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December 27, 2024 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about how to know if a man is stringing you along

Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Happy Friday, friend, Welcome to the thought Shower. Intern John
is my name. Hope you had a very merry Christmas.
Hope you had a chance to relax, hang with friends,
hang with family, whatever the case may be. Hopefully you
are now getting ready to bring in twenty twenty five.
By the way, if you're looking for a place to

(00:20):
bring in twenty twenty five, I will be a big
Night DC the Gay Lord National Harbor, myself, Kyle Crummer
doing stand up comedy. Give me a lot of fun.
Great way to bring in twenty twenty five. All the info.
Big Night DC dot com. That's big night, DC dot com.
Your boy is tired today. I sometimes line to myself

(00:44):
and be, oh, yeah, I can stay up a little
bit later. And the case of that is no, I can't.
What I try to do usually is powered down by
like eight thirty at the latest, because I get up
at two forty, so that's the lead six hours, you
know what I mean? But like man, this some days
and last night I probably fell asleep around I don't

(01:07):
even know, nine thirty, maybe ten's got about give four
hours today. Struggle bus Express, Struggle Bus Express. But it's
gonna be fun. It gonna be a lot worse. I've
been trying to do this too. I saw this a
while ago, where if you wake up and you feel tired,
you're not supposed to address the fact that you feel tired.

(01:28):
You're supposed to say something like today, I will find
time to rest. And the idea is if you have
that kind of mindset, if you have the more positive
mindset that things are gonna be okay, things will eventually
be okay. I like that idea. I think it makes
a lot of sense. Has it changed my life drastically?

(01:49):
I don't know, you know what I mean. I don't
know if it's really changed it that much. But it
feels good. So today I will find time to rest. However,
today is crazy busy, got got a lot of things
going on. Well I actually find time. I don't know.
I want to get to this fear Friday, though the

(02:10):
warning signs a man is stringing you along in a relationship.
Oh hey, No, do I think dudes do this? Yeah?
I think at some point dudes get a little bit
scary and not scaredly, a little bit scared to uh
take on the mantle, so to speak. I do think
there's something too and I've read this somewhere that like

(02:32):
when you are a dude and you have sons, you
are training your replacement. You know, you're training the next
head of the family. I do think there is something
in younger dudes where it's like almost like afraid that
when you get in a decommit like that, like you know,
like you are gearing up to be the patriarch if

(02:53):
you will, and it can be scary. I do think
there's something to that. The first sign is he's never
quite ready for the next step. When every conversation about
commitment ends with him saying I'm just not ready, it's
a big red flag. He's stalling for no good reason,
whether it's moving in, meeting the family, even calling his girlfriend,
there's always an excuse. I have said this from the jump.

(03:15):
When a dude likes you, really really likes you, he
wants you to meet his friends of family right away,
right away, mainly so that they can get off his case.
And that's a thing to you where if you meet
the you meet the friends, like guys, friends will rag
on them for you know, not hanging out as much.

(03:36):
But if you meet his friends and you're cool, then
it's friendly. Malone. It's a win win if there's a
reason why it hasn't happened. Somethings off family, maybe a
little bit different friends, though, I think that's one where
it's like, yeah, you try to knock that out right away.
If he's all talk and zero action, they say I
really like you, sounds great. But if his actions scream differently,

(03:59):
then pay attention to what he does, not what he says.
Maybe he promises playings with cancels last minute, or it
says you're important but really makes time for you. Words
are easy, effort, takes real intention. Now I will say
this in defense of myself. I'm a very busy person,
very busy. Again, this has been recorded in advance. But

(04:21):
so like yesterday, my day was, I did the show,
had meetings the station till about ten thirty, went back
to my house, let the dogs out, I laid down
for ten minutes, got up, went to the gym at one,
left the gym about two thirty, got to the high
school about three. We watched some game film for a practice,

(04:44):
then got to real practice at like five, off the
ice of six. Home by like seven ish and then
Stella do work for today's show. So The reason I
say this is for me. You know, I have a
lot of responsibility with the show, comedy, with hockey, So

(05:04):
for me to make time for somebody, it has to
be somebody who knocks me off my feet, you know.
And that's the same. I would expect the same for
somebody else too, you know what I mean, Because it
is like I don't want to the people depend on me,
so I can't just rush full into something or even
clear up like full pockets of time. It's like it's

(05:24):
not possible. Will it be eventually? Oh yeah, But in
the beginning stages it's a little bit harder for sure.
If he dodges the where is this going question? Ask
him about where the relationship is headed, he suddenly changes
the subject or is giving vague answers like let's not
rush things. They say, A mancos he's a feature with
you won't shy away from discussing it. I do always
think too, like he will try to lock you down,

(05:49):
No doubt, he'll try to lock you down right away.
Because it is like, dudes realize how great you are,
right they realize how amazing you are. The thoughts in
their head, like other people probably see this too, other
dudes are probably also aware of how great you are.
I need to lock this in for sure. If you
always feel like you're on his schedule, they see if

(06:11):
every plan is built in his schedule, it's a sign
you're not his top priority. Okay, I'll say this. If
you're dating somebody for months, different story. Right, If you're
just in like the talking phase, or like you've been,
you know, hanging out for a couple of weeks, I
don't think this necessarily applies. But if you've been like
dating dating, Yeah, he keeps you away from his inner circle.

(06:33):
We talked about this, talked about this. Dudes want to
get you in the circle as soon as possible. That's
I mean, that's no doubt that that's the way we go.
He won't use the G word if you've seen each
other for months or longer, but he won't call you
his girlfriend. That's a problem. Phrase is like, let's just
see where it goes. Our way to keep things casual

(06:54):
while you're hoping for more. No doubt. Yeah again, I
think that dudes, when they're into you, they want to
stake their claim, so to speak, right away gets you
off the market, no doubt. If he's comparing you to
his ex. Talking about in X is one thing. Constantly
bringing up as another. Whether he's praises and are putting
her down is always part of the conversation. Yeah, I've

(07:17):
never don't think in my life compared somebody those dating
to an X also too, because they're all so different,
you know what I mean? Kind of the point if
you ask me, if you feel more confused and happy
at the end of the day. Relationship should be fun,
not leaving a constant state of uncertainty. Yep. If you're
always questioning his intentions, wonder how he feels, or second

(07:38):
guessing yourself, it's not a good sign. Love isn't supposed
to feel like a guessing game. A man who is
genuinely invested in you will make it clear, not through
words alone, but consistent intentional actions. I think that's fair
also to you. I mean, dudes are aren't necessarily the
best understanding our feelings either, but I do agree with that. Yes,

(07:59):
if you have it's accountability at all costs. Yes, when
things go wrong, does he own up to or shift
the blame. It's always somebody else's fault or worse yet,
somehow yours. It's a sign he's not mature enough to
handle a real relationship. Yeah, that's a little boy, you know,
especially because, as I've said on this podcast numerous times,

(08:20):
it's so much easier just to take blame if it's
something you did. It's so much easier to be like, Yep,
I did it, I was wrong. I apologize makes things
so much easier because I feel like so many people
don't do that. That puts you miles ahead. If you do,
no doubt, I mean, it's not even close to one more.

(08:44):
If he's a master at bread crumbing, we should take
a trip together. I wanted to see my family. All
great ideas that they actually happen. Empty promises are a
way to keep you hopeful without requiring real effort. I
have said this. Men are experts at extending time, you
know what I mean, like adding time, trying to run
the clock up manner experts at this, whether it's the

(09:05):
promise ring, whether it's moving in, whoever it is, it
is what we do. Anyway. Hope you have a great weekend.
Hope you had a very merry Christmas. If you get
a chance, following me at Internjohn Radio. You can also
listen to the show podcast and search intern John or
your morning show wherever you get your podcasts
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