March 19, 2025 • 35 mins
The Biden administration would rather let two astronauts rot in space than let Elon look good. There’s a reason sharks follow cruise ships. Steel your heart against The System’s propaganda. The democrat party just hates men now.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show, Final hour of the Jesse Kelly Show on
a magnificent Wednesday, a hofday. And I don't know about you.
I'm having a great time. Before we get to the emails,
and before we get to Wisconsin, we got to pay
attention to Wisconsin. Tim Wallas is a huge goober dork,
(00:33):
and Chris and Corey are turning against me. I'll discuss
that in just a moment. I promised you something. One
more little tidbit here, speaking of the fake news and
how they lie about every single thing. Why does your
liberal and Peggy live in a world of make believe?
I'm gonna play you this is a local news story. Now,
(00:53):
before I play it, I want you to know something.
The woman they're discussing here, she pled, pleaded, pled whatever.
I didn't go to a college, guilty to a federal
drug charge. Guilty by your own admission. This is somebody,
(01:15):
not a citizen here, who got involved in dealing drugs,
all right, accepted a plea deal. Now that's not the story.
The story is. I want you to listen to this
news segment. You don't have to time it on a
stopwatch or anything like that, but just kind of in
the back of your mind, do account on how long
(01:36):
it is before they get to that little tidbit. She
was deported to Laos about one week ago.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's a country where she doesn't know a soul or
speak the language. Oh, I were loved to come back
by all my children.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm crying.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I pray every day.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Over video chat, you can sense Ma Yang's desperation to
return to Wisconsin. She tells me that she is staying
on a compound in Laos with guards. I want to say,
I've been here for eight days.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Two days ago they finally were a month to take
me to Robaphone.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Family of the South Milwaukee woman is scrambling to try
and get her back after she was deported to Laos.
Ma Yang has five children, including twenty two year old Asia.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And my mom always been like the rock.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Very just a heads up. We are about thirty to
forty seconds at least into this news story. We know
her name, we know she's praying. We've heard from multiple
family members. In fact, if you watch the local news story,
you've seen pictures in video of this lovely little family.
Still that's the only informations.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So Yang is Mung. She was born in a refugee
camp in Thailand before her parents fled to the US.
In twenty twenty, Yang pleaded guilty for her role in
a federal drug case and order to serve thirty months,
impacting her legal status. Yang says she took the deal
based on legal advice.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
At the time.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I wasn't aware that if I plead guilty to it,
it would check my status of my permanent residents cause.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
The Executive Office for Immigration Review tells me that in
December twenty twenty two, records show that a judge ordered
Yang's removal. Last month, Yang reported for a check in
and was detained. Family says she was taken to Chicago,
transfer to Indiana, then back to Chicago to be sent
to LAOS.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
That was in total a minute in twenty nine seconds.
I know because I have it on my handy little
soundboard here that has little gems like that I love
you bag and what was that five seconds Fellas we
got to hear about the crimes, she committed. That is
why your liberal ant Peggy is a complete deranged nutcase.
(03:50):
That's exactly why. All right, just so we're clear, Oh, Oh,
there's also this we talked in the opening of the
hour about Well, there was a lot we talked about,
but one part of it was how when an assassination happens,
like the assassination of JFK, how it kind of shatters
(04:11):
your illusions about the country you live in. That's something
that happens only other places, not here. Well, I'm going
to play you something. This is from a nor AD
General Gregory Gillyoh. I think it's how you said. It's
I don't know the Guillo gia something like that, but
he's General nor Ad. I want you to listen to
(04:32):
what he says about China and the drones over our
military basis.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Drones could fly over a major air force base and
we couldn't stop them.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
How is that possible?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Well, I think the threat got ahead of our ability
to detect and track the threat. I think all eyes
were rightfully overseas where UAVs were being used on one
way attack to attack US and coalition service members, and
the threat into US probably caught us by surprise a
(05:09):
little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
We were unable to stop the threat. China can fly
drones over our military basis and we can't stop it.
Have you wondered why Donald Trump is talking about the
iron dome here? Did that strike you by surprise? It's
not hard to figure out why a country like Israel
would want an iron dome. You know what iron dome is.
(05:33):
It's essentially a system of missile defense where they shoot
missiles into the sky to shoot down things that are
coming into your country. Obviously, everyone's always shooting things at
Israel all the time, so they need an iron dome system.
Trump gets elected and starts talking about, Hey, we need
one for America. Did that take you by surprise? Did
you find that to be odd? Well, let me ask you.
(05:58):
Are you under the impression that we could stop a
missile flying into our country? Most Americans are. You go
to the local mall and you talk to one hundred
people and you ask them, Hey, do you think America
has the ability to defend itself against a missile attack?
(06:20):
Most Americans would say, WHOA, Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty
sure right we don't. Isn't that crazy? We are used
to a certain way of things about the world. I
am too. It's not like I'm exempting myself from this.
(06:41):
We're used to being so safe here. We're used to
being so advanced here that things happening to us here.
It just it doesn't happen that stuff that happens elsewhere.
You know, if you're in Syria, that's a place where
your government collapses and there's an invasion or something like that.
(07:02):
Not here in America. These things don't happen here. I
remember as a World War Two buff as, you know,
I remember reading about the stories of the panic that's
set in in places like New York City, where you
could look out at Nazi submarines. You could see them
from New York City. Picture that today? What would go
(07:25):
through your mind today? Let's say you're gonna go up
to the Big Apple. You can go to the Statue
of Liberty in the nine to eleven Memorial Museum, and
you're gonna eat some bagels from Christi's people, and you're
just gonna enjoy yourself in New York City. Imagine you're
over there on the Statue of Liberty. Maybe you went
up to the dippy top and you look out and
there's a Chinese attack sub cruising by. Would that rattle you?
(07:50):
It would, wouldn't it. We don't think about that stuff.
And I'm not trying to make you paranoid. It's just
kind of one of those things where you kind of
have to slap yourself awake some time and realize things
won't always be as they've been. Anyway, let's do some emails. Hey,
dear extra saucy Oracle, I'm thinking about proposing to my
dime next year. As I was cruising down the road
(08:12):
listening to your sauce rant, which I agree with you. Anyway,
I'm planning on taking her to a resort and proposing
prior to getting on the plane. But then I wondered,
how did you do it for aub Much as it
pains me to say it, you owe Chris five gallons
a honey. Honey is natural, it doesn't go bad. Okay. One,
I'm tired of you honey people. Two, I don't have
(08:35):
to pay Chris back for the honey because, surprise, surprise,
he dug it out of the trash can't. Chris is
now trying to claim it was the only thing in
the can. Chris, You're not fooling anybody. We could have
cleaned out the garbage disposal and you would have still
dug through the trash can to save two bucks on
a five gallon thing a honey. Everybody knows it. Everybody
(08:58):
knows it. One two, I proposing to the wife. She
loved you know, remember that vehicle. Yeah, have to be
careful how you say this. She loved hummers. You know
that vehicle. Remember the Hummer that the original Hummer that
came out. Why are you laughing, Chris Corey? Is that funny?
What is wrong with you too? I'm trying to do
some radio here. Anyway, as a hummer lover, I went
(09:24):
and found a place, Chris, grow up. I went and
found a place in Tucson. I at you guys. I
found a place in Tucson that rented exotic cars, and
I rented It was Valentine's Day. How cliche is that
I rented a Hummer and I was taking her out
to dinner. I was just gonna take her out to
dinner and take her home. Instead of going right to dinner,
(09:46):
I took her out. This is again in Tucson. I
took her out to someplace that overlooks kind of Tucson,
overlooks the Valley Boom. She never saw it coming. I
didn't get on one knee because I was in the
drive receipt. So that's not really my fault. In hindsight,
maybe I should have gotten out. It's something she's brought
up once or twice that I didn't get on one knee.
(10:07):
But I said, hey, will you marry me? And she
looked me right in the eye and she said, are
you serious? Not even kidding. It didn't even get a yes,
but she did actually say yes. After that, she was
just a little shocked at the time. Okay, let's talk
about what's happening in Wisconsin. Let's make fun of Chuck
Schumer next. This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is
(10:33):
the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Wednesday. Remember,
you can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot
com and I'll I'll get to those emails here in
a minute, and I'll get to Wisconsin here in a minute.
I'm fighting off a little bit of a revolt here
in the studio though. So here's what happened. We got
(10:56):
an email. It was a lovely email, and I appreciate
the email. Chris. We got an email from the White House.
They are offering they want us to come to Washington,
d C. And do some interviews of some White House people,
(11:20):
Trump administration people. I'm sure do some interviews from the
White House. I appreciate the invitation, and for everybody in
the White House who's currently listening, and I know there
some are, thank you. It is not it is not
if it's not a small thing. I realized that, thank
you for the invitation. I appreciate it. I'm just not going.
(11:45):
Chris is upset, Corey is upset. I don't like to travel,
and I what Chris and I don't like to go
to Washington, DC. You guys don't understand. Have either of you,
neither of you been to Washington. Let me explain something
to you. The history is super cool. Okay, I'm gonna
give you that. The history is way way cool. The
(12:07):
museums and everything that's awesome, it is. It's cool. The restaurant,
the food scene is abysmal. You cannot imagine for a
city of that size with that much money in it.
The food is awful. It's dreadful food. That's one. Two.
(12:28):
I know you say you don't believe me, Chris, Chris,
is there someone you trust more when I tell you
food is bad? Is there somebody on the planet you
trust more than me? You think I'm lying. Why would
I lie? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't lie for that reason.
I'm giving you an explanation. I'm telling you. I'm telling
(12:50):
you the food sucks. And this is where we'll get
a bunch of emails to people. Now, you haven't been
to to Marty's Bagels. I understand in a city of
that size, going to be a little gem here or
a little gem there. I understand that. You know what.
Come to Houston, Powe. There's freaking food everywhere everywhere you turn.
(13:10):
Go to Charleston, that's where you eat. Go to New
York City, go to La There's good restaurants all over
the place. Miami. I decided to go to Miami last weekend.
There's good food everywhere. It's nothing like that in Washington,
d C. The food sucks and the people are horrible.
(13:30):
Now I realized that people in the White House now
are gonna be cool. I get that. I get that.
I'm talking about the rest of the town. You've never
met a more bunch of self important dorks in your
entire life. Within five seconds of talking to somebody, they'll
tell you which congressmen they work for, which I work for?
This group or that group of AVAVV event. There's something
(13:53):
about being in proximity to that much power that just
somehow bleeds into people's brains. That's all that. That is
all just part of the explanation. I don't want to travel.
I don't Why are you rubbing your head, Chris? The
food is not very good. I don't want to be
around Washington, DC people. None of this sounds appealing at all.
(14:15):
I don't understand why you two want to go when
I don't want to go. What oh gosh, okay, Chris said,
we'll invite JD. Talking about JD vance Chris wants to
interview JD Vans because JD's cool as can be and
he was a marine and look I like JD a
lot too. Well, we'll interview JD one day. We don't.
(14:38):
Why do we have to interview him now? We could
put out the word now and maybe get JD. I
don't want to interview. How many politicians do I interview?
And I realized JD is a good one? I get that.
How many politicians on the radio? Seriously, in what have
we DoD been doing the six years? Chris? Six and
(14:58):
a half years? How how many politicians do you remember
me interviewing here on the radio? Chris said maybe five. Yeah,
I don't. I don't think I don't. I don't generally
enjoy it. I don't think it's I don't think it's
necessarily a great interview, even like the really good ones,
because I have to interview a bunch of them for TV.
(15:19):
That's kind of how TV is. TV's more interview based.
So I have senators and congressmen and guys I know,
friends like ones I like, they still kind of have
to stay between the lines, right. I don't think that's it.
I don't find that to be interesting at all, staying
between the lines. I want to interview. I want to
(15:40):
interview b K where he can talk to us about
his ab veins and make everybody uncomfortable. I want to interview.
Remember our first interview with Clay Martin. We interviewed Clay Martin,
and Clay Martin talked about the first one of the
first people he killed on the air. Remember he talked
about how he shot him with the seven six' two
and he what was His what did he? Say? Oh,
yeah he's like he went down like the fist Of
(16:02):
god hit. Him how many people have ever heard that
on nationally syndicated. Radio, nobody, Nobody that's WHAT i like to.
Do everybody has heard this secretary of, this this, congressman,
this this senator of. That every single person has heard
these interviews with these. People it doesn't do anything for
(16:26):
me to INTERVIEW'S dc and hard, pass Hard. PASS i
don't know why you're so, Upset. Chris and don't tell up.
Either don't tell up BECAUSE i can already hear. It
i'm gonna walk in. Tonight you have to, Go. Jessey
you can't be mean like that all the. Time you
can't be. Rude i'm not gonna be. RUDE i don't text, Her.
(16:46):
Chris i'm not gonna be. Rude i've already the ship has, Sailed.
Chris i've already politely. Declined AND i do appreciate the,
interview the. OFFER i genuinely, do just not for. ME
I i have other, plants big. Plans the plans involve
(17:09):
a little THING i like to call beer can. Chicken
when's the last time you had a good beer canned.
CHICKEN i have a little. STAND i got it. Online
it was it was, cheap it was like ten. Bucks
but it's a beer can chicken stand that has kind
of a better compartment for the can of beer in,
it and the chicken stays on it, better so you
(17:31):
don't crack the. Beer put out at the beer put
the can in. There it's beer can chicken stuff to.
Be you, know you gotta come all of the beer
can in, there but you put the and THEN i
put mine on the. SMOKER i smoke my beer can,
chicken AND i have screwed it up a couple of,
times but now THAT i have MY Iq, SENSE i nail.
It when you have THE Iq, Sense i've told you
(17:52):
about THE Iq sence. Before it's the wireless cooking. Thermometer
by the, way they have third generation. Ones now they
have these super upgraded ones that have better connectivity and they're,
longer and they're just it just you can't miss when
you cook with THE iq since you plug them. IN
i usually use. TWO i have friends who buy the
(18:13):
three or four. PACKS i PREFER i just use. Two
but you put it in the, chicken put it on
the smoker or the grill or wherever you make your
beer can. Chicken never. Misses it's perfect every. Time chefiq
dot com Code jesse saves you fifteen. Percent we'll be.
Back miss.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Something there's a, podcast get it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
On demand wherever podcasts are, Found The Jesse Kelly. Show
it Is The Jesse Kelly show on A. Wednesday. Memory
if you miss any part of the, show you can
download the whole thing On, iHeart, spotify. iTunes So i've
got something for you to put on your on your
little list of things to keep your eyes. On it's In.
(18:56):
Wisconsin there's an election coming Up tapril. First it's for
the seat on The Wisconsin Supreme. Court now probably rolling
your eyes unless you're listening to me In milwaukee or
something right. Now but why DO i? Care why does
this apply to? Me this is about The United States.
Congress there is a very very solid human being running
(19:20):
against this, Woman Susan, crawford who is a. NUTJOB i
mean a nut. Job we're talking straight, up open prison.
Nutjob what she will do is cut Out republican seats
in The United States house Of. Representatives that's what she will.
Do just something to pray, about something to keep your eyes. On, yes, Okay,
(19:45):
chris we could talk about the, dolphins all. Right so
first of, all remember how evil The biden presidency. Was
remember that we had astronauts we set up into. Space
they were supposed to be up there for like a. Week.
Stuck Elon musk is doing things that NASA's not. Doing Elon,
(20:06):
musk he's just one of these, guys just a different
type of human. Being Elon musk, said, hey let me
go get. Them let me go get. Them imagine going
up to space for a week and you're up there
for eight nine. Months he, says let me go get.
Them and, well.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
One of the PLACES i told him to go in the.
Gym you, know when you're on that bike and your.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Shorts that's completely the wrong number you guys. Have you know,
what you guys are really bad. People chris And corey
did that on. Purpose they put The Chuck schumer je
you know. What they put The Chuck schumer shorts thing on,
there just so it would be back in my. Head
you guys are sick. Freaks everyone's. Fired what? Cut is
it twenty? Five, okay it's not twenty, two which they
(20:48):
had on the sheet? Here What's Elon? Musks you guys.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
Sucked we definitely offered to return the astronauts. Earlier there's
no question about. That the astronauts were only supposed to
be there for eight, days and they've been there for
almost ten, Months so obviously that doesn't make any. SENSE
SpaceX could have brought the astionnals back after a few
(21:12):
months at, most and we made that offer to The biden.
Administration it was rejected for political, reasons and that's just a.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Fact how mean and heartless and vicious is? That, oh
two astronauts stuck in? Space oh you can go help?
Them oh what are you not on my? Team? Nah
let them? Rot how evil was that astronaut came? Back
thanked them?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Absolutely elon must save THE us space. Program if it
wasn't For Elon, musk we would not be able to
FLY us astronauts FROM us soil to The International Space.
Station make, no that is no doubt about. It we
stopped flying astronauts On Space shuttle in twenty.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Eleven pretty, cool right, Anyway so it comes back. Yesterday
we didn't talk about it last night because it's not my,
thing you, know the whole space exploration. Thing don't roll your, Eyes,
chris it's not really my. Thing but it did come,
back and it is a really cool thing that the
little pod lands in the. Ocean, right it's a little.
(22:18):
Pod everyone's Seen apollo. Thirteen, well times haven't changed when
it's a little pod of these. People they dropped that
bad boy with some parachutes in the. Ocean chris wanted
to bring up the fact that the dolphins were, there and,
YES i had to hear it from my wife WHEN i, go.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Did you see the?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Dolphins they were? Good. LISTEN i think it was. COOL
i think it would have been cooler if they were.
Sharks tell me that What, chris, listen tell me that
wouldn't add an extra degree of spice to it if
there were sharks swimming around it wouldn't that be? COOLER
(22:57):
i think it would be cooler What. Chris chris. Said
sharks are surprisingly calm round. Humans, Yeah, chris tell the
survivors of The indianapolis. THAT i think they'd be very
interested to hear about how kind and gentle you see
sharks as, Being, Chris they're not. Surprisingly just why do
(23:17):
you think sharks have been following ships since there were?
Ships so they can eat everything that falls off the.
Ship you, know you ever see those? Stories you ever
see those stories about it happens all the, time about
somebody who gets hammered and falls off of a cruise,
ship or they're on their honeymoon and maybe things aren't
(23:38):
going that well and maybe he gives her a little
shove or she gives him a little. Shove if you've
seen these, stories it happens lots of. Times has it
ever shocked you that they don't find the? Person has
that ever occurred to you that that was? Weird WHEN
i mean the cruise. Ship obviously it can't turn. AROUND
(23:58):
i get, that but it's a very clearly defined. Route
the cruise ship knows where it. Was why can't they
find the? Person they can't find the person because gigantic
ships make a whole lot of noise and churn up
a whole lot of, activity and sharks are attracted to
that kind of. Activity and that's why shipwrecks and ships
(24:21):
attract sharks by the. Dozen and so if you are
a human being who has one too many my ties
and you feel like doing the nesty plunge off the
top of that carnival cruise, line or maybe it's A
disney cruise and you just can't freaking See goofy's face,
anymore and you're thinking you're just gonna dive off the.
End you should understand you won't be swimming, alone, paw all,
(24:42):
right you will not be swimming, alone and you're probably
gonna die like they did In jars In, jaws and
it'll be horrifying. Anyway So i'm fine with the. DOLPHINS
i get. It everyone loves the dolphins and. DOLPHINS i
just think it would have been cooler if it were. Sharks.
PERSONALLY i need a shark tooth. Necklace that's WHAT i.
Need What chris like a, big great white one or? Something? What,
(25:07):
No no one big, tooth not a bunch of little.
TEETH i need no as, yeah as big as humanly.
Possible and Then i'll tell PEOPLE i went spearfishing and
got it, myself which will of course be a. Lie
but no one knows. That no one knows what you've.
Done there's no limit to what you can accomplish if
you just lie about. Everything And, jesse as a former
waitress slash bartender for twenty five, YEARS i beg to
(25:29):
differ on why you're not getting your. SAUCES i have
always worked at a locals type of, place your average
mom and pop diners or taverns as part of the weight.
Staff we always had full control of the sauces and.
DRESSINGS i knew. IT i knew it was a. WAITRESS
i personally never had an issue with delivering sauces or
(25:49):
even extra, sauces BUT i always wrote things down and
reviewed my tickets while delivering. Orders in my, opinion they
aren't bringing the sauces because they suck and either don't
write things down or are just. Forgetful she, said, listen thank.
You she didn't SAY i could say her, name BUT
i already like, her AND i wish she was waiting
(26:10):
on my, table because THEN i wouldn't have to beg
for extra. Ranch dear splinter of the. GOSH i know
That Saint George floyd was not killed By Derek. Chauvin
she's talking About Derek. CHAUVIN i know that the neon
the shoulder was a result of training from The Minneapolis Police.
DEPARTMENT i Know Saint George floyd had enough fentanyl in
his system to kill a. Horse but, still there was
(26:33):
a part of me that doesn't touch The Saint George floyd's.
Stuff AND i know that this is a result of
an elite propaganda. CAMPAIGN i think you should take a
moment to remind everyone to steal their heart against the,
machine and you, know actually it's funny you should bring that.
Up Derek chauvin was brought up today To Caroline leavitt
(26:56):
in The White.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
House does the administration Believed Derek chauvin received a fair
trial and will they consider a parton moving?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Forward The president has been asked and answered this.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Question he said it's not something he's considering at this.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Time, Okay trump's been asked about it. Too they're kind
of washing their hands of the whole thing. Now Derek
chauvin is sitting in, prison completely, unjustified one of the
most persecuted human beings in The United states Of. America
(27:27):
what this guy's email should remind you of is when
the system picks a target and attacks a, target you
don't have to automatically defend the, target but you should
automatically be suspicious of the motives behind why they're doing,
(27:47):
it because these are not good, people and when they're attacking,
somebody there's an ulterior. Motive so that was a good little.
Reminder steal your. Heart all, right let's make fun Of
Tim wallas do some other. Things Next Truth. Attitude Jesse,
kelly it Is The Jesse Kelly. Show final segment Of
(28:09):
The Jesse Kelly, show And Tim walls Told Gavin newsom
That republicans questioned his masculinity because their. Misogynous It's i'm,
SORRY i GET i get the giggles Watching, democrats watching
the Modern Democrat, party which has been completely rejected by.
(28:30):
Men men of men have just walked away from. It
of every, stripe every educational. Level men are they've they've
walked away from The Democrat party because The Democrat party hates.
Men and men are not. Stupid they can see. It
they understand their cultures run by, women run By. Democrats more,
SPECIFICALLY i should, say And democrats hate. Men it's all
(28:51):
over the, Movies it's all over. Everything it's all over
What chris what To ha, Said is he a? Woman, no,
listen it doesn't make sense because they can't make it make.
Sense that's why it gives me the. Giggles what he
said doesn't make sense for the same. Reason remember when
(29:14):
they did their their male outreach. Thing When Tim walls
in the, campaign they were they were hemorrhaging. Men they
could see it in the pull, numbers And Tim walls
decided to go pheasant hunting to prove how much of
a man he, was, right and then he goes pheasant
hunting and he can't even load his shotgun. Properly people
(29:36):
can sniff out when you're not. Authentic they know. It
they just they just know. It and right, now the
beating heart of The Democrat, party it's not just that it's,
women it's man hating. Women, feminists that real, male Really
western civilization hating. Women that's the beating part of The Democrat.
(30:01):
PARTY i already ready to pull numbers. Earlier that's what
makes The Democrat party. Go, well, Dudes i'm not talking
about Effeminate democrat, dudes but real. Dudes you, know you
don't have to be A, republican just a normal, dude
just a guy who works, construction not political at. All,
well he understands that that feminazi hates. Him he gets,
(30:23):
that and so it comes through in all of their.
Politics and the more they try to, outreach the more
insulting it. Gets that's why it makes me laugh so.
Much it would be you know what it would be
me trying to do outreach to. Feminists picture what that
(30:45):
would be IF i really made WHAT i thought was
a genuine effort to. Feminists can you imagine how that would.
LAND i don't speak their, LANGUAGE i don't share their
motivation at, all and so IF i tried to do, so,
HEY i brought. IT i brought a super. RU i
figured you guys would appreciate that WHATEVER i tried to
(31:07):
do to appeal to them would end up insulting, them
because it wouldn't be a genuine effort that comes from the.
Art whenever These democrats try to do male outreach now
it actually does them worse than it did. Before you
know what it reminds me. Of it reminds me of
the Rear Admiral Pete buddhajeedge when he did black. Outreach
(31:27):
remember The. Blackoutreach it's still one of the funniest political
Things i've ever seen in my entire, life That Pete
Buddha jeedge running in A democrat. Primary he's hemorrhaging, supporters
he's not getting the traction he, needs and they dig
through the polling and he finds out that black people
don't like. Him the polling in the black community was
terrible because he's. Gay that doesn't play well in the black,
(31:48):
community especially with black. Dudes that's not something that lands.
Well he wasn't doing well with black, dudes and he
wanted to win the, primary and so he goes out
and he gets a forty and he drinks a forty
in a brown paper bag with some black. Dudes and
that was his outreach to black. Men and if you're
a black, dude even if you're a black dude who
(32:10):
drinks forties out of brown paper, bags isn't that a little?
Insulting isn't? That you, know it's not. GENUINE i, mean
he didn't even use two hands like. Normal you, know
it's just it's. Insulting What, Chris it's, fine we can
make jokes and now we've oh, WAIT i forgot to
make fun Of Chuck. Schumer Chris hayes Had Chuck. Schumern
(32:31):
Chris hayes Had chuck Schumeran and this is how it.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Went there Is amas uses by doctrine the Innocent palestinians
as human. Shields they put rockets in, hospitals they put
schools There at, wait the head of the Late head
Of hamas said These palestinians who were killed are necessary.
Sacrifices his. Words the media doesn't play it, up and
(32:55):
the world doesn't realize the difficult Position israel is in
trying to make sure That hamas doesn't come, back because
we know What hamas would do, again Because hamas has
BEEN i don't know any other country that has used
people as human shields the Way hamas.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Has every, Insurgent, vietcong any, insurgent.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Never the same, Way never the same. WAY i don't, believe,
SO i don't believe. So insurgent armies sometimes run into
trouble that. Way, well there are.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Always amongst the. Populace that's the.
Speaker 5 (33:24):
Way an insurgent of army of. Operation it's not a
policy the way it is With, hamas rockets in hospitals
and using humans as human. Shields but What i'm saying
is the media they showed every day pictures Of palestinians
being hurt and.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
We ache for.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
That they almost never mentioned that a lot of these
were human, shields a lot of.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Them what does that even mean.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
If there's the size Of gaza is less than it's
Basically manhattan and has got two million. People Chuck schumer
keeps going on these shows trying to fend off the
left wing of his, party and he keeps getting slapped
around by these, nutballs and you could almost see the
look on his face as he watches it all fade.
(34:06):
Away it's. Glorious and now here's a.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Headline but, oh you, know you know the thing.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Headlines we didn't get. To tens of thousands signed the
petition For Derek. Chauvin. Pardon, Yes Derek chauvin most definitely
should be. PARDON i Hope trump comes around on. This
Boston university to host pre And Early modern Trans studies. Symposium,
(34:33):
god she's pre and early modern trans. Studies, anyway how
much are you paying to send your kid To Boston?
University Over capacity crowd shuts down parsipany meeting vote to
censure the mayor's primary. Rival, guys where did you print
this for? Me no one even knows where this. Is
who gives a crap about this town or the primary
(34:56):
or anything that has to do with. It Elon musk,
says corrupt officials want. Him i'm. Dead i'm taking away their. Fraud.
Yeah no matter how much Security Elon Musk's Elon musk,
has he should get some more Because i'm telling, you
these people are going to kill. Somebody migrant postal work
are convicted of one point six million dollar fraud and citizenship.
(35:16):
Scam man. Alive you almost got to respect the. Hustle
he lied to get citizenship and then lied his way
into the post. Office and we are out of. Time
we'll do it again. Tomorrow that's all
This is a Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show, Final hour of the Jesse Kelly Show on
a magnificent Wednesday, a hofday. And I don't know about you.
I'm having a great time. Before we get to the emails,
and before we get to Wisconsin, we got to pay
attention to Wisconsin. Tim Wallas is a huge goober dork,
(00:33):
and Chris and Corey are turning against me. I'll discuss
that in just a moment. I promised you something. One
more little tidbit here, speaking of the fake news and
how they lie about every single thing. Why does your
liberal and Peggy live in a world of make believe?
I'm gonna play you this is a local news story. Now,
(00:53):
before I play it, I want you to know something.
The woman they're discussing here, she pled, pleaded, pled whatever.
I didn't go to a college, guilty to a federal
drug charge. Guilty by your own admission. This is somebody,
(01:15):
not a citizen here, who got involved in dealing drugs,
all right, accepted a plea deal. Now that's not the story.
The story is. I want you to listen to this
news segment. You don't have to time it on a
stopwatch or anything like that, but just kind of in
the back of your mind, do account on how long
(01:36):
it is before they get to that little tidbit. She
was deported to Laos about one week ago.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's a country where she doesn't know a soul or
speak the language. Oh, I were loved to come back
by all my children.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm crying.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I pray every day.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Over video chat, you can sense Ma Yang's desperation to
return to Wisconsin. She tells me that she is staying
on a compound in Laos with guards. I want to say,
I've been here for eight days.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Two days ago they finally were a month to take
me to Robaphone.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Family of the South Milwaukee woman is scrambling to try
and get her back after she was deported to Laos.
Ma Yang has five children, including twenty two year old Asia.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And my mom always been like the rock.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Very just a heads up. We are about thirty to
forty seconds at least into this news story. We know
her name, we know she's praying. We've heard from multiple
family members. In fact, if you watch the local news story,
you've seen pictures in video of this lovely little family.
Still that's the only informations.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So Yang is Mung. She was born in a refugee
camp in Thailand before her parents fled to the US.
In twenty twenty, Yang pleaded guilty for her role in
a federal drug case and order to serve thirty months,
impacting her legal status. Yang says she took the deal
based on legal advice.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
At the time.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I wasn't aware that if I plead guilty to it,
it would check my status of my permanent residents cause.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
The Executive Office for Immigration Review tells me that in
December twenty twenty two, records show that a judge ordered
Yang's removal. Last month, Yang reported for a check in
and was detained. Family says she was taken to Chicago,
transfer to Indiana, then back to Chicago to be sent
to LAOS.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
That was in total a minute in twenty nine seconds.
I know because I have it on my handy little
soundboard here that has little gems like that I love
you bag and what was that five seconds Fellas we
got to hear about the crimes, she committed. That is
why your liberal ant Peggy is a complete deranged nutcase.
(03:50):
That's exactly why. All right, just so we're clear, Oh, Oh,
there's also this we talked in the opening of the
hour about Well, there was a lot we talked about,
but one part of it was how when an assassination happens,
like the assassination of JFK, how it kind of shatters
(04:11):
your illusions about the country you live in. That's something
that happens only other places, not here. Well, I'm going
to play you something. This is from a nor AD
General Gregory Gillyoh. I think it's how you said. It's
I don't know the Guillo gia something like that, but
he's General nor Ad. I want you to listen to
(04:32):
what he says about China and the drones over our
military basis.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Drones could fly over a major air force base and
we couldn't stop them.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
How is that possible?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Well, I think the threat got ahead of our ability
to detect and track the threat. I think all eyes
were rightfully overseas where UAVs were being used on one
way attack to attack US and coalition service members, and
the threat into US probably caught us by surprise a
(05:09):
little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
We were unable to stop the threat. China can fly
drones over our military basis and we can't stop it.
Have you wondered why Donald Trump is talking about the
iron dome here? Did that strike you by surprise? It's
not hard to figure out why a country like Israel
would want an iron dome. You know what iron dome is.
(05:33):
It's essentially a system of missile defense where they shoot
missiles into the sky to shoot down things that are
coming into your country. Obviously, everyone's always shooting things at
Israel all the time, so they need an iron dome system.
Trump gets elected and starts talking about, Hey, we need
one for America. Did that take you by surprise? Did
you find that to be odd? Well, let me ask you.
(05:58):
Are you under the impression that we could stop a
missile flying into our country? Most Americans are. You go
to the local mall and you talk to one hundred
people and you ask them, Hey, do you think America
has the ability to defend itself against a missile attack?
(06:20):
Most Americans would say, WHOA, Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty
sure right we don't. Isn't that crazy? We are used
to a certain way of things about the world. I
am too. It's not like I'm exempting myself from this.
(06:41):
We're used to being so safe here. We're used to
being so advanced here that things happening to us here.
It just it doesn't happen that stuff that happens elsewhere.
You know, if you're in Syria, that's a place where
your government collapses and there's an invasion or something like that.
(07:02):
Not here in America. These things don't happen here. I
remember as a World War Two buff as, you know,
I remember reading about the stories of the panic that's
set in in places like New York City, where you
could look out at Nazi submarines. You could see them
from New York City. Picture that today? What would go
(07:25):
through your mind today? Let's say you're gonna go up
to the Big Apple. You can go to the Statue
of Liberty in the nine to eleven Memorial Museum, and
you're gonna eat some bagels from Christi's people, and you're
just gonna enjoy yourself in New York City. Imagine you're
over there on the Statue of Liberty. Maybe you went
up to the dippy top and you look out and
there's a Chinese attack sub cruising by. Would that rattle you?
(07:50):
It would, wouldn't it. We don't think about that stuff.
And I'm not trying to make you paranoid. It's just
kind of one of those things where you kind of
have to slap yourself awake some time and realize things
won't always be as they've been. Anyway, let's do some emails. Hey,
dear extra saucy Oracle, I'm thinking about proposing to my
dime next year. As I was cruising down the road
(08:12):
listening to your sauce rant, which I agree with you. Anyway,
I'm planning on taking her to a resort and proposing
prior to getting on the plane. But then I wondered,
how did you do it for aub Much as it
pains me to say it, you owe Chris five gallons
a honey. Honey is natural, it doesn't go bad. Okay. One,
I'm tired of you honey people. Two, I don't have
(08:35):
to pay Chris back for the honey because, surprise, surprise,
he dug it out of the trash can't. Chris is
now trying to claim it was the only thing in
the can. Chris, You're not fooling anybody. We could have
cleaned out the garbage disposal and you would have still
dug through the trash can to save two bucks on
a five gallon thing a honey. Everybody knows it. Everybody
(08:58):
knows it. One two, I proposing to the wife. She
loved you know, remember that vehicle. Yeah, have to be
careful how you say this. She loved hummers. You know
that vehicle. Remember the Hummer that the original Hummer that
came out. Why are you laughing, Chris Corey? Is that funny?
What is wrong with you too? I'm trying to do
some radio here. Anyway, as a hummer lover, I went
(09:24):
and found a place, Chris, grow up. I went and
found a place in Tucson. I at you guys. I
found a place in Tucson that rented exotic cars, and
I rented It was Valentine's Day. How cliche is that
I rented a Hummer and I was taking her out
to dinner. I was just gonna take her out to
dinner and take her home. Instead of going right to dinner,
(09:46):
I took her out. This is again in Tucson. I
took her out to someplace that overlooks kind of Tucson,
overlooks the Valley Boom. She never saw it coming. I
didn't get on one knee because I was in the
drive receipt. So that's not really my fault. In hindsight,
maybe I should have gotten out. It's something she's brought
up once or twice that I didn't get on one knee.
(10:07):
But I said, hey, will you marry me? And she
looked me right in the eye and she said, are
you serious? Not even kidding. It didn't even get a yes,
but she did actually say yes. After that, she was
just a little shocked at the time. Okay, let's talk
about what's happening in Wisconsin. Let's make fun of Chuck
Schumer next. This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is
(10:33):
the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Wednesday. Remember,
you can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot
com and I'll I'll get to those emails here in
a minute, and I'll get to Wisconsin here in a minute.
I'm fighting off a little bit of a revolt here
in the studio though. So here's what happened. We got
(10:56):
an email. It was a lovely email, and I appreciate
the email. Chris. We got an email from the White House.
They are offering they want us to come to Washington,
d C. And do some interviews of some White House people,
(11:20):
Trump administration people. I'm sure do some interviews from the
White House. I appreciate the invitation, and for everybody in
the White House who's currently listening, and I know there
some are, thank you. It is not it is not
if it's not a small thing. I realized that, thank
you for the invitation. I appreciate it. I'm just not going.
(11:45):
Chris is upset, Corey is upset. I don't like to travel,
and I what Chris and I don't like to go
to Washington, DC. You guys don't understand. Have either of you,
neither of you been to Washington. Let me explain something
to you. The history is super cool. Okay, I'm gonna
give you that. The history is way way cool. The
(12:07):
museums and everything that's awesome, it is. It's cool. The restaurant,
the food scene is abysmal. You cannot imagine for a
city of that size with that much money in it.
The food is awful. It's dreadful food. That's one. Two.
(12:28):
I know you say you don't believe me, Chris, Chris,
is there someone you trust more when I tell you
food is bad? Is there somebody on the planet you
trust more than me? You think I'm lying. Why would
I lie? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't lie for that reason.
I'm giving you an explanation. I'm telling you. I'm telling
(12:50):
you the food sucks. And this is where we'll get
a bunch of emails to people. Now, you haven't been
to to Marty's Bagels. I understand in a city of
that size, going to be a little gem here or
a little gem there. I understand that. You know what.
Come to Houston, Powe. There's freaking food everywhere everywhere you turn.
(13:10):
Go to Charleston, that's where you eat. Go to New
York City, go to La There's good restaurants all over
the place. Miami. I decided to go to Miami last weekend.
There's good food everywhere. It's nothing like that in Washington,
d C. The food sucks and the people are horrible.
(13:30):
Now I realized that people in the White House now
are gonna be cool. I get that. I get that.
I'm talking about the rest of the town. You've never
met a more bunch of self important dorks in your
entire life. Within five seconds of talking to somebody, they'll
tell you which congressmen they work for, which I work for?
This group or that group of AVAVV event. There's something
(13:53):
about being in proximity to that much power that just
somehow bleeds into people's brains. That's all that. That is
all just part of the explanation. I don't want to travel.
I don't Why are you rubbing your head, Chris? The
food is not very good. I don't want to be
around Washington, DC people. None of this sounds appealing at all.
(14:15):
I don't understand why you two want to go when
I don't want to go. What oh gosh, okay, Chris said,
we'll invite JD. Talking about JD vance Chris wants to
interview JD Vans because JD's cool as can be and
he was a marine and look I like JD a
lot too. Well, we'll interview JD one day. We don't.
(14:38):
Why do we have to interview him now? We could
put out the word now and maybe get JD. I
don't want to interview. How many politicians do I interview?
And I realized JD is a good one? I get that.
How many politicians on the radio? Seriously, in what have
we DoD been doing the six years? Chris? Six and
(14:58):
a half years? How how many politicians do you remember
me interviewing here on the radio? Chris said maybe five. Yeah,
I don't. I don't think I don't. I don't generally
enjoy it. I don't think it's I don't think it's
necessarily a great interview, even like the really good ones,
because I have to interview a bunch of them for TV.
(15:19):
That's kind of how TV is. TV's more interview based.
So I have senators and congressmen and guys I know,
friends like ones I like, they still kind of have
to stay between the lines, right. I don't think that's it.
I don't find that to be interesting at all, staying
between the lines. I want to interview. I want to
(15:40):
interview b K where he can talk to us about
his ab veins and make everybody uncomfortable. I want to interview.
Remember our first interview with Clay Martin. We interviewed Clay Martin,
and Clay Martin talked about the first one of the
first people he killed on the air. Remember he talked
about how he shot him with the seven six' two
and he what was His what did he? Say? Oh,
yeah he's like he went down like the fist Of
(16:02):
god hit. Him how many people have ever heard that
on nationally syndicated. Radio, nobody, Nobody that's WHAT i like to.
Do everybody has heard this secretary of, this this, congressman,
this this senator of. That every single person has heard
these interviews with these. People it doesn't do anything for
(16:26):
me to INTERVIEW'S dc and hard, pass Hard. PASS i
don't know why you're so, Upset. Chris and don't tell up.
Either don't tell up BECAUSE i can already hear. It
i'm gonna walk in. Tonight you have to, Go. Jessey
you can't be mean like that all the. Time you
can't be. Rude i'm not gonna be. RUDE i don't text, Her.
(16:46):
Chris i'm not gonna be. Rude i've already the ship has, Sailed.
Chris i've already politely. Declined AND i do appreciate the,
interview the. OFFER i genuinely, do just not for. ME
I i have other, plants big. Plans the plans involve
(17:09):
a little THING i like to call beer can. Chicken
when's the last time you had a good beer canned.
CHICKEN i have a little. STAND i got it. Online
it was it was, cheap it was like ten. Bucks
but it's a beer can chicken stand that has kind
of a better compartment for the can of beer in,
it and the chicken stays on it, better so you
(17:31):
don't crack the. Beer put out at the beer put
the can in. There it's beer can chicken stuff to.
Be you, know you gotta come all of the beer
can in, there but you put the and THEN i
put mine on the. SMOKER i smoke my beer can,
chicken AND i have screwed it up a couple of,
times but now THAT i have MY Iq, SENSE i nail.
It when you have THE Iq, Sense i've told you
(17:52):
about THE Iq sence. Before it's the wireless cooking. Thermometer
by the, way they have third generation. Ones now they
have these super upgraded ones that have better connectivity and they're,
longer and they're just it just you can't miss when
you cook with THE iq since you plug them. IN
i usually use. TWO i have friends who buy the
(18:13):
three or four. PACKS i PREFER i just use. Two
but you put it in the, chicken put it on
the smoker or the grill or wherever you make your
beer can. Chicken never. Misses it's perfect every. Time chefiq
dot com Code jesse saves you fifteen. Percent we'll be.
Back miss.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Something there's a, podcast get it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
On demand wherever podcasts are, Found The Jesse Kelly. Show
it Is The Jesse Kelly show on A. Wednesday. Memory
if you miss any part of the, show you can
download the whole thing On, iHeart, spotify. iTunes So i've
got something for you to put on your on your
little list of things to keep your eyes. On it's In.
(18:56):
Wisconsin there's an election coming Up tapril. First it's for
the seat on The Wisconsin Supreme. Court now probably rolling
your eyes unless you're listening to me In milwaukee or
something right. Now but why DO i? Care why does
this apply to? Me this is about The United States.
Congress there is a very very solid human being running
(19:20):
against this, Woman Susan, crawford who is a. NUTJOB i
mean a nut. Job we're talking straight, up open prison.
Nutjob what she will do is cut Out republican seats
in The United States house Of. Representatives that's what she will.
Do just something to pray, about something to keep your eyes. On, yes, Okay,
(19:45):
chris we could talk about the, dolphins all. Right so
first of, all remember how evil The biden presidency. Was
remember that we had astronauts we set up into. Space
they were supposed to be up there for like a. Week.
Stuck Elon musk is doing things that NASA's not. Doing Elon,
(20:06):
musk he's just one of these, guys just a different
type of human. Being Elon musk, said, hey let me
go get. Them let me go get. Them imagine going
up to space for a week and you're up there
for eight nine. Months he, says let me go get.
Them and, well.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
One of the PLACES i told him to go in the.
Gym you, know when you're on that bike and your.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Shorts that's completely the wrong number you guys. Have you know,
what you guys are really bad. People chris And corey
did that on. Purpose they put The Chuck schumer je
you know. What they put The Chuck schumer shorts thing on,
there just so it would be back in my. Head
you guys are sick. Freaks everyone's. Fired what? Cut is
it twenty? Five, okay it's not twenty, two which they
(20:48):
had on the sheet? Here What's Elon? Musks you guys.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
Sucked we definitely offered to return the astronauts. Earlier there's
no question about. That the astronauts were only supposed to
be there for eight, days and they've been there for
almost ten, Months so obviously that doesn't make any. SENSE
SpaceX could have brought the astionnals back after a few
(21:12):
months at, most and we made that offer to The biden.
Administration it was rejected for political, reasons and that's just a.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Fact how mean and heartless and vicious is? That, oh
two astronauts stuck in? Space oh you can go help?
Them oh what are you not on my? Team? Nah
let them? Rot how evil was that astronaut came? Back
thanked them?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Absolutely elon must save THE us space. Program if it
wasn't For Elon, musk we would not be able to
FLY us astronauts FROM us soil to The International Space.
Station make, no that is no doubt about. It we
stopped flying astronauts On Space shuttle in twenty.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Eleven pretty, cool right, Anyway so it comes back. Yesterday
we didn't talk about it last night because it's not my,
thing you, know the whole space exploration. Thing don't roll your, Eyes,
chris it's not really my. Thing but it did come,
back and it is a really cool thing that the
little pod lands in the. Ocean, right it's a little.
(22:18):
Pod everyone's Seen apollo. Thirteen, well times haven't changed when
it's a little pod of these. People they dropped that
bad boy with some parachutes in the. Ocean chris wanted
to bring up the fact that the dolphins were, there and,
YES i had to hear it from my wife WHEN i, go.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Did you see the?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Dolphins they were? Good. LISTEN i think it was. COOL
i think it would have been cooler if they were.
Sharks tell me that What, chris, listen tell me that
wouldn't add an extra degree of spice to it if
there were sharks swimming around it wouldn't that be? COOLER
(22:57):
i think it would be cooler What. Chris chris. Said
sharks are surprisingly calm round. Humans, Yeah, chris tell the
survivors of The indianapolis. THAT i think they'd be very
interested to hear about how kind and gentle you see
sharks as, Being, Chris they're not. Surprisingly just why do
(23:17):
you think sharks have been following ships since there were?
Ships so they can eat everything that falls off the.
Ship you, know you ever see those? Stories you ever
see those stories about it happens all the, time about
somebody who gets hammered and falls off of a cruise,
ship or they're on their honeymoon and maybe things aren't
(23:38):
going that well and maybe he gives her a little
shove or she gives him a little. Shove if you've
seen these, stories it happens lots of. Times has it
ever shocked you that they don't find the? Person has
that ever occurred to you that that was? Weird WHEN
i mean the cruise. Ship obviously it can't turn. AROUND
(23:58):
i get, that but it's a very clearly defined. Route
the cruise ship knows where it. Was why can't they
find the? Person they can't find the person because gigantic
ships make a whole lot of noise and churn up
a whole lot of, activity and sharks are attracted to
that kind of. Activity and that's why shipwrecks and ships
(24:21):
attract sharks by the. Dozen and so if you are
a human being who has one too many my ties
and you feel like doing the nesty plunge off the
top of that carnival cruise, line or maybe it's A
disney cruise and you just can't freaking See goofy's face,
anymore and you're thinking you're just gonna dive off the.
End you should understand you won't be swimming, alone, paw all,
(24:42):
right you will not be swimming, alone and you're probably
gonna die like they did In jars In, jaws and
it'll be horrifying. Anyway So i'm fine with the. DOLPHINS
i get. It everyone loves the dolphins and. DOLPHINS i
just think it would have been cooler if it were. Sharks.
PERSONALLY i need a shark tooth. Necklace that's WHAT i.
Need What chris like a, big great white one or? Something? What,
(25:07):
No no one big, tooth not a bunch of little.
TEETH i need no as, yeah as big as humanly.
Possible and Then i'll tell PEOPLE i went spearfishing and
got it, myself which will of course be a. Lie
but no one knows. That no one knows what you've.
Done there's no limit to what you can accomplish if
you just lie about. Everything And, jesse as a former
waitress slash bartender for twenty five, YEARS i beg to
(25:29):
differ on why you're not getting your. SAUCES i have
always worked at a locals type of, place your average
mom and pop diners or taverns as part of the weight.
Staff we always had full control of the sauces and.
DRESSINGS i knew. IT i knew it was a. WAITRESS
i personally never had an issue with delivering sauces or
(25:49):
even extra, sauces BUT i always wrote things down and
reviewed my tickets while delivering. Orders in my, opinion they
aren't bringing the sauces because they suck and either don't
write things down or are just. Forgetful she, said, listen thank.
You she didn't SAY i could say her, name BUT
i already like, her AND i wish she was waiting
(26:10):
on my, table because THEN i wouldn't have to beg
for extra. Ranch dear splinter of the. GOSH i know
That Saint George floyd was not killed By Derek. Chauvin
she's talking About Derek. CHAUVIN i know that the neon
the shoulder was a result of training from The Minneapolis Police.
DEPARTMENT i Know Saint George floyd had enough fentanyl in
his system to kill a. Horse but, still there was
(26:33):
a part of me that doesn't touch The Saint George floyd's.
Stuff AND i know that this is a result of
an elite propaganda. CAMPAIGN i think you should take a
moment to remind everyone to steal their heart against the,
machine and you, know actually it's funny you should bring that.
Up Derek chauvin was brought up today To Caroline leavitt
(26:56):
in The White.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
House does the administration Believed Derek chauvin received a fair
trial and will they consider a parton moving?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Forward The president has been asked and answered this.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Question he said it's not something he's considering at this.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Time, Okay trump's been asked about it. Too they're kind
of washing their hands of the whole thing. Now Derek
chauvin is sitting in, prison completely, unjustified one of the
most persecuted human beings in The United states Of. America
(27:27):
what this guy's email should remind you of is when
the system picks a target and attacks a, target you
don't have to automatically defend the, target but you should
automatically be suspicious of the motives behind why they're doing,
(27:47):
it because these are not good, people and when they're attacking,
somebody there's an ulterior. Motive so that was a good little.
Reminder steal your. Heart all, right let's make fun Of
Tim wallas do some other. Things Next Truth. Attitude Jesse,
kelly it Is The Jesse Kelly. Show final segment Of
(28:09):
The Jesse Kelly, show And Tim walls Told Gavin newsom
That republicans questioned his masculinity because their. Misogynous It's i'm,
SORRY i GET i get the giggles Watching, democrats watching
the Modern Democrat, party which has been completely rejected by.
(28:30):
Men men of men have just walked away from. It
of every, stripe every educational. Level men are they've they've
walked away from The Democrat party because The Democrat party hates.
Men and men are not. Stupid they can see. It
they understand their cultures run by, women run By. Democrats more,
SPECIFICALLY i should, say And democrats hate. Men it's all
(28:51):
over the, Movies it's all over. Everything it's all over
What chris what To ha, Said is he a? Woman, no,
listen it doesn't make sense because they can't make it make.
Sense that's why it gives me the. Giggles what he
said doesn't make sense for the same. Reason remember when
(29:14):
they did their their male outreach. Thing When Tim walls
in the, campaign they were they were hemorrhaging. Men they
could see it in the pull, numbers And Tim walls
decided to go pheasant hunting to prove how much of
a man he, was, right and then he goes pheasant
hunting and he can't even load his shotgun. Properly people
(29:36):
can sniff out when you're not. Authentic they know. It
they just they just know. It and right, now the
beating heart of The Democrat, party it's not just that it's,
women it's man hating. Women, feminists that real, male Really
western civilization hating. Women that's the beating part of The Democrat.
(30:01):
PARTY i already ready to pull numbers. Earlier that's what
makes The Democrat party. Go, well, Dudes i'm not talking
about Effeminate democrat, dudes but real. Dudes you, know you
don't have to be A, republican just a normal, dude
just a guy who works, construction not political at. All,
well he understands that that feminazi hates. Him he gets,
(30:23):
that and so it comes through in all of their.
Politics and the more they try to, outreach the more
insulting it. Gets that's why it makes me laugh so.
Much it would be you know what it would be
me trying to do outreach to. Feminists picture what that
(30:45):
would be IF i really made WHAT i thought was
a genuine effort to. Feminists can you imagine how that would.
LAND i don't speak their, LANGUAGE i don't share their
motivation at, all and so IF i tried to do, so,
HEY i brought. IT i brought a super. RU i
figured you guys would appreciate that WHATEVER i tried to
(31:07):
do to appeal to them would end up insulting, them
because it wouldn't be a genuine effort that comes from the.
Art whenever These democrats try to do male outreach now
it actually does them worse than it did. Before you
know what it reminds me. Of it reminds me of
the Rear Admiral Pete buddhajeedge when he did black. Outreach
(31:27):
remember The. Blackoutreach it's still one of the funniest political
Things i've ever seen in my entire, life That Pete
Buddha jeedge running in A democrat. Primary he's hemorrhaging, supporters
he's not getting the traction he, needs and they dig
through the polling and he finds out that black people
don't like. Him the polling in the black community was
terrible because he's. Gay that doesn't play well in the black,
(31:48):
community especially with black. Dudes that's not something that lands.
Well he wasn't doing well with black, dudes and he
wanted to win the, primary and so he goes out
and he gets a forty and he drinks a forty
in a brown paper bag with some black. Dudes and
that was his outreach to black. Men and if you're
a black, dude even if you're a black dude who
(32:10):
drinks forties out of brown paper, bags isn't that a little?
Insulting isn't? That you, know it's not. GENUINE i, mean
he didn't even use two hands like. Normal you, know
it's just it's. Insulting What, Chris it's, fine we can
make jokes and now we've oh, WAIT i forgot to
make fun Of Chuck. Schumer Chris hayes Had Chuck. Schumern
(32:31):
Chris hayes Had chuck Schumeran and this is how it.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Went there Is amas uses by doctrine the Innocent palestinians
as human. Shields they put rockets in, hospitals they put
schools There at, wait the head of the Late head
Of hamas said These palestinians who were killed are necessary.
Sacrifices his. Words the media doesn't play it, up and
(32:55):
the world doesn't realize the difficult Position israel is in
trying to make sure That hamas doesn't come, back because
we know What hamas would do, again Because hamas has
BEEN i don't know any other country that has used
people as human shields the Way hamas.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Has every, Insurgent, vietcong any, insurgent.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Never the same, Way never the same. WAY i don't, believe,
SO i don't believe. So insurgent armies sometimes run into
trouble that. Way, well there are.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Always amongst the. Populace that's the.
Speaker 5 (33:24):
Way an insurgent of army of. Operation it's not a
policy the way it is With, hamas rockets in hospitals
and using humans as human. Shields but What i'm saying
is the media they showed every day pictures Of palestinians
being hurt and.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
We ache for.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
That they almost never mentioned that a lot of these
were human, shields a lot of.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Them what does that even mean.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
If there's the size Of gaza is less than it's
Basically manhattan and has got two million. People Chuck schumer
keeps going on these shows trying to fend off the
left wing of his, party and he keeps getting slapped
around by these, nutballs and you could almost see the
look on his face as he watches it all fade.
(34:06):
Away it's. Glorious and now here's a.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Headline but, oh you, know you know the thing.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Headlines we didn't get. To tens of thousands signed the
petition For Derek. Chauvin. Pardon, Yes Derek chauvin most definitely
should be. PARDON i Hope trump comes around on. This
Boston university to host pre And Early modern Trans studies. Symposium,
(34:33):
god she's pre and early modern trans. Studies, anyway how
much are you paying to send your kid To Boston?
University Over capacity crowd shuts down parsipany meeting vote to
censure the mayor's primary. Rival, guys where did you print
this for? Me no one even knows where this. Is
who gives a crap about this town or the primary
(34:56):
or anything that has to do with. It Elon musk,
says corrupt officials want. Him i'm. Dead i'm taking away their. Fraud.
Yeah no matter how much Security Elon Musk's Elon musk,
has he should get some more Because i'm telling, you
these people are going to kill. Somebody migrant postal work
are convicted of one point six million dollar fraud and citizenship.
(35:16):
Scam man. Alive you almost got to respect the. Hustle
he lied to get citizenship and then lied his way
into the post. Office and we are out of. Time
we'll do it again. Tomorrow that's all
Host
Jesse Kelly
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