S1E3 Empowering Connections: Cultural Journey, Gender Equality, and the Mensch Within with Peter Muse

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Welcome to Uplift inspiring stories to uplift the world.
It is a show that transcends cultures and borders to bring you the most heartwarming, uplifting and inspiring stories from around the globe.
In a world where negativity can sometimes feel all-encompassing, it is crucial to be reminded of the incredible capacity for goodness in humanity.

(00:27):
Each week, i will share a new story of resilience, courage and triumph from a guest.
These stories will leave you feeling inspired and uplifted as you witness the extraordinary things people are capable of achieving.
Today, coming from San Diego in California, we have Peter Muse.
He's a friend of mine, an Army veteran, retired civil servant, business owner of several businesses in the USA and in Germany, career Development and Human Resources Manager.

(00:59):
Peter loves to have people to teach and to travel.
His businesses are Begin Swiss Family this is how I met him with his spouse and business partner, Rebecca And currently he focuses on Lifestyle Leap, a Begin Swiss Family venture.
Peter, thank you so much for being here today.

(01:20):
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you, Gemma.
thank you for that wonderful introduction.
It's really great to sit with you and have a conversation.
Yes, like you said, we met a couple of years ago while exploring other possibilities and collaborating with some online ventures, very often to come on the other side of COVID and meet up and be able to enjoy a conversation with you.

(01:49):
So thank you for having me.
It's absolutely an honor, it's a pleasure and I'm very excited to have this conversation with you today.
Thank you.
Great to be here.
When we think about uplifting stories, there is all these cultural differences from all kinds of backgrounds.

(02:12):
You come as an African American and you have lived in Germany as well, as you are currently living in San Diego, California.
That brings a cultural sensitivity that a few people can really say that they own, and they have.
Tell us a little bit about that interesting background.

(02:35):
So yes, that is.
It's funny in a way.
You ask it that way.
I was reflecting back on life just this morning as I was watching a video about the history of African Americans in different parts of the USA, and there are many, many cultural differences between different segments of our population, of our culture.

(03:05):
As you know, and my experience, i grew up in New Jersey and my childhood was in what we call suburbia, where there was a multitude of different cultures And what I now know, that many of these families had emigrated from Europe.

(03:26):
So I had Hungarian neighbors and didn't really realize until just recently that back then the father or the grandfather didn't speak English And I just thought they weren't very talkative.
Now I know they didn't speak very good English.
My best friend was.
His father was born in Hungary, but he did speak English, his grandfather didn't, and so I began and Greeks and from Greece and from Poland and from mostly Central Europe, italians who had been there a little bit longer, but this was in the Irish And that was my community And growing up it was the melting pot.

(04:06):
I really believed that that was the microcosm of the United States.
I joined the army back in 1981, long ago And that's where I met, really immersed in people from around the United States, in different cultures.
So then I learned people from the Midwest, from the West, north, pacific, northwest, and then all of the different cultures, all so many associated with these different countries.

(04:37):
I think, by the way they, by the way they migrated across America as pioneer families, as migrating families or whatever, i began to learn that people changed, they changed things to adapt and adapt to the situation.
So if potatoes are the crop that the Irish used to escape and be famine, it has become a staple around the country for many different because they brought that here.

(05:12):
So it's things like that in every culture.
The Asian culture, chinese food and all of the different things that are here are not just what we would call old world, they are uniquely Americanized.
So the backstory to that is when I joined the army and met these different people and my first assignment was overseas, in Germany, i then experienced the old world for what it was.

(05:47):
I mean I walked into taverns that were a thousand years old, a thousand, and America has nothing I mean from Europe.
so you understand that And I was.
it's something you, maybe we knew that Europe was old, but not to sit in a place where somebody was actually sitting and dining five six hundred years ago.

(06:18):
And so I gained a great respect for cultures.
That had me traveling a little bit in a smaller space.
I didn't get everywhere My bucket list is still so open with places in Europe that I want to go But I understood and began to learn the cultures.

(06:39):
So Germany, this place.
People talk about German beer, for example.
It is a when people have a beer in the United States and it's called a Pils or a Lysin beer or something that it is a tribute to that beer.

(07:03):
But when I was there in a monastery or a place where they brewed it, it is such a fine art and so heavily regulated It must be perfect, at least in the process.
And that's what I learned about people in Germany, these processes And then the technical know-how.

(07:28):
I married a German woman and have.
My children are German and they grew up in Germany and they went to school in Germany, and so I got to compare the German schools to the American schools, where I thought I want my children to go to American school because USA, we are the best.
And I very quickly learned to rethink that And later today I will tell you it's not even close.

(07:56):
I'm so happy my children went to school there because of the skills that they learned that were just foundational.
That don't happen here in America.
And why am I telling you about this?
Because in America now we are really faced with struggles that do encompass culture, because culture and religion, not talking religion but these differences are also, many of them, connected to very old traditions, and I was thinking about this more when we started to talk.

(08:41):
But now as I'm talking, the people, many people in America we talk about people in Europe being socialists, not talking politics, but just as a way of life, And I thought if or too liberal or something.
And I thought if we, if we weren't liberal, we wouldn't have women voting, we wouldn't have diversity and inclusion, we wouldn't have so many things we wouldn't have if some liberal didn't say these are the things we need for our society, when in Germany there's very, very little homelessness, there's very, very little people who don't have health care, there's very low unemployment and most of the children end up learning a trade before they're 17 or 18 years old, and that is not something that I would call socialist, but that's the label that so many Americans here now is the point, who have never experienced it there, where I was amazed by it, i came to totally respect it, and it wasn't just Germany, it was all the surrounding countries.

(09:47):
And now, as we have, as the fall of the Soviet Union and all of that, and the countries in Eastern Europe have also adopted these principles and they are furthering that Where here in the States we are holding on to something.
Very often we hold on to things that that might be of tradition, that I think we don't even know why, and I think partly because we don't open our perspective to really try to understand, if you So I'm a fan of Stephen Covey and the habits, the seven habits of highly successful, effective people.

(10:40):
It's learning to understand.
Seeking first to understand is how it goes The other person before we can judge, condemn or counter or even engage in conversation, and I think the stresses that that, even in talking about this show And what it's about, i think the things that put us in a position where we need to be uplifted also stem from what one of my mentors said stinking thinking There's not so much garbage, and it clouds our ability to see new possibilities.

(11:31):
We don't want to listen to the other person because we automatically think they're wrong and then, when things don't go right for us, we feel dejected, but we're not, i don't think we're taking as a society and I will say we, because I think we all have moments where we're guilty of the narrow band not so not having a vision.

(12:07):
I'm going to go back to Europe for a second because I had an experience that was personal.
It wasn't very, it's not a big story, but I was in Italy now stationed in Italy in 1986 or so and I was going to a friend's house and walking down the street, after parking my car, with another friend, we were going about two doors away from the place that we were going to and there was a wedding and it was very lively, very loud, and they were dancing.

(12:35):
It was in the driveway, right.
So people were spread from the house to the backyard, to the front in the driveway and we were walking through the people and a gentleman came out and he said hey, come on in, didn't know us, knew, obviously we were American, but he was a time and he brought it in.

(12:56):
Yeah, he knew, and I mean I'm black and the guy that was with me, i think, was white or Latino.
But he invited us in, gave us wine, talked with us, invited us to dance, and I thought isn't that how we could be able to treat each other How successful and how positive of a?

(13:27):
and that was 35 years ago, more than 35 years ago.
It's still a very prominent memory for me, because it tells me the world can be good no matter what, and you don't have to know someone.
And so I, yeah, so, anyway, that's that's a beautiful memory and indeed, indeed, I remember I'm originally from Switzerland, with Hungarian roots.

(14:00):
You don't have to buy that.
Yes, I do Like.
mother and all her family originally are from Hungary and they fled 1956, when the year my mother was born, they fled to Switzerland.
So I was born and raised in Switzerland as of 1978.

(14:20):
I came to it later.
And that actually is the route where I grew up, i was born and raised for how long Until 34 years ago, before I came to California.
Wow, i've spent time in Hungary, so I love it.
Yes, that's beautiful especially with your story and your, your relation to Hungary.

(14:42):
That's interesting, yeah, indeed, the culture is that when there is a party, a celebration, a wedding, we meet people we don't know, we have never seen, but we assume the good, we assume everybody is good, everybody is going to come rejoice for that wedding, rejoice for that baby shower, rejoice for that birthday, something.

(15:09):
We don't have to know everybody.
But when we are in that, in that party mood, like okay, let's celebrate together, yeah, everybody's welcome And that is normal.
Now you take that out of context and you go in Switzerland, in the French speaking region where I was born and raised Geneva, lausanne and all the regions And you go in the public transportation.

(15:37):
You're going to see a very different picture of the same people who would welcome you.
During a party, nobody looks at each other, avoid to see each other.
Because, they're Because, because we're raised that way, we are taught that way.
It's not natural.
We are taught culturally that way in Geneva, in Lausanne.

(16:01):
And when one person coming from elsewhere typically United States come, typically on a mission I'm thinking about the Mormon with their black tag and like trying to connect with the local people, say hello and see what they can do to help.
You know, and you look at them and you are here.
Oh my God, don't look at me.

(16:23):
You see how you are raised over there.
He's like why?
And that's the same culture that's been indeed partied with whoever they don't know for a celebration.
Culture differences, same people, I'm telling you from within.
Well, you know, it's interesting in Germany I think it may be also and I don't want to say colder, just I think and maybe the Germans are more aligned with Swiss than they would be with the Mediterranean.

(16:58):
So in Hungary I think it was sort of in the middle when I was there But family restaurants in Hungary are absolutely amazing and you cannot as much there's little to compare to even the Italians or the Germans that family restaurant in Hungary that I went to several and it was always come back the next time and you were like a member of the family.

(17:27):
So I this is.
Then this became part of my own personal DNA And so, even though there are, you know, disparities in America with race, with culture, with gender, with age, and we do treat people very often a certain way because of these things over in Europe, they could see the color of my skin And they knew either I was American or African, but depending on where I was, they knew more Americans.

(18:03):
So they assumed me to be an American And if there was a prejudice it was towards the, the American part, and not the color part.
And I found that they did not really understand the race issues of the United States.
Yeah because they were not in a, they were not, you know, france or Portugal or England, or colonizing.

(18:28):
They didn't really understand it.
And the people today?
so you know, when I, when it was in my younger years, and I was dating and dating young German ladies because we're in Germany it was really to understand this difference between people, we could get to what the Germans and the Swiss would use the word mench, right, human.

(18:56):
That's who we are, and if we could ever just be that all, what a starting place we could have, even so late in the game.
That's at the core of what we are not about race, human race, this race, that race, mench, human.
Start there, and I think that's what set me on the course to become an instructor, to become Peter, to become human resources and manage careers and coach and mentor people, because there's, there's always something inside of all of us where that mench exists Exactly, and I think many people don't know how to unlock it.

(19:46):
That is a powerful thing that you bring up, because that understanding that we are all equal And when you look at the constitution, it's like all men are equal.
And then there was this implication if you are white, if you are male and if you're Christian, so if you are none of that's one of the men it's like.

(20:14):
Oh okay, so suppose everybody, every living being, is created equal.
That is the actual, real meaning that is taken into consideration in Europe And that is what would be good for American society.
So you write this case to actually encompass more of And it takes time.

(20:39):
It takes decades, but it takes time.
And I think, gemma, that Europe still has some of the same when it comes to male and female disparities.
I am sure that still exists.
But I think, and even even the acceptance of different cultures within a society, when people from other cultures moved into different countries in Germany or different countries in Europe because they were a refugee somewhere else or whatever, i think because they didn't have this old foundational constitutional something barrier, they were able to more quickly react and accept the people who were different.

(21:26):
Germany was 90 something percent German people when I first got there, when I went last year, i thought we are the Germans.
In the meantime, there was that gigantic migration I think it was 2015 or something where so many have to migrate and settle in Germany and have to organize themselves and create a new life for themselves and their family.

(21:57):
I put the German people, the German government.
Sure, there's two sides to the agreement of whether they should do that or accept that, or promote that or not, but I believe that universally they were more open to it than we would be.

(22:23):
Oh yeah, by principle, by culture by how you were taught and raised first.
Yes, and we talk about refugees from Afghanistan, for example, not to get too far off.
But it is part of what goes into our mindset, our thinking and our ability, going back to that, to unlock unlimited power, because I really think we put the lid on.

(22:47):
You know, donald Maxwell said law of the lid.
We lock it here and we don't go above it.
So this is our parameter and we don't change.
This is our neighborhood, this is what it's looked like for 50 years.
I want it to stay.
It's not so much I don't like the person moving in.
I don't want to change.
I understand that.
And that is one of the old ways of our brain to maintain safety.

(23:16):
What is familiar is safe, regardless if it is actually secure or safe or not, but if it is familiar, it's safe.
And, by the way, this is how you can stay in toxic relationships.
Yes, if you're familiar, you know it.
It's not good, but you know it.
So you know exactly how it's going to go Here, there, there, there.

(23:39):
Okay, so you know it.
So this is how I was, by the way, able to stay 15 years living in domestic violence before I met Sasha.
Yeah, because it was familiar.
So you think you know it, or you?
feel it, exactly, exactly That is yeah, And many and many people share that story.

(24:00):
I know you've unlocked hundreds of stories of people who are very similar, but don't talk about it.
I mean, I was in a relationship that was.
I only talk about it in some circles because I don't.
You know, I don't want to speak ill of anyone, But it was of.
It was not a relationship that was healthy, I understand.

(24:26):
I think it's a very different state in it for all the different reasons you can imagine, from for the other person, for the children, for my own fear of something, for my immaturity.
I don't want the convenience And and I thought, okay, I'm fine, Everything's fine.
I have adopted to this, I've adjusted myself to the conditions that may not be the best for me, Right, I'm sure you can speak to that 100%.

(24:54):
Right.
So okay, i know it's not.
It's not that bad because because surely I'm not on the street, because surely this and not that and the other thing, and then we're, we're feared.
We have fear because we're not comfortable, but we are familiar and and leaving or doing something would be very unfamiliar And that's very counter to our thinking.

(25:15):
That's right And and and again.
I think in the way we live, the way we treat each other in relationships, the way we treat ourselves and our own personal relationship, all of that must have partly to do with life experiences.

(25:35):
But there's also generational culture.
I think we we leave way too far off the conversation.
Things are passed down without being put in word on paper.
They are passed down subliminally.
They are passed down through little nuances in the culture, little competitions with dinner that are harmless, but they stick.

(26:03):
They do.
And although I might think a certain way about a certain people or a certain person man, women, people of a different culture, whatever those are created here, they may be fed, but they are certainly incubated in my own If, i, if, because if I chose to accept them, that means that I took the thought right, i processed it and I said, okay, i don't like spinach, whatever it is.

(26:41):
And in a way, in fact, I love spinach.
I always have spinach at home, Yeah.
I love it, we grow it, but that's the thing, right, and so sometimes You have this gigantic garden.
I remember some garden feature with so big carrots like set on, yeah, and so I think you know our, and so just even in this conversation, we are we're, we're using the barriers to expose them.

(27:12):
Yes.
And I think anybody that needs to, to be unlocked, unhinged, unsomething, or or.
That's why my lifestyle leap was this, it's.
I started a, a, a thought page, something a few years before it was.
Changing how you live was the name of the thing prior to lifestyle leap, And I and I did that because I wanted to talk about people changing, changing, changing something, because so many people talk about how things aren't good But nobody's really talking about changing, just talking about the problems.

(27:54):
This is the right.
They're not sure there are so many people that don't have that issue.
They're headfirst into changing, adapting, adopting, and some people are, like you said, very familiar.
This is where I am hometown, never left the same job.
We all work there generations long.
No, we can't buy a house.
No, we can't do that, but that's And that's how it starts.

(28:20):
And the children pick that up.
Believe me, in 2040, they'll be telling the same story.
I know that you know, one of the big inner work I did, and I'm still doing, is to, once I have pinpointed a belief that was that was bestowed on me from the moment I was alive, on this life, in terms of realizing that actually this believe is not serving my higher goods.

(28:55):
And when I can really pinpoint that one, the work I do is to then close my eyes, go back in time at the moment.
I actually pick that up And one of the beliefs I did pick it up while I was in the womb of my mother And I noticed that I was able to really like boil it down so precisely.

(29:23):
So what I did is to come back at that moment in time, because you can.
And I realized, whoa, i'm not going to communicate in word, in French or in English, this is not how I'm going to communicate.
I'm going to communicate a feeling of safety to that.

(29:45):
So this version of myself safety and I and I and I nurtured safety at that moment in time, at the conception And when I did that, then came back to here now 44 years old okay, breeze, arizona, this thing is fine.

(30:09):
And I felt safe instantly.
And this is what I answered to you by saying timing in with a similar yeah and similar perspective like okay, we do pick up on feelings and emotion before picking up on words and meaning we give to the word.

(30:35):
Yes, I agree.
Emotion and this is what I'm shining back in by saying, okay, I nurtured safety into the photo version of myself.
That is.
You know why that's amazing And some people may tell you that's crazy.

(30:59):
But you know, if you just go back down the line all the way, at some point you you'll probably start to experience where safety started to dissipate and got stronger the further you went back.
And then when you get back to the point where there are no memories and no language and no picture stories, then where are you?

(31:28):
I guess you could be in the womb, you could never really know, but you can't say it's not.
I like that thought without words.
It is because that that is in most cases the ultimate safe place And the baby cries when born because of the shock to the system and the immediate touch of the mother Reinstills Safety exactly.

(32:05):
Because the baby knows who the mother is.
Oh yeah.
The whole bio rhythm.
So safety is restored within 10 seconds birth and Doesn't stop until something stops it.

(32:29):
That is amazing.
I never thought about going all the way back on any particular and it's not.
It's not an experience, it's an emotion.
You're right.
It is, it is take the most level.
It's, it's emotion, it's feeling, it's.
You have to feel it to give it.

(32:53):
You transmit by your feeling and your feeling is so much more powerful than any words We can put.
Just think about many language.
You have at least German and English now.
Think about I don't know 200 different language.
We have to put sound To communicate what is feeling.
Yeah.
And originally we don't need words, we just feel yeah, so right, because at one point there wasn't any anyway, but certainly children who are less than one, two years old, one-year old anyway.

(33:24):
We're not speaking, they absolutely feel Every emotion thing same with animals.
They feel everything.
They have the entire spectrum of emotion, from love to fear, with survival, with everything in between.
It's funny because I think anger for children doesn't come Until when.

(33:52):
It's an emotional lack or fear that can generate anger probably it is associated yeah.
But it doesn't be.
Survivalism is menace.
Yeah, it's not, it's not coming.
Early.
Oh, it is absorbed because the parents were angry at some point during growing up in the womb and then they picked up on that Electrified yeah, that was just can be too right a, but I think still, if they felt, you know every, all their needs were met and I think they could still feel relatively safe.

(34:38):
I think so right and so yeah, but if you're trick, if you're tracing back safety, i think you know all the way.
If you're tracing back some negative thing, it could very well start there.
But I And if it continued after you're born, as you grew, i'm sure you don't have to go all the way back.
You've got enough.

(34:59):
You have enough evidence At age four, five, six, ten, fifteen, whatever it's there, and you very often will stop at the biggest explosion.
That's the one that made me how.
I am right and I had a doctor said that to me.

(35:21):
So well, tell, tell me about your child that I said, my child, who was fantastic.
That's my rent memory of it.
Yeah, and and I stick to that, yes, it's a childhood, we had everything in it, but I never felt like I wasn't safe and that was the only thing that I gauged it on.
Yeah, it was always safe.
Could be a lot of different things, but I was.

(35:42):
I never felt that I wasn't safe and I felt right, got it, but as a child.
Wow.
So when that happened, anytime that I did feel I was unfamiliar, mm-hmm.
So It's, it's also something I would have to, or had to or am still in the process of unlocking, interesting you see how I feel.

(36:09):
Right could be my holy holy, could be, and it may touch somebody else, but I do believe what you said there.
There is this interconnection.
Obviously, we can talk about How people and nurture in nature that's what we always talk about but we always sort of stop there.
What is it nature?
is it socialized or is it?

(36:30):
is it passed on?
Okay, so we choose one or the other fine end of this discussion, but that's Anything.
This is right, that is just.
That is a realization.
It is not Anything that's gonna change anything, because we're not talking about cause, impact.

(36:52):
Is it something that we can, that we want to have it or change?
I think, if you accept it, this is the way I am, you know I don't like women.
Look, that's just we leave that there.
No it.
Where did that start?
Exactly what happened.
What did that woman do to you so that you declared all women to be bad, same for men, all men?

(37:16):
Why?
oh, because I had to accept, ah.
I can't go back to that.
And how about before?
yes.
Okay, and then you.
You unlock it, yes, and I can tell you and, and, and you, as you mentioned earlier being in the 15 years of abusive relationship that is.
I experience.

(37:38):
And there's so many like I say, you're not alone.
My, my mother said to me I think I was 10 or 11 years old and I don't know why?
but she said this.
Maybe she was.
It was in a story or on a news Or something she said You have to know this only a man, only a coward, would lay his hand on the woman.

(38:03):
That was just what she said.
But for me, i will tell you this, certainly I did not ever want to be a coward in my life And I associated that with that.
But I can certainly tell you that I've never done it.

(38:25):
I It's like Superman, kryptonite, i, i and and I also have zero respect for Anyone who does and have no tolerance for it.
Very protective.
I never had any sisters.

(38:46):
They're very protective about the way I, man, treat women.
I don't I because of that equality again.
We are.
We are knowledge.
There is no better, there's no lesser or more.
We are all equal, we, we need each other.

(39:10):
I design And we have qualities that compliment.
They were designed to compliment and in order to compliment Effectively, there has to be mutual respect.
Beautiful, just, you know There is love, whether it's friendship, it is the.

(39:35):
All men are people created equal right.
Even Star Trek changed all men where no man has gone before to where no one has gone before.
We could change the Constitution, right.
Right we have the right to do so.
I think that is written.
You cannot that.
You cannot.
You can absolutely yes, but we still haven't done it in 200 something years.

(39:56):
I mean it's so young.
When you just think about the country, it's not so small compared to the 1000 and more that we have in Europe.
Yes and.
Yes, and?
and What kind of impact would that be to make that one little, seemingly insignificant change 50 years down the road?

(40:19):
That will do a.
It's going to be the butterfly effect.
Yeah going to change the entire.
Hector and everything.
Because, now we have taking.
So you know, people say, went back to the race thing.
People talk about race.
They say, well, the best thing we do stop talking about.
Okay, i, i can understand your point of view, seek to understand.

(40:43):
But on the other hand, it's written all through every document in history.
It's on the job application.
It's everywhere, things that is to me the weirdest of all, in United States only only, only.
Only they are asking you what is your race, your color, your identity, your gender, your, your religion?

(41:08):
and then they say we are not Discrimination anybody based on the soil.
Why are you asking?
Yeah, why are you asking?
Yes, but we still.
Until we completely Dissolve The root for sure, the tree of it will never die.

(41:34):
We'll go on forever.
Different forms, it will look differently, it will go on forever and that will be the thing that enables the children's children and their children to be connected to it, and I think that's, it's just so.

(41:55):
Star Trek, again, right, where no man has gone before, it's sort of universal.
Now it's where no one has gone before.
In 20 years, the children who may be watching it Won't remember it back when it said we're no man.
And Even new people now who never saw the original, will say huh, they won't even know it to be a thing.

(42:20):
And I think that's when we become unconsciously aware of Our similarities.
Rather than, right, we, we know we are the same.
We know it, there's no question.
We don't have to write it.

(42:41):
We have to talk about gender equality every day.
We have to talk about it, right, because we haven't addressed the thing That made it that way in the first place.
Let's talk about why women weren't mentioned in the Society document.
Right, that became what we are.

(43:03):
Yeah.
I mean not that they weren't meant to.
They were excluded in the long term, because that that was, and I am reading Women.
That is, that is the title of the book.
A woman, because it is a concept.
Woman- Yeah by Lillian Federman.
It's an orange book, like, like something pretty big.

(43:26):
She the author.
She explores the Concept of being a woman from the beginning of United States up until now, decade after decade, or a group of period of after group of it.
It is, i Mean we have, we have advanced so much so far, and that keeps on reminding me rules, vader.

(43:57):
Ginsburg.
Ginsburg.
Thank you exactly, Ginsburg, because the work she did to change those words in the Constitution and And have to mention men and women.
But then there is all these other genders that come up.
They them different.

(44:18):
I do not identify as men or women.
I then yeah.
Yeah, I mean they, okay, so now we have something else, so we try to to Make it bigger, but the truth is that we are so much more than what we try to take over.
We are men.
Yeah, yes, if we could just get one we are men.

(44:41):
One university.
What are you?
Okay, i'm a human being, i'm good.
I'm an animal, i'm good.
Okay, that's done.
And when I think, think animal, i really think like cats, dogs, horse, inside, that I'm in men's and let's keep it at that.
And from that perspective, as you were mentioning with so much sensitivity, we stem from the same energy and we have received individually different qualities that complement each other so that together, as a society, as of two people and much more of course, we can actually improve the state of the world, for everybody comes.

(45:29):
That is uplifting and good And that is what we can choose to foster in our soil, meaning our being to continue to grow, nurture and share and give forward.
Yes, that's the And that's the, not nirvana, but it's certainly something to aspire to.

(45:57):
And so how do we get there?
You know what is interesting, Having grown up and being raised in Switzerland.
Indeed, to me, skin color we are sure, but it never meant anything different.

(46:17):
Yes, exactly.
It just did not mean anything.
I mean look, at cats look at the number of colors.
Look at cows.
Did you see the number of colors?
Are you different because you are white, brown, black or red?
No, You are still a cat, still a cow, still a horse, still a man.
The white egg is brown, the brown egg is It's all an egg.

(46:41):
Is that?
it.
It's the same inside as it.
Yeah, the outside could be different.
Who knows why.
And why we separate them in the package.
I don't know why.
Why brown?
and white?
I don't know.
Why they are separated.
Because we try to categorize.
Okay, so why?
Why do we try to categorize?
Leave it all together.
Because together we are stronger.

(47:03):
Together, we create more.
Together, we think with more perspective.
We see the world larger.
And the world is large And I think we should see it larger, but I think we should also see it smaller.
And those are those words, right, the mench.

(47:24):
That was very good.
We caught on a really important point because we don't have a genderless word.
Human.
That is not Not familiar, is what I'm thinking.
It's not emotional.

(47:45):
Mench seems to come with it.
Honor A meaning It's kind of Honor of the right of belonging.
That's the meaning of it.
And so you can glue that together.
I suppose you could glue human together, but I think we've misused that word.

(48:11):
So I think it wouldn't do us much good to go back and say well, our universal word is now going to be human.
I think when we find the right word to enable us to truly be equal, that would be our new starting point.
Unfortunately, i don't see it happening.

(48:31):
You know what?
What I have noticed is that we have been able to steal a word from another language to convey a meaning.
Let's see mench.
Yes, maybe.
They are all mench and mench are all equal, and with that it encompasses every no discrimination, everyone is included.

(48:52):
It's not wrong, it's everybody Exactly.
So we can do that.
As of now on, we have declared, we have created because we can.
Mench has come in the English dictionary to mean every human being alive, no discrimination whatsoever.

(49:12):
Right.
No, there is no question.
what is what, what, what gender, whatever, We don't care.
If you say it's a Germanic word, that's just garbage, because Germanic language came from Middle English, came from Latin, came from blah blah.
It goes all the way back.
So you know, people will try to stop and say, well, that's just using a German word.

(49:35):
That's ridiculous, because all these words didn't start with us.
You see?
You see, i've been back thousands of years.
Oh yes, so anyway, that's the sort of a digression, but I think I think what we're, what we are talking about is.
I think this is about unlocking that which is locked in order to create that which you are aspiring to get to.

(50:09):
If it's a relationship and something is locking you in and you have to go figure out how to unlock it to get out.
If you're trying to get into a relationship and you can't, then you have to unlock the thing that's preventing you to get in, to free yourself, to be available for an emotional connection, because some people are not, and it may not be because they had a bad relationship.

(50:32):
Certainly you found Sasha.
Oh yeah, it's such a blessing And you're, and they're all, by all that you've shared with me, you should have been an emotional absolute disaster at the time.
At the moment when I met him.
oh, my God Right.
So it's fallacy to say that it's impossible to be emotionally ready, because you are probably emotionally ready years later on.

(51:02):
I think five, six years in the relationship I started to be okay, ready, and recently, and we are just at our this month, we are out, we are leaving out 10 years anniversary.
Congratulations.
Thank you, and I'm acutely aware of the healing and transformation I went through and what Sasha and George, in terms of patients and staying with me and keep on seeing my future version.

(51:37):
Let me evolve and manage and deal with everything that I came up with, and I came with a lot of garbage, a lot.
We can carry as much garbage as we can carry, and I think the only reason we are carrying it is because we either choose to or we don't know how to let it go.

(52:05):
Yes.
Therapy no.
And it is deeply ingrained in our subconscious that keeps on running the show.
So it's all the work of unwind your wings, the subconscious, and rewind your wings, the way you serve us and serve the highest good of all.
But it's not hard, right, I mean it's not hard, it's constant And it's something that consciously decisions that you do and you make over and over again.

(52:36):
Yeah, it could be.
you know they do that in behavioral, the CBT, behavioral therapy they practice that.
I've gone through that and I understand.
you know I'm not healed today.
You have to keep doing it.
It's not habit to form a habit.
It is to be consistent in accepting the change that you've made and the positive way to rationalize life and the situations that come at us.

(53:10):
So that much I've learned and it's helped me tremendously when I felt like, oh, this is the thing that's dragging me down, it's stopping me from becoming that other version.
But while I'm talking about it, i could just as easily be working on letting it go And don't want to keep it.

(53:30):
And this is where the entire work comes.
Why do you want to keep it?
What does it want you?
Okay?
Is it that?
Is it a universal truth?
Is it really true?
And when you realize, oh, it's my fear of not knowing where I'm going to go.
If I don't believe that, oh okay, so how about I discover what it could mean, now that I know I'm not in fear anymore?

(53:54):
So now I can release and let go and discover so much better, so much better.
Yes.
How about that?
That is, i think, if you know, my life in helping anyone to get to that place.

(54:14):
Those are worthy miracles.
Yeah.
It's not even you know, because people want to be free Yeah, whatever definition that is for them, we do want that.
It could be emotional freedom, financial, whatever it is, but freedom resonates And being captive is the opposite.

(54:42):
If you're not free, you're captive of something Your emotions, your thoughts, your.
It's not your partner that is capturing you, it is the emotion or the physical, something, condition, whatever it is.
And until we began to unlock that, i think and address it and realize that, well, if I let it go you said it then what am I going to do next?

(55:09):
And what will I have to replace it Right And tell me are you?
you must be, you must be experiencing that in some of your talks with people.
A lot a lot.
You know when you took, when you take my author show real talk, real women breaking the silence around abuse.

(55:34):
We are diving.
We only, first of all, we interview only strong, powerful, visionary women who have prevailed over some sort of abuse and are now a business owner, helping people in some way or another.
So that's pretty much.
But that means another thing The level of conversation.

(55:54):
We understand each other.
We are equal to equal.
We talk the same language.
We know how it feels like to be victim of narcissistic abuse when that is the topic.
We know how it feels like to stay in a toxic relationship and why we do that.
We know how it feels like to shift around our mindset from fear, from victim, to gratitude, to abundance, to welcoming the new, to acknowledging our strengths, to our weaknesses, and we speak the same language.

(56:33):
So it is.
It is absolutely gorgeous to share that level of intensity with similar people, because we all are similar people because of the kind of things we do in our author show Right, right, and then so, so, in the segue to uplifting right, yes, so what you're talking about is that, that, that, that that likeness, that homogenous aspect of women who are in business, who are, who have, who are visionary and who have survived and battled abuse.

(57:09):
So now, once, once, once you're having this conversation, and they become more comfortable, maybe more aware, maybe more confident that I'm not alone here, that's not just me hiding my own story.
There's so many stories And so I can feel like I'm not alone.
Now they've unlocked something and that's the ability to maybe be loved or and then be, without having to control it, but to understand what their needs are, And it could be able to communicate that and to say and to understand that it's okay.

(57:46):
So translate that into the workplace, which is where I spent, you know, my, my time And I and I have.
You know I'm not going to pat myself on the back, but I've, i've made it a point of creating diverse teams where I empowering women, because in a lot of ways, my bias says that they're oftentimes better than their male counterparts.

(58:17):
And it's not the typing, It's not, it is a lot of multitasking, managing, because that is a lot of what women are are are doing at very young ages watching the children doing their school, being mom, cleaning, doing whatever, and so they're they're.
Then they're playing sports, being so they're doing all these things that you know, in in some situations, boys don't do.

(58:44):
I'm just going to call it out for what it is.
So for me in the workplace, my successes in teams.
They were not successful when the balance was not there, where women at the table had an equal voice to the men at the table, and then, together with me as the manager, they presented me an equal voice that was not biased by gender or any other descriptor.

(59:14):
So, I have a great deal, immense deal, of respect for the ability And so uplifting them that's the thing uplifted me because I got to watch that And I got to grow into that and from that I met today.

(59:41):
we had a little Saturday occasion.
I went to a funeral of a longtime employee and I met some old colleagues because I had recently retired and one of their spouses came to me and touched me on the elbow and said you know you, you're a good boss.
And I said you don't even know me.

(01:00:04):
And they said yes, i do, because my spouse comes home every day And when it was a good day or it was a bad day, some part of it you evened out for them.
And so being able to help people feel better because they do do better when they feel better, there's no doubt.

(01:00:35):
Yes, you do.
That's true To.
to help them, because we're not alone in this right.
This is, you know, i can.
you can make somebody feel bad.
You can make somebody feel good.
if you had the choice, why wouldn't you go out of your way to help them feel better about themselves, one better about me?
I could be my ego, let my ego in the game and say, hey, if I can make you feel better about you, you're going to make me feel better about me.

(01:01:00):
And we both went And I want your opinion about things And I want you to.
because if you go home and say nobody listens to me, then we've lost the whole, we've defeated the whole thing.
And it's just not hard to do.
And I don't understand why managers in that case struggle with diversity in their workplace.

(01:01:22):
It's the most beautiful thing.
It is the most beautiful thing And you.
it is the most diverse.
It is the most rich.
Yeah.
It is the most and all encompassing, with many more abilities than when we just speak with one, one category of people Right And it is the manager's role to make it better.

(01:01:44):
It's not the employee's role, it's the manager's ultimate task and and opportunity.
More than a task, because you're given this canvas of whatever it is with the people and then finding the right place for the right person and then coupling them up with another person that can create another, a new alternative, then rounding it out with all of the things and and making it also a social, because if you're working 40 hours, you are, you are spending more time at work than you are with your family.

(01:02:29):
It happens.
Yeah, Well, I mean when you, when you worked outside.
Yes, yeah, That's right.
So if you work, you work outside, yes, so that engagement should have value, not equal value, not family, but it's family in a certain sense in our societal.
So I think, i think as we are uplifting each other, then we all become, because all ships rise with the tide right.

(01:02:56):
So as we are uplifting and it's so little effort required, it's not much required, it's a little bit of observation, it's a lot of listening and it's balance, create balance.
If I'm balanced, i can balance the team of people, the manager or whatever, And I and I, and I think the uplifting starts there.

(01:03:19):
I think it starts with one me unlocking the thing that's preventing me, because if I can't uplift somebody, maybe because I'm not feeling like I am.
I can.
So I mean, yeah, yeah, i can go along, but that's.
But I think those are in.

(01:03:39):
There.
Is the, is the?
is the the the kernel of something?
that is the?
that's.
That's like splitting the atom.
It's in there.
The answer to the universe of our problems is in our emotional and our social health.

(01:03:59):
Is is right back to men.
Then some things that offshoot from that right, some golden rules to treat them as you want to be treated.
That is very simple.
I'm going to use mentioned the title of her episode and I'm going to make it two episodes because it's like really valuable.

(01:04:21):
I absolutely love our conversation, thank you, we do have some.
Yes, we've, we've had some.
This was a good one And this was oh gosh.
I could go on forever, but I know our time is limited.
But that's all you did.
I appreciate that a lot.
I really, i really want to thank you.
I don't know where we are on our, on our time, but I really want to say, before we have to just go, thank you for helping to give a a small direction to to the conversation that got us to this, to this word, to this mench, because I think when we take that, you and your world, and me and mine and our combined effort, we will unlock more that that will will give people aha moments about themselves and about others.

(01:05:23):
Oh my gosh, if we could create that, help help spawn that thing.
it eradicates these manmade barriers.
We are all mench.
That's the name of the book.
I love it.
I love it.
We are all mench.
Well, listen, are we at our?
zenith, We are, we are we are going to wrap it up.

(01:05:43):
Thank you very, very very much.
Thank you for having me I will.
I will cherish this conversation and my memory and I will get my own.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
You are amazing.
I will get my own download and this is.

(01:06:05):
this is amazing And you are an amazing, absolutely amazing mensch.
Oh thank you And hosts.
So, and so are you, and so are you.
Welcome to Uplift inspiring stories to uplift the world.
It is a show that transcends cultures and borders to bring you the most heartwarming, uplifting and inspiring stories from around the globe.
In a world where negativity can sometimes feel all-encompassing, it is crucial to be reminded of the incredible capacity for goodness in humanity.
Each week, i will share a new story of resilience, courage and triumph from a guest.
These stories will leave you feeling inspired and uplifted as you witness the extraordinary things people are capable of achieving.
Today, coming from San Diego in California, we have Peter Muse.
He's a friend of mine, an Army veteran, retired civil servant, business owner of several businesses in the USA and in Germany, career Development and Human Resources Manager.
Peter loves to have people to teach and to travel.
His businesses are Begin Swiss Family this is how I met him with his spouse and business partner, rebecca And currently he focuses on Lifestyle Leap, a Begin Swiss Family venture.
Peter, thank you so much for being here today.
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you, gemma.
thank you for that wonderful introduction.
It's really great to sit with you and have a conversation.
Yes, like you said, we met a couple of years ago while exploring other possibilities and collaborating with some online ventures, very often to come on the other side of COVID and meet up and be able to enjoy a conversation with you.
So thank you for having me.
It's absolutely an honor, it's a pleasure and I'm very excited to have this conversation with you today.
Thank you.
Great to be here.
When we think about uplifting stories, there is all these cultural differences from all kinds of backgrounds.
You come as an African American and you have lived in Germany as well, as you are currently living in San Diego, california.
That brings a cultural sensitivity that a few people can really say that they own, and they have.
Tell us a little bit about that interesting background.
So yes, that is.
It's funny in a way.
You ask it that way.
I was reflecting back on life just this morning as I was watching a video about the history of African Americans in different parts of the USA, and there are many, many cultural differences between different segments of our population, of our culture.
As you know, and my experience, i grew up in New Jersey and my childhood was in what we call suburbia, where there was a multitude of different cultures And what I now know, that many of these families had emigrated from Europe.
So I had Hungarian neighbors and didn't really realize until just recently that back then the father or the grandfather didn't speak English And I just thought they weren't very talkative.
Now I know they didn't speak very good English.
My best friend was.
His father was born in Hungary, but he did speak English, his grandfather didn't, and so I began and Greeks and from Greece and from Poland and from mostly Central Europe, italians who had been there a little bit longer, but this was in the Irish And that was my community And growing up it was the melting pot.
I really believed that that was the microcosm of the United States.
I joined the army back in 1981, long ago And that's where I met, really immersed in people from around the United States, in different cultures.
So then I learned people from the Midwest, from the West, north, pacific, northwest, and then all of the different cultures, all so many associated with these different countries.
I think, by the way they, by the way they migrated across America as pioneer families, as migrating families or whatever, i began to learn that people changed, they changed things to adapt and adapt to the situation.
So if potatoes are the crop that the Irish used to escape and be famine, it has become a staple around the country for many different because they brought that here.
So it's things like that in every culture.
The Asian culture, chinese food and all of the different things that are here are not just what we would call old world, they are uniquely Americanized.
So the backstory to that is when I joined the army and met these different people and my first assignment was overseas, in Germany, i then experienced the old world for what it was.
I mean I walked into taverns that were a thousand years old, a thousand, and America has nothing I mean from Europe.
so you understand that And I was.
it's something you, maybe we knew that Europe was old, but not to sit in a place where somebody was actually sitting and dining five six hundred years ago.
And so I gained a great respect for cultures.
That had me traveling a little bit in a smaller space.
I didn't get everywhere My bucket list is still so open with places in Europe that I want to go But I understood and began to learn the cultures.
So Germany, this place.
People talk about German beer, for example.
It is a when people have a beer in the United States and it's called a Pils or a Lysin beer or something that it is a tribute to that beer.
But when I was there in a monastery or a place where they brewed it, it is such a fine art and so heavily regulated It must be perfect, at least in the process.
And that's what I learned about people in Germany, these processes And then the technical know-how.
I married a German woman and have.
My children are German and they grew up in Germany and they went to school in Germany, and so I got to compare the German schools to the American schools, where I thought I want my children to go to American school because USA, we are the best.
And I very quickly learned to rethink that And later today I will tell you it's not even close.
I'm so happy my children went to school there because of the skills that they learned that were just foundational.
That don't happen here in America.
And why am I telling you about this?
Because in America now we are really faced with struggles that do encompass culture, because culture and religion, not talking religion but these differences are also, many of them, connected to very old traditions, and I was thinking about this more when we started to talk.
But now as I'm talking, the people, many people in America we talk about people in Europe being socialists, not talking politics, but just as a way of life, And I thought if or too liberal or something.
And I thought if we, if we weren't liberal, we wouldn't have women voting, we wouldn't have diversity and inclusion, we wouldn't have so many things we wouldn't have if some liberal didn't say these are the things we need for our society, when in Germany there's very, very little homelessness, there's very, very little people who don't have health care, there's very low unemployment and most of the children end up learning a trade before they're 17 or 18 years old, and that is not something that I would call socialist, but that's the label that so many Americans here now is the point, who have never experienced it there, where I was amazed by it, i came to totally respect it, and it wasn't just Germany, it was all the surrounding countries.
And now, as we have, as the fall of the Soviet Union and all of that, and the countries in Eastern Europe have also adopted these principles and they are furthering that Where here in the States we are holding on to something.
Very often we hold on to things that that might be of tradition, that I think we don't even know why, and I think partly because we don't open our perspective to really try to understand, if you So I'm a fan of Stephen Covey and the habits, the seven habits of highly successful, effective people.
It's learning to understand.
Seeking first to understand is how it goes The other person before we can judge, condemn or counter or even engage in conversation, and I think the stresses that that, even in talking about this show And what it's about, i think the things that put us in a position where we need to be uplifted also stem from what one of my mentors said stinking thinking There's not so much garbage, and it clouds our ability to see new possibilities.
We don't want to listen to the other person because we automatically think they're wrong and then, when things don't go right for us, we feel dejected, but we're not, i don't think we're taking as a society and I will say we, because I think we all have moments where we're guilty of the narrow band not so not having a vision.
I'm going to go back to Europe for a second because I had an experience that was personal.
It wasn't very, it's not a big story, but I was in Italy now stationed in Italy in 1986 or so and I was going to a friend's house and walking down the street, after parking my car, with another friend, we were going about two doors away from the place that we were going to and there was a wedding and it was very lively, very loud, and they were dancing.
It was in the driveway, right.
So people were spread from the house to the backyard, to the front in the driveway and we were walking through the people and a gentleman came out and he said hey, come on in, didn't know us, knew, obviously we were American, but he was a time and he brought it in.
Yeah, he knew, and I mean I'm black and the guy that was with me, i think, was white or Latino.
But he invited us in, gave us wine, talked with us, invited us to dance, and I thought isn't that how we could be able to treat each other How successful and how positive of a?
and that was 35 years ago, more than 35 years ago.
It's still a very prominent memory for me, because it tells me the world can be good no matter what, and you don't have to know someone.
And so I, yeah, so, anyway, that's that's a beautiful memory and indeed, indeed, I remember I'm originally from Switzerland, with Hungarian roots.
You don't have to buy that.
Yes, I do Like.
mother and all her family originally are from Hungary and they fled 1956, when the year my mother was born, they fled to Switzerland.
So I was born and raised in Switzerland as of 1978.
I came to it later.
And that actually is the route where I grew up, i was born and raised for how long Until 34 years ago, before I came to California.
Wow, i've spent time in Hungary, so I love it.
Yes, that's beautiful especially with your story and your, your relation to Hungary.
That's interesting, yeah, indeed, the culture is that when there is a party, a celebration, a wedding, we meet people we don't know, we have never seen, but we assume the good, we assume everybody is good, everybody is going to come rejoice for that wedding, rejoice for that baby shower, rejoice for that birthday, something.
We don't have to know everybody.
But when we are in that, in that party mood, like okay, let's celebrate together, yeah, everybody's welcome And that is normal.
Now you take that out of context and you go in Switzerland, in the French speaking region where I was born and raised Geneva, lausanne and all the regions And you go in the public transportation.
You're going to see a very different picture of the same people who would welcome you.
During a party, nobody looks at each other, avoid to see each other.
Because, they're Because, because we're raised that way, we are taught that way.
It's not natural.
We are taught culturally that way in Geneva, in Lausanne.
And when one person coming from elsewhere typically United States come, typically on a mission I'm thinking about the Mormon with their black tag and like trying to connect with the local people, say hello and see what they can do to help.
You know, and you look at them and you are here.
Oh my God, don't look at me.
You see how you are raised over there.
He's like why?
And that's the same culture that's been indeed partied with whoever they don't know for a celebration.
Culture differences, same people, I'm telling you from within.
Well, you know, it's interesting in Germany I think it may be also and I don't want to say colder, just I think and maybe the Germans are more aligned with Swiss than they would be with the Mediterranean.
So in Hungary I think it was sort of in the middle when I was there But family restaurants in Hungary are absolutely amazing and you cannot as much there's little to compare to even the Italians or the Germans that family restaurant in Hungary that I went to several and it was always come back the next time and you were like a member of the family.
So I this is.
Then this became part of my own personal DNA And so, even though there are, you know, disparities in America with race, with culture, with gender, with age, and we do treat people very often a certain way because of these things over in Europe, they could see the color of my skin And they knew either I was American or African, but depending on where I was, they knew more Americans.
So they assumed me to be an American And if there was a prejudice it was towards the, the American part, and not the color part.
And I found that they did not really understand the race issues of the United States.
Yeah because they were not in a, they were not, you know, france or Portugal or England, or colonizing.
They didn't really understand it.
And the people today?
so you know, when I, when it was in my younger years, and I was dating and dating young German ladies because we're in Germany it was really to understand this difference between people, we could get to what the Germans and the Swiss would use the word mench, right, human.
That's who we are, and if we could ever just be that all, what a starting place we could have, even so late in the game.
That's at the core of what we are not about race, human race, this race, that race, mench, human.
Start there, and I think that's what set me on the course to become an instructor, to become Peter, to become human resources and manage careers and coach and mentor people, because there's, there's always something inside of all of us where that mench exists Exactly, and I think many people don't know how to unlock it.
That is a powerful thing that you bring up, because that understanding that we are all equal And when you look at the constitution, it's like all men are equal.
And then there was this implication if you are white, if you are male and if you're Christian, so if you are none of that's one of the men it's like.
Oh okay, so suppose everybody, every living being, is created equal.
That is the actual, real meaning that is taken into consideration in Europe And that is what would be good for American society.
So you write this case to actually encompass more of And it takes time.
It takes decades, but it takes time.
And I think, gemma, that Europe still has some of the same when it comes to male and female disparities.
I am sure that still exists.
But I think, and even even the acceptance of different cultures within a society, when people from other cultures moved into different countries in Germany or different countries in Europe because they were a refugee somewhere else or whatever, i think because they didn't have this old foundational constitutional something barrier, they were able to more quickly react and accept the people who were different.
Germany was 90 something percent German people when I first got there, when I went last year, i thought we are the Germans.
In the meantime, there was that gigantic migration I think it was 2015 or something where so many have to migrate and settle in Germany and have to organize themselves and create a new life for themselves and their family.
I put the German people, the German government.
Sure, there's two sides to the agreement of whether they should do that or accept that, or promote that or not, but I believe that universally they were more open to it than we would be.
Oh yeah, by principle, by culture by how you were taught and raised first.
Yes, and we talk about refugees from Afghanistan, for example, not to get too far off.
But it is part of what goes into our mindset, our thinking and our ability, going back to that, to unlock unlimited power, because I really think we put the lid on.
You know, donald Maxwell said law of the lid.
We lock it here and we don't go above it.
So this is our parameter and we don't change.
This is our neighborhood, this is what it's looked like for 50 years.
I want it to stay.
It's not so much I don't like the person moving in.
I don't want to change.
I understand that.
And that is one of the old ways of our brain to maintain safety.
What is familiar is safe, regardless if it is actually secure or safe or not, but if it is familiar, it's safe.
And, by the way, this is how you can stay in toxic relationships.
Yes, if you're familiar, you know it.
It's not good, but you know it.
So you know exactly how it's going to go Here, there, there, there.
Okay, so you know it.
So this is how I was, by the way, able to stay 15 years living in domestic violence before I met Sasha.
Yeah, because it was familiar.
So you think you know it, or you?
feel it, exactly, exactly That is yeah, And many and many people share that story.
I know you've unlocked hundreds of stories of people who are very similar, but don't talk about it.
I mean, I was in a relationship that was.
I only talk about it in some circles because I don't.
You know, I don't want to speak ill of anyone, But it was of.
It was not a relationship that was healthy, I understand.
I think it's a very different state in it for all the different reasons you can imagine, from for the other person, for the children, for my own fear of something, for my immaturity.
I don't want the convenience And and I thought, okay, I'm fine, Everything's fine.
I have adopted to this, I've adjusted myself to the conditions that may not be the best for me, Right, I'm sure you can speak to that 100%.
Right.
So okay, i know it's not.
It's not that bad because because surely I'm not on the street, because surely this and not that and the other thing, and then we're, we're feared.
We have fear because we're not comfortable, but we are familiar and and leaving or doing something would be very unfamiliar And that's very counter to our thinking.
That's right And and and again.
I think in the way we live, the way we treat each other in relationships, the way we treat ourselves and our own personal relationship, all of that must have partly to do with life experiences.
But there's also generational culture.
I think we we leave way too far off the conversation.
Things are passed down without being put in word on paper.
They are passed down subliminally.
They are passed down through little nuances in the culture, little competitions with dinner that are harmless, but they stick.
They do.
And although I might think a certain way about a certain people or a certain person man, women, people of a different culture, whatever those are created here, they may be fed, but they are certainly incubated in my own If, i, if, because if I chose to accept them, that means that I took the thought right, i processed it and I said, okay, i don't like spinach, whatever it is.
And in a way, in fact, I love spinach.
I always have spinach at home, Yeah.
I love it, we grow it, but that's the thing, right, and so sometimes You have this gigantic garden.
I remember some garden feature with so big carrots like set on, yeah, and so I think you know our, and so just even in this conversation, we are we're, we're using the barriers to expose them.
Yes.
And I think anybody that needs to, to be unlocked, unhinged, unsomething, or or.
That's why my lifestyle leap was this, it's.
I started a, a, a thought page, something a few years before it was.
Changing how you live was the name of the thing prior to lifestyle leap, And I and I did that because I wanted to talk about people changing, changing, changing something, because so many people talk about how things aren't good But nobody's really talking about changing, just talking about the problems.
This is the right.
They're not sure there are so many people that don't have that issue.
They're headfirst into changing, adapting, adopting, and some people are, like you said, very familiar.
This is where I am hometown, never left the same job.
We all work there generations long.
No, we can't buy a house.
No, we can't do that, but that's And that's how it starts.
And the children pick that up.
Believe me, in 2040, they'll be telling the same story.
I know that you know, one of the big inner work I did, and I'm still doing, is to, once I have pinpointed a belief that was that was bestowed on me from the moment I was alive, on this life, in terms of realizing that actually this believe is not serving my higher goods.
And when I can really pinpoint that one, the work I do is to then close my eyes, go back in time at the moment.
I actually pick that up And one of the beliefs I did pick it up while I was in the womb of my mother And I noticed that I was able to really like boil it down so precisely.
So what I did is to come back at that moment in time, because you can.
And I realized, whoa, i'm not going to communicate in word, in French or in English, this is not how I'm going to communicate.
I'm going to communicate a feeling of safety to that.
So this version of myself safety and I and I and I nurtured safety at that moment in time, at the conception And when I did that, then came back to here now 44 years old okay, breeze, arizona, this thing is fine.
And I felt safe instantly.
And this is what I answered to you by saying timing in with a similar yeah and similar perspective like okay, we do pick up on feelings and emotion before picking up on words and meaning we give to the word.
Yes, I agree.
Emotion and this is what I'm shining back in by saying, okay, I nurtured safety into the photo version of myself.
That is.
You know why that's amazing And some people may tell you that's crazy.
But you know, if you just go back down the line all the way, at some point you you'll probably start to experience where safety started to dissipate and got stronger the further you went back.
And then when you get back to the point where there are no memories and no language and no picture stories, then where are you?
I guess you could be in the womb, you could never really know, but you can't say it's not.
I like that thought without words.
It is because that that is in most cases the ultimate safe place And the baby cries when born because of the shock to the system and the immediate touch of the mother Reinstills Safety exactly.
Because the baby knows who the mother is.
Oh yeah.
The whole bio rhythm.
So safety is restored within 10 seconds birth and Doesn't stop until something stops it.
That is amazing.
I never thought about going all the way back on any particular and it's not.
It's not an experience, it's an emotion.
You're right.
It is, it is take the most level.
It's, it's emotion, it's feeling, it's.
You have to feel it to give it.
You transmit by your feeling and your feeling is so much more powerful than any words We can put.
Just think about many language.
You have at least German and English now.
Think about I don't know 200 different language.
We have to put sound To communicate what is feeling.
Yeah.
And originally we don't need words, we just feel yeah, so right, because at one point there wasn't any anyway, but certainly children who are less than one, two years old, one-year old anyway.
We're not speaking, they absolutely feel Every emotion thing same with animals.
They feel everything.
They have the entire spectrum of emotion, from love to fear, with survival, with everything in between.
It's funny because I think anger for children doesn't come Until when.
It's an emotional lack or fear that can generate anger probably it is associated yeah.
But it doesn't be.
Survivalism is menace.
Yeah, it's not, it's not coming.
Early.
Oh, it is absorbed because the parents were angry at some point during growing up in the womb and then they picked up on that Electrified yeah, that was just can be too right a, but I think still, if they felt, you know every, all their needs were met and I think they could still feel relatively safe.
I think so right and so yeah, but if you're trick, if you're tracing back safety, i think you know all the way.
If you're tracing back some negative thing, it could very well start there.
But I And if it continued after you're born, as you grew, i'm sure you don't have to go all the way back.
You've got enough.
You have enough evidence At age four, five, six, ten, fifteen, whatever it's there, and you very often will stop at the biggest explosion.
That's the one that made me how.
I am right and I had a doctor said that to me.
So well, tell, tell me about your child that I said, my child, who was fantastic.
That's my rent memory of it.
Yeah, and and I stick to that, yes, it's a childhood, we had everything in it, but I never felt like I wasn't safe and that was the only thing that I gauged it on.
Yeah, it was always safe.
Could be a lot of different things, but I was.
I never felt that I wasn't safe and I felt right, got it, but as a child.
Wow.
So when that happened, anytime that I did feel I was unfamiliar, mm-hmm.
So It's, it's also something I would have to, or had to or am still in the process of unlocking, interesting you see how I feel.
Right could be my holy holy, could be, and it may touch somebody else, but I do believe what you said there.
There is this interconnection.
Obviously, we can talk about How people and nurture in nature that's what we always talk about but we always sort of stop there.
What is it nature?
is it socialized or is it?
is it passed on?
Okay, so we choose one or the other fine end of this discussion, but that's Anything.
This is right, that is just.
That is a realization.
It is not Anything that's gonna change anything, because we're not talking about cause, impact.
Is it something that we can, that we want to have it or change?
I think, if you accept it, this is the way I am, you know I don't like women.
Look, that's just we leave that there.
No it.
Where did that start?
Exactly what happened.
What did that woman do to you so that you declared all women to be bad, same for men, all men?
Why?
oh, because I had to accept, ah.
I can't go back to that.
And how about before?
yes.
Okay, and then you.
You unlock it, yes, and I can tell you and, and, and you, as you mentioned earlier being in the 15 years of abusive relationship that is.
I experience.
And there's so many like I say, you're not alone.
My, my mother said to me I think I was 10 or 11 years old and I don't know why?
but she said this.
Maybe she was.
It was in a story or on a news Or something she said You have to know this only a man, only a coward, would lay his hand on the woman.
That was just what she said.
But for me, i will tell you this, certainly I did not ever want to be a coward in my life And I associated that with that.
But I can certainly tell you that I've never done it.
I It's like Superman, kryptonite, i, i and and I also have zero respect for Anyone who does and have no tolerance for it.
Very protective.
I never had any sisters.
They're very protective about the way I, man, treat women.
I don't I because of that equality again.
We are.
We are knowledge.
There is no better, there's no lesser or more.
We are all equal, we, we need each other.
I design And we have qualities that compliment.
They were designed to compliment and in order to compliment Effectively, there has to be mutual respect.
Beautiful, just, you know There is love, whether it's friendship, it is the.
All men are people created equal right.
Even Star Trek changed all men where no man has gone before to where no one has gone before.
We could change the Constitution, right.
Right we have the right to do so.
I think that is written.
You cannot that.
You cannot.
You can absolutely yes, but we still haven't done it in 200 something years.
I mean it's so young.
When you just think about the country, it's not so small compared to the 1000 and more that we have in Europe.
Yes and.
Yes, and?
and What kind of impact would that be to make that one little, seemingly insignificant change 50 years down the road?
That will do a.
It's going to be the butterfly effect.
Yeah going to change the entire.
Hector and everything.
Because, now we have taking.
So you know, people say, went back to the race thing.
People talk about race.
They say, well, the best thing we do stop talking about.
Okay, i, i can understand your point of view, seek to understand.
But on the other hand, it's written all through every document in history.
It's on the job application.
It's everywhere, things that is to me the weirdest of all, in United States only only, only.
Only they are asking you what is your race, your color, your identity, your gender, your, your religion?
and then they say we are not Discrimination anybody based on the soil.
Why are you asking?
Yeah, why are you asking?
Yes, but we still.
Until we completely Dissolve The root for sure, the tree of it will never die.
We'll go on forever.
Different forms, it will look differently, it will go on forever and that will be the thing that enables the children's children and their children to be connected to it, and I think that's, it's just so.
Star Trek, again, right, where no man has gone before, it's sort of universal.
Now it's where no one has gone before.
In 20 years, the children who may be watching it Won't remember it back when it said we're no man.
And Even new people now who never saw the original, will say huh, they won't even know it to be a thing.
And I think that's when we become unconsciously aware of Our similarities.
Rather than, right, we, we know we are the same.
We know it, there's no question.
We don't have to write it.
We have to talk about gender equality every day.
We have to talk about it, right, because we haven't addressed the thing That made it that way in the first place.
Let's talk about why women weren't mentioned in the Society document.
Right, that became what we are.
Yeah.
I mean not that they weren't meant to.
They were excluded in the long term, because that that was, and I am reading Women.
That is, that is the title of the book.
A woman, because it is a concept.
Woman- Yeah by Lillian Federman.
It's an orange book, like, like something pretty big.
She the author.
She explores the Concept of being a woman from the beginning of United States up until now, decade after decade, or a group of period of after group of it.
It is, i Mean we have, we have advanced so much so far, and that keeps on reminding me rules, vader.
Ginsburg.
Ginsburg.
Thank you exactly, Ginsburg, because the work she did to change those words in the Constitution and And have to mention men and women.
But then there is all these other genders that come up.
They them different.
I do not identify as men or women.
I then yeah.
Yeah, I mean they, okay, so now we have something else, so we try to to Make it bigger, but the truth is that we are so much more than what we try to take over.
We are men.
Yeah, yes, if we could just get one we are men.
One university.
What are you?
Okay, i'm a human being, i'm good.
I'm an animal, i'm good.
Okay, that's done.
And when I think, think animal, i really think like cats, dogs, horse, inside, that I'm in men's and let's keep it at that.
And from that perspective, as you were mentioning with so much sensitivity, we stem from the same energy and we have received individually different qualities that complement each other so that together, as a society, as of two people and much more of course, we can actually improve the state of the world, for everybody comes.
That is uplifting and good And that is what we can choose to foster in our soil, meaning our being to continue to grow, nurture and share and give forward.
Yes, that's the And that's the, not nirvana, but it's certainly something to aspire to.
And so how do we get there?
You know what is interesting, Having grown up and being raised in Switzerland.
Indeed, to me, skin color we are sure, but it never meant anything different.
Yes, exactly.
It just did not mean anything.
I mean look, at cats look at the number of colors.
Look at cows.
Did you see the number of colors?
Are you different because you are white, brown, black or red?
No, You are still a cat, still a cow, still a horse, still a man.
The white egg is brown, the brown egg is It's all an egg.
Is that?
it.
It's the same inside as it.
Yeah, the outside could be different.
Who knows why.
And why we separate them in the package.
I don't know why.
Why brown?
and white?
I don't know.
Why they are separated.
Because we try to categorize.
Okay, so why?
Why do we try to categorize?
Leave it all together.
Because together we are stronger.
Together, we create more.
Together, we think with more perspective.
We see the world larger.
And the world is large And I think we should see it larger, but I think we should also see it smaller.
And those are those words, right, the mench.
That was very good.
We caught on a really important point because we don't have a genderless word.
Human.
That is not Not familiar, is what I'm thinking.
It's not emotional.
Mench seems to come with it.
Honor A meaning It's kind of Honor of the right of belonging.
That's the meaning of it.
And so you can glue that together.
I suppose you could glue human together, but I think we've misused that word.
So I think it wouldn't do us much good to go back and say well, our universal word is now going to be human.
I think when we find the right word to enable us to truly be equal, that would be our new starting point.
Unfortunately, i don't see it happening.
You know what?
What I have noticed is that we have been able to steal a word from another language to convey a meaning.
Let's see mench.
Yes, maybe.
They are all mench and mench are all equal, and with that it encompasses every no discrimination, everyone is included.
It's not wrong, it's everybody Exactly.
So we can do that.
As of now on, we have declared, we have created because we can.
Mench has come in the English dictionary to mean every human being alive, no discrimination whatsoever.
Right.
No, there is no question.
what is what, what, what gender, whatever, We don't care.
If you say it's a Germanic word, that's just garbage, because Germanic language came from Middle English, came from Latin, came from blah blah.
It goes all the way back.
So you know, people will try to stop and say, well, that's just using a German word.
That's ridiculous, because all these words didn't start with us.
You see?
You see, i've been back thousands of years.
Oh yes, so anyway, that's the sort of a digression, but I think I think what we're, what we are talking about is.
I think this is about unlocking that which is locked in order to create that which you are aspiring to get to.
If it's a relationship and something is locking you in and you have to go figure out how to unlock it to get out.
If you're trying to get into a relationship and you can't, then you have to unlock the thing that's preventing you to get in, to free yourself, to be available for an emotional connection, because some people are not, and it may not be because they had a bad relationship.
Certainly you found Sasha.
Oh yeah, it's such a blessing And you're, and they're all, by all that you've shared with me, you should have been an emotional absolute disaster at the time.
At the moment when I met him.
oh, my God Right.
So it's fallacy to say that it's impossible to be emotionally ready, because you are probably emotionally ready years later on.
I think five, six years in the relationship I started to be okay, ready, and recently, and we are just at our this month, we are out, we are leaving out 10 years anniversary.
Congratulations.
Thank you, and I'm acutely aware of the healing and transformation I went through and what Sasha and George, in terms of patients and staying with me and keep on seeing my future version.
Let me evolve and manage and deal with everything that I came up with, and I came with a lot of garbage, a lot.
We can carry as much garbage as we can carry, and I think the only reason we are carrying it is because we either choose to or we don't know how to let it go.
Yes.
Therapy no.
And it is deeply ingrained in our subconscious that keeps on running the show.
So it's all the work of unwind your wings, the subconscious, and rewind your wings, the way you serve us and serve the highest good of all.
But it's not hard, right, I mean it's not hard, it's constant And it's something that consciously decisions that you do and you make over and over again.
Yeah, it could be.
you know they do that in behavioral, the CBT, behavioral therapy they practice that.
I've gone through that and I understand.
you know I'm not healed today.
You have to keep doing it.
It's not habit to form a habit.
It is to be consistent in accepting the change that you've made and the positive way to rationalize life and the situations that come at us.
So that much I've learned and it's helped me tremendously when I felt like, oh, this is the thing that's dragging me down, it's stopping me from becoming that other version.
But while I'm talking about it, i could just as easily be working on letting it go And don't want to keep it.
And this is where the entire work comes.
Why do you want to keep it?
What does it want you?
Okay?
Is it that?
Is it a universal truth?
Is it really true?
And when you realize, oh, it's my fear of not knowing where I'm going to go.
If I don't believe that, oh okay, so how about I discover what it could mean, now that I know I'm not in fear anymore?
So now I can release and let go and discover so much better, so much better.
Yes.
How about that?
That is, i think, if you know, my life in helping anyone to get to that place.
Those are worthy miracles.
Yeah.
It's not even you know, because people want to be free Yeah, whatever definition that is for them, we do want that.
It could be emotional freedom, financial, whatever it is, but freedom resonates And being captive is the opposite.
If you're not free, you're captive of something Your emotions, your thoughts, your.
It's not your partner that is capturing you, it is the emotion or the physical, something, condition, whatever it is.
And until we began to unlock that, i think and address it and realize that, well, if I let it go you said it then what am I going to do next?
And what will I have to replace it Right And tell me are you?
you must be, you must be experiencing that in some of your talks with people.
A lot a lot.
You know when you took, when you take my author show real talk, real women breaking the silence around abuse.
We are diving.
We only, first of all, we interview only strong, powerful, visionary women who have prevailed over some sort of abuse and are now a business owner, helping people in some way or another.
So that's pretty much.
But that means another thing The level of conversation.
We understand each other.
We are equal to equal.
We talk the same language.
We know how it feels like to be victim of narcissistic abuse when that is the topic.
We know how it feels like to stay in a toxic relationship and why we do that.
We know how it feels like to shift around our mindset from fear, from victim, to gratitude, to abundance, to welcoming the new, to acknowledging our strengths, to our weaknesses, and we speak the same language.
So it is.
It is absolutely gorgeous to share that level of intensity with similar people, because we all are similar people because of the kind of things we do in our author show Right, right, and then so, so, in the segue to uplifting right, yes, so what you're talking about is that, that, that, that that likeness, that homogenous aspect of women who are in business, who are, who have, who are visionary and who have survived and battled abuse.
So now, once, once, once you're having this conversation, and they become more comfortable, maybe more aware, maybe more confident that I'm not alone here, that's not just me hiding my own story.
There's so many stories And so I can feel like I'm not alone.
Now they've unlocked something and that's the ability to maybe be loved or and then be, without having to control it, but to understand what their needs are, And it could be able to communicate that and to say and to understand that it's okay.
So translate that into the workplace, which is where I spent, you know, my, my time And I and I have.
You know I'm not going to pat myself on the back, but I've, i've made it a point of creating diverse teams where I empowering women, because in a lot of ways, my bias says that they're oftentimes better than their male counterparts.
And it's not the typing, It's not, it is a lot of multitasking, managing, because that is a lot of what women are are are doing at very young ages watching the children doing their school, being mom, cleaning, doing whatever, and so they're they're.
Then they're playing sports, being so they're doing all these things that you know, in in some situations, boys don't do.
I'm just going to call it out for what it is.
So for me in the workplace, my successes in teams.
They were not successful when the balance was not there, where women at the table had an equal voice to the men at the table, and then, together with me as the manager, they presented me an equal voice that was not biased by gender or any other descriptor.
So, I have a great deal, immense deal, of respect for the ability And so uplifting them that's the thing uplifted me because I got to watch that And I got to grow into that and from that I met today.
we had a little Saturday occasion.
I went to a funeral of a longtime employee and I met some old colleagues because I had recently retired and one of their spouses came to me and touched me on the elbow and said you know you, you're a good boss.
And I said you don't even know me.
And they said yes, i do, because my spouse comes home every day And when it was a good day or it was a bad day, some part of it you evened out for them.
And so being able to help people feel better because they do do better when they feel better, there's no doubt.
Yes, you do.
That's true To.
to help them, because we're not alone in this right.
This is, you know, i can.
you can make somebody feel bad.
You can make somebody feel good.
if you had the choice, why wouldn't you go out of your way to help them feel better about themselves, one better about me?
I could be my ego, let my ego in the game and say, hey, if I can make you feel better about you, you're going to make me feel better about me.
And we both went And I want your opinion about things And I want you to.
because if you go home and say nobody listens to me, then we've lost the whole, we've defeated the whole thing.
And it's just not hard to do.
And I don't understand why managers in that case struggle with diversity in their workplace.
It's the most beautiful thing.
It is the most beautiful thing And you.
it is the most diverse.
It is the most rich.
Yeah.
It is the most and all encompassing, with many more abilities than when we just speak with one, one category of people Right And it is the manager's role to make it better.
It's not the employee's role, it's the manager's ultimate task and and opportunity.
More than a task, because you're given this canvas of whatever it is with the people and then finding the right place for the right person and then coupling them up with another person that can create another, a new alternative, then rounding it out with all of the things and and making it also a social, because if you're working 40 hours, you are, you are spending more time at work than you are with your family.
It happens.
Yeah, Well, I mean when you, when you worked outside.
Yes, yeah, That's right.
So if you work, you work outside, yes, so that engagement should have value, not equal value, not family, but it's family in a certain sense in our societal.
So I think, i think as we are uplifting each other, then we all become, because all ships rise with the tide right.
So as we are uplifting and it's so little effort required, it's not much required, it's a little bit of observation, it's a lot of listening and it's balance, create balance.
If I'm balanced, i can balance the team of people, the manager or whatever, And I and I, and I think the uplifting starts there.
I think it starts with one me unlocking the thing that's preventing me, because if I can't uplift somebody, maybe because I'm not feeling like I am.
I can.
So I mean, yeah, yeah, i can go along, but that's.
But I think those are in.
There.
Is the, is the?
is the the the kernel of something?
that is the?
that's.
That's like splitting the atom.
It's in there.
The answer to the universe of our problems is in our emotional and our social health.
Is is right back to men.
Then some things that offshoot from that right, some golden rules to treat them as you want to be treated.
That is very simple.
I'm going to use mentioned the title of her episode and I'm going to make it two episodes because it's like really valuable.
I absolutely love our conversation, thank you, we do have some.
Yes, we've, we've had some.
This was a good one And this was oh gosh.
I could go on forever, but I know our time is limited.
But that's all you did.
I appreciate that a lot.
I really, i really want to thank you.
I don't know where we are on our, on our time, but I really want to say, before we have to just go, thank you for helping to give a a small direction to to the conversation that got us to this, to this word, to this mench, because I think when we take that, you and your world, and me and mine and our combined effort, we will unlock more that that will will give people aha moments about themselves and about others.
Oh my gosh, if we could create that, help help spawn that thing.
it eradicates these manmade barriers.
We are all mench.
That's the name of the book.
I love it.
I love it.
We are all mench.
Well, listen, are we at our?
zenith, We are, we are we are going to wrap it up.
Thank you very, very very much.
Thank you for having me I will.
I will cherish this conversation and my memory and I will get my own.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
You are amazing.
I will get my own download and this is.
this is amazing And you are an amazing, absolutely amazing mensch.
Oh thank you And hosts.
So, and so are you, and so are you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Okay, with that, i will probably you stop it or I click the button, but either way, thank you, gemma.
I will give you one more acknowledgement and we will talk.

(01:06:27):
Thank you, at our next time.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Okay, with that, i will probably you stop it or I click the button, but either way, thank you, gemma.
I will give you one more acknowledgement and we will talk.
Thank you, at our next time.
Thank you.

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