20 Years in a Neurodiverse Marriage | Part 2 with Laura Schreiner

How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul?

In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other.

💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack:

Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partner How her husband’s communication “black belt” surprised her  What changed when she detached from emotional outcomes Why understanding your own expectations is essential—especially if you're the one doing all the work Her husband’s take: “We’re not opposites. We’re complementary puzzle pieces.”

This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity!

📍 Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1 01:24 Setting Boundaries as a Neurodivergent Parent 03:50 “Fixing Autism” vs. Doing the Personal Work 06:02 Her Communication “Black Belt” Analogy 07:07 How Feelings are Impacted by What We Choose to Believe 09:19 Somatic Tools for Regulating Relationship Tension 11:39 Doing the Inner Work—Even If the Relationship Doesn’t Last 14:37 How One Breakthrough Shifted Their Marriage 17:06 Codependency, Expectations & the Myth of the “Perfect Partner” 19:16 What If Leaving Isn’t So Simple? 24:24 How We Define Progress in Neurodiverse Relationships 29:01 Letting Go of Expectations & Receiving What’s Given 34:00 We Both Still Like Chicken 35:00 “We’re Complementary Puzzle Pieces” (Her Husband’s Final Insight)

✨ About Laura Schreiner:

Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.

Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.

To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com 

👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 

💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App

Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.

🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai

#neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.