Using You - 1033

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his upcoming weekend, and how to know if someone is using you

Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available for preorder right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Happy Friday, friend, Welcome to the Thought Shower intern John
is my name? My goodness. Another week down, almost through
October only what I mean two months left in the year.
My god, dude, what a year it has been. Uh,
thank you for listening, Thanks for joining. If you're new, Hello,

(00:23):
if you've been here for a minute. Also hello. All right,
we're off to a sorry. I'm excited for this weekend,
Halloween weekend. Not so much for that, but the my
bar is open, which is exciting. I've been living in
a hotel basically the last month, and that has its benefits.
That has its downsides. The biggest downside right now seems

(00:46):
to be every weekend. I booked this hotel that I'm
saying at there's a bunch of schools there because it's
obviously DC and it's expansive. The reason I go this
particular hotel is that number one, they allowed dogs. Number two,
the hotel is set up in a way that's very
easy to sneak the dogs into the hotel. By that,

(01:08):
I mean you park the car yourself, you bring your
car up, you get to go. There's one thing I
can't stand about hotels. It's the hotels that make you
valet your car and then they don't have enough valet
guys working, you know what I mean. And it's not
that against the valet guys, but it'll be like, Okay, yeah,
you have value your car, and it'll be like thirty

(01:29):
minutes to get your car back because there's one poor
guy who has to run down and back. And the
issue for me is like there's been times where I
have vale the car somewhere and like had to get
up for work in the morning, and I've told them like, hey,
if we at the vala whatever, but just see, you know,
I'm leaving at three thirty, and then comes three thirty

(01:49):
and there's nobody there. I've had an uber to work
from hotels before, even though my car was there. I
can't stand it. So this hotel doesn't have that. It's
it's very lovely. That was kind of bummed us trying
to step this is a minor complaint my Amazon firestick
to watch Netflix and stuff. It didn't work anyway. The

(02:11):
album comes out a week from today, which is crazy.
Intern jehon the album, It's crazy because there's a chance
that next Friday, by this time I have the number
one comedy album in the world which say that out
loud doesn't seem real, and I think that I wouldn't

(02:32):
think it was possible if not, if I had not
seen how much support I've had along the way with
everything we try to do for Fisher House. So if
you get a chance, internsjeoncomedy dot com, the album is
six bucks. All goes to the Fisherosse Foundation. I really appreciate.
I know they do as well. It would be very
cool if you've been to a show, if you know

(02:54):
somebody who's been to a show, please pass the along,
intern geoncomedy dot com. Yeah, so this weekend for me,
basically it's doing bar stuff and then hockey's coming. Man
Like we've had some preseason skates I'd not been able
to attend thus far, but it's coming. Yeah, some other
big stuff coming to some my New Year's stuff. Actually

(03:15):
I can probably announce that too. I think I'm doing
if you want to see me do comedy, I am
doing Big Night d C, which is very exciting. Uh
So Big Night DC is like the the biggest New
Year's party around. It's at the Gaylard National Harbor and

(03:36):
your boy doing stam up comedy, which is very exciting.
It's their first time doing comedy. Uh, it's gonna be
a lot of fun myself, Kyle Krumer. So, if you're
looking for somebody to go for New Year's Big Night
DC dot com, that's Big Night DC dot Com. I
would love to see you. It's gonna be a lot
of fun. The Gaylard like they they do it man

(03:56):
like they really really do it, like big big, So
I would love to see for that as well for
your Friday. I want to get to this the hidden
behaviors that show you someone's using you for your own gain,
now for their own game. Rather. This is one of
those things where I do think there's a lot of
transactional relationships when you're an adult. I don't necessarily think

(04:20):
that's a bad thing per se. I don't think necessarily
it's like a devious thing. It could just be like
you enjoy talking to somebody, positive transaction. But I do
think that I realized folks who if I wasn't in
a position of public opinion, maybe they would not mess
with me. I know that starting with the only call

(04:41):
when they need something. Yes, now there are people when
they call I know, it's like it's a business call right.
But there are people where it's like it's like, hey, Hi,
what's new with you? And like I'll say, hey, just
ask you know what I mean, just ask? They only

(05:02):
you only hear from them when they have nea favor
or advice. Yeah, I think that's that's kind of fair.
They never match your effort, no doubt. If you're always
the one doing the heavy lifting, whether it's planning hangouts,
offering help, or just doing the conversation. There is nothing
more miserable than being stuck in a bad conversation that

(05:22):
you have to lead. It's like, literally the phrase pulling
teeth is like, oh God, why am I sweating so
hard to get something going here? If the conversations always
turn back to them. I've had people before in the
past where it's like, hey, I could literally have a
more positive conversation with the wall, legitimily because at least

(05:47):
the wall we'll pretend to listen. If they disappear when
you need them, I mean this kind of ties to
the first one. But yeah, if they're always around with
as good times, but when like you need the smallest thing,
they can't come through. I've noticed that before because I
tryed to ask people for a favors unless I really

(06:08):
need it. Like if I really need something, then I ask.
But if I notice, like, oh, you're not around for anything,
I'll remember that. If they take credit for your hard work. Yeah,
I've had folks in the past try to do that
stuff with work. It's what I always tell people to, like,
document everything everything, whether it's an email, whether it's a conversation,

(06:32):
write down, write down. It's good to have it sometimes
for your own timeline too, Like I've done that with
things like career wise and just life wise, and for
me not even like in a playing in a court
case type of way, but I gues it's good just
to have a timeline of things. There's just so much
going on a daily basis. Is good to be a
look and go, okay, this is what happened here, This
is what happened here. If they constantly push your boundaries,

(06:57):
say it starts as small favors, they seem as harmless,
but they're pushing for more and more and more. If
they're always testing limits, ignoring your no, they don't respect
your boundaries. I think that's fair and that could be
something even it's just like starting fights a family or
a person you're talking to. Yeah, if they don't respect
that stuff. To me, it's also like a very gross
feeling too. When do you tell somebody, hey, I don't

(07:20):
like this and they keep doing it? No, no, no no.
If they guilt you into doing things, yeah, I mean
that's also because like they're using you, right if they
make you do things for their own benefit. Again, I
guess I can use my examples. It's just like people
be like, hey, would you come to this event or

(07:40):
talk to this person and not like a listener bick
in a business thing. It's like, yo, I don't want to,
you know, especially if like I'm on vacation or something
like that. It's like nah, if they make you feel
like you owe them, yes, they say somehow they twist
things to make it feel like you owe them, even
when you've done every thing for them. It's manipative and

(08:02):
to keep you giving even when you've already given enough
for sure, or they have to do on their own
and pour them. Yeah. I don't like that guilt stuff too,
especially because like this type of person is so emotionally
draining as it is, and then on top of it,
to make you feel like you owe them it's like,
owe you what, dude? What more do I have to give?

(08:26):
If they keep a tally of everything they do for you?
That is so weird. But I know it happens almost
like legit. It's like they're putting it on your tab,
and it's like, why would you? If we're friends? Though,
why are you literally keeping tab of all the good
things you do? Also? I would argue, if you can
rattle off all the good things you've done for somebody,

(08:49):
you probably haven't done that many good things, you know
what I mean? If you're in a long relationship, a
long friendship, and you can name all the good things
you've done for us somebody, have you really done a
lot of good things? I don't know, or at least
like not playing out things like off the cuff? I
don't think that's the case. Also, hold on a second,

(09:11):
what does off the cuff mean? Let me use uh
without preparation? But what is that? Uh? Like? Where does
it come from? Though? Why is it called off the cuff?
I don't watch your video on it? Uh little no
preparation or or forethought. It doesn't really quite well. I

(09:36):
was really hoping that would be like a here's why
we say off the cuff. It doesn't matter. You know what,
it doesn't matter. Have fantastic Friday. Please, if you get
a chance, pre order my album intern John the album.
It's six dollars again. We need these pre sales to
be big. That way we have a chance to going
number one in the world. Internshooncomedy dot com. That's internsjohncomedy
dot com. Pre sale ends on Thursday. I'll see a

(09:59):
Monday internsoon, comedy dot com.