December 9, 2024 • 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his weekend and the things couples do that hurts the relationship!
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the thought Shower.
Intern John is my name. It was a weekend they
it's now turned into a I want to say a
bad day, but it's gonna be a different day for sure.
So I at this very moment can't find my wallet,
which is very exciting news because next week I leave
(00:22):
for a vacation. I was in a hotel this weekend
because of the bar situation and just called the hotel.
Now in granted's three third in the morning, they set
the call back for when housekeeping is there, so that
is reassuring, say the least, I would assume it's either
there or it's in a random suitcase. But the only
(00:45):
reason I would be like somewhat concerned obviously credit cards
not great. Obviously the identification need that to fly. And
also I got my finally got my Global Elite whatever
it is or not Nico Bully, what's the TSA But
it's the one where it's for Global Injury there it is,
(01:06):
so you can like go like the super fast lines allegedly.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So uh.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
At least though I misplaced my wallet so much that
it's not like a I'm not shocked right now, am I?
Annoyed a little bit with myself obviously, but I'm not
like this is the worst. Ever, however, find it. I'm like,
it's probably hidden away somewhere. Now here's the thing. Did
I have a wallet before the head and AirTag on it? Yes,
(01:33):
However the AirTag was thick and made the wallet thick,
so I wasn't really a fan of it. Now, in hindsight,
as I sit here, maybe I should have been a
fan of it. But vastly my journey today I got
there's a lot going on, dude, Like today's me a
crazy day. Go I do the show. Obviously, I have
(01:53):
to get my jacket tailored for jingle Ball which is
next week. Got hockey we're doing a film session. Then
I got practiced today. Still got a packed for the trip.
I had my Christmas party this weekend at my house.
That like, I'm getting like new stools delivered today. That's
gonna be fun. My parents coming on Wednesday. That's'd be
a lot of fun. There's just a lot of things
(02:15):
going on right now. Where again, I've talked about this before.
I go back to when I first moved here, and
maybe the first couple of years where I ain't have
a lot going on. I would just do the show
and then kind of go home. I go dude, I
would kill for one of those weeks right now. But
it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Though. It's gonna be good.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Got a lot of good things happening, the great week
at the at the restaurant, had a great week at
the We did the HIV walk we Milwalk or HIV
Walk with in honor of Sauce's uncle Tim. That was
a lot of fun this weekend as well. So today,
while you're doing whatever it is you're doing, send a
some good vibes my way as I try to find
(02:52):
my wallet and keep my head on straight for the
next couple of days until we get to a vacation time.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I want to get to this for your Monday too.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The things couples do to each other that harms their relationship,
I thought most of these seem pretty spot on, Starting
with the silent treatment. They said a silent treatment might
seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, but as
a form of emotional manipulation, shutting down communication leads your
partner feeling ignored and undervalued. Yeah, I think that, and
(03:24):
I haven't deal with that in older relationships, but it
just kind of feels like you're stonewalled. And also it's
like you're left to instead of talking things out, you're
left to kind of carry the guilt if you will,
or carry the burden of whatever stress it is because
your partner is gonna let you drown. Kind of how
(03:44):
I feel about it. Not a fam if they keep score, Yeah, dude,
relationships aren't competitions, but keeping track of wrongs can turn
them into one. Constantly bringing up past mistakes or playing
a TIF for tach creates a toxic dynamic. Partners become
adversaries rather than teammates. I think that's true because I
would also say too, if you throw out like well
(04:07):
you did this, this, and this, my mind's gonna go
to You've been thinking about this for a long time,
you know what I mean, Like you've had this in
the back of your mind for a while, just kind
of waiting for the moment to throw it out, and
now here we are.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I don't like that. I also think tvke track of score.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It kind of throws you off from what's going on
currently because it's almost like that's gonna be throwing you
off a little bit, you know what, I mean they
criticize each other in public. Yes, they say publicly calling
out your partner can be deeply humiliating. Criticizing them in
front of others doesn't solve issues one thousand percent. One
(04:45):
thousand percent. There's nothing more odd as well than when
you are with a couple that fights in front of
each other. I've mentioned this before, but like I was,
I had a couple friend ones where I would dread
hanging out with them because I knew when we were together,
she was very upset that at the time they were
not engaged and would always bring it up, always bring
(05:08):
it up and try to make him look dumb. And
I was like, Yo, you're choosing to be with him,
You've been together for a long time. That to me
is one of those things where it's like, I'm not
getting involved.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's like when you go to a friend's house and
their parents start fighting and you're like, I'm not involved
in this, dude, I'm not My thoughts absolutely not, no,
thank you. If they have frequent jealous outbursts, yes, they
say jealousy might seem a flattery at first, but frequent
outbursts reveal insecurity and mistrust. Absolutely especially if it happens
(05:43):
all the time. Right it's a long term relationship, there's
always jealousy. It's like, what caused this? Is this from
our relationship? Is this from a past relationship? If it's
from the past, do we need to go a therapy
to work on it? Also, too, man, if you're not
happy early on the relationship, it's like, do you want
that forever to always have the accused of things? I
(06:06):
don't if they refuse to own up to mistakes. I've
had this problem in past relationships where I was dating
somebody who could never admit when they were wrong. It
could be blatantly obvious, blatantly obviously that I we're wrong,
like you know, dirty handprints, whatever it is, and they
just wouldn't admit it. I was like, hey, I remember
saying once to her. I was like, hey, if you
(06:26):
just admit you were wrong and say you're sorry, we'll
move on. Nothing'd be fine. But like, the more you
keep fighting this, the more I know I'm right. And
again it was one of those things. I don't remember
the exact fight. It was a long time ago, but
it was like black and white. It's like she robbed
the bank, do you know what I mean, like relative,
(06:47):
let's it's used as example, she robbed the bank, so
one hundred percent wrong. There's no middle ground like, hey,
just say you rob the bank, right, say you're sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That way at least I know you know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That that wasn't the right thing to do and we
can move on and like, would not do it and
that was emh. If they disrespect each other name calling, beliterally,
constant criticism, they chip away self esteem and love. Respect
is the corner stone of the healthyat relationship for sure. Again,
it also goes to it's like they're your partner. You know,
(07:20):
they're supposed to be on your team, helping you guys
do things, you know each other reach goals. If it's
constant disrespect, I go back to why stay in the relationship?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
And I get it, I've stayed in long term relationships.
I get like, it's scary when that first thought comes
to your head of like ooh, maybe we shouldn't be together,
It can be very scary. By again, I go back
to would you rather be in a relationship you're not
happy in or be single and know there's something better
out there? You know, like seemingly if you're with somebody
(07:53):
you want to last forever. But do you want to
be miserable forever? I don't think so. If they act
like nothing happened after a fight, they say, failing to
address conflicts like he's both partners feeling unheard, sweeping arguments
on the rug rather than resolving them allows tensions to fester.
I think, well, it's it's kind of a mixed bag, right,
because he needs to move on after a fight. But yeah,
(08:15):
if there's no changes again, if it is something where
it's like, oh, I guess he doesn't want me robbing
the bank, he keep robbing the bank. Obviously that's not good.
And again I'm using that as like a broader example,
but it does feel like too. I think if you
have that discussion you bring up like, hey, you know
I didn't like the way he did this, that hurt
my feelings, and it feels like there's no change, Yeah,
(08:36):
then it is a little bit like, okay, so my
feelings clearly don't matter, which goes back to why am
I doing this?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Why are we doing this? You know?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Should a relationships make you feel great every single day? Well, no,
there's going to be obviously off days. But the majority
of the days. You should feel good. You know, you
should feel like you got somebody who has your back,
somebody who will you know, swing for you if needed.
I don't know a good my relationship expert absolutely not.
Clearly has not been my greatest apartment. But I just
(09:07):
know happy, healthy, that's what we want for you, so
I want for you as well. I hope you have
a fantastic week. If you could follow along at Internsjohn
Radio on Instagram, follow these shows podcast the Search, Internsjohn
in your morning show. Wherever you listen to podcasts, follow
the show as well at YMS Radio. I will see
you on Wednesday. This is the Thought Shower.
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the thought Shower.
Intern John is my name. It was a weekend they
it's now turned into a I want to say a
bad day, but it's gonna be a different day for sure.
So I at this very moment can't find my wallet,
which is very exciting news because next week I leave
(00:22):
for a vacation. I was in a hotel this weekend
because of the bar situation and just called the hotel.
Now in granted's three third in the morning, they set
the call back for when housekeeping is there, so that
is reassuring, say the least, I would assume it's either
there or it's in a random suitcase. But the only
(00:45):
reason I would be like somewhat concerned obviously credit cards
not great. Obviously the identification need that to fly. And
also I got my finally got my Global Elite whatever
it is or not Nico Bully, what's the TSA But
it's the one where it's for Global Injury there it is,
(01:06):
so you can like go like the super fast lines allegedly.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So uh.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
At least though I misplaced my wallet so much that
it's not like a I'm not shocked right now, am I?
Annoyed a little bit with myself obviously, but I'm not
like this is the worst. Ever, however, find it. I'm like,
it's probably hidden away somewhere. Now here's the thing. Did
I have a wallet before the head and AirTag on it? Yes,
(01:33):
However the AirTag was thick and made the wallet thick,
so I wasn't really a fan of it. Now, in hindsight,
as I sit here, maybe I should have been a
fan of it. But vastly my journey today I got
there's a lot going on, dude, Like today's me a
crazy day. Go I do the show. Obviously, I have
(01:53):
to get my jacket tailored for jingle Ball which is
next week. Got hockey we're doing a film session. Then
I got practiced today. Still got a packed for the trip.
I had my Christmas party this weekend at my house.
That like, I'm getting like new stools delivered today. That's
gonna be fun. My parents coming on Wednesday. That's'd be
a lot of fun. There's just a lot of things
(02:15):
going on right now. Where again, I've talked about this before.
I go back to when I first moved here, and
maybe the first couple of years where I ain't have
a lot going on. I would just do the show
and then kind of go home. I go dude, I
would kill for one of those weeks right now. But
it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Though. It's gonna be good.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Got a lot of good things happening, the great week
at the at the restaurant, had a great week at
the We did the HIV walk we Milwalk or HIV
Walk with in honor of Sauce's uncle Tim. That was
a lot of fun this weekend as well. So today,
while you're doing whatever it is you're doing, send a
some good vibes my way as I try to find
(02:52):
my wallet and keep my head on straight for the
next couple of days until we get to a vacation time.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I want to get to this for your Monday too.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The things couples do to each other that harms their relationship,
I thought most of these seem pretty spot on, Starting
with the silent treatment. They said a silent treatment might
seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, but as
a form of emotional manipulation, shutting down communication leads your
partner feeling ignored and undervalued. Yeah, I think that, and
(03:24):
I haven't deal with that in older relationships, but it
just kind of feels like you're stonewalled. And also it's
like you're left to instead of talking things out, you're
left to kind of carry the guilt if you will,
or carry the burden of whatever stress it is because
your partner is gonna let you drown. Kind of how
(03:44):
I feel about it. Not a fam if they keep score, Yeah, dude,
relationships aren't competitions, but keeping track of wrongs can turn
them into one. Constantly bringing up past mistakes or playing
a TIF for tach creates a toxic dynamic. Partners become
adversaries rather than teammates. I think that's true because I
would also say too, if you throw out like well
(04:07):
you did this, this, and this, my mind's gonna go
to You've been thinking about this for a long time,
you know what I mean, Like you've had this in
the back of your mind for a while, just kind
of waiting for the moment to throw it out, and
now here we are.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I don't like that. I also think tvke track of score.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It kind of throws you off from what's going on
currently because it's almost like that's gonna be throwing you
off a little bit, you know what, I mean they
criticize each other in public. Yes, they say publicly calling
out your partner can be deeply humiliating. Criticizing them in
front of others doesn't solve issues one thousand percent. One
(04:45):
thousand percent. There's nothing more odd as well than when
you are with a couple that fights in front of
each other. I've mentioned this before, but like I was,
I had a couple friend ones where I would dread
hanging out with them because I knew when we were together,
she was very upset that at the time they were
not engaged and would always bring it up, always bring
(05:08):
it up and try to make him look dumb. And
I was like, Yo, you're choosing to be with him,
You've been together for a long time. That to me
is one of those things where it's like, I'm not
getting involved.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's like when you go to a friend's house and
their parents start fighting and you're like, I'm not involved
in this, dude, I'm not My thoughts absolutely not, no,
thank you. If they have frequent jealous outbursts, yes, they
say jealousy might seem a flattery at first, but frequent
outbursts reveal insecurity and mistrust. Absolutely especially if it happens
(05:43):
all the time. Right it's a long term relationship, there's
always jealousy. It's like, what caused this? Is this from
our relationship? Is this from a past relationship? If it's
from the past, do we need to go a therapy
to work on it? Also, too, man, if you're not
happy early on the relationship, it's like, do you want
that forever to always have the accused of things? I
(06:06):
don't if they refuse to own up to mistakes. I've
had this problem in past relationships where I was dating
somebody who could never admit when they were wrong. It
could be blatantly obvious, blatantly obviously that I we're wrong,
like you know, dirty handprints, whatever it is, and they
just wouldn't admit it. I was like, hey, I remember
saying once to her. I was like, hey, if you
(06:26):
just admit you were wrong and say you're sorry, we'll
move on. Nothing'd be fine. But like, the more you
keep fighting this, the more I know I'm right. And
again it was one of those things. I don't remember
the exact fight. It was a long time ago, but
it was like black and white. It's like she robbed
the bank, do you know what I mean, like relative,
(06:47):
let's it's used as example, she robbed the bank, so
one hundred percent wrong. There's no middle ground like, hey,
just say you rob the bank, right, say you're sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That way at least I know you know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
That that wasn't the right thing to do and we
can move on and like, would not do it and
that was emh. If they disrespect each other name calling, beliterally,
constant criticism, they chip away self esteem and love. Respect
is the corner stone of the healthyat relationship for sure. Again,
it also goes to it's like they're your partner. You know,
(07:20):
they're supposed to be on your team, helping you guys
do things, you know each other reach goals. If it's
constant disrespect, I go back to why stay in the relationship?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
And I get it, I've stayed in long term relationships.
I get like, it's scary when that first thought comes
to your head of like ooh, maybe we shouldn't be together,
It can be very scary. By again, I go back
to would you rather be in a relationship you're not
happy in or be single and know there's something better
out there? You know, like seemingly if you're with somebody
(07:53):
you want to last forever. But do you want to
be miserable forever? I don't think so. If they act
like nothing happened after a fight, they say, failing to
address conflicts like he's both partners feeling unheard, sweeping arguments
on the rug rather than resolving them allows tensions to fester.
I think, well, it's it's kind of a mixed bag, right,
because he needs to move on after a fight. But yeah,
(08:15):
if there's no changes again, if it is something where
it's like, oh, I guess he doesn't want me robbing
the bank, he keep robbing the bank. Obviously that's not good.
And again I'm using that as like a broader example,
but it does feel like too. I think if you
have that discussion you bring up like, hey, you know
I didn't like the way he did this, that hurt
my feelings, and it feels like there's no change, Yeah,
(08:36):
then it is a little bit like, okay, so my
feelings clearly don't matter, which goes back to why am
I doing this?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Why are we doing this? You know?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Should a relationships make you feel great every single day? Well, no,
there's going to be obviously off days. But the majority
of the days. You should feel good. You know, you
should feel like you got somebody who has your back,
somebody who will you know, swing for you if needed.
I don't know a good my relationship expert absolutely not.
Clearly has not been my greatest apartment. But I just
(09:07):
know happy, healthy, that's what we want for you, so
I want for you as well. I hope you have
a fantastic week. If you could follow along at Internsjohn
Radio on Instagram, follow these shows podcast the Search, Internsjohn
in your morning show. Wherever you listen to podcasts, follow
the show as well at YMS Radio. I will see
you on Wednesday. This is the Thought Shower.
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