Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
You are listening to kid Chris offair. Oh yeah, what's up?
Everybody? Welcome? It is awhat is today? Tuesday? The twenty
second? Twenty second? Oh man, A lot of stuff to get through
today. I'm I'm gonna be honest. I am fried. We got this
(00:24):
here in Cincinnati, where I liveand where I work the radio station I
work on during the day during themorning show, we have this thing coming
up called the w EBN Fireworks.The radio station's birthday is on the Labor
Day weekend and we do a bigfireworks show. And I know the outside,
you're like, what the fucker thismeans anything to me? It didn't
(00:47):
to me either, and I didn'tunderstand it until I moved here and saw
it. It's five hundred thousand peoplecoming to the banks of the river celebrating
this birthday of this radio station,and it's gigantic. The whole city shuts
down and all that stuff. Ican't stress it enough how real it is.
It is our super Bowl, whichis bigger as far as people that
(01:08):
are here. And the soundtrack forthe fireworks it's all synced up to this
music and it plays on the radio, so everybody in the city tunes into
the radio and he listened to it'sthirty minutes and oh, it's just massive
anyhow, So the lead up isincredible, Like, after I'm done with
this podcast, I gotta go andjust be out somewhere signing up people to
(01:30):
sit front row at this fireworks thingand all that stuff. You know,
we have sponsors galore. You know, it's business anyhow, that's what's going
on. So I haven't had timeto really get any kind of guests for
this off air podcast. So we'lljust go to phones and all that stuff
and talk to whoever. And youcan leave voicemails for me if you can't
(01:51):
call while I'm recording this, okay, because on my social media I will
tweet out that I'm taking phone calls. Anyways. The phone number always is
five one three eight one three sevennine seven nine. It's funny. I
had to wait home. I wasthinking about stuff I'm talking about. I'm
like, whatever I happened to OliveLoaf. I know that's odd. I
mean, even bring this up onthe radio station Olive Loaf, Olive lof
(02:15):
Oh yeah, my rejection letters.Every year on the anniversary of these like
rejection letters that I have. I'veonly had two in my career. When
I was trying to find a job, I would send my demos of m
me doing radio shows as a discjockey to these program directors and they normally
will just throw them away or neverright back. But I got two rejection
(02:36):
letters. And it's funny because Ishould under rejection to the people who sent
me rejection letters. Yet at leastthey roll back now I think about it.
Anyhow, back when I was firstdoing the radio they could try to
find a job, I would goand buy like candy and like kids lunch
boxes, and I would put thedemo in the air and stuff them with
candy and stuff and send them outjust to stick out. So these program
directors they get free candy into mailand they open it up and get like,
(03:00):
you know, a kid's a lunchboxand my demos in there and stuff
that I was trying to stick out. And most of the time I'm sure
these fox would just throw the cassetteaway and just eat the candy. And
here I am a broke disc jockeytrying to get work. Now. My
first job out of the house,you know in Syracuse, was you know,
Wichtall, Kansas great radio station.And that wasn't even because of my
(03:20):
demos. I sent out countless demosand nothing. But how I got that
job was through a guy named JeffGillis, who's a record rep guy,
but he was one of my programdirectors in Syracuse and he's the first guy
to ever put me on the aira K Rock in Syracuse. And he's
a dude that told them about meat teen ninety five, no tape,
nothing, So all those years it'sall about who you know. All those
(03:44):
years of sending out lunch boxes filledwith candy and stuff did absolutely nothing for
me. It took word of mouthfrom a guy who had already hired me
at one point to spread the loveto another radio station. Now I think
about it a demo, I don'tthink yeah, I don't think a demo
has ever got me a job.Because when I went from Wichita to Sacramento,
the general manager emailed I was onTop forty at the time. He
(04:09):
emailed all these like Top forty stationssaying I'm looking for a new morning show.
It was just a generic email,and I was a dick. I
just wrote back, you can't affordme. And his name was Jerry.
He told me me emailing that backput the radar up. And then they
called me and they said, hey, you know you said this to us
blah blah blah. I would liketo check out your ship. And I
said, I don't have a demo, but you could find my stuff on
(04:31):
Napster. I have listeners that listenedto me, and they put my bits
on Napster, which was true.Napster was huge at the time two thousand
and they found my ship and hiredme. I remember the job was offered
to me at Johnny Rockets at ardenFair mall right next door to the radio
station in Sacramento, California. Iguess it's demo, but it wasn't even
really demos. It's just my bitsthat were recorded off the radio in Wichita
(04:56):
that were put on Napster. Peoplewere sharing. I don't think a demo
has ever got me a a job, at least in the door. Somebody
would always say like, oh,okay, I heard about you through so
so could I get a tape?You know? Anyways? That's that this
is a fair Oh boy Country Jeffthe drunk Drifter A right man, I
gotta I gotta ask you a hugefavor and get out at me. I'm
(05:23):
not giving you anything. Are yousure there anyway you can help me out
with legit door, I'm not goingfrom the gas as it brightens, from
the corner store and play it andmake some money instead of flying a sign.
What are you asking about? Doyou think there's any way you can
help me out with a guitar?No, I gotta fly a sign?
(05:46):
Nope, and drawing the corner gasticno gun? Watching you helped me out
man Country Jeff, you're on withConstantine? I got it? Are boils
speak of Pike to trupis. Idon't care to make yourself, but we
(06:09):
never can't concertained. I'm just sayingfucking all. I'm turning it man,
I don't do fun mate money.You're k any such on the phone ball
don't funk yourself. Nobody punch youyou. I don't watch you, man.
(06:32):
I don't like you either. Idon't want you. I don't like
because you don't support you out youfucking yourself and took a look at you
buck itself. Dude, I wouldlove to punch across your fucking face.
You know you shouldn't do nothing likethat. I'm watching four made weather bring
(06:53):
your shit on? Can you helpit? Guy out? Duty and don't
play that sorry, he sighed,And you can't shige out you can't.
I can't last and prevented forwards presentedfrom the Little Laquor Store. I've sunk
(07:18):
better than you. I don't careif figure you can catch you up?
You fuck walk in motherfucker you cautarthur on he yeah, yeah, you
black, I've caught up what youwanted here it book you don't You don't
(07:43):
kind of caught that bookcase? Youcan't? You pussy you where yours?
Yeah? You go up, goup, go uck on right, hut
yourself on the pen, back yourpose. I don't never cooking your today.
(08:11):
It wasn't I what dude, Ican't to stinger speak with English?
Don't like you fucking too? Can'tyou help guy out? Oh last me
(08:39):
because I'm making money else freaking wholisten to you? Said? User out?
Make alling you with a clock comesky and sleeping on you? Yeah?
(09:05):
Fuck you too? Did you hearyou? I don't like any other
ship because you don't like you helpthe guy? Why us you bullshit?
Why I can't hear you? Suckingsutter, what conishing dumb jump baby,
(09:30):
I'm playing fucking the head. Youdon't make no fucking sense to not fucking
sense who I'm going your hands,unch your money to the boy. Somebody's
(09:52):
gonna punch in the face after parturningin the night, nobody questions your great?
Don't you the fuck? Dix andshoes? Whatever, bitch, slicks
and stones to pick ups. Don'tturn god damn lie bird into late What
(10:18):
did you say? I pay?Awesome? You watching turn bitch? Don't
turn the line by woking raiser.At least I have a chop and I
still get packed by a side.Pussy pussy pussy. Oh he hung up?
(10:39):
I want to chat Christ, wantto Chris? The country? Just
son together? Ready? Can youhelp me? Gull? Can you help
(11:01):
your out out? All right?Kddy, that was awesome. We'll talk
to you later. All right.You can always leave me a voicemail two
at five one three eight one threeseven nine seven nine. All right?
What's up? Man? You're on? Sorry? What are you going to
(11:22):
do? More? Wolf pack calls? I like when you call into the
tradio. Yeah, yeah, thoseare pretty good. Well I do that
a lot and have been doing thata lot for many years, and the
problem is is, uh, youknow, they catch on, so we
gotta curb it for a while.What about John? Yeah, John,
I have to curb for a whiletoo because I call them too much.
(11:45):
All right, they're pretty funny.I love it. Yeah, Well,
I play them all the time onthe radio show. So if you want
to hear other ones, you couldjust call in and request them, because
then then I get an idea ofwhich ones, uh you want to hear?
You know. Good morning, You'reon the air with Tradeo. Go
ahead. Please have a set offour tires. They're really nice tires.
(12:05):
They're hell key, they're really nicetires. They're like new, they're nice
tires. My number is five tichesfive zero one and six zero five tich
nine zero six nine five four.And give me that number one more time,
please, five tiches five zero oneand six zero five tich nine zero
(12:28):
six nine five four. Give meyour number one more time if you would.
All right, thanks for calling.Good morning, You're on the air
with Tradio. Go ahead please,Yeah, it was interesting. They've calling
in for tires because I need arim job. If you'd like to join
an our program, Good morning.You're on the air with TRADEO. Go
(12:50):
ahead. Hi, how are youpretty good? How about your self?
Color? Going? With your itemsthat you'd like to buy Seller Trade Today?
Yes, I have a Codo brandwith for sale. It is brand
new except it has flatter stains.Two eight three five eight one one.
Good morning. You're on the airwith TRADEO. Go ahead, please,
(13:11):
Hey, good morning, good morning. Go ahead with your items if you
would collar all right. I haveseveral wallets for sale, some of them
are meat wallets. Join in ourprogram if you'd like to do some family
friendly buying, selling or trading today. Good morning, out, have a
full size matchress in good shape.I'm mask the fifty for that. No.
(13:33):
Number three nine eighty eight four.Good morning. You're on the air
with TRADEO. Do you have anyitems you'd like to buy Seller Trade Today?
I do, Thank you. Ihave a soft soft top with hardware.
Give us a call or text.There was a dude that was brought
(13:58):
up by Constantine a few shows agowhere he talked with Cheeseburger, an old
friend of the radio show back inPhiladelphia. Now he hasn't been on any
shows since then, so a lotof you won't even know who this is,
but he joins us now right,Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Yes, how
(14:24):
are you doing bitch? Bitch?Cheeseburger is a dude? That are you
still in Jersey? Yes? Doyou still work at that pizza joint?
No? What do you do forwork? What do you do for work?
For you? Cheeseburger used to domy h Well, it's the morning
(14:54):
show in Philadelphia. I used tocome in and say dirty shit. And
this dude is a pervert too,like you used to look at girls windows
and shiite. How old are younow, Cheezeburger. I just turned forty
nine. And you don't know whatyou do for a job. You're just
hanging home odd jobs, odd jobsI see. I work for like a
(15:18):
long service too. Oh you dolawn stuff like during the nice weather.
Have you been getting laid? Yes, honey. Now it's time to choose
how you want to get off.Hi, baby, Hi, honey,
(15:39):
how are you? I'm good?How are you? I'm doing great now
that I'm talking to you, baby, Well, I need to know.
Do you want a transsexual the beautifulwoman with a car. Yeah that's me,
babe. I got nine a hipinterest for you. Okay, what's
your name, baby Christma? Okay, yeah, I have nine hand into
(16:04):
some good cop for you. Baby. I love blue, I love you
kill yeah you till really? Oh? Oh you black, my black girl?
Why do you like black girls?Yeah? Oh you want me to
(16:26):
put my my black cock in yourmouth? That's big? He said.
You wanted a big black cock tityou? Yeah? Yeah, let me
to spread you eagle or fuck theshit out to with this big black cock.
That's what you like. Huh,yes, Well so I'm gonna give
you so you know what I wantyou to do. I want you to
(16:49):
lay out and op your legs rightnow. Open them fucking legs. Oh
yeah it open them, I'm openthem. Spread the the fucking white cheeks.
A small white dick, got littlecock yours? What plus you do
it? A little dick, mydick spirit in yours? My babes,
(17:11):
this black cock storm and shove thisblack cock all way up your ass.
No loo, no loob, Inurse. She like, Okay, where
do you live? Where I live? I live in New Jersey? Baby,
me too, and we're where doyou live? There? In New
Jersey? Where by Atlantic City?Really? I live in Camden and let's
(17:36):
meet up. Baby. I don'tmeet up people off the light, sweetie,
I can't do that, all right, She later a bit. Oh
that's old school stuff right there.Now, cheeseburger on the phone, it
looks like Constantine's back. He wantsto say, what's up covering the card
(17:59):
on cad curb preach ya. Ohyou bet, Cody, you bet,
you bet? To his house?Yeah, I was out of his side
and prop, oh I see,so went he went to. Okay,
now, cheeseburger. You still liveat home, right, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.
(18:21):
When was the last time you werein like the neighbors bushes? And
he jerked off im a time becausethe cops came over because I was with
our rops that time. Oh,the cops came over when you were there.
Yeah, he told you he wasonly in the bushes peeing and the
cops came. Yeah, he toldyeah, he told me maybe a rob.
(18:42):
He was in the bushes peeing.He wasn't people coming come. He
was jerked He was jerking off inthe bushes. Oh he was jerking off.
Oh yeah, yeah, we don't. We don't recommend you jerk off
in the bushes. The cops comeover because you're not That guy had a
camera. I think, cheeseburger.You don't share your dick in public anymore,
(19:03):
dear, Yes you do. Igot fired, like thirty years you
got fired. Why did you Didyou pull your dick out at work?
Yes, you pulled your dick outat the pizza place and you got fired.
Yeah, that shit happens. Man. Maybe I'll connect you guys together.
(19:25):
I'll shoot you guys each other's phonenumbers, and you guys can be
best friends again. Okay, dude, I don't mind Chris mine good.
I love him. Start him inserbs from my trees. Yeah, well,
you know, Connie lives with aguy that's a pervert and likes to
walk around in his underwear and stuffat the house. And let's Connie read
his Playboy magazines. Yeah you likePlayboy magazines? Yeah? Yeah, you
(19:52):
know you like putting you right andthe dais in the magazines and and Diana
sucking U group president though. Yeah, yeah, cheeseburger, So you'll you'll
go over Connie's to lay your dickin the Playboy magazine. Come on,
do it for to do it forJesus, all right, I gotta go.
(20:17):
I'll talk to you guys. Allright. Bye, guys, dear,
okay, all right, bye,Connie, Bye, cheeseburger, Chris,
Bye? How much fifty? Sir? How much is it if my
friend comes along? I'm sorry,I Joe don't do couples me me ah,
(20:37):
miss pal No, No, ifyou want, I will, I'll
w two hundred. How about that? Yes sounds for me? Okay,
so it'd be two hundred for both? Are you cut? Yes? I
am hot? All right? Onefor by special sauce on your face?
Booner? Hello? How much toget gay? I don't know how much
(21:00):
you've got. I love guys.Oh, I'm sure you do. Yeah?
How big is it? Louis yousee on hot? I love you?
Hello? Hey? Is it?Do this? So? Paul?
Uh no, so this is notbut I can leave a p would like
(21:22):
to leave a pleagic message. Yeah, my boyfriend saw your How much?
Harold? This is Brandon? Thisis not? Both are how much to
get gay? Yeah? Man,we need to get gay? Okay,
you sound hot? Thank you?Good time having a good time? Yeah,
(21:49):
it sounds like you guys are havingan interesting time.