From masking to neurodiverse marriage, bestselling author J.D. Barker gets real about life as an autistic adult.
In this podcast episode, neurodiverse relationship coach Jodi Carlton talks with New York Times bestselling author JDBarker, who shares what was like for him to navigate life, love, and fatherhood - and autism. From high-stakes careers in finance and IT to ghostwriting blockbusters and becoming a full-time novelist, J.D. reflects on how autism has shaped his relationships, routines, and creative process.
He also gets candid about building a neurodiverse marriage with his neurotypical wife, parenting a neurodivergent daughter, and the personal growth that came with learning to embrace—not mask—his autistic traits.
💬 What you’ll hear in this episode:
The surprising way J.D. was diagnosed with autism at 22 Why masking often feels like “playing a part” in social settings How he and his wife created emotional safety and mutual respect in their marriage What it looks like to be a team—not adversaries—as neurodiverse partners The “loop-closing” need in autistic brains—and how it affects everyday routines Why creativity is often misunderstood in autism (and how it became his superpower) What he tells parents of autistic children about what’s possible for their future.
Whether you’re autistic, in a neurodiverse relationship, or parenting a neurodivergent child, this conversation is full of practical insights, encouragement, and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of autism in adulthood and family life.
00:00 Welcome to Season 5
00:57 Meet J.D. Barker
01:37 J.D.’s Diagnosis Story
03:12 Life as an Autistic Adult
06:02 Autism & Parenting a Neurodivergent Child
08:23 Understanding ND Traits in Relationships
10:25 From Corporate Burnout to Bestselling Author: How J.D.’s Wife Helped Him Reclaim His Life
19:52 Creativity, Career & the Autistic Brain
22:24 J.D.’s Superpower: Mimicking Author Voices
23:04 Becoming a Bestselling Author
24:25 Breaking the Creativity Myth in Autism
26:14 The Writing Process & Pattern Recognition
28:29 Researching Characters & Emotional Nuance
30:32 Emotional Differences in a Neurodiverse Marriage
32:24 Communication, Trust & Mutual Respect
36:06 Advice for Autistic Creatives
37:21 Final Reflections
🎥 Keep watching to explore more episodes in Season 5 and discover how other neurodiverse couples are navigating life, love, and everything in between. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29
📚 About J.D. Barker:
J.D. Barker is a New York Times and international bestselling author known for gripping, genre-blending thrillers that weave suspense, horror, mystery, and science fiction into unforgettable stories. His acclaimed novels include Dracul (co-authored with Dacre Stoker), the 4MK series, and multiple collaborations with James Patterson, such as The Coast-to-Coast Murders and The Noise.
Explore his books and learn more: www.jdbarker.com
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👩💼 About Your Host:
Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com
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