024.
I didn't know that I would be able to talk about all of the things that have happened tome and that I've learned.

(13:51):
But I guess there's a part of my soul that always knew this is what was going to happen.
And I'm just so grateful that I get to share this with people and that I get to now createintentional gathering space, but through like a literary approach.
Because this is just like another manifestation of what my soul really just wants to do,which is just allow people to feel and to connect with another human being that is just

(14:19):
trying just like they are.
Wow, wow.
That was so beautifully said.
I mean, I'm just still taking it all in and there are so many things that stuck out withwhen you were sharing about your origin story and kind of describing how you came to this

(14:40):
point.
think one of the things that stuck out was, number one, the receptivity that you had.
for someone to say, I think you should start writing and you should start sharing yourwriting.
And in that moment, you have a choice, right?
You can either reject that and be like, no, why would I do that?

(15:00):
Or you can be receptive to it and think, okay, well, let me dig deeper, right?
And then from there, you had the courage, like that was almost like that one drop.
I'm sure there were many other situations through your family, friends, experiences,travel.
but just from what you outlined, that experience also connecting the dot to you having thecourage to start Goddess Councils and being vulnerable enough to show up and ask people to

(15:33):
come in and build a community in that way.
And I also think it's so beautiful how it parallels to how you started
the process of writing, build it and they will come.
And I think people sometimes think confidence is like this trait that you're either bornwith or not, or sometimes they think, well, if you're, for example, like, know, if you're

(16:01):
a fire sign, you must be confident because you're an Aries or you're sad or whatever,right?
Like people think it's something that you're just inherently born with, but it's actuallya practice.
And it...
is a skill and what it sounds like to me is through these moments, these micro moments,like I like to say, you started to build that confidence so that you could publish and

(16:26):
create something tangible as this and share it with the world.
And I think that just a, that is a testament to listening to those signs, but also beingable to like synthesize all of that.
information, those downloads and actually put it together.
And I think as creatives, is kind of the end goal is to synthesize that those experiencesand to create something that is tangible at the end of the day.

(16:58):
this watching you do this is so powerful.
You also being someone who came from a background where you didn't probably have that muchrepresentation.
of seeing someone do it in the way that you did is also incredible.
And you just having the foresight to do that with such intention.

(17:20):
I also love that you use the word conduit because I think healers and people who are incommunity, they have titles that either they give themselves or other people give them.
But...
The word conduit is such a unique and special word that I think not a lot of people arefamiliar with.

(17:44):
So can we actually dig deeper and like talk about that?
Like, why does that resonate deeply with you?
That is also a word that resonates deeply with me.
But I would love to hear from your perspective.
Like, what is it about being a conduit that you feel just gels with you?
I love that you asked me that.

(18:05):
I've never really been able to talk about this with anyone.
You know, even as I navigate this book tour and I'm engaging with folks who perceive me,right?
And who have their own experience of me that I'm just finding out about.
Because I put things out, but I don't know how it's gonna be received.
I don't know how it impacts people.
I just allow myself to be a conduit.

(18:27):
I allow the message, the lesson, the feeling to be.
alchemized into something and I release it and I don't know what the energetic charge ofthat is when it finds the people it's supposed to find.
I just know what the energetic charge is for me as I'm receiving it.
And so I feel to the point of titles and stuff, like I have been, people put the termhealer on me because of how I make them feel, but I don't resonate with that because I

(18:58):
don't feel like it's me.
whatever they feel, like it is me, it's my body, it's my voice, it's my face, it's all ofthis.
But a lot of things that have happened throughout my life, a lot of moments where I havemade things and written things, it feels like I'm just like, it's just me and God in that

(19:18):
moment, trying to make sense of what this life experience is.
And so that's why I feel like I'm a conduit because in that moment, I'm having my ownspiritual relationship with what I'm writing, what I'm saying.
what I'm trying to make sense of.
And it's me, it's me and God, just us.
because I share, because I put it out, then people get to experience that relationship,that spiritual relationship that I have with God.

(19:46):
And I don't think about God as like a man in the sky.
I think about God as like source, mother, that energy that we all come back, that we'reall from and that we go back to.
And so...
Writing and and and going into this contemplative practice for me has been spiritual andI've needed it because life for me has been very confusing for a long long long long long

(20:09):
long time And I feel like now I'm 31.
I'm about to turn 32.
It's starting to make more sense And make more sense in that like I know now the lessonswill never end.
I know now that every time I enter the void of confusion
It's because there's something I'm supposed to take out of there.
There's some information I'm supposed to bring back.

(20:29):
There's something I'm supposed to bring back into the light.
And I don't resist it as much anymore.
I think I'm more comfortable with the fact that this is just the, that's what Earth schoolis.
And so now that I don't resist it, I think that I'll have an easier time navigating thishuman experience moving forward.
Not that it will be easy and seamless, but I will.

(20:52):
resist it, which is what I think has led to a lot of suffering for me in the past.
And so I think writing and expressing and sharing is the way that I'm able to like add abalm to this experience for me.
Like because I've experienced such profound loneliness in my life, I feel like my, thingthat soothes me is being able to be in community with people, but not just like be around

(21:19):
people, but like be with people.
actually, where we can talk about the things that maybe we're we feel like we're notsupposed to say out loud, because that's what makes me feel less crazy.
That's what makes me feel like, okay, so we're all trying to figure out the same thing.
Like, this is your approach.
This is my approach.
Okay, we can cry together, we can alchemize together.
And that's those that's, that's what I mean about creating those spaces, those pockets oflike, belonging, where people can feel like

(21:48):
I get to talk about the fact that I'm figuring it out with other people who don't judgeme.
And that's where I feel like a conduit because I'm just now opening up a spiritual spaceand like a deep, profound space for all of us to mix and like transform our independent
individual energy into something bigger.

(22:09):
But then we all leave and we break away and we go back into our personal lives, but we'renot the same anymore because of.
that experience that we had, whether it was an hour or 30 minutes or whether it was in aliving room or on a podcast or I don't know, I have so many ideas for how it can manifest
in the future, but I think there's something very sacred about that.

(22:31):
And when I'm facilitating those moments, it's just me being a conduit for a spiritualexperience that we all get to have, but it does feel like God is present in those moments.
Yeah, I mean, if you know, know.
If you know, I think when you have utilized and appreciated and taken time to really...

(22:58):
hone in on the spiritual gifts that you have, because every single person does havespiritual gifts, but not all of us develop them or hone in on them or have time or
resources to do that work, because it does require a certain amount of space to be able toeven recognize that you have that gift, and it also requires support from community, it

(23:22):
requires time.
away, solitude, a lot of people are not even afforded the luxury of solitude.
So I think being able to have that and recognize what your gifts are and then not onlyjust recognize it but really develop it and flesh it out and practice it is a gift.

(23:51):
So I just love that you shared that and
I just want to get into your beautiful, beautiful book, which I love and I've read andhave bookmarked and dog eared and just been in love with.
Build it and they will come a guide to architecting intentional community.

(24:11):
And I have so many thoughts.
I would love for you to first give us just first of all, the title.
How did you come up with such a beautiful title?
because if I describe, if I use this, like just a few words to describe how I felt readingthis book, this was such, it was written with so much conviction.

(24:35):
Like I could hear the conviction in every single word that you wrote.
Every single sentence felt like it was coming from like the core of you.
And.
I think that's hard to do in writing sometimes because you just want to share a lot.
And this is also a guide, right?
It's not necessary.

(24:55):
It's it's part memoir in a way, but it is a guide.
So you do literally outline step by step how you can go about building community and notcommunity as in like just consumers, which has been commodified as, but actual community.
So if you could share.

(25:17):
how you even started this writing process, what inspired the title, and what was kind oflike the aha moment that you had to start writing this book.
So, build it and they will come is a phrase that I've heard over the years.
I think the first time I heard it was probably like in 2018.

(25:39):
I don't remember who told, I don't remember who said it.
I don't remember where I was, but I just remember that lingering in my mind.
And at the time I was in the early stages of forming Goddess Council and I was like, Ithink that's what's happening.
Like, I think that's what I'm doing right now.
And so it just always made sense and I was living it.

(26:01):
was like building it and the more and more and more women were arriving to the experience.
And I was like, yeah, I think that's as easy as it is.
I mean, it's not that it's easy, but like, if you see a gap in reality and you seesomething is missing in society, just find, create the solution and you'll see that people
were looking for it.

(26:22):
It's just, that's just the formula.
And then in terms of like writing the actual book and deciding I wanted to write the book,it was one of those impulses and those things that I felt like God was like, you're like,
as you find out in the book, I ended up having to close down goddess council and it wasdevastating.
It was embarrassing.

(26:43):
It felt a lot of shame.
I felt a lot of pain.
I was burnt out.
I was so confused.
I didn't know why I had to, I had to be that way.
And it felt like the only way I was going to be able to move through.
that period of time was to write about it and to document it and to like make sense ofwhat my life was.

(27:03):
And so that's what it was.
It became an opportunity for me to synthesize my pain and to alchemize for my pain.
I also think it's important to note that like I did not have a book deal before I startedwriting.
Only like a few people knew I was writing and this was a process for me first andforemost.
And I think that that's important to remember for people who are artists, because we livein a time where everything is commodified and everything is supposed to be like content

(27:33):
and everybody, everything is supposed to be a way, a means to an end to like, you know,grow your audience and do this and do that.
And when I think about my journey, it's like, I've obviously wanted people to find mywork, but it's really been so that they can connect with a body of work, not because I...
I've wanted to necessarily have like a massive platform.

(27:56):
And obviously I'm not gonna say that ego hasn't crept in where I'm like, okay, like Ithink what I'm saying is pretty cool.
And I think that people are looking for this.
I feel like there should be more people here that know that this is what I'm doing.
But for the most part, it's always been like, I want people to feel.
And so when I started writing the book, it was an opportunity for me to check myselfagain, to say,

(28:20):
Are you embarking on this project because you want people to just know that you're writinga book?
Or are you writing this and you're doing this because you have something to say becauseyour soul wants to heal from this moment and from this thing and because you want to make
sense of life.
And that's why I didn't tell many people I was writing it because I wanted it to be for meand I wanted it to be for my spirit and I wanted it to be an opportunity for me to connect

(28:42):
with God.
And so when I began writing the book, life kind of crashed again where I
got a divorce and I realized that like a lot of things in my personal life were out ofalignment.
And so then the book became even more important to me because it was the one thing I hadthat felt like my life was not in shambles.

(29:06):
know, like, goddess council went away, my marriage went away.
I ended up moving to Mexico City on my own because I just felt like had to just...
be in a new place.
I could not be anywhere that felt familiar because nothing made sense, but this idea madesense and this book made sense and this promise that I made to myself became the saving

(29:28):
grace that I had throughout my days because I would write.
My writing process was like a 4-30 to 8-30 or 4-30 to 9 in the morning process.
And then after that, was like my days were open and I was crying and I was trying to makesense of everything.
still very confused and lost, like there was something about knowing that I showed up fora few hours every morning to this project.

(29:52):
And again, I did not have a book deal.
Like I just knew that it would become something one day, but I didn't know how.
I just needed to do this for myself.
I needed to make sense of it so that I can close, I could close that chapter of my life,but come out of it with something like that was me like going, that was in the void.
And this book is what I came out of the void with.

(30:13):
like, if you could imagine like,
images of what the universe looks like, what the galaxies and all of that.
I kind of picture myself as a floating person in there who's taking away, gatheringinformation from all the stars and all of that energy and then I was zapped back into the
earth and here's what I came out with.
That's really what it felt like inside.

(30:34):
And that's the only way I can describe it because it really was this thing that I didn't,I can't really explain it.
I can't really explain what it felt like to be.
to be up at 5.30, but I was already writing for an hour in the dark and with my incenseand my dogs laying at my feet and drinking my tea and crying as I'm writing these words.

(30:57):
And maybe that's why that conviction came across because I was typing away at the computerwith this energy, this power, this sadness, this confusion, but also this clarity that was
coming to me the longer that I stayed at the keyboard.
And so...
The fact that it is a book that people are reading now is something that I'm like, I knewthat would happen one day, but I didn't know when.

(31:19):
I didn't know if it would happen in 2024.
I didn't know if it would happen in 2030.
I didn't know if I would like, you know, self publish.
I just knew I needed to have it out.
And there was something really important too about the fact that like I was about to turn30 years old and my birthday is on January 1st.
And it felt like just complete this manuscript so that you can leave this in yourtwenties.

(31:42):
because you're about to enter your thirties on the first of 2023, you're going to be, wasit 2023?
Yeah, you're going to be 30.
So like just, just really sit down and hone in and, and extract as much as you can fromwhat this past decade has been.
And that's what happened.

(32:02):
And so now everybody is experiencing this work that, you know, I've, I finished this book.
you know, in 2021.
I'm like, what are the years at this point?
Yeah, in 2021, it was when I finished the original manuscript.
And so now I'm being able to talk about it.

(32:23):
Now it's like a refined edited version.
you know, know that like it's published.
I got a publisher and it's now, you know, the full story.
But like when I started, I didn't know the full story.
I didn't know what it would become.
I didn't know how it would look.
I didn't know that was that's what the cover was going to be like.
I didn't know what the texture of the book was gonna be.
It was a Google Doc for years, and now it is a book that I really hope resonates withpeople because it's my spirit in there.

(32:52):
It does.
You did your big one.
I mean, it does.
It's so rich.
I just, really don't have words to describe it.
It's just so intentional and so detailed.
And it's detailed in a way that's not just like jargon because community is this, what'sit?

(33:19):
It's such a...
hot topic now for so many reasons, but I actually want to read a passage from your book onpage 19, if I may.
I just really deeply resonated with this section because it really describes what I thinkis the disconnect between actual community, which is what you're writing about, and then

(33:48):
the community that we see.
being commodified by brands, by organizations, corporations, and even within some of ournetworks are like the conferences we go to, the festivals, et cetera.
But I'm gonna read a section.
This is on page 19 in the chapter belonging.

(34:09):
And it says, Instagrammable conferences and pop-ups do not automatically equate tobelonging.
I cannot deny the pervasiveness of Instagram and online brands that have masteredmarketing aesthetics, pivoting their companies to hosting in-person events that are more
in-like in-person hubs for content creation.

(34:29):
After attending a few of these new AG events and conferences, it has become clear thatoftentimes so much focus is put into what these experiences will look like that
prioritizing the feeling guests will have becomes an afterthought.
This prevailing occurrence is draining and I am ready for it to be over.

(34:50):
Community and belonging are not a product you can sell.
It is not something that is simply pretty.
Community and belonging are experienced through our humanity first lens.
It is one of the most sacred languages of the soul.
That jumped out at me.
I literally highlight circled.
I was like, my God, talk about it.

(35:11):
And now that I have you here, I actually do want to talk about it in
unpack what that really means and
Just, yeah, take it away.
I would love for you to just sink deeper into that with us.
like for so long I felt like hello is anybody noticing that something about this is wrong?
I especially before 2020 like I was going to these places and I'm like this is cute Iguess but like I'm why do I feel like the all I did was just take pictures and I walked

(35:43):
away with freebies like you had an opportunity to really do something here the people arehere and you didn't do it and I don't know like I felt so alone in my critique because it
felt like everybody was
content with it, like it seemed like enough for everyone and I was just like, I know likesomething about this is off, but I don't have the money and the resources to make my own

(36:06):
experiences in that kind of, at that scale.
So I guess like, just, I won't be able to go to these anymore, like it was like almostthere, but like they just never nailed it.
But when you look at what it looked like when you got the recap online and when you knowthe photos came out it seems like everybody's just having such a great time and I'm like

(36:27):
It's like there's an invisibility here.
There's something that you can't take a picture of it's a feeling but people I guess areso used to it not being present that they don't even know how to point to the thing but
because I'm that's how I experience everything and all I do is try to feel and I getpeople to feel I'm like

(36:47):
yeah, people are not really like feeling.
They're just like experiencing imagery and like aesthetics and colors and it's beautiful.
Like people are doing a great job.
Like it's not to say that that's not important, but it's like there's something else here.
And I feel like people are kind of, I think people are ready for it.
I mean, I know I obviously it resonated with you.

(37:10):
Like I know I'm not the only one who's just like, all right, let's move on to likesomething else because this cannot be it.
You can't, there's no way that that's how we're allocating, you know, a hundred thousanddollar budget.
Like that's what, that's all we're getting from that.
Like we could do so much more.
We could change lives, like actually change lives and forge and open up spaces for peopleto forge relationships and connections that will change their lives.

(37:35):
And not just like, Hey, here's my business card.
I'm talking about changing people's lives where they walk away with new friendships,potential.
soulmates and I'm not even just saying romantic soulmates, I'm talking platonic soulmates,a conversation that will leave somebody feeling like they want to stay here.
They want to be here.

(37:56):
And I know that that's, that's like maybe really extreme, but I understand that a lot ofpeople are still are trying to navigate whether they want to be here on this planet.
And that's, that's as serious as it is.
If we're gonna like if we're gonna talk about it and the shows.
it.
you know, called Saddy Baddies.
Like, I am no stranger to having deep moments of like, I don't, like, I'm trying to makesense of why it's worth being here, because this place is so sad.

(38:27):
And that's another reason why I'm so committed to the work that I'm in, because when I wassix, seven, eight, nine, those were the things I was thinking about, because of the
circumstances of my childhood.
And I just was able to connect with that feeling with my therapist like last year where Ifinally said out loud, like, yeah, I was like seven years old, like thinking about life

(38:52):
and mortality and my existential and existentialism because of the profound sadness andloneliness that I felt.
so when I see brands and when I see companies co-opt this word community, when I talk,when I hear about belonging and all this stuff, I'm like, don't disrespect me by
by making it seem so simple because I know, I know what it feels like to not belong andI'm talking about it in the most real way.

(39:20):
And you keep trying to convince me that you have the solution to that thing that I know somany people feel and it is not that simple.
And it feels like you're playing in my face.
It feels like you're playing in my face and I don't know how much more of that I can takebefore I'm gonna explode and like, where do I even explode?

(39:40):
It's like screaming into the ether at this point, but that's why I felt like had to writethat in the book because I'm so annoyed.
I'm so annoyed.
We have to move on.
It has to progress because the stakes are high.
I don't have to tell people what's going on in the world at this point.
We're all trying to figure out how to stay here without losing our minds.

(40:03):
And the only way that we're going to be able to stay intact is by feeling each other andbeing committed to each other.
and that is not something that you can sell.
Really, it's an experience.
is something that like, the people who are creating those spaces and those opportunitiesreally have to give a fuck first before the people show up.

(40:25):
And that's what I want to do.
That's what I'm trying to do is create those feelings and those moments of like, somebodygave a fuck before you got here.
And that's why you get to, now that's why you feel safe enough to like really show up asyour real self and talk about the thing that you feel like you can't talk about with
anyone.
And so that way when you leave this place, you know you're not alone and you have areminder and there's a moment in reality that appeared to you that made you feel like,

(40:51):
okay, I'm gonna stay.
If we're gonna talk, like if I'm gonna be really real about why I do what I do, that'swhy.
I have chills.
Like I literally just I
I don't even know what to say.
I know, I know.

(41:11):
I'm like, I'm on the verge.
It's just so serious.
It's very real.
It is that serious and I think, you know, myself being somebody who is a communitybuilder, community leader, and have put people in spaces and healing circles and self-care

(41:35):
workshops and all of these different types of programming.
The programming and the format doesn't really matter.
It's about the intention and it's about who.
comes into the room, whether the room is virtual or whether the room is four walls and acouch.
When you have done that type of work of bringing people physically together and thenseeing how much people actually need that space, they need to be there so that they, like

(42:07):
you said, actually wanna stay here, you realize how dire the situation is.
You realize how high the stakes are.
And it's really nice to go to an event and get cued and have wine passed around to you inhors d'oeuvres and walk away with goodie bags.
That's so great.

(42:30):
It's really fun.
It's entertaining.
But in terms of addressing the very, very, very, very real and raw issues that people arewalking away with, it isn't scratch the surface.
And I agree that that is why you do what you do.
That is why I do what I do.

(42:50):
Because, you know, we can put it in a pretty package.
Like we can make it cute.
We can make an aesthetic, but it has to still hit home.
It needs to be deeper.
It has to be deeper.
And I really think that if more people realize the depth that they can go and

(43:12):
are okay with creating a space where that depth is welcome.
And depth is a concept that you write about in the book as well, right?
You talk about depth, you talk about bringing people together and not just, know, avoidingconversations about what do you do for a living?
What's your job title?
You talk about in your own practices, especially with leading goddess council, how youavoided conversation starters like that.

(43:40):
And you instead asked,
people to facilitate in a way the conversations about how your spirit is and what issomething that inspired you this week, right?
And from there, like you can just dig so much deeper and actually start to chip away atthat superficial kind of armor that a lot of us are wearing when we go into these spaces

(44:06):
because we wanna be accepted.
wanna, you know, we're being perceived.
We wanna be felt.
in a way that feels like, okay, maybe somebody will come up and talk to me because I lookcute, I have a cute outfit on, but beyond that, like what's beyond that?
So, I mean, you and I could literally talk about, I know this specific topic for hours,but I just really appreciate that you included such an important area in the book

(44:34):
dedicated to really confronting what community is and what it is not.
Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about that.
But I wanna also kind of skip ahead and talk about the way that you talk aboutsustainability and sustainability specifically for leaders and facilitators of

(45:01):
communities.
You have had a very...
vivid experience with burnout.
And I would love for you to share some of the ways that you navigated that burnout and youwere able to remedy the effects of burnout and continue the work that you do.

(45:35):
So I feel like I didn't, I wanted my burnout to just be over and I thought like, okay, ifI just like do this for a week, if I do this for two weeks, like I'll be better, I'll be
better.
And then I realized like that, the experience of extreme exhaustion that was like plaguingmy spirit, like my spirit was tired.

(45:59):
My spirit was at zero.
I had to just surrender to the fact that I didn't know when I was going to feel like Icould reemerge.
And I think it's just so interesting that I'm on this tour right now and I feel like I'mreemerging.
I've been in Mexico for two years now, mostly just on my own.
I didn't know anyone when I moved there.

(46:21):
And I spent a lot of time just walking around with my dog alone, with my journal, with abook, around people who did not know anything about me.
And I understand too that that is an immense privilege to, it's an immense privilege to beable to even do that because I had a savings, but I also like, I got into debt.

(46:44):
you know, I did all the things that I needed to do in order to extend myself theopportunity to keep just being in the medicine of it all.
Because I knew that if I cut it short, then I wasn't going to have like completed the fullcycle.
And
I also like for people who are into human design, I'm a manifestor human design type.

(47:05):
And I didn't know, but like, I didn't know this at the time when I first started, when Iexperienced Sprint Out.
But apparently manifestors typically like operate in like rest cycles.
So like, we're not supposed, we're initiators, but we're not supposed to sustain things.
Like we're supposed to initiate and then retreat, initiate and then retreat.

(47:26):
And I think that the way I was operating when I ran Goddess Council was more of agenerator human design type, where you get energy from doing the things you love.
And for me, I love the things that I love, but I also need to spend a lot of alone time inorder to recharge to do it again or to do more of it.
And so I went overboard with just not listening to myself for a long time, and that's whyI got to zero.

(47:52):
had I listened to myself earlier, I would have never gotten to that point of completedepletion.
But what was the question you asked me?
I'm like going down a whole rabbit hole of like, we're talking about like burnout,burnout, burnout, Yeah, that's what it was.
So I really had to like lean in.

(48:13):
And so for me, it was like a lot of time alone, eating regularly, meditating, journaling.
for those of you who are into like plant medicine and stuff, like I began to dabble intopsilocybin and like mushrooms as a way to open myself up to feeling feelings even deeper.

(48:34):
And so I was like microdosing throughout the process of writing as well.
And just like trying it all out, trying things that I'd never tried before, noticing howfood impacted me, noticing how caffeine impacted me or like how certain things like I
needed to do certain things that.
earlier parts of the day, not later.
Like everything is just like a balance.

(48:57):
It's all like a trial and error.
And that's what I did for many, many months paired with writing regularly to figure outwhat my equilibrium was.
And then, you know, a few wrenches got thrown into the mix.
Like I got my apartment got broken in too.
And I was in like, was exploring these situationships of men that like were notnecessarily helpful.

(49:18):
So.
It's not like it was all streamlined, you know, like I'm just a human trying to figure itout.
So I made some silly mistakes along the way, but as we do, but in the end, it all revealedthat what I needed to do was just like look inward for the answers.
You know, I went through a long period of just like no dating, celibacy, all the thingslike I'm just starting to dabble into dating like as of like a few weeks ago.

(49:48):
but I was celibate and embraced celibacy for a long period of time and alchemized fromthat like sacral energy to like just keep it off for myself, you know?
And now I'm like, okay, like what is pleasure?
Like, what does it mean to date and do this whole other thing?
But I had to remove myself from that for a while in order to recalibrate and to like justbe with myself in order to now be able to engage with romance in a way that feels like

(50:15):
solid.
So yeah.
I love that you mentioned celibacy and creativity because I think for those of us who arefamiliar with the chakra system and how it resonates with our entire body and our being,

(50:37):
for those who don't know, the sacral chakra is what is connected to both your sexualityand your creativity.
And so I've.
find it, I think it's, it honestly resonates that choosing celibacy and practicingcelibacy while you're in this hyper creative mode, it just, I'm sure.

(51:04):
as other people have also shared that it just heightens this creative focus.
Are you down to share a little bit more about how you realize and how that came to be whenyou made the choice to be celibate and how it impacted your creative process?

(51:29):
for sure.
mean, like, I thought, I always knew I was committed to writing this book.
And I woke up, I did the early morning wake ups and all that stuff.
And I was disciplined, but there was more.
There was even more that I had to unlock.
And it was, it particularly found me, like the moreness, I don't know how to say it, butlike the layers that I hadn't accessed were being asked of me.

(51:58):
when I had to edit the book because then I got assigned an editor.
And when I gave them my first manuscript, they were like, this is great, but we need youto go deeper.
And then I had somebody just give me a bunch of feedback and I then had to reimagine thebook, but not change the book, just go further into what I was thinking.

(52:20):
And I needed to access every bit of my time and my energy in order to do it again.
because it's like I wrote the manuscript once, but I needed to write it again.
I needed to go deeper into my stories.
Everything was like, well, what do you mean by that?
Tell me more about this.
Tell me more about that.
And like, I realized I didn't have the capacity to share any more of my time with anyonebut myself, my dog, and like the very, very core relationships that I had because I was at

(52:48):
the computer again for like six hours, seven hours, you know.
And I needed to preserve every ounce of that exchange that I was able to give to others todo it with myself and with what I had written.
And the more I did it, the more I was like, yeah, like I'm protecting this.
I'm protecting this.
I have way too much to lose.
Like now I'm on deadline.

(53:09):
Now I'm being held accountable to like my publisher and my editors.
Like I really, really need to lock in.
you know, it's just like months and months and months months months months months keptpassing.
And I'm like, yeah, I could keep going for a long time.
And it was just so beautiful to be able to like feel the recycling of the energy.

(53:30):
Like it never left me.
It just stayed inside.
Like all of the fire, all of the passion, I didn't exchange it with anyone.
It just stayed with me and with my practice.
And then eventually I became more open to new friendships and those types of friendshipscame in to my life and I was able to exchange a little bit more in that way.

(53:53):
And so all of it just kind of felt like the first priority is me and it's my ideas.
And that is never going to go away.
But I had to really lock into the preservation in order to be able to know what myboundaries are and what I am willing to give.
like, I needed to know what to give and when to give and also how to call it back and tobe able to say, no, this is now me time.

(54:18):
Like I, as I read about in the book, like I'm, I've kind of
always live my life from a place of wanting to share and give always, always.
And that's what led to my burnout.
Cause I didn't know when to say you've given enough and now it's time to give back toyourself.
And so the celibacy of that, that celibacy journey allowed me to be like, this is how youreclaim and how you learn how to be really, really confident and comfortable with keeping

(54:43):
it all for you and being selfish and being okay with being selfish because this projectand this idea deserves all of you.
Like that is your love.
right now, that is your lover right now.
That is who you will be giving your energy to.
And that is sacred and that is not something to be bargained.
And so now I've allowed that to happen and it's also clarified the way I decide that Iwanna engage in romance and the caliber of energy I require from somebody else in order

(55:17):
for me to even say like, okay, I give you permission to like even be in my orbit.
So it impacted everything, my romantic connection, with my friends, with the way I engagewith my family, with the way I engage with my practice.
It reset everything.
I encourage anybody who is single, who is an artist, to just explore that.

(55:39):
My celibacy journey went on a lot longer than maybe a lot of other people's, but I thinkthat even if you just do it for three months, you'll see a part of yourself that you would
have not been able to access had you
still been engaging with other energy.
And it is spiritual, like, not to bring it back to the spirituality piece, but like, itdoes feel like a very spiritual practice to not release with somebody else, to not share

(56:05):
that with anyone else, but instead to believe that it is like so sacred that it justbelongs with you for a period of time.
T T.
I one thing I love about a Capricorn woman, she like you cannot play with her like she isnot here for shits and giggles.

(56:28):
Don't play with her.
Okay, don't do it.
Absolutely not.
I just love the bar that you said about choosing a romantic partner that's even worthy ofbeing in your orbit.
like
Yeah.
That is so powerful.

(56:49):
And I honestly credit that to you, just knowing who you are as a person, knowing thedivine woman that you are, but also you knew the sacrifice, you already made the sacrifice
yourself.
you can require that level of like, that caliber already came from yourself.

(57:11):
So you can demand that.
You know I mean?
I think sometimes it's like,
I think in romantic relationships, we sometimes want somebody who is everything outside ofus, but like you already embodied that like, you already did the work.
So it's only right to parallel that with whoever your romantic partner is and has the thewhoever has the benefit and the honor of being in your orbit.

(57:44):
It is that deep.
It is that deep.
Yeah.
Because who you choose to be with, like, you do all of this work.
You go through this whole journey and you go into the void.
You're in and out of the void trying to figure out what you're doing here only to thenchoose a person to be next to you that hasn't even remotely been curious about that

(58:10):
journey for themselves or even worse, like, wants to...
you know, confuse you on your journey, throw wrenches into your journey or siphon yourenergy or like, you know, actually try to sabotage you because they're jealous of, of what
you've been able to do with your own, like hell no.
that, and that's not it.
And that, that's a whole other conversation that we, that we can have because I feel veryprotective of women.

(58:35):
I feel very protective of women's journeys and their lives.
I feel very
protective of like our destinies.
I feel very protective of like trying my very best to like illuminate and to awaken womento like the fact that they should also be very protective of themselves because like
they're here for a very, very, very important reason.

(58:58):
And that goes beyond having children and like, you know, creating life in like a, in ahuman way, but like just the impact that we're supposed to have here.
patriarchy and the energy of lot of men, unhealed men, is kind of set to take us off ofthat.

(59:18):
And when we are on our divine path, it impacts everything, everyone.
And so it is not something to be played with.
for a long time, I think sometimes I come across a woman who doesn't want women to love ordoesn't like men.

(59:39):
And it's like, it's not that.
Like I love love and I love romance, I love all of that, but it has to make sense.
It has to make sense.
It has to be the kind of love and romance that amplifies you.
It makes you more of what you already are.
It can't dim you.
And there are so many examples of women's light being dimmed and then they don't, you cansee it.

(01:00:03):
think so many of us have witnessed someone that we love, especially us women, we've seenour friends or people that we know like, they're fine when they're single and then they
get into a relationship with someone and it just like the light in their eyes just startsdimming little by little.
And you can literally see it.

(01:00:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
we definitely need to have a part two to this.
And we can like, it's gonna be spicy, but we can definitely do.
No, it will be but I think we need to take it there and we will definitely have a yeah, afollow up conversation because that is.

(01:00:48):
yeah, we can really get into it.
We can really get into it.
Thank you for sharing all of that though, just.
resonates very deeply and I think that
it needs to be said and needs to be said in a way that comes from a space of clarity thatyou also have and it's very evident that you're coming from a place of clarity.

(01:01:12):
It's not coming from a place of bitterness or malice or anything.
It is truly just the clarity that you've experienced by doing the work and having thatperiod of solitude that you had.
And there's a reason why people
when they wanna create their next album, right?

(01:01:33):
I'm also very curious about just artists in general when they kind of go into their cave.
I think about Frank Ocean or Solange Knowles.
When they're quiet, I'm like, they're probably working on something.
Or your favorite author.
A lot of times, creatives do need to have that solitude and that space so that they can...

(01:01:56):
really just laser in and focus.
And so I think this is just also just like a love letter to creatives and artists to likeprotect your art, protect your work because it lives outside of you as well.
As much as it is like in your head and in your heart, it's also like very much a connectedexperience that artists and creatives share.

(01:02:22):
So thank you for sharing that so much, Cat.
One thing I really want to end with in this conversation is I really love the way that youwrote about your Weyla and I love hearing how she was such a community builder in her own
way and she is very much so I know a big part of your journey.

(01:02:47):
You and your Weyla are very close as well as the other matriarchs in your family but
that resonated with me because I thought about my own mother and how she is like, if youknow Miss Abigail, you know her.
Like you just know she has probably cooked for you.
She's probably braided your hair because she's a cosmetologist.
She she's done a lot for a lot of people.

(01:03:09):
OK.
And like when you were writing about the women in your family that have shown up at thehospitals, have like been there when someone gives birth, has have been there to just like
all of the gaps that we we have in our communities.
there are people, and my mom uses the word people who like intercede on your behalf.

(01:03:31):
And I think we should talk more about that.
And I would love to know if you could rewrite or reimagine the way that us likemillennials, Gen Z, like our generations, how can we start to embody and practice some of
the ways that our elders practice community?

(01:03:52):
What would that look like for you?
I love thinking about this.
I mean the thing is it's like We cannot deny that our society is different than it used tobe right so I Understand that the way our elders showed up was during the time that is not
what it is now And also like the pressures of capitalism are no joke like People are undera lot of pressure and a lot of folks are like barely making it but that is precisely why

(01:04:21):
we need each other even more because
we don't need to be doing this alone.
Something I've been thinking a lot about is just disrupting the schedule, disrupting the,I start work at this time, I come home at this time, or I close out my day at this time, I
do this, this, this, and then I go to sleep.

(01:04:41):
Actually, try to open up some space to see what else you can be doing.
Maybe it won't be a cookie cutter schedule, but can you go make a meal with one of yourfriends?
Can you, is there somebody that needs a visit right now?
Is there a call that you can make to just check in and ask that person if they needsomething and if they say they do need something, will you actually make it happen?

(01:05:05):
You know, like, I don't know, like inconvenience has such a negative connotation, but I'vebeen thinking a lot about like, well, what does it mean to inconvenience yourself out of
love for somebody?
You know, like, yes, like, did you wanna maybe just sit and watch a movie?
or just like not do anything, yes, but like if you instead for the next hour went and didsomething for somebody that really, really impacted the way that their week, month, that

(01:05:32):
whatever moment will feel, is it not worth it?
Because you can still come back home and watch the movie, but you just did somethingreally important that is gonna be an unforgettable moment for somebody else that just
deepened their ability to trust you.
And it made them feel less alone in the world.
Is it not worth it to do that?
And I know like physical distance is a thing like maybe we don't live around the peoplethat we love but like I don't know there's just so many ways to kind of get around that

(01:06:00):
too like you can send somebody food you can you know you I don't know everybody has theirown you know life that they're living and it looks different for all of us, but I Think
that's what my grandma does so well, but she doesn't even look at it as an inconvenienceIt is like a duty for her and so that is really
what I want to embody.

(01:06:22):
It's a duty for me to show up for the people that I love because that's what it means tobe in community and in relationship.
1000%.
We talked about this at your book talk at Cafe Con Libros and I just wanted to share thatagain, like bring up that topic piece because I think right now we are definitely in a

(01:06:49):
very individualistic era when it comes to our social fabric and a lot of people are alsokind of
misusing therapy and therapy speak as a way to create these like very like rigid ways ofbeing.
think wellness and self care, mental health have also been commodified in so many ways,but I think one of the negative impacts is now people are like, well, I don't have the

(01:07:21):
bandwidth for that or I.
you know, I have a boundary with this and I can't do this.
It's like, if you are constantly missing out on people's biggest moments, or if you areconstantly letting down people that need you, you are not being a good friend.
You're not being someone who was in community with other people.

(01:07:43):
Being in community is not about just all wearing the same designer, or going to the sameparty, or being invited to the same whatever.
opening of a restaurant or bar or whatever the palette is, it genuinely does sometimesrequire inconvenience.
And I think that's the thing that's missing is that nobody wants to be inconvenienced.

(01:08:04):
Everybody wants to be catered to.
And sometimes we forget that it is okay to put yourself first, it is okay to prioritizeyour mental health as you should, right?
However, if you are constantly just not showing up for the people that
need you and that you will need as well because it's not just a one way street.

(01:08:26):
You know, what are you doing?
So I just I just think that, you know, we we have to remember that we do not we do notlive in silos.
We don't live in these like bubbles.
I know that COVID did a number on us and really made us feel like we do live in a bubble.
But we saw how much people were desperate for community.

(01:08:51):
at the height of COVID.
We saw, we witnessed it, we felt it.
A lot of us lost so many people that we love.
And then we all kind of went back to normal.
I think that's why everything feels fucking weird right now.
I think that's why we're seeing people crash out all the time and spiral and feel,celebrities included, because we're just like, we never addressed this.

(01:09:16):
And then the pieces that fell apart,
Nobody wants to pick them up.
Everyone just wants to keep moving and like not look people in the eye, not ask someone,how are you?
You know, your friend texts you, hey, I'm not feeling well.
sorry, hope you feel better.
And then that's it.
You never say like, hey, like I'm around.
Do you want me to come by?
Like, I'm going to Trader Joe's.
Do you need anything?

(01:09:36):
Cause you know damn well you probably are.
Like you can do that.
You can.
You can.
Yeah.
if for whatever reason you can't physically go drop it off, you can schedule that to getdelivered.
And if you do use a service like that, make sure to tip your delivery person well.
But come on, like, I think it's all of those things and to the point of what you said,because you want them to do it for you, right?

(01:10:04):
So you don't want to be inconvenienced, but if there's an inconvenience.
that happens in your own life and you want somebody to help you, do you not think thatthey would rather be chilling than to be trying to sit, you know, yeah, but they love you.
They want you to be better.
They want your life to be a little easier.
So of course they're gonna show up for you.
So, but you wouldn't do it.

(01:10:24):
That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, I mean, we could literally have a whole conversation about the loneliness epidemicand really what's at the root of it.
And I think a lot of people are finding that they have someone to, they have people maybethat they can invite to birthday or a wedding or a baby shower, but then when they're sick

(01:10:45):
or they're going through a breakup or they're going through something like they'regetting, they've been laid off, they actually have no one to turn to.
And that's scary.
That's really scary.
Yeah, well, I just wanna say thank you for this beautiful, incredible, and just likemultifaceted conversation.

(01:11:09):
I want to end with a rapid fire, of course, and just share my just gratitude for you beinghere again.
I really, really appreciate you.
And this was such a enlightening convo.
So thank you again.
so enriching.
As it always is, anytime I have a conversation with you, it's like we need more and moreand more conversations, because we didn't even get to the, we just scratched the surface.

(01:11:37):
We literally just scratched the surface.
yeah, part two soon come, soon come.
But we will get into the rapid fire.
Are you ready?
Okay, so first question, hardcover or paperback?
paperback.
Hmm.
I love a paperback.

(01:11:58):
I think I already know the answer to this, but early morning sessions for writing or latenight.
early morning.
Yeah.
If you could give one piece of advice to new writers or soon to be authors, what would itbe?

(01:12:19):
Stop making excuses.
Just do it.
Very Capricorn of me.
I love that's what I'm saying.
Don't play around
Sorry.
Mexico City, Miami, or New York?

(01:12:44):
No!
actually, let me make it a little bit more robust.
Okay.
F, Mary Kill, Mexico City, Miami or New York.
I would, my god, would fuck Mexico City, would marry New York, and would kill Miami.

(01:13:11):
Everybody may be listening to this right now is like,
Including my mother, my sister, my niece.
my god, I have my own thoughts and literally I'm over here like, maybe I'm gonna bestudying more to have Miami next year.
I do think Miami's great in some ways, but I am a very, I'm a disciplined, sit down andget shit done kind of person and New York is that.

(01:13:39):
Miami is like, rest the relaxation and show up to everything late.
And Mexico City is like, my god, I've found myself here.
yeah.
It's completely different, but like, yeah, my energy type is very much like, you know,about the fucking table with my hands crossed, like, what are we doing today?
And Miami is like the opposite of that.

(01:14:03):
Yikes.
Sorry.
hilarious.
Last question.
Build something from scratch or innovate something that's already existing.
I'm gonna build something from scratch.
Yeah.
Manifest.
We love it.
Cat, my friend, thank you so, so, so, so much for being here.

(01:14:25):
This is beautiful.
This is long overdue, but also Loki at the perfect time.
I don't think there was a better time to have this conversation.
If you are interested in learning how to build an architect,
Intentional community, please get Cat's book, Build It In They Were Come.

(01:14:47):
It is available on Amazon, I believe, on your website.
Target.
Yeah.
And you can also, if you are near an independent bookstore, feel free to go in there andspecial order it through them.
The book is available through the distributors that they all use.
So like, I would also really encourage you to just pop into your local bookstore and havethem order it and go pick it up at the store when it's available.

(01:15:14):
Amazing.
Everybody needs to read this book, especially, especially, especially people who areworking closely with other people.
Not just people who are, you know, working as community managers or people who are in theindustry of the community space.
But genuinely, if you work with anybody, if you are a health care professional, or if youare someone who facilitates gatherings with people, if you work with people with special

(01:15:40):
needs,
If you are just somebody who wants to deepen your human connection, and also findbelonging through those connections, I highly, highly, highly, highly, highly recommend
that you pick this up.
This belongs on everybody's desk, okay?
There's some people that I'm like, I need to see this on your desk before you say anythingelse, because you just, you did that.

(01:16:04):
You did that, girl.
I'm so proud of you.
Beautiful.
This is a masterpiece.
Please, please tell us how we can stay connected and see what your next projects are.
Also just see and live vicariously in your life in Mexico City.
Just all the things.

(01:16:24):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram.
My handle is Cat.Lantigua.
I have about 130 or 120 episodes on my podcast, Chats with Cat.
I'm going to be back on there as soon as I get back home to Mexico next week.
What else?
I'm on TikTok, La Jefa Cat.
I also have a backup page, KatLantigua.

(01:16:46):
Website, katlantigua.com.
What else?
Substack.
I have a Substack, the bounce back.
It's a newsletter dedicated to bouncing back from our flop eras.
So that's cool.
Yeah, I think that's, there are other places I'm sure, but I can't remember.
Your other newsletter 11 were you 11 of your favorites?

(01:17:10):
Yes.
We love it.
one has been on hiatus for a while.
It's just like I'm a one man or one woman show right now.
I'm manifesting the opportunity to have people to help.
That way I can like do all the things at the same time.
But that will be coming back very, very soon.
By the end of the year, there will be at least one woman.

(01:17:30):
cannot wait to see all the beautiful things that you continue to create and also just yourevolution as a woman.
It's inspiring as fuck.
So thank you again for being here.
So much love to you.
I love you and I appreciate you.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
Thank you for existing.
Thank you for being you and for creating this space for us.

(01:17:50):
I you.

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