EITM: Lunch Driving 11/13/25

Car blanche?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
They were doing a survey about what's your go to
food to eat in the car, and a lot of
it is the stuff you would expect, right, a ton.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Of beef, jerky, hamburgers, you know what.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
You know what comes up a decent amount, which is
which I've never done. Soups, come up with decent drink
you could drink it exactly exactly. You know what else
got a lot of answers, which I really appreciated because
it is my go to in the car.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
If if i'm searching, if i'm searching.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
The two hamburgers from McDonald's that meal, they're they're kind
of small, taller.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, you don't have to worry about it, like they're good.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
And there's not a lot of topics.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Exactly exactly with some fries, like that's a great go to.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
That is a fantastic go to.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
But so I could go through the whole list of
what people eat in they're a lot of candy the
and that's all fine, Like to me, that's not like.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Eating in the car. That's having a snack.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
But you know what's crazy to me in We're almost
at twenty twenty six, but I'll still call it twenty
twenty five the number of people that have crazy rules
about like some people that they asked to take the survey.
Oh nothing, you don't eat in a car, cars for driving,
you don't eat it's twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Like, let's get over it.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Is that a cleanliness thing or a distraction thing?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I am that they didn't expound upon. And then I
like these people, I'll only drink in the car. No
eating in the car.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Well, what's the point, what's the point?

Speaker 3 (01:29):
The kids come into play here too?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
What do you mean?

Speaker 5 (01:32):
Just because I just remember my friend's car, and this
is before I had my child, Her car was disgusting
because of the way that her kids, like when they
were like you know, four and five, would eat in
the vaccine.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
So I don't think so not based on what I
was reading.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Rarely let Marley eat in the car?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Are you serious? Yes? Are why?

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Because I didn't want not that often? I mean maybe
in a pinch. I'm talking about like a road trip.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah no, but like you can eat you know what's
you know, what's good? Like like I don't eat wraps.
I'm not a big raps guy.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
The but like if you get a small burrito where
it's all wrapped up. That's good because everything's kind of enclosed.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Now sometimes the beans and stuff will kind of spill out.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
A little bit.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah but wait, so you would.

Speaker 5 (02:23):
Remember my friend's backseat was like loaded with crushed goldfish
and cher But that's a different This is filthy.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Yeah, but that's it. I feel like that's.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Different because kids are a game or rule changing.

Speaker 6 (02:34):
Yeah. Yeah, you may be totally one way, and the
second you turn around and see children for the first
time or a friend's car, you're changing up.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
What can happen, at least in the backseat.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
I like the people that have their own rules as
adults for.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Themselves, Like I don't understand that, like the.

Speaker 6 (02:51):
Pinch doesn't even happen to them because there is a
hard and fast rule.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
They're water only.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah the oh well, so for drinks, white who can't
water coffee?

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Drink whatever you want.

Speaker 5 (03:04):
Get a milkshake, and there's people what do you mean
milkshakes like a like food, water and coffee is a
little different.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I think, Oh, I'm sorry, do you drink your Do
you have a bowl that you pour your milkshake in?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
It's in a cup with a straw.

Speaker 6 (03:17):
Yeah, but could stain coffee water really can only just
make it.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Wet the.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
So do you like again? Maybe maybe I'm different than
you guys, but I like. I've had a milkshake in
my life and I drink it through the straw, right,
and then I put it down, sometimes in a car,
sometimes at home. I don't recall going, oh my god,
I stained again to drink it. It goes down your.

Speaker 6 (03:43):
Mouth, it could tip, it could tip. Oh for instance,
last night, I used cup holders. The kids got Wendy's
and my daughtersfies. My daughter didn't finish her frosty and
wanted it in the freezer, so I put it in there,
thinking I'd be the one that then opened up the
freezer to retrieve it for her later in the evening. Nope,
she comes down. Could not pull that thing out harder,

(04:05):
and thank goodness, I put an aluminum foil cover over
top it because it tipped but stayed in the cup.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Right. Okay, but that's that's different. That's not in your car.

Speaker 6 (04:16):
But I'm saying again, she's not opening those freezer door
water spill than a milk sake.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
By the way, you know who you know who's got
a crazy rule?

Speaker 1 (04:26):
And this will not apply to anybody else. But in
terms of and it's not even a car, but it's something.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Else, is it?

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Sam?

Speaker 2 (04:34):
No?

Speaker 1 (04:35):
No, no, no, Although Sam, Sam will surprisingly eat in
a car.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Well that's not true. Sam won't eat in his car.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
You won't eat right, No, but he would eat in
he would eat in Jody's car. Yeah, he would eat
in her car. You know Sam's go to pizza. Loved
eating pizza.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
And it's a weird car food.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
No, but you And again this is going to go
way over everybody's head. Who's the president and CEO of
our company? Yeah, Bob Pittman, right, and we know we
know not only is he a pilot, but he has
a private plane. Only clear alcohol is what you can
drink if you're a passenger in the plane.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Because he doesn't want like a whiskey stain.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Somebody spilled a glass of red wine and he lost
his mind.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
So now only clear alcohol. How do you know that?
Because I know somebody?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Well yes, but I know a higher up who got
to go on the plane and they were like, hey,
if you want to bring a cocktail, you can, And
he was a Jack Daniels drinker and was told.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
No, not on that vodka or gin, that's or tequila. Yeah,
that's what you can have. Wow.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, so but that's the same. That's on a poor
man's scale. That's like your milkshakes selling.

Speaker 6 (05:52):
It's just like a private plane in that red.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
No tequila, oh oh dark whatever. I don't I don't
drink tequila.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Line wan, Hi the morning, everybody. Everybody's phone's very loud today. Yes, sir,
what can I do for you?

Speaker 7 (06:16):
I had a buddy in college. You see ramen while
he drove?

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Was it a cup? Like the cup of ramen?

Speaker 8 (06:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (06:24):
Well, the first time I saw him do it, I
got in his back seat and there was a cup
sitting behind his driver's seat, and I was like, dude,
you got a couple of ramen. He's like, oh, hear
me that? And he literally just bare handed.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Now let me ask you this, like you you drink
in your car? You drinking eating your car?

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Right?

Speaker 7 (06:42):
Oh? Absolutely?

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (06:43):
Yeah yeah, I just got donut.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
There you go, very good. Yeah, I got no problems
with that. I got no problems.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I always have the extra napkins.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
God, I have a tongue. It works so much better.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
But yeah, no, the the I don't understand somebody that
would still have that rule if you told me that
you had like a super car, like I don't want
to get I don't want to get Schmitz in the Bagatti.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
I get that.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, but if you're just driving a regular car, eat
and drink.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
From Snapschat drinks and bananas only.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh, bananas came up a lot. But what is he
doing with that? That creates trash?

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Trash bag?

Speaker 2 (07:20):
That creates trash. I've so does McDonald's, by the way,
to be.

Speaker 6 (07:24):
Annoying too, because I'll eat a banana in the car
and there are times when you just throw it down floorboards.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Absolutely no, that is where trash goes. Do you know
how many times I've thrown bags down there?

Speaker 6 (07:36):
But at least they're in a bag, that's true, that's
just a peel the no.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
But same do it with apple cores.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
I've never had an apple in the car?

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Oh really? Oh I'll eat an apple in the car. Yeah,
it goes right down on the floor.

Speaker 6 (07:49):
I'm surprised you don't throw rhines and peels and cores
out the window.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
No that I mean no, that's littering, that's littering money
food and that is no.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
No window tosses only for cigarettes.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
You know that, Okay, because those biodegrades.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Deer food, Hi, Elliott in the morning, that's where you
see the deer smoking.

Speaker 7 (08:11):
Good morning, Elliott.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
By the way, you know you know who posted a
picture of themselves smoking yesterday, Maaron Morris.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, I didn't know she smokes.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
She she posted it was her standing somewhere, she's overseastoring
and it was her standing smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
I was like, oh my god, this is amazing.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Or is it like drunk ciggies don't count.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I don't know, but it was hot, Like, no, it
was very sexy.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's very sexy anyway, I'm sorry, Yes, sir, Yes, sir,
Hope Hayes doesn't know, Hey Elliott.

Speaker 7 (08:39):
Yes, I'm a truck driver and I have I'm always
eating on the road. But I've learned I have zero
limitations as far as what I can and can't eat
in the truck because I learned a trick from this
old pro wrestling manager, Jim Fournette. He used the thing
that he called a burger cowel. And what I did
is I'd bring my work bag and then also a
beach cow with me. I'd lay it over my chest

(09:01):
and laugh, and I eat whatever the hell I want,
and if it makes a mess, I just take it
out on the washing machine when i'd get home.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
You know yourself, you know what that may be. I'm
putting together. I'm putting together.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
A store next year of Elliott in the Morning gear
burger towel.

Speaker 7 (09:21):
You want to know something, No, I'm not going to
call it a beach.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Towel because I don't want people to go like I
have to wait. No, it's the Elliot of the Morning
burger towel. You just drape yourself so funny, Yes, sir?

Speaker 7 (09:31):
About the guy that I learned this from, Jim's Bournette.
He has a podcast and a website. He sells a
burger towel with his space on it.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
It's hilarious, all right, But hey, can I ask you this?

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Can I ask you this? Because I would assume, like
you said, you're on the road all the time.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
I get it. Are there are right now? Are there
truck drivers that won't eat or drink in the in
the truck?

Speaker 8 (09:54):
Like?

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Do they have those rules?

Speaker 7 (09:56):
Owner owner operators that think that their truck is like
they're at a car show where they wax and polish
everything are the biggest douchebags in the trucking industry. There's
videos of these guys that you think they're at a
goddamn museum. Those people don't eat in their trucks any
If you're getting over the road guy, if you're just

(10:18):
you know whatever, Like I'm a regional driver, I don't
give a damn. I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna pick my nose,
wipe it on my boogerboard, which is the front part
of my seat, and then I'm gonna use my burger
towel and I'm gonna get it going and make some money.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh my god, you're a brother from another mother. All right, dude,
I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah, there she is. Yet,
isn't that hot?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
You do?

Speaker 6 (10:42):
Like?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
Because the Eiffel Towers and the.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Hellsh I didn't even realize. Yes, Oh so she's in Paris.
Oh it's very in. I knew she was overseas a
great picture. That picture is so hot. Where am I going?
Line one?

Speaker 1 (10:58):
Now, I'll tell you Jackie does feel that way when
she sees me. She's not like, oh he looks so
hot smoking Hi Elliot in the morning.

Speaker 8 (11:06):
Hey Elliott, yes, sir. Hey, I just got a new car. Man,
Well it's new to me, right, I got a twenty
two Expedition Platinum Max and I have a five year old,
a two year old and a one month old and
it's already destroyed.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah there you go. Yeah, it's a twenty twenty two.
Like you're not the first person to get in there.
The other thing, hey, thank you, sir.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
The other thing that some people said, why they won't
eat in the car smell.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Oh I can't understand that, but that doesn't linger. But
if that doesn't rise, like if you eat, if you
eat a club, it will linger.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
In the in the in the car, which, by the way,
I shouldn't have said that, Like I won't need a
club sandwich in the car because that that that's a
lot of mayo and and baked.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I always go l like lettuce, you know that.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
The But I try not to eat club sandwiches in
the car also because they're real thick.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
But don't you notice, like if you bring like leftovers
home and there's some fries left on your plate, and
then the next day your car smells like French fries,
it's kind of a nice surprise.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Oh I love the smell, but I got lost in.
I've never taken fries. I've never had leftover. I've never
had to go like fast food fries, I've never had.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
I get them all the time, but I've never eaten
them at home.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
Oh, eat them all the way.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
On the way.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, I gotta be honest, I don't know that I've
ever had a to go meal at home. What no,
I mean if I pick it up for somebody else
your house, I just mean for myself.

Speaker 6 (12:48):
I was gonna say, oh, dad's here, he's got the food, all.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Right, Yeah, no, no, No, it's nice if I'm picking
up for like when when the kids were at home
or somebody, then yes, But for myself, I don't think
it too go meal is ever made at home.

Speaker 6 (13:01):
But are usually on the go, usually on my way home.
Oh so you're not headed somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, Like sometimes I'll even stop, like if I burn
a lot of calories in old man hockey, I'll grab
some taco bell some TV on the way home.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Like that doesn't make it home.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
Because they said she started it off by saying only
in a pinch.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
The no, not only in a pinch, Well, it is
in a pinch. There's nothing else open? Where am I
gonna go? Well, I'm gonna go call Morton's and see
if they were open at one in the morning.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
Where my god, I'm crazy.

Speaker 4 (13:33):
I smell like s.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Hi Elliott in the morning.

Speaker 10 (13:40):
Hey, good morning, Elliot. How are you doing.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Hey, I'm doing great. What can I do for you?

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Uh?

Speaker 10 (13:45):
Yeah, So I was just calling to you guys. You're
talking about eating in the car.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Uh.

Speaker 10 (13:49):
This is definitely not my proudest moment. But the other day,
after I got off work, I worked in the night shift.
My wife wanted me go pick up something for free
on Facebook market Place all my way. I got a
large Domino pizza and I ate the entire thing in
the twenty minute drive to the house to pick up
the thing off Facebook.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yes, yes, that's a treat. That's a treat. You were
doing it. That's a treat. Good for you, Good for you.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Hey, listen, I've eaten I've eaten sweet and sour chicken
from Panda Express in the car, just digging into the
little thing with my hand. But I'm only using two fingers.
I'm only using the Thank you sir.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
And then are you just driving with one arm?

Speaker 8 (14:31):
No?

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Well, yes, one arm, one knee or do you like
oddly grip it with your pinkies.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
I hate having to do that. I hate that.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
When you're trying to hold the wheel and a burger
in the same hand.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
That sucks.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Not safe.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
But by the way, that's why, that's why I won't
get a.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Big mac to eat in the car. Wrong packaging, wrong packaging.

Speaker 6 (14:54):
Not so much what the kids are doing in the
back seat. But did you try to amend your ways
when the kids are watching you in the front seat?

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Oh, so that they wouldn't be distracted like when they
start driving?

Speaker 4 (15:08):
Yesah, Like did you try to not eat?

Speaker 2 (15:14):
No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Like I tried for a while to be better about
like using my phone, but then I would just tell
them like I'm just I'm getting typing in an address.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
It's important nowhere to go.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Do as I say, not as I do, it's mom.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, I think I tried that for a while, but yeah, no,
I wasn't like not with eating.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
Whenever, because when we drive, Lindsay drives, if we have
food or picked something up, I don't like the kids
seeing someone eat in front of the wheel or behind
the wheel. So I will always.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
I swear to God if you finish this sentence with
feed Lindsey, No, that's also a distraction and strange. I've
had Jackie do that before. She'll hold a burger up
to my mouth.

Speaker 9 (16:03):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
I thought you meant like she'll hand you something.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
No, like she'll feed me.

Speaker 7 (16:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
No, it's very nice. It's very nice, Elliot. The hut.

Speaker 6 (16:12):
No, So I will say, with the kids hopefully listening,
would you like me to drive? I feel like that
could be something that distracts us on the road. Oh,
and I say it loud because their heads are buried
in their devices.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
That let them stay there. They're not going to see anything.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, they're not going to care.

Speaker 6 (16:35):
Lindsey hates it, hates it, and then she goes, you
know what, I'll just eat it when we get home.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Right, I'm fine.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
I can't wait till your son starts driving and his
floorboard is monsters and zins.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
That's what my kid's cars are. Where am I going?
Line eight? Hi? Elliot in the morning, Elliot, what's up?

Speaker 4 (17:01):
How are you hey?

Speaker 2 (17:02):
What's going on? Dude?

Speaker 9 (17:05):
Really quickly? I keep a bunch of disposable ponchos in
my trunk and once or twice a week I go
to Sam's Club and get a rotisserie chicken them and
and you just you just put on the poncho and
then you know, none of the juices or anything get on.
You know.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Good good news for you coming in twenty twenty six,
the Elliott the Morning Burger towel.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
You'll be able to use that.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
I got to be honest, I've never tried rot I've
had I've eaten fried chicken in the but not a breast.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
How greasy is you're steering on you?

Speaker 1 (17:38):
No, Diane, I use my other hand. No, I'll do drumsticks.
I'll do the drumsticks, the uh, the wings, throw the
bones on your chest, the or out the window.