June 14, 2025 • 36 mins
We've got some great show clips for you for the second week of June! Enjoy!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Favorite part of the show is when Dave was exhaling
sighing heavily. Okay, so it's had a vulnerability. So we
you know, we tell you a lot of things on
the show. You've learned everything from like Jenny's breakup to
Bailey's secret that she won't tell us what it is
to vaunt just existing existing, there's a big secret to that.
So when we do have a vulnerability, we each have
(00:28):
to come up with something we've never talked about in
the show that's like a kind of a vulnerable moment.
And so mine goes back to a radio station trip
to Mexico, probably seven or eight years ago. We took
a bunch of listeners down to Mexico and a bunch
of people came along with us, and some were friends
of other people on the show. And I'm not going
to name any names because they still live here in town.
(00:50):
But you know me, I'm kind of like socially awkward,
and you know, like I like hanging around with people,
but I get exhausted after a little you know, like
an hour or so, and I'm never like the life
of the party. I'm always kind of like, yeah, what
do you guys want to do okay, cool, I can
hold a conversation. I'm not horribly awkward. I mean, we
went to dinner the other day, and I'm not horribly
awkward to be around. But I'm not a Bailey and
(01:12):
I'm not a Jenny, and so I'm kind of like,
all right, So we're sitting in the lobby of this
hotel and there's probably about ten of us from the
radio station, and Fallon and Steve and some people that
somebody brought along and the engineer and Jeff and whatever,
and we're sitting around and we're kind of like having
a good time. And Susan and I are there, and I,
(01:35):
being socially awkward and dumb, I pulled out a game.
I had a little game, like at one of those
card games, like Cards against Humanity or something like that.
And I pulled out a game and I said, Hey,
you guys want to play a game. And this woman
who is not part of the station, and if she's listening,
she knows exactly who she is. She's very so she's
(02:00):
the life of the party. She's giggly, funny, fun whatever.
I pull out a game and I'm like, hey, you
guys want to play a game? And she goes, ah,
we're not playing an FN game, We're not boy Scouts.
And I felt so stupid and so small and so
(02:22):
incompetent because that was my attempt. I am gonna be
a little emotional. That was my attempt to bring some
dave into this little gathering. And can you imagine how
I felt when I tried to bring some of me
and was shot down so brutally in front of everybody.
(02:44):
We're not playing a game, we're not ef and boy scouts.
And I left. I got up and I'm like, I'm
not gonna sit here feeling like this. So I got
up and I left. I went to my room and
I I don't know what I did, but it was awful. Yeah,
(03:06):
And it's one of those things that reinforces, like if
you're if you are short, and you know you're short,
and then here comes some doughhead who's like, well, if
you weren't so short, it's just a reminder of something
that you're not possessing.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But it's also your personality too, So I honestly think
it's like worse than like somebody pointing out that you're short,
because that's a fact, but if it's your personality and
you're just trying to connect with other people, and they say, well,
the way that you're trying to connect with other people
is stupid, and I think what you're into is dumb, Like, well,
but this is like who I am, Like that's like
(03:43):
the fabric of your person.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And honestly, thank you. And that's one of the things
that I don't really go out with groups because I
just it's just not my thing. Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I have a couple of questions not to take away
from your experience, because I feel very very bad for you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That was so wrong. Was this person drunk because you
were in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They were a little bit drunk, but not so drunk
that they should have you know.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And regardless, doesn't matter, Like you don't say things like that.
And the other question was like, did you know each
other well enough for them to like even even if
they were very joking about it and didn't mean it
in a mean way?
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Whatsoever? Did you know this person more a.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Little less than I know Tina for example, So not
really well but sort of.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So definitely inappropriate because it's like I'm trying to like
put myself in the position of like, did I make
a dumb joke one time and hurt someone's feelings like
you don't need it in the moment, but still regardless
that person is not very kind for doing that. Like
that is I don't know, It's like you got to
(04:51):
keep your thoughts to yourself sometimes even if you like.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Feel like, oh god, I don't want to play a game.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And that was probably the attitude of the of the
group was like we're not gonna play a game. But
I thought, okay, well I'm going to try to contribute
to something.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah, I would just try and humor you in general, but.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Like I do, we talk a lot about like people
who think that they're being funny, and I think a
lot of people try and be like sarcastic and snotty
because they think it's funny or they'll think that they're.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
It's really it's actually mean, it's actually me. I have
a family member that's like that.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Right, And I think there's a lot of people who
do that where they'll say like, oh, I'm going to
say this snippy thing and it's going to be funny,
even though like because I'm relatable because I'm saying this
like snippy thing, but it's no, you're coming off across
across as mean period. That was a mean thing for
her to say, and you are valid in your emotions
to be upset about it, and I would be upset.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
And it still comes back to me once in a while.
I don't think about it a lot because I'm pretty
comfortable with who I am, but it definitely reminded me
of who I am not, and that is like I
am not the social leader of any group of people.
That's what sucks. I think there's two layers to it.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
The fact that it was, hey, do you want to
see you know this thing that I love? That's your personality.
But also, let's just say you were just trying to
join the conversation that we're already having. You were probably
in your head about like how do I walk into
this situation? And it took a lot of courage for
you to do that. So even if you just walked
in and said hi, if she shut you down, I
would have been like, well damn, Like, oh my gosh,
now I feel so little.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
They think I'm stupid just for saying hi.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
And we talk also a lot about you know, how
you think people might be looking at you in the gym,
or if you're not sitting and talking at a dinner table,
and it takes a lot of courage to, you know,
have the confidence to be like, I'm going to assert myself,
or just not even assert myself, just be so I'm
sorry that you, you know, were literally just being and
that wasn't good enough for that person.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Could you say again what she said to you. She's
just tuning in.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
She said, so okay. So just to set it up again,
we were at this big radio station gathering in Mexico,
big station trip. We flew a bunch of listeners down
Waite a great time, and there was one night where
we were all with the station, some people that somebody
had brought along and we were all sitting in the
lobby around a big square table on couches and we're
all having a good time. And I had brought a
game and I think it might have been Cards against Humanity,
(07:06):
but it might have been something else. And I brought
it down and I said, hey, you guys want to
play this, and one of these very very socially adept
people said, we're not playing a blancin game. We're not
blank and boy scouts, and I was crushed. So you
wanted a vulnerable moment.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
There's your story, and you didn't say anything back to her.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
No, I got up and left. I sat there like
show for a minute, and I'm like, I'm not going
to sit here and feel that for the rest of
the night.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Did anyone else hear this?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Like, did I anyte everybody heard everybody heard it.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Nobody was like.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Word, did I tell you? Who was very nice? And
this was almost made it a little bit worse. Was
the engineer Jeff. He goes, I'll play a game with you, Dave,
and I felt he meant so, well, no.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
But it makes it worse.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But it kind of made it worse, Like I feel
sorry for you, Dave, I'll play a game with you.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Okay, Well, buddy, I'll play with you.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Can we move on?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Would you want to hear some text messages?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and then we'll do the weekend winner
in a second. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Someone says, Dave, I'm sorry that happened. I can relate
as a socially awkward person, sending you virtual hugs.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Someone said you should have said clearly you're not lady boy.
Scouts are friendly and kind. Someone else says, oh, she
was so rude. I think I would have been It
would have been fun to play a game with y'all
while we were just chilling. All right, Karen, I don't
see you coming up with anything to do.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I feel, yeah, this one's it's not justified. But someone
did text.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I have a friend who hates games, especially when alcohol's involved,
because she's embarrassed about her ability to understand them and participate.
So anytime a game is brought out, she shuts down
and doesn't participate. So this person, it could have been
a deflection. But regardless, sorry that happened to you, Dave.
Not justifying.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Everybody. Everybody's got something, everybody's got your little vulnerable moment
and mine is done.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Did she ever apologize to you?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Hell no. She is not an apologizing kind of a person.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Ah God, I need to know.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I think that's I think being as someone who apologizes,
it's such a great thing to be and I think
more people should learn how to apologize and apologize.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Apologize and period, not apologize but but or.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I'm sorry you felt that way.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Just apologize period, No, when you did something wrong and
own up to it, period.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Well, the phone is opened. If she wants to call
in Yeah. Oh, look out, here comes Bailey to do
she comes? Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I want to answer the question why do I feel
the urge to poop when I enter a bookstore?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
And we're going to look into it. Okay, this is
a real Yes, you haven't heard of this.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, really, you don't walk into a Barnes and Noble
and think oop, where's the potty? No? Really, I can
guarantee one. I'm not making this up. This is like
a common phenomenon. And so according to a gastro anterologist
yes for McGill University, sell Science and Society, there are
(10:04):
four different theories to why you feel the urge to
poop when you enter a bookstore. Okay, Number one, the
smell of all the freshly inked and bound books may
trigger something through the olfactory system to down below. So
just the smell of like books and the smell of
old books or whatever that like triggers Mmm, I am
(10:25):
thinking about going poop?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Oh, okay, that's number one. Number two. Ever heard of
Pavlov's dogs.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Dave I have? Yeah, yeah, explain pathlog.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So the dogs were like conditioned to salivate at the
sound of a bell because they were anticipating and being fed.
So they would like ring a bell and then feed
the dog. And so then they would ring a bell,
feed the dog, ring a bell, feed the dog. So
then once they started to ring the bell, the dogs
would salivate because they would assume that they were getting fed.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Okay, so where does that come in to play here?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So regarding bookstores and pooping, the theory is that if
you tend to read while you're on the potty, like
at home, your brain is conditioned to connect books with
the thing. Okay, all right, So you enter a bookstore
filled with books and then Pavlov's dog the need to
poop within yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Okay, okay, that's number two.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Number three, number go by the.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Way, send me a text. I get it. Send me
a text and let me know whether you haven't urge
to poop when you go into Barns and Nobles, the
real thing, I believe.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, okay, number three, The stress and anxiety of picking
just the right book might speed up your heart rate
and then how quickly things move through your intestines, which
sends you running.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
To that bathroom.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
That sounds legit to me because I just said to
Alyssa when I was younger, we used to play either
man hunt or hide and seek. I'd always get an
urge to poop right when I hid, and I think
it's because I was nervous, yeah, and I was like, oh,
they're gonna find me right.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
And it's like just how you kind of have the
urge to poop, Like when you have a contest or
a tournament, or like a big presentation or something like that,
you feel like anxious, and so that anxiety is like
creating the urge, and that anxiety might come with feeling.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
An urge to pick out the right book.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
So when you walk into a bookstore, you might be like,
I'm anxious, No, I must poop. And then number four,
the last potential reason is that stepping into a bookstore
is a calming experience.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
So it allows everything, including your intestines, to relax.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Everyone's speaking quietly every like maybe there's like jazz.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Music playing over the speaker.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
You know that reading as like a task is pretty relaxing,
so everything in you is like and then you're like, oh, no,
my intestine relaxed too much.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I must poop. And so that's why you feel the
urge to poop when you.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Enter I've never had that urge and never noticed. I've
never heard of it. But there are a bunch of people,
yeah who say yes, Bailey Hobby Lobby or Michael's also
does that for me. Yeah, here's one, Yes to poop
with the bookstores. These are text messages at KDWB one
that's our short code. And here's another one. I always
(13:02):
have to poop at Target. It's a phenomenon that happens
to different places for different people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
My sister literally texts me as I'm saying. She says
me when I go to Walmart, she has to poop
every time she goes into Walmart.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And Walmart here's another one. Yes, the feeling of motivation,
excitement and bam, got a poop whenever I walk into
Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
There's something about Barnes and Noble specifically why though I
don't know, And like somebody texted in saying that they
saw TikTok about a baby that was constipated, and all
the comments said just take your baby to Barnes and
Noble or Michael's because.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Then, oh, well I don't know the baby would be that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yeah, but it's real life.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I swear I'm not making it up because it's a
real life thing.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Every time I walk into a Barnes and Noble, I'm like, Oh,
where's the bathroom?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And I think Barnes and Noble bathroom is the one
I use the most, unless it's like Home Goods or
TJ Max, same kind of feeling.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
But I feel like in there it's maybe the lighting.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yeah, but I'm never going bathroom specifically number two in
a public restroom ever. I don't even like pooping here
in the offices, So forget a Barnes and Noble or TJ.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Now, sometimes you can't hold it in.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Sometimes you can't hold it in. Listen to Today's Minnesota Goodbye,
and you will hear a story about one of us
on the show that could not hold it in.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yeah, I wish you were in a Bornes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Then we're gonna play a little game here called the
Call in Sick Olympics on KTWB. So what you're gonna
do is you're gonna call us at six, five to one,
nine to eight nine KDWB, and you will give us
your best call in sick impression, and you can, you know,
take ten or fifteen or twenty seconds or whatever. I've
(14:33):
never tried to call in sick with a fake voice
because I just you know, knock on wood. I've only
had like five six days, six days my entire time
at KTWB in thirty two years. It's amazing, pretty healthy
and you know, work out and I go to Livia.
Yeah as a horse, healthy as a horse.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Honestly, it's kind of nice that text messages exist in general,
because I can just text in saying like, hey guys,
it's a it's eleven pm at night and I'm feeling
pretty bad, so I'm I'm thinking I might not be
there tomorrow versus calling in the morning.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
No, I got that totally that and I think I
think people have done that on the show before. So
here's what we're gonna do. You call us at six five, one,
nine eight nine kt w B and we will listen
to your best call in sick and see how you do.
First up, Bailey j Hess, Hey Bailey, what's up?
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Hey Dave, I'm just sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm sorry it's like super late, but like my stomach
feels weird, like I've got this like little eat in
my stomach and I just I don't know what it is.
So I think I'm gonna stay home today. I'm so sorry,
I'm so okay.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I would believe it until the tier part. Oh I
cry all the time, though, do you really?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, I would feel bad because I'm missing out on work.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
See. I think the thing is you got to put
it on a little bit, but not too much. You
get good until the cry part. So I would be like,
here you.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Do me okay? Uh, Hey, Dave, what's up?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Oh? Hey Bailey, Ah God, I hate to bother you.
I am not going to make it in to day.
I am so sick, I cannot get off the toilet.
I'm on the toilet right now. I'm going at both ends.
I know you don't want to hear about it, but
I am not going to like ruin your show today
by coming into work today.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I wouldn't believe a moment of that, Dave, because you
sounded so bored throughout the whole thing. And also, I'm
on the toilet right now. You couldn't get off the
toilet to make a call.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
It's that bad, all right? Shoot your shot, bun. Let
me do this, ring ring ring, Hello, Hey Dave, Hey, Hey,
what's up.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
I'm just I don't I'm rolling around a bit and
I have a migraine, and I don't know something coming
out of my one end and something coming out the other.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Just I don't think I could come in for the
show today. Is it okay? If I say you know what,
I would believe you because you don't like the miswork
I don't and I'm still being sick. I wouldn't lie
about it. I would absolutely believe you can.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I say one thing vaunt saying I don't think I
can make it in is giving a high school student because.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Because you don't want to say I'm not coming in.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
No, you say I'm not coming in, I cannot come
in versus I don't think I can. Because if you
say I don't think I can, my understanding is, oh,
so you can. You just you're not gonna have a
good time, but you're coming in.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Okay. Well, let's get on the phone there and see
how we do with with the call in sick Olympics
on Katie WB and you get a few seconds to
do your best call in sick. First up is shoney?
Is that you?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
This is okay. I'm gonna answer the phone and then
you give me your spiel. Here we go yellow. Hey, Dave, Hey,
what's up?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Shonyy to follow you this, I'm not this sucks. I'm
not gonna be able to make it. Man.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I made the mistake of getting quick trips sushi and
it's just not it's not looking good and there's enough
janitorial staff to help us. Oh man, I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I hate to do this seey' all, but yeah, I
just I gotta do it.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
We're shorthanded today, shone. Is there any way you can
make it in at all? No? I just I can't
do it, you know. And I truly apologize about this,
But you guys will make it through. And if you
need your support, I'll try to. I'll try to hop
on later and see if I could do the support
from home. Okay, Tony, thank you. I appreciate that awkwardness. See,
he did something that was gracious where he said I'm
going to try my best to help out if you
need some help.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, and he used a very specific example like quin
trump sushi.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Meantime, I can hear I can hear people yelling for
in the background.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Hey, hey, keep it down, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
All right, let's go to Evan. Good morning, Eva, and Okay, good,
I'm gonna I'm gonna be your boss and here we go. Hello, Hi,
Dave Man. I just I'm not I don't think I'm
gonna be able to come in today. You know, what's up?
What's matter?
Speaker 5 (18:44):
I was drinking last night and I'm just not feeling
I'm just not feeling too good right now.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So I think I'm gonna have to, you know, spend
the day and take care of him, a little bit
of self care, you know that way. You know, we
we've all rather irresponsible to miswork because you're hungover. But
I mean we've all been there. I'm hungover right now,
so I totally, I totally get it. You take it easy,
drink a lot of fluids. Okay, oh, I will thank you,
thank you. Okay, Hey, Caarakara, you're about to call in
(19:14):
sick on the call in sick Olympics. I'm your boss
and here we go. Hello. Hello.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But I was working at the Ramsey County Jail and
I was at the end of my.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Fit at this time, and that is illegal to have
to explain why you're sick for any reason. So this
is how I do it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
How I did it. Good morning, phone cut.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Out, So He says. She works at the Ramsey County Jail,
and it's illegal to ask people why you're sick. You
just have to say, I'm not going to come in today. Wow,
he with it. Not that good job, Hey, Maa, you're
calling in sick, mar give us your best performance. I'm
your boss, and here I go. Hello, Hey Dave, I
(20:03):
have a really bad migraine today.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I'm not going to be able to comment.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Does the migraine make you throw up?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
Yes, if it's really bad, it could. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Oh wow, it's.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Too obvious to throw up on the phone.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, okay. You know what, I would never question anybody
until I hung up the phone. I'd be like, yeah,
Jenny sick again today? Jenny. I don't think she's sick.
It sounded like she was, you know. I find me
so can I read this type?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I'm so sick I can't make it in.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
The poops are so uncontrollable that I had to poop
in the weeds by a car repair shot.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Okay, who wrote that in I'm Finding You? I'm going
to come and find you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
If you didn't listen to the Minnesota Goodbye, they're talking
about Dave who had to poop in the weeds by
a car repair.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Shot the other day. You know, Bailey, this was not
meant for the radio. That was exclusive content on the
Minnesota Goodbye. Now they don't have to listen.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I'm not going to give details, but if you want
to laugh, you can go check it out on the
Minnesota Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. You know. All right,
we got one more. This is Jenna. We're doing the
calling call in Sick Olympics. Jenna, I'm your boss. I'm
answering the phone. You do your thing. Here we go. Hello.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to
make it into work today.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I have a really bad case with sicket.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Is of what sick it is is? Yeah, sick it
is crap.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Know I can't come into work today because I got
back problems. Rich told me if I came back, there'd
be problems. Step in the confessional, Father Dave, Confessions, my child,
my children, one at a time. You will step into
the confessional and you will tell me what you feel
guilty about, maybe something you shouldn't done. What sin have
you committed? First into the confessional, Bailey, Jay Has Bailey.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Hello, Father Dave, I have a.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Kid, my child. Yes, you want to confess, you're in.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
The bless me, father, for I have sinned.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Back when I was twenty two years old, I lived
in Florida and I worked at Disney World and I
had a boyfriend down there.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
He was from Puerto Rico. His name was Trebor.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Is this a real story, Yes, this is a real story.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Okay, I'm confessing. Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And Trebor was so nice, so kind, but he never
wanted to like kiss at all, and I was like,
this is annoying.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I want to kiss a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
And so while I was with torre Bor, this other
man that I worked with, his name was Enrique. He
came up to me and he gave me a Mickey
Mouse sticker and he says, this is for you. And
then I ended up kissing Enrique while I was still
with Trebor. It turns out Trebor was gay, so that's
probably why he didn't want to kiss me.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I say, trey Bor definitely was gay, but God's doors
were open to all people.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, so well, I'm confessing that I kissed Enrique when
I shouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I got no problem with that. Oh what, Bailey, I
think you worry too much about sin that is not
a sin. You were not in a relationship or committed
to any of these. I was with Trey boy, Well,
you technically were not with him because he was gay.
So you were not with him. You were free to
like get you all freak on with any Spaniard that
you wanted to do.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Even at the time I didn't know he was gay,
but he was still gay.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I don't know why this continues. Let's says, let's a
prayer for Bailey. He Father, Heavenly Father, can you please
bless Bailey with gay dar so gay Bailey can tell
when a boy that she's interested in is gay. And
your holy name, we pray.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Hallelujah.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Get out of my confessional. Okay, okay, coming up next, Jenny,
step into the confessional.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Here, my good morning, father day.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Good morning, Jenny, my child. What what is on your conscience?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
So I just went to a retreat the last couple
of days up north, and I went with our good
buddy Fallon, who does afternoons here on.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Katy w B.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
And I lied to her because one morning I woke
up and I wanted to go on a little bike
ride by myself, and I just wanted some space. I
had spent thirty six hours with this woman.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Are yeah, that's a lot. We've just four day and
that was three hours too.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I think it's space.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And so I hear her kind of shuffling around upstairs,
and I was like, oh, no, she's awake. She's gonna
hear me because she's like on me, like what on Rice?
When what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You know whatever?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
And so I hear her get into the bathroom and
make some noise. So I quickly jumped out the door
and shut the door, and then I texted her once.
I was on this bike ride like a mile away,
and I was like, hey girl, you were sleeping. So
I like just want you know. I went for a
bike ride. I'll be back soon, and I lied to her.
I knew she was awake. I could have gone up
and been like do you want to come with me?
Speaker 4 (24:48):
But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
I needed some peace and quiet and some alone time.
So I lied to her and she was like what
the hell, Like why didn't you ask me? And I
was like I didn't. You were sleeping. I didn't hear
you upstairs making any noise.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Who is your god in your life? Who do you answer?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
To in your life, Buddha.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Okay, I'm gonna say, the Lord is the only person
you have to answer to. You don't have to answer
to Fallon. You do not have to get permission from
Fallon to live your life. You go live your life.
You liar.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
I I'm a liar.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I didn't worry and worry about it. I think we
all tell little white lies. Aunt Martha, I can't come
to your birthday party because I had to work over time.
We all tell little white lies. That's not the sin.
The sin is not being committed to the Lord and
being committed to Fallon. Do not let Fallon dictate your life.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Thank you, Thank you, Father Da.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Get out of my confession. Hey, vont step in, please now, Von,
you're invited to sit over here on my knee. It's
always a little bit more hot when you sit on
Father Dave's knee. Well, you have a screwdriver in your pocket.
I don't know why. Why do I have a screwup
have to say that's not a screwdriver, that's not a
screwdriver anyway, Okay, I think it's banana. Why do you
(26:07):
have a banana in your Podkay? I got it. The screwdriver, Dave,
I'm here to confess.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
I know your past two disciples that were in here
had some petty confessions, but this one I need some forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I'm a repeat offender.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
I have taken multiple, multiple women into multiple, multiple dressing rooms,
and we've gotten our freak one. And it's something that
I have felt guilty about for so long. I didn't
feel guilty about it in the moment, but now I'm
looking back on my ways and I'm said, God, this
isn't this isn't the man I want to be.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
So you're telling me everywhere from Macy's to Zumi's that
you will go behind the curtain, indiscreetly, pull the curtain shut,
remove articles of clothing. Yes, one of you will lean over,
bracing their hands on the wall a paint of picture
I'm trying to Yeah, it's vivid and uh. And then
(26:58):
you will start the action there in the dress room. Yes.
And sometimes we say get it, get it, get it,
get it. Yes, and I saw twenty three saw them
twenty three it, get it.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Get it, and so get it, get it.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And I need your forgiveness, Father Dave well Vaughant. I
think that you you've enjoyed a lot of love and
a lot of premature, premarital lovin, and that is, in
my book permissible. Oh okay, I think as long as
nobody caught you or heard you, I think you're okay.
No promises on the on if they heard me or not,
but definitely never been caught. But I think your your
(27:33):
punishment this morning on Father Dave Confessionals is no lovin
for the rest of the week, the rest of the wee. Yeah,
not just as a not as a punishment for you,
but a break for that poor girl that you're with,
because I can't imagine the low quality of the loven
that you offer, the low quality of the love. And
you said you weren't going to judge is probably you
(27:54):
probably still have your shorts on, they're down around your ankles.
You still probably you're wearing ball cap to bed. You
get you still have your glasses on so you can
see what's going on, and then thirty seconds later you're like,
how is that baby? Was that the best you ever had?
Speaker 5 (28:09):
You can see my heine in the mirror in the
rooms so unattractive.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
So I would say your punishment is no loving for
you for the rest of the week, and also that's
a break for poor less. Well it's Thursday, so I'm
cool with that two day break. Father Dave Confessions. I'm
Katie w B something that I really don't like doing
very much, but Bailey gets a big kick out of this.
It's called Dave's Wheel. Girl friend explained with this gun times.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Well, on this wheel that I have, I have the
names of all of Dave's past girlfriends, and Dave has
had a lot of girlfriends. So what I do is
I spin the wheel, the Dave's Wheel of girlfriends, and I.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Tell him the name and wheel. It just sound.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, it's a real world. It's a real wheel. I
love it so much and it takes a lot out
of me to spin it. Okay, and then you're going
to tell us a story about how you met, maybe
what happened between the two of you and why it ended.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Okay, spin that wheel?
Speaker 5 (29:16):
No, I'm.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Oh, okay, God, the same wheel from the lyrics shop.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Now, when is it? Joan tell us about Joan dates Joan.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I was twenty two, Joan was forty two. What and
Joan was? She was delightful, I mean that's really all
there was. She meet her, she came to a celebrity
car wash that I was doing and got her car washed,
and then we went over to her house to watch
TV and you know, one thing another yeah, and she
(29:52):
was very lucky to be, you know, like, you know,
dating a guy at twenty years.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Younger than how long did you date for?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Like fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes, maybe three weeks or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Would you say that you invented Netflix and jail?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, I would say that if you google it, if
you google that, yeah, you'll see me. And then and
then I moved away, and then she moved away. And
then we met up in her hometown in Florida somewhere,
and she wanted to hook up and I just didn't
really want to. I remember she was trying to like
seduce me, and I was like.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
What was wrong with her? At that point?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I don't remember. I just wasn't interested anymore.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Is she still around? I mean, she's twenty years older.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
All right, thank you, that's.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
All we about.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
Nope, spend that.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Now.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Kim tell us about Kim.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Kim came to the radio station with her sisters and
they were standing there and I remember Kim and I
kind of like made eye contact, and I would go
over to her house and she would make me merry
kitchen corn beef hash and we went to the Earth
Wind and Fire show, and and then I told her
(31:07):
we're too different.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
You're too different, We're too different. Why were you different?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Because I didn't want a date her anymore?
Speaker 4 (31:14):
Oh so that was just an excuse. Yeah, she sounds perfect.
She made you food. You went to earth Wind and Fire.
That sounds great.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Too different because she was up having a good time
at the concert and you were sitting in the hall.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Oh you suck probably again.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Do you remember arms crossing? I don't like him? All right?
Thank you? Spin that wheel? Oh, tell us about.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Dawn uh Down told me what a blunkin was? Told
you or she does? She told me what a blunkin was.
I never knew what a blunk and you know what
a blunkin is. I found out on the show. Yeah. Yeah,
so that's one thing she told me. And then she
also I think she was she was eighteen, but she
(32:10):
lied and told me that she was my age. Huh uh.
And then she old were you twenty three?
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Isha?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
And then She told me later that she wasn't on
the pill, and I'm like, well, you could have told
me that before.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You were twenty three. Why haven't you learned your lesson
by that point? Didn't she already have a child?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Annoy annoyed?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Annoyed?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
What is a lesson?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Funny thing is we're still friends on Facebook?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh wow, you should reach out to her today.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Not today, No, no, no, no never. We're done now,
that is all weird that time. Nobody enjoys this bit,
except a lot.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Of people are texting.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Nobody is texting, and that they enjoy this bit.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
All right, you're gonna tell us about Janet. And it
looks like there might have been more than one Janet,
so tell us about one of them.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
One Janet one was a doctor. She was a psychiatry,
and she was a larger girl. And I went to
her house and there was a big divot in her
bed from her body because she was a larger girl.
But she was a doctor. And she drove a sports
car and I thought that was pretty cool.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
How did you meet her?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
She called the radio station? Yeah, start And so we
had a really nice time and and she was a doctor.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
How long did you date her for.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, three six months, something like three months. And there
was another Janet. Here's the more interesting too. So this
Janet was I met her somewhere with the radio station,
and so we'd been dating for you know, I don't know,
a couple of three weeks or a month or whatever.
And then we're at a station event and one of
my buddies, who was a DJ, elbows me and points
(33:43):
at Janet and he said, I hooked up with her
last night. So Janet had cheated on me with Charlie
McGraw on the radio station. Yeah, co worker, is good,
my coworker.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
And he told you, like, here's some spicy piece of information.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You were like, yeah, did you stock him in the eye? No,
I didn't really blame him because he didn't know I
blamed her. So he was just telling you. He wasn't
trying to rub in your face. No, like I slepped
to your girl.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Wow, what a scarlet woman, that Janet. Can we spend
it one more time?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
No story? Will you calm him down? Nobody enjoys this.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Okay, all right, you're gonna tell us all about Sharon.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Sharon was the one that accident, No, no, accidentally, no, no, no, no, no, no,
what she do?
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Sorry we've heard before, because I feel.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Like you heard yes one, Yeah, finish it for me.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Is this the one who accidentally let out a turd?
Is cut out right and whiless enjoying the leff hen you.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Should be in shamed of yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
You're one who did it.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I didn't do nothing. She's the one who did it.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So that is the correct one. Yeah, she passed a turn.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Okay, can you just not spit it the Dave Ryan Show,
not the Bailey Show.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
No, it's the Bailey Show right now?
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Because I want to hear about your girlfriend Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
No, why not?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
No, I'm not going to I'm done, Vanessa. Maybe some
other time, all right. I'm shocked at the number of
people who support that bit.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
That's my favorite bit.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
I don't think I've ever come up with anything as
brilliant as that bit in my life.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
It was a very good idea.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Thank you, Thank you so much, thank you. And honestly,
there's still so many names still on this wheel.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Somebody text me it was like, is this real? Is like, yes,
these are all real stories of Dave and his past.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's funny how each one has a story though. Yeah,
there was there. I don't think there's anyone that didn't
have a story.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
I like that you remember exactly who they are because
it was they meant something to me.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
I but like that you remember them even by name.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
That too, and you gave me a list of all
their names, because if you asked me like spin My Wheel,
I would be like, well, there was the beat boxer.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Yeah, there was exactly how too, I would maybe be
like Jake cowbo Jacks, or mine would be like Country
USA twenty ten, right, Like I wouldn't actually maybe have
some of the names.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, because you like random, meaningless hookups. Mine were all
people that I respected and had a good time with
and took them out to Red Lobster and fired some
cheddar Bay biscuits down her throat.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
You were you were like way horny or you wanted
action all the time, whereas I was just like the
party girl who would get action when I felt like it.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Yeah, me, and then when I got it, I was
over it. I was like, get out. Were you ever
single in your youth, Dave? Yeah, sounds like no.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
No, No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
No.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I was always I've always wanted to send you go
play golf with and go fired cheddar bab biscuits down
her throat.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
That sounds nice, me alone, Okay,
Favorite part of the show is when Dave was exhaling
sighing heavily. Okay, so it's had a vulnerability. So we
you know, we tell you a lot of things on
the show. You've learned everything from like Jenny's breakup to
Bailey's secret that she won't tell us what it is
to vaunt just existing existing, there's a big secret to that.
So when we do have a vulnerability, we each have
(00:28):
to come up with something we've never talked about in
the show that's like a kind of a vulnerable moment.
And so mine goes back to a radio station trip
to Mexico, probably seven or eight years ago. We took
a bunch of listeners down to Mexico and a bunch
of people came along with us, and some were friends
of other people on the show. And I'm not going
to name any names because they still live here in town.
(00:50):
But you know me, I'm kind of like socially awkward,
and you know, like I like hanging around with people,
but I get exhausted after a little you know, like
an hour or so, and I'm never like the life
of the party. I'm always kind of like, yeah, what
do you guys want to do okay, cool, I can
hold a conversation. I'm not horribly awkward. I mean, we
went to dinner the other day, and I'm not horribly
awkward to be around. But I'm not a Bailey and
(01:12):
I'm not a Jenny, and so I'm kind of like,
all right, So we're sitting in the lobby of this
hotel and there's probably about ten of us from the
radio station, and Fallon and Steve and some people that
somebody brought along and the engineer and Jeff and whatever,
and we're sitting around and we're kind of like having
a good time. And Susan and I are there, and I,
(01:35):
being socially awkward and dumb, I pulled out a game.
I had a little game, like at one of those
card games, like Cards against Humanity or something like that.
And I pulled out a game and I said, Hey,
you guys want to play a game. And this woman
who is not part of the station, and if she's listening,
she knows exactly who she is. She's very so she's
(02:00):
the life of the party. She's giggly, funny, fun whatever.
I pull out a game and I'm like, hey, you
guys want to play a game? And she goes, ah,
we're not playing an FN game, We're not boy Scouts.
And I felt so stupid and so small and so
(02:22):
incompetent because that was my attempt. I am gonna be
a little emotional. That was my attempt to bring some
dave into this little gathering. And can you imagine how
I felt when I tried to bring some of me
and was shot down so brutally in front of everybody.
(02:44):
We're not playing a game, we're not ef and boy scouts.
And I left. I got up and I'm like, I'm
not gonna sit here feeling like this. So I got
up and I left. I went to my room and
I I don't know what I did, but it was awful. Yeah,
(03:06):
And it's one of those things that reinforces, like if
you're if you are short, and you know you're short,
and then here comes some doughhead who's like, well, if
you weren't so short, it's just a reminder of something
that you're not possessing.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But it's also your personality too, So I honestly think
it's like worse than like somebody pointing out that you're short,
because that's a fact, but if it's your personality and
you're just trying to connect with other people, and they say, well,
the way that you're trying to connect with other people
is stupid, and I think what you're into is dumb, Like, well,
but this is like who I am, Like that's like
(03:43):
the fabric of your person.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And honestly, thank you. And that's one of the things
that I don't really go out with groups because I
just it's just not my thing. Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I have a couple of questions not to take away
from your experience, because I feel very very bad for you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That was so wrong. Was this person drunk because you
were in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They were a little bit drunk, but not so drunk
that they should have you know.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And regardless, doesn't matter, Like you don't say things like that.
And the other question was like, did you know each
other well enough for them to like even even if
they were very joking about it and didn't mean it
in a mean way?
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Whatsoever? Did you know this person more a.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Little less than I know Tina for example, So not
really well but sort of.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So definitely inappropriate because it's like I'm trying to like
put myself in the position of like, did I make
a dumb joke one time and hurt someone's feelings like
you don't need it in the moment, but still regardless
that person is not very kind for doing that. Like
that is I don't know, It's like you got to
(04:51):
keep your thoughts to yourself sometimes even if you like.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Feel like, oh god, I don't want to play a game.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And that was probably the attitude of the of the
group was like we're not gonna play a game. But
I thought, okay, well I'm going to try to contribute
to something.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah, I would just try and humor you in general, but.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Like I do, we talk a lot about like people
who think that they're being funny, and I think a
lot of people try and be like sarcastic and snotty
because they think it's funny or they'll think that they're.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
It's really it's actually mean, it's actually me. I have
a family member that's like that.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Right, And I think there's a lot of people who
do that where they'll say like, oh, I'm going to
say this snippy thing and it's going to be funny,
even though like because I'm relatable because I'm saying this
like snippy thing, but it's no, you're coming off across
across as mean period. That was a mean thing for
her to say, and you are valid in your emotions
to be upset about it, and I would be upset.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
And it still comes back to me once in a while.
I don't think about it a lot because I'm pretty
comfortable with who I am, but it definitely reminded me
of who I am not, and that is like I
am not the social leader of any group of people.
That's what sucks. I think there's two layers to it.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
The fact that it was, hey, do you want to
see you know this thing that I love? That's your personality.
But also, let's just say you were just trying to
join the conversation that we're already having. You were probably
in your head about like how do I walk into
this situation? And it took a lot of courage for
you to do that. So even if you just walked
in and said hi, if she shut you down, I
would have been like, well damn, Like, oh my gosh,
now I feel so little.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
They think I'm stupid just for saying hi.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
And we talk also a lot about you know, how
you think people might be looking at you in the gym,
or if you're not sitting and talking at a dinner table,
and it takes a lot of courage to, you know,
have the confidence to be like, I'm going to assert myself,
or just not even assert myself, just be so I'm
sorry that you, you know, were literally just being and
that wasn't good enough for that person.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Could you say again what she said to you. She's
just tuning in.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
She said, so okay. So just to set it up again,
we were at this big radio station gathering in Mexico,
big station trip. We flew a bunch of listeners down
Waite a great time, and there was one night where
we were all with the station, some people that somebody
had brought along and we were all sitting in the
lobby around a big square table on couches and we're
all having a good time. And I had brought a
game and I think it might have been Cards against Humanity,
(07:06):
but it might have been something else. And I brought
it down and I said, hey, you guys want to
play this, and one of these very very socially adept
people said, we're not playing a blancin game. We're not
blank and boy scouts, and I was crushed. So you
wanted a vulnerable moment.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
There's your story, and you didn't say anything back to her.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
No, I got up and left. I sat there like
show for a minute, and I'm like, I'm not going
to sit here and feel that for the rest of
the night.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Did anyone else hear this?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Like, did I anyte everybody heard everybody heard it.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Nobody was like.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Word, did I tell you? Who was very nice? And
this was almost made it a little bit worse. Was
the engineer Jeff. He goes, I'll play a game with you, Dave,
and I felt he meant so, well, no.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
But it makes it worse.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But it kind of made it worse, Like I feel
sorry for you, Dave, I'll play a game with you.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Okay, Well, buddy, I'll play with you.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Can we move on?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Would you want to hear some text messages?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and then we'll do the weekend winner
in a second. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Someone says, Dave, I'm sorry that happened. I can relate
as a socially awkward person, sending you virtual hugs.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Someone said you should have said clearly you're not lady boy.
Scouts are friendly and kind. Someone else says, oh, she
was so rude. I think I would have been It
would have been fun to play a game with y'all
while we were just chilling. All right, Karen, I don't
see you coming up with anything to do.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I feel, yeah, this one's it's not justified. But someone
did text.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I have a friend who hates games, especially when alcohol's involved,
because she's embarrassed about her ability to understand them and participate.
So anytime a game is brought out, she shuts down
and doesn't participate. So this person, it could have been
a deflection. But regardless, sorry that happened to you, Dave.
Not justifying.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Everybody. Everybody's got something, everybody's got your little vulnerable moment
and mine is done.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Did she ever apologize to you?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Hell no. She is not an apologizing kind of a person.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Ah God, I need to know.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I think that's I think being as someone who apologizes,
it's such a great thing to be and I think
more people should learn how to apologize and apologize.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Apologize and period, not apologize but but or.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I'm sorry you felt that way.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Just apologize period, No, when you did something wrong and
own up to it, period.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Well, the phone is opened. If she wants to call
in Yeah. Oh, look out, here comes Bailey to do
she comes? Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I want to answer the question why do I feel
the urge to poop when I enter a bookstore?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
And we're going to look into it. Okay, this is
a real Yes, you haven't heard of this.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, really, you don't walk into a Barnes and Noble
and think oop, where's the potty? No? Really, I can
guarantee one. I'm not making this up. This is like
a common phenomenon. And so according to a gastro anterologist
yes for McGill University, sell Science and Society, there are
(10:04):
four different theories to why you feel the urge to
poop when you enter a bookstore. Okay, Number one, the
smell of all the freshly inked and bound books may
trigger something through the olfactory system to down below. So
just the smell of like books and the smell of
old books or whatever that like triggers Mmm, I am
(10:25):
thinking about going poop?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Oh, okay, that's number one. Number two. Ever heard of
Pavlov's dogs.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Dave I have? Yeah, yeah, explain pathlog.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So the dogs were like conditioned to salivate at the
sound of a bell because they were anticipating and being fed.
So they would like ring a bell and then feed
the dog. And so then they would ring a bell,
feed the dog, ring a bell, feed the dog. So
then once they started to ring the bell, the dogs
would salivate because they would assume that they were getting fed.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Okay, so where does that come in to play here?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So regarding bookstores and pooping, the theory is that if
you tend to read while you're on the potty, like
at home, your brain is conditioned to connect books with
the thing. Okay, all right, So you enter a bookstore
filled with books and then Pavlov's dog the need to
poop within yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Okay, okay, that's number two.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Number three, number go by the.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Way, send me a text. I get it. Send me
a text and let me know whether you haven't urge
to poop when you go into Barns and Nobles, the
real thing, I believe.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, okay, number three, The stress and anxiety of picking
just the right book might speed up your heart rate
and then how quickly things move through your intestines, which
sends you running.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
To that bathroom.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
That sounds legit to me because I just said to
Alyssa when I was younger, we used to play either
man hunt or hide and seek. I'd always get an
urge to poop right when I hid, and I think
it's because I was nervous, yeah, and I was like, oh,
they're gonna find me right.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
And it's like just how you kind of have the
urge to poop, Like when you have a contest or
a tournament, or like a big presentation or something like that,
you feel like anxious, and so that anxiety is like
creating the urge, and that anxiety might come with feeling.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
An urge to pick out the right book.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
So when you walk into a bookstore, you might be like,
I'm anxious, No, I must poop. And then number four,
the last potential reason is that stepping into a bookstore
is a calming experience.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
So it allows everything, including your intestines, to relax.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Everyone's speaking quietly every like maybe there's like jazz.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Music playing over the speaker.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
You know that reading as like a task is pretty relaxing,
so everything in you is like and then you're like, oh, no,
my intestine relaxed too much.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I must poop. And so that's why you feel the
urge to poop when you.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Enter I've never had that urge and never noticed. I've
never heard of it. But there are a bunch of people,
yeah who say yes, Bailey Hobby Lobby or Michael's also
does that for me. Yeah, here's one, Yes to poop
with the bookstores. These are text messages at KDWB one
that's our short code. And here's another one. I always
(13:02):
have to poop at Target. It's a phenomenon that happens
to different places for different people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
My sister literally texts me as I'm saying. She says
me when I go to Walmart, she has to poop
every time she goes into Walmart.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And Walmart here's another one. Yes, the feeling of motivation,
excitement and bam, got a poop whenever I walk into
Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
There's something about Barnes and Noble specifically why though I
don't know, And like somebody texted in saying that they
saw TikTok about a baby that was constipated, and all
the comments said just take your baby to Barnes and
Noble or Michael's because.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Then, oh, well I don't know the baby would be that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yeah, but it's real life.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I swear I'm not making it up because it's a
real life thing.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Every time I walk into a Barnes and Noble, I'm like, Oh,
where's the bathroom?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And I think Barnes and Noble bathroom is the one
I use the most, unless it's like Home Goods or
TJ Max, same kind of feeling.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
But I feel like in there it's maybe the lighting.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yeah, but I'm never going bathroom specifically number two in
a public restroom ever. I don't even like pooping here
in the offices, So forget a Barnes and Noble or TJ.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Now, sometimes you can't hold it in.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Sometimes you can't hold it in. Listen to Today's Minnesota Goodbye,
and you will hear a story about one of us
on the show that could not hold it in.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yeah, I wish you were in a Bornes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Then we're gonna play a little game here called the
Call in Sick Olympics on KTWB. So what you're gonna
do is you're gonna call us at six, five to one,
nine to eight nine KDWB, and you will give us
your best call in sick impression, and you can, you know,
take ten or fifteen or twenty seconds or whatever. I've
(14:33):
never tried to call in sick with a fake voice
because I just you know, knock on wood. I've only
had like five six days, six days my entire time
at KTWB in thirty two years. It's amazing, pretty healthy
and you know, work out and I go to Livia.
Yeah as a horse, healthy as a horse.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Honestly, it's kind of nice that text messages exist in general,
because I can just text in saying like, hey guys,
it's a it's eleven pm at night and I'm feeling
pretty bad, so I'm I'm thinking I might not be
there tomorrow versus calling in the morning.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
No, I got that totally that and I think I
think people have done that on the show before. So
here's what we're gonna do. You call us at six five, one,
nine eight nine kt w B and we will listen
to your best call in sick and see how you do.
First up, Bailey j Hess, Hey Bailey, what's up?
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Hey Dave, I'm just sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm sorry it's like super late, but like my stomach
feels weird, like I've got this like little eat in
my stomach and I just I don't know what it is.
So I think I'm gonna stay home today. I'm so sorry,
I'm so okay.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I would believe it until the tier part. Oh I
cry all the time, though, do you really?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, I would feel bad because I'm missing out on work.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
See. I think the thing is you got to put
it on a little bit, but not too much. You
get good until the cry part. So I would be like,
here you.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Do me okay? Uh, Hey, Dave, what's up?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Oh? Hey Bailey, Ah God, I hate to bother you.
I am not going to make it in to day.
I am so sick, I cannot get off the toilet.
I'm on the toilet right now. I'm going at both ends.
I know you don't want to hear about it, but
I am not going to like ruin your show today
by coming into work today.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I wouldn't believe a moment of that, Dave, because you
sounded so bored throughout the whole thing. And also, I'm
on the toilet right now. You couldn't get off the
toilet to make a call.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
It's that bad, all right? Shoot your shot, bun. Let
me do this, ring ring ring, Hello, Hey Dave, Hey, Hey,
what's up.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
I'm just I don't I'm rolling around a bit and
I have a migraine, and I don't know something coming
out of my one end and something coming out the other.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Just I don't think I could come in for the
show today. Is it okay? If I say you know what,
I would believe you because you don't like the miswork
I don't and I'm still being sick. I wouldn't lie
about it. I would absolutely believe you can.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I say one thing vaunt saying I don't think I
can make it in is giving a high school student because.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Because you don't want to say I'm not coming in.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
No, you say I'm not coming in, I cannot come
in versus I don't think I can. Because if you
say I don't think I can, my understanding is, oh,
so you can. You just you're not gonna have a
good time, but you're coming in.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Okay. Well, let's get on the phone there and see
how we do with with the call in sick Olympics
on Katie WB and you get a few seconds to
do your best call in sick. First up is shoney?
Is that you?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
This is okay. I'm gonna answer the phone and then
you give me your spiel. Here we go yellow. Hey, Dave, Hey,
what's up?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Shonyy to follow you this, I'm not this sucks. I'm
not gonna be able to make it. Man.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I made the mistake of getting quick trips sushi and
it's just not it's not looking good and there's enough
janitorial staff to help us. Oh man, I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I hate to do this seey' all, but yeah, I
just I gotta do it.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
We're shorthanded today, shone. Is there any way you can
make it in at all? No? I just I can't
do it, you know. And I truly apologize about this,
But you guys will make it through. And if you
need your support, I'll try to. I'll try to hop
on later and see if I could do the support
from home. Okay, Tony, thank you. I appreciate that awkwardness. See,
he did something that was gracious where he said I'm
going to try my best to help out if you
need some help.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, and he used a very specific example like quin
trump sushi.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Meantime, I can hear I can hear people yelling for
in the background.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Hey, hey, keep it down, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
All right, let's go to Evan. Good morning, Eva, and Okay, good,
I'm gonna I'm gonna be your boss and here we go. Hello, Hi,
Dave Man. I just I'm not I don't think I'm
gonna be able to come in today. You know, what's up?
What's matter?
Speaker 5 (18:44):
I was drinking last night and I'm just not feeling
I'm just not feeling too good right now.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So I think I'm gonna have to, you know, spend
the day and take care of him, a little bit
of self care, you know that way. You know, we
we've all rather irresponsible to miswork because you're hungover. But
I mean we've all been there. I'm hungover right now,
so I totally, I totally get it. You take it easy,
drink a lot of fluids. Okay, oh, I will thank you,
thank you. Okay, Hey, Caarakara, you're about to call in
(19:14):
sick on the call in sick Olympics. I'm your boss
and here we go. Hello. Hello.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But I was working at the Ramsey County Jail and
I was at the end of my.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Fit at this time, and that is illegal to have
to explain why you're sick for any reason. So this
is how I do it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
How I did it. Good morning, phone cut.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Out, So He says. She works at the Ramsey County Jail,
and it's illegal to ask people why you're sick. You
just have to say, I'm not going to come in today. Wow,
he with it. Not that good job, Hey, Maa, you're
calling in sick, mar give us your best performance. I'm
your boss, and here I go. Hello, Hey Dave, I
(20:03):
have a really bad migraine today.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I'm not going to be able to comment.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Does the migraine make you throw up?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
Yes, if it's really bad, it could. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Oh wow, it's.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Too obvious to throw up on the phone.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, okay. You know what, I would never question anybody
until I hung up the phone. I'd be like, yeah,
Jenny sick again today? Jenny. I don't think she's sick.
It sounded like she was, you know. I find me
so can I read this type?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I'm so sick I can't make it in.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
The poops are so uncontrollable that I had to poop
in the weeds by a car repair shot.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Okay, who wrote that in I'm Finding You? I'm going
to come and find you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
If you didn't listen to the Minnesota Goodbye, they're talking
about Dave who had to poop in the weeds by
a car repair.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Shot the other day. You know, Bailey, this was not
meant for the radio. That was exclusive content on the
Minnesota Goodbye. Now they don't have to listen.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I'm not going to give details, but if you want
to laugh, you can go check it out on the
Minnesota Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. You know. All right,
we got one more. This is Jenna. We're doing the
calling call in Sick Olympics. Jenna, I'm your boss. I'm
answering the phone. You do your thing. Here we go. Hello.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to
make it into work today.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I have a really bad case with sicket.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Is of what sick it is is? Yeah, sick it
is crap.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Know I can't come into work today because I got
back problems. Rich told me if I came back, there'd
be problems. Step in the confessional, Father Dave, Confessions, my child,
my children, one at a time. You will step into
the confessional and you will tell me what you feel
guilty about, maybe something you shouldn't done. What sin have
you committed? First into the confessional, Bailey, Jay Has Bailey.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Hello, Father Dave, I have a.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Kid, my child. Yes, you want to confess, you're in.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
The bless me, father, for I have sinned.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Back when I was twenty two years old, I lived
in Florida and I worked at Disney World and I
had a boyfriend down there.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
He was from Puerto Rico. His name was Trebor.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Is this a real story, Yes, this is a real story.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Okay, I'm confessing. Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And Trebor was so nice, so kind, but he never
wanted to like kiss at all, and I was like,
this is annoying.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I want to kiss a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
And so while I was with torre Bor, this other
man that I worked with, his name was Enrique. He
came up to me and he gave me a Mickey
Mouse sticker and he says, this is for you. And
then I ended up kissing Enrique while I was still
with Trebor. It turns out Trebor was gay, so that's
probably why he didn't want to kiss me.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I say, trey Bor definitely was gay, but God's doors
were open to all people.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, so well, I'm confessing that I kissed Enrique when
I shouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I got no problem with that. Oh what, Bailey, I
think you worry too much about sin that is not
a sin. You were not in a relationship or committed
to any of these. I was with Trey boy, Well,
you technically were not with him because he was gay.
So you were not with him. You were free to
like get you all freak on with any Spaniard that
you wanted to do.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Even at the time I didn't know he was gay,
but he was still gay.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I don't know why this continues. Let's says, let's a
prayer for Bailey. He Father, Heavenly Father, can you please
bless Bailey with gay dar so gay Bailey can tell
when a boy that she's interested in is gay. And
your holy name, we pray.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Hallelujah.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Get out of my confessional. Okay, okay, coming up next, Jenny,
step into the confessional.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Here, my good morning, father day.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Good morning, Jenny, my child. What what is on your conscience?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
So I just went to a retreat the last couple
of days up north, and I went with our good
buddy Fallon, who does afternoons here on.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Katy w B.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
And I lied to her because one morning I woke
up and I wanted to go on a little bike
ride by myself, and I just wanted some space. I
had spent thirty six hours with this woman.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Are yeah, that's a lot. We've just four day and
that was three hours too.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I think it's space.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And so I hear her kind of shuffling around upstairs,
and I was like, oh, no, she's awake. She's gonna
hear me because she's like on me, like what on Rice?
When what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You know whatever?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
And so I hear her get into the bathroom and
make some noise. So I quickly jumped out the door
and shut the door, and then I texted her once.
I was on this bike ride like a mile away,
and I was like, hey girl, you were sleeping. So
I like just want you know. I went for a
bike ride. I'll be back soon, and I lied to her.
I knew she was awake. I could have gone up
and been like do you want to come with me?
Speaker 4 (24:48):
But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
I needed some peace and quiet and some alone time.
So I lied to her and she was like what
the hell, Like why didn't you ask me? And I
was like I didn't. You were sleeping. I didn't hear
you upstairs making any noise.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Who is your god in your life? Who do you answer?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
To in your life, Buddha.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Okay, I'm gonna say, the Lord is the only person
you have to answer to. You don't have to answer
to Fallon. You do not have to get permission from
Fallon to live your life. You go live your life.
You liar.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
I I'm a liar.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I didn't worry and worry about it. I think we
all tell little white lies. Aunt Martha, I can't come
to your birthday party because I had to work over time.
We all tell little white lies. That's not the sin.
The sin is not being committed to the Lord and
being committed to Fallon. Do not let Fallon dictate your life.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Thank you, Thank you, Father Da.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Get out of my confession. Hey, vont step in, please now, Von,
you're invited to sit over here on my knee. It's
always a little bit more hot when you sit on
Father Dave's knee. Well, you have a screwdriver in your pocket.
I don't know why. Why do I have a screwup
have to say that's not a screwdriver, that's not a
screwdriver anyway, Okay, I think it's banana. Why do you
(26:07):
have a banana in your Podkay? I got it. The screwdriver, Dave,
I'm here to confess.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
I know your past two disciples that were in here
had some petty confessions, but this one I need some forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I'm a repeat offender.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
I have taken multiple, multiple women into multiple, multiple dressing rooms,
and we've gotten our freak one. And it's something that
I have felt guilty about for so long. I didn't
feel guilty about it in the moment, but now I'm
looking back on my ways and I'm said, God, this
isn't this isn't the man I want to be.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
So you're telling me everywhere from Macy's to Zumi's that
you will go behind the curtain, indiscreetly, pull the curtain shut,
remove articles of clothing. Yes, one of you will lean over,
bracing their hands on the wall a paint of picture
I'm trying to Yeah, it's vivid and uh. And then
(26:58):
you will start the action there in the dress room. Yes.
And sometimes we say get it, get it, get it,
get it. Yes, and I saw twenty three saw them
twenty three it, get it.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Get it, and so get it, get it.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And I need your forgiveness, Father Dave well Vaughant. I
think that you you've enjoyed a lot of love and
a lot of premature, premarital lovin, and that is, in
my book permissible. Oh okay, I think as long as
nobody caught you or heard you, I think you're okay.
No promises on the on if they heard me or not,
but definitely never been caught. But I think your your
(27:33):
punishment this morning on Father Dave Confessionals is no lovin
for the rest of the week, the rest of the wee. Yeah,
not just as a not as a punishment for you,
but a break for that poor girl that you're with,
because I can't imagine the low quality of the loven
that you offer, the low quality of the love. And
you said you weren't going to judge is probably you
(27:54):
probably still have your shorts on, they're down around your ankles.
You still probably you're wearing ball cap to bed. You
get you still have your glasses on so you can
see what's going on, and then thirty seconds later you're like,
how is that baby? Was that the best you ever had?
Speaker 5 (28:09):
You can see my heine in the mirror in the
rooms so unattractive.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
So I would say your punishment is no loving for
you for the rest of the week, and also that's
a break for poor less. Well it's Thursday, so I'm
cool with that two day break. Father Dave Confessions. I'm
Katie w B something that I really don't like doing
very much, but Bailey gets a big kick out of this.
It's called Dave's Wheel. Girl friend explained with this gun times.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Well, on this wheel that I have, I have the
names of all of Dave's past girlfriends, and Dave has
had a lot of girlfriends. So what I do is
I spin the wheel, the Dave's Wheel of girlfriends, and I.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Tell him the name and wheel. It just sound.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, it's a real world. It's a real wheel. I
love it so much and it takes a lot out
of me to spin it. Okay, and then you're going
to tell us a story about how you met, maybe
what happened between the two of you and why it ended.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Okay, spin that wheel?
Speaker 5 (29:16):
No, I'm.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Oh, okay, God, the same wheel from the lyrics shop.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Now, when is it? Joan tell us about Joan dates Joan.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I was twenty two, Joan was forty two. What and
Joan was? She was delightful, I mean that's really all
there was. She meet her, she came to a celebrity
car wash that I was doing and got her car washed,
and then we went over to her house to watch
TV and you know, one thing another yeah, and she
(29:52):
was very lucky to be, you know, like, you know,
dating a guy at twenty years.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Younger than how long did you date for?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Like fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes, maybe three weeks or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Would you say that you invented Netflix and jail?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, I would say that if you google it, if
you google that, yeah, you'll see me. And then and
then I moved away, and then she moved away. And
then we met up in her hometown in Florida somewhere,
and she wanted to hook up and I just didn't
really want to. I remember she was trying to like
seduce me, and I was like.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
What was wrong with her? At that point?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I don't remember. I just wasn't interested anymore.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Is she still around? I mean, she's twenty years older.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
All right, thank you, that's.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
All we about.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
Nope, spend that.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Now.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Kim tell us about Kim.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Kim came to the radio station with her sisters and
they were standing there and I remember Kim and I
kind of like made eye contact, and I would go
over to her house and she would make me merry
kitchen corn beef hash and we went to the Earth
Wind and Fire show, and and then I told her
(31:07):
we're too different.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
You're too different, We're too different. Why were you different?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Because I didn't want a date her anymore?
Speaker 4 (31:14):
Oh so that was just an excuse. Yeah, she sounds perfect.
She made you food. You went to earth Wind and Fire.
That sounds great.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Too different because she was up having a good time
at the concert and you were sitting in the hall.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Oh you suck probably again.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Do you remember arms crossing? I don't like him? All right?
Thank you? Spin that wheel? Oh, tell us about.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Dawn uh Down told me what a blunkin was? Told
you or she does? She told me what a blunkin was.
I never knew what a blunk and you know what
a blunkin is. I found out on the show. Yeah. Yeah,
so that's one thing she told me. And then she
also I think she was she was eighteen, but she
(32:10):
lied and told me that she was my age. Huh uh.
And then she old were you twenty three?
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Isha?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
And then She told me later that she wasn't on
the pill, and I'm like, well, you could have told
me that before.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You were twenty three. Why haven't you learned your lesson
by that point? Didn't she already have a child?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Annoy annoyed?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Annoyed?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
What is a lesson?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Funny thing is we're still friends on Facebook?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh wow, you should reach out to her today.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Not today, No, no, no, no never. We're done now,
that is all weird that time. Nobody enjoys this bit,
except a lot.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Of people are texting.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Nobody is texting, and that they enjoy this bit.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
All right, you're gonna tell us about Janet. And it
looks like there might have been more than one Janet,
so tell us about one of them.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
One Janet one was a doctor. She was a psychiatry,
and she was a larger girl. And I went to
her house and there was a big divot in her
bed from her body because she was a larger girl.
But she was a doctor. And she drove a sports
car and I thought that was pretty cool.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
How did you meet her?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
She called the radio station? Yeah, start And so we
had a really nice time and and she was a doctor.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
How long did you date her for.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, three six months, something like three months. And there
was another Janet. Here's the more interesting too. So this
Janet was I met her somewhere with the radio station,
and so we'd been dating for you know, I don't know,
a couple of three weeks or a month or whatever.
And then we're at a station event and one of
my buddies, who was a DJ, elbows me and points
(33:43):
at Janet and he said, I hooked up with her
last night. So Janet had cheated on me with Charlie
McGraw on the radio station. Yeah, co worker, is good,
my coworker.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
And he told you, like, here's some spicy piece of information.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You were like, yeah, did you stock him in the eye? No,
I didn't really blame him because he didn't know I
blamed her. So he was just telling you. He wasn't
trying to rub in your face. No, like I slepped
to your girl.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Wow, what a scarlet woman, that Janet. Can we spend
it one more time?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
No story? Will you calm him down? Nobody enjoys this.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Okay, all right, you're gonna tell us all about Sharon.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Sharon was the one that accident, No, no, accidentally, no, no, no, no, no, no,
what she do?
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Sorry we've heard before, because I feel.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Like you heard yes one, Yeah, finish it for me.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Is this the one who accidentally let out a turd?
Is cut out right and whiless enjoying the leff hen you.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Should be in shamed of yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
You're one who did it.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I didn't do nothing. She's the one who did it.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So that is the correct one. Yeah, she passed a turn.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Okay, can you just not spit it the Dave Ryan Show,
not the Bailey Show.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
No, it's the Bailey Show right now?
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Because I want to hear about your girlfriend Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
No, why not?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
No, I'm not going to I'm done, Vanessa. Maybe some
other time, all right. I'm shocked at the number of
people who support that bit.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
That's my favorite bit.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
I don't think I've ever come up with anything as
brilliant as that bit in my life.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
It was a very good idea.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Thank you, Thank you so much, thank you. And honestly,
there's still so many names still on this wheel.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Somebody text me it was like, is this real? Is like, yes,
these are all real stories of Dave and his past.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's funny how each one has a story though. Yeah,
there was there. I don't think there's anyone that didn't
have a story.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
I like that you remember exactly who they are because
it was they meant something to me.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
I but like that you remember them even by name.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
That too, and you gave me a list of all
their names, because if you asked me like spin My Wheel,
I would be like, well, there was the beat boxer.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Yeah, there was exactly how too, I would maybe be
like Jake cowbo Jacks, or mine would be like Country
USA twenty ten, right, Like I wouldn't actually maybe have
some of the names.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, because you like random, meaningless hookups. Mine were all
people that I respected and had a good time with
and took them out to Red Lobster and fired some
cheddar Bay biscuits down her throat.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
You were you were like way horny or you wanted
action all the time, whereas I was just like the
party girl who would get action when I felt like it.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Yeah, me, and then when I got it, I was
over it. I was like, get out. Were you ever
single in your youth, Dave? Yeah, sounds like no.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
No, No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
No.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I was always I've always wanted to send you go
play golf with and go fired cheddar bab biscuits down
her throat.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
That sounds nice, me alone, Okay,
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