November 6, 2024 • 10 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about what we do to draw toxic people to us!
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available for preorder right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available for preorder right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Happy Wednesday, friends, Welcome to the thoughts Shower. Intern John
is my name. Was a busy day yesterday finally check
my mail for the first time in a little bit.
Checking your mail as an adult not nearly as fun
as when you're a child. When you're a child and
you get mail, it's Grandma's sending a gift. It's your
(00:22):
aunts who live in different states sending you five dollars.
You get mail as an adult, it's every company asking
you for money. And the worst part is looking at
this stuff, going, uh, is this real?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Is this a real bill? You know?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's the craziest thing about because I have some LLCs
for business stuff in like the amount of fake letters
I get from people claiming to be government saying I
need to do this and this so I sent to
my taxi. I'm like, yeah, is this real? Goes no, Uh,
it's crazy, crazy, This is gonna be off tangent entirely.
(00:59):
Does it ever, not freak you out, but surprise you
how much mail you still get, Like companies are spending
like a billion dollars on mail with scams, which I
guess it means it's working, right, I guess that's that
side of the coin. It must be working. Yeah, So
that was my day yesterday, was sorting through that stuff.
(01:19):
I have not packed for this wedding. This weekend we
had a lot going on. So Friday is our first
ever live show podcast, Jimmy's Famous Seafood. I'm very excited
for that to see how it goes. But for us,
you know, we always do the show for ourselves. Really,
I mean, we do it for you certainly, but we
don't see anybody else's reaction. So it's gonna be very
(01:40):
interesting to see the reaction of people in front of us,
you know what, I mean, to like do everything and
they'd be like, oh they think that was funny, or
oh they really think that's funny. I'm excited for that.
Then Saturday, I fly out for a wedding in Mexico.
Hockey starts next week, which is also very very exciting.
So listen, we're a couple of weeks away from end
(02:02):
of the year. It's that grind for us, at least
in radio. You know, we try to take a break
at the end of the year to kind of like
rest and recharge. It's a grind right now. This is
the grind of like, well, I get so much done.
We gotta be ready to go, trying to fight the
uh the itis if you will, like the Crave Juices
turn off, It's just been a whole dang thing. I
(02:25):
will say this though, may a big changed my life.
Recently got YouTube TV instead of the regular cable because
I had regular cable, but the way that my xbox
was set up, like I used to watch TV through
the xbox, and then they may have changed a couple
of years ago, whether it was no longer a way
to watch TV through the xbox, so I still had
(02:47):
a box, and I remember being like, why am I
paying all this money for something I rarely use?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Like I maybe use it?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
My parents are over man, the YouTube TV is so
easy and this is not an advertisement, but because I
can still watch local sports, can watch news and breaks
that kind of stuff. We're evolving here. We're evolving here,
trying to evolve. At least will I get packed today?
Probably not? Probably not, I from being honest with you.
(03:16):
I also got a meal prep for Chewy, which is
kind of funny because he doesn't eat regular dog fit anymore.
He stopped doing that maybe almost a year ago, so
I make him ground turkey every day. Not every day,
but yeah, make it like on a Monday in the
last like four days. That type of vibe.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
He's high maintenance, but he's mine, you know what I mean. Anyway,
hope you having a great Wednesday. Want to get to this.
According to the experts, having these subtle characteristics make you
a magnet for toxic friendships. Nothing worse than a toxic friendship.
I've always said life is too short of a cheap
liquor and bad friends, you know what I mean? It
(03:58):
just is uh, and some people like go. I remember
talking to women on the show a couple of weeks
ago about like it was a friend she had for
a long time and she didn't want to break up
with a friend. And it's like, hey, you know, I
think when we're younger, we don't appreciate the majority of
our friends. It's solely based on geographical reasons. You see
them at school, they're on your local sports team, they
(04:20):
live in the neighborhood. It's very easy to maintain those
friendships when you see them every single day at school.
When you get out of school, and then it's like
on you to maintain those friendships, you kind of go okay,
you learn real quick which ones are saving. And there's
nothing wrong. By the way, if you and a friend
have a falling out and you're no longer friends, you
can break up with a friend and still wish them well.
(04:42):
I think that's very important. If there's folks in my
life who I haven't seen in years, nothing bad happened,
it's just like, hey, you know, we kind of went
our separate ways. I wish them the best. If they
called my phone today, I'd answer.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Starting with, you're always the peacemaker. If you're the one
who always steps seeing two smooth things over, it's easy
for toxic friends to spot you a mile away. They'll
know you always want peace over calling out their bad behavior.
I think that's fair. I think that's fair in that
the toxic friend. Again, I'm gonna assume a toxic friend
realizes what they're doing. If they know you won't step
(05:18):
in or won't call things out, they might be more
willing to take advantage of you.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I agree, one hundred percent. No different than that work.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
If you have that one coworker or the boss never
calls out, so they come in late, or they take
things no doubt. Kind of ties into this next one.
If you give too many chances, they say, we all
mess up and deserve grace. But if you're a dishing
out unlimited second chances, toxic friends will see this as
a golden ticket. I think that's fair because it kind
of goes back to they know, like, O, if I
(05:47):
so a think apology, I'll be forgiven. I think that's fair.
It's like, no matter how far they throw you, they
know you'll come back. If you can't say no, they say,
if you find yourself saying yes the things you don't
want to do just to keep the peace, you're not
alone by the time to change that. Toxic friends thriving
people who can't say no because it means they can
push boundaries but ever having consequences. No doubt, I have
(06:10):
tried to get better at saying no. I think it
happens more so with like hanging out, like I am
pretty good at. When I've hit my fun level, I'll
just leave, you know. And that's been more so the
past couple of years, and it's made my life so
much better. We're like, I just have tried to not
do things I don't want to do, you know what
(06:30):
I mean? Every now that you certainly have to write
for work and that kind of stuff, but for the
most part, if there's something I don't want to do,
I just try not to do it, and it kind
of makes life easier. If you find yourself taking on
everyone's problems, you are a magnet for toxic friendships. I
do think that it's it's hard right because you want
to help people, You want to help people feel better,
(06:53):
do their best. But I do think there are people
who realize that that you're willing to help them with
any problem, and we'll throw problems on you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I had a friend once who had a child and
I agreed to watch the kid for a little bit
because they had run an errand and it being like
five hours later, and I was like, yo, I didn't
say a babysit. I thought this would be like a hey,
watch the child for a couple of minutes, run an errand, Okay, yeah,
I'll help out. But then it was like, oh, I'm
like your babysitter, even though I should not be your babysitter.
(07:28):
You know, if you're always the listener and never the talker. Yeah,
they say friendship should be a two way street. If
you're always the one listening, never the one being heard, Damn,
it's a sign something's off. That's a huge sentence if
you're never the one being heard, because yeah, people can listen,
but if they don't hear you, if they don't act,
(07:49):
and what you've said, if it's boundaries, if it's how
you're feeling, no doubt, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes, If you.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Make excuses for people's behavior, you are magnet for toxic friendships,
of course. And I think this kind of means if somebody,
if it's me, and let's say it's Sauce and Eric,
and let's just say that Eric's being a toxic friend.
But I make excuses for Eric to sace like, oh,
you don't understand him. He's just having a bad day.
He didn't mean it. Eric's gonna be drawn to me
(08:15):
because he knows I'll cover for his bs. You know,
he knows it. Man, this one the big ones too.
You believe you can change them. You can't change adults, dude,
you can't. And it sucks, you know. And I've had
conversations with other coaches, with new coaches and hockey, and
it's like, you know, you can want the best for
(08:38):
a player, but at their core, you can't change who
the player is, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
There's been several players I'm like, oh, man, if they
only did X, Y and Z, they'd be so much
better and they just couldn't do it or wasn't their
goal whatever, and like, you can't get mad.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
That's kind of their journey, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I think having realistic expectations about people, if I can
add one thing, I think sometimes that gets us in trouble.
You know, we have unrealistic expectations of people. We think
that they are gonna be way better than they are
and just not the case. And that's okay, you know,
we don't have to ride with them forever. Look, I
(09:20):
hope that if you find yourself being a magnet to
negative folks, you can shut off. I really do, because again,
hanging with your friends, talking with your friends should not
be a stressful thing. It should be a stress reliever.
And if you feel like you're always getting the toxic
folks with you, cut off, dude.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And you'll know.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Oh you'll know, because I've been there, and I realized
once I started pulling away That's when the toxic person
got very angry, very very angry. I'm like, oh, yes,
there you are. If you get a chance to get
the album, I appreciate internsh the album. You can just
search internsion all streaming platforms. Make sure you get the
radio show as well. Search interns John in your morning show,
(10:02):
wherever you listen. I'll see you Friday.
Happy Wednesday, friends, Welcome to the thoughts Shower. Intern John
is my name. Was a busy day yesterday finally check
my mail for the first time in a little bit.
Checking your mail as an adult not nearly as fun
as when you're a child. When you're a child and
you get mail, it's Grandma's sending a gift. It's your
(00:22):
aunts who live in different states sending you five dollars.
You get mail as an adult, it's every company asking
you for money. And the worst part is looking at
this stuff, going, uh, is this real?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Is this a real bill? You know?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's the craziest thing about because I have some LLCs
for business stuff in like the amount of fake letters
I get from people claiming to be government saying I
need to do this and this so I sent to
my taxi. I'm like, yeah, is this real? Goes no, Uh,
it's crazy, crazy, This is gonna be off tangent entirely.
(00:59):
Does it ever, not freak you out, but surprise you
how much mail you still get, Like companies are spending
like a billion dollars on mail with scams, which I
guess it means it's working, right, I guess that's that
side of the coin. It must be working. Yeah, So
that was my day yesterday, was sorting through that stuff.
(01:19):
I have not packed for this wedding. This weekend we
had a lot going on. So Friday is our first
ever live show podcast, Jimmy's Famous Seafood. I'm very excited
for that to see how it goes. But for us,
you know, we always do the show for ourselves. Really,
I mean, we do it for you certainly, but we
don't see anybody else's reaction. So it's gonna be very
(01:40):
interesting to see the reaction of people in front of us,
you know what, I mean, to like do everything and
they'd be like, oh they think that was funny, or
oh they really think that's funny. I'm excited for that.
Then Saturday, I fly out for a wedding in Mexico.
Hockey starts next week, which is also very very exciting.
So listen, we're a couple of weeks away from end
(02:02):
of the year. It's that grind for us, at least
in radio. You know, we try to take a break
at the end of the year to kind of like
rest and recharge. It's a grind right now. This is
the grind of like, well, I get so much done.
We gotta be ready to go, trying to fight the
uh the itis if you will, like the Crave Juices
turn off, It's just been a whole dang thing. I
(02:25):
will say this though, may a big changed my life.
Recently got YouTube TV instead of the regular cable because
I had regular cable, but the way that my xbox
was set up, like I used to watch TV through
the xbox, and then they may have changed a couple
of years ago, whether it was no longer a way
to watch TV through the xbox, so I still had
(02:47):
a box, and I remember being like, why am I
paying all this money for something I rarely use?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Like I maybe use it?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
My parents are over man, the YouTube TV is so
easy and this is not an advertisement, but because I
can still watch local sports, can watch news and breaks
that kind of stuff. We're evolving here. We're evolving here,
trying to evolve. At least will I get packed today?
Probably not? Probably not, I from being honest with you.
(03:16):
I also got a meal prep for Chewy, which is
kind of funny because he doesn't eat regular dog fit anymore.
He stopped doing that maybe almost a year ago, so
I make him ground turkey every day. Not every day,
but yeah, make it like on a Monday in the
last like four days. That type of vibe.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
He's high maintenance, but he's mine, you know what I mean. Anyway,
hope you having a great Wednesday. Want to get to this.
According to the experts, having these subtle characteristics make you
a magnet for toxic friendships. Nothing worse than a toxic friendship.
I've always said life is too short of a cheap
liquor and bad friends, you know what I mean? It
(03:58):
just is uh, and some people like go. I remember
talking to women on the show a couple of weeks
ago about like it was a friend she had for
a long time and she didn't want to break up
with a friend. And it's like, hey, you know, I
think when we're younger, we don't appreciate the majority of
our friends. It's solely based on geographical reasons. You see
them at school, they're on your local sports team, they
(04:20):
live in the neighborhood. It's very easy to maintain those
friendships when you see them every single day at school.
When you get out of school, and then it's like
on you to maintain those friendships, you kind of go okay,
you learn real quick which ones are saving. And there's
nothing wrong. By the way, if you and a friend
have a falling out and you're no longer friends, you
can break up with a friend and still wish them well.
(04:42):
I think that's very important. If there's folks in my
life who I haven't seen in years, nothing bad happened,
it's just like, hey, you know, we kind of went
our separate ways. I wish them the best. If they
called my phone today, I'd answer.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Starting with, you're always the peacemaker. If you're the one
who always steps seeing two smooth things over, it's easy
for toxic friends to spot you a mile away. They'll
know you always want peace over calling out their bad behavior.
I think that's fair. I think that's fair in that
the toxic friend. Again, I'm gonna assume a toxic friend
realizes what they're doing. If they know you won't step
(05:18):
in or won't call things out, they might be more
willing to take advantage of you.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I agree, one hundred percent. No different than that work.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
If you have that one coworker or the boss never
calls out, so they come in late, or they take
things no doubt. Kind of ties into this next one.
If you give too many chances, they say, we all
mess up and deserve grace. But if you're a dishing
out unlimited second chances, toxic friends will see this as
a golden ticket. I think that's fair because it kind
of goes back to they know, like, O, if I
(05:47):
so a think apology, I'll be forgiven. I think that's fair.
It's like, no matter how far they throw you, they
know you'll come back. If you can't say no, they say,
if you find yourself saying yes the things you don't
want to do just to keep the peace, you're not
alone by the time to change that. Toxic friends thriving
people who can't say no because it means they can
push boundaries but ever having consequences. No doubt, I have
(06:10):
tried to get better at saying no. I think it
happens more so with like hanging out, like I am
pretty good at. When I've hit my fun level, I'll
just leave, you know. And that's been more so the
past couple of years, and it's made my life so
much better. We're like, I just have tried to not
do things I don't want to do, you know what
(06:30):
I mean? Every now that you certainly have to write
for work and that kind of stuff, but for the
most part, if there's something I don't want to do,
I just try not to do it, and it kind
of makes life easier. If you find yourself taking on
everyone's problems, you are a magnet for toxic friendships. I
do think that it's it's hard right because you want
to help people, You want to help people feel better,
(06:53):
do their best. But I do think there are people
who realize that that you're willing to help them with
any problem, and we'll throw problems on you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I had a friend once who had a child and
I agreed to watch the kid for a little bit
because they had run an errand and it being like
five hours later, and I was like, yo, I didn't
say a babysit. I thought this would be like a hey,
watch the child for a couple of minutes, run an errand, Okay, yeah,
I'll help out. But then it was like, oh, I'm
like your babysitter, even though I should not be your babysitter.
(07:28):
You know, if you're always the listener and never the talker. Yeah,
they say friendship should be a two way street. If
you're always the one listening, never the one being heard, Damn,
it's a sign something's off. That's a huge sentence if
you're never the one being heard, because yeah, people can listen,
but if they don't hear you, if they don't act,
(07:49):
and what you've said, if it's boundaries, if it's how
you're feeling, no doubt, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes, If you.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Make excuses for people's behavior, you are magnet for toxic friendships,
of course. And I think this kind of means if somebody,
if it's me, and let's say it's Sauce and Eric,
and let's just say that Eric's being a toxic friend.
But I make excuses for Eric to sace like, oh,
you don't understand him. He's just having a bad day.
He didn't mean it. Eric's gonna be drawn to me
(08:15):
because he knows I'll cover for his bs. You know,
he knows it. Man, this one the big ones too.
You believe you can change them. You can't change adults, dude,
you can't. And it sucks, you know. And I've had
conversations with other coaches, with new coaches and hockey, and
it's like, you know, you can want the best for
(08:38):
a player, but at their core, you can't change who
the player is, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
There's been several players I'm like, oh, man, if they
only did X, Y and Z, they'd be so much
better and they just couldn't do it or wasn't their
goal whatever, and like, you can't get mad.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
That's kind of their journey, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I think having realistic expectations about people, if I can
add one thing, I think sometimes that gets us in trouble.
You know, we have unrealistic expectations of people. We think
that they are gonna be way better than they are
and just not the case. And that's okay, you know,
we don't have to ride with them forever. Look, I
(09:20):
hope that if you find yourself being a magnet to
negative folks, you can shut off. I really do, because again,
hanging with your friends, talking with your friends should not
be a stressful thing. It should be a stress reliever.
And if you feel like you're always getting the toxic
folks with you, cut off, dude.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And you'll know.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Oh you'll know, because I've been there, and I realized
once I started pulling away That's when the toxic person
got very angry, very very angry. I'm like, oh, yes,
there you are. If you get a chance to get
the album, I appreciate internsh the album. You can just
search internsion all streaming platforms. Make sure you get the
radio show as well. Search interns John in your morning show,
(10:02):
wherever you listen. I'll see you Friday.
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