Treasured Not Tolerated

Dave reflects on a missed opportunity, we talk living with a partner, and Dancing with the Stars!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was going to share this story once I found
the audio, but I'm gonna go ahead and share it anyway.
I heard the audio, but I can't find it, although
I could if I put in more effort. So here's
the story. There is a podcast called Chachi Loves Everyone
and it is Chachi is a former radio guy. And

(00:20):
I don't know Chachi, but he interviews people that have been, like,
you know, amazing on the on the radio and had
amazing radio careers and is called Chachi Loves Everybody. So
there's a friend of mine who works in Las Vegas.
His name is Chet Chet Buchanan. Chet and I've known
each other for a long long time, and he does
the morning show on k l UC. So he's interviewing

(00:43):
with Chachi and I'm listening because I was curious, like
chet story. And Chet is talking about those you know,
career journeys and back and forth between the city and
this city. And he said, you know when when Rick D's.
Do you guys know the name Rick D's Yes.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, okay, only because you guys talk about it, but
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Rick Dy's is a legendary DJ in Los Angeles, and
he was, you know, he he's been in movies. He
had his own late night talk show for a while,
and Rick Dy's was a legend in LA radio and
everybody all over the country knew him. And he does
the Rich Dy's Weekly Top forties. Still, so Rick Dy's
left the radio station. Ryan Seacrest took over for him. Okay,

(01:24):
about fifteen to twenty years ago. I'm listening to this podcast.
I'm hearing the story, and this is the part that
made me go, what the f chat was talking about? How? Yeah,
when Rick Dy's left this radio station, Kiss FM in
Los Angeles, they were throwing around names to replace Rick

(01:45):
Dy's and he said, yeah, They're thrown around names like
Mojo and Detroit, Dave Ryan in Minneapolis. That was the
first time I'd never heard ever, yeah, that I had
been considered to replace Rick D's. And I don't know
how far down the list they got. They never called me.

(02:09):
I do worry though, that they called. If this was
fifteen or so years ago, fifteen or twenty years ago,
I worry that they called and said, Hey, can we
talk to Dave about doing the morning show in Los Angeles.
And at the time there were people here in management
who would have said no, absolutely not. We're not letting
Dave go, which to me is just fucking pisses me off.

(02:31):
Would you have gone, I would have absolutely considered it,
for sure, because that's kind of like, well, Bailey, you
know you're doing You're doing Fiddler on the Roof in
Cross Community Players, but Broadway called, yeah, and they want
Bailey to star as who.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
The Fiddler on the road the Fiddler, yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
And so and then Cross Community Players. Not dissing them,
I'm using them as an example. Love those guys. And
they said, you know what, No, Bailey is needed here.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
I see.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
The right answer would have been, holy shit, this is
a huge thing for Bailey. I wish that, you know.
I mean, yes, absolutely call Bailey. This is her break
of a lifetime. And don't get me wrong, I've been
very happy here. But if I was considered for that,
I know one or two people in particular, if they
would have called that, they would have said, hmm, no,

(03:20):
we got to keep Dave here. Yeah, and that, in
the words of Juanita, pisses me the chef. That shit
pisses me the fuck off.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, except you can never really know because maybe they
didn't call it.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Well, I could I could get a hold of Chat
and see what he knows about this true. So anyway,
if you want to hear it to know that I'm
not making this up. The podcast is called Chachi Loves
Everyone and or Everybody one or the other, and look
for the Chet Buchanan episode.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
So I was gonna say, I was surprised you haven't
already messaged Chat to.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Be like, tell me, I don't have his email and
I don't have his phone number.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'd probably have to find him on Facebook Messenger.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, so I would. If I would have that, I've
I'm like, yo, tell me more Hello.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
I was. I was so inspired by Chet because Chet
is I've known him forever and I knew him when
he was like you know, you know, a night guy
at a top forty station. Big deal. But Chet works
in Las Vegas. He's huge out there. He does like
the world's largest toy drive in twenty five years, they've
raised sixty five million dollars in toys. Wow, sixty five

(04:25):
million a lot in toys and bicycles. And he also
does like the voice for the WNBA team. He does
courtside for the nbaight. He does this for the Raiders.
He does this and this in NASCAR, and he's just
one of those very involved guys, and I'm like, wow,
it's really inspirational to think of like what he has
done and how little, by comparison, I have done. Oh

(04:49):
stop it, Oh what have I done, Jenny? What have
I done lately?

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Well? I mean, okay, lately, I was going to go
in the course of your career, not maybe just lately lately. Yeah,
I mean, you helped raise a ton of money for
Children's Minnesota every year on their Give to the Kids Day.
I think that's what it's called. We have Christmas Bush
coming up. I feel like you sell yourself short about
what you do do and I I know, but I

(05:15):
also think that what you're really good at too, is
like if something big happens in the community, you know
you know how to handle it, Like whether it is
raising money or if it's just speaking on it on
the radio.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Like George Floyd or his school shooting or whatever.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, like that stuff is really important. It doesn't always
have to be like you raised a million dollars, which
would be great, but like I feel like you don't
understand the impact that you have sometimes and.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Maybe maybe none of us ever do. He's like, you know,
mom doesn't feel appreciated. Mom doesn't feel I heard a
really interesting quote last night. Let me see if I
can find it on my phone. I was listening to
Bobby Bones. You know who Bobby Bones is.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yes, he won Dancing with the Stars.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
He won Dancing with the Stars, and that is what
he is talking about in this quote. But I don't
I'll just okay, it's go where don't go where you
are tolerated, go where you are treasured. And he was
talking about being on Dancing with the Stars. And he
won Dancing with the Stars. And one of the reasons

(06:14):
he won was because his loyal, loyal radio audience voted
for him to win. It's a viewer based vote thing,
I believe. And I love Bobby. He's you know, I
wouldn't say he's a good friend, but Bobby and I
know each other and and I love the guy. Super
successful and talented. So he went on Dancing with the Stars.
And then that was what five ish seven is years ago.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's been a while, it's been a hot minute.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
And so Tom Berger on the former former host, was
being interviewed and said, you know, one of the things
I couldn't believe was freaking Bobby Bones winning. He wasn't good,
he wasn't that good of a dancer. Bobby Bone should
not have won. And Bobby Bones was like, that really hurts.
He mailed his disco ball trophy back to ABC and said,
screw you guys, keep this. And he said, I went

(06:59):
there with I was the only person with no previous
dance training. I worked my butt off. I was the
only contestant that also had a full time job during
the eight weeks of Dancing with the Stars or whatever.
And he said, and I won. I won, fair and square.
And was I the best answer? I don't know, but

(07:19):
I worked my ass off and I feel and so
he said, and I thought it was really true. And
I bring this full circle to you. For a relationship
or a job or a committee that you're on, go
where you are treasured, not tolerated, And I think that
applies to so many things. Sometimes I'll be honest with you,
I feel tolerated here at the radio station.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
And I don't know whether we get that idea sometimes,
don't we, Jenny, Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Think radio has changed a lot in the last handful
of years. So I feel like I don't necessarily blame
anyone higher up. I blame the lack of bodies that
are here to work nowadays, everyone works about five jobs.
So but I don't understand. I do feel, yes, like

(08:06):
I do think that we do do. I'm really saying
that a lot today. We do a lot. Here, you
do a lot, Dave. I mean you're constantly coming up
with different promotions and ideas and those usually fall flat,
like they get sent in an email and then you know,
will follow up and be like, where's it at?

Speaker 1 (08:21):
We never hear anything again.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, but I also sometimes just like can't blame the
people who are the next step of that process because
that person's working like an extra four jobs now, and like,
how are they supposed to make every single thing happen?
You know?

Speaker 1 (08:36):
So yeah, yeah, okay, I don't know. But the reason
I wanted to bring that up is because I thought
it was interesting the whole Ryan Seacrest, Rick Dy's thing
and then the Bobby Bones thing. Work or be where
you are treasured not tolerated, And I really think that
can apply to a relationship too, because if you feel tolerated,

(08:57):
like you don't feel treasured, then that's not a good relationship. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
My my ex boyfriend said that kind of of me.
He was like, I don't know if you actually enjoy
being around me or if you just kind of like
tolerate my existence.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
And I'm like, yep, that's valid, and.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
That was the true story though, right.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
What's that true story?

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yep. I think also, though, that you should communicate in
your relationship if you're feeling taken for granted, because I
do think that that's also an issue. Like if you're
holding some kind of resentment towards your partner but your
partner doesn't even fucking know, yeah, then like what are
you supposed to do about it?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah? That's fine.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
So I think there's two sides to that statement, all right.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Moving on to something totally different, Madeline writes in Hello Best,
He's twenty here, twenty year listener here, I had to
write in the strangest thing happened to me. I was
in line at my local co op grocery store in Burnsville,
and imagine, to my surprise, I heard a familiar voice.
I looked up at it was Gary Spivey. What I
seriously cannot believe it. Of all the places and all

(09:55):
the people to see on a Wednesday afternoon.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
Ha ha.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Anyway, I thought you guys would think it was funny.
Had to share with y'all. Love you guys. Photo attached.
And there is Gary.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Oh my gosh, I gotta come look up, you can't
miss it.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Unmistakable is giant, giant white afro wig.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
He's still wearing the get up.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
I've never in my life seeing Gary in twenty five
thirty years, not in his get.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Up, I mean. And he's out and about like at
a grocery sea.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
He loves the attention. He wow loves the attention. He
goes through the airport and people think that he's dressed
in a halloween costume. That is how he flies. People
will come up and go, are you somebody important? Or
why are you dressed like that? Gary wears all white,
including head to toe. He wears white glasses, and he
wears a bright white afro giant wig which has gotten

(10:39):
bigger and bigger over.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
The years, and some kind of like medallion necklace half
the time too. Yes, And my next question is a
follow up, do you think you can smell him or
see him first? Because the man also has a strong scent.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I just it's a good smell.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Though, no, it's a good smell. Sorry, I should have
clarified that. I just smell my headphones because he used
them when he was in a couple of weeks ago,
and they still smell like Gary in a good way,
but like in a nostroll and like cologne smell.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
And I'm like, yes, all right, yeah, I wish I
could show you that picture, but I mean just Gary
was shopping at a Whole Food. So next one, Lauren
writes in hey there, daily listener of both the show
and the Minnesota Goodbye, thank you. First time writing in,
I got to cover the mandatory. You all are awesome,
which we never get tired of hearing. This is where

(11:27):
we're treasured, not tolerated. Yeah, I think sometimes, yeah we do.
We feel appreciated, maybe not treasured, but appreciated, and we
love that, just like you love a feeling appreciated. You're
also entertaining, making my day and so many others brighter.
Thank you. The other day, somebody emailed in about things
you should discuss before moving in with your partner. Funny thing,

(11:48):
funny timing. Because my boyfriend and I has signed our
first lease together. Do you have any advice on things
you must discuss before moving in together or things you
have learned from living with a partner. Thanks again for
sharing your lives with us and forming a community of listeners.
I am happy to be a part of it. Well,
I'm happy you are, and that is from Lauren. Jenny
will start with you. But we've all got stories.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
I don't know if this was from your list or
if I saw this on Instagram, because this would totally
be in my feed, but like, what's your definition of clean?
Was that on your list?

Speaker 1 (12:17):
Yes? It was? Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
I think that that's very important because while the last
person I was living with was a decently clean person,
his version of clean was very different than mine, and
I was a little crazy about it. So like he
always claimed that he cleaned all the time, but it
wasn't like super clean to me, So it didn't feel
like he cleaned. Yeah, And I'm like, I don't think
you do, not compared to what I do. So that

(12:40):
was like a little bit of an argument. I would
say that. And then I also think that you once
you like are actually living together, there are going to
be little things that happen that you're just not going
to see eye to eye on. I could not, for
the life of me, get that guy to turn lights off.
It bugged the shit out of me because.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
I remember you saying that my mom growing.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Up would be like we'd be far in the basement.
She'd be standing next to a light switch and be like,
get up here right now and turn this light off.
That was how I was raised, saying, I am that person,
and I just had to give up on that. I
had to give up on the fight that like if
I walked downstairs and the lights were on, that was
like it like and he wasn't down there, and so
you just have to really figure out certain things that

(13:21):
you have to let go.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
I think everyone should have their own space.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
That was what was really hard for me because my
I had like a living boyfriend for like three years
and he was always there, and I think it's a
weird conversation to have, like, Hey, just just wondering how
often are you going to be here? Because it's not
that like I wouldn't want him around, but when you're
around all of the time, you have zero privacy to
yourself or anything. So it was always like a win

(13:47):
when I could have any space to myself and in
a small space because we had seven hundred square foot apartment.
We're never alone ever, so I would come home and
just take a nap because I wanted to.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Get away away. What's funny is we have you know,
it's a large home. We had two kids, we got
five bedrooms. We don't need that space anymore. But we
spend all of our time in the same room. That's
about the size of this studio, and that is when
I come home, that's where she is, or she might
be in the kitchen. But I also have my office

(14:18):
which is just around the corner. But we spend ninety
percent or more of our time in the same room.
I would say mine is learn how you fight, because
some people they throw things and they get angry and
they change into doctor Jekyl and mister Hyde. Yeah, and
I think you got to learn how each other fights.

(14:40):
And that might not be something that you learn until
you move in. You know, some people just like give
each other the silent treatment and then make up later
in the day. But different philosophies on fighting. I like,
I don't know. I've been with partners who scream and
yell and accuse and thump you in the chest with
their finger. And then Susan is a very calm fighter.

(15:03):
But yeah, learn how you fight. But I like the
clean one. That's a good one.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
I think also like maybe just know I'm getting deep
in the therapy you talk here, but maybe know how
like that person was raised also because I think that
that hit plays a huge role in how you fight.
So like I shut down when I fight because like
I watched my parents fight all the time, and it's
scarred the shit out of me. And so I shut

(15:27):
down and I need like a day to like escape
and come back and like talk about it. Yeah, and
that frustrates some people. They just want to like get
right into it. But but then I think that some
people get right into it and then they say things
they don't mean because they don't think rationally. Yeah, and
that's also not healthy. So just like know that like
the way people fight usually comes from how they were raised.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Right, I think that's probably true. Yeah, my mom and
dad did not. They would argue sometimes, but they did
not yell and scream and cry. That was just not
their thing. All right, last email, and we're gonna wrap
things up here. This is from hold On. I just
read that one. This is why I delete it after
I read it, so I won't read it again. This
is just interesting. Samantha writes in and says, hello, I

(16:10):
was looking for the podcast for November twelfth, which was yesterday.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
I figured it out.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
If somebody's saying it's not working, we got a new
podcast like uploader system thing platform, So it's on there now.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Okay, all right, good? She said. She found out that
some of the backlog of the podcasts were added back
to the Apple podcast. I was so happy I had
an additional thirty five ish podcast to listen to. Wow,
the Minnesota Goodbye is my favorite podcast, as I can
throw it on if I miss and if I miss
it a piece, it's no big deal because the topic

(16:42):
is ever changing. It's weird hearing Dave and fallon chat again.
I'll bet it is. Have a great week. Shout out
to myself turning twenty six in a few days. That
is from Samantha. Samantha, I'm so glad that at such
a young age that you are here. I really appreciate that.
You know, there's a lot of twenty six year olds
that don't listen to the radio, and I think that
they're missing out. I really do, because they're so buried

(17:05):
in Instagram and Spotify, which, okay, I get it, but
you don't have that connection. And I think sometimes we're
lonely and we need a steady, reliable connection with people.
I'll go back many, many many years when Okay, this
is going to make me sound old, I don't care.
Johnny Carson was a comfort food wherever you were. Johnny

(17:30):
Carson is back when there's only three channels. Johnny Carson.
If you were in Cleveland on a business trip, if
you were Grandma's house in Fort Worth late at night,
you could turn on Johnny Carson. There. He was a
steady presence in your life. And I think that's kind
of what radio does in a totally different way. We
get much more personal than a talk show host, and
we have much more time. But I think that it

(17:52):
is this connection of comfort that when you hear these
four voices on the radio, it's just comforting. Yeah, there's
just something to it. And I don't think any other medium.
I like to say, Spotify can't, Katie Wbh, and neither
can Instagram, because you're really not hearing real people, You're

(18:14):
hearing a polished video version of people. Yeah, does that
make sense.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
No, I agree, because I obviously listened to this station
when I was growing up my whole life. And then
I remember like, okay, you guys be done at ten.
And then I looked into other radio shows that were
similar that I could listen to in my car because
I just wanted to have this show all day. And
so I was like, Okay, where else can I listen
to fun talk radio and pretend I have friends in
my car because I'm in my car all the time.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
So it w worked.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Out, and I totally get that, and I think that
people find a companionship here on the radio. All right,
that's going to do it for the Minnesota Goodbye. I'd
be curious to know what do you like about the
Minnesota Goodbye? Maybe take a second and dash off a
couple of lines. Why do you like it? Because people
really seem to like it, And I don't know why.
I think it's because we're really We can slow down

(19:00):
and we're not on a deadline, and we don't have
to play commercials or say every thirty minutes is a
Sabrina Carpenter keyword, and we just get to be more
are real and we're real on the radio. But what
do you what do you like about the Minnesota Goodbye?

Speaker 4 (19:14):
We accept constructive feedback as well, and say the Minnesota Goodbye.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Absolutely give us what you like about it and what
you don't like, what you don't want to and you
can be blunt. Don't hurt anybody's feelings if you okay,
I tell you what we are people. If you want
to say I don't want to hear Dave talk so much,
I want to hear more of Jenny and Bailey, it's
not going to hurt my feelings. But if you say
something like you know, that's hurtful, Like maybe every time
one Needa comes on, you're like, oh, she's mouthy, Well

(19:42):
then go ahead and let me know. I just won't
let one need to know, right, Okay, but I actually.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Well, first of all, healthy, all right, Well, she.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Is mouth and that's what I love about Wanita is
because she does She does not have any is filter.
But she doesn't have an agenda. She is not here
to be popular, she is not here to be paid.
She's just Juanita, and I love her. I think everybody
should have a friend like Juanita. That's like Dave, that's
fucked up, Dave, You're pissing me the fuck off. All right,

(20:15):
send that email whatever you want to talk about, what
you like, what you don't like about the Minnesota Goodbye,
or anything else you want to bring up to Ryan
Show at KDWB dot com