June 1, 2023 • 38 mins
A recalled DA is now working at Berkeley Law because the system always takes care of its own. There aren't soft-on-crime DAs, they're pro-crime communists. Stopping at Buc-ee's for the greatest thing ever invented: Philly cheesesteak burrito. Don Trump Jr for President 2028?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is a Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour already of the Jesse Kelly Show.
But don't worry. We will be here tomorrow knocking out
not one, not two, not three, not four, but five
days of work in a row this week. Don't forget
tomorrow's ask doctor Jesse Friday. You can email the show
(00:34):
your questions now, Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. Speaking
of the system taking care of its own. It's not
just LORI lightfoot and going to Harvard. This story dropped yesterday.
I didn't even have a chance to get to it.
Chessa Buden. I don't even know if I'm saying that
weird name, right, but Chessa Buden, he was the DA
of San Francisco. You should know that his parents were terrorists.
(01:00):
I write about this in the Anti Communist Manifesto. It's
just a part of the book. How these terrorists ended
up getting all these positions of quote respectability in society
instead of going to prison now really is amazing when
you go through the history of communism here anyway, you
can buy that at Jesse kellybook dot com. But the
guy comes up. Parents are terrorists comes up ends up
(01:21):
being the da of San Francisco. And remember remember they're
not quote soft on crime DA's. That is the lame,
pathetic standard right wing talking point people use soft on
crime DA's. They're das who want rapists to rape more,
(01:44):
they want murderers to murder more, they want thieves to
steal more. Because they want civil unrest, they want angst,
they want chaos, they want everything on fire because this
is still the revolution phase for the communist and communists
have always thrown the jails open for that reason, because
(02:06):
they destabilize the society when you let violent criminals out.
They're not toaf done crime das. They're pro violence communists.
Call them whatever you want, that's what they are. So
that's what he was. He gets himself recalled in San Francisco.
Does chess A Buden? Does he have to go update
(02:28):
his resume? Oh no, no, no, no, no no. Chess A
Buden will now be working at one of the most
prestigious law schools in America, Berkeley Law. Their new Criminal
Law and Justice Center. He is the founding executive director.
(02:48):
You see, that's what I mean by the system taking
care of its own. Let's get to a couple of
emails before we get to your animal calls, Dear geographically
inept menu whisper teak of sandwiches. Notwithstanding, please check your
map again. Pennsylvania, Ohio Midwest? Really? Why not throw in
(03:08):
a Midwest barbecue critique of North Carolina and Tennessee. I
love you anyway despite your snub of Denver. On the
book tour, he puts tour in quotes. Okay, it's a
whole week. It's a tour of the anti Communist Manifesto
available at Jesse kellybook dot com. And his name is Chris. Okay,
(03:29):
Ohio is the Midwest? Pick up a map that I
would consider Pennsylvania the midwest too? What do you think
the Midwest is one state? It's more than Indiana. It's
it's a it's an area. Is Ohio not Midwest? Am
I wrong on that? What do you mean? Why are
you doing that thing with your hands? Michael? It is Midwest,
it is Pennsylvania? Is do you? Guys don't know what
(03:49):
you're talking about? You guys are stupid. Tony and Tennessee go.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Hey, hey, Jesse, Gunny here just way to die in
the world. Would be bitten by Heni Habu and Okanawa Jr. Pain.
You get the crosses at the bike mark where everything
starts dying. Uh, your extremity swells up where you've been
bitten to the point of splitting to the bone like
(04:18):
an overripe watermelon. You suffer a hyper hypertension, so you
feel like everything's just gonna implode or explode, and you
vomit extremely until you die.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Gone, Gunny, I remember that they warned us when we
were doing we were just doing training in Japan. They
warned us about the Habu And if I remember right again,
don't quote me on this. I do did the whole show.
From the top of my head. I believe the Habu
was in Vietnam as well, and we lost guys to
that in Vietnam as well. With Chris, check and make
(04:53):
sure that I'm right about that. That Habou viper that
it's in Vietnam. I think it was the one that
I from my Vietnam books that I've read, I think
that's the one those guys were warning about. It not
a lot. I mean, any one of these snake bites,
any sting that's poisonous, that's not good. Yes, Chris that's
the same habou viper that was in the sak that
I took the shot of with my friends that I
(05:14):
ended up giving back. Ended up giving that one back.
Jay and Denver go.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Hey, being stalked to death by a moose.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
They'll rip your guts out right when they come to you.
They just put their foot right in your guts and
just rip you apart.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Man. That is an excellent one, Jay, and it's one
people don't know about. You see, people who don't grow
up around animals or educated by animals, what they get
is you get a very you get a very Disney
version of animals, and you get a picture version of animals.
And a moose is a great example of this. When
you look at a moose, it's kind of big, dumb
(05:54):
and ugly looking and kind of cute, if we're being honest.
It's got that big, fat snout. And you look a
moose and you think, oh, it's like a big it's
like a big horse. I bet we can snuggle. And
people do not understand one how big they are. They
are gigantic, well over one thousand pounds. That's one. Two.
How nasty and violent they are. You know, wolves, right
(06:18):
and again, this is another thing people get wrong. Wolves.
You can't imagine how big wolves are. Big and violent.
You think you picture them like dogs or coyotes. They're enormous.
The ones my parents have to kill on their dead
it's legal. They have a ranch up in Montana and
they're running cattle all the time, and the wolves are
(06:39):
always trying to kill their cows and kill their horses.
So you have to call I forget who they have
to call for it. But you have to have someone
come out and kill the wolves for you before they
kill your animals. And they're always allowed to take pictures
of them and tag them when they're done, and they'll
they'll text me these pictures of the wolves that are
after their cows. My old men six four sixty five
two forty two fifty. That wolf is my dad's size.
(07:02):
They are huge. Well, no, anyway, back to the moose.
The wolves will attack moose as well. I don't know
what's the plural of moose, Chris, mease, I think it's meat. No,
I think it's moose's meace. We're gonna go with me.
I like MEA MEAs is better, Chris, I don't care
what you say. It is anyway, so there's a whole
herd of MEAs out there. Now. It's seriously the wolves
(07:23):
will attack a moose because wolves are such great killing
machines and they're so smart they can kill anything, really anything,
and they can. But they will find them out in
the wild in Montana and other places where those two
species live together, they will find wolves freaking mangled the moose.
It will rear up on its back legs and like this,
(07:46):
like Jay pointed out, they will stomp you. They can
kind of almost like it's a It's a stomp is
probably the best way to describe it. Almost called it
a kick a minute, sound like dude doing a karate kick.
But it is kind of like that. They'll cave your
skullt and they're mean, big and mean and nasty. So
what Chris, Chris thinks the bear is worse? Okay, look,
(08:10):
we're probably splitting hairs here. I would argue the bear
would not be worse. I understand getting buried alive for
two days is probably not ideal, but at least with
the bear, there's a chance, whether he did it on
purpose or not, that I'm going to receive an injury
that will bleed me out that is a fatal injury.
(08:32):
And then the course of him smacking me around and
biting my head, he could easily get the jugular like
that and I'm gone in a minute or two. I
understand the moose has to do a head blow Chris
to have it be fast. But anywhere else on the
body besides the head, what you've done is it's an
impact injury. Now I have bones broken, there are internal
(08:56):
organs that are trued. I can almost feel it now.
I'm basically there. I'm fighting a moose. In my mind,
I would probably win, but I'm mangled beyond belief internally.
Have you ever been punched in the liver? I've been.
Anyone who's been fight, been in a fight has been
punched or kicked in the liver before. Dude, it hurts
when people get to your organs. Man, it hurts bad.
(09:17):
I'm serious. I don't I think a moose might be
worse than a bear. I'm staring. Well, Look, we're gonna
keep tackling these tough issues. It's a good night for it.
I want to tackle this, stuck because it's my show
and I like screwing off. Sometimes we're doing more of
these when I get back, we will make fun of
Disney real quick for the woke stuff. But then we're
gonna get back to this. Now. Always remember, no matter
(09:37):
what the conversation is, whether it's serious or animal talk,
you get a bonus when you call into the show
on a Pure Talk film, you get whatever soundboard sound
you would like at the time, because I appreciate you
not funding communism. When you have Verizon or AT and
T or T Mobile, you are paying somebody every month
(09:58):
to crap on you in your country. It's it's crazy
to meet people still do this When Pure Talk is
out there, they save you a fortune. They're a patriotic company.
CEO fought for this freaking country. They love America so much.
The customer service is based in America, and they speak
English and they're pleasant. It takes ten minutes on the
phone to switch. You keep your phone number, keep your phone.
(10:19):
You just pick up your cell phone and you dial
pound two five zero and you say, Jesse Kelly, look
it's that, or get eaten by a bear pound two
five zero, Say Jesse Kelly. Switch to Pure Talk and
switch tonight. All right, we'll be back with Disney and
Animals next. I've got on animal inside on me, says
(10:41):
Jesse Kelly. You're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. It
is the Jesse Kelly Show. And before I get back
to the animal talks, let's talk about Commis for a
minute and communism. And apparently this is going to be
old soft Jesse night. Do you know that on a
casan I will feel sympathy for communists? And this is
(11:03):
what I let me explain. There are two paths to
being a communist, two paths, only two. Virtually never does
it go through some normal, hard working, middle class family.
It's almost always the uber wealthy. They always lead the
movement because they'll always be the ones with the power
(11:24):
in the end. And then there are the uber poor,
who are not in a great situation in their lives,
and along comes this religion that tells them they've been wronged,
they've been cheated, they should have as much stuff as
everyone else should have. They've been oppressed, and I sympathize
with that person. And this is one of the reasons
(11:46):
I sympathize with it. Think of the most evil religion
in the history of the world, that would be communism
in my opinion, But there are many now think of
signing up for that religion, thinking in the end something
will be better for you. But little did you know
the religion you just signed up for it will eat
(12:09):
you too, because it's a religion of death. It's a
demonic religion of destruction, and it ruins everything. It kills everybody, everybody,
and in the end, everyone goes down, everybody. And I
think about this sometimes. The headline from today is Disney
movie criticized for not talking about slavery enough. Apparently Disney
(12:35):
remade The Little Mermaid and the Little Mermaid's black. Surprise, surprise,
everyone has to be black now. The Little Mermaid's black
in the movie. And okay, so Disney decided they were
going to go for more social justice points and throw
a black Little Mermaid. I don't think it's at the
end of the world that the Little Mermaid's black. It's
just now that it's so forced, everyone rolls their eyes
because everyone knows why you did it. It's the fact
that it's forced that it matters. It's the freaking Little Mermaid.
(12:57):
It's not like a give a crap, but everyone kind
of rolled their eyes. Okay, but it's standard Disney stuff,
So you didn't go. I didn't go because we don't
find Disney right. But Disney, they of course went commy
with it, but not commy enough. You see. You see
they didn't focus and I'm not making this up. They
(13:17):
didn't focus on the horrors of slavery enough for the
other communists, and so they're taking criticism there. Target recently.
You know, Target's one of the most evil corporations in
this country. They are, they have been for some time.
Everyone's waking up to that fact. Now now that they're
selling chess binders and packing underwear. Yeah, it's disgusting. Now
(13:42):
that they're doing that, everyone's starting to wake up. We
Targets lost billions ten billion by last count, since they
started all this pride crap. They're just people were done.
They're not going. So Target in some stores, mainly southern
stores Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, places like that, they started taking
all these rainbow displays they had right up front and center,
(14:04):
just putting it right in your face, and they started
stashing him in the back. Hey, hey, we're gonna keep it,
but let's go, we'll put it in the back corner.
Target's now getting death threats by the LGBTQ demon mob,
not from the right, from the demon mob. I do,
on occasion feel sympathy for the poor idiot communist who
(14:25):
doesn't know any better. He doesn't know that he's signed
up for nothing but misery. He genuinely doesn't know, And
I hope he finds out before he ruins it for
all of us. But every now and then I do
feel bad for him. I do, all right. Mike in Mississippi,
Speaking of Mississippi, what's the worst animal way to die?
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Well? I hate that he started the show fifth straight
and the lie about we're gonna get ac pans and
T shirts and char because we've been begging for what
Chris T shirts what three years now? I hadn't jumped
on that horse neither. Anyway, ana conda is the worst
(15:11):
way to die. I watched a some kind of documentary
as those jokers jump out of trees and land on you,
knock you out, and then they cowl around you and
squeeze you to death, and then well they squeeze you
(15:32):
to break your bones up, and then they swallow you
hole and then you could still be alive inside an anaconda.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
How terrible was that?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Okay, that I didn't know they jumped out of trees
at you. That's one to all address Mike's vicious slander
when it comes to the merch here in a moment.
But I didn't know they jumped out of trees. I
did watch a documentary one time about this Brazilian There
were these construction workers and they were just taking a
midday nap. This is kind of how they do it
(16:03):
in Latin America. A bunch they were taking a midday
nap and they were doing a construction project, and they
all kind of scattered, and one of their boys just
went and laid down and leaned up against a tree,
and I think it was a twenty five foot anaconda.
While he was asleep, just simply wrapped him up and
he woke up to dying. He woke up to dying.
(16:24):
That sounds horrible. And I told you, my oldest son, Look,
don't blame me for this. I'm not going to be
shouted at for this. Okay, I didn't do this. My
oldest son, my oldest son, he has a snake, all right,
He has a python. He wanted one forever. We demanded
that he make the honor roll. I forget how many
times in the row and the freaking kid did it.
(16:45):
And so now we went out and we got him
a python. This is a year ago, year or two ago,
and I don't ever have to see it. I don't
ever have to think about it. I'm not scared of snakes,
but I didn't want a snake, so I do watch
it eats. That's why I brought this up. And I
will tell you you have to get it. Well, at
(17:05):
least we get for his python, we have to go
down and get a live rat. The wife is an
animal lover freak, and I mean freak. She won't be
in the house when they feed it. And there's this
special tank where you put the python in. You take
him out of his little closed it enclosure and you
put him in this glass tank and you just drop
(17:26):
the rat in there and it does not take long.
And to answer your question, Chris, yes you can come
over and watch it because it's stupid cool. It's really
really cool. But it's it looks okay, I'll film it
next time. All right, I'll film it next time he
does it. And look, I'm just gonna say, I know
we've got some animal lovers out there, so I'm not
going in any details. It doesn't look pleasant. It doesn't
(17:49):
look pleasant, and I'll be honest, it's not as fast
as I think it should be. It does take it now.
He hammers it fast, he strikes it and coils it up.
It's really fascinating how amazing hunters they are. But I
really feel like the rat hangs on for quite a
while and it does not look fun at all. And
now the anaconda one has has me thinking that might
(18:10):
be the worst way to go, especially if I'm eventually
going to be swallowed whole good. Yeah, that might be it.
Eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three.
We'll get to some more emails in disc but first
let's talk about you losing all your money. Because you
have all your money and you're in a four one
k and ira, and I'm glad you do. I'm glad
you're saved. That's very very good. But these people are
(18:33):
trying to destroy it, and they will destroy it. They're
going to destroy the value of your dollar. They're gonna
blow up the stock market. God only knows what's gonna
happen to the dollar as the world's reserve currency. And
then you've worked your entire life for something. These people
may disappear in a matter of a year. Do you
have gold and silver as part of your IRA, as
part of your four to one K consider it a
(18:55):
portfolio protection plan to make sure you don't lose at all.
Do you have physical gold and silver in your hands?
Oxford Gold can do all of these things for you,
and they do them very easily. It's amazing how easy
and laid back it is. Call them eight three three
nine nine five Gold. Ask him about bonus opportunities you
(19:19):
might be eligible for too. Just tell him Jesse told
you to call eight three three nine nine five Gold.
Oxford Gold Group. What Chris, we can make jokes? It's fine,
you get that right. The Jesse Kelly Show, It is
the Jesse Kelly Show. I feel like that song would
have been fun to go and listen to in concert.
I feel like that would have been a fun song.
(19:41):
What Chris you have? No, I wasn't talking about. I'm sorry, Chris,
I don't need the Devil's let us to have a
good time at a concert. That's you, mister, coming back
to Mary Jane's songs and things like that. Gosh, all right,
let's get to some emails. Don't forget tomorrow's ask doctor
Jesse Fry. They get your questions emailed in now to
(20:02):
Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. Senator and Paul.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I'm telling you I'm not letting anything pass unanimously.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
I'm blocking everything until you finally turn over some of
these records on COVID.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
At least somebody out there is trying to get us
some answers. That is so freaking sad about Jamie Foxx
man stroke blind because he didn't want to get it
and the movie studio made him get it. Freaking terrible.
All right, get to some emails. Buenos tartas taco officionado
aficionado Chris. That's Spanish for expert. I've lived in ten
(20:38):
different states in my lifetime, and I agree that tacos
are hitting miss depending on the state, believe it or not.
The two states that had amazingly authentic tacos were Alaska
and Hawaii. Both had numerous hole in the wall taco
shops run by Mexicans and these were no oblah English types.
The only other place I've had tacos that equaled these
were in Texas. And would you give some love to Mississippi?
(21:02):
Best kept Red state secret out there. He said, literally,
that's not nice. His name's Kevin. I love Mississippi. I
freaking love Mississippi. I've had so much fun in Mississippi. Underrated.
The food in Mississippi's underrated. In Mississippi. You know something
else for you? People trying to move from blue to
red and you email and he said, yes, see, Florida's
too expensive. Yes, Florida's too expensive because it's one big
(21:23):
beach and the whole country already moved there. You don't
have to move to Florida. As much as I adore Florida,
Mississippi's a gem and affordable, a really, really, really affordable
place to live. Chris, I can see your ears perking up.
You're not moving. Everyone knows you're not moving. The second
I say affordable, it's like it's like a siren song
for Chris's He's immediate. They don't have bad barbecue. Mississippi
(21:45):
barbecue's outstanding. Really, all Southern barbecue is outstanding. For the
most part. I do like barbecue. I'm not gonna be
accused of not liking barbecue. I said it's not as
good as people who like it make it out to be.
I can eat barbecue you all day. All day, I'll
eat barbecue. I'm not scared to eat barbecue. You're scared
to eat barbecue. That reminds me. I went to BUCkies
(22:07):
the other day when we were picking the kids back
up from camp. BUCkies is this huge gas station in Texas.
I should clarify something every state and you're all gonna
get mad at me an email or call in. But
every state thinks they have a special grocery chain, every
single state, without exception. And let me tell you, as
(22:28):
someone who's lived in every state, not really, but who's
lived in many of them and been all over, none
of your grocery stores are more special than the other
guy's grocery stores. I used to believe this too. And look,
you go to you go to Florida and you walk
into a Publix and Publics is awesome. It's an amazing
grocery store, and you think to yourself, Gosh, this is
(22:50):
the greatest grocery store ever. But then you come to
Texas and you see that Texas has a GP and
they've got the same stuff that Publics has. And you
go to California, They've got the same change there. And
then there's Pigley Wiggley here, and then there's Groger here.
Every place has amazing grocery stores, every single place because
this is America, baby, and as we know, here is
(23:11):
not free. But let me tell you something that I'm
not doing this. I am Texas. Hear me roar thing.
I'm really really not you know, I don't do that.
Texas has a gas station chain that is superior to
your gas station chain. It is like nothing I can
(23:31):
even describe to you. It's called BUCkies, Chris said. It
it expanded outside of Texas where a couple of states. Okay,
apparently it's expanded. It's called BUCkies. It is. I don't
even know if calling it a mini grocery store is
appropriate enough. It is that. Yeah, Chris said, they sell couches.
(23:54):
Did they sell couches? They sell crawfish, boils supplies. It's
beyond belief. They have their own cooking station inside of BUCkies.
And when I say their own cooking station, I don't
mean the four taiketos, which are delicious, by the way,
which have been slow roasting on the little roller for
(24:14):
four days. I mean they're making their own barbecue in house.
They're baking all their own baked goods in house. They're
a selection of jerky like you've never seen. But were
stop the BUCkies on the way home the other day
and they had for sale. I couldn't believe my eyes.
It was like it was like angels had come down
(24:35):
from heaven. What Chris. They had Philly cheese steak burritos.
Philly cheese steak burritos. And I know what you're thinking
right now, you're probably thinking the exact same thing. I
was thinking, this is gonna suck. It's a gas station burrito.
How good can it be? And they were telling you
all this steak and onions and peppers, and they had
(24:56):
jalapino mayo in it and cheese in it. Man, it
sounds so good. But I grabbed it because I wasn't
that hungry and I was taking the wife to dinner
that night, so I grabbed it. Did you as a throwaway? Hey,
I'll have a couple bites and I'll throw it away.
I had to make myself throw that thing away. That's
one of the best things I've ever eaten in my
(25:17):
entire life. It was incredible. Bucky's Baby, Dang. I love
BUCkies Jesse. Do you think Don Junior could throw his
hat in the ring for twenty twenty eight or the
twenty thirty four presidential race. I hope so. I like
Don Junior. I've always thought he was to be frank
with all due respect to his dad, I thought Don
(25:38):
Junior was the most talented of any of them. I
think Don Junior is crazy talented. He's further to the
right than any of them. Well, they're all to the
right of Ivanka. He's to the right of his father.
I don't think he's gonna run that. I don't. Look,
we haven't talked about it. I know him a little bit.
We have not talked about it. My impression of him,
and this is an outside impression. I'm not giving you
(26:00):
an inside impression. This is an outside impression. He's a
huge outdoorsman. He lives and dies to go hunting and fishing,
and I get the impression that he very much enjoys
his life away from all that, not doing any of that,
but I wish you would. I've always thought he was good. Frankly,
I thought he should run this time. Kirk, Colorado go
(26:24):
my least favorite way to go. It would be by
drowning from a herd of lama is spitting on me,
because not only is drowning really an unpleasant way to go,
but then later that's what people would remember me for.
I've thought about this a lot, not the lama drowning
and spit thing, but I've thought about this ways to
die thing, and how many embarrassing ways there would be
(26:44):
and people would remember. It wouldn't matter what you did
in your life. If you have this really embarrassing way
you die, people would remember it. And you know what's crazy.
I think about this sometimes when I eat food. I
think about, Okay, so I'm sitting here, I'm hammering some balls.
Let's say Chris and Michael, aren't it work yet? What
if I start choking on a cheeseball? What if I
(27:07):
die by cheeseball? It wouldn't It wouldn't. Actually, that wouldn't
be a bad way to be remembered. But you understand
what I mean. It doesn't matter how many world famous
books I write at Jesse kellybook dot com, I would
be remembered as the guy who died by cheeseball. By
the way, in reference to Mike's thing, which I never
circle back on the ac pins are real. These are
(27:27):
not myths. These are real. You purchase two or more
copies of the book and you're one of the first
two thousand people to go to Jesse kellybook dot com
and fill out the form. It's right there. You get
an ac pin. As far as the ac merch goes, Yes,
people have been dying for merch for years. I have
to clarify something. I I've had normal jobs in a
(27:50):
normal life, my entire life. I fell backwards into this
that I am doing this virtually by accident. As you
can probably tell by the professionalism of the show. I
have never desired and I don't desire now. And I
know this is probably terrible. It's probably not something I
should even say. But it's just you and me talking.
I've never desired to have some media empire, and I
(28:15):
realize people do, and that's fine. People have different ambitions.
I don't need to. I don't need or want to
be a billionaire. I don't I'm not obsessed with money.
I don't need to start my own I've got my
own production company and my own line of footwear, and
my own this, and now I want to do my
radio show and TV show. I wrote one book. I
don't know that I'll ever write another one. I got
(28:37):
a red lobster what I want, and that's what I
need in life, man. I So when it comes to, oh,
you need to sell merch, I am going to get
merch for you at some point, I swear to you.
I am. I just don't sit around thinking up new
ways to make money. It's just not how I do it.
What Chris, I, Well, that's that's a good motivation to
(28:58):
get my face spread out in more places. That's a
good idea of and it's just nuts. Does that make sense?
I just don't desire Did that make sense, Chris? I
just don't desire an empire? All right? All right, we're
gonna get to maybe one or two more of these calls.
Then we have a bunch of headlines I didn't get to.
I'm gonna try to do an email roundup because we
have asked doctor Jesse Friday coming tomorrow. Now. I don't
(29:19):
need an empire, but Mike Lindell does need an empire,
because Mike Lindell deserves an empire for making it so
we don't have to go to big box stores for
things anymore. It used to just be the greatest pillow ever.
Now Mike Lindell keeps sinking a fortune into all this
research for new things, from sheets to mattres stoppers to friggin'
dog beds to slippers to towel sets, and he keeps
(29:42):
producing the best stuff out there and at great prices
because he tells us when there's a clearance sale. And
right now there's six piece towel set, all USA cotton.
By the way, it's on sale for twenty five bucks.
It's normally ninety nine to ninety eight. Go to my
pillow dot com, click on the radio listener special square
at the top and use the promo code Jesse MyPillow
(30:06):
dot com promo code Jesse, or you can call them
eight hundred eighty four five zero five four four Go
get you some towels, all right, we'll be back to
finish it off. Get the Cure for Rhinos. Eight days
with the Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show.
(30:27):
Final segment of The Jesse Kelly Show. Before we get
out of here, we have a couple more animal calls,
a couple emails. We have headlines I didn't get too
I do want to get to this email. Been hanging
on at this one. Joe Yo, my wife's grandfather, was
in charge of the P fifty one Mustangs new supercharger
development that allowed them to escort our B seventeen's all
(30:51):
the way to Germany by increasing the fuel mileage. His
name was wilfred E. Johnson, and after the war rose
to be on press President Johnson's Atomic Energy Commission. He
was a mechanical engineer for GE and new heat and
compression flow. Was the logical choice to lead the development
for the superchargers. Thought you might like that bit of trivia. Dude,
(31:14):
that's sick. Wilfred E. Johnson. His name is Jim. How
about that man? That stuff is Gosh, that stuff is cool.
We'll get to headlines in a second. Just a couple
more of these, Natalie, New Mexico. What's the worst way
to get killed by an animal?
Speaker 6 (31:30):
Hey, Jesse, So I was thinking about this, and uh,
I personally think that the worst way to get killed
is by disembowllement. So I have to go with the
wild bore. I've seen some gnarly videos of wild boar
goring people to death, and they tend to go for
the soft underbelly.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Oh, she's right, I've seen this too, did you know? Now?
I know this takes place in Tennessee because my buddy
who does it lives in Tennessee, but I'm sure it
takes place in other parts of the South. There are
dudes out there who are crazy enough, brave enough. I
don't know what we how do we want to put this?
We're talking three hundred pound wild boares that will tear
(32:12):
your guts out, as Natalie just elaborated. And these dudes
will sit in a tree with a knife, a knife,
did I say, a mini gun a knife, and they
will jump out of the tree like Rambo and kill
one of these hogs, or attempt to before being killed
(32:33):
by it. That's amazing. Oh my gosh. Final one, Delaney, Mississippi.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Go.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Hi, Densey. So I'm at the house and I listen
to your show, and I just turn and look at
my dog, and she's just giving me this little Paldi phase.
I don't know, just looking at me, and I think,
you know, I would expect to die with boor or
(33:02):
a name Connor or all these terrifying animals, But for
you to have all disloyalty to your dog and then
your dog just attack your face and eat it all.
I don't know where I think that would be.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
You know, I didn't consider this angle, and of course
a woman would consider this angle, and I wouldn't. This
is why you need a woman's intuition. Sometimes I didn't
consider the emotional angle of your own dog. It's true,
the heartbreak of all of it. You're the anaconda's ugly,
the heartbreak of Muffy, Muffy? Why are you eating my face? Muffy?
That would suck, That would suck. All right, No more
(33:42):
animal deaths. It's enough of that. Let's focus on your
ask doctor Jesse questions, which you can email to Jesse
at jesse kellyshow dot com. Let's focus on Joe Biden
embarrassing himself, America and the graduating class of the Air
Force Academy.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
By the way, I've met with the who are those
guys that fly over shortly?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I heard them?
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Haven't three of the more women? So don't screw around guys.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
What does that even? What does that mean? And again
his complete fabrications, he just makes up. It would be
wound to be a liar like this. Now everybody lies sadly.
I wish we didn't. But everybody lies. Think about your
entire life being just you inventing stories out of thin
air to appeal to whatever crowd you're talking to.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Graduating from high school three hundred years ago, I applied
to the Naval Academy and I was picked by the senator.
There's two way senators can pick you pick.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
No, he didn't. But actually playing these sound bites of
Biden reminded me. Did you know that children are under
attack in this country? Millions of children are being trafficked
in this country, trafficked and abused. And I to clarify something,
something that I did not know. Yes, there are strangers
that do it. Oftentimes children are trafficked by people they know, relatives,
(35:10):
they know friends. It's horrible. The average age is fourteen
years old. They entrap these kids online, they manipulate them,
they pretend to be their friends, and soon these kids
that find themselves in horrible situations. I will work with
the A Servo Project for a very long time because
(35:31):
the A Servo Project is not only getting these kids out,
they're getting these purpse, these disgusting petos, and they're getting
them thrown away for a very long time. They're tracking
them down and they're saving kids. The A Servo Project
asks for fourteen dollars a month. But more importantly, if
(35:53):
you're a child and you're being trafficked or you think
you know of a child being trafficked, they have a
tip line and you can do all this anonymously. I
want you to go to via servoproject dot org the
A Servo Project dot org. A servo is spelled a
ss er v o. There, that's where your help is.
(36:15):
Go get some help. They will help. Get some help. Okay,
you're not stuck there for life. They've heard it all.
They will help you for the rest of us. Let's
help them. Fourteen bucks a month. Sign up to get
of it automatically via Servo Project dot org. Remember it.
And now here's a headline by go you know, you
(36:37):
know the thing headlines we didn't get to al Pacino
and Robert de Niro and the male privilege of having
kids whenever you want, Well, yeah they can. Al Pacino
is eighty three and he's about to have a baby
with his twenty nine year old girlfriend. And de Niro's
(36:57):
seventy nine, just had his seventh, and I'm all four
big families and I think that's just fine. My biggest
problem with this is, why would you want a twenty
nine year old girlfriend when you're eighty three? What do
you talk about now? Don't Chris, I understand the visual reasons.
I understand that at all. I've never understood that at all.
Trading are in for a twenty year old. Twenty year
(37:19):
old women are annoying. Suspected Chinese spies disguised as tourists
tried to infiltrate Alaskan military bases. Just a reminder that
China has been extra extra aggressive recently when it comes
to our military bases and the spying member the spy satellite.
Remember we just talked about earlier this week, them snubbing
Secretary Austin when he wanted a meeting. Starting to get
(37:42):
very very concerned about how cold China is being with US.
Smithsonian hosts Drag Show to showcase ha Indigenous LGBTQIA plus community.
Ah Yes, who could forget the the gay Sue nets
yawn at pro abortion thug brutally assaulting two pro life men.
(38:07):
Gosh Bill Ackman calls on JP Morgan's CEO Diamond that's
Jamie Diamond to run for US President, Please don't. We
don't need that. There's only one thing we need, and
that's your Ask doctor Jesse questions for tomorrow. Email them
into Jesse at jessecaldishow dot com. Ask me anything and
email them in now. We will have fun tomorrow. Okay,
(38:29):
that's all
This is a Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour already of the Jesse Kelly Show.
But don't worry. We will be here tomorrow knocking out
not one, not two, not three, not four, but five
days of work in a row this week. Don't forget
tomorrow's ask doctor Jesse Friday. You can email the show
(00:34):
your questions now, Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. Speaking
of the system taking care of its own. It's not
just LORI lightfoot and going to Harvard. This story dropped yesterday.
I didn't even have a chance to get to it.
Chessa Buden. I don't even know if I'm saying that
weird name, right, but Chessa Buden, he was the DA
of San Francisco. You should know that his parents were terrorists.
(01:00):
I write about this in the Anti Communist Manifesto. It's
just a part of the book. How these terrorists ended
up getting all these positions of quote respectability in society
instead of going to prison now really is amazing when
you go through the history of communism here anyway, you
can buy that at Jesse kellybook dot com. But the
guy comes up. Parents are terrorists comes up ends up
(01:21):
being the da of San Francisco. And remember remember they're
not quote soft on crime DA's. That is the lame,
pathetic standard right wing talking point people use soft on
crime DA's. They're das who want rapists to rape more,
(01:44):
they want murderers to murder more, they want thieves to
steal more. Because they want civil unrest, they want angst,
they want chaos, they want everything on fire because this
is still the revolution phase for the communist and communists
have always thrown the jails open for that reason, because
(02:06):
they destabilize the society when you let violent criminals out.
They're not toaf done crime das. They're pro violence communists.
Call them whatever you want, that's what they are. So
that's what he was. He gets himself recalled in San Francisco.
Does chess A Buden? Does he have to go update
(02:28):
his resume? Oh no, no, no, no, no no. Chess A
Buden will now be working at one of the most
prestigious law schools in America, Berkeley Law. Their new Criminal
Law and Justice Center. He is the founding executive director.
(02:48):
You see, that's what I mean by the system taking
care of its own. Let's get to a couple of
emails before we get to your animal calls, Dear geographically
inept menu whisper teak of sandwiches. Notwithstanding, please check your
map again. Pennsylvania, Ohio Midwest? Really? Why not throw in
(03:08):
a Midwest barbecue critique of North Carolina and Tennessee. I
love you anyway despite your snub of Denver. On the
book tour, he puts tour in quotes. Okay, it's a
whole week. It's a tour of the anti Communist Manifesto
available at Jesse kellybook dot com. And his name is Chris. Okay,
(03:29):
Ohio is the Midwest? Pick up a map that I
would consider Pennsylvania the midwest too? What do you think
the Midwest is one state? It's more than Indiana. It's
it's a it's an area. Is Ohio not Midwest? Am
I wrong on that? What do you mean? Why are
you doing that thing with your hands? Michael? It is Midwest,
it is Pennsylvania? Is do you? Guys don't know what
(03:49):
you're talking about? You guys are stupid. Tony and Tennessee go.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Hey, hey, Jesse, Gunny here just way to die in
the world. Would be bitten by Heni Habu and Okanawa Jr. Pain.
You get the crosses at the bike mark where everything
starts dying. Uh, your extremity swells up where you've been
bitten to the point of splitting to the bone like
(04:18):
an overripe watermelon. You suffer a hyper hypertension, so you
feel like everything's just gonna implode or explode, and you
vomit extremely until you die.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Gone, Gunny, I remember that they warned us when we
were doing we were just doing training in Japan. They
warned us about the Habu And if I remember right again,
don't quote me on this. I do did the whole show.
From the top of my head. I believe the Habu
was in Vietnam as well, and we lost guys to
that in Vietnam as well. With Chris, check and make
(04:53):
sure that I'm right about that. That Habou viper that
it's in Vietnam. I think it was the one that
I from my Vietnam books that I've read, I think
that's the one those guys were warning about. It not
a lot. I mean, any one of these snake bites,
any sting that's poisonous, that's not good. Yes, Chris that's
the same habou viper that was in the sak that
I took the shot of with my friends that I
(05:14):
ended up giving back. Ended up giving that one back.
Jay and Denver go.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Hey, being stalked to death by a moose.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
They'll rip your guts out right when they come to you.
They just put their foot right in your guts and
just rip you apart.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Man. That is an excellent one, Jay, and it's one
people don't know about. You see, people who don't grow
up around animals or educated by animals, what they get
is you get a very you get a very Disney
version of animals, and you get a picture version of animals.
And a moose is a great example of this. When
you look at a moose, it's kind of big, dumb
(05:54):
and ugly looking and kind of cute, if we're being honest.
It's got that big, fat snout. And you look a
moose and you think, oh, it's like a big it's
like a big horse. I bet we can snuggle. And
people do not understand one how big they are. They
are gigantic, well over one thousand pounds. That's one. Two.
How nasty and violent they are. You know, wolves, right
(06:18):
and again, this is another thing people get wrong. Wolves.
You can't imagine how big wolves are. Big and violent.
You think you picture them like dogs or coyotes. They're enormous.
The ones my parents have to kill on their dead
it's legal. They have a ranch up in Montana and
they're running cattle all the time, and the wolves are
(06:39):
always trying to kill their cows and kill their horses.
So you have to call I forget who they have
to call for it. But you have to have someone
come out and kill the wolves for you before they
kill your animals. And they're always allowed to take pictures
of them and tag them when they're done, and they'll
they'll text me these pictures of the wolves that are
after their cows. My old men six four sixty five
two forty two fifty. That wolf is my dad's size.
(07:02):
They are huge. Well, no, anyway, back to the moose.
The wolves will attack moose as well. I don't know
what's the plural of moose, Chris, mease, I think it's meat. No,
I think it's moose's meace. We're gonna go with me.
I like MEA MEAs is better, Chris, I don't care
what you say. It is anyway, so there's a whole
herd of MEAs out there. Now. It's seriously the wolves
(07:23):
will attack a moose because wolves are such great killing
machines and they're so smart they can kill anything, really anything,
and they can. But they will find them out in
the wild in Montana and other places where those two
species live together, they will find wolves freaking mangled the moose.
It will rear up on its back legs and like this,
(07:46):
like Jay pointed out, they will stomp you. They can
kind of almost like it's a It's a stomp is
probably the best way to describe it. Almost called it
a kick a minute, sound like dude doing a karate kick.
But it is kind of like that. They'll cave your
skullt and they're mean, big and mean and nasty. So
what Chris, Chris thinks the bear is worse? Okay, look,
(08:10):
we're probably splitting hairs here. I would argue the bear
would not be worse. I understand getting buried alive for
two days is probably not ideal, but at least with
the bear, there's a chance, whether he did it on
purpose or not, that I'm going to receive an injury
that will bleed me out that is a fatal injury.
(08:32):
And then the course of him smacking me around and
biting my head, he could easily get the jugular like
that and I'm gone in a minute or two. I
understand the moose has to do a head blow Chris
to have it be fast. But anywhere else on the
body besides the head, what you've done is it's an
impact injury. Now I have bones broken, there are internal
(08:56):
organs that are trued. I can almost feel it now.
I'm basically there. I'm fighting a moose. In my mind,
I would probably win, but I'm mangled beyond belief internally.
Have you ever been punched in the liver? I've been.
Anyone who's been fight, been in a fight has been
punched or kicked in the liver before. Dude, it hurts
when people get to your organs. Man, it hurts bad.
(09:17):
I'm serious. I don't I think a moose might be
worse than a bear. I'm staring. Well, Look, we're gonna
keep tackling these tough issues. It's a good night for it.
I want to tackle this, stuck because it's my show
and I like screwing off. Sometimes we're doing more of
these when I get back, we will make fun of
Disney real quick for the woke stuff. But then we're
gonna get back to this. Now. Always remember, no matter
(09:37):
what the conversation is, whether it's serious or animal talk,
you get a bonus when you call into the show
on a Pure Talk film, you get whatever soundboard sound
you would like at the time, because I appreciate you
not funding communism. When you have Verizon or AT and
T or T Mobile, you are paying somebody every month
(09:58):
to crap on you in your country. It's it's crazy
to meet people still do this When Pure Talk is
out there, they save you a fortune. They're a patriotic company.
CEO fought for this freaking country. They love America so much.
The customer service is based in America, and they speak
English and they're pleasant. It takes ten minutes on the
phone to switch. You keep your phone number, keep your phone.
(10:19):
You just pick up your cell phone and you dial
pound two five zero and you say, Jesse Kelly, look
it's that, or get eaten by a bear pound two
five zero, Say Jesse Kelly. Switch to Pure Talk and
switch tonight. All right, we'll be back with Disney and
Animals next. I've got on animal inside on me, says
(10:41):
Jesse Kelly. You're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. It
is the Jesse Kelly Show. And before I get back
to the animal talks, let's talk about Commis for a
minute and communism. And apparently this is going to be
old soft Jesse night. Do you know that on a
casan I will feel sympathy for communists? And this is
(11:03):
what I let me explain. There are two paths to
being a communist, two paths, only two. Virtually never does
it go through some normal, hard working, middle class family.
It's almost always the uber wealthy. They always lead the
movement because they'll always be the ones with the power
(11:24):
in the end. And then there are the uber poor,
who are not in a great situation in their lives,
and along comes this religion that tells them they've been wronged,
they've been cheated, they should have as much stuff as
everyone else should have. They've been oppressed, and I sympathize
with that person. And this is one of the reasons
(11:46):
I sympathize with it. Think of the most evil religion
in the history of the world, that would be communism
in my opinion, But there are many now think of
signing up for that religion, thinking in the end something
will be better for you. But little did you know
the religion you just signed up for it will eat
(12:09):
you too, because it's a religion of death. It's a
demonic religion of destruction, and it ruins everything. It kills everybody, everybody,
and in the end, everyone goes down, everybody. And I
think about this sometimes. The headline from today is Disney
movie criticized for not talking about slavery enough. Apparently Disney
(12:35):
remade The Little Mermaid and the Little Mermaid's black. Surprise, surprise,
everyone has to be black now. The Little Mermaid's black
in the movie. And okay, so Disney decided they were
going to go for more social justice points and throw
a black Little Mermaid. I don't think it's at the
end of the world that the Little Mermaid's black. It's
just now that it's so forced, everyone rolls their eyes
because everyone knows why you did it. It's the fact
that it's forced that it matters. It's the freaking Little Mermaid.
(12:57):
It's not like a give a crap, but everyone kind
of rolled their eyes. Okay, but it's standard Disney stuff,
So you didn't go. I didn't go because we don't
find Disney right. But Disney, they of course went commy
with it, but not commy enough. You see. You see
they didn't focus and I'm not making this up. They
(13:17):
didn't focus on the horrors of slavery enough for the
other communists, and so they're taking criticism there. Target recently.
You know, Target's one of the most evil corporations in
this country. They are, they have been for some time.
Everyone's waking up to that fact. Now now that they're
selling chess binders and packing underwear. Yeah, it's disgusting. Now
(13:42):
that they're doing that, everyone's starting to wake up. We
Targets lost billions ten billion by last count, since they
started all this pride crap. They're just people were done.
They're not going. So Target in some stores, mainly southern
stores Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, places like that, they started taking
all these rainbow displays they had right up front and center,
(14:04):
just putting it right in your face, and they started
stashing him in the back. Hey, hey, we're gonna keep it,
but let's go, we'll put it in the back corner.
Target's now getting death threats by the LGBTQ demon mob,
not from the right, from the demon mob. I do,
on occasion feel sympathy for the poor idiot communist who
(14:25):
doesn't know any better. He doesn't know that he's signed
up for nothing but misery. He genuinely doesn't know, And
I hope he finds out before he ruins it for
all of us. But every now and then I do
feel bad for him. I do, all right. Mike in Mississippi,
Speaking of Mississippi, what's the worst animal way to die?
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Well? I hate that he started the show fifth straight
and the lie about we're gonna get ac pans and
T shirts and char because we've been begging for what
Chris T shirts what three years now? I hadn't jumped
on that horse neither. Anyway, ana conda is the worst
(15:11):
way to die. I watched a some kind of documentary
as those jokers jump out of trees and land on you,
knock you out, and then they cowl around you and
squeeze you to death, and then well they squeeze you
(15:32):
to break your bones up, and then they swallow you
hole and then you could still be alive inside an anaconda.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
How terrible was that?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Okay, that I didn't know they jumped out of trees
at you. That's one to all address Mike's vicious slander
when it comes to the merch here in a moment.
But I didn't know they jumped out of trees. I
did watch a documentary one time about this Brazilian There
were these construction workers and they were just taking a
midday nap. This is kind of how they do it
(16:03):
in Latin America. A bunch they were taking a midday
nap and they were doing a construction project, and they
all kind of scattered, and one of their boys just
went and laid down and leaned up against a tree,
and I think it was a twenty five foot anaconda.
While he was asleep, just simply wrapped him up and
he woke up to dying. He woke up to dying.
(16:24):
That sounds horrible. And I told you, my oldest son, Look,
don't blame me for this. I'm not going to be
shouted at for this. Okay, I didn't do this. My
oldest son, my oldest son, he has a snake, all right,
He has a python. He wanted one forever. We demanded
that he make the honor roll. I forget how many
times in the row and the freaking kid did it.
(16:45):
And so now we went out and we got him
a python. This is a year ago, year or two ago,
and I don't ever have to see it. I don't
ever have to think about it. I'm not scared of snakes,
but I didn't want a snake, so I do watch
it eats. That's why I brought this up. And I
will tell you you have to get it. Well, at
(17:05):
least we get for his python, we have to go
down and get a live rat. The wife is an
animal lover freak, and I mean freak. She won't be
in the house when they feed it. And there's this
special tank where you put the python in. You take
him out of his little closed it enclosure and you
put him in this glass tank and you just drop
(17:26):
the rat in there and it does not take long.
And to answer your question, Chris, yes you can come
over and watch it because it's stupid cool. It's really
really cool. But it's it looks okay, I'll film it
next time. All right, I'll film it next time he
does it. And look, I'm just gonna say, I know
we've got some animal lovers out there, so I'm not
going in any details. It doesn't look pleasant. It doesn't
(17:49):
look pleasant, and I'll be honest, it's not as fast
as I think it should be. It does take it now.
He hammers it fast, he strikes it and coils it up.
It's really fascinating how amazing hunters they are. But I
really feel like the rat hangs on for quite a
while and it does not look fun at all. And
now the anaconda one has has me thinking that might
(18:10):
be the worst way to go, especially if I'm eventually
going to be swallowed whole good. Yeah, that might be it.
Eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three.
We'll get to some more emails in disc but first
let's talk about you losing all your money. Because you
have all your money and you're in a four one
k and ira, and I'm glad you do. I'm glad
you're saved. That's very very good. But these people are
(18:33):
trying to destroy it, and they will destroy it. They're
going to destroy the value of your dollar. They're gonna
blow up the stock market. God only knows what's gonna
happen to the dollar as the world's reserve currency. And
then you've worked your entire life for something. These people
may disappear in a matter of a year. Do you
have gold and silver as part of your IRA, as
part of your four to one K consider it a
(18:55):
portfolio protection plan to make sure you don't lose at all.
Do you have physical gold and silver in your hands?
Oxford Gold can do all of these things for you,
and they do them very easily. It's amazing how easy
and laid back it is. Call them eight three three
nine nine five Gold. Ask him about bonus opportunities you
(19:19):
might be eligible for too. Just tell him Jesse told
you to call eight three three nine nine five Gold.
Oxford Gold Group. What Chris, we can make jokes? It's fine,
you get that right. The Jesse Kelly Show, It is
the Jesse Kelly Show. I feel like that song would
have been fun to go and listen to in concert.
I feel like that would have been a fun song.
(19:41):
What Chris you have? No, I wasn't talking about. I'm sorry, Chris,
I don't need the Devil's let us to have a
good time at a concert. That's you, mister, coming back
to Mary Jane's songs and things like that. Gosh, all right,
let's get to some emails. Don't forget tomorrow's ask doctor
Jesse Fry. They get your questions emailed in now to
(20:02):
Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. Senator and Paul.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I'm telling you I'm not letting anything pass unanimously.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
I'm blocking everything until you finally turn over some of
these records on COVID.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
At least somebody out there is trying to get us
some answers. That is so freaking sad about Jamie Foxx
man stroke blind because he didn't want to get it
and the movie studio made him get it. Freaking terrible.
All right, get to some emails. Buenos tartas taco officionado
aficionado Chris. That's Spanish for expert. I've lived in ten
(20:38):
different states in my lifetime, and I agree that tacos
are hitting miss depending on the state, believe it or not.
The two states that had amazingly authentic tacos were Alaska
and Hawaii. Both had numerous hole in the wall taco
shops run by Mexicans and these were no oblah English types.
The only other place I've had tacos that equaled these
were in Texas. And would you give some love to Mississippi?
(21:02):
Best kept Red state secret out there. He said, literally,
that's not nice. His name's Kevin. I love Mississippi. I
freaking love Mississippi. I've had so much fun in Mississippi. Underrated.
The food in Mississippi's underrated. In Mississippi. You know something
else for you? People trying to move from blue to
red and you email and he said, yes, see, Florida's
too expensive. Yes, Florida's too expensive because it's one big
(21:23):
beach and the whole country already moved there. You don't
have to move to Florida. As much as I adore Florida,
Mississippi's a gem and affordable, a really, really, really affordable
place to live. Chris, I can see your ears perking up.
You're not moving. Everyone knows you're not moving. The second
I say affordable, it's like it's like a siren song
for Chris's He's immediate. They don't have bad barbecue. Mississippi
(21:45):
barbecue's outstanding. Really, all Southern barbecue is outstanding. For the
most part. I do like barbecue. I'm not gonna be
accused of not liking barbecue. I said it's not as
good as people who like it make it out to be.
I can eat barbecue you all day. All day, I'll
eat barbecue. I'm not scared to eat barbecue. You're scared
to eat barbecue. That reminds me. I went to BUCkies
(22:07):
the other day when we were picking the kids back
up from camp. BUCkies is this huge gas station in Texas.
I should clarify something every state and you're all gonna
get mad at me an email or call in. But
every state thinks they have a special grocery chain, every
single state, without exception. And let me tell you, as
(22:28):
someone who's lived in every state, not really, but who's
lived in many of them and been all over, none
of your grocery stores are more special than the other
guy's grocery stores. I used to believe this too. And look,
you go to you go to Florida and you walk
into a Publix and Publics is awesome. It's an amazing
grocery store, and you think to yourself, Gosh, this is
(22:50):
the greatest grocery store ever. But then you come to
Texas and you see that Texas has a GP and
they've got the same stuff that Publics has. And you
go to California, They've got the same change there. And
then there's Pigley Wiggley here, and then there's Groger here.
Every place has amazing grocery stores, every single place because
this is America, baby, and as we know, here is
(23:11):
not free. But let me tell you something that I'm
not doing this. I am Texas. Hear me roar thing.
I'm really really not you know, I don't do that.
Texas has a gas station chain that is superior to
your gas station chain. It is like nothing I can
(23:31):
even describe to you. It's called BUCkies, Chris said. It
it expanded outside of Texas where a couple of states. Okay,
apparently it's expanded. It's called BUCkies. It is. I don't
even know if calling it a mini grocery store is
appropriate enough. It is that. Yeah, Chris said, they sell couches.
(23:54):
Did they sell couches? They sell crawfish, boils supplies. It's
beyond belief. They have their own cooking station inside of BUCkies.
And when I say their own cooking station, I don't
mean the four taiketos, which are delicious, by the way,
which have been slow roasting on the little roller for
(24:14):
four days. I mean they're making their own barbecue in house.
They're baking all their own baked goods in house. They're
a selection of jerky like you've never seen. But were
stop the BUCkies on the way home the other day
and they had for sale. I couldn't believe my eyes.
It was like it was like angels had come down
(24:35):
from heaven. What Chris. They had Philly cheese steak burritos.
Philly cheese steak burritos. And I know what you're thinking
right now, you're probably thinking the exact same thing. I
was thinking, this is gonna suck. It's a gas station burrito.
How good can it be? And they were telling you
all this steak and onions and peppers, and they had
(24:56):
jalapino mayo in it and cheese in it. Man, it
sounds so good. But I grabbed it because I wasn't
that hungry and I was taking the wife to dinner
that night, so I grabbed it. Did you as a throwaway? Hey,
I'll have a couple bites and I'll throw it away.
I had to make myself throw that thing away. That's
one of the best things I've ever eaten in my
(25:17):
entire life. It was incredible. Bucky's Baby, Dang. I love
BUCkies Jesse. Do you think Don Junior could throw his
hat in the ring for twenty twenty eight or the
twenty thirty four presidential race. I hope so. I like
Don Junior. I've always thought he was to be frank
with all due respect to his dad, I thought Don
(25:38):
Junior was the most talented of any of them. I
think Don Junior is crazy talented. He's further to the
right than any of them. Well, they're all to the
right of Ivanka. He's to the right of his father.
I don't think he's gonna run that. I don't. Look,
we haven't talked about it. I know him a little bit.
We have not talked about it. My impression of him,
and this is an outside impression. I'm not giving you
(26:00):
an inside impression. This is an outside impression. He's a
huge outdoorsman. He lives and dies to go hunting and fishing,
and I get the impression that he very much enjoys
his life away from all that, not doing any of that,
but I wish you would. I've always thought he was good. Frankly,
I thought he should run this time. Kirk, Colorado go
(26:24):
my least favorite way to go. It would be by
drowning from a herd of lama is spitting on me,
because not only is drowning really an unpleasant way to go,
but then later that's what people would remember me for.
I've thought about this a lot, not the lama drowning
and spit thing, but I've thought about this ways to
die thing, and how many embarrassing ways there would be
(26:44):
and people would remember. It wouldn't matter what you did
in your life. If you have this really embarrassing way
you die, people would remember it. And you know what's crazy.
I think about this sometimes when I eat food. I
think about, Okay, so I'm sitting here, I'm hammering some balls.
Let's say Chris and Michael, aren't it work yet? What
if I start choking on a cheeseball? What if I
(27:07):
die by cheeseball? It wouldn't It wouldn't. Actually, that wouldn't
be a bad way to be remembered. But you understand
what I mean. It doesn't matter how many world famous
books I write at Jesse kellybook dot com, I would
be remembered as the guy who died by cheeseball. By
the way, in reference to Mike's thing, which I never
circle back on the ac pins are real. These are
(27:27):
not myths. These are real. You purchase two or more
copies of the book and you're one of the first
two thousand people to go to Jesse kellybook dot com
and fill out the form. It's right there. You get
an ac pin. As far as the ac merch goes, Yes,
people have been dying for merch for years. I have
to clarify something. I I've had normal jobs in a
(27:50):
normal life, my entire life. I fell backwards into this
that I am doing this virtually by accident. As you
can probably tell by the professionalism of the show. I
have never desired and I don't desire now. And I
know this is probably terrible. It's probably not something I
should even say. But it's just you and me talking.
I've never desired to have some media empire, and I
(28:15):
realize people do, and that's fine. People have different ambitions.
I don't need to. I don't need or want to
be a billionaire. I don't I'm not obsessed with money.
I don't need to start my own I've got my
own production company and my own line of footwear, and
my own this, and now I want to do my
radio show and TV show. I wrote one book. I
don't know that I'll ever write another one. I got
(28:37):
a red lobster what I want, and that's what I
need in life, man. I So when it comes to, oh,
you need to sell merch, I am going to get
merch for you at some point, I swear to you.
I am. I just don't sit around thinking up new
ways to make money. It's just not how I do it.
What Chris, I, Well, that's that's a good motivation to
(28:58):
get my face spread out in more places. That's a
good idea of and it's just nuts. Does that make sense?
I just don't desire Did that make sense, Chris? I
just don't desire an empire? All right? All right, we're
gonna get to maybe one or two more of these calls.
Then we have a bunch of headlines I didn't get to.
I'm gonna try to do an email roundup because we
have asked doctor Jesse Friday coming tomorrow. Now. I don't
(29:19):
need an empire, but Mike Lindell does need an empire,
because Mike Lindell deserves an empire for making it so
we don't have to go to big box stores for
things anymore. It used to just be the greatest pillow ever.
Now Mike Lindell keeps sinking a fortune into all this
research for new things, from sheets to mattres stoppers to friggin'
dog beds to slippers to towel sets, and he keeps
(29:42):
producing the best stuff out there and at great prices
because he tells us when there's a clearance sale. And
right now there's six piece towel set, all USA cotton.
By the way, it's on sale for twenty five bucks.
It's normally ninety nine to ninety eight. Go to my
pillow dot com, click on the radio listener special square
at the top and use the promo code Jesse MyPillow
(30:06):
dot com promo code Jesse, or you can call them
eight hundred eighty four five zero five four four Go
get you some towels, all right, we'll be back to
finish it off. Get the Cure for Rhinos. Eight days
with the Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show.
(30:27):
Final segment of The Jesse Kelly Show. Before we get
out of here, we have a couple more animal calls,
a couple emails. We have headlines I didn't get too
I do want to get to this email. Been hanging
on at this one. Joe Yo, my wife's grandfather, was
in charge of the P fifty one Mustangs new supercharger
development that allowed them to escort our B seventeen's all
(30:51):
the way to Germany by increasing the fuel mileage. His
name was wilfred E. Johnson, and after the war rose
to be on press President Johnson's Atomic Energy Commission. He
was a mechanical engineer for GE and new heat and
compression flow. Was the logical choice to lead the development
for the superchargers. Thought you might like that bit of trivia. Dude,
(31:14):
that's sick. Wilfred E. Johnson. His name is Jim. How
about that man? That stuff is Gosh, that stuff is cool.
We'll get to headlines in a second. Just a couple
more of these, Natalie, New Mexico. What's the worst way
to get killed by an animal?
Speaker 6 (31:30):
Hey, Jesse, So I was thinking about this, and uh,
I personally think that the worst way to get killed
is by disembowllement. So I have to go with the
wild bore. I've seen some gnarly videos of wild boar
goring people to death, and they tend to go for
the soft underbelly.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Oh, she's right, I've seen this too, did you know? Now?
I know this takes place in Tennessee because my buddy
who does it lives in Tennessee, but I'm sure it
takes place in other parts of the South. There are
dudes out there who are crazy enough, brave enough. I
don't know what we how do we want to put this?
We're talking three hundred pound wild boares that will tear
(32:12):
your guts out, as Natalie just elaborated. And these dudes
will sit in a tree with a knife, a knife,
did I say, a mini gun a knife, and they
will jump out of the tree like Rambo and kill
one of these hogs, or attempt to before being killed
(32:33):
by it. That's amazing. Oh my gosh. Final one, Delaney, Mississippi.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Go.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Hi, Densey. So I'm at the house and I listen
to your show, and I just turn and look at
my dog, and she's just giving me this little Paldi phase.
I don't know, just looking at me, and I think,
you know, I would expect to die with boor or
(33:02):
a name Connor or all these terrifying animals, But for
you to have all disloyalty to your dog and then
your dog just attack your face and eat it all.
I don't know where I think that would be.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
You know, I didn't consider this angle, and of course
a woman would consider this angle, and I wouldn't. This
is why you need a woman's intuition. Sometimes I didn't
consider the emotional angle of your own dog. It's true,
the heartbreak of all of it. You're the anaconda's ugly,
the heartbreak of Muffy, Muffy? Why are you eating my face? Muffy?
That would suck, That would suck. All right, No more
(33:42):
animal deaths. It's enough of that. Let's focus on your
ask doctor Jesse questions, which you can email to Jesse
at jesse kellyshow dot com. Let's focus on Joe Biden
embarrassing himself, America and the graduating class of the Air
Force Academy.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
By the way, I've met with the who are those
guys that fly over shortly?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I heard them?
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Haven't three of the more women? So don't screw around guys.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
What does that even? What does that mean? And again
his complete fabrications, he just makes up. It would be
wound to be a liar like this. Now everybody lies sadly.
I wish we didn't. But everybody lies. Think about your
entire life being just you inventing stories out of thin
air to appeal to whatever crowd you're talking to.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Graduating from high school three hundred years ago, I applied
to the Naval Academy and I was picked by the senator.
There's two way senators can pick you pick.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
No, he didn't. But actually playing these sound bites of
Biden reminded me. Did you know that children are under
attack in this country? Millions of children are being trafficked
in this country, trafficked and abused. And I to clarify something,
something that I did not know. Yes, there are strangers
that do it. Oftentimes children are trafficked by people they know, relatives,
(35:10):
they know friends. It's horrible. The average age is fourteen
years old. They entrap these kids online, they manipulate them,
they pretend to be their friends, and soon these kids
that find themselves in horrible situations. I will work with
the A Servo Project for a very long time because
(35:31):
the A Servo Project is not only getting these kids out,
they're getting these purpse, these disgusting petos, and they're getting
them thrown away for a very long time. They're tracking
them down and they're saving kids. The A Servo Project
asks for fourteen dollars a month. But more importantly, if
(35:53):
you're a child and you're being trafficked or you think
you know of a child being trafficked, they have a
tip line and you can do all this anonymously. I
want you to go to via servoproject dot org the
A Servo Project dot org. A servo is spelled a
ss er v o. There, that's where your help is.
(36:15):
Go get some help. They will help. Get some help. Okay,
you're not stuck there for life. They've heard it all.
They will help you for the rest of us. Let's
help them. Fourteen bucks a month. Sign up to get
of it automatically via Servo Project dot org. Remember it.
And now here's a headline by go you know, you
(36:37):
know the thing headlines we didn't get to al Pacino
and Robert de Niro and the male privilege of having
kids whenever you want, Well, yeah they can. Al Pacino
is eighty three and he's about to have a baby
with his twenty nine year old girlfriend. And de Niro's
(36:57):
seventy nine, just had his seventh, and I'm all four
big families and I think that's just fine. My biggest
problem with this is, why would you want a twenty
nine year old girlfriend when you're eighty three? What do
you talk about now? Don't Chris, I understand the visual reasons.
I understand that at all. I've never understood that at all.
Trading are in for a twenty year old. Twenty year
(37:19):
old women are annoying. Suspected Chinese spies disguised as tourists
tried to infiltrate Alaskan military bases. Just a reminder that
China has been extra extra aggressive recently when it comes
to our military bases and the spying member the spy satellite.
Remember we just talked about earlier this week, them snubbing
Secretary Austin when he wanted a meeting. Starting to get
(37:42):
very very concerned about how cold China is being with US.
Smithsonian hosts Drag Show to showcase ha Indigenous LGBTQIA plus community.
Ah Yes, who could forget the the gay Sue nets
yawn at pro abortion thug brutally assaulting two pro life men.
(38:07):
Gosh Bill Ackman calls on JP Morgan's CEO Diamond that's
Jamie Diamond to run for US President, Please don't. We
don't need that. There's only one thing we need, and
that's your Ask doctor Jesse questions for tomorrow. Email them
into Jesse at jessecaldishow dot com. Ask me anything and
email them in now. We will have fun tomorrow. Okay,
(38:29):
that's all
Host
Jesse Kelly
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