EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Please officially welcome our friend, mister Burke Riser.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
It is so great to be here. It is so
great to be here.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
By the way, can I tell you just did something
made me sick?

Speaker 3 (00:09):
So you put in one of your halls mental elyptus things,
but then you drank coffee with it.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Oh, I love it.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
Oh, but it's coffee.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I do these with almost anything. I ran the marathon
with these.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
In which oh back when the back in the day.

Speaker 5 (00:23):
Marathon has meant the lytus. How you're doing there, dude?

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Maybe I don't want us to get COVID.

Speaker 5 (00:32):
I've had COVID eleven times that little I know.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I'm not going a honeypot.

Speaker 5 (00:40):
The last time I got it, I gave it to
everyone on our crew. I'm giving it to more people
than anyone.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
When is when is the last time you had When
is the last time you had COVID?

Speaker 5 (00:50):
I think, apparently I have this. I get this cough
like you know once a year. It starts with allergies, right,
But then everyone's like, we're getting ready to shoot my
TV show and everyone's like, maybe she get tested for COVID,
And I was like, I'm not shutting down.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Production because of COVID.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
Absolutely, And one of the co stars comes in with
a mask on and I go, Johnny cast us over here,
and I was like, and you know nowadays, if you
wear a mask somewhere, everyone's like, okay, politics, and so
everyone's like, look at this lid Tar and he's like,
my son's on a breathing tube or something. And I

(01:27):
gave him COVID. I did.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
I gave him COVID. What was his name? You remember that, Kyle?

Speaker 5 (01:33):
Yeah, I gave him COVID and he was like the
second day and then he had COVID for the whole production, right,
and he was shaking and he was fevers.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
And still hasn't seen his kid, and yeah, he had
to live in a hotel.

Speaker 5 (01:46):
Yeah, he was like, and I remember we were doing
the scene. I just couldn't stop coughing and he was
like this and I was like, don't worry, it's not COVID.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
The next day you have tested positive.

Speaker 5 (01:56):
And I was like, is that like a right AID
test or a CBS test.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Go to a doctor. I don't believe those tests.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
All right, So the tour, the tour is start. Man,
you really get after a nice coffee, don't you.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's the only enjoy I have these days.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Okay, where are we gonna start with Monjorno? We're gonna
start there because Diane's right. I thought it was a bit.

Speaker 5 (02:17):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
How many Menthols are you putting in your thing?

Speaker 5 (02:21):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:21):
The no, No, I thought that was a bit.

Speaker 6 (02:23):
I didn't think that you were doing he had to
promote appearances in Florida because you said.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
Yeah, I spent thousand dollars on a case of Majorno
to do a promotion.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
That's slick marketing.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Wait, so you paid for the manjorna.

Speaker 5 (02:36):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta.

Speaker 6 (02:37):
I'll think No, say it right, it's munjaro. Okay, I
said it, how Bert said it?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Hey, I'm on it.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
Okay, So I'm telling a black person not to say
the N word, the M word.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I thought they gave it to you.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, you gotta. I think you have to pay. I
had to pay for it.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
No. But like when you said it's legit, I thought, oh,
like they're they're They're like, like, let's prescribe. But I
guess you're dealing. I guess it's deal with liquid death
ran out. However, you say to God.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
I didn't want to wait until the prescription came in
and so I got it and then my longevity doctor
hit me up and I was like, yo, don't take
that dosage. Micro dose it at first. You'll be really
sick if you take that dosage. And then I micro
dosed it and I still got sick, and I was
like this is I mean, the first day I felt
the effects, I was at a steakhouse with Liam and
I ate salad like I was hungry. I didn't eat

(03:29):
anything all day. I ate salad like I was hungry.
I had a martini and then my steak came out
and I was like ugh, and then she was like
what and I was like, I'm just not hungry, and
I felt so weird. I don't know what it's like
to like I'm always hungry, yeah, yeah, always. And so
then I was like I'll just save it. And then
I woke up the next morning and I wasn't hungry,

(03:49):
and I was like what do you want to do?

Speaker 2 (03:51):
And I was like I don't know.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
And then nothing really had like a and then we
were standing in the pool and everyone has like specialty cocktails.
We were in Naples for it was my birthday, right
and I was like she was like, do you want
to get a drink? And I was like, I'm good
and she was like what, I hate you? I know.
And then I was like I'm good and she was
like okay. And then I was like, I could maybe
work out again. I don't know, maybe you get a
diet dr pepper. And then I took a diet doctor

(04:14):
pepper and tasted it off and I was like, I'm
gonna stick with water and I know it was And
then and then we went. She goes, let's go watch sunset.
She opened a bottle of champagne and I had one
glass and I was like, usually you open a bottle
of champagne. I murdered that first class and then pour
a second one so that I'm ahead of you, right,
And I had a sip and I was like, oh,
I'm good. And then I took it in the shower

(04:36):
with me because we're getting ready to go to dinner.
And I was like, I'm murdering the showers. These are
old habits. And I had brought it in the shower
and I was like, oh, what are soupkits in it? Yeah,
so this stuff works. Life's not enjoyable and you don't
decide when you go to the bathroom, it just happens.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Wait, so what what?

Speaker 5 (04:56):
What?

Speaker 1 (04:56):
How long have you been on it?

Speaker 2 (04:57):
So here's what happened. I went to the doctor.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Why do you want it?

Speaker 5 (05:01):
Because I went to the doctor and he was like,
my last time I was there, I was like two
forty and he's like, you're going good, let's keep losing
to weight. And then I showed up and I was two,
like two seventy four to seventy two right, And he
was like, hey, we're going in the wrong direction again.
And he's like and I said, well, oh, but here
I should tell you something. I'm very strong and he
was like what. He's like, how strong are you? What

(05:22):
are you? Yeah? I go, I go, muscleways more than fat.
These are all things that you've heard people say on
the subway on a bus. You don't understand how mush
muscla muscleways more than fat and so so uh.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
And so he's like, how strong are you?

Speaker 5 (05:37):
And I go on bench three hundred and twenty five
pounds and he was like that's strong, but I wouldn't
count for like ninety pounds of muscle. And he's like,
let's tell you what let's do a dex scan, dexas scan. Right,
So we do a DEXA scan and it comes back aggressive.
Did you see the picture?

Speaker 1 (05:53):
No?

Speaker 5 (05:53):
No, I did sow it to you. It's so weird.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
So is it DEXA scan?

Speaker 5 (05:57):
Does it? Does it?

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Does it tell everything that's wrong in your body?

Speaker 5 (06:01):
Got one of those?

Speaker 1 (06:01):
Oh so I got one of those. It's awesome. I
went in. I went in.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
No, so there's I swear to God, I've been waiting
for the call. I've been waiting for the call for Oh.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
No, here here, here we go.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
So there's a there's a there's a guy who is
the TV broadcaster for the capitals, right, and he went
and got one of these scans. Another guy is who
works for the works for the capitals, a guy named
Alan May, and he's got he's he's in business down
in Florida, in Tampa, and they have this company where
they do these scans. So the locker went down there

(06:33):
and got it. Dude, they caught a heart like that.
He came back. Yeah, he came back. I had to
have his whole heart redone. He's fine now, like everything's good.
But it was because of the scan. He had no idea.
He would have had no idea, so he went and
got the scan. So Alan May was up my ass
and was like, you got to get the scan done.
So on a weekend, I flew down there and I
met up with Alan.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
And I got it done.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
I went in thinking, yeah, well here comes lung cancer.

Speaker 5 (06:58):
Exactly, I thought.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Number one thing.

Speaker 5 (07:01):
No, everyone does, right. I was like, it's got to
be lungcas. You're smoking your Canadian catching moose, drinking maple syrup,
and what is it? I couldn't be more healthy? Shut up.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
I couldn't fa my carotid arteries, beautiful, my my, my lungs,
my my.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Heart like I was afraid, like something, either I got
lung cancer or I'm gonna get a heart attack because
all my my my, my veins are all clogged up
my arteries and stuff.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Please get your hands out of your pain.

Speaker 5 (07:29):
Sorry. Sorry, I started getting excited.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
I started getting excited.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
I thought my arteries were gonna be clogged up and everything. Dude, perfect, perfect.

Speaker 6 (07:39):
That's it.

Speaker 5 (07:39):
It's like it's like all those decision warnings on cigarette
labels should be gone.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
So I couldn't agree more.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
But I went in thinking, how am I'm bracing myself
for bad news. And I came out of there going
this is not I feel great. I feel fantastics. You
should get one. No, I got the opposite news from
this Texas scan. Look at this, this is my body.
All that black is fat.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
He said, you can carry it in one place, ninety.

Speaker 5 (08:09):
Pounds in my stomach. And he's like, that's not where
you want to carry it. He's like, anywhere to keep it.
That's the worst place because it's around your organs. It's
around all your organs. And he was like, you got
to get rid of it. And he was like, listen,
I said, I'm not doing my joor. No, it's not
as I go, I'm not. It's a cheat code. And
he goes, no, he goes to cheek go for someone
trying to lose five pounds, here's you have ninety pounds
to lose, right, And he was like, it's not a

(08:31):
cheap code. And he goes, I'll tell you what, I'll
prescribe it. Don't take it. I'll be I'll see even
three months. Do I see the doctor every three months? Hereuse,
I'll see you in three months and weigh and he goes,
and then you'll take it. I promise you then you'll
take it. And I went all right, So I was like,
I was like, you know what, and it's hard because
you everything, like You're like, I'll take it. And then
I was like, I'm going fishing tomorrow. Yeah. And then

(08:54):
I finally took it. And I mean the first day
I took it and not even supposed to kick in
for week, I just stopped eating like I wasn't. I
was like, I don't know, it's so bizarre.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
How do you take it?

Speaker 5 (09:06):
You shoot it in your stomach, do you really? Yeah,
there's a needle and you shoot it in your stomach,
and uh is it hurt?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
No?

Speaker 5 (09:12):
I like needles. I just took my testophone downstairs. I'm
a cocktail. I'm a cocktail of man. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
But like my blood work came back great, right, you know.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
Like so the doctor's like, yo, we're just getting in
front of what we know is going to be a problem.
It's going to be a problem, and like he does
a scan of all my organs and he's like, yo,
I'm supposed to be able to see your liver pretty clear, right,
And he's like, and I just there's so much fat
on you. I can't. I was like, I was like,
what about that muscle? He goes not as much as
you'd think. I was like, really he goes, You'd be shocked,

(09:45):
you'd be stunned. So I'm on it, and you know,
it's like, he's my doctor. So if I go, if
he says to do it, I'll do it. I'll see
what happens, and I'm certain I'll do it, and then
take get off it and then gain four hundred back up.
You have to, buddy.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Mine was on it and he lost a bunch of
weight and he ballooned right back up.

Speaker 5 (10:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, so I'm ready for that.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
No, but then you just take it again.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
To take it for the rest of my life, I
don't care.

Speaker 5 (10:10):
I don't care. Hopefully, I almost hope I get hit
by a car and then I go, thank God, I
thought it was going to be something else because I hope,
I hope I get into a car accident with my
wife driving and the last words out of my mouth
are just.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
So you know I saw that coming and I didn't
say anything.

Speaker 5 (10:30):
I hate that when I go I saw it and
I go, no, you didn't.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
God, do you get the do you get the what
are the there's what are the side effects from montour?

Speaker 3 (10:43):
No?

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, I got them, but what are they?

Speaker 5 (10:46):
Na? Like?

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, you get nauseous, right.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
Either constipated or diarrhea.

Speaker 5 (10:50):
Oh, I got the diarrhea. It's like striking oil. You
don't know when you ever see there will be blood.
That's what my every bathroom experience is like. And and
I'm to be disgusting, but okay, I'm a guy that
doesn't mind like a pretty aggressive fart if I do
it right. The smell is like, is like worthy of

(11:12):
the person that's stall next to you, going, what is
that like? I've had two experiences where that happened. One
time I took a jump in Japan and the guy
it was so bad, the guy that stall next to
me threw up. And we were in Japan, so I
thought he was talking to me. He's like and I
was like, I have a toilet paper, there's a button
but day. And then another time was in Denver and

(11:33):
I had drank a raw egg with beer at like
ten in the morning. Okay, it's like it was like
a thing and I drank it and that night I
went to the bathroom and the guy goes, bro, bro,
what is that and I was like, are you serious.
He's like, I'm gonna throw up, man, And I was like, oh,
I had a raw egg.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
He goes, I know, yeah, but wait, what is your
longevity doctor?

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Is that what those people's gonna make you live forever?

Speaker 7 (12:00):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (12:00):
Get out of here, buddy, I'm on all of it.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
That's a scam.

Speaker 5 (12:04):
I'm sure it is. Hey. By the way, as you
are pitching me that that MRI machine, I was like,
I'm gonna make one, put it up at the mall
and just tell everyone they're they're good.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
And it's just it's called the feel Good machine.

Speaker 8 (12:17):
And I go, we scan.

Speaker 5 (12:18):
It's not one hundred percent, it's really close scanning you
look good.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
I think you're good for real. Yeah, I just want nothing.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
And then everyone just comes out feeling good and they're like, no,
it's like teeth whitening.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
But for help, yeah, I have a longevity doctor.

Speaker 5 (12:32):
They do?

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Uh is that?

Speaker 1 (12:34):
What is that supposed to do?

Speaker 3 (12:35):
I understand at the end, but it's supposed Is it
the famous guy that you see on TV?

Speaker 5 (12:39):
No, you see him on Rogan's podcast?

Speaker 3 (12:41):
No?

Speaker 1 (12:42):
The different Wait is that the guy that I'm thinking of?

Speaker 5 (12:44):
No, Peter at is who you're thinking of probably Andrew Huberman.
There's like a bunch of them.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Now, yeah, there's there's one that I feel like pops
up on the Daily Mail all that.

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Peter Atia. He is like, he was like, this is
what I do for my clients. If you can dead
hang your body for three minutes, have you ever tried that?
By the way, thirty seconds is aggressive. He's like, three minutes,
then we're good. You need to be able to carry
your body weight over two miles And you're like what,
And so, uh, Peter t is a guy who swam

(13:14):
from like Maui to Malokai. He's just he's one.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Of those I got you.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
But that's not you're a guy.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
No, My guy's more like, yo, let's let's drug you up.
The first time I went to him, he was like,
all right, let's take a look at your levels and
we'll just get him back to normal. And I was
like okay. So then they take your blood work and
then they're like, all right, here's where you're at. So
let's just give you pills to get him lower those things.
And so my testosterone was in the garbage. My doctor

(13:41):
was the first person that told me I should do it.
My cardiologist he was like, he was like, you know,
your test osterhone's crazy low, and he was like, you
could use a little more testosterhone. It would help with everything.
It's preparative, it's good for your liver. So why don't
we get you on testosterone? And then recided Joe, I
got into this place waste well. And then they were like, here,
we can do all that we can do. You know,

(14:02):
stem cells and arena stem cells. We can do everything.
And so I go to them. I see them every
six months, see my cardiologist every three months.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Look at you.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
I have a beer.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
But do you do you want to live for you
don't want to live to your like one hundred and five.

Speaker 5 (14:19):
I want to outlive my enemies, right, I mean I
would like to, Like, I know this is gonna sound
bad when I say this, Okay, I already know that
you're gonna hear this and go, there's something well with Burt.
But if on my deathbed I could press a button
in what in the world I do it?

Speaker 2 (14:40):
I don't want anyone to outlive me. And then I
don't even want your daughters.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
No, I don't.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
I don't when I die, the world dies.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
I can't see it.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
What do I care?

Speaker 5 (14:51):
I would be a really bad Kim Jong Lun or Putin,
or I just would.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I would.

Speaker 5 (14:57):
I totally understand ending the world. I completely get it.
If I can't live, no one lives.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
But is that is that your whole thing, with your
fascination of when you get to I hope I say
this right where you were talking about the woman, there
was a woman on a flight who was like just
going off on a plane and I don't remember what
the scenario. They ended up dragging her off the flight,
but she was she was yelling, she was calling people fat,

(15:22):
she was enbombing some guy.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah no, she never said the endbomb. Not to defend her,
but yet, right.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
But what she was yelling at, what she was just
yelling at talking about And at some point you were like,
that's getting like you're at the edge. And at some
point you're at the edge, and you go, you know what,
I'm letting it all go. I don't care, that's it.
I'm letting it all go on it. There's a moment
at this video. By the way, I'm obsessed with this video.
This woman's an artist in New York each I'm certain

(15:47):
she wants me to stop talking about this.

Speaker 5 (15:49):
Right, she went off on an airplane. She was drunk.
She was overserved at the bar. That's what I call
people at drunk on airlines. They were overserved, right because
they what they do is they don't party the way
I do. Like, I was drink on air so I
can hold it together if I feel like I'm too drunk.
I stopped talking to people, and that she didn't. And
there was an and it was Southwest. I'm not defending her,
it was Southwest, and this overweight woman did a BS move.

(16:12):
Her and her boyfriend sat in the window and in
the center, and I was like, no one's gonna sit
on the aisle because you're so overweight.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
And that's what the girl.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Said, Oh right, okay, okay, And that's that.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Was where the fight started.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
Then the overweight woman touched her first right, and this
woman snapped and she grabbed her hair and she held
her hair.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
And everyone started grabbing her.

Speaker 5 (16:35):
And then the moment of purity, the moment of zen Buddhism,
the moment that we all should strive for in life,
when they were like, yo, you need to let go
of her. We're gonna have to call the cops, and
the girl just looked at everyone goes, guys, we're way
past this. When she let them know, I already, I'm already.
I'm already covered in mud. This is over. I don't

(16:58):
I am joan of arc and I am tied to
the stake. There's no talking my way out of this.
You are killing me. I'm not gonna accept your God.
I will die with my convictions. That's the moment I
want in life. And then, I mean, then it gets
even crazier because they handcoff her and leave her right
and she starts literally crawling on her back down the

(17:19):
aisle and kicking people. It is I mean, it's gotta
be the most freeing. It's like it's like Michael douglasson
Falling Down. You remember that, He's like, I just want
to make a phone call, right, No, exactly exactly. There's
so many times where I go, who do I say
it to the other day? Who do I say it
to the other day? I just got into this fight
the other day. But I was like, if everyone forgets

(17:44):
the pecking order of society and that there are big
animals and little animals, and sometimes you know, it's crazy.
This dance we play where it's like, you know, you
get to talk to me like that, But that's not
how the world really works, right, I just I love
I love it when it's falling down?

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Do you remember, I mean you remember.

Speaker 5 (18:01):
Do you remember, like when the pandemic happened and you
tried to get someone to help you and he's like no,
and you'd be like, hey, you guys are open and
it's just someone going eh no, I locked it. I'm
on this side and I need you to open it. Dude.
There's nothing more powerful than apathy. When I worked at

(18:22):
Barnes and Noble, I'll never forget this look in this
woman's eyes.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
You worked at Barnes and Nobles.

Speaker 5 (18:26):
Oh yeah, you don't know that story?

Speaker 1 (18:27):
No wait do I know that.

Speaker 5 (18:29):
You have to?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Uh yeah, I got fired for working out in the basement.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, ok ok.

Speaker 5 (18:36):
This woman wanted a our architectusual Die is just type
magazine right, And I worked at the information desk right
at the front. She walks in, reads my name tag
and says Bert, do you know Ernie? And I'm like
I don't. By the way, I had a box cutter.
It was before nine to eleven. I had a box
cutter that had a name tag that said Ernie on it.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
That's true.

Speaker 5 (19:00):
I was like, oh, I know, Ernie, stay back. And
so that joke was less funny when they attacked player
as a poscarters. So this is so it's so she goes,
can you take me to find this magazine? And I
go yeah, And now the magazine was up the stairs,
is up the escalator and then to the left right,
and I guess in getting up the escalator and walking

(19:21):
into the magazines, I forgot what I was doing, and
I forgot that I was. She was with me, and
I went to the cafe and got in line to
get a coffee, and she was still next to me,
and she was like standing next to me, and then
she goes, what are we doing? And I went what?
She goes, what are we doing? And I went, oh,
I forgot you were here? And she was like excuse me.

(19:42):
I said, I was going to get a coffee. Do
you want something? And she was like, I want that magazine.
And I remember saying to her, I'm sorry, my head's
not into that right now, and she was like, excuse me.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
I go, I'm not going to be doing that.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
I'm getting a coffee now because I didn't care, because
you couldn't fire me. They weren't. And I was just like,
I'd rather get fired than do what you want me
to do. And she couldn't get me to not get
a coffee and go get her magazine, and she lost
her mind. She don't you understand the rules? And I go, oh,
there's no rules.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
This is Barnes and Noble. This is the wild West
of retail.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Honey.

Speaker 5 (20:20):
I'll do whatever I want. I am disposable. It's the
best feeling in the world is when you don't care.
If you can't. That's why the Internet's undefeated, because they
don't care. And when the second you care, the Internet
lights you up and they're like, oh, look who cares.
So Barbara streisand effect you know what that is, right?
Barbara streisand a major, a very very very small magazine

(20:44):
took a picture of an aerial picture of her house
and said, take a look at Barbara Streisan's house.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Which I'm sure is be you at a fal gorgeous.

Speaker 5 (20:51):
The Cliff's Malibu, and they posted it to their thirty
thousand subscribers. Barbara streisand lost her mind. You have to
take that down now. And what in turn happened is
because she sued them, everyone was interested where does Barbarstreizan live?
And it became and now it's very common. Everyone knows
where her house is because she tried to stop the thing.

(21:15):
It's the most beautiful thing. You can't it's it's Mel
Robin's books. Let them, you can't control them. Let them.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
By the way.

Speaker 5 (21:24):
I know that.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
So she was on Two Bears with you, but but
Tom wasn't there.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
It was just you.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, I don't know why. It wasn't a bird cast,
but it was a Two.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Bears A confusing.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
I like, just call this a bird I don't know
what we're doing here.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
Yeah, yeah, dude, she's awesome, amazing, Like I know of
her book, but I don't know anything about Mel Robbins. Dude.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
She was like honestly and like maybe everybody knows her background.
I didn't know her background. I had no idea what
her background was other than that she's got this let
them theory, and I know what the I guess it's
pretty smart.

Speaker 5 (22:01):
But the stoicism in essence, it's but her what she's
good at is redescribing it first, So it's digestible to
a regular person.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Right.

Speaker 5 (22:12):
Look when the second ago, Marcus Aurelius said, I tap out,
and I'm like, I don't read books from three thousand
years ago. Okay, I read books today today.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
What's the last book you read?

Speaker 5 (22:29):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Oh well, no it was because you said I read
books today.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
Oh I don't. Oh no, no, I'm so sorry. I
don't read it all. Oh I'm so sorry. Let me
start that over. Okay, Marcus, I don't read books at all.
I don't try to. They were written in I really
I remember I read the beginning of fly Boys, right,
and then I couldn't read the rest of it. So
I was like, I know the ending, we win.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
The wait, so where was I?

Speaker 5 (22:57):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (22:58):
But yes, you're right, it's like stoicis. But here's what
I wanted to ask you.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
So when you were talking to mel Robbins RCE, you
were talking to her, you said, I'm gonna set a scene.
You were talking about drinking and having a drink to
find out what kind of person she was. And you said,
I'm gonna set a scene and you tell me what
you're gonna drink. And the scene was you say to
her your best friend's dad just died. You go over

(23:25):
to sit with her? What are you drinking?

Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (23:28):
I was so pissed off at her answer was.

Speaker 5 (23:32):
Her answer was, well, if it's my best friend, I
know that what her father's favorite drink was, and we.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Have that, and I'm gonna pour that and we're gonna
sit and I'm gonna talk about all the great memories
we have with her dad.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Do you know any of your friend's dad's favorite drinks?

Speaker 5 (23:45):
Okay, hold on, The answer is no, My buddy, we
jo his dad turns one hundred next week, and I
do know his dad's favorite drink, but I think I don't.
I don't like it. I don't know Tom's dad's favorite drink.
But Tom doesn't drink, So I'm not gonna pour that, right, Yeah?

Speaker 2 (24:06):
No, No, what I want?

Speaker 4 (24:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, I heard dad and I was like, oh my god,
nobody knows drink.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
But she was so like, well, if it's my best friend, clearly.

Speaker 5 (24:17):
I would know.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
And I was like, you are a much better person
than I am.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
But she was, and she admits this.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
She was a pretty hardcore alcoholic for a period of time,
for a long period time. That's the part I find
sexy about her. Oh, she's hotter now than she was young. Oh,
I've never seen a picture of her young. I saw
her on the on the Two Bears thing with You
and No One. Oh she's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, no, she's a very attractive woman.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
But the I'm like where she was talking about, like
she's like, oh, everybody because like she's such a self
help person, but she's got the mouth of a sailor,
and she's like, if I see the word dick, everybody
flips out and goes crazy. Oh.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
I loved her. I thought it was great.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
But when she was talking about like back in the day,
she would try to get back in the day, she
was lunatic, and she was like, I would just on
guys so they would break up with me, so it'd
be there.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
But Birt's like, oh my god, we're the same person.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
I didn't say that, dude. That was so much easier
than telling them my feelings. I remember the first girl
I ever broke up with. This was a story I
wanted to tell. Sometimes I like a story that's good,
but it's not funny. But this is good and a
little funny. I went to a yoga class. I was
I woke up at like five in the morning and
with anxiety about it. I wasn't living my life right
in life everything about it. I wasn't working, I wasn't

(25:26):
doing anything. I was in a relationship I did not
have interested in. And my buddy Kroy called me randomly
called me and said, hey, what are you doing? I
said him up, I've been up since five, it's seven,
and he goes, there's a yoga class at eight. Do
you want to go with me? And I was like,
I've never gone to yoga. He goes, let's go. So
we go to the YMCA, We go to yoga and
this stud I'm talking a gelding.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Is that what that is? But it sounds right right.

Speaker 5 (25:48):
Tat it up, great head of hair, great yawlne didn't
groom his beard, but it looked perfect.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Comes in.

Speaker 5 (25:57):
I have one of the best yoga classes I've ever
had in my life, so my first one. And then
in that moment where you're in child's pose whatever, and
you're laying and he's doing his little speech. He says,
this is your life. You can change whatever you want
about your life and make it your life. Don't make
your life someone else's life. Make it your life. Think
about what you don't like right now. And immediately I went,
this chick, I don't want to date her. I'm not

(26:18):
going to marry her, and I don't want her in
my life. I would sit in the car with her
and I'd look at other cars and go, I wish
I was in that car. I don't know if anyone
feels like that, but it's like it's a terrifying feeling.
And he said, you can change that today and I
went ugh. And he heard me say that. So at
the end of class he walks up to me. He goes, hey, man,
when I was saying about the thing about your life,
you made a noise. I was like yeah, and he

(26:40):
was like, what is it? I said, what do you mean?
Here's what is the thing you don't like? I went, oh,
it's nothing. Who tells me? He was I'm a friend.
Am I gonna judge you? And I go, it's this girl?
He's what, So I'm in a relationship I don't want
to be in And he goes, what's your name? I
said Rachel and he goes, he's it's your phone and
he grabs my phone and he opens it up and
he's her number. I said yea, and he texts her,

(27:01):
let's have dinner to night. We have to talk. I'm
not happy and he hits and he goes, you're breaking
up with her to night? And I go what. He goes, Hey,
I've already started it. I've already started it. Do you
feel the weight off your should of your shoulders? You're
breaking up with her tonight? And he goes, all you
have to do is finish right, I've already started, and
your life is changing and you get to have the

(27:22):
life you want. That's what I was talking about. And
I went, I'm breaking up with her and Croy was like,
break up with her? And I was like, I'm gonna
break up with her? And then like where are you
taking her dinner? I go, yeah, my hiro, it's my
favorite restaurant. I'm breaking up there. I want on a hike.
It's the day that done and and uh, wish you
were here? Wish you do? You know what's all I'm going.

(27:47):
That's the day that album came out. I bought that album.
I went for a hike and I said, I'm changing
my life. I take her to dinner. Should I pick
her up? She's like, wow, we have a lot to
talk about. And I was like, y yeah, yeah, yeah,
you get down. I sit down at the table and
I'm like, I'm building it all up. I'm now like
a cup prize fighter. And I go, I'm not happy.
I want to end this relationship. She was like okay,

(28:10):
and I went yeah. She goes yeah, I mean I'd
love to hear more. And then the lady comes up
and goes, hi, can I get you? Has something to drink?
And I realize I should have done this At the end,
I'm gonna sit with her for now an hour, I
just broke up with her. I should have done this.
Middle dinner appetizers would have been good appetizers. Place our orders,
then break up, food comes, we're out. Oh my god,

(28:33):
it's the longest dinner. I could not end it, and
then I felt bad, so I kept letting it go on.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
But man, I love a good story like that.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
No, that's great, that's awesome, that's awesome. All right, let
me do this. Give me a quick break, dude.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
I was hiking Runyon Canyon. They had just come out,
the sun's out, and I'm just like this, there's a
new bird coming. There's a girl out there. And she's
waiting for me. I'm gonna be skinny, I'm gonna have
all my hair and my teeth will look good. I'm
gonna I'm gonna bait and swicks her. I'm gonna get
her pregnant, and then I'm gonna have a great career.

(29:10):
And Leanne was just sitting and knows her. She was like, man,
I'm wanna hope I bet my cat today. This is like,
this is a different world. This is during MTV cribs.
This is I should do a shot. Do we have
any hard liquor? I wanna do a shot?

Speaker 6 (29:31):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Actually yeah, Thrashers has got this.

Speaker 5 (29:34):
We got thre.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
What are we doing?

Speaker 5 (29:37):
What are we doing? You've only had one job. You
have no idea what's going on. He's had one job
in twenty years. You've had one job. Yes, and they're crazy.
Isn't that bizarre? You're like, you're like a Mormon who
married his high school sweetheart and you've never had your
rum spring up. You should go work for other radio
shows for one spring that you should do a rum

(29:57):
springer with him, where you go to other radio shows
and he's gotta work on a hip hop stations. I
mean like yo, yo, yo, yo yo, We're back. Tarlath
Crador is in here, and you're gonna be like, what
what up? Put some respect on my name. So this
song represents so much to me. Clearly, someone who heard

(30:21):
that story and applies it in their life. I hope
their friends sitting next to them just and grab their
and just just Texas and their boss. I quit. I'm
gonna be a DJ.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
You're living your life. You've got a great light.

Speaker 4 (30:38):
That's true.

Speaker 5 (30:38):
Yeah, there's people right now not living their dream. Sure,
and they should hear this song and then go you
can have what I have. I'm being dead serious. I
just I just took stupid gambles. You just need to
roll the dice responsibly. Break up with that person. Hey,

(31:02):
it's not there, you're not there, so what dialogue?

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Who cares?

Speaker 5 (31:05):
We don't die anyway. You can't have the world here.
You might as well die alone or search for the
perfect person. Right, get the job you want. Stop what
are you doing? You just pulled up? Stop? Stop stop
the car. Don't don't turn the car off yet. Stay
in the car. Text your boss and say my head's
just not that into it today and go home. Go
to a buffalo wild wings. They're always good. Don't let

(31:29):
them control you. This is your life when you're on
your death bed, are you gonna go like? Man, I
hope sit a bank? I don't even know what AT is.
Isn't that s I t I A B C city bank,
A city city? That city? I hope city city bank.

(31:52):
Why woudn't they put the E on there? Sit? You
should text your boss and go, bro, we spelt it wrong.

Speaker 9 (31:59):
Quit.

Speaker 5 (32:01):
That's the thing. No one in your corporate job. And
I know you needed to pay bills because you got
kids in college.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Some people really like that.

Speaker 5 (32:08):
People. I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to I'm
talking to the dude with fire on his feet, who's like,
Who's like, this isn't me? Man?

Speaker 2 (32:17):
This I got wild stuff.

Speaker 5 (32:19):
I want to say I learned the code of a
bathroom and they go one, two, four, and I go,
I want to say two, what's the four? But I
don't want to get fired. Live in the now. One
by the way, yeah, it is a shot a vodka.
And guess whose guests has one?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Also, I'm sorry one more time.

Speaker 5 (32:39):
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
I'm living my life. I'm living my life I am.

Speaker 5 (32:44):
When I die, I hope people say that it ended
the whole world. I'll tell you what I'd like to do,
because I like to have access to the button and
me make the call and just be about to die.
Be like everyone, don't forget my name and then put
my hand off it.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Don't get me. What is this.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
To do it?

Speaker 5 (33:22):
It's the decisions you make in your life.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Like, look, I think a lot of.

Speaker 5 (33:28):
Stuffs put up to luck, right, obviously, I think luck's
a huge thing in life. Okay, I think it's crazy
that the things that happened. But sometimes you just gotta
pull the trigger, like people do. I want to get
in the stand up? What do I do?

Speaker 2 (33:38):
I go do it? Just do it? I did it
and I am rich?

Speaker 5 (33:43):
Like I am rich. Do you go home to wash
Cross and you know why? And it's when I was
broke and I was stupid. I won't try that, dude.
I am I am a I am a I am
a minor. I am a gold digging miner. But you
got to move out to the hills and look like

(34:03):
a lunatic for ten years before you walk back into
the city with a pocketful of goals. Rogan let's just
do Joe Rogan right, undersized right, and let's just say
undersized right. Uh Taekwondo champion of the worlds right meathead Meathhead,
one of the most brilliant podcasters alive. Do you know

(34:24):
who believed in Joe? Joe? Joe believes in Joe. He
had wild confidence in a in a horse that wasn't
supposed to win the race? Right ever? Ever, Dude, this,
I got on this horse. You think you think Seabiscuit
was a loser. Dude, I got on this horse ugly,
no confidence, said really inappropriate stuff, and I was like,

(34:48):
I was like.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah, but didn't you almost you almost quit along the way?

Speaker 5 (34:54):
Didn't you almost quit?

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Stand up at one point?

Speaker 5 (34:56):
No?

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Never mind, all right, give me a quick break, go ahead,
burn nice cheers?

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Can Diane do a nice cheers for you?

Speaker 5 (35:04):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Throwing up real quickly?

Speaker 5 (35:19):
Take hold on it? Could you? Could you like Leannoy's
goes uh? If I get into a wheelchair and if
I'm disciple, could you keep stay married to me, take
care of me, wipe me if I need white honey.

(35:39):
If you had just a bridge in your teeth a slipper,
like if you had I would.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
I would leave you, Like if.

Speaker 5 (35:47):
You had fake teeth, if you had dentures, I would
leave you. Let's break your arm and and let's have
a conversation. I think we're talking pretty aggressive about a
wheel a wheelchair? You, I mean Koma I could deal
with right. Coloma would be fun. Alma would be fun.

Speaker 6 (36:06):
No, give me a good cheer, Okay, sugar in the bowl,
coffee in the cup, aim for the butt, won't knock
her up. Wow, I've been waiting on that one, like burt'spear.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
What the hell?

Speaker 5 (36:26):
That's a fun game. Start me, just say, start me,
and I'll see if I can finish it.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Burt, start me?

Speaker 5 (36:31):
No, No, oh, I'm sorry. Give me a just give
me a first line. Sugar in the bowl, give me
something like that. I'll see if I can finish it.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
Oh my god, I got nothing.

Speaker 5 (36:40):
I got just a monkey in the car. Don't mess
with me. They call me King talk. I love it.
I love this game. I love that it's starting an analogy.
I love a good analogy. Like if someone goes, that's
it's my favorite thing to do. Is I go. It's
like the singing of the Annapolis six or whatever whatever

(37:03):
is that a race.

Speaker 6 (37:04):
It's bigger now, all right, give me I have to
take a break, all right, give me a I hope
you quit your job.

Speaker 5 (37:12):
I hope you're still in your car. By the way,
if you quit your job, you text me. I got
free tickets for you tonight. That's what I do. That's
what I do. I'm in Baltimore. Yes, that's what I do.
If you you I like the idea.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
Can I be the guy in the car? Can I
be the guy in the car? I like the idea
of doing that. I just don't know how to text you.
I don't have your number.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Bert, Okay, Kyle, what's your number?

Speaker 4 (37:38):
Hey?

Speaker 5 (37:38):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Are you happy that I have not brought up the
fact that you're not from Baltimore?

Speaker 3 (37:41):
Then I have to take it, all right, give me
a quick break.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
It's Elliot in the morning.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
Elliott in the morning.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Okay, it's.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
Time. You know. He never replied to emails. He told
me one time, that's the least favorite part of my job,
and she goes, that's like the most important thing you have,
and I don't like doing it.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
Bert Kreischer is with us the permission to Party World
Tour tonight, CFG Bank Arena in Baltimore Sunday the Altree
of Theater in Richmond.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
You didn't cancel her she for me, did you?

Speaker 5 (38:23):
No?

Speaker 1 (38:24):
I didn't come on damn it.

Speaker 5 (38:26):
They're paying me in chocolate and listen now I regret
it on this. What is it with alcohol that if
you have one shot, it just says we should have two, right,
d one more, one more, just just just for the soldiers,
for the.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Troops, for the troops. Veterans Day this week it was
it was Veterans Day? Right, how's your blood pressure? No,
I'm being serious.

Speaker 5 (38:51):
Is it good?

Speaker 2 (38:52):
That's great? I get I go to a doctor too
much to die?

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Well, I'm not as well.

Speaker 5 (38:57):
Yeah, it's a oh actually actually on to it was
a little elevated this time. But he's like, and my
blood was thick, right, And he was like, I think
you're on too much testosterone. He was like, it wouldn't
tell you to give some blood, right, and you know
we'll see it empty out. No.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
The only reason I asked is no.

Speaker 7 (39:18):
I have a slight issue to buy a cuff. To
buy a cuff this week, to test it home every
single day?

Speaker 5 (39:23):
What is your blood preser?

Speaker 4 (39:24):
I was approaching one fifty for this histolic number. That's
why I was.

Speaker 7 (39:30):
I was hesitant when you asked me if I was
living a great life.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
What's bad?

Speaker 5 (39:38):
Really? Are you on anything?

Speaker 4 (39:40):
I have to test for four weeks and then decide.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Sweet, your lifestyle is perfect?

Speaker 5 (39:47):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Well?

Speaker 7 (39:48):
I know you were talking about the job. It is
a stressful environment.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
Once again.

Speaker 5 (39:57):
You want to have your rum springer.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
I'll give you, Kyle, and I'll take you and you'll
see what stress is.

Speaker 5 (40:03):
Do you have any idea what stress you Stress can
add to blood pressure?

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I have crazy stress. Den Hey to stress, stress to stress?

Speaker 1 (40:16):
What's your stress?

Speaker 5 (40:18):
Are you being serious?

Speaker 4 (40:19):
You get on this is his thing. He doesn't believe
anybody is stressed.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
You get on a bus. You get on a bus.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
Let's start. Let's start here, right.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
But I'm not I'm not taking but could we eliminate
one part of it. I'm not saying that you don't
work hard.

Speaker 5 (40:35):
I'm I'm not saying. I'm not explaining that. I'm not
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
I'm not saying that you don't create that that you
don't create something that people like and find funny.

Speaker 5 (40:47):
I'm not that that's that's your job. Yes, Okay, all
right now, I'm gonna this is really in the weeds.
So if you're on the fence of liking me, I
would hang I would hang up. Right now, I'm gonna
tell you more than I should ever tell anyone. Okay,
I'm explaining how stress works. Okay, So right now I'm
on an arena tour. Yeakay. So I've been doing the
I did theater tours like three years ago. Three years ago,

(41:09):
I went to arena tours. And the first time you
do it, when you do a theater, this is the stress.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Just for example, So it used to be clubs, right,
So you start out, you're doing clubs, You're doing you're
doing that.

Speaker 5 (41:21):
I met you, there was zero stress because, yeah, the
DC improv I was getting paid three thousand dollars, fifteen
hundred dollars, seventeen hundred dollars, and they were taking the
manager had all the stress, right, they were taking the
chance on me, and I did well here and then
all of a sudden.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
But the theater becomes like Warner Theater.

Speaker 5 (41:39):
But let's yeah, very clear. So if you do one
show in a theater, you're not making very much money. Okay,
if you do two in a theater, you're making crazy money. Okay,
So what you have to do when you do a theater,
when you do the Warner Theater, and I apologize to
the Warner Theater, which is a great theater, but that
one show, if you do one show, you've got to
pay for the curtain, the stool, the mind. You've got

(42:00):
to rent everything from them. They really have the upside
because they're taking the thing. If you do two shows,
you've already rented all that stuff, and then the lion's
share of the money for that second show goes to you.
So let's just I'm gonna give you crazy numbers. These
aren't real Warner Theater, these are not real numbers. If
you do one show at the Warner Theater, maybe, uh
say you're Christs SEVENO comes into the water.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Who's on the Water Theater.

Speaker 5 (42:21):
I'd love to promote them Dan Soder, Ryan Soder comes
into the Water Theater.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Let you say, Chris, I like Chris, Chris I love
if he does one show.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
Feel comfortable enough to smoke?

Speaker 1 (42:29):
Oh yes, damn smoke weed in here, that's right here. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:33):
If you do one show at the Warner Theater, you
make probably twenty thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Is that is that a real number or fake number?

Speaker 5 (42:39):
I'll tell you right now.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
I did.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
I did the Wilbur my first time I did it.
I made twelve thousand dollars for doing one show with
the Wilber. Okay. I did two shows at the Wilber
and I walked with fifty two thousand dollars. Oh okay.
So I was like, I was like, wait, the second
show I made more money than the first show, And
they're like, yeah, it's because you've already paid all the bills. Right,
So if you can do if you go on a
theater tour, your stresses, I need to sell more than
one show. I'm doing one show. I'm kind of breaking even, right.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
I mean, you're still making twelve grand, but.

Speaker 5 (43:06):
You know, maybe maybe if you stayed in the clubs,
you would have made more with bonuses and adding shows.
So you want to do two in theaters. Once you
start doing two in theaters, the stresses do I go
to a bigger theater?

Speaker 3 (43:17):
Do I go to Arena Constitution?

Speaker 5 (43:21):
I think SIT's thirty five? And then once again you're
with that stress of can I do two in this place?
Because that first one pays the soul. But I need
the money to pay my tour bus, my openers and travel,
and then you do arenas now. And I'm not complaining.
I'm just explaining what stress is. Before you start an

(43:42):
arena tour, they say, Yo, you want to make sure
your fans have a good time, so that you need
to have production. You need to have a great stage,
you need to have a great led package. You need
great lighting. We need a lighting designer to design your lighting.
We need a smoke designer. We need a designer to
come in off the top of an arena tour for
a three month arena tour. You're paying three point five

(44:04):
million dollars out of your own pocket to start to
do an arena tour. You have to then recoup that
three point five million dollars.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Can't you just turn the lights down, put a spotlight
on you, and walk out there.

Speaker 5 (44:14):
I've done that. You'd be shocked how unenjoyable that is.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
I did it.

Speaker 5 (44:21):
I did it one time where the speakers were on
the floor. I'm being done serious. So I was like,
I'm not paying the money. My first tongue of arena
tour was so bad that I was like watching people
go like this is horrible. And so I went to
the team and I was like, Yo, how do I
get this better? And They're like, you need to if
you want to do an arena tour, if you want
to be an arena comic, be an arena comic, do

(44:42):
it right, make it great. Prostitute then so now we're
talking about stress, right. So I'm on an arena tour
and I'll be doing that in perpetuity. I'm trying to
do theaters in twenty twenty six only because I'm getting
ready for a special and I need to do two
in a night to get my get sharp, right. That's
the main reason I'm doing theaters, and it's a lot

(45:04):
less stress, right. But I want you to know I've
already paid for this three semis filled with staging gear.
I have twelve eighteen people on staff that I've paid for.
I've paid for them for three months. They've got jobs.
But that's the stress. And then and then I have
a cruise. We just put a cruise on sale. I
have a project I have not named yet that's coming

(45:26):
out the night before the Daytona five hundred, which I
think you would really love.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
That is we love to be a part of one
hundred percent, Like, is this an invite?

Speaker 5 (45:36):
It's one hundred percent of an invite? Well, I could
be part of it one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Do I have to quit my job?

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Nope?

Speaker 1 (45:41):
Okay, I'm in and you're gonna love it.

Speaker 5 (45:43):
But I have this project with partners that I've have
accrued that have invested money in me to produce this
I have I do. You don't have to invest any money.
They've party done it. I have a TV show that
comes out in the beginning of the year that I
did with.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Netflix January twenty second. I have I have.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
A Castler, Yeah, I have. I have. I'm working. I
can't really say exactly what I'm doing, but I'm working
Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, which have not been
announced yet. But if you figure out I'm working on
Christmas Day and you live in DC, you can probably
figure out what I'm doing. Are you doing the Christmas
street lighting?

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Did you do this last year?

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (46:19):
So so?

Speaker 1 (46:21):
But wait, what did he do last year on Christmas?

Speaker 5 (46:23):
I'm taking another shot on the podcast say it.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
If he's gonna get in trouble, well he already did it.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
You can figure it out anyway.

Speaker 5 (46:29):
Anyway, anyway, I have a staff of fifteen employees, I
have three podcasts, I have ad sales sponsors. I'm trying
to create an underwear line.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Right like all these things you're in the skims thing.

Speaker 5 (46:41):
Oh buddy, I got I decided to go rogue. I'm
making basically a pantyhose for men. I like the thinnest.
They're so comfortable, but they may be too gay, right,
make them here than two weeks. I'm gonna make them.
I'm sending my friends and goes this like turn you
on too much? Like so like the thing is, I

(47:03):
should have never got ambitious. Second I got ambitious?

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Can I can?

Speaker 3 (47:07):
I can I play Devil's accocate advocate for a second,
because somebody who's got like a like like like real
stress is going like, oh god, it must be so
stressful to try to decide whether I want to spend
three point five million dollars.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
Or that's a no hango with that. But it's not
there's no deciding. It's already been decided, so you have
to do it. So like no, I understand that, Like,
but it's like gambling on yourself, and then you gamble
on yourself, like there's a dude.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
There's a dude still sitting.

Speaker 5 (47:30):
In his car deciding whether or not to quit his
job going I I don't care about any of this. Bert.
There's are all the decisions you made, now I understand,
but I made them to try to get to the
next level. I love what I do and I want
to provide cool things. Dave Chappelle said, if we don't
do dope stuff, dope stuff doesn't happen. And I believe that,
and so I want things to be great. I want
someone in Baltimore to pay for their ticket and go

(47:52):
tonight and say that was worth the money. So then
I also have stand up. I also have a great
stand up. So I'm living in this world. I have
three movies in development, in one in production, and so
like all this stuff ends up that like I zero
have zero moments of sleep, let alone like journaling like
it's like crazy.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
But I don't think anybody was trying to figure out
if you're journaling.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
I just started. No, you did on my fifty third birthday.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Your journalist was like, what you right yesterday?

Speaker 2 (48:21):
I didn't write yesterday.

Speaker 5 (48:23):
I'm being honest. I'm being honest. The day turn into
this is a confessional. I understand I have a lot
of like white guys stress.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Hey, can I ask you this?

Speaker 5 (48:35):
No?

Speaker 1 (48:36):
No, no no, this may be from the on journal.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
That's a that that's like for I feel like I've
seen your belly a lot.

Speaker 5 (48:42):
Yes, like the.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Strip down the middle, that's more than usual. I know,
are you growing hair?

Speaker 5 (48:49):
Hare? Can we can? We'll focus on the night in Baltimore,
on the one thing that anyone will see. Anyone's gonna
look at that stripe. I'm like a leopard. I spread
it out. It came in heavy, right, I know? What
is that?

Speaker 2 (49:10):
When a woman into something?

Speaker 5 (49:13):
Yeah? What when?

Speaker 6 (49:15):
When when a woman is pregnant, Like when Liam was pregnant,
she get that big black line down her belly.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
You thought I was in the urban station or you
thought I thought.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
That whatever that is, you got it, But it's hair.

Speaker 5 (49:39):
I got you that. I know. I know.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
There's a lot of things going on with my body
that I'm not in love with. So stress, stress makes
it all just come out like a mohawk.

Speaker 5 (49:49):
Yeah what do you making a picture of stress? Stress
sucks in Baltimore, My stress, and get a ticket already.
I'm gonna go to some seafood restaurant.

Speaker 10 (50:11):
Got read here, Yeah, everyone's got their stresses. Wait what
seafood restaurant are you going to? So he grew because yeah,
Kyle's from Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Go ahead, Kyle, Hey, real quick, real quick, real quick.

Speaker 5 (50:29):
All I want.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I can't stop looking.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Put my shirt back on.

Speaker 5 (50:35):
So Kyle's my assistant, and he if you ask him
where he froms he says Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
We're going to Jimmy Seafood today. Should not have said
that out loud.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
The no, No, that's good.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
You may not make it. There's Kyle's playing claim Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
What happened was he dressed.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
He came out one day and he was wearing cowboy boots,
jeans and a roper's jacket with a cowboy hat. I said,
what's that? Was this where he costplaying a grown man?
He goes, this is what I wore growing up. I went, well,
you grew up in Baltimore and he was like, yeah,
I know, but you know outside Baltimore. And I went
how outside and he goes, no, I mean just outside

(51:15):
the city, but I grew up in Baltimore, but this
is what we wore. And I was like, that doesn't
I don't remember the episode of the Wire where they
put their horses, and he was, look, he's losing his
mind right now. And then, by the way, do not
turn his mic on. I'm going to say everything.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
So the other day, the other day, we're.

Speaker 5 (51:31):
In the office and he is he's I want everyone
who from Baltimore to listen, and DC he's claimed Baltimore.
He's a Ravens fan, die Hard, He's a crazy Ravens fan, right,
And at times he's told my wife, I grew up
on the mean streets of Baltimore. Those words have come
out of his mouth, right. And he's from a place

(51:52):
called New Freedom. So I google New Freedom to see
how far outside of Baltimore it is, because you know,
twenty minutes minutes I can give it. I get that
New Freedom is in Pennsylvania. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, yeah,
look at that. It is a forty three minute drive
thirty eight miles to Baltimore in Pennsylvania. And we lost

(52:17):
our minds because he's never shared that it's in Pennsylvania.
And he was like, technically, it's in Pennsylvania. Go technically, technically, no,
actually it's actually in Pennsylvania. You actually slept in Pennsylvania
every night. And then Leanne got her little matt lock, Wait,
what's your driver's lissense? Is it Maryland or Pennsylvania? And
he goes, technically it's Pennsylvania. Technically it's Pennsylvania. And I

(52:43):
said to him, I said, I can bust your balls
in perpetuity, or you can take this, and I'm still
offering it. You can, and I'll allow you to do
it right now. It'll be the very beginning of this bet.
I said, I will never bring it up ever again.
If until New Year's Eve, every time I bring up, hey, man,
where are you from? He has to say a small
town in Pennsylvania. And then I go, wait, did you

(53:06):
grow up in or near any big cities? And you go,
and he can say I wasn't even close to and
he can't say Baltimore. He's gonna go. He has to
say I wasn't even close to Baltimore really, and and
and the bets here or and now, and he shades
things like what's the best part is that he like,

(53:26):
he I'm not gonna get to look, he doesn't want
me to talk about homeschool.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Dude. We found out he was homeschooled.

Speaker 9 (53:34):
Wait too late.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
We were hold on, this is so good. He was.

Speaker 5 (53:39):
We were on set of TV on my TV show,
and we're all sitting in the most beautiful girl shows
up and she's a little bit of a weirdo and
we're talking to her and she's like, oh, I'm I'm
an outlier, like I don't I don't answer any question right,
And then we're like, where did you grow up? She
goes like, the Philippines, but really Orlando, and I'm like okay,
and I was like, we're in Orlando, you go to

(54:00):
school and she goes, well, kind of this place, but
I was really homeschooled, and she was so pretty. He
let a secret slip and he goes, I was homeschooled,
and everyone what? And then and then he tried to
cover it and he goes, I wouldn't even bring that
to everyone. Everyone already knows everything. We've been keeping it
from you. Bert, don't tell anyone. And I called Pete immediately.
I go, did you know Kyle's homeschool And he goes, no,

(54:22):
So he was homeschooled in Pennsylvania, but slips out that
he grew up in the mean streets of Baltimore. He
wears cowboy outfits and roper gloves, but he grew up
in pennsylvani the city of Brotherly Loved. He should be
an Eagles fan. If you're a Ravens fan, do you
claim him? And then and then the best is on

(54:43):
the bus. He's with comics, so he's like, you understand,
It's like, it's like forty minutes. And then who was
on the bus? Hospital he goes Washington, d C. Is
thirty minutes outside of baal time. Someone called in today.
I googled the name of the city. She goes, I'm
from White Plains, Maryland, and I went to that's crazy
how she said the little city she's from. And by

(55:03):
the way, she's twenty five minutes outside Baltimore. I googled
it when it happened. Buddy, if you don't have a
muse like this, life isn't worth living.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
By the way, for this store, are you want to
bust this story?

Speaker 5 (55:16):
I low my bus. I'm gonna be buried in my bus.
I wish I had started drinking earlier, but I'm so
glad I didn't. I'm gonna be buried in my bus.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
How many people are on like are you? Is everybody
with you?

Speaker 5 (55:28):
This? Two dude's sleeping right now, John Feidelberg and Pete
Lee they're with me tonight. And then Dewey are bus
drivers watching golf? I've saved two bus drivers lives. Blood pressure,
blood pressure. We got to get yours under control. Do
you I have some beta blockers in my bad I do,
and I haven't even taken them, and they're so awesome.
You're gonna love them.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Do you take on this question? Do you take beta
blockers before you go on stage?

Speaker 5 (55:50):
No? The reason I'm not taking them now is because
I don't want your head to be all over the place.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
No.

Speaker 5 (55:55):
I like, I like, I don't have any stress going
on stage. I love going on stage. Oh it's you're
comfort when I hear my music. Yeah, Oh my heart races,
my chill bumps.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Yes. No, when we were talking about that, like, this
is my most comfortable place. Yes yet in here, dude,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Think, oh boy, well you got COVID.

Speaker 5 (56:14):
I think I think what's crazy is and I have
to say this, and I hope you clipped this out
and use this as a promo.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
I have COVID.

Speaker 5 (56:24):
I've got full blown aids I'm riddled with it. Ask
me how I got it from an African prostitute? Have
you ever seen that clip from Les? Google it?

Speaker 2 (56:34):
It's the best.

Speaker 5 (56:36):
But but uh, having done them, I do three podcasts.
And you said about Mel Robbins and that was a
very nice compliment. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
You know who else was really really good. I watched
Margo Price. She was fantastic.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
She was great.

Speaker 5 (56:53):
The two of you together were great. I will tell you,
thank you very much. I when we you know, I'm
not in the weeds. But like with Birdcast, we try
to make sure it's just straight up comedy or with
Two Bears comedy, it's fun, it's light, Something's Burning is
a cooking show. That's its thing. With bird Cast, I
kind of had to reimagine it because a lot of

(57:13):
people were like, why would I watch this if I
could just watch them on bird Cast. So I just
kind of tried to focus on music with bird Cast.
I really love music. And then I decided at the
beginning of the year to demonetize it at the beginning
of this year because I was like, I don't want
to have to put it out every week because I
do have o's at bird Cast, right but it bums
me out that not more people watch. Like I had

(57:34):
a band on that wasn't very popular at the time
that I thought was great and they made me cry
watching them play, and I brought everyone from my office
up to watch them play, and we were all drinking
and the band was Red Clay Strays, right, and then
they got popular. But I wish people cared before, meaning
like Margo Price is brilliant. She is one of the

(57:56):
most talented musicians.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
She's played with everybody and she knows everyone.

Speaker 5 (58:00):
For whatever reason, my podcast isn't in that algorithm where
people discover brilliant artists. Like I had Warren hazeon and
it's like people are like, he's the most brilliant guitarist.
I have Marcus King on Marcus King fell off the wagon.
Marcus King is a prodigy guitar player. Sure he fell
off the wagon. Came to my house and he's like, Buddy,
I'm off the wagon. This is a bad day for me.

(58:21):
I could use a drink and maybe talk about it.
And we talked about sobriety for two hours, getting drunk
as crap. Right, But they don't get views because they're
not click baby now having said that the flowers go
to you, because to do this every day is an
actual talent that I don't think anyone understands how brilliant

(58:41):
that Italian and how how bright that light shines. And
I'm being serious when I say this, because I'm tapped out.
Like I'm tapped out. I could get I could get
rid of all my podcasts and be a happier man.
But the way you do this is so it's like,
do you ever see I love analogies. You ever see
like clouds over the ocean and then all of a

(59:03):
sudden it opens up and one sunshine comes out right,
and it hits the thing and it sparkles on the ocean.
But not everyone sees it. It's not a sunset. It's
just one sunshine, right, And if you see it, you'll
track it. You'll track it all the way to it
gets to the beach. And it's fun for you. And
that's what being a fan of a radio show is is.
It's not it's not for everyone, obviously, but it's yours

(59:25):
and it's your thing, and you never stop shining. And
that is as a guy that's doing this and has
been doing this for now fifteen years.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
I hate it like I can't.

Speaker 5 (59:34):
I'm the podcasting is exhausting, right, it is exhausting every
now and then I get that sunshine, but not every day,
and you do it every day and anytime I come
in here, I love it. But every time I come
in here, I've been coming in for twenty years, right,
It's always my favorite thing I've ever done. But you
thank you.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
But that's not that way for Margot Price.

Speaker 5 (59:53):
When it comes to myself, She's like, well, he really
phoned it in. He doesn't know any of my songs.
He's just don't the first two on the to Margo
Prize everybody You and.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Margot discussed them that I thought was interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Though the you asked her if she could love someone
who didn't like music, and then she said, could you
love someone who didn't like comedy?

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
But you never answered the question.

Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
I love my.

Speaker 11 (01:00:17):
Wife because she if she didn't like comedy, if she
was the girl back when you answered by going, I
dated a girl who was like, yeah, if Sindbad can
do it, anybody can do it.

Speaker 5 (01:00:29):
Yes, let me let me. I'll give you a even
deeper question. I was gonna have a hard time loving
my daughters if they didn't like comedy. Ooh so ooh.
We did fully Loaded the first year and I got it.
I don't know if fully Loaded will ever come back.
I think it was fun. Yeah, and I say that
Candile Beakusse, I think everyone's in movies now, everyone's doing

(01:00:50):
bigger things.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
It was a it was a really special thing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
I mean you look at the lineup.

Speaker 5 (01:00:54):
If you look at the lineup of the first fully
Loaded we did, or maybe the second one, that bill
that the lineup bill is now.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
A five million dollar bill, right, it's Shane.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
Gillis, Stabby, Mark Norman, Dan Soder, Big Jokerson, Bruce Bruce.
I mean it's crazy bill. It's a crazy bill, Nicky Lazer,
Tony Andecliff. Right, the first day we did it, it
was the lineup was Big, Jockerson, Salvacano and Shane Gillis.
Now everyone knows I love Shane, but I liked him
before you liked him. But I need to say that

(01:01:27):
because I was. I really enjoyed him. I enjoyed him
and I and I wanted my daughters to like him.
And he is aggressive a time on stage. And Georgia
went and watched Shane and David Tell, David Tel's my
favorite comic to ever done comedy, So I'm not certain
I can love my daughter. She doesn't love David Tel
because she woke.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
David tells.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
How old was she when she saw David Tel?

Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
Eighteen years old?

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Oh, I bet she hated him.

Speaker 5 (01:01:53):
And she watched. She watched Shane first. Shane went up
before a Tell, and I watched her and her friend
Daisy and they were watching and Shane had a joke
about going to a plantation something and being like a
slave master, and then the black Eye talks to him
and he's like, you can't talk to me like that,
and she went like this. They both went I said,
what's that? She goes, you do not have to say that.

(01:02:16):
I said, why not? She was, You're gonna get in trouble.
I go by who. She goes, well, you can't talk
like that, dad, And I went by who. Everyone just laughed.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Did you laugh?

Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
She goes, yeah, that's why I covered my mouth. I go,
oh no, no, no, no, let yourself laugh. That's what
comedy is. She's like, you can say that. And then
Shane's next jokes like I don't like Navy seals something.
It was like, I mean's wild. It was his act
at the time was wild, right, And she started laughing
as Shane Gillis and I and my heart swelled. I
went David Tell's opening joke was I like a woman

(01:02:50):
who's unshaved. I needed to look like Osama bin Lauden
down there. And she started laughing hysterically, and I was like,
oh my god, I can love my daughter. I thought
I never gonna love you. My favorite moment of all
of it is and I know I've told this. I'm
sorry I have is at the end of she loves
Shane Gillis so much she trusted him. We have a
picture of Shane and our in our family photos on

(01:03:11):
our mantle. That's how much my daughters love Shane Gillis.
No Slight, No Slight. When matt Rive's Special came out,
her and all her girlfriends came to our screening room
and watched it. Halfway through, they switched it over to
Shane's Beautiful Dogs, and she goes, this is who you
gotta see, my daughter. Okay, I love you, my ride.
I'm not a flight, no flight, You're so talented, but
my kids are a Sane Gillis fan we're a sane

(01:03:32):
Gillow's family.

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
Having them at home. Yes, Oh, isn't it the worst?

Speaker 5 (01:03:38):
Can you even?

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Do?

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
You go visit them?

Speaker 5 (01:03:41):
I do?

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
It's not someone playing cotton Eye Joe. No, yeah, I do.

Speaker 5 (01:03:48):
I do.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
It sucks, it's I hate.

Speaker 5 (01:03:52):
Drives me nuts, yea. And they'll never hear this is
that Georgia's friend group. The dads are all party animals,
you know, and I never hear this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
They bite a.

Speaker 5 (01:04:01):
Can and it's sprays, and then they shotgun beers and
George is like yeah, and then her dad is like
a functioning alcoholic and she can't appreciate how beautiful my
I am the party. Every kid at her school wants
to party with me. It's like dad, tone of town.

Speaker 8 (01:04:24):
If you can't get.

Speaker 5 (01:04:36):
COVID, you can't get a d all right? Can we
do word association? Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
I'm gonna say something.

Speaker 5 (01:04:44):
To you, and I want.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
You what's wrong?

Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
Anything? Dance?

Speaker 6 (01:04:54):
Do you have to go?

Speaker 5 (01:04:55):
Man? Knock me? Come from? I got from?

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
This was groundbreaking.

Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
I realized someone was like someone was like like, what
this is better than pizza?

Speaker 6 (01:05:08):
Woa?

Speaker 5 (01:05:10):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
We're association?

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
You're ready?

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Whoa boys?

Speaker 5 (01:05:13):
All right?

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
I'm good I'm good, all right, I'm gonna say something
to you, and I don't want just a one word answer.

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
Walk me through what.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Comes to your mind. Are you ready?

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
You're ready. We're gonna get some pizza.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
Listen, Blake Casper. We're not just getting pizza. We're fighting
over pizza. You better not get one pizza. And I
don't think that I'm not eating the first piece of
pizza first. I'm gonna I'm gonna save on that first
crust because I want to get the second piece ahead
of you. This is a race and it's down to
the I mean, by the way you could do this,

(01:05:51):
I could talk about pizza for pizza is one of
my favorite things in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
You don't get where I saw that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
But when you were like, oh no, no, no, no,
like you start doing math with the people in the room.

Speaker 5 (01:06:00):
Oh can I So? Who told me the other day
that Ryan Sickler, who's from Baltimore, not from New Maryland,
found Pennsylvania, right said like his he told me this
one time he goes his buddy. His dad was a
big fat guy, and his buddy was a big fat guy,
and his mom was warnering pizzas for a birthday party.

(01:06:23):
I wish I can remember who this was. And they
went and his dad goes, why don't you come get
a pizza with me and the pizzas. So they go
and they pick up the pizzas and it's three pizzas,
but there's four, and he goes, what's the fourth pizza?
And he goes, it's a road pie. He goes, we
eat it on the ride back that way. We bring
in the pizzas and everyone we go, no, no, no,
you guys help yourselves.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
We'll get to it later. I wish I could remember
who said that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
I wish people could see the look Burt just gave me, like,
remember that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:51):
Son, That is the most brilliant thing when you find
chea codes like that in life. Shut up. That was
the next for me when I'm gonna do zanax to
me and was like, yo, you take half his handex
and you have had twenty beers. I go, oh, what
are we doing? Why are we waiting time for the beers?
A kick in? Oh? Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Then I know I know that you apparently you're not
here all morning. That's fine, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
The I was told that there is an exit time.

Speaker 5 (01:07:16):
No, No, never speak for me. I grew up in Tampa, Florida.
Do we need to take the bus? He takes the
bus and I uber to the bus. Never speak for me. God, God,
no exit time. That's my favorite thing in the world.

(01:07:38):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
Game three of the World Series. I had no idea
you were there. Oh yeah, dude, that was eighteen innies.

Speaker 5 (01:07:46):
I was. I was behind Justin Bieber and Jacin Jakin Adorney,
Jakeen and Doorney, Jacon and Dorney. Say again, Jacin, Jacob,
Jacob Jacob al Doorney.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
El Dori.

Speaker 5 (01:07:59):
That's him. Beautiful man. He is the most beautiful man
I've ever seen in my entire life. By the way,
Justin Bieber striking young man, much taller than you think,
right much, scrawny scrappler. You don't want to mess with
that kid. But that Jacob Aldherty, Lordie, Jacob Delordy, whatever
his name.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Is is, John Dolorean is beautiful. No one gets hi reference Did.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
You stay for the whole thing?

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
Bird? What did you leave that?

Speaker 5 (01:08:32):
What was it go? Eighteen? When eighteen I left in
the beginning of the seventeenth it was aggressive. You know
what's so funny is at the beginning of the game
real talk. I okay, let's talk real talk.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:08:47):
Right, So my best friend Tony Hernandez produces everything I do,
my TV shows, my specials, everything is.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
I grew up with them in Tampa.

Speaker 5 (01:08:53):
He happens to be one of the biggest producers in comedy, right,
and he does everything. He calls me up and he goes, Yo,
let's get tickets to the game to the World Series.
We always do big tickets, and they're expensive. I think
they're I think they were like ten granded ticket, five
grand a ticket. They're expensive, right, And he goes, you
know what, we'll get four We'll invite Netflix and and

(01:09:15):
you know some you know, we'll make it a business thing.
I was like, all right, great, and he goes, yo,
is it cool if I invite like talent that i'd
like to work with. I go, yeah, one hundred percent.
I'd love to sit next to you know, uh, Sidney Sweeney,
whoever you want to work with.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
Of course. So we get there and it's Adam Ray.

Speaker 5 (01:09:36):
A good I just pay ten thousand dollars to sit
next to Adam Ray, and Adam Ray is so excited.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
I go I bet you are.

Speaker 5 (01:09:44):
You just got a free World Series ticket and you're
Adam Ray and I'm me and we're sitting and he goes,
how great is this? I go, I pay for though
we're talking about great is this? It sucks? But then
I got to sit next to Adam Ray, which was
hysterical because he he was heckling Jason Aunthorty the whole time.
He's like, how dorny beeber beaber beaber you suck?

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
He was the best.

Speaker 5 (01:10:06):
I spin over the border, but he was the best.
And then we brought Netflix. We brought some producers. I
didn't know, but I saw it. So you crashed CNN
at one point, I don't remember that. I was very drunk,
so I did a gangster move right before the seventh inning.

Speaker 3 (01:10:23):
Let's ballpark this right, okay, because okay, go ahead, I
know exactly where you're going, but go ahead, go ahead,
you tell it. No, so at you you end up
on CNN, right, and on CNN you do. You end
up talking to them, and they were very nice. They
brought you on in the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
The But you're you have a you have a tall
boy in your.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
Hand, and it's the sixteenth thing.

Speaker 3 (01:10:43):
It's at that point it was the sixteenth inning. You're right,
because they were They were talking about like CNN went Live.
They were like, it's the World Series, but we're also
sixteen innings in. They stopped serving at the seeventh inning. Right,
where were you? Where were you storing beers? Because at
first I thought you must have been in a suite,
but apparently we I said.

Speaker 5 (01:11:02):
When we got there, and I swear all my children's life,
I said, this is going twenty two innings. Everyone buckled
down for the longest game of their lives, and I
at the seventh inning, I looked at Adam, and I
looked at Tony, and I looked at Andy Wheel, I
looked at everyone that I paid for their ticket, and
I said, well, let's go get beers. And they were like, Andy,

(01:11:23):
we all had to catch flight to New York that night.
And he was like, okay, So he got two beers.
The tall boys, right, Adam got two beers, Tony sober.
Tony got two beers. And then the girl that produces
something I don't know, some TV shows with the Crazy
Little Things or something, she got two beers. She doesn't drink.
So we were lined up. Me and Adam got lit.
We had each had like a tall boy for every inning,

(01:11:45):
and and of eight penn and edibles. I was so
wasted that I don't remember seeing end video at all.
I don't remember it at all. Are you serious at all?
I don't remember it at all. All I know is
at one point they were like, yo, we gotta get
you out of here, like this is you can't last
all night, And I go, I cannot drink them, all right.
If they're gonna keep pitching doors, you like this, all right,
I'll drink them. It was, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:12:07):
It was one one of the craziest games I've ever
I loved it. I loved it.

Speaker 5 (01:12:12):
I love I love epic events like that. I love
when it rains at a football game, right. I love
when it stows at a football game. I love when
there's extra endings. I love a doubleheader. I like the event.
I don't like just you know. That's why I go
when I do these tours and they go, you want
to put three? Yeah, I'm gonna put the money into
the tour because I wanted. I want people to go, Wow,
that was fun, right, because that's what life's about. Life's
not about like it was good. If it was just good,

(01:12:34):
then you're like, it's like when I come on the show,
I hope, I hope half the people are like, that
was crazy. He got drunk. He doesn't need to get drunk.
He doesn't need to share all these secrets. It's like
the best. The best moment I ever had in radio, ever,
is when I gave Leann's number out on radio. When

(01:12:54):
no one remembers that it because I gave out Liann's.
I gave out my Facebook and Leanne's number, right, and
it was the that I live for moments like that
in life. Let's do it again, two one, three numbers?
She would be living.

Speaker 1 (01:13:13):
Hey did you ever get her to do semi tasteful nudes?

Speaker 5 (01:13:18):
Are you serious? Did you? I learned how to have
a hidden folder. This is so good. I don't know
how to get into it. But did she do them? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Are you serious?

Speaker 5 (01:13:34):
Does she look so good?

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
Is it the ones that you've got on your Instagram?

Speaker 5 (01:13:37):
No, that's different, I got No, that's not I can't
show I would. Okay, So here's what it sounds. So
I've taken a couple behind her back? What is that bad?
I've taken a couple behind her back because you didn't
know about it, right, okay, a little sneaky sneaky piets
And so I got I would and and and I
want if Leanne gave me the green light to show you,

(01:14:01):
I would show you and you would say, wow, she
looks amazing. You should post those online. And then I
and then and then I'm obsessed with aiing her. Yes,
I ai her all the time. That's the stuff that's
on instrument.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
I heard NonStop.

Speaker 5 (01:14:16):
And and I've gotten it down pretty good where I
got it to where it's what she looks like. But
I have and then and then we've agreed. We've agreed
that I am allowed to take non identifiable pictures of
her body part, uh body parts, and and keep them
for myself non identifiable.

Speaker 3 (01:14:35):
Oh so you can take a picture of a boo,
but it can't be with her face.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
I was like, it's a boob. You should be able
to identify that. You just mean, as long as you can't,
I just know it belongs.

Speaker 5 (01:14:46):
To I know whose freckles those are. And it's crazy
how a freckle can turn you on where you're like, whoa,
that's her, And there's I'm being serious.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
There's one nude picture.

Speaker 5 (01:14:58):
I grabbed her where she is at the bathroom and
she's got her arm up and an arm like this,
and I snuck it. She looks amazing. I'm I'm almost
certain that if I showed you she'd be cool with it.
But let's see, I wish I could, she would be living,
she would I never get another nude. She looks so good,

(01:15:18):
so good that you're I'm being like, she would want
that online. He almost crazy for me not to leak it.
It's like in the Nickson tapes, that being just on
stand up and he was like, I don't know how
great would Trump tapes be. We can leak his I
love I'm not good at pressing. Are we drinking half

(01:15:42):
a bottle? Vagamy in you? Let's do it all right?
What else? The oh?

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
I was waiting for you to pour.

Speaker 5 (01:15:48):
Little little one? Little one?

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
Do you want one for the ride home?

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
You said, I have one for the right for the
right home.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
Yeah, okay, Two things.

Speaker 3 (01:15:57):
Number one, the uh your TV show, yes, which you
told his comes out January twenty second.

Speaker 1 (01:16:04):
No, that's okay, No, because I'm good, I'm gonna want
better you.

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
I'm gonna want better you there somebody that we know,
this guy Zach who.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
Listens to the show. Really good guy. He's already seen
the show.

Speaker 5 (01:16:15):
YEP said it's great, thank you, saying it's really sense
to this place for me because I'm not an actor,
so like I'm not I don't know how.

Speaker 1 (01:16:22):
To I know, I saw the machine.

Speaker 5 (01:16:24):
Yeah I've gotten better.

Speaker 3 (01:16:33):
No, no, he said, he said it's fantastic. And I
don't know, like what what what? Like club that is
where there's some Netflix people they get to see stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
So uh.

Speaker 5 (01:16:45):
Uh so you can roll the dice, right, I don't
know how this is waiting to inside baseball. Okay, you
can make your show like Tom and Tom's a safe
place for me to land and he makes a show
and he goes, no, no, it's I'll do what I want
to do. Or you can be a little bit old
school and say like yo, I would love to see

(01:17:06):
what people think of it. Yeah, test so that I
can change. But they don't like test it, and so
I tested it. I let it test and so they
release it to people on Netflix and they can watch it,
and then the testing comes in and then the testing
is very valuable, you know, like in you know, I
don't know how much I'm allowed to talk about. But

(01:17:26):
like one of the things is like in the testing,
Leanne wasn't super lovable, and they'd be like, well, I
don't want that represented in my show. That it's just
stuff like that, right, And so then you try to
just round her out a little bit in the edit.
And so it's not you can't reshoot it, but you
can just notice that, like maybe some lines that you
thought were funny come off aggressive from someone that people

(01:17:48):
already know. Right. It's not like tom Show, where it's
a brand new thing something people already know a little
bit about. So we tested it and tested very well. Yeah,
and so well he saw it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
He said it was great. Yeah, yeah, No, he really
liked it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
I'll tell you I'm very proud of it. I love it.

Speaker 5 (01:18:03):
It is it is very funny. It's very funny, and
it's and it's very different. And I'll tell you a
secret off air.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
Oh damn it.

Speaker 5 (01:18:15):
Okay, well I can't tell you on air because but
like I can't tell you on air, but it's it's
it's it's amazing. And the and the the plot moves
from episode one to episode two, it moves entirely in
a different direction, and when you get to the final episode,
I think we nail the landing so well that it

(01:18:36):
is a great, emotional, amazing I'm so excited for people
to see it. No, that's good, No, that's awesome. Though
I wanted to do it, I don't know how to
promote something like that. It's not stand up so it's
like I can't just tell a joke about it. It's
like everyone did a great job. You know, let's do
a shot the free bird. So you were twenty second.
I'm not supposed to I'm not supposed to announce it

(01:18:58):
until Christmas Day here in DC when I host a
never mind.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
That's what I'm. That's what I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:19:05):
That's when we announced Christmas Day against the Cowboys. Netflix
is gonna call me the the best sketch. Dam don't
sell your.

Speaker 4 (01:19:21):
Hot listen to that boys.

Speaker 5 (01:19:28):
Oh yeah, she's great, amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
Damn, hey, when did you almost kiss the cold kidman.

Speaker 5 (01:19:34):
On the lips?

Speaker 2 (01:19:36):
New's we even announced that. But I'm doing that show again.

Speaker 5 (01:19:42):
Uh what are you rolling your eyes out? My queer,
I'm going down the toilet.

Speaker 2 (01:19:47):
So Keith Urban liked me right, which tracks right now?
It does not need a cocaine budget.

Speaker 5 (01:19:55):
He loved me. He you know, I'm not evn mess around.
He was the host of New Yar's Eve on CBS
last year. Correct I swear to god, he said this.
I did my first read with Jelly and I'd made
like a gay joke, you know, right, And I wasn't
supposed to make it. And Keith Urban loved it, and

(01:20:17):
he was it was about being bears or what you know,
where someone's fantasy. I don't forget what it was. Keith
Urban goes, you should host next year, and I was like, yeah, right,
so I'm hosting this year. I swear about. Keith Urban
said that until at the end of the night, it
was it was everyone was, I spray champagne and we're
all having a great time. I didn't take my shirt off,
which is a big thing with CBS. Don't take your

(01:20:37):
shirt off. I'm spraying champagne. Keith Urban comes up and
grabs Leanne and gives her a kiss, and I was like, ah,
that's what we're doing, you know. And Bunny gives me
a kiss, and I'm like, oh, I give Jelly a kiss.
I give a kiss. And then Nicole Gibbons there and
I was like, I'm giving her a kiss, and she

(01:20:58):
was like I literally went in for the kiss and
she went and then instead like this and again in
her face. I'm really excited for a new movie. It
was so bad. Leanne comes up to me and he goes,
did you just try to kiss Nicole Gimman? I go,
is it noticeable? She goes, you were We were standing

(01:21:18):
in the center of the state, like in the center
of the the walkout was where And I was like,
Leann's like open mouths. I go, no, kind of, but
she's so beautiful. She's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:21:35):
And then the cruise you had mentioned the cruise is
the cruise? Is Is this the first cruise? No secone
second cruise, second cruise.

Speaker 5 (01:21:42):
Second cruise. It's great, the best, It's the most fun
you're ever gonna have, is it? I mean? But is it?
Is it out of control? So last year or the
time we did it before? We ran out of vodka
on the first night, so yes, So they sent a
ship back to the land to go get more vodka
and bring him back to the boat. Right, and we
set records for gambling, for booze, for everything we do.

Speaker 1 (01:22:05):
The smallest penis all right on the boat.

Speaker 5 (01:22:11):
And I give five thousand dollars for anyone who's got
the smallest one on the boat. And by the way,
all you got to do is show it to me.
I'll give you five thousand dollars. It is the fun
If you have a small penis right, come on my
cruiser and make your money back.

Speaker 2 (01:22:25):
I guarantee it is.

Speaker 5 (01:22:27):
It is the funnest time I've ever had. The comics
we bring on are more about are they a good hang,
right and a great comic as opposed to like, I'm
not but there's certain comics that are great comics but
really tough to be around. That we go, I just
this isn't your thing, right, Let's bring on great comics.

Speaker 1 (01:22:43):
That are fun to be around.

Speaker 5 (01:22:45):
Yeah, like, are you garbage guys? They're not doing it
this year, but they're they're amazing hangs, right, So we
put them up at a gambling table.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
I mean, it's just it's a blast. It's a blast.

Speaker 3 (01:22:54):
The I want the belly flop contest, which we learned
is a huge thing on cruise ships.

Speaker 5 (01:22:59):
Amazing. Who know. You know what we do is we
bring Miss Pat and then we tell Miss Pat, you
can bring as many black people as you want, and
that'll be our black section. And so she brings like
fifteen black it's all her whole family. I set them
all up. I put gimal cabins and then they run
the afternoon dance party and they make it. When we
did the smallest penis on the boat, Miss Pat was

(01:23:19):
the judge. She's like, I never see anything like that.
Are you giving me asn't any Yeah it was. It's
the cruise is crazy, right, And I don't think it's
on sale to the general public right now.

Speaker 3 (01:23:34):
I think it might be you better somebody like if
somebody should check, somebody should.

Speaker 5 (01:23:38):
Yeah, someone check it's uh Burt chreisercruise dot com. But
it's uh, it's it's amazing comedy, amazing podcasts. I'm all live.

Speaker 1 (01:23:47):
Oh, pre sale, it's one We're not.

Speaker 5 (01:23:51):
We're not fully on well because you know, I wanted
to give time for the people that did last the
last time to get their tickets, right, and so yeah,
we're we're we're tracking. I mean, it's gonna sell out,
but it's just at a certain point, you're like, we
tried to do a bigger boat. We tried to do Mexico.
We tried to do bigger things, but I just like
the energy of this boat. The Norwegian Jewel is awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:24:12):
The general on sale is today, though.

Speaker 5 (01:24:15):
Get your tickets today two pm today.

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 5 (01:24:20):
And I have not announced this and unlike everything else,
I haven't announced. So if you want to do that
as a Christmas present to the cruise, the cruise, but
the cruise is next year, I know. But to get
the tickets now. For the tickets now and then this
year for Christmas, go hey, I got us the cruise.
You can pay and down payments, you can. You can

(01:24:42):
book your cabin for I think like three hundred bucks, right,
And I will do. Because I always had a hard time,
like I would take my kids on trips. I don't
have a hard time presenting that as a present, right,
So if you want, I will as a cameo. It's
not a cameo, you're just doing the cruise. I will
do a video presentation to you and whoever giving the
cruise two for Christmas, so you can show them that

(01:25:03):
for Christmas' cool. I just came up with that last night.
I was like, because I'm taking my daughters on a
trip for Christmas, and I was like, I wish there
was a better way than just printing out a picture
of Italy.

Speaker 1 (01:25:16):
Wait, I thought you were coming to DC for Christmas.

Speaker 5 (01:25:18):
No, I'm a Christmas present. Oh oh oh, I'll be
in DC for Christmas for Netflix, NFL me, the Washington
Commanders and the Dallas Cowboys. I would love to announce
all the names, but tomser is not cool with it.

Speaker 3 (01:25:39):
All Right, very good, very good. The permission to Party
World Tour?

Speaker 2 (01:25:43):
What's no?

Speaker 1 (01:25:44):
No, no, permission to Party World Tour?

Speaker 3 (01:25:46):
Tonight, CFG Bank Arena in Baltimore, Sunday, Aultrea Theater in Richmond.
The cruise goes on sale at two at two at two,
and then yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:25:56):
That's good for now. That's good for now.

Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
What are you doing?

Speaker 5 (01:25:58):
What are you?

Speaker 3 (01:25:58):
I know?

Speaker 5 (01:25:59):
I'm thinking playing? Is this Margaret Price playing? Caught my
jee three eleven?

Speaker 1 (01:26:11):
If you tried to open Mountain kiss his ex.

Speaker 5 (01:26:14):
Wife pass him in the key urban doesn't sound more
like he's sweat sweat.

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
I did, and I made it awkward.

Speaker 5 (01:26:35):
Really cuse sweat, Cuth sweat, Keuth sweat. He was like,
I know, I was like, nouth sweat sweat. He was
like all right, and then I was like, good sweat.
And then he turned in and he's like good sweat.
I was like, yeah, exactly, give me better music, close house,
something real, something that moves me. You're so good at

(01:26:58):
this and you kind of dropped the ball today. And
maybe it's for bull Rush. Maybe it's the fact you
never worked for an organization. I don't know, but I
feel like there's a part of you that this is
what he did.

Speaker 1 (01:27:10):
Keith Herman, there's some massive.

Speaker 5 (01:27:12):
Songs that's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
Keth Sweat.

Speaker 5 (01:27:22):
Stop stop stop. We're going in the wrong direction. Can
you can you okay? Can I podcast coming out? Marcus King?

Speaker 3 (01:27:32):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:27:33):
The song is on and on. It's on and on, okay,
and I'm I want to I love Marcus King, but
this song spoke to me in a crazy way. Do
you believe Dangelo died with those apps?

Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
You think he'd never die?

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
Right? I like with those abs as you grab your Do.

Speaker 5 (01:27:56):
You know how much fat I had to touch to
get agree with that ticket? All right? Let me, hey,
hang on, let me let me. I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna give you my phone
and I'm gonna I'm gonna give you.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
It's half a bottle and you're a third of that.

Speaker 12 (01:28:21):
Well, if you go out and you get too drunk
calling me asking me to pick you.

Speaker 5 (01:28:26):
There might be an.

Speaker 12 (01:28:31):
There.

Speaker 5 (01:28:31):
All right, just get out of this because I think
I think there's an F bomb in here and I
don't want to have some sensor.

Speaker 2 (01:28:38):
All right, let's let's let's let's get out of this.

Speaker 5 (01:28:40):
How do we get out of Are you staying Ford
or no? A hundred Okay, I'm not going anywhere. You
realize this is my favorite thing in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:28:49):
Right, Okay, I was told there was an excell time.

Speaker 5 (01:28:51):
Just so you know, I know the Baltimore I'm a
hundred and eighty poll.

Speaker 4 (01:28:59):
Let's see it for it's right on the.

Speaker 12 (01:29:03):
Lonely thought you lucky here say I'm sorry again, Sensor,
it doesn't.

Speaker 9 (01:29:16):
Mean like that.

Speaker 5 (01:29:19):
Get a little bit of gonna take it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:24):
You're gonna take a sly nude like you're leanne.

Speaker 5 (01:29:26):
When I the other day I got an invite from
And if I need you, if you're black and listening,
I need you to back me up on this. But
if you're black and you live in DC, you know
what I'm about to say. Okay, Chris, Dave, Corey, Henry
and Marcus King. Right, Oh, an emotional I can write

(01:29:50):
invite to go see them at the Blue Note in
Los Angeles. Now, I've always wanted This is a bad reference.
I wish I had a different comp but I always
wanted to be like Bill Cosby. It's a bad camp.
But if you're my age, you understand what I'm saying. Sure, no,
but you wanted to be that cool dad that took

(01:30:11):
his wife out on dates and did cool. That was
the guy he was before he rapes everybody. You know.
You know what I'm saying, right, It's like on the
Cosby Show. He was the dad that went to the
cool jazz club and he had drinks with his wife
and he loved his family, but they still lived a life.
And I wanted to be that guy. My dad was
not that guy. My dad ran marathons, He did his
own thing. We did our own thing. We all would

(01:30:34):
meet up at Disney or what you know or whatever, right,
coach my baseball whatever. I just thought that that that
that version of a dad would be cool. And then
I get this invite from to anyone that's black and
listening knows two of the best jazz musicians in the world.
Stevie Wonder's favorite musician is Corey Henry Right and Chris

(01:30:56):
Dave is the best drummer effort and Marcus King who
is a prodigy guitarist. And I get an invite and
I take thirteen people to go see their show, and
at fifty three years old, I'm sitting there and I
go backstage and I hang out with them and we
talk and we just I'm just to a stand up
and messing around, and we have a great and there's

(01:31:17):
no awkwardness. And I go back and I watch the
show and I watch three of the greatest musicians in
the world play, and I realize I'm living. I am
the fifty three year old I wanted to be. Isn't
that crazy to go like I wanted as a kid.
I wanted to be cool, and I wanted to have
a great family, but I wanted to be tapped in
And here I am appreciating jazz and I'm like, oh,

(01:31:38):
this is amazing. I a wish everyone had the opportunity
to be.

Speaker 4 (01:31:42):
The solid.

Speaker 5 (01:31:55):
You know what cool? You just having all those win
All right, give me a quick break.

Speaker 1 (01:32:06):
Diane and Bert have dirt.

Speaker 5 (01:32:09):
Oh and I have tickets to.

Speaker 1 (01:32:10):
Give away to your show. Please, I'll do that next.

Speaker 5 (01:32:12):
All right, give me a quick break. It's Ellie in
the morning. All right, we got to get into some dirt.

Speaker 1 (01:32:22):
Right after that, I will have tickets for you can
go see Burt Kreischer.

Speaker 5 (01:32:26):
He will be in Baltimore tonight cfg Bank Arena.

Speaker 3 (01:32:29):
Not only do you get tickets to go see Bert,
you'll get to go backstage afterwards and meet Bert.

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
I don't know if you know that you're doing a
meeting great words, Yes I do.

Speaker 5 (01:32:38):
I'm so excited.

Speaker 2 (01:32:41):
If you want COVID come backstage. Is this by Bunny?

Speaker 5 (01:32:44):
This is by Bunny? This weeks of super Bowl. Look,
I'm not I don'ts on politics, but I love it. Yeah,
on vacation, sweet are we? I'm not I'm not talking

(01:33:07):
and I'm being dead cherious. This is what we're listening
to for the super Bowl. Bout me at all? Either,
I don't know you cancel either? Hold on, that's not
gonna do any English.

Speaker 1 (01:33:27):
There's also that's all.

Speaker 5 (01:33:28):
Now Now I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:35):
You know what the middle finger of the world hold
in Spanish?

Speaker 5 (01:33:39):
I love it, don't even give. I would give subtitles,
but I get the wrong subtitles. I go. I don't
brother my teeth in the mornings, I judge them in
the evenings. You don't know who I am. I right
horses to work in the mornings. I love this. You
should be able to choose two of one subtitle, like

(01:33:59):
the actual words or the fun words, and a comedian
should write the fun words and so that they can
enjoy it. Because middle of America is gonna hate this.
You realize this is this is wildly polarizing.

Speaker 3 (01:34:12):
Yeah, of course, yeah, No, I mean I get I
get that it's polarizing it at all.

Speaker 5 (01:34:20):
Yeah, but you grew up speaking French or something like
US one language. People are like, yo, do we gotta
get on to a linga to enjoy the super Bowl.
I'm not, by the way, I'm not party affiliated at all.
I'm a dead center guy, right, But that is crazy?
Who picked the Who picked this? Trump? No, he didn't, Dude,

(01:34:42):
if he had his way, he'd send them back to
that garbage on the news. I'm in the first place.
I'm doing another shot. This is gonna be a rough
super Bowl, so I'm gonna I'll tell you what I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:34:54):
Like, let's hang I gotta have a shot now. February
is right around the corner.

Speaker 5 (01:34:58):
That is is this another dueling? All right?

Speaker 2 (01:35:08):
That doesn't mean I'm in This is the most thing
I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (01:35:16):
This is so cool.

Speaker 5 (01:35:18):
Yeah, people are gonna watch this super Bowl than ever
because it's so it's so marketing.

Speaker 2 (01:35:26):
It's so marketing.

Speaker 5 (01:35:27):
It's like, yo, put a guy in the tether.

Speaker 3 (01:35:29):
Do you think that there were people I'm being serious.
Don't you think there were people that were like, I
don't like Kendrick Lamar.

Speaker 2 (01:35:35):
Yeah, white people, Yeah, they didn't at all. I didn't
mind at all.

Speaker 5 (01:35:40):
Yeah, but I like Kendrick Lamar.

Speaker 2 (01:35:43):
I like Kendrick Lamar.

Speaker 6 (01:35:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
And then who was in the year book?

Speaker 3 (01:35:46):
There was probably like when Prince did it, there were
probably people who are like, this is ridiculous.

Speaker 5 (01:35:49):
I don't want to watch hang on, so just argument sake, right,
can't we like is there like, is there someone we
can all celebrate? Like like it's like, I'm not no
nothing against bad Bunny, but I'm saying like when when
Doctor Dre and Eminem and fifty cented it Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 3 (01:36:07):
People who hated that do you think yes there, I
mean maybe not maybe, maybe not a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:36:15):
I love that she speaks in mind, so I'm probably
people that didn't like that.

Speaker 3 (01:36:21):
Okay, So nobody was yelling and screaming about Sandler putting
bad Bunny in his movie.

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
Nobody was yelling and streaming about.

Speaker 5 (01:36:28):
That Bad Bunny isn't Sandler's movie?

Speaker 6 (01:36:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:36:33):
Who's bad Bunny?

Speaker 5 (01:36:34):
I don't think I know who he is? What movie
was he? Habby Gilmour? Who was he?

Speaker 4 (01:36:43):
Caddy here?

Speaker 5 (01:36:45):
Hispanic caddy guy?

Speaker 1 (01:36:46):
Did you see Habby Gilmour?

Speaker 3 (01:36:50):
Did?

Speaker 5 (01:36:50):
Who? Did you think that is that?

Speaker 2 (01:36:52):
I just thought it was an extra? A?

Speaker 5 (01:36:58):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:37:00):
How bad Buddy's really big?

Speaker 5 (01:37:01):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:37:03):
Enormous eighty million listeners a month.

Speaker 2 (01:37:05):
Yes, it's cool. It's like telling me your wife can
do a setup.

Speaker 5 (01:37:11):
I don't care. I know, I don't mean that, but
it's not done effect me right, No, maybe me. But
like I'm saying, like, I don't know bad Buddy. I
don't listen to this.

Speaker 1 (01:37:20):
I don't by the way, I don't understand the word either.

Speaker 5 (01:37:23):
But he's a hell of a performer. That's fine, would
kill him to one of English. So I need to
go like I'm not this isn't. I mean, like, I'm
not a bottle service dude, so I don't know what
he's saying. It sounds cool, but it just sounds like
like oh cool. I mean, I okay, ready, and I'm

(01:37:47):
gonna say something. H it's aggressive. I don't I if
maybe if you're not speaking in English, I can't get
the thing of the song, like you remember words, you
remember ninety nine red balloons? Yes, okay, let's well, there's
so this is only for us grown ups, right. There's

(01:38:07):
two versions. And I then didn't like the German one.
I was like, I was like, I don't know what
they're saying, and it was lost on me. It was
the same song. Play play it, play right now, play
it right now.

Speaker 2 (01:38:18):
It was lost on me.

Speaker 5 (01:38:19):
And I'm I gotta explain this because I'm gonna I'm
gonna get in trouble. I'm certain, but I'm not. I'm
not upset about Bad Bunny playing for the Super Bowl.
I'm excited to see the outrage. That's what I'm excited
for sure. Yeah, that's gonna be fun and watch it
and watch it as a as a vessel to go
this is what it is. I can't wait to see

(01:38:39):
how I feel. But I will say I do understand
the outrage because it's like it actually is. I mean,
it's not for everyone. No, it's in a different language,
but that's okay, it is okay, it's in New America.
Progress doesn't feel fun. Progress doesn't feel fun and hurts

(01:39:03):
it first, Yeah, pronouns weren't fun, right, and then your
daughter said calls themselves day and You're like, I guess
I gotta do this for the rest of my life.
Progress isn't fun, but it's good, right, Yeah, So I'm
there for it. I'm there for it.

Speaker 2 (01:39:17):
And yeah, like if Celine Dion.

Speaker 1 (01:39:20):
Oh God, here we go, Yeah, sang all.

Speaker 2 (01:39:23):
Her songs in French, right, we'd be like, there's one,
give me one?

Speaker 5 (01:39:29):
Can I just get one? Like God, bless America, you know, gimme,
gimme ninety nine red balloons?

Speaker 4 (01:39:36):
Which version you means?

Speaker 5 (01:39:39):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:39:39):
Wait, which version do you want?

Speaker 2 (01:39:40):
Start? Start German because there's people that have never heard
this song.

Speaker 9 (01:39:44):
Okay, Okay, Oh wow, this is a banger, shinely finish

(01:40:07):
fun none.

Speaker 5 (01:40:10):
Okay, fund Okay, now now go to American one hold
on now, now listen, listen. You just heard you heard
that song right, and you were like, oh cool, we're
in Germany. We gotta get socks. It's called the War's coming.
Y'alla play the real one in a little toss shop.

(01:40:34):
Bones for the money. We've gone set them free.

Speaker 10 (01:40:37):
At the break of Dame to.

Speaker 5 (01:40:39):
One by one they were gone.

Speaker 1 (01:40:43):
Back up bass box and the softness flash.

Speaker 4 (01:40:46):
The message something's on the floating in the summer sky.

Speaker 5 (01:40:53):
Ninety nine Red Bons Go by Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:40:58):
Americans so much better.

Speaker 1 (01:41:00):
It's more comfortable.

Speaker 2 (01:41:02):
No, yeah, I know this whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:41:04):
No, no, I get it.

Speaker 5 (01:41:05):
You know, I get it. I bet if you're German
that sounds really great, and when you're American it sounds awesome.
Listen bad bunny, You're awesome. You're awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
You're awesome.

Speaker 5 (01:41:13):
It's undeniable. I'm just saying, bro. It was in English,
I could sing along with it instead of singing like
I'm shining sn I don't know what you're saying. How
great this is in America? In nineteen eighty two, this
was release and then they played the German one.

Speaker 2 (01:41:34):
I was like, whoa hold on, ready, here we go.

Speaker 5 (01:41:38):
Reasca. Her voice sounds so when you sing in English,
you sound like you you'll never know what it's like

(01:42:00):
to be curious about your sexuality. In nineteen eighty two,
it's no your heserosexual, but also going yo. I could
be either way. Driving down two seventy five, going to
Berkeley prep hearing this song. You're going, man, I understand
dator whit fun?

Speaker 3 (01:42:19):
This is.

Speaker 2 (01:42:23):
War sounds very different in German. That's all I'll say.
Can you doish?

Speaker 5 (01:42:28):
You know what I mean when you sing this is
war in German? Kyle's never heard this song? Okay, all right,
can we get into some yes please?

Speaker 11 (01:42:40):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:42:40):
And by the way, sew it here for Bad Bunny.
I'm so here for Bad Bundy. No, okay, I got it.

Speaker 2 (01:42:47):
I'm not that guy.

Speaker 5 (01:42:50):
But I can't wait for the outrage.

Speaker 2 (01:42:52):
It's gonna be crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:42:55):
All anyone should do is go to Shane Gillis's Twitter
and wait for his first text.

Speaker 2 (01:43:00):
Love, he'sould just if he was smarty?

Speaker 5 (01:43:02):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:43:02):
Love the halftime show question mark?

Speaker 1 (01:43:06):
All right, let's get into some dirt please.

Speaker 6 (01:43:08):
I don't forget Commanders playing early on Sunday. They are
in Spain face off against the Miami Dolphins, so that'll
be at nine to thirty. Kyle's Ravens or in Cleveland
on Sunday, really brown.

Speaker 5 (01:43:19):
And when the Clemanders are in Spain? Is the halftime show,
Keith Urban, I bet it's not. I bet it's Jean
Dell ron Law. I'm just saying. I'm not just saying.
I'm just saying, I hope it'll sell like a like
a lunatic up here. Half of DC has to agree
with me. That's the numbers, right, fifty to fifty.

Speaker 4 (01:43:40):
Glenn Powell hosting SNL this week in Olivia. Dean is
the music Gwel?

Speaker 2 (01:43:44):
Yes, yeah, I thought he was hold On not the
political pundit.

Speaker 1 (01:43:50):
No, the actor.

Speaker 5 (01:43:52):
No, not Colin Powell.

Speaker 2 (01:43:53):
No, who's Glenn Powell? Thought he was the dead.

Speaker 3 (01:43:56):
Colin Powell or Glen Powell. Colin Powell's dead, Pal's dead. No,
he's actually gonna be on the NL tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (01:44:03):
Glen Powell, the hop top gun Maverick.

Speaker 5 (01:44:10):
It was like Glen Palell. P there's a Glen Pale
that was like a political pundit. Glen Pale, Are you
thinking of Carmel? No, Glen Palell, Glen Palella, Glen.

Speaker 1 (01:44:22):
Pal Glen p you're an American actor?

Speaker 2 (01:44:25):
No, Glen Powell.

Speaker 5 (01:44:26):
No, actually it.

Speaker 1 (01:44:27):
Says say Glen Palell avoids political talk.

Speaker 5 (01:44:30):
Good for him, and he loves him. At the super Bowl,
I can't wait. Do you realize what a loaded gun
this is? Because they're gonna cut at the Super Bowl
shots of celebrities going like are you cool with bad Bunny,
and they're gonna have to be like, oh, yeah, you know,

(01:44:52):
and then they're gonna cut people that aren't like Vince.

Speaker 2 (01:44:55):
Fallen, who's just like stone face.

Speaker 5 (01:44:59):
The bud. But I want to get invited to the
Budweiser Box, right with with with Post Malone and and
Shane and and Vince Fallen and all those guys that
hack the Butweiser Box has to have the arms folded.
And then if they were smart, they do this and
they go bad. Buddy didn't Bad.

Speaker 4 (01:45:22):
Buddy and Post Wollon performed together at Coachella.

Speaker 2 (01:45:24):
I don't know, Buddy, I'm the wrong person.

Speaker 4 (01:45:28):
I thought you did a music podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
Do you remember post was when he did hip hop
or country?

Speaker 4 (01:45:36):
This would have been three so before.

Speaker 2 (01:45:39):
Who knows.

Speaker 5 (01:45:40):
I can't all these transitions. This is reminiscence of THESS.
I told you it doesn't feel good. No one enjoys progress.
I mean some people do, but most people go it
feels uncomfortable to me, right, and then they go, it's
not bad on the other side. Yeah, no, exactly, yeah exactly.
But you tell the good is coming, the good's coming. Yeah,

(01:46:03):
if the good means we all speak Spanish, I'm quick
and maybe I have fifty years left to learn Spanish.
But no, it's great, it's great.

Speaker 3 (01:46:14):
My grandfather senty years life with that longevity, Coach, you're
in the right way.

Speaker 5 (01:46:18):
I wish I had. They have a new thing where
it's an app where you're get a holo hologram of
your of your grandparents.

Speaker 3 (01:46:24):
Careful here, what's your grandfather gonna say about that?

Speaker 2 (01:46:30):
He's not going to the super Bowl?

Speaker 5 (01:46:34):
That just slipped up down. My grandfather's gonna be like
what I thought they were done. We took care of them,
all right.

Speaker 1 (01:46:45):
Please keep going, Please keep going. Glenn, you just one
flip cup without even trying.

Speaker 4 (01:46:51):
I know.

Speaker 5 (01:46:51):
That's amazing. Is Glenn Paral not a political pundit?

Speaker 4 (01:46:55):
Glenn Beck?

Speaker 5 (01:46:56):
That's it? Sorry, Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead, I'm sorry,
You're right, Colon pal.

Speaker 6 (01:47:02):
Glenn Powell has the new movie The Running Man, which
is out this weekend.

Speaker 4 (01:47:07):
The remake of the movie I read the book.

Speaker 2 (01:47:09):
Okay, okay, he's beautiful, he's great.

Speaker 6 (01:47:17):
Peacock canceling poker Face after two seasons, but the creators
are developing a new version that will have Peter Dinkledge
replacing Natasha Leone as the detective. So they're going to
do like I like that, They're going to do a
two season order and then every two seasons they're going
to rotate in.

Speaker 4 (01:47:35):
A different different Oh, just somebody else, a different celebrity
in that role.

Speaker 5 (01:47:39):
Also, so most underrated hot chick in the world.

Speaker 3 (01:47:43):
Oh, I agree, there's something like there's some dirty sexy.

Speaker 4 (01:47:47):
It's the smoking, the what's wrong.

Speaker 5 (01:47:49):
It's like when her liver failed in the hospital and
you're like, and you're back, yeah, yeah, yeah, you mean
an next heroin atic.

Speaker 2 (01:47:58):
It's like, yo, I don't care, let's do it. I'll
put on a scheme mask and lay upside down on
the bed.

Speaker 6 (01:48:04):
Lady College athletic director John Bean, featured on the Netflix
show Last Chance You was shot in Oakland, California, on
campus yesterday. We haven't gotten an update on his condition,
but he was in critical condition as of last night.
They're still investigating, they said He was featured on season
five of that show, which is all about college football
athletics and.

Speaker 4 (01:48:24):
Their struggle struggles.

Speaker 6 (01:48:26):
The season focusing on him aired in twenty twenty, David
Coverdale announcing his retirement after a more than fifty year
career on Instagram. He explained that recent years have made
it clear it's time too. As he put it, hang
up my rock and roll platform shoes and my skin
tight genes.

Speaker 4 (01:48:42):
So with David Coverdale like white stay yeah, no.

Speaker 1 (01:48:47):
Whitesnake yeah yeah, Okay, I'm just asking.

Speaker 6 (01:48:53):
Kevin Hart Keenan Thompson are going to host Good Sports,
which is a new weekly talk show that'll debut on
the twenty fifth on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 4 (01:49:01):
So this is sort of piggyback.

Speaker 2 (01:49:02):
We just talked about Kevin Hart today.

Speaker 1 (01:49:05):
Is he really great.

Speaker 5 (01:49:10):
Bunny?

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
But he's awesome.

Speaker 5 (01:49:13):
He's got so much energy. He always shows up. Yeah,
we were just talking today when I walked in and
I said, I wish you could be more like him,
Like I wish you could be more like every outfit
he's in. It's like he looks like he's presentable. He
got like.

Speaker 1 (01:49:34):
Stomach.

Speaker 2 (01:49:35):
The thing I am is comfortable, but I'm not like
I guess I'm more.

Speaker 5 (01:49:40):
I don't know. I don't I couldn't even tell you.
But like, as I moved forward to my career, I
woke up this morning and I put on this jacket
because I was like, I was like, I wish I
could be like Kevin because he's like when you see
him me, you're like, oh, I got to step up
my game. When I show up, You're like, oh, I
can lower my guard. So I was like one, two

(01:50:01):
or four, and I was like, I'm going to what's like,
what's wrong in my brain? Keep going?

Speaker 6 (01:50:06):
Amy Schumer Chris Fisher reportedly devoted to making their marriage work,
despite some recent rumors that have been swirling that they
could be headed for divorce.

Speaker 1 (01:50:16):
Secret time go, secret time go.

Speaker 5 (01:50:18):
No nothing, shh. Here's the deal. She looks incredible, she does, No,
she does, she looks great, and he's stuck with her

(01:50:40):
through all the fat days.

Speaker 3 (01:50:41):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:50:44):
Oh wait, so you think he doesn't like her?

Speaker 9 (01:50:46):
Now? No?

Speaker 1 (01:50:48):
No, no, because there are people no I say this
all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:50:51):
I say this all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:50:51):
There are people who get mad if their spouse balloons
up and you're and they're like, oh, that's not what
I like. And then there are people who like their
their their spouse heavy and then they lose a lot
of weight and go, that's not that's not what I like.

Speaker 1 (01:51:06):
That's not what I married.

Speaker 5 (01:51:08):
Oh my god, you're right. And I did not realize
you were what you were saying. So Leanne, Leanne, No, no, Leanne.
I like Leanne a little bigger, right, I don't know.
I just like because we have sex in the dark,
so I just feel So it's like I was like,
this is great, it's more things to touch, right, And
then when she got really skinny, it wasn't that I
didn't like her, but it's like things didn't fill out

(01:51:29):
the way I liked. Right. No, I understand. I understand that.

Speaker 1 (01:51:32):
I understand what you're saying.

Speaker 5 (01:51:34):
Yeah, nobody. I assumed she was cheating on him.

Speaker 1 (01:51:37):
Oh okay, never mind.

Speaker 5 (01:51:43):
Yeah, yeah, I just I mean, I just assumed.

Speaker 2 (01:51:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:51:46):
I'm sorry, Amy, you can assume what everyone about me.

Speaker 6 (01:51:51):
I know you have.

Speaker 5 (01:51:51):
But the truth is she looks incredible. She does, right, majorno.
She looks incredible. And I was just like, I don't know,
old school party, Amy was a wild person. I mean,
we're all we're all friends here, right, Yeah, she was
a wild person and then she, you know, got bigger,
met this autistic dude. They got married and they had kids,

(01:52:14):
and you were like, dude, that's a guy. Guy's a
baller because he was like with her during all her
big faces, right and like Rosetia, I have it too,
I'm not. But then she got hot and I was like,
she's off to the races, That's what I thought. And
this dude's sitting with his kids, like, Yo, where are
you going? She's like, I got a party live at

(01:52:36):
these legs.

Speaker 9 (01:52:37):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:52:37):
I looked like Sydney Sweeney, but she could read.

Speaker 1 (01:52:43):
Yet don't.

Speaker 6 (01:52:44):
Congratulations to Kenny Chesney his new book Heart Life Music,
topping the New York Times Bestsellers list.

Speaker 1 (01:52:50):
Love Kenny ches too right there with you.

Speaker 5 (01:52:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:52:53):
New Kids on the Block announcing sixteen new dates through
twenty twenty six at their Las Vegas residency at Dolby
Lyn At Park MGM.

Speaker 5 (01:53:02):
What Great, No No Love, Donnie Yeah Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:53:07):
Obviously. Cardi be welcoming baby number four. It's Little Boy,
her first one with boyfriend Stefan Diggs.

Speaker 4 (01:53:13):
Also Bravo con happening this weekend in Las Vegas.

Speaker 3 (01:53:17):
All the Oh Boy Now now now you pissed Diana,
like all the Bravo, the Real Housewives and the fand
Andy Cohen and.

Speaker 2 (01:53:26):
Shout out the Bravo. They're the only network that's still around.

Speaker 5 (01:53:29):
Yeah, Comedy Central's gone, Travel Channel's gone, everything's gone, and
Bravo is still killing it.

Speaker 1 (01:53:35):
Yeah, No, they're they're doing well. Travel Channel went downhill
when when Thank You.

Speaker 5 (01:53:41):
Absolutely was when Bourdaine and Oh and Boordain left and.

Speaker 2 (01:53:47):
They were like, oh wheel the boat afloat, oh oh sucked.

Speaker 6 (01:53:53):
The fan that went after Ariana Grande at that red
carpet event in Singapore is now going to be facing
official charges of final about two thousand dollars after he's
expected to plead guilty to being a public nuisance. But
I guess he's been kind of known to do things
like that in the past.

Speaker 5 (01:54:07):
That doesn't just show up right right, that doesn't show
up on a Thursday, you're a lunatic.

Speaker 2 (01:54:12):
There was a guy that broke.

Speaker 5 (01:54:13):
Into our show one time and he climbed, he climbed
the things in the back and then broke into the
back and then put on a janitor's uniform and then
he was hanging out in the green room in the
janitor's uniform and then our security was like, yo, why
are you a janitor? And you're in the green room
and he took a swing and he hit my security guy.

(01:54:36):
A fight broke out and they broke his finger or
maybe something, but they arrested him. And I remember Big
jokes and was like, dude, he's a fan, and I
was like, no, he's not right. No, a fan doesn't
steal a janitor's uniform. Yeah right, And then I was like, Jay,
that's legionis kank? Stuff like that's not regular human being,
stuff like you don't steal a uniform and break in

(01:54:59):
and like dude making mopping up, like big fan, can
you get a picture real quick? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:55:05):
That's wild.

Speaker 1 (01:55:06):
Did you jump into the fight?

Speaker 2 (01:55:08):
No, I wasn't even there.

Speaker 1 (01:55:11):
Or did you treat it like the nurse on that flight?

Speaker 5 (01:55:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:55:19):
And the permission to party World Tour tonight in Baltimore.

Speaker 3 (01:55:25):
Up.

Speaker 1 (01:55:26):
No, but your hair goes from side to stomach tonight.

Speaker 2 (01:55:35):
I am so hammered. I did not expect to get
this trunk.

Speaker 1 (01:55:38):
I didn't expect you to either. I expect you and
you that's more than it's actually more than half.

Speaker 5 (01:55:44):
It's going to be such a great day. We got
a seafood restaurant. The ravens are showing up. He's from Baltimore.

Speaker 1 (01:55:53):
All right, tonight, Burt Kreischer.

Speaker 2 (01:55:55):
I love you, guys. I think I love you more
than you love me.

Speaker 5 (01:55:59):
That's you're wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:56:00):
Yeah, and I'll tell you why.

Speaker 5 (01:56:02):
I took a year and a half off of stand up,
and I realized how much I love my fans versus
they loving me like day.

Speaker 2 (01:56:08):
Not a lot of them hit me up like yo,
where are you? But I kept going where are you?

Speaker 5 (01:56:12):
Guys? If I, if I, if I God forbid, beat
up Leanna killed her murder right, God forbid, God forbid,
I'd be sitting in a prison cellar going what are
my fans doing? None of them would be like I
miss bird. They give up on me. That's why I
don't kill my wife. It's a selfish reason. This is

(01:56:36):
the best radio I've ever done in my life. Always,
every time. And I said that. I said that one
time to cowhead, Right, I said, one of my best
friends is Mike Caltaz in Tampa, said, can't tell you
what I love about Elliott? He said what I said,
do you go in? And he does the best interview
you've ever done. And it's like top to bottom for

(01:56:56):
like two hours. He'll let it run. It's always inquisitive,
it's always questionable, and it's always like fun and interactive.
And I watched his eyes to flate and he was like,
I also do a radio show. And I was like,
I forgot I was talking to you. That's a true story.
That's a true story.

Speaker 1 (01:57:15):
All right, Well we did we did good today. We
did two twenty today.

Speaker 3 (01:57:18):
Yeah, we did two twenty flew by barely even finished
a bottle of vodka.

Speaker 1 (01:57:23):
No for the ride home.

Speaker 5 (01:57:26):
For the ride home, make it interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:57:27):
You've got a bus driver.

Speaker 5 (01:57:29):
Yeah, this is that sounds Chesney? No, no, no, we
end strong.

Speaker 2 (01:57:42):
Hold on, hold on, let me tell you what we
end all Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:57:46):
Usually is so good that we just said we love Chesney.

Speaker 5 (01:57:49):
I know, but it's not what we close on.

Speaker 2 (01:57:51):
Oh the fun is it?

Speaker 1 (01:57:55):
Tipple.

Speaker 5 (01:57:56):
That's why it's on training this.

Speaker 1 (01:58:00):
Have a little help town crazy cheeseburgers. Don't make it
a downers.

Speaker 5 (01:58:21):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:58:22):
I haven't announced this yet.

Speaker 5 (01:58:24):
This is brings in. I haven't announced this yet. This
will not be announced the December first.

Speaker 1 (01:58:30):
December first, we're going We're going good and early.

Speaker 5 (01:58:33):
Yes, if I ever tell secrets, it's always on this show.
On the eve of Nascar, I'm throwing a party. I'm
a team of Nascar and UH and we will throw
in Daytona a party of the night before Nascar. I
have acquired some amazing talent diplo, Ernest myself, comedians, but

(01:59:01):
more important than anyone. They were like, yo, you get
to pick one band headline. I was like, you know
a lot of great bands, but I know Nascar. I
do know Nascar. I've been to a lot of races,
and I know that in order to go to an event,
you got to pack up the whole tent. You got
to pack up the RV, you gotta put the grill away.
You gotta not want to eat there. You gotta want
to eat there. And I was like, what band gets

(01:59:24):
you to leave your place and go there? And they
came in a bunch of names and I and I
read all the names and I settled on one name.
And this is how we start. We go out. Now,
I'm gonna send you the name. Okay, I was hoping.

Speaker 4 (01:59:40):
He realized he hadn't done it yet, so I.

Speaker 5 (01:59:45):
Wish it was echoing the bunny man.

Speaker 1 (01:59:49):
I was in heavy for that.

Speaker 5 (01:59:51):
Okay, Now you gotta.

Speaker 1 (01:59:55):
You know the five hundred is always right around my birthday.

Speaker 5 (01:59:58):
Buddy, we've already teamed up there go so uh now
there's a bunch of ones, Okay, but I want you
to pick the right one so that we enjoy it
and don't go stereotypical.

Speaker 4 (02:00:10):
People are strange or the killing men.

Speaker 5 (02:00:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:00:18):
So now so now pick a good one.

Speaker 5 (02:00:20):
I hope it's bad Bunny. It's why wouldn't I pick
bad bunny? Why wouldn't I pick bad bunny? Why wouldn't
I pick bad bunny? Listen, we have not gone on
sale with these tickets. Uh, these are There's not for
another two months that we're coming out with this. This
is announced.

Speaker 1 (02:00:40):
Don't tell anybody.

Speaker 2 (02:00:41):
Don't tell anybody.

Speaker 5 (02:00:42):
But on eve of of of the Daytona five hundred,
the night before it's me Ernest Diplo, a bunch of comics.
We've got barbecue, we've got food, we've got beer. We're
just doing a party. That's all you gotta do is
come to party. And I they had one band and

(02:01:02):
my first pick was this band, and no one agreed
to it. Everyone was like, j Boozy boozy, can we
edit that out? Joy Chaboozy, I gotta we can't edit
that out. I gotta announce him next week at the
c M as shaboozy, shaboozy.

Speaker 4 (02:01:25):
Now you're acting like Pete Davidson.

Speaker 5 (02:01:27):
Why what do you do?

Speaker 4 (02:01:28):
Don't as people call you all the time.

Speaker 5 (02:01:31):
Shaboozy to edit stuck out? Oh yeah, wait, how did
you know that?

Speaker 6 (02:01:35):
You told us.

Speaker 5 (02:01:38):
There? So I said, this is who I want to play.
I'm gonna do a shot at vodka. Tell you guys,
I love you with all my heart. I love you too,
And let's close out on this. This is this is

(02:02:12):
who doesn't want this? I have the Amber hooding. We're
going all right.

Speaker 13 (02:02:23):
Burt Chreischer Tonight, CFG Bank Arena and Baltimore Sunday night,
the Audrey of Theater in.

Speaker 8 (02:02:28):
Richmond, Tomorrow night.

Speaker 13 (02:02:31):
Pershy, the fully loaded cruise goes on sale in two
hours at twenty minutes January.

Speaker 1 (02:02:38):
Twenty second, free Bird on Netflix and the night before
the Daytona five hundred