Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, friend, Welcome to the Thought Shower intern John is
my name back? First official new podcast I Guess of
twenty twenty five. I am sorry for the delay. If
you listen to Monday's radio show or listen to Monday's podcast,
(00:21):
you would know that my dog Chewy, who was fifteen,
sadly passed away on New Year's And it has been
a it's been a To say it's been a rough
two weeks would be putting it mildly.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
It has been. Man, I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It's so interesting because I think, I mean, I've had
people say this to me too, so I don't feel
like it's me being I don't know, higher up whatever.
I don't know many people who had a relationship with
their animal like we had, where we were connected at
the hip. If I was sitting on the couch, he
(01:00):
had to be sitting next to me. If we were
going to bed, he had to be touching me back
to back. If I was in the bathroom, he had
to be sitting outside. Wherever I went, he had to
be And it's been a I don't know, reprogramming's not
the right word. It's been a lot of the slow
(01:23):
realizing that he's not there, which is It's tough, man,
It's really tough, you know. We we I picked him
up from the vet yesterday, brought him back home, so
now at least he's home, which feels a little bit
better in an odd way, feels a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Like he's still around, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And yeah, dude, so I am yeah struggle bus for sure. Also,
I feel like I've been so emotionally worn out the
last fifteen days. Lit my body, he's starting to wear down,
as you can tell. I'm also to you as a
side note, I'm like hyper aware of my voice, probably
(02:08):
because of work. So to me, my voice sounds off
right now as I'm talking, but then when I play
this back later, it might sound normal, if that makes sense.
So anyway, I hope you're having a good year so far.
Mine obviously has started off the worst way it possibly
could positive though. That's got me. It has to get better, right,
(02:29):
can't really can't get much worse than this, So I
appreciate everybody who's reached out. I've gotten literally thousands and
thousands of messages, including messages from children, which is very,
very touching. You got a nice message from a nine
year old girl yesterday from her parents account. It's a
weird thing to say out loud. I'm not out here
(02:52):
messaging children. For the record, I believe it's the children
on their parents' account or the parents sending me the
message from the children. The more I can explain it,
the worst it sounds. But you get the idea. Anyway,
where we at this week, what are we doing for
me to try and get like you know, I basically
not taken the last two weeks off, but all my
(03:14):
other responsibilities have kind of fallen by the wayside, So
it is a bit of like try and get things
back in order, trying to you know, do life stuff.
So here we are again. I appreciate the patience is
the word, but I appreciate you understanding. It has been
a very difficult two weeks. It's gonna be a difficult
(03:37):
two thousand weeks. But here we are. Want to get
to this for your Wednesday. The signs you're with the
wrong person. At least at this point we are early
enough into the year where you can still make the change.
I would also argue that is never too late to
make that change, you know, why be miserable forever? I
(03:59):
think that's kind of like the overall goal of this
show starting with you feel lonely even when you're together,
they say, supposed to provide companionship, but you often feel
lonely even when your partner is physically present. It's a
sign of emotional disconnect. Been there before, right, I think
everybody has where it's just like they can be right
(04:20):
next to you and just feels like you're both somewhere
else and so you're alone. It's a very odd feeling,
you know, but it's almost a sign I think of
like you've cushioned yourself now you know it's going to
be over if your values don't align.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I mean that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
They say shared values are the foundation of a strong relationship.
If you and your partner a fundamentally different values on family, money, religion,
long term goals, it can create ongoing conflict. I also
think that's one of those things too where sometimes we
overlook that stuff and then I think that kind of
breeds resentment. So it's one of those things where it's
(05:00):
like maybe it is like uh one in kids, and
then you're surprised down the line they haven't changed it.
It's like, yeah, that might be a sign that it's
not gonna work out. You know, if conflict is constant
and unproductive, huge, huge, huge, huge. There's that old saying
that it's not you guys versus each other, it's you
(05:21):
verse the problem. I think that is a major thing.
They say, all couples argue, but when every disagreement turns
into a fight, nothing ever gets resolved, it's a warning sign.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah. I would also say that too.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
If it keeps happening right, it feels like it's not
getting better, that's not a good sign one hundred percent.
If you feel like you're not enough ew ewie. They
say a healthy relationship should uplift and encourage you, But
if your partner's words or actions leave you feeling inadequate,
it's a major red flag.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Man, your partner is supposed to be your biggest cheerleader.
They're supposed to be the one in your corner, you know,
come out swinging for you, celebrate your successes, be there
for you when you're sad, whatever it may be. But
if you feel like you're not enough, you're not getting
that reassurance, that's tough, man, because then I almost think
that your brain goes into like I have to be
(06:15):
super serving to them till I get that affection, and
that's not good for anybody. No, if you struggle to
be yourself around them. Ah man, Yeah, they say relationships
I feel like a safe space and you can be
your authentic self. If you feel like you have to
hide parts your personality, suppress your opinions, or adapt to conflict,
(06:36):
it's a sign something is off. I've always kind of
believed with relationships, I want them to be my peace,
if that makes sense. So if I can't be myself
or let my guard down. In theory, I suppose outside
of your coworkers, your partners, the person you spend the
most time with, if you have to be somebody else
(06:57):
around them, that's gotta be high anxiety. That's gotta be
high stress. That's gotta be high. Not a good time,
you know. That's kind of the fun part I think
of a relationship is when you can be dumb around
your person. You know, when you can just like say
something stupid, not care about it, be your goofy self.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I think that's the absolute best.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
If the constant criticism is draining, I have said this
before to my female friends in particular, if you're going
to get on your man's about something. You gotta praise
him when he does something right again, almost like training
a dog. I know that doesn't sound great. That's the reality, though,
because otherwise it's gonna feel like if you if it
(07:43):
was you give him like five tasks and he does
one really good, he's gonna feel like he's always doing
something wrong, unless, like when he does something right, he
gets praised for it. I do think dudes aim the praise,
Like we love being praised, we love doing things correctly,
we love making you happy. Uh, that's kind of that vibe,
probably the biggest one on here, to be honest, If
(08:05):
you avoid spending time together, yeah, yes, which also ties
into the last one. The friendship has disappeared. I remember
my old relationships towards the end. I just like, did
not like her anymore as a person, done some not
good things. I remember thinking, like, dude, we're not even friends.
(08:26):
Why are we still together? Like, I don't even like
you as a friend anymore. But I think that's the
true thing. Though, you get to the end of it
where it's like they say, the relationships are more about
the more than just romance, about friendship. If you've lost
the sens, camaraderie, trust and respect. The Ford the foundation
of your relationship. It can make everything feel cold and transactional.
(08:46):
One If not your best friend, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You deserve that.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
You deserve best friend, you deserve the cheerleader, you deserve
the foundation, You deserve all that stuff. Listen, man, I
can't thank you enough for the past couple of weeks.
You can follow me at Internshion Radio. I'll see you Friday.