The Fist - The Power Trip After Party

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcometo the part of Raft Party podcast brought
you by Haven Poker where I'm gonnago right now and beat your ass playing
some poker. Yeah, but seeyou already have it installed. And that's
really the key there, Christopher,is you can't play Haven Poker h A
Y B I N if you don'tinstall it. Uh, download it today
from the app store. It's absolutelyfree Haven Poker. You can play heads

(00:22):
up poker against your friends, againstRandos, there's any tournaments. That's what
I would do. I would justget like six or eight of your friends
and say, hey, let's alldownload Haven Poker and play against each other.
If you don't have to play againstRandos, Ray, get your friends
play again your friend challenge your friends. Zach, you have friends, right,
I do? I do. Ihave a lot of friends. I
have like a four Do you havefour? Do they play Haven Poker?

(00:45):
Um? I think so? Whatdo you mean? You think? So?
You mean you have a keen idiotfriends? Download Haven Poker, play
them in poker. Are you betterat poker than them? Um? It
doesn't matter. These two beat me. That's the if you you can just
go a Haven ahead and have abunch of fun playing poker against your friends,
and mine is just meet Sauce one. I think, hang on,

(01:08):
I just had a son a bitch, suck it your shit together. Yeah,
is it meets aus one or justmeets us? I thought it was
just meets us. It's mine's cafancove looking for meets use right now and
I can't find you. Yeah,you can challenge us too when we're on
there. I'll play you guys oncein a while. Why not. I'll
play you right now, bitch.I'm gonna beat your ass. Beat your

(01:30):
ass, Sauce. Let me lookover your shoulder and do a play by
play without giving away. How doI give away? I can't. I
can't because then Chris would hear it. Man. That's what your name is,
meets us to word? What's ityou in the end and the tea.
By the way, if you downloadthe Haven Poker app and then uh
type in the promo code power Tripin the first forty eight hours and you

(01:53):
double your initial bankroll. So maybeyou put in the promo code power Trip,
your dumb ass friends don't, andthen you have twice a many chips
to start as them. That's right, but I would also tell them to
put in the power Trip as well. Well whatever, man, Yeah,
we'll play Randos right now, hereI go while we do this highly rated,
highly rated after party podcast right nowfor Haven Poker. I'm going to

(02:14):
go ahead and play Haven Poker andwe're gonna give the podcast people the exclusive.
So we're working on trying to getthe Scalar brothers into play Initials tomorrow.
Yes, and what's cool about itis it happened no pun intended,
Actually no, this would be punintended organic, yeah, for Initials.
Right. So there were a handfulof rubs that were telling the Scalar brothers
like, Hey, if you're intown for acme, why don't you just

(02:35):
go to cafe and play Initials.So the rubes were hammering them, and
then they tweeted back at some ofthe rubs going, yeah, we're around,
we could play, we could jumpinto caffeine hell yeah. And then
we reached out to them. Theysaid, let's make this work. How
do we make this work? Whendo we have to be there? Where
do we have to be So it'snot one hundred percent confirm, but it
looks like they both are interested incoming in for an hour and a half

(02:59):
maybe tomorrow and plain initials. That'sawesome, that'll be great. Those guys
are hilarious. They are very veryquick. Like the way they do it.
I like the way they do thecomedy. Yeah, they did that
ESPN show for a while with CheapGreat Cheap Seats. Was phenomenal show on
you porn. Well what was itcalled. It's called stick that here and
See Hot Feels. Oh yeah,it's a long title for a movie.
Yeah. One of the brothers seemedto like it more than the other seem

(03:20):
like it. I loved it.I loved it, and I called it
an ason the whole. I likethose guys. But if you gave me
a million dollars, if they walkin the room tomorrow, if you're like
million bucks, if you can tellus which one is which, or you
get killed if you get it wrong, I'd say them out. Yeah right,
it'd be fifty fifty. I don'tknow which one is which. I
just like them both. I'd sayI went either way with that, so
I'm gonna go for it. Isaw the spit last night on Instagram,

(03:44):
which was would you rather be handedten million dollars or play one hand of
black jack for ten billion dollars?What would you rather do? Oh?
God damn, that's a good question, brother, Thank you. Wow.
So you're either handed ten million oryou play a hand of black one hand.

(04:08):
So I think the house edge inblackjack is something like fifty two to
forty eight. But let's just makethe math. It's something like that.
So you have a fifty fifty chanceof getting clemmitted at ten billion. You
have a hired chats to that becauseyou're banging my dad ten billion or a
one hundred percent chance at ten million? You are correct? Man, Man,

(04:35):
that is very tough. Thank you, Zacha. What would you do?
I think the ten mill because takethe money, man, Yeah,
I mean that's a lot of money. I could live off of that for
a long time. You could.I could live off that forever. I
only got a few years left.Oh not for real, I could definitely
do. I would take the guaranteedmoney. There's not even a question.

(04:57):
I would take it, and Iwould walk away and feel good about it.
Core. I think it's because theten million is life changing as well.
Right, If it was something liketen thousand or a million, everybody,
I think we'd all flip a coinand go like, I want the
fifty fifty shot of a million,correct, but ten million could change your
life. Ten billion changes everybody youknows life. Yeah, man, I

(05:18):
don't know. That's really close.Yeah. Yeah. And the they did
it on the show or it waslike a I think it's a part of
a podcast or something. But Ijust saw like the thirty second clip and
the guy lost, but he said, yeah, I would. He said
I would do it. I woulddry for ten Yeah. Yeah. That's

(05:40):
why deal or no deal, likeand it's heyday was awesome because he'd have
people going, you know, it'dbe a decision between a penny and a
million dollars. You're just like,well, that was But that also was
the flaw of the game because outof the out of the twenty six cases,
and I love dealer deal, I'mnot ripping deal in a deal out

(06:01):
of the twenty six cases, towin the million, you really had to
do. I would argue two orthree things. The first thing, you
have to pick the right case right, so you have a one in twenty
six chance of picking the million.Then you have to basically go the other
twenty four cases without taking out eitherthe five hundred thousand or the seven fifty,

(06:26):
because if you if you take oneof those out as well, when
you get down to the end,if it's one hundred thousand dollars or a
million, So the offer is like, you know, somewhere in the middle,
so somewhere in the five hundred andfifty thousand dollars range, I take
the five fifty. I walk right. You have to have your safety net
be so close to the million thatyou can say to yourself, all right,

(06:48):
I have the half million, Ihave the million. If I go
for the million and get it wrong, I'm still walking with a half a
million dollars. I'm gonna be superhappy with that. Fucket, let's go
for it. Yeah, of course, So to your point, Zacho,
if you have a penny on theboard, twenty five thousand on the board,
and a million, you're walking right. You're gonna take the three hundred
thousand dollars off or whatever it is, and you're gonna walk. So it

(07:10):
was that's why they eventually had todo the whole million dollars challenge bit where
it was like, we have twelvecases that are a million, because that
was the only way they were gonnahave a chance at somebody truly having that
scenario play out where they had multiplemillion dollar cases. I don't know if
it ever happened the normal way.Obviously it's mathematically possible. I think it's

(07:32):
happened. Well. Obviously many havepicked the million dollar case. I think
there was one where a guy hewent for it and had the penny,
and then the other case had likeor not a penny, but like it
was like ten dollars, in theother case had a million. So I
don't know. It was a fungame. I kind of I missed the

(07:55):
drama a little bit, but Imissed when they would bring the family on
the stage about halfway through the game, and when they when Howie Mandel would
ask the family members for advice orwhat are you thinking over there? And
inevitably, like the player's aunts wouldalways step up and go twenty five thousand
dollars is a lot of money,but one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars

(08:18):
that's more. And I'm like,shit, would you just sit down,
hockey? Every every time the familymembers advice was pointless? Yeah, yeah,
listen you pointless, bitchy. Howgreat would it have been of how
he just said that. Hockey says, listen, you pointless bitch, as
he's wearing, let's go girls,teacher. Well, I don't, I

(08:39):
don't. Not every lady is apointless bitch. That's a lot of money,
billy, billy, think about it. No, that's a lot of
money. That's not help. Yeah, that's not I would want. If
I got to invite anybody, Iwould want. I would want somebody that
understood the math right, understood completely, could figure out the of Like,

(09:01):
all right, if that one getsknocked out, your probably your offer is
probably gonna be you know, seventythree thousand. If you knocked this one
out, it's gonna be one hundredand thirty. Give me the game theory
saver metrics numbers on what ye isthe loss if I picked the wrong case,
and then make your choice accordingly yourgrandmother, grandpa crowd, Yeah,

(09:22):
don't be gross. This Sauce's grandmotherthat never took another low. Why is
that is my grandma? I'll takeyour fishing fair, good point. Give
the dog a bone. Is thatis that considered taking another lover? I
would argue it is getting fisted.Yeah, I would say that in a
lot of ways. That's that's evenworse, right, Hawk, I need

(09:46):
you to be crasp for a second, ora and be honest for once in
your gd, like could you havecould you have fisted silly putty? God?
There is no doubt, there's azero out. First of all,
my hands aren't very big. Second, call her thing he was huge.

(10:09):
Like for example, let's flip it. I know your grandmother took lovers.
Yeah, but if you met atwenty seven year old that said I'm a
virgin, you know I'm waiting tilli'm married. But you found out she'd
been fisted by fifteen different people,I'd go, you're not a virgin.
No, that's not even cloth usesa puppet. Yeah, I'd rather have
you have actual sex with twenty threepeople as opposed to getting Yeah, get

(10:31):
some skills, get fisted by fifteen. What if you meet a girl she's
like, I'm a complete version.I'm saving it for but my asshole's grand
Central station exactly, I'd say,Okay, fine, you for ten million
dollars, you have to either playa band of blackjack or you have to
I'm gonna pay who trained a bandof black dumb Quit taking hits your stupid

(10:56):
son of a band. You don'tfuck Okay, what now you have?
Okay, I have to fist hisgrandma. I only heard half of it.
I accept. So what's the billiondollars? Now it's a billion,
ten billions and billion dollars man thetimes, or you have to be fisted.

(11:16):
What do you choose? Say itagain, I don't understand this question
at all. You're really bad atthat. If you lose the hand of
black jack, nothing happened billion dollars. But if but if you get fisted,
you're guaranteed if you get fisted.Okay, well that makes more sense,
not getting fisted. But by theway, thank you Zach for for
interpreting, because basically, what Saucejust said his for ten billion dollars,

(11:37):
would you rather play a hand ofblack jack or get fisted? You had
no consequence for winning hand jack.It was just I get to play a
hand blackack and ten millions. Yeah, you faithfully you were here to help.
Normally I'm good at that, butI'm like, I don't understand this

(11:58):
question. There's nothing more off puttingthan fifteen fifteen is disgusting? Really is?
Oh my god, it's worth tenbill right, I mean, you
guys are all going right. Let'ssay that you sauce yea ten million dollars
ten million? You have to getfisted, sure in front of your mom

(12:20):
and she has no idea why it'shappening. For ten billion dollars, Yeah,
I'm Christmas at your father's funeral.Well, it won't be hokus.
He'll be fist father. Don't justsay yes or no. Don't ask no

(12:43):
questions. Just ask yes, yesor no, and that's it. No
other commentary. Okay, for tenbillion with a bee, not million?
Ten billion dollars? Would you getfisted? If I could choose the person
who fisted you, yes or no? Ten billion dollars question? Uh,

(13:03):
I'm gonna say no because you're gonnachoose Thanos or the Hulk. I was
gonna choose under the Giant. Yeahno, no, ten ten billion under
the giant billion. No, myasshole would be routed. It wouldn't.
It would look like it would likea fucking blow fish. You can rebuild

(13:26):
my asshole. You can't look likethe Holland tunnels. Yeah it would.
Okay, Yeah, that's okay.Here's for ten billion dollars. Give it
here you have to be fisted liveon a webcam. Okay, so you
don't know who's watching, Yeah,but it is everybody you were It's fifty

(13:48):
percent of the people you're related to. Would you watch it or would you
watch it? Would do it?I'm not gonna talk you. Uh yeah
again. Ten billion is enough tofeel all wounds except maybe your asshole.
Yeah. I mean I do itfor free all time. Why wouldn't I
let you get me money for youknow, people always accuse us of not

(14:09):
prepping for this podcast. When Iwatched it, I did not think we
were gonna do fifteen minutes of fifteenhypotheticals. But here we are. Have
you ever fisted somebody? Zach God, whenever you had? We did this
last week's sauce. Do it again, Corey. Have you ever fisted?
Absolutely not, That's what you do, Zach. When the truth is no,

(14:30):
you don't go ask it again andI'll be Zach Corey. Have you
ever fisted anyone? Um? No, you sound like that podcast that's not
even close to Hawk. Have youever fisted anyone? Fu? Yeah you
really? No? No, No, I haven't. I would. I

(14:54):
mean no offense being able to haveyour vagina or your asshole fisted. Yeah,
means that thing is a fucking atrust you motherfucker. I mean that
ducking you piece of shit. Well, I've sent me pictures a turds bigger
than a fist come out of thatbutt. Holy year. All right,
I've been taking a lot of curlydumps, like cutting open a vein.

(15:20):
All right, now, my guyCollins, right now, I am killing
you. I got three fives.If the fucking five eat that shit.
I pushed it a little bit right, a little right. He's fine,
he's fine. It's not in thewater, he's fine. Oh I am
kicking smass m here. So he'sgonna win the whole thing. You guys

(15:45):
know who is Colin Morica? Zach. If the only thing you could do
with till Timothy shallow May was getfisted, would you yeah? Wow?
See see that's how you answer immediately, honestly, you sane fist you yeah
yeah? Would you let Harry Stylesyeah, Jesus yeah. Would you like

(16:08):
Jesus fisting? Oh no from bigLebowski. I don't know, man,
I don't know why you guys areobsessed with fisting. You brought it up.
Somebody said Cranepie this morning. Isthere anything grosser than that dude off
the air? I gotta know,can't say that. It's not even that

(16:30):
bad. It's just we just don'tneed to reveal all these seekers about Tommy.
I'm not a parents. Yeah,well I think his mom texted him
after that one. This one's actuallycame. It's just like, Tommy,
you gotta keep that to yourself.But that's not what Tommy said. And
I'm not in no way like rippinganybody. But what Tommy said is something
that like something somebody would say inan AA meeting where the people at A

(16:55):
would go wow, like wow,you can't control it? Like wow,
that's like that's a story at AAwhere alcoholics would go Jesus Christ, like
they're pretty horny guys we work with. Ben was like he was he was
stunned by it. He was likehuh why and he just he Tommy can't

(17:17):
control himself. Did Rosie say nbd? Rosie Rosie started fifting himself. That's
gross, You're gross. He tookit too far. Man. I got
a shit hand here, guy,Yeah, I got an eight and a
six pre flop. What's the boardhere? What do you got and there's
a five of two and two aceson the flop on the board, and

(17:40):
I got a six and eight.That's that's there. You're drawn dead.
Yeah, fold your ass. You'replaying a Rubertis. I'm random. I
don't know who has Justin Thomas mademassive birdie. He just made a massive,
fucking disgusting shithole. He's not wrong. Diddy sauce for ten billion dollars,

(18:07):
that's a lot of money. Wouldyou rather get fisted or play five
spins? Max bet on a slotmachine? So if I win, like,
if I match through the whole hypotheticalwin, No, would you rather
play a slot machine or get fisted? I'd rather play That's the right answer.

(18:29):
I love slot machine. How manyfingers could I get inside your butthole?
It was funny about this too,about the twenty minutes of fisting talk
is Um. We were told thelast time we did the podcast before we
threw a fit and quit for sixmonths, that there were some sponsors that
were struggling with the quote blue material, that they liked the show but weren't

(18:55):
supercompetent putting their brand their brand onthis product. I wonder why there's gotta
be somebody out there that goes,no, this is what I want to
be a part of. Right,Well, Haven Haven does. But Haven
gets it. We're not saying like, if you play Haven poker, you're
gonna get fisted. We're just saying, poker kicks ass completely, completely,

(19:18):
aside from the rockey. But it'sso much fun. He's been playing it
the whole time, whole twenty minutes. Yeah, he's playing it, right,
he can multitask. You're watching thePGA Championship and talking about Haven Poker
and next guy one hand in hispocket. How about the hypocrisy of Abbott
telling me the one time I can'twatch golf. Yeah, but at noon

(19:41):
today, what will Rosie? Andof course ye watching and Barrero and Gersey
were watching the Twins game last night. I think it's more just an indication
he doesn't believe you are capable ofmulti tasking. And he's not wrong.
But either is common true? Eitheris Rosie? Well, very true.

(20:02):
Here's your guy, here's my guy. Come on, stick it with him
like five feet let's go away fromboy. Sorry, okay, he cain't
get a three put? Parts arefine? Oh that's a long way.
That's a long put. He mightchip from there. No, boy,
all right, so my guys offto a slow start, right, he's
got like what he got seventy oneholes after this, he's fine. Yeah,

(20:25):
if you joined the fucking golf teamwhen you were in fucking third grade,
yeah, you fucking think you'd beany good at golf now? Yeah,
And I will admit I've gotten Peoplealways say that when you play golf,
the one thing about golf, andit's like anything you have to you
have to do it for an excitedperiod of time. I've gotten pretty decent
at golf because I've played it forsix straight years now. But if I

(20:48):
think I played it in third gradeand stuck to it, I bet no,
But I would. I would betI would be an under five handicap.
That's what I bet. I'm anineteen. Golf was the best sport
to play in high school because youget to miss so much school. Yes,
the golf guys always like they leavefour hours, right, Yeah,

(21:11):
you have to leave class like everyday twelve to thirty one o'clock. So
have fun with your six hour classyou're a high school student. But that
was the best sport. Oh yeah, I never thought about that. I
guess. Yeah, I don't know. I always fund to skip school.
I liked football, I liked wrestling, that wasn't any good at it.
Yeah, running track track was funbecause you always got to meet babes from

(21:33):
other schools. I threw shot puttinghigh school, junior and senior year.
Did you practice by just lifting upthe plate at the buffet? Yeah?
Lifting that fucking head up off thepillow every morning? How much? How
long is this podcast? Not longenough? No? No, no,
no, we no, we gotplenty of time. We're not being me.

(21:57):
We're just saying you what you shouldhave been a world class shot putter.
You should have been a world classfister. Why is that because your
assholes fist? I don't know.Also, not not the Fister the fifty
like think if that's your thing.Remember we were talking off the air earlier

(22:18):
about like how you had the onerumor. I think you were talking off
the air about people, and likeyou get one in high school to school
at six. Yeah, I thinkif you were known as the Fister fifties,
the one you don't want to be. Yeah, the Fisters the winner
in that group? Right, it'salso my favorite who all right? They

(22:41):
we ever trying to hire you tomodel for fucking globes? Why is such
a sword? Do you still getresidual checks for what? Uh? Peewee's
Playhouse? Were you? Weren't you? Globe? Often you get your stomach
pump because it's full. Wonder whyI do? I wonder why no nobody

(23:06):
will sponsor this podcast on us Areyou talking to because one of us the
answers yes, thanks, Completely separatefrom what we just discussed. Haven Poker
Kicks ass played amongst your friends.Downloaded today Haven Poker on the old app
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