July 27, 2023 • 20 mins
07/27/2023 - Took the family to see P!nk in concert; it was AWESOME! Had an appearance at a Fair and witnessed a demolition derby. Feedback about “Boot Man” and his extreme kink. A woman named Hanna calls in to give me a hard time about how I talk about marriage and the ladies and their cheating ways. Blake from Sales has a deep one-on-one chat with one of my ex-girlfriends.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
You are listening to Kid Chris offAir. Welcome to Thursday, July twenty
seventh. This is uh kid Chrisoff Air, meaning this is a podcast
where I'm not on air talking aboutwhatever. Man stuff that doesn't make the
(00:23):
air or that I know can't goon the fucking area, you know,
like fuck shit, piss whatever,you know, the curse. Like for
some reason people are like, ohyeah, I think it's hilarious when you
curse. I don't know what thebig deal is, but if that's gonna
win, good fun, fun fun, fuck, I gotta admit I'm very,
very exhausted. I was out untila quarter to midnight last night with
(00:44):
my family. We went and sawthe Pink concert. Now, if you
haven't seen Pink, holy shit.She is incredible live. I was blown
away about by all the shit shedoes. She got a live band with
her. I mean, pop musicusually they just come out and lip sync.
There's no up sinking with her.And while that's happening, she's jumping
around on stage. She's got dancers, she's flipping around on these these acrobatic
(01:07):
things and stuff. I mean,she's out of her fucking mind. It's
crazy. I've never seen anything likeit before. It was a good time.
I knew every song. I meanshit, I remember I was on
Top forty radio when she debuted,so I remember playing that stuff. Anyways,
she's uh, it's a good showto see live. I know she's
gonna be in the Philadelphia area whereshe's from, actually, so if you're
(01:30):
in that area listening, you gottago check her out and tell me how
it is. I wonder if shedoes anything special because it's her hometown,
but she's been doing it a wholeBut wow, that was a pretty pretty
good show. And she played atthe where the Reds play at Great American
Ballpark, and the place was fuckingpacked. I don't know if it was
sold out or not, but itwas packed. And then, um,
(01:55):
I can't remember what would I dolast time that It was the Reds game
when Stewart got who drunk and chattedtoo much. But oh, in between
there I had to go. Thisis the very first time I've ever been
to a demolition derby. I hadto be out at the Warren County Fair
here in the tri state Cincinnati area. Okay, I had an appearance out
(02:16):
there, and you know, Idon't to me that that sh it's fun.
So I go out, and ofcourse I get there a little early,
so I parked and I go rightin to find the goats because I
want to see goats. I likego into the fairs because of the goats
and the other animals that you couldyou could pet all that shit. To
me, that's awesome anyway, SoI hung out with goats. Then I
(02:38):
had to host like the uh well, first I had a w EBN car
into Demolition Derby where I could statesaid, I could spray paint and put
the logo on there and all thatstuff. Now, I I assumed,
and other people that too, thatI was going to be driving this car
into Demo Derby, and I wasfine with that. But come to find
out, these guys they put abunch of money into these things and they
(03:01):
compete for cash. Like the cashprize that night in the heat that my
car, the kid Chris WBN carwas going to be in it was like
fifteen hundred bucks for the person whowins, you know, who's ever left
over. And and the guy didn'tyou know he putting his money into this
thing, to this car. Actuallyhe said he still had two car payments
(03:23):
left on this car. It wasall smashed up that I spray painted anyways,
so rightfully, so he wanted todrive it because you know, he
had a chance to win it.I was just gonna go out there and
fuck around anyway, So I didn'tget to drive, but I did stay
for the thing. And it startedabout almost two hours late because there was
a huge line of traffic getting intothis place with all these people that had
(03:43):
their cars. Anyways, this waslike something I've never seen before. And
if you've been to a demolition derby, you know what I'm talking about.
It is so fucking funny and exciting. These guys are just out there smashing
into each other, and like Isaid, they put there, They put
cash into these cars. It isa big deal to these dudes all year
long. And there's rules to ittoo, Like these guys sometimes they get
(04:08):
they get caught, like putting cementinside the frames, so they waste a
car down and it makes it stronger. I mean, it's really incredible how
these guys we'll try to come upwith ways to win these demolition derbys,
like you know, like having noback tires, just having them be on
the rims. If it's a frontyou know, I guess a front reel
drive. I don't know, there'sa whole whole thing. And they start
(04:29):
them young too. They had kidsthere with souped up like little uh those
cars that you you ride around andwhen you're like a little kid, like
my kids had a little little carthat was run on battery that they used
to drive around the neighborhood and itwas from frozen. They had like a
bunch of little kids, even littlegirls, that had those things that they
were souped up, and they startedthem early, smashing into each other that
(04:50):
young anyway, So that was theWarren County Fair. It was a blast,
and I'm psyched for next year hopefullyI'm invited again. And then last,
I want to get the phone calls, by the way too. When
I go on live, I willtweet out that I'm in here in the
studio at home taking phone calls atfive one three eight one three seven nine
(05:14):
seven nine. Now even when I'mnot on, you can leave a voicemail
for me and we'll review it.Okay, And speaking of reviews, I
invite you if you listen to thispodcast, you can listen on YouTube.
You can listen on all the placesyou get podcasts and stuff. But on
the Apple podcast, if you writea review, you know, you can
write something funny or whatever, insulting. As long as it's funny and entertaining.
(05:35):
I want to read them. There'sbeen because some good stuff that's come
through and starting to pick up alot. So that's cool. If you
go on there and do that forme, please and spread the love as
well by giving a good like afive star rating. They say that helps
out with shit. Um, alot of comments on Tuesday show when the
Bootman called in. That was thedude. He's called it a radio show
(05:59):
before because he's from this area,the Try State Cincinnati area. But we
couldn't get into it as deep ashis fetish goes. So on this show,
in any show I do, everybody'swelcome, of course, you know,
it's an open door policy. Thebug light, the failure, the
socially unacceptable are accepted. All thelittle terms we've come up within the past.
(06:23):
Now it's to the point where evenif you have a kink, that's
fine, but we don't get justpeople with kinks. We get people with
extreme kinks. This guy was notjust into shoes. You know, people
have shoe fetishes and stuff. Thisguy liked to get shoes mailed to him
to his po box. That's whyhe called my radio show. But he
told me last week on the podcasta graphic detail that he likes to lay
(06:45):
on his floor in his living roomand smell one boot and shove the other
one in his asshole. I mean, that's a Saturday night that to me
is exciting. But it is coolthat the guy came on and uh did
share that with us boot Man.So if you missed that, if you
(07:09):
didn't get a chance to hear it, check it out on Tuesday's podcast.
Okay, the one right before thisone, because this is the Thursday podcast.
This is a fair Who are you? You're on the air. What's
your name? My name's Hannah,Hannah from where? Um? How old
(07:32):
are you? Hannah? Thirty two? Why are you laughing about that?
Because it's oh I hate it.What do you do for work? I'm
a supper all right. I alreadyknow that you're a fucking liar, just
trying to keep your fans involved.Okay, so now you're being angry.
(07:54):
What do you do for work forreal? I sell software? How boring
is that? Well? Yeah,but that's that's that's far from stripper.
No, I know. Do youhave a Do you have a Facebook?
I do, but it's private.No, it's not. You gonna text
(08:16):
me a picture so I could checkyou out? And shit, oh that's
you. That's true. Do youhave a guy? Yeah? I'm married
you are? Yeah? I justlove your show? Now does your does
your guy listen of course every morning? Yeah? Of course. Is it
sexy for you when a guy willjust hover over you and jerk off on
your titties? Go ahead, No, that's really creepy. What is hot
(08:41):
to you? Go ahead? Theopposite of that? I guess what is
the opposite of that? Paying yourbills? Right? Oh, that's funny.
No, I I grab my son. Yeah right, go ahead,
go ahead, hand and say,go ahead and say, I think it's
(09:01):
hot when a when a man buysme a new car, when a man
doesn't touch me, he does.Man, you got jilted by some chick
one day who you paid for ariving for because it's called marriage. No,
No, what is sexy to youdon't matter? What is sexy to
(09:24):
you? Go ahead, Hannah,you don't have the answer because it has
to do with money. Actually,no, I do. I do.
You don't want to hear it?Yeah, someone who's funny, who isn't
trying to get in your pants.That's bullshit. So you want you want
a fucking gay dude? It tellsjokes for a husband? What the fuck?
(09:46):
What is that when he's not likeactively trying to get in your pants
in like, it's very obvious.It's just like, dude, bro,
go away. Oh so you're upsetwhen a guy lust after you. I
would think that would be something thata woman wants. I don't. I
don't get upset at all. Ijust said, like, no, that's
not a track of Oh. Sowhat's attractive to you is a guy who
(10:09):
could tell jokes, who has nodick. You're making my words into something
else, something else being the truth. So you're saying you want a guy
that will do all the who willpay for everything in the house or half.
Oh no, no, it's fine. You want a guy pay myself.
(10:30):
Okay, So you want a guy, Okay, okay, night.
So what do you want from aguy? Then you want a guy that
could tell jokes, wants nothing todo with touching you sexually, and what
else? For God's sake. Look, how do you turn words around?
That's funny? You just said it, did you not say what turns you
(10:50):
on? A guy who is funnyand who doesn't like actively try and getting
your pants like a creep? Soso you want so you want? So?
You want Larry the cable guy that'sgay, PSA, everyone listening,
(11:13):
that's a male and trading girl.Don't try and get your pants like very
obviously, yeah, and that thatthat and then what will happen? I
want a guy that's funny who doesn'ttry to get my pants and then I'll
cheat on him with a guy who'ssexy that I always wants to have sex
with me and makes me feel sexy. Why do you hate women, my
(11:35):
coll I don't. I don't hatewomen. I'm just trying to figure out
what it is that you want.I'm trying to figure out. No,
I'm trying to figure out what youwant because you don't know what you want.
Do you have kids? You know? And I already said what I
want and you warped it into somebullshit? How did I warp it into
some bullshit? You said you wanta guy that's funny, Well, you
(11:56):
want a guy to fuck you,but not want to fu Yeah I didn't
say that. No, you saidyou want a guy. That's that's funny,
that doesn't try to get in mypants at the moment, right like
if a girl's going out to abar. Oh please, oh please?
What do you mean, Oh pleasesend me a picture? Goddamn it,
(12:18):
fine, do it right fucking now. I know you're not gonna do you
actually want me to This is bullshit? All right, I will. There's
your advice, fuck advice, Textit to me right now. Goddamn it.
Don't be lippy. Just do whatI said. Okay, master,
(12:41):
Yeah, hey listen, I madeyou laugh, so you should be turned
on. It's a bullshit. Heymake me laugh. Do a fucking comedy
show. I need a tight fortyfive from you, and then don't try
to fuck me off, all right? As promised, or Buddy from sales
requested an opportunity to uh have alittle sit down discussion and an in depth
(13:07):
interview with one of my exes.Now. Shonda is an ex girlfriend from
Wichita, Kansas. This is yearsago. We broke up in like two
thousand and one. All right.I started dating around out nineteen ninety nine
or something like that anyway, Soshe moved out from Wichita to Sacramento.
It didn't last long anyways, allthis stuff. So she's agreed to talk
with Blake from sales. But Blake, I told him to call around this
(13:28):
time. She's not on the phoneyet. Our little tempresses you get a
call tonight. Hold on, she'scalling right now. Hi, Hi,
hold on, Blake. Let mealight, Let me get it all out
here first. You're very popular.Everybody wants to hear from you. Geez,
do you mind if I sit backand let Blake interview you? Okay,
(13:50):
I mean I'll answer everything. Goahead, Blake, it's all yours.
Yeah. Did you know? Didyou know that that kids, Chris
was in love with you? Well, you should have told me sooner.
I wouldn't have left. No.He told me later that he was really
hurt by that, and uh,because he really thought you were the one
(14:11):
because he said you got great cans. Is that true? Oh? I
guess. Yeah. How did youfeel about living in a shack with Cobra
with Chris? It was a shack, it was it was we had twin
bed. We had a twin bedfor a long time, yes, And
(14:33):
we finally got it with strawberry shorttat that's right, my strawberry shortcake sheets.
And I had two two sheets.I had strawberry shortcake sheets and I
think it was mash and I thinkthe only time ever washed the strawberry shortcake
sheets was when Shanda came into mylife. So I would just rotate back
(14:54):
and forth, um in our livingroom into the kitchen. There was like
some little hallway, so we werewe were so creative that we put beads,
you know those like those beads tohang down so when you walk into
the kitchen you had to walk throughthe beads. We made that from home.
Yeah, it was a good itwas a good home. It was
(15:16):
that the first time you lived awayfrom your parents. Yes, it was
Actually did your parents like Kid Chris? Yeah he did. He didn't come
around a lot, and my momlikes to listen to him on the radio.
How was it watching watching Kid Chrisget fired? Oh, it didn't
bother me. I was just hedidn't care. It was I was probably
(15:37):
worried that he didn't care. Sowhen he jumped right back in it,
so it was good. But that'sfunny song that because when he got fired
from Philadelphia. He didn't care either. It is kid Chris good in bed.
Yes he was. I had.He says that he's he's an inadequate
lover because he didn't have the rightequipment. It doesn't matter. That doesn't
(16:00):
matter. Now hold on a minute. First of all, Blake, I
never said that. But you didthat bump with him. He was able
to achieve that, that you climaxwith him. Yeah, oh yeah.
When we lived in Sacramento. Whenwe lived in Sacramento, we had note
(16:22):
bust on our door because they thewalls versus den and people could hear hang
on, keep talking. I'm strokingit good, me too. The other
thing is, did you ever engagein anal sex before Kid Chris? No?
Really, he was the first.Well I didn't know that. Yeah.
What kind of lub are you guysusing? Um? I think it's
(16:45):
called wet Oh that's the good stuff. Yeah, that is the good stuff.
I'm actually using a brand called fuckwater right now. Hey, I'm
really I'm really proud that you wereable to give up the key stir to
Cobra. That's that's the power movement. What are you able to achieve a
climax from anal anal effects I didone time? Oh good for you?
(17:10):
When now were you playing with yourselfwhile? Yeah? Who is that with
me? Yeah? You're the onlyfirst one I've done that with. Okay,
all right now, when when youclimax do you squirt? No?
Really? Next question time? Iknow, I know, believe me,
He'll go long for this. It'sworth it. Do you so have you
(17:33):
ever been with a black guy?I'm not going to answer that right now.
Yes, keep in mind. CanI ask you one more question?
This is an important question for theaudience. How Chris mentioned that like you
were like early in the innovation ofshaving down there, and he said that
you didn't have you didn't have anyass fighters whatsoever. Didd you shade back
(17:56):
there? Do you just naturally haveno hair back there? Because naturally have
no hair back there? No,blake, she didn't have hair back there,
but I remember it being bald,and she had like a little a
little freckle on the side of thevagina or no, the vagina, it's
(18:17):
right on the side. Oh god, God, I would just love to
give that thing a little rabbit kisses. Well, I mean, you fly
there, they have a brand newairport, there fly in. I'll just
wing on into wit took for that, For that little freckle, I saw
that. I think that's all wegot. You've been You've been amazing.
(18:41):
First of all, your phone's fuckedup. This is why I broke up
with you. You don't know howto do it. Forget it now,
What were you gonna say? No? When you were at the station,
working in the rabbit station and youcalled me to bring you a pair of
swords because you had to go tothe bathroom and nobody was there to relieve
(19:02):
you to let you go. Youhey, listen, oh yes, oh
my god, hey what what?What? What did you think of his
tonails when you when you saw histonails? We're all fungus. It was
pretty bad, But I mean itwas real. You hear what she said.
(19:25):
She said, I wasn't fucking yourfeet. What a trooper. I
know that's true. If I wantedto, I probably could have had Shanda
and one of her sisters. Ohshut up, yes, I could have
either one of them. I'm hangingout now, Shanda. Um as always.
You know, it was a pleasureand I love you. I love
(19:45):
you. Well, we'll talk again. Look, I'm sure we will keep.
Yeah, keep keep those titties,bouncy girl, Blake. The new
the new airport in which I wentthere. You know, Shanda, you
know Gavin died. Yes, Iwent to Wichita for Avin Larry from high
school's funeral. And the new thenew airport looks beautiful. So so Blake,
(20:07):
Blake, use some use some airlinepoints and get the Wichita. Oh
shut up, whatever I'm going.No, Blake's got a big one.
I've seen it. You guys,have a good night. Hi, thanks
for listening to Off Air
You are listening to Kid Chris offAir. Welcome to Thursday, July twenty
seventh. This is uh kid Chrisoff Air, meaning this is a podcast
where I'm not on air talking aboutwhatever. Man stuff that doesn't make the
(00:23):
air or that I know can't goon the fucking area, you know,
like fuck shit, piss whatever,you know, the curse. Like for
some reason people are like, ohyeah, I think it's hilarious when you
curse. I don't know what thebig deal is, but if that's gonna
win, good fun, fun fun, fuck, I gotta admit I'm very,
very exhausted. I was out untila quarter to midnight last night with
(00:44):
my family. We went and sawthe Pink concert. Now, if you
haven't seen Pink, holy shit.She is incredible live. I was blown
away about by all the shit shedoes. She got a live band with
her. I mean, pop musicusually they just come out and lip sync.
There's no up sinking with her.And while that's happening, she's jumping
around on stage. She's got dancers, she's flipping around on these these acrobatic
(01:07):
things and stuff. I mean,she's out of her fucking mind. It's
crazy. I've never seen anything likeit before. It was a good time.
I knew every song. I meanshit, I remember I was on
Top forty radio when she debuted,so I remember playing that stuff. Anyways,
she's uh, it's a good showto see live. I know she's
gonna be in the Philadelphia area whereshe's from, actually, so if you're
(01:30):
in that area listening, you gottago check her out and tell me how
it is. I wonder if shedoes anything special because it's her hometown,
but she's been doing it a wholeBut wow, that was a pretty pretty
good show. And she played atthe where the Reds play at Great American
Ballpark, and the place was fuckingpacked. I don't know if it was
sold out or not, but itwas packed. And then, um,
(01:55):
I can't remember what would I dolast time that It was the Reds game
when Stewart got who drunk and chattedtoo much. But oh, in between
there I had to go. Thisis the very first time I've ever been
to a demolition derby. I hadto be out at the Warren County Fair
here in the tri state Cincinnati area. Okay, I had an appearance out
(02:16):
there, and you know, Idon't to me that that sh it's fun.
So I go out, and ofcourse I get there a little early,
so I parked and I go rightin to find the goats because I
want to see goats. I likego into the fairs because of the goats
and the other animals that you couldyou could pet all that shit. To
me, that's awesome anyway, SoI hung out with goats. Then I
(02:38):
had to host like the uh well, first I had a w EBN car
into Demolition Derby where I could statesaid, I could spray paint and put
the logo on there and all thatstuff. Now, I I assumed,
and other people that too, thatI was going to be driving this car
into Demo Derby, and I wasfine with that. But come to find
out, these guys they put abunch of money into these things and they
(03:01):
compete for cash. Like the cashprize that night in the heat that my
car, the kid Chris WBN carwas going to be in it was like
fifteen hundred bucks for the person whowins, you know, who's ever left
over. And and the guy didn'tyou know he putting his money into this
thing, to this car. Actuallyhe said he still had two car payments
(03:23):
left on this car. It wasall smashed up that I spray painted anyways,
so rightfully, so he wanted todrive it because you know, he
had a chance to win it.I was just gonna go out there and
fuck around anyway, So I didn'tget to drive, but I did stay
for the thing. And it startedabout almost two hours late because there was
a huge line of traffic getting intothis place with all these people that had
(03:43):
their cars. Anyways, this waslike something I've never seen before. And
if you've been to a demolition derby, you know what I'm talking about.
It is so fucking funny and exciting. These guys are just out there smashing
into each other, and like Isaid, they put there, They put
cash into these cars. It isa big deal to these dudes all year
long. And there's rules to ittoo, Like these guys sometimes they get
(04:08):
they get caught, like putting cementinside the frames, so they waste a
car down and it makes it stronger. I mean, it's really incredible how
these guys we'll try to come upwith ways to win these demolition derbys,
like you know, like having noback tires, just having them be on
the rims. If it's a frontyou know, I guess a front reel
drive. I don't know, there'sa whole whole thing. And they start
(04:29):
them young too. They had kidsthere with souped up like little uh those
cars that you you ride around andwhen you're like a little kid, like
my kids had a little little carthat was run on battery that they used
to drive around the neighborhood and itwas from frozen. They had like a
bunch of little kids, even littlegirls, that had those things that they
were souped up, and they startedthem early, smashing into each other that
(04:50):
young anyway, So that was theWarren County Fair. It was a blast,
and I'm psyched for next year hopefullyI'm invited again. And then last,
I want to get the phone calls, by the way too. When
I go on live, I willtweet out that I'm in here in the
studio at home taking phone calls atfive one three eight one three seven nine
(05:14):
seven nine. Now even when I'mnot on, you can leave a voicemail
for me and we'll review it.Okay, And speaking of reviews, I
invite you if you listen to thispodcast, you can listen on YouTube.
You can listen on all the placesyou get podcasts and stuff. But on
the Apple podcast, if you writea review, you know, you can
write something funny or whatever, insulting. As long as it's funny and entertaining.
(05:35):
I want to read them. There'sbeen because some good stuff that's come
through and starting to pick up alot. So that's cool. If you
go on there and do that forme, please and spread the love as
well by giving a good like afive star rating. They say that helps
out with shit. Um, alot of comments on Tuesday show when the
Bootman called in. That was thedude. He's called it a radio show
(05:59):
before because he's from this area,the Try State Cincinnati area. But we
couldn't get into it as deep ashis fetish goes. So on this show,
in any show I do, everybody'swelcome, of course, you know,
it's an open door policy. Thebug light, the failure, the
socially unacceptable are accepted. All thelittle terms we've come up within the past.
(06:23):
Now it's to the point where evenif you have a kink, that's
fine, but we don't get justpeople with kinks. We get people with
extreme kinks. This guy was notjust into shoes. You know, people
have shoe fetishes and stuff. Thisguy liked to get shoes mailed to him
to his po box. That's whyhe called my radio show. But he
told me last week on the podcasta graphic detail that he likes to lay
(06:45):
on his floor in his living roomand smell one boot and shove the other
one in his asshole. I mean, that's a Saturday night that to me
is exciting. But it is coolthat the guy came on and uh did
share that with us boot Man.So if you missed that, if you
(07:09):
didn't get a chance to hear it, check it out on Tuesday's podcast.
Okay, the one right before thisone, because this is the Thursday podcast.
This is a fair Who are you? You're on the air. What's
your name? My name's Hannah,Hannah from where? Um? How old
(07:32):
are you? Hannah? Thirty two? Why are you laughing about that?
Because it's oh I hate it.What do you do for work? I'm
a supper all right. I alreadyknow that you're a fucking liar, just
trying to keep your fans involved.Okay, so now you're being angry.
(07:54):
What do you do for work forreal? I sell software? How boring
is that? Well? Yeah,but that's that's that's far from stripper.
No, I know. Do youhave a Do you have a Facebook?
I do, but it's private.No, it's not. You gonna text
(08:16):
me a picture so I could checkyou out? And shit, oh that's
you. That's true. Do youhave a guy? Yeah? I'm married
you are? Yeah? I justlove your show? Now does your does
your guy listen of course every morning? Yeah? Of course. Is it
sexy for you when a guy willjust hover over you and jerk off on
your titties? Go ahead, No, that's really creepy. What is hot
(08:41):
to you? Go ahead? Theopposite of that? I guess what is
the opposite of that? Paying yourbills? Right? Oh, that's funny.
No, I I grab my son. Yeah right, go ahead,
go ahead, hand and say,go ahead and say, I think it's
(09:01):
hot when a when a man buysme a new car, when a man
doesn't touch me, he does.Man, you got jilted by some chick
one day who you paid for ariving for because it's called marriage. No,
No, what is sexy to youdon't matter? What is sexy to
(09:24):
you? Go ahead, Hannah,you don't have the answer because it has
to do with money. Actually,no, I do. I do.
You don't want to hear it?Yeah, someone who's funny, who isn't
trying to get in your pants.That's bullshit. So you want you want
a fucking gay dude? It tellsjokes for a husband? What the fuck?
(09:46):
What is that when he's not likeactively trying to get in your pants
in like, it's very obvious.It's just like, dude, bro,
go away. Oh so you're upsetwhen a guy lust after you. I
would think that would be something thata woman wants. I don't. I
don't get upset at all. Ijust said, like, no, that's
not a track of Oh. Sowhat's attractive to you is a guy who
(10:09):
could tell jokes, who has nodick. You're making my words into something
else, something else being the truth. So you're saying you want a guy
that will do all the who willpay for everything in the house or half.
Oh no, no, it's fine. You want a guy pay myself.
(10:30):
Okay, So you want a guy, Okay, okay, night.
So what do you want from aguy? Then you want a guy that
could tell jokes, wants nothing todo with touching you sexually, and what
else? For God's sake. Look, how do you turn words around?
That's funny? You just said it, did you not say what turns you
(10:50):
on? A guy who is funnyand who doesn't like actively try and getting
your pants like a creep? Soso you want so you want? So?
You want Larry the cable guy that'sgay, PSA, everyone listening,
(11:13):
that's a male and trading girl.Don't try and get your pants like very
obviously, yeah, and that thatthat and then what will happen? I
want a guy that's funny who doesn'ttry to get my pants and then I'll
cheat on him with a guy who'ssexy that I always wants to have sex
with me and makes me feel sexy. Why do you hate women, my
(11:35):
coll I don't. I don't hatewomen. I'm just trying to figure out
what it is that you want.I'm trying to figure out. No,
I'm trying to figure out what youwant because you don't know what you want.
Do you have kids? You know? And I already said what I
want and you warped it into somebullshit? How did I warp it into
some bullshit? You said you wanta guy that's funny, Well, you
(11:56):
want a guy to fuck you,but not want to fu Yeah I didn't
say that. No, you saidyou want a guy. That's that's funny,
that doesn't try to get in mypants at the moment, right like
if a girl's going out to abar. Oh please, oh please?
What do you mean, Oh pleasesend me a picture? Goddamn it,
(12:18):
fine, do it right fucking now. I know you're not gonna do you
actually want me to This is bullshit? All right, I will. There's
your advice, fuck advice, Textit to me right now. Goddamn it.
Don't be lippy. Just do whatI said. Okay, master,
(12:41):
Yeah, hey listen, I madeyou laugh, so you should be turned
on. It's a bullshit. Heymake me laugh. Do a fucking comedy
show. I need a tight fortyfive from you, and then don't try
to fuck me off, all right? As promised, or Buddy from sales
requested an opportunity to uh have alittle sit down discussion and an in depth
(13:07):
interview with one of my exes.Now. Shonda is an ex girlfriend from
Wichita, Kansas. This is yearsago. We broke up in like two
thousand and one. All right.I started dating around out nineteen ninety nine
or something like that anyway, Soshe moved out from Wichita to Sacramento.
It didn't last long anyways, allthis stuff. So she's agreed to talk
with Blake from sales. But Blake, I told him to call around this
(13:28):
time. She's not on the phoneyet. Our little tempresses you get a
call tonight. Hold on, she'scalling right now. Hi, Hi,
hold on, Blake. Let mealight, Let me get it all out
here first. You're very popular.Everybody wants to hear from you. Geez,
do you mind if I sit backand let Blake interview you? Okay,
(13:50):
I mean I'll answer everything. Goahead, Blake, it's all yours.
Yeah. Did you know? Didyou know that that kids, Chris
was in love with you? Well, you should have told me sooner.
I wouldn't have left. No.He told me later that he was really
hurt by that, and uh,because he really thought you were the one
(14:11):
because he said you got great cans. Is that true? Oh? I
guess. Yeah. How did youfeel about living in a shack with Cobra
with Chris? It was a shack, it was it was we had twin
bed. We had a twin bedfor a long time, yes, And
(14:33):
we finally got it with strawberry shorttat that's right, my strawberry shortcake sheets.
And I had two two sheets.I had strawberry shortcake sheets and I
think it was mash and I thinkthe only time ever washed the strawberry shortcake
sheets was when Shanda came into mylife. So I would just rotate back
(14:54):
and forth, um in our livingroom into the kitchen. There was like
some little hallway, so we werewe were so creative that we put beads,
you know those like those beads tohang down so when you walk into
the kitchen you had to walk throughthe beads. We made that from home.
Yeah, it was a good itwas a good home. It was
(15:16):
that the first time you lived awayfrom your parents. Yes, it was
Actually did your parents like Kid Chris? Yeah he did. He didn't come
around a lot, and my momlikes to listen to him on the radio.
How was it watching watching Kid Chrisget fired? Oh, it didn't
bother me. I was just hedidn't care. It was I was probably
(15:37):
worried that he didn't care. Sowhen he jumped right back in it,
so it was good. But that'sfunny song that because when he got fired
from Philadelphia. He didn't care either. It is kid Chris good in bed.
Yes he was. I had.He says that he's he's an inadequate
lover because he didn't have the rightequipment. It doesn't matter. That doesn't
(16:00):
matter. Now hold on a minute. First of all, Blake, I
never said that. But you didthat bump with him. He was able
to achieve that, that you climaxwith him. Yeah, oh yeah.
When we lived in Sacramento. Whenwe lived in Sacramento, we had note
(16:22):
bust on our door because they thewalls versus den and people could hear hang
on, keep talking. I'm strokingit good, me too. The other
thing is, did you ever engagein anal sex before Kid Chris? No?
Really, he was the first.Well I didn't know that. Yeah.
What kind of lub are you guysusing? Um? I think it's
(16:45):
called wet Oh that's the good stuff. Yeah, that is the good stuff.
I'm actually using a brand called fuckwater right now. Hey, I'm
really I'm really proud that you wereable to give up the key stir to
Cobra. That's that's the power movement. What are you able to achieve a
climax from anal anal effects I didone time? Oh good for you?
(17:10):
When now were you playing with yourselfwhile? Yeah? Who is that with
me? Yeah? You're the onlyfirst one I've done that with. Okay,
all right now, when when youclimax do you squirt? No?
Really? Next question time? Iknow, I know, believe me,
He'll go long for this. It'sworth it. Do you so have you
(17:33):
ever been with a black guy?I'm not going to answer that right now.
Yes, keep in mind. CanI ask you one more question?
This is an important question for theaudience. How Chris mentioned that like you
were like early in the innovation ofshaving down there, and he said that
you didn't have you didn't have anyass fighters whatsoever. Didd you shade back
(17:56):
there? Do you just naturally haveno hair back there? Because naturally have
no hair back there? No,blake, she didn't have hair back there,
but I remember it being bald,and she had like a little a
little freckle on the side of thevagina or no, the vagina, it's
(18:17):
right on the side. Oh god, God, I would just love to
give that thing a little rabbit kisses. Well, I mean, you fly
there, they have a brand newairport, there fly in. I'll just
wing on into wit took for that, For that little freckle, I saw
that. I think that's all wegot. You've been You've been amazing.
(18:41):
First of all, your phone's fuckedup. This is why I broke up
with you. You don't know howto do it. Forget it now,
What were you gonna say? No? When you were at the station,
working in the rabbit station and youcalled me to bring you a pair of
swords because you had to go tothe bathroom and nobody was there to relieve
(19:02):
you to let you go. Youhey, listen, oh yes, oh
my god, hey what what?What? What did you think of his
tonails when you when you saw histonails? We're all fungus. It was
pretty bad, But I mean itwas real. You hear what she said.
(19:25):
She said, I wasn't fucking yourfeet. What a trooper. I
know that's true. If I wantedto, I probably could have had Shanda
and one of her sisters. Ohshut up, yes, I could have
either one of them. I'm hangingout now, Shanda. Um as always.
You know, it was a pleasureand I love you. I love
(19:45):
you. Well, we'll talk again. Look, I'm sure we will keep.
Yeah, keep keep those titties,bouncy girl, Blake. The new
the new airport in which I wentthere. You know, Shanda, you
know Gavin died. Yes, Iwent to Wichita for Avin Larry from high
school's funeral. And the new thenew airport looks beautiful. So so Blake,
(20:07):
Blake, use some use some airlinepoints and get the Wichita. Oh
shut up, whatever I'm going.No, Blake's got a big one.
I've seen it. You guys,have a good night. Hi, thanks
for listening to Off Air
KiddChris - OFF AIR News
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