June 20, 2022 • 30 mins
Co-hosts Erin and Jade are joined by Environmental Professional, Writer, Speaker, and Trekkie, Sithara Fernando, who shares her journey of finding herself and happiness within. During the discussion, she shares the power of stories to shape how we see and engage with the world around us.
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Episode Transcript
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Sithara (she/her) (00:00):
I know we're right at the top of our podcast , but I'm already
going to throw in a Star Trek reference.
Jade (they/them) (00:05):
I'm always here for a Star Trek reference.
Sithara (she/her) (00:07):
Fantastic.
You'll love it.
Jade (they/them) (00:10):
I'm Jade Pichette.
They/Them.
Erin (she/her) (00:12):
And I'm Erin Davis and I use the pronouns she and her.
Jade (they/them) (00:16):
Welcome to Uncovering Belonging,
Erin (she/her) (00:18):
a podcast that explores the professional and personal stories of
unique voices of what it means to belong
Jade (they/them) (00:23):
and the journey to finding our authentic self.
Sithara (she/her) (00:28):
Erin are you a Star Trek fan?
Erin (she/her) (00:30):
Um, So I've, I've already made a note that I'm
going to need to do some homework
Sithara (she/her) (00:37):
You'll love it.
Erin (she/her) (00:38):
It is my pleasure to introduce my friend and Star Trek,
fan Sithara Fernando, she/her.
Sithara has her MBA and RPF, andis currently the Academic Program
Manager at NorQuest college.
And is the recipient of the CouncilCommendation Wildlife Metal, the
YMM Magazine, Top 50 Under 50.
(00:59):
And EDify's Top 40 Under 40.
Sithara has supported the Pride Centerof Edmonton in multiple roles . She
is a passionate advocate and oneday hopes to write a book about all
her experiences I would also like toprovide our listeners with a content
note (01:15):
throughout the conversation, Sithara shares experiences of suicidal
ideation post-traumatic stressdisorder, anxiety, and depression.
We encourage you to take a quickpause and check in with yourself
so that you can decide whether thiscontent is what you can engage with
today, or listen at another time.
Sithara (she/her) (01:35):
On Star Trek.
There's a character named Worf.
He's played by a Black actor, MichaelDorn, and he is part of the crew of
the Enterprise, but he's a Klingon, andit's always interesting to see how that
character interacts with the rest ofthe crew, cuz he's part of that crew,
but he's also a little bit separatedand I remember watching star Trek
and sort of like understanding that.
Jade (they/them) (01:55):
I always found
myself resonating with Data.
Sithara (she/her) (01:57):
Oh, yep.
Jade (they/them) (01:58):
And also this outsider part of, but not fully
part of which now I understand isbecause I'm autistic, which is why I
resonated so much because this Androidis autistically coded in some ways.
Sithara (she/her) (02:10):
Jade, "A Measure of a Man," Season Two, I'm gonna get
the episode number wrong, is one oflike, probably my all time favorite
episodes, which is all about Data.
Jade (they/them) (02:19):
I think it's really interesting how the characters we
connect with, especially when wedon't see ourselves represented in
media, says a lot about a person.
Sithara (she/her) (02:29):
Absolutely.
Jade (they/them) (02:30):
So as a person who relates to Worf, I wanna know your
personal story and how you got into theequity, diversity and inclusion space.
Sithara (she/her) (02:40):
The way I got into this work is this is my life.
I'm a person of color and a queer person,a lesbian, and my parents immigrated
here in 1981 and settled in Edmonton.
And when you are children ofimmigrants or sort of forging a new
identity, that's not mainstream, youend up existing in this corridor.
That is not, you know, I don't reallyhave a place to go back home, quote
(03:03):
unquote, but I also don't quite fit inwhere I am, which is really interesting
because what ends up happening is youend up moving through your own personal
identity in ways that for me wereunhealthy or not super helpful for my life
Jade (they/them) (03:21):
mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (03:22):
and I have struggled.
I really, really struggledto come out of the closet.
I really struggled with my identity.
I really struggled, sort of adaptingto the Caucasian culture around
me, where I really didn't fit.
Didn't feel like I was a part of that.
And in high school, my parentswanted us to go to a private school,
(03:42):
which ended up being a Christianprivate school and the views.
There were very, very much, I'mnot gonna say, well, you know what?
I am gonna say it, they're pretty extremeand it's pretty black and white in terms
of who's going to heaven and who's goingto hell and what happens and what doesn't.
From that place, I adopted this ideathat if I pretend hard enough to be
(04:04):
straight, if I push my own culture,my Sri Lankan culture aside, if
I pretend hard enough to be all ofthese things that I'm supposed to
be, I can, I can be those things.
I can become a quoteunquote, "normal person".
Jade (they/them) (04:19):
Mm.
Sithara (she/her) (04:19):
And so I basically took that internalized it and went
through a lot of my university years intothe early part of my professional life.
Being somebody that I absolutely wasn't.
Erin (she/her) (04:32):
Hmm.
Sithara (she/her) (04:32):
And thinking that if I get a degree and then if I get
a nice car and if I buy a house andget the job and sort of tick off
all of these boxes that eventuallyI would arrive at happiness and.
It never happened.
And the reason it neverhappened is because I never
put myself in that equation.
Erin (she/her) (04:52):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (04:53):
I put things, I put achievements, I put boxes that I
needed to check off into that equation.
Jade (they/them) (05:00):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (05:00):
And in 2016, so I was living in Fort McMurray
and there was a wildfire.
We all had to evacuate our town and hugething on the news, all of those things.
But I remember driving andI had come home from work.
Grabbed my dog and my cat, and afew things from my home and headed,
uh, south to Edmonton and like80,000 people were evacuating.
(05:20):
So it took 12 hours.
And during that drive, I thoughtmy house had burned down.
It didn't burn down, but I thoughtit had burned down and all of
the pieces that I had worked for.
All of the stuff that I had accumulatedwas gone or I thought was gone.
And I just couldn't take that.
And this very carefully craftedsort of fake world of happiness
(05:42):
and things and being somebody thatI'm not was essentially ripped out.
And in that moment, I realized howprofoundly lonely I was and how
difficult I had made things for myselfby not being the person that I am.
Jade (they/them) (05:57):
Ah,
Sithara (she/her) (05:57):
and what followed.
That was essentially a whole bunch ofmonths of just really, really trying to.
And, um, and I think this isprobably one of the one, one of the
things is that I wish I would'vereached out for help earlier.
But when I went back to Fort McMurray,after the fire, I really doubled down.
(06:17):
I said, you know what?
If I try hard enough, if I lieenough, if I pretend enough,
I like this is a me problem.
I can fix this.
I, I can put all of the effort in.
And then what followed was post traumaticstress disorder, depression, anxiety.
and eventually it culminatedin, um, some suicidal ideation.
Jade (they/them) (06:37):
Mm.
Sithara (she/her) (06:37):
And you know, it is one of those moments where, and
I think this is probably one of themost in things about mental illness
is that it is not one big event.
Jade (they/them) (06:48):
No,
Sithara (she/her) (06:49):
it is a series of these small little pieces that just
stack up over time and undoing thedamage that I had done to myself.
I will say a monumental task,but it's not that I, all of
a sudden said, you know what?
I'm gonna come out of the closetand everything's going to be fine.
Erin (she/her) (07:07):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (07:07):
That's not how it worked, but it is recognizing that
I did not want to be lonely anymore.
Jade (they/them) (07:14):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (07:15):
And the way I got into this work was essentially recognizing
that my story is not unique in any way,shape or form that depression and anxiety
and posttraumatic stress disorder inthe queer community is a huge problem.
And that these arethings that kill people.
Depression kills people.
Right?
Erin (she/her) (07:35):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (07:35):
You get to a point where you are no longer yourself and you
are no longer thinking about all of thethings that could be, and you're stuck
in all of the stuff that's not working.
And so part of getting into this work wasone, recognizing that I was profoundly
unhappy at my current role to recognizingthat one of the things I like doing is
(07:57):
teaching people and talking and writing.
And I'm comfortable discussingthese things, right?
Jade (they/them) (08:05):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (08:05):
And so part of the reason I got in, into
this work is because I think morepeople need to hear about this.
And I think when people recognize that ifyou don't look like the majority, if you
are feeling like you're on the outside,If you are part of a marginalized group,
if you exist on the fringes, you have torecognize that in a lot of ways, society
(08:27):
was not built for people who don't fita certain mold and Canadian society in
the nineties was really white centered.
Erin (she/her) (08:34):
Totally
Sithara (she/her) (08:35):
Even looking at things like pop culture - like
the TV show "Friends" isproblematic in so many, many ways,
Jade (they/them) (08:42):
so many,
Sithara (she/her) (08:43):
But was something that, that, that people just really,
really clung onto and thought thisis the pinnacle of television.
And so people need examples.
Erin (she/her) (08:51):
Exactly.
Sithara (she/her) (08:51):
People need examples of people who can come out
and say, look, a world is not perfect.
However, it's not horribleand you're not alone.
And this work makes me feellike I belong because I know.
That I'm no longer lonely.
Jade (they/them) (09:05):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (09:05):
And it's not about having a spouse or
finding a spouse or getting awife or coming out of the closet.
It's about being okay with who I amand being happy with who I am and not
trying to impress other people or evenlook for happiness outside of myself.
It's understanding that I build myown sort of happiness within myself,
(09:26):
and I can make decisions around that.
And I'm incredibly proud of the workthat I've done since essentially early
2017, with both in my mental health andmy personal life and my professional
life to really put myself in the center.
Of my life and my true self, notaffect of who I think I should be not
fulfilling somebody else's expectations,but asking myself what are the things
(09:49):
that make me happy and how do I do.
Jade (they/them) (09:53):
You know, there's so much power in what you just shared.
And as somebody also, who haslived with PTSD, suicidal ideation,
anxiety, depression, I can resonate incertain ways and empathize in others.
And sometimes people don't realize that.
Sometimes the reason we get into thiswork is almost a matter of survival
(10:14):
for ourselves, for seeing ourselves,for being seen by others, that we
wish to see us and truly see us.
And I think this will resonate a lotwith some of our listeners, especially
seeing, as I find at Pride at WorkCanada events, we'll wind up with
quite a number of people who come.
Are not out where sometimes thisis the only space that they're
(10:37):
able to engage with, who they are.
And it is that role modeling.
It's that connection.
It's that vulnerability thatmakes people feel not alone.
So I wanna pass it over to Erin.
Erin (she/her) (10:48):
Yeah.
Thanks Jade.
You know, I wanna take a moment tosort of recognize some of what you've
just said, Sithara, because it's notuntil you were truly finding yourself
that you're able to really thrive.
And I do think not everyonenecessarily gets there and it's not.
So thank you for sharing your journey.
Sithara (she/her) (11:05):
Oh, thanks guys.
Erin (she/her) (11:06):
As you do this work around equity, diversity and inclusion.
What have been some ofthe barriers for you?
Sithara (she/her) (11:10):
So the barriers I see is that we don't recognize
the impact of our fundamentalworldviews on the world, around us.
Erin (she/her) (11:20):
Hmm.
Sithara (she/her) (11:20):
And I had the privilege of working and living in Fort Chipewyan,
which is an Indigenous community.
And that experience changed my life.
I remember talking to one of theElders and she told me the story
of Sky Woman, which is the originstory of Turtle Island, which
is where we currently reside.
Erin (she/her) (11:42):
Hi, it's Erin.
And I'm recording this after the factbefore Satara shares this Chipewyan
version of the story of the Sky Woman.
We'd like to disclose that weconfirmed with Sithara, that she
shares the story with the consentof Alice Rigney, Elder with the The
Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation.
This story was conveyed to Sitharawith the obligation of sharing
and respecting this knowledge, asit applies to Sithara's journey.
(12:06):
This story is one of many differentorigin stories held by Indigenous
peoples here on Turtle I sland.
We encourage you to listen andlearn from Indigenous Elders
in the territory you are on.
Sithara (she/her) (12:20):
And so Sky Woman falls from sky world and she comes
down and the geese cushion her fall.
The turtle allows her to sit on her backthe animals around her, bring a whole
bunch of things to support her and assist.
And then there's the Christian originstory of Adam and Eve where a mistake
(12:42):
gets made and they get pushed out ofparadise into this world to do what
they need to do and live their lives.
And the reality is even if you'rereligious or not religious, we are
affected by these fundamental world views.
One sees this place as a place ofbelonging as a place of abundance as a
(13:03):
place where the world is going to provide,and you have a responsibility to it.
The other sees this place as a waitingroom to paradise, where there are
dangers, there are things that can happen.
This is not a safe place.
And so when we have discussions aboutthings like using pronouns in people's
(13:23):
work signatures, or adding an extrabox to forms where someone can identify
whatever their identity is, or justremoving that question, altogether.
You see, people get really upset aboutthat because they feel either entitled
to having a world that's less confusingor being part of something that belonged
(13:44):
to them and is now getting taken away.
Erin (she/her) (13:47):
Oh yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (13:47):
And so if you look around and say, you know what,
none of this actually belongs to me.
I am a part of this and I havea responsibility towards it.
All of a sudden, somebody usingpronouns, somebody deciding that they
are going to create their own identity.
Isn't threatening.
It's an evolution of theabundance that exists around us.
Erin (she/her) (14:09):
Absolutely.
Sithara (she/her) (14:10):
And, when you come to engaging employers, what has worked well
for me and dealing with the barriers isyou have to recognize, we don't need to
continue to drive and drive and drivefor external validation, whether that's
sales or in my case, numbers of students,what we need to do is make sure that
(14:30):
every person in our workplace feelssafe and comfortable being themselves.
Erin (she/her) (14:36):
Absolutely.
Sithara (she/her) (14:37):
Our vision, mission goals, whatever you want to talk about,
however you wanna put that comes froma place of abundance and comes from
a place where as a employer you arelooking at, this is the work we can do.
Right?
Erin (she/her) (14:50):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (14:51):
And the amazing thing about this is that when you let go of
trying to be the best in a single metricand start to pay attention to yourself and
the things you want, the results follow.
Erin (she/her) (15:04):
Wow, you are articulating for me something that I've been personally
thinking a lot about why aren't weall going back to this way of being,
and having that mindset of abundanceand that everything we have is here.
And the other piece that I think isgonna be so relevant for our audience is
how we can get lost in the very strictways that we think about business.
Jade (they/them) (15:27):
Definitely.
Erin (she/her) (15:28):
And if we can wrap our heads around this idea, Of belonging
and maybe it doesn't have to be aquantitative number every single time,
but it can actually be a qualitative one,
Jade (they/them) (15:40):
definitely that
Erin (she/her) (15:40):
like when we feel as human beings and someone can share
that story of belonging when they cometo work and say that every part of me
matters, it's not the part of me thatshows up from eight to five that does
all the work and meets all the metrics.
Then I think we've actuallyunlocked a better world.
Sithara (she/her) (15:59):
Absolutely.
Jade (they/them) (16:00):
Yeah.
I also wanna echo Erin's commentsabout the importance of going
back to that abundance mentality.
And I want to talk more about whatthat could look like, you know, how
could that impact the work that we do?
How are we gonna get there?
And do you have any thoughts
on that?
Sithara (she/her) (16:19):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
I see the future being more inclusive.
And when I say more inclusive, what Imean is that every part of my life is a
reflection of the world around me is areflection of the diversity around me.
And so it's not this thing where thereare equity and diversity and inclusion
statements, and maybe that's wherepeople start, but that's not end.
(16:42):
It is a continuous improvementof understanding what the
world is asking of us.
And the world is asking for us to listen.
Erin (she/her) (16:52):
Yes.
Sithara (she/her) (16:52):
To listen to the people around.
To listen to the environment around usand all of the stuff that comes with that.
Now these are all very sort of ephemeralideas in terms of a more concrete example.
So I work at a community collegeand it is really interesting to see
where education has gone from thetime that I was in university to.
(17:17):
It used to be like, I remember goingand memorizing Latin names of trees
and trying to cram all this stuffinto your brain and then regurgitating
that onto a sheet of paper.
Now, the information isavailable all the time and the
critical skills students need.
The critical skills.
All of us need is the ability todisseminate good information from bad.
(17:37):
And to take that large amount ofinformation and deliver it in a
way that makes sense to people.
Jade (they/them) (17:46):
We are
definitely in this place where it's aboutdeciding where the good information is.
And it's definitely abigger challenge than usual.
I mean, we've seen how that has.
Done a lot of harm in termsof vaccination, in terms of
disinformation and intentionalmisinformation is a real serious issue.
And I wanna give a shout out toanother podcast being Science Vs,
(18:10):
they actually made the decision latelyto focus on doing disinformation and
misinformation and uncovering that.
So I love that you bring that upbecause I think for us to reach.
True future.
We also need to be able to accessgood information and that good
information is stuff that has tobe connected to different people.
(18:30):
Cause I feel like we're gettingmore disconnected in some ways as
we become more connected in others.
Sithara (she/her) (18:36):
Absolutely.
And I think one of the things is that wealso get more disconnected from ourselves.
Jade (they/them) (18:41):
Definitely.
Sithara (she/her) (18:42):
There is a ton of information out there that tells people.
You need to look a certain way oryou need to be a certain way, or you
get your Instagram likes or whatever,or your TikTok followers and all of
a sudden, that's the thing you wantto be, but that's not who you are.
Jade (they/them) (18:59):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (18:59):
And so part of this disinformation misinformation is finding
that piece inside of yourself thatsays, you know, something doesn't quite
seem right about this and listening to.
And as we get more and more disconnectedfrom sort of reality and what is
correct, and what's incorrect and thattype of stuff, you lose your internal
(19:20):
confidence to really critically lookat what it is that is out there and
what it is that makes you, who you are.
So part of working towards a moreinclusive world, a more focused world
is recognizing where we come from, butalso recognizing that you are you right?
Jade (they/them) (19:40):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (19:41):
And so the world that we're working towards and the future
where we see ourselves in our communitiesis one where people are free to not only
make decisions, but also make mistakes.
Significant ways and recover.
Jade (they/them) (19:54):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (19:55):
Um, coming back to one of the things we mentioned,
sort of at the top of the podcastwas I used to live in Fort McMurray
and I had a really great job.
It's a beautiful place, right inthe middle of the boreal forest,
I was making really great money.
And my girlfriend at the time, now mywife had moved up with me and we were
sort of starting to build our life there.
But one of the things we recognizedis that even though there is
(20:17):
a small, very devoted queercommunity there it's a difficult
place to be a queer person, right?
Jade (they/them) (20:23):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (20:24):
and part of doing this work and being out and being
somebody who talks about this stuffis making the decision of where
can I set myself up for success.
And sometimes that means makingreally, really difficult decisions.
Like I had to foreclose on myhome in Fort McMurray to enable
ourselves to move to Edmonton.
And it was a heartbreaking decision, butit was the right decision and it was an
(20:50):
empowering decision to choose to moveforward, going in a different direction.
Erin (she/her) (20:55):
I hear that
Sithara (she/her) (20:56):
I'm, I'm going to use another Indigenous
metaphor for the future state.
Sweetgrass.
The braid of Sweetgrass is indifferent Indigenous communities
has different significance.
Now when somebody braids theirhair, you always have three strands.
So if you sort of imaginethis as there is you.
There's your community andthere's the world around you.
Jade (they/them) (21:18):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (21:19):
and you are trying to braid that together.
Now, a good braid needs three even parts.
If one part is larger thanthe other, it's unbalanced.
The other thing is a good braidneeds a little bit attention or in
my mom's case, a lot of tension.
So you do have to pull a bit and itcan be uncomfortable and it can be to
(21:40):
the point where it hurts a little bit.
But what you're doing is you're buildingthis foundation that once you let go.
It stays
Erin (she/her) (21:48):
Uhhuh.
Sithara (she/her) (21:49):
And so our future state is to look at our lives and
try and understand what are our threeor two or whatever, but what are our
fundamental building blocks and whowe are as people and what we want our
world around us to look like, and thenrecognize that tension has to be there.
Jade (they/them) (22:07):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (22:08):
Through my mental health journey, I remember
reading about different folkswho had come out of the closet.
And there was a story about awoman in her sixties who was
in a male, female marriage.
Um, had kids always knew she was alesbian, just tried like the same path
that I was on was checking off the boxes.
Right.
Find a husband, get married,do this and do that.
(22:30):
And then had a mentalbreakdown in her sixties.
And I remember one of the thingsshe said that really struck me was
that the energy doesn't disappear.
You either have to do the hard thingat the beginning and come out of the
closet or you have to deal with thehard thing at the end or throughout.
Right.
Jade (they/them) (22:48):
Definitely that.
Sithara (she/her) (22:49):
And so it's not like that tension all of a sudden
you avoid it and it comes back.
Jade (they/them) (22:55):
Right?
Sithara (she/her) (22:55):
And so part of that is, as Brené Brown says, putting on your armor
and understanding that, you know what, I'mgonna move forward in a way that serves
me in a way that serves my community andin a way that serves the world around me.
Jade (they/them) (23:11):
Thank you.
That was, I feel very, very appropriate interms of getting to the close for podcast.
I want to shout out to the comment thatyou made in terms of braiding and sweet
grass and mention to our listeners thatthey should check out Towards Braiding
by Elwood, Jimmy, Vanessa Andreotti andSharon Stein who put together a really
(23:34):
important book to talk about that concept.
And it's available online for free.
We'll have the, uh, message in thenotes in terms of how to get there.
And And so thank you so much.
This has been such a great discussion,but before we close, we have
the rapid fire question round.
Sithara (she/her) (23:52):
Fantastic.
Jade (they/them) (23:53):
So are you ready to go?
Sithara (she/her) (23:54):
Absolutely.
Let's do this.
I promise they won't all be Star Trek
related, but
Jade (they/them) (23:58):
I'm disappointed then
Erin (she/her) (24:02):
Listen, you gotta be authentic to yourself.
Yeah, no, I got, so I'mgonna, I'm gonna kick us off.
And the first rapid fire questionis if you could recommend
one book to our listeners,
what would it be?
So, sort of the theme of what Iwas talking about today, Braiding
Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmereris just this fantastic book about
(24:23):
integrating Indigenous cultureand Western science together.
I really wish I would've read thisearlier in my career, but it's fantastic.
And I'm going to cheat andrecommend the second book.
Which is Becoming by Michelle Obama andwhere she says as a Black woman, she had
to be twice as good to get half as far.
And that statement has really justresonated with me in so many, many ways.
(24:45):
So, yeah, those are my two.
Jade (they/them) (24:46):
Our listeners have a couple things more to read.
So what brings you joy?
No matter what.
Sithara (she/her) (24:52):
Oh, my dog, Hank.
So , there's something just amazingabout having a creature that
just like chills in your home andjust vibes for whatever reason.
I just absolutely love the energy that hebrings into our house, but also we go to
the dog park and we've met so many peopleand built this little community around
(25:14):
this being and yeah, just fantastic.
Pets are fantastic.
Erin (she/her) (25:17):
Pets are fantastic.
Okay, here's the next rapid fire.
What is your theme song for today?
Sithara (she/her) (25:24):
I think it's called Under Pressure, but
it's from the movie in Encanto.
It's the one Louisasings and it's amazing.
And I watched Encanto with my niece on theweekend and it was a life changing event.
Erin (she/her) (25:35):
Encanto is a brilliant movie.
I have two kids, so itdefinitely came high
on my list.
Jade (they/them) (25:41):
Yeah, that's a good one.
So for our next rapid fire question,other than potentially Bruno, um,
who is somebody that inspires youand how they create belonging,
but doesn't receive enough credit.
Sithara (she/her) (25:53):
I'm
gonna say my mom, and I'm gonna say thatin kind of like a broader sense of all
immigrant parents who take that journey.
That is just to me, bananas anddrive this huge change in their life.
So my parents, my mom,
Erin (she/her) (26:07):
my mother
immigrated to Canada as well.
And it almost seems unimaginableto me, to be honest.
To make that decision of that journeyand to make a greater place for their
children if they choose to have children.
But I think about that as a parent.
So last question here,what is one call to action?
You'd like from our
listeners,
Sithara (she/her) (26:27):
Don't be afraid to be ridiculous.
There's far too much pressureto do things in a certain way.
So just go out and dosomething ridiculous.
Be ridiculous.
Feel ridiculous.
Jade (they/them): Absolutely love that answer. (26:36):
undefined
My first work was dressing up as a fairy.
Amazing.
I teaching children art workshops,and I looked ridiculous.
I really did, please.
No one look up those photosthough, but I, I feel you podcast.
Yeah.
So I, I, I love that call to action.
(26:57):
I hope we get some comments in terms ofthe ridiculous things that people do.
And so I'm so grateful for thisconversation and I didn't expect us to
turn into a bit of a Star Trek podcast,but I'm here for it and need more
of that.
Sithara (she/her) (27:14):
Absolutely . Thank you so, so much for having
me today, I am always up fora conversation with you folks.
So really appreciate this.
Erin (she/her) (27:21):
Thank
Sithara (she/her) (27:23):
it was such a great conversation.
It was, it was,
you know, the, thought that kept goingthrough my mind is if we think from
an abundance mentality instead of adeficit mentality, including in the
workplace, the amount of difference thatwould make, really struck home for me
Erin (she/her) (27:41):
Yeah, I totally resonate with that abundance mentality
Jade (they/them) (27:44):
I think this ties really well into Star Trek.
I know I'm being a bit of anerd, but anybody who enjoys.
Hi.
Um, and, and really cause like within StarTrek, it is in many ways this abundance
mentality, energy has been figured outand therefore nobody has in access to
food, to water, to housing to survival.
(28:08):
And so we started with Star Trek and Ireally think this abundance mentality
is saying, let's get to Star Trek..
Erin (she/her) (28:15):
Wow.
I love that as a, you know, example thatwe can point to you to say it's possible.
And you know, it might be in a TVshow, but it role models to us, this
idea of how can we create a space ofabundance and also create a space where
everyone does have that belonging.
Jade (they/them) (28:32):
I totally agree
Erin (she/her) (28:35):
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We hope you enjoyed, learned, anduncovered deeper belonging with us.
Connect with us on LinkedIn and letus know what part of today's episode
resonated most with you many.
Thanks to our productionteam editor and producer Shawn
Ahmed , communications Lewis,Augusto Nore, and production support.
(28:58):
Connor Pion.
We would also like to thank and sharea brief message from our sponsors Shaw.
Jade (they/them) (29:04):
Today's episode is sponsored by Shaw communications at Shaw.
They connect millions of Canadians everyday to brighter technology solutions.
And they're proud to celebratethe rainbow of identities on their
teams that make that possible.
The richness of diversity among theirstaff and communities is what makes them
uniquely Shaw and impacts everything.
(29:26):
Shaw is a place where everyone canbring their whole selves to work
and feel a sense of belonging.
And we're so grateful that theybelieved in us and supported our
podcast to learn more about Shaw.
Visit shaw.ca.
Erin (she/her) (29:41):
And of course, most of all, we'd like to thank you for
joining us on our second episode.
For more information about today'sguest links referenced and a transcript,
check out our show notes, which areavailable on Pride at Work Canada's
subscribe or follow wherever you get yourpodcasts, Join us for our next episode.
(30:01):
where we will be joinedby David Lewis-Peart.
and Thank you so much for coming on thisjourney with us to uncover belonging.
I know we're right at the top of our podcast , but I'm already
going to throw in a Star Trek reference.
Jade (they/them) (00:05):
I'm always here for a Star Trek reference.
Sithara (she/her) (00:07):
Fantastic.
You'll love it.
Jade (they/them) (00:10):
I'm Jade Pichette.
They/Them.
Erin (she/her) (00:12):
And I'm Erin Davis and I use the pronouns she and her.
Jade (they/them) (00:16):
Welcome to Uncovering Belonging,
Erin (she/her) (00:18):
a podcast that explores the professional and personal stories of
unique voices of what it means to belong
Jade (they/them) (00:23):
and the journey to finding our authentic self.
Sithara (she/her) (00:28):
Erin are you a Star Trek fan?
Erin (she/her) (00:30):
Um, So I've, I've already made a note that I'm
going to need to do some homework
Sithara (she/her) (00:37):
You'll love it.
Erin (she/her) (00:38):
It is my pleasure to introduce my friend and Star Trek,
fan Sithara Fernando, she/her.
Sithara has her MBA and RPF, andis currently the Academic Program
Manager at NorQuest college.
And is the recipient of the CouncilCommendation Wildlife Metal, the
YMM Magazine, Top 50 Under 50.
(00:59):
And EDify's Top 40 Under 40.
Sithara has supported the Pride Centerof Edmonton in multiple roles . She
is a passionate advocate and oneday hopes to write a book about all
her experiences I would also like toprovide our listeners with a content
note (01:15):
throughout the conversation, Sithara shares experiences of suicidal
ideation post-traumatic stressdisorder, anxiety, and depression.
We encourage you to take a quickpause and check in with yourself
so that you can decide whether thiscontent is what you can engage with
today, or listen at another time.
Sithara (she/her) (01:35):
On Star Trek.
There's a character named Worf.
He's played by a Black actor, MichaelDorn, and he is part of the crew of
the Enterprise, but he's a Klingon, andit's always interesting to see how that
character interacts with the rest ofthe crew, cuz he's part of that crew,
but he's also a little bit separatedand I remember watching star Trek
and sort of like understanding that.
Jade (they/them) (01:55):
I always found
myself resonating with Data.
Sithara (she/her) (01:57):
Oh, yep.
Jade (they/them) (01:58):
And also this outsider part of, but not fully
part of which now I understand isbecause I'm autistic, which is why I
resonated so much because this Androidis autistically coded in some ways.
Sithara (she/her) (02:10):
Jade, "A Measure of a Man," Season Two, I'm gonna get
the episode number wrong, is one oflike, probably my all time favorite
episodes, which is all about Data.
Jade (they/them) (02:19):
I think it's really interesting how the characters we
connect with, especially when wedon't see ourselves represented in
media, says a lot about a person.
Sithara (she/her) (02:29):
Absolutely.
Jade (they/them) (02:30):
So as a person who relates to Worf, I wanna know your
personal story and how you got into theequity, diversity and inclusion space.
Sithara (she/her) (02:40):
The way I got into this work is this is my life.
I'm a person of color and a queer person,a lesbian, and my parents immigrated
here in 1981 and settled in Edmonton.
And when you are children ofimmigrants or sort of forging a new
identity, that's not mainstream, youend up existing in this corridor.
That is not, you know, I don't reallyhave a place to go back home, quote
(03:03):
unquote, but I also don't quite fit inwhere I am, which is really interesting
because what ends up happening is youend up moving through your own personal
identity in ways that for me wereunhealthy or not super helpful for my life
Jade (they/them) (03:21):
mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (03:22):
and I have struggled.
I really, really struggledto come out of the closet.
I really struggled with my identity.
I really struggled, sort of adaptingto the Caucasian culture around
me, where I really didn't fit.
Didn't feel like I was a part of that.
And in high school, my parentswanted us to go to a private school,
(03:42):
which ended up being a Christianprivate school and the views.
There were very, very much, I'mnot gonna say, well, you know what?
I am gonna say it, they're pretty extremeand it's pretty black and white in terms
of who's going to heaven and who's goingto hell and what happens and what doesn't.
From that place, I adopted this ideathat if I pretend hard enough to be
(04:04):
straight, if I push my own culture,my Sri Lankan culture aside, if
I pretend hard enough to be all ofthese things that I'm supposed to
be, I can, I can be those things.
I can become a quoteunquote, "normal person".
Jade (they/them) (04:19):
Mm.
Sithara (she/her) (04:19):
And so I basically took that internalized it and went
through a lot of my university years intothe early part of my professional life.
Being somebody that I absolutely wasn't.
Erin (she/her) (04:32):
Hmm.
Sithara (she/her) (04:32):
And thinking that if I get a degree and then if I get
a nice car and if I buy a house andget the job and sort of tick off
all of these boxes that eventuallyI would arrive at happiness and.
It never happened.
And the reason it neverhappened is because I never
put myself in that equation.
Erin (she/her) (04:52):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (04:53):
I put things, I put achievements, I put boxes that I
needed to check off into that equation.
Jade (they/them) (05:00):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (05:00):
And in 2016, so I was living in Fort McMurray
and there was a wildfire.
We all had to evacuate our town and hugething on the news, all of those things.
But I remember driving andI had come home from work.
Grabbed my dog and my cat, and afew things from my home and headed,
uh, south to Edmonton and like80,000 people were evacuating.
(05:20):
So it took 12 hours.
And during that drive, I thoughtmy house had burned down.
It didn't burn down, but I thoughtit had burned down and all of
the pieces that I had worked for.
All of the stuff that I had accumulatedwas gone or I thought was gone.
And I just couldn't take that.
And this very carefully craftedsort of fake world of happiness
(05:42):
and things and being somebody thatI'm not was essentially ripped out.
And in that moment, I realized howprofoundly lonely I was and how
difficult I had made things for myselfby not being the person that I am.
Jade (they/them) (05:57):
Ah,
Sithara (she/her) (05:57):
and what followed.
That was essentially a whole bunch ofmonths of just really, really trying to.
And, um, and I think this isprobably one of the one, one of the
things is that I wish I would'vereached out for help earlier.
But when I went back to Fort McMurray,after the fire, I really doubled down.
(06:17):
I said, you know what?
If I try hard enough, if I lieenough, if I pretend enough,
I like this is a me problem.
I can fix this.
I, I can put all of the effort in.
And then what followed was post traumaticstress disorder, depression, anxiety.
and eventually it culminatedin, um, some suicidal ideation.
Jade (they/them) (06:37):
Mm.
Sithara (she/her) (06:37):
And you know, it is one of those moments where, and
I think this is probably one of themost in things about mental illness
is that it is not one big event.
Jade (they/them) (06:48):
No,
Sithara (she/her) (06:49):
it is a series of these small little pieces that just
stack up over time and undoing thedamage that I had done to myself.
I will say a monumental task,but it's not that I, all of
a sudden said, you know what?
I'm gonna come out of the closetand everything's going to be fine.
Erin (she/her) (07:07):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (07:07):
That's not how it worked, but it is recognizing that
I did not want to be lonely anymore.
Jade (they/them) (07:14):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (07:15):
And the way I got into this work was essentially recognizing
that my story is not unique in any way,shape or form that depression and anxiety
and posttraumatic stress disorder inthe queer community is a huge problem.
And that these arethings that kill people.
Depression kills people.
Right?
Erin (she/her) (07:35):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (07:35):
You get to a point where you are no longer yourself and you
are no longer thinking about all of thethings that could be, and you're stuck
in all of the stuff that's not working.
And so part of getting into this work wasone, recognizing that I was profoundly
unhappy at my current role to recognizingthat one of the things I like doing is
(07:57):
teaching people and talking and writing.
And I'm comfortable discussingthese things, right?
Jade (they/them) (08:05):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (08:05):
And so part of the reason I got in, into
this work is because I think morepeople need to hear about this.
And I think when people recognize that ifyou don't look like the majority, if you
are feeling like you're on the outside,If you are part of a marginalized group,
if you exist on the fringes, you have torecognize that in a lot of ways, society
(08:27):
was not built for people who don't fita certain mold and Canadian society in
the nineties was really white centered.
Erin (she/her) (08:34):
Totally
Sithara (she/her) (08:35):
Even looking at things like pop culture - like
the TV show "Friends" isproblematic in so many, many ways,
Jade (they/them) (08:42):
so many,
Sithara (she/her) (08:43):
But was something that, that, that people just really,
really clung onto and thought thisis the pinnacle of television.
And so people need examples.
Erin (she/her) (08:51):
Exactly.
Sithara (she/her) (08:51):
People need examples of people who can come out
and say, look, a world is not perfect.
However, it's not horribleand you're not alone.
And this work makes me feellike I belong because I know.
That I'm no longer lonely.
Jade (they/them) (09:05):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (09:05):
And it's not about having a spouse or
finding a spouse or getting awife or coming out of the closet.
It's about being okay with who I amand being happy with who I am and not
trying to impress other people or evenlook for happiness outside of myself.
It's understanding that I build myown sort of happiness within myself,
(09:26):
and I can make decisions around that.
And I'm incredibly proud of the workthat I've done since essentially early
2017, with both in my mental health andmy personal life and my professional
life to really put myself in the center.
Of my life and my true self, notaffect of who I think I should be not
fulfilling somebody else's expectations,but asking myself what are the things
(09:49):
that make me happy and how do I do.
Jade (they/them) (09:53):
You know, there's so much power in what you just shared.
And as somebody also, who haslived with PTSD, suicidal ideation,
anxiety, depression, I can resonate incertain ways and empathize in others.
And sometimes people don't realize that.
Sometimes the reason we get into thiswork is almost a matter of survival
(10:14):
for ourselves, for seeing ourselves,for being seen by others, that we
wish to see us and truly see us.
And I think this will resonate a lotwith some of our listeners, especially
seeing, as I find at Pride at WorkCanada events, we'll wind up with
quite a number of people who come.
Are not out where sometimes thisis the only space that they're
(10:37):
able to engage with, who they are.
And it is that role modeling.
It's that connection.
It's that vulnerability thatmakes people feel not alone.
So I wanna pass it over to Erin.
Erin (she/her) (10:48):
Yeah.
Thanks Jade.
You know, I wanna take a moment tosort of recognize some of what you've
just said, Sithara, because it's notuntil you were truly finding yourself
that you're able to really thrive.
And I do think not everyonenecessarily gets there and it's not.
So thank you for sharing your journey.
Sithara (she/her) (11:05):
Oh, thanks guys.
Erin (she/her) (11:06):
As you do this work around equity, diversity and inclusion.
What have been some ofthe barriers for you?
Sithara (she/her) (11:10):
So the barriers I see is that we don't recognize
the impact of our fundamentalworldviews on the world, around us.
Erin (she/her) (11:20):
Hmm.
Sithara (she/her) (11:20):
And I had the privilege of working and living in Fort Chipewyan,
which is an Indigenous community.
And that experience changed my life.
I remember talking to one of theElders and she told me the story
of Sky Woman, which is the originstory of Turtle Island, which
is where we currently reside.
Erin (she/her) (11:42):
Hi, it's Erin.
And I'm recording this after the factbefore Satara shares this Chipewyan
version of the story of the Sky Woman.
We'd like to disclose that weconfirmed with Sithara, that she
shares the story with the consentof Alice Rigney, Elder with the The
Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation.
This story was conveyed to Sitharawith the obligation of sharing
and respecting this knowledge, asit applies to Sithara's journey.
(12:06):
This story is one of many differentorigin stories held by Indigenous
peoples here on Turtle I sland.
We encourage you to listen andlearn from Indigenous Elders
in the territory you are on.
Sithara (she/her) (12:20):
And so Sky Woman falls from sky world and she comes
down and the geese cushion her fall.
The turtle allows her to sit on her backthe animals around her, bring a whole
bunch of things to support her and assist.
And then there's the Christian originstory of Adam and Eve where a mistake
(12:42):
gets made and they get pushed out ofparadise into this world to do what
they need to do and live their lives.
And the reality is even if you'rereligious or not religious, we are
affected by these fundamental world views.
One sees this place as a place ofbelonging as a place of abundance as a
(13:03):
place where the world is going to provide,and you have a responsibility to it.
The other sees this place as a waitingroom to paradise, where there are
dangers, there are things that can happen.
This is not a safe place.
And so when we have discussions aboutthings like using pronouns in people's
(13:23):
work signatures, or adding an extrabox to forms where someone can identify
whatever their identity is, or justremoving that question, altogether.
You see, people get really upset aboutthat because they feel either entitled
to having a world that's less confusingor being part of something that belonged
(13:44):
to them and is now getting taken away.
Erin (she/her) (13:47):
Oh yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (13:47):
And so if you look around and say, you know what,
none of this actually belongs to me.
I am a part of this and I havea responsibility towards it.
All of a sudden, somebody usingpronouns, somebody deciding that they
are going to create their own identity.
Isn't threatening.
It's an evolution of theabundance that exists around us.
Erin (she/her) (14:09):
Absolutely.
Sithara (she/her) (14:10):
And, when you come to engaging employers, what has worked well
for me and dealing with the barriers isyou have to recognize, we don't need to
continue to drive and drive and drivefor external validation, whether that's
sales or in my case, numbers of students,what we need to do is make sure that
(14:30):
every person in our workplace feelssafe and comfortable being themselves.
Erin (she/her) (14:36):
Absolutely.
Sithara (she/her) (14:37):
Our vision, mission goals, whatever you want to talk about,
however you wanna put that comes froma place of abundance and comes from
a place where as a employer you arelooking at, this is the work we can do.
Right?
Erin (she/her) (14:50):
Right.
Sithara (she/her) (14:51):
And the amazing thing about this is that when you let go of
trying to be the best in a single metricand start to pay attention to yourself and
the things you want, the results follow.
Erin (she/her) (15:04):
Wow, you are articulating for me something that I've been personally
thinking a lot about why aren't weall going back to this way of being,
and having that mindset of abundanceand that everything we have is here.
And the other piece that I think isgonna be so relevant for our audience is
how we can get lost in the very strictways that we think about business.
Jade (they/them) (15:27):
Definitely.
Erin (she/her) (15:28):
And if we can wrap our heads around this idea, Of belonging
and maybe it doesn't have to be aquantitative number every single time,
but it can actually be a qualitative one,
Jade (they/them) (15:40):
definitely that
Erin (she/her) (15:40):
like when we feel as human beings and someone can share
that story of belonging when they cometo work and say that every part of me
matters, it's not the part of me thatshows up from eight to five that does
all the work and meets all the metrics.
Then I think we've actuallyunlocked a better world.
Sithara (she/her) (15:59):
Absolutely.
Jade (they/them) (16:00):
Yeah.
I also wanna echo Erin's commentsabout the importance of going
back to that abundance mentality.
And I want to talk more about whatthat could look like, you know, how
could that impact the work that we do?
How are we gonna get there?
And do you have any thoughts
on that?
Sithara (she/her) (16:19):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
I see the future being more inclusive.
And when I say more inclusive, what Imean is that every part of my life is a
reflection of the world around me is areflection of the diversity around me.
And so it's not this thing where thereare equity and diversity and inclusion
statements, and maybe that's wherepeople start, but that's not end.
(16:42):
It is a continuous improvementof understanding what the
world is asking of us.
And the world is asking for us to listen.
Erin (she/her) (16:52):
Yes.
Sithara (she/her) (16:52):
To listen to the people around.
To listen to the environment around usand all of the stuff that comes with that.
Now these are all very sort of ephemeralideas in terms of a more concrete example.
So I work at a community collegeand it is really interesting to see
where education has gone from thetime that I was in university to.
(17:17):
It used to be like, I remember goingand memorizing Latin names of trees
and trying to cram all this stuffinto your brain and then regurgitating
that onto a sheet of paper.
Now, the information isavailable all the time and the
critical skills students need.
The critical skills.
All of us need is the ability todisseminate good information from bad.
(17:37):
And to take that large amount ofinformation and deliver it in a
way that makes sense to people.
Jade (they/them) (17:46):
We are
definitely in this place where it's aboutdeciding where the good information is.
And it's definitely abigger challenge than usual.
I mean, we've seen how that has.
Done a lot of harm in termsof vaccination, in terms of
disinformation and intentionalmisinformation is a real serious issue.
And I wanna give a shout out toanother podcast being Science Vs,
(18:10):
they actually made the decision latelyto focus on doing disinformation and
misinformation and uncovering that.
So I love that you bring that upbecause I think for us to reach.
True future.
We also need to be able to accessgood information and that good
information is stuff that has tobe connected to different people.
(18:30):
Cause I feel like we're gettingmore disconnected in some ways as
we become more connected in others.
Sithara (she/her) (18:36):
Absolutely.
And I think one of the things is that wealso get more disconnected from ourselves.
Jade (they/them) (18:41):
Definitely.
Sithara (she/her) (18:42):
There is a ton of information out there that tells people.
You need to look a certain way oryou need to be a certain way, or you
get your Instagram likes or whatever,or your TikTok followers and all of
a sudden, that's the thing you wantto be, but that's not who you are.
Jade (they/them) (18:59):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (18:59):
And so part of this disinformation misinformation is finding
that piece inside of yourself thatsays, you know, something doesn't quite
seem right about this and listening to.
And as we get more and more disconnectedfrom sort of reality and what is
correct, and what's incorrect and thattype of stuff, you lose your internal
(19:20):
confidence to really critically lookat what it is that is out there and
what it is that makes you, who you are.
So part of working towards a moreinclusive world, a more focused world
is recognizing where we come from, butalso recognizing that you are you right?
Jade (they/them) (19:40):
Yeah.
Sithara (she/her) (19:41):
And so the world that we're working towards and the future
where we see ourselves in our communitiesis one where people are free to not only
make decisions, but also make mistakes.
Significant ways and recover.
Jade (they/them) (19:54):
I hear that.
Sithara (she/her) (19:55):
Um, coming back to one of the things we mentioned,
sort of at the top of the podcastwas I used to live in Fort McMurray
and I had a really great job.
It's a beautiful place, right inthe middle of the boreal forest,
I was making really great money.
And my girlfriend at the time, now mywife had moved up with me and we were
sort of starting to build our life there.
But one of the things we recognizedis that even though there is
(20:17):
a small, very devoted queercommunity there it's a difficult
place to be a queer person, right?
Jade (they/them) (20:23):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (20:24):
and part of doing this work and being out and being
somebody who talks about this stuffis making the decision of where
can I set myself up for success.
And sometimes that means makingreally, really difficult decisions.
Like I had to foreclose on myhome in Fort McMurray to enable
ourselves to move to Edmonton.
And it was a heartbreaking decision, butit was the right decision and it was an
(20:50):
empowering decision to choose to moveforward, going in a different direction.
Erin (she/her) (20:55):
I hear that
Sithara (she/her) (20:56):
I'm, I'm going to use another Indigenous
metaphor for the future state.
Sweetgrass.
The braid of Sweetgrass is indifferent Indigenous communities
has different significance.
Now when somebody braids theirhair, you always have three strands.
So if you sort of imaginethis as there is you.
There's your community andthere's the world around you.
Jade (they/them) (21:18):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (21:19):
and you are trying to braid that together.
Now, a good braid needs three even parts.
If one part is larger thanthe other, it's unbalanced.
The other thing is a good braidneeds a little bit attention or in
my mom's case, a lot of tension.
So you do have to pull a bit and itcan be uncomfortable and it can be to
(21:40):
the point where it hurts a little bit.
But what you're doing is you're buildingthis foundation that once you let go.
It stays
Erin (she/her) (21:48):
Uhhuh.
Sithara (she/her) (21:49):
And so our future state is to look at our lives and
try and understand what are our threeor two or whatever, but what are our
fundamental building blocks and whowe are as people and what we want our
world around us to look like, and thenrecognize that tension has to be there.
Jade (they/them) (22:07):
Mm-hmm
Sithara (she/her) (22:08):
Through my mental health journey, I remember
reading about different folkswho had come out of the closet.
And there was a story about awoman in her sixties who was
in a male, female marriage.
Um, had kids always knew she was alesbian, just tried like the same path
that I was on was checking off the boxes.
Right.
Find a husband, get married,do this and do that.
(22:30):
And then had a mentalbreakdown in her sixties.
And I remember one of the thingsshe said that really struck me was
that the energy doesn't disappear.
You either have to do the hard thingat the beginning and come out of the
closet or you have to deal with thehard thing at the end or throughout.
Right.
Jade (they/them) (22:48):
Definitely that.
Sithara (she/her) (22:49):
And so it's not like that tension all of a sudden
you avoid it and it comes back.
Jade (they/them) (22:55):
Right?
Sithara (she/her) (22:55):
And so part of that is, as Brené Brown says, putting on your armor
and understanding that, you know what, I'mgonna move forward in a way that serves
me in a way that serves my community andin a way that serves the world around me.
Jade (they/them) (23:11):
Thank you.
That was, I feel very, very appropriate interms of getting to the close for podcast.
I want to shout out to the comment thatyou made in terms of braiding and sweet
grass and mention to our listeners thatthey should check out Towards Braiding
by Elwood, Jimmy, Vanessa Andreotti andSharon Stein who put together a really
(23:34):
important book to talk about that concept.
And it's available online for free.
We'll have the, uh, message in thenotes in terms of how to get there.
And And so thank you so much.
This has been such a great discussion,but before we close, we have
the rapid fire question round.
Sithara (she/her) (23:52):
Fantastic.
Jade (they/them) (23:53):
So are you ready to go?
Sithara (she/her) (23:54):
Absolutely.
Let's do this.
I promise they won't all be Star Trek
related, but
Jade (they/them) (23:58):
I'm disappointed then
Erin (she/her) (24:02):
Listen, you gotta be authentic to yourself.
Yeah, no, I got, so I'mgonna, I'm gonna kick us off.
And the first rapid fire questionis if you could recommend
one book to our listeners,
what would it be?
So, sort of the theme of what Iwas talking about today, Braiding
Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmereris just this fantastic book about
(24:23):
integrating Indigenous cultureand Western science together.
I really wish I would've read thisearlier in my career, but it's fantastic.
And I'm going to cheat andrecommend the second book.
Which is Becoming by Michelle Obama andwhere she says as a Black woman, she had
to be twice as good to get half as far.
And that statement has really justresonated with me in so many, many ways.
(24:45):
So, yeah, those are my two.
Jade (they/them) (24:46):
Our listeners have a couple things more to read.
So what brings you joy?
No matter what.
Sithara (she/her) (24:52):
Oh, my dog, Hank.
So , there's something just amazingabout having a creature that
just like chills in your home andjust vibes for whatever reason.
I just absolutely love the energy that hebrings into our house, but also we go to
the dog park and we've met so many peopleand built this little community around
(25:14):
this being and yeah, just fantastic.
Pets are fantastic.
Erin (she/her) (25:17):
Pets are fantastic.
Okay, here's the next rapid fire.
What is your theme song for today?
Sithara (she/her) (25:24):
I think it's called Under Pressure, but
it's from the movie in Encanto.
It's the one Louisasings and it's amazing.
And I watched Encanto with my niece on theweekend and it was a life changing event.
Erin (she/her) (25:35):
Encanto is a brilliant movie.
I have two kids, so itdefinitely came high
on my list.
Jade (they/them) (25:41):
Yeah, that's a good one.
So for our next rapid fire question,other than potentially Bruno, um,
who is somebody that inspires youand how they create belonging,
but doesn't receive enough credit.
Sithara (she/her) (25:53):
I'm
gonna say my mom, and I'm gonna say thatin kind of like a broader sense of all
immigrant parents who take that journey.
That is just to me, bananas anddrive this huge change in their life.
So my parents, my mom,
Erin (she/her) (26:07):
my mother
immigrated to Canada as well.
And it almost seems unimaginableto me, to be honest.
To make that decision of that journeyand to make a greater place for their
children if they choose to have children.
But I think about that as a parent.
So last question here,what is one call to action?
You'd like from our
listeners,
Sithara (she/her) (26:27):
Don't be afraid to be ridiculous.
There's far too much pressureto do things in a certain way.
So just go out and dosomething ridiculous.
Be ridiculous.
Feel ridiculous.
Jade (they/them): Absolutely love that answer. (26:36):
undefined
My first work was dressing up as a fairy.
Amazing.
I teaching children art workshops,and I looked ridiculous.
I really did, please.
No one look up those photosthough, but I, I feel you podcast.
Yeah.
So I, I, I love that call to action.
(26:57):
I hope we get some comments in terms ofthe ridiculous things that people do.
And so I'm so grateful for thisconversation and I didn't expect us to
turn into a bit of a Star Trek podcast,but I'm here for it and need more
of that.
Sithara (she/her) (27:14):
Absolutely . Thank you so, so much for having
me today, I am always up fora conversation with you folks.
So really appreciate this.
Erin (she/her) (27:21):
Thank
Sithara (she/her) (27:23):
it was such a great conversation.
It was, it was,
you know, the, thought that kept goingthrough my mind is if we think from
an abundance mentality instead of adeficit mentality, including in the
workplace, the amount of difference thatwould make, really struck home for me
Erin (she/her) (27:41):
Yeah, I totally resonate with that abundance mentality
Jade (they/them) (27:44):
I think this ties really well into Star Trek.
I know I'm being a bit of anerd, but anybody who enjoys.
Hi.
Um, and, and really cause like within StarTrek, it is in many ways this abundance
mentality, energy has been figured outand therefore nobody has in access to
food, to water, to housing to survival.
(28:08):
And so we started with Star Trek and Ireally think this abundance mentality
is saying, let's get to Star Trek..
Erin (she/her) (28:15):
Wow.
I love that as a, you know, example thatwe can point to you to say it's possible.
And you know, it might be in a TVshow, but it role models to us, this
idea of how can we create a space ofabundance and also create a space where
everyone does have that belonging.
Jade (they/them) (28:32):
I totally agree
Erin (she/her) (28:35):
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We hope you enjoyed, learned, anduncovered deeper belonging with us.
Connect with us on LinkedIn and letus know what part of today's episode
resonated most with you many.
Thanks to our productionteam editor and producer Shawn
Ahmed , communications Lewis,Augusto Nore, and production support.
(28:58):
Connor Pion.
We would also like to thank and sharea brief message from our sponsors Shaw.
Jade (they/them) (29:04):
Today's episode is sponsored by Shaw communications at Shaw.
They connect millions of Canadians everyday to brighter technology solutions.
And they're proud to celebratethe rainbow of identities on their
teams that make that possible.
The richness of diversity among theirstaff and communities is what makes them
uniquely Shaw and impacts everything.
(29:26):
Shaw is a place where everyone canbring their whole selves to work
and feel a sense of belonging.
And we're so grateful that theybelieved in us and supported our
podcast to learn more about Shaw.
Visit shaw.ca.
Erin (she/her) (29:41):
And of course, most of all, we'd like to thank you for
joining us on our second episode.
For more information about today'sguest links referenced and a transcript,
check out our show notes, which areavailable on Pride at Work Canada's
subscribe or follow wherever you get yourpodcasts, Join us for our next episode.
(30:01):
where we will be joinedby David Lewis-Peart.
and Thank you so much for coming on thisjourney with us to uncover belonging.
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