Featuring Steven Gaffney, communications consultant for Fortune 500 companies

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The following is a paid podcast.iHeartRadio's hosting of this podcast constitutes neither an
endorsement of the products offered or theideas expressed. It's time for Mind Your

(00:28):
Business on seven ten w R andthe iHeart Radio Network to present the weekly
business radio show produced by the awardwinning marketing firm bottom Line Marketing Group b
LMG, sharing business and marketing strategiesto make you and your business successful.
Now here's your host, the presidentand founder of bottom Line Marketing Group,

(00:49):
Yets Hawks Sapless. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another incredible edition of Mind
Your Business right here on seven tenWAR the voice of New York. We
have an incredible guest. But beforeI do a special thank you to every
guest and of course to the incrediblelistenership of this show. Well, without
further ado, Tonight's guest Stephen Gaffney. He's no stranger to the airwaves here

(01:15):
because we've had him on a coupleof times. He is an expert on
building powerful teams and dealing with challenges, dealing with difficult people, dealing with
delicate situations. He's mastered it.His clients include Fortune five hundred companies.
We cannot list them, but manyFortune five one hundred companies, and we've

(01:38):
slipped in the past that I thinkit's the US Army or the US Navy,
and he doesn't. He's for thosewatching on YouTube probably he's not turning
off his camera. He's not denyingit. It's not confirming it either,
but we've found that. But youknow what, let's I don't want to
get in any trouble here, Sookay, Well, first of all,
I guess you know I gotta bea mench especially I'm talking to someone who's
like the consummate mentioned. I gottathank my team. You have a great

(02:01):
team here at bottom Line Marketing GroupBLMG, and they make this show happen
weekend a week out. In particular, I think Michaels really Nachi DJ,
and of course so many others.Special thank you to Darren Peter and Robert
out at seven to ten, warzeb Brenner. Thank you for the shout
out before and to all those whostopped me from all the different channels that

(02:23):
we are syndicated on. Without furtherado. Stephen Gaffney, he just came
out with another book. Stephen,is this what number six? Number seven?
What number fifth book, the fifthbook. Okay, but you know
it's just I've My relationship with Stephenbegan back I think it was around twelve

(02:44):
thirteen years ago. I was inthe airport and I picked up one of
his books in the airport terminent.I'm like, Wow, this guy's one
smart guy. I'm like, wegot to get him on the show.
And sure enough, we've had anumber of incredible conversations. And by the
way, if you go to ourYouTube channel, you can access any of
the previous shows we've had, andwe've discussed some very delicate, you know

(03:07):
concepts. You know business. Youknow, people have to deal with a
lot of different types of situations inbusiness, and Stephen as the master and
it just cuts right through it.He just understands people. And that's why
Fortune five companies turned to him.And today we're gonna be talking about his
new release, Unconditional Power, asystem for thriving in any situation, no

(03:29):
matter how frustrating, complex, orunpredictable. Now, by the way,
what a title? What a subtitlefor? You know, before I even
jump in with my questions based onthe book, maybe you could even like,
oh, what was the backstory likewhat was involved in coming up with
that title and subtitle for this masterpiece? Well, have you ever noticed when

(03:49):
you're in a good mood, you'resmarter? And so when you think about
it, right, we've all hadthis experience where we're in a good mood,
somebody throws us a problem and we'relike, no problem, I got
is handled. And then we've allbeen in a situation where we're in a
down mood, maybe lack of sleep, stress, something's going on in our
life, and somebody throws us aproblem and we're like, here we go

(04:09):
again. And so what I realizedis that people's success has a lot to
do with their mood. And verysuccessful people get how they are in charge
of their mood, they're in chargeof their attitude. So how do you
do this consciously? What we knowto do really that's really critical in our
life. So a lot of peopleare really good at this, but they

(04:30):
do by accident, and that's noproblem as long as it's working. But
when we run into problems, weneed to know how to do this consciously.
So I started down this path becauseI've suffered from moods. And I
don't mean like depression per se,but I mean, like, you know,
you're getting a down mood and it'syou know, eventually pick yourself up.
And but what if you could dothis on demand rather than by accident.

(04:51):
So I started down this book andresearch or whatever, and there's nine
strategies in there. And I'm reallyexcited about this book because I believe it
can make a huge difference people's lives, as it has with mine when I've
researched and executed accordingly. Now ina bit, we're gonna get to the
nine strategies in a bit, Butfirst let's talk about the real life,

(05:13):
day to day situation of a leader. They got to deal with pressure,
tremendous amount of pressure. What isa like kind of a quick fix?
This is really a really key questionhere. Someone they'd dealing with that situation.
They have a team of five people, fifty people, five hundred people,

(05:34):
five thousand people, and they're dealingThey're putting out fires. They also
have to keep an eye on vision. It's it's real and it's coming at
them like a freight train. Whatis something that that they could just be
mindful of and say, all right, I got this. So the big

(05:56):
thing is, and I think thisis appropriate for now and all kinds of
situation is we only one person wecan focus on and that we can control,
and that is ourselves. That's it. So within a company, within
a team, within an individual,it's basically the only people we can ever
controls ourselves. So what happens isthat when face with adversity, face with

(06:16):
changes, face with the difficult,whether it's economy or trends or whatever,
is it's easy to be outward focusedwhen we really need to be inward focused.
Inward focus about what we're going todo outwardly. So what I work
with a lot of leaders on isto making sure that people focus one hundred
percent of their energy on what theycan do and don't waste any time on

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what they can't do. So youcan't control the economy, but you can
control how you respond to the economy. You can't control that you just lost
a big proposal, but you cancontrol what you're going to do about it,
Like lessons, learn how we're goingto move forward. There's all kinds
of things, but what happens isthat people tend to be outward focused when
they need to be inward focused tohandle the outward focus. Now amazing how

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you just you make these difficult questionssound so simple. You know, here
is another key question in the preparationfor the night show, and that is
could you please provide guidance on thefine line between And this applies to leadership
goal goal setting, holding people accountableyet at the same time not being too

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overbearing. So here's the thing aboutgoals. It should be inspiring and aspirational.
And what I mean by that isit's nobody's really motivated to have a
goal towards fixing problems. We're justnot motivating. I mean, can you
imagine we need to have a conversation. We're gonna try to fix these problems.
But if I said to you,our goal is to excel beyond these

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problems and be better than we everwere before. And so we're going to
handle these problems, but it's inorder to not just resolve it, not
just be resilient. But it's aboutperseverance. So my experience is people will
really come to the plate if theysee a bright future, but not just
about trying to get back to wherewe were in the past. So it's
always about excelling. You can thinkabout it this way. If we're not

(08:11):
progressing in life, we are regressing. There is no such thing as status
quo, So goals at they're aspirational. What I mean by that is it
should be an exciting future, notjust handling problems, but where we ultimately
want to go. And then accountabilityis an interesting word because a lot of
it is just used to kind ofbeat on people. You know, what
I'm saying is a bad word,but I actually think it's a great word.

(08:33):
And what we really need to lookat is being self accountable. So
if an organization, everybody is selfaccountable, then it takes a lot less
pressure for us to hold others accountable. And here's what I mean by this.
Self accountable means we do what wesay we're going to do without having
someone have to follow up. Inother words, no babysitting. Just think

(08:54):
about you, those leaders out there, those managers, and you know,
we lead up, we lead down, we lead across. How often we
spend our time babysitting people who saythey're going to do something and they don't
deliver. So if everybody's self accountable, they do what they say they're going
to do without their requirement of followingup, we can save enormous amounts of

(09:16):
time. And that's what I've donewith a lot of my clients is they've
learned this concept, they've instilled thisclient and this concept, and then they've
been able to excel Accordingly, we'respeaking with Stephen Gaffney and we're discussing some
of the key points. Although stillgo out and buy the book, because
this is just a teaser, butwe are addressing some of the key points
that he has in his new release, Unconditional Power, a system for thriving

(09:41):
in any situation, no matter howfrustrating, complex or unpredictable. And if
there's one person to tackle this insanelycomplicated subject, it's Stephen Gaffney. Stephen,
how can people find out more aboutthis book and to get in touch
with your firm? The easiest waysto go to our website Just be honest
dot com. Just be honest dotcom. And if they say they saw

(10:03):
this show, we're going to sendthem a document that actually goes through some
of the key distinctions. Obviously notthe whole book, but some things so
they can excel. But they gotto cite this show, so they go
to just be honest dot com.Amazing, We'll be back after the short
commercial break. Stay tuned. Thirtyyears of marketing secrets and a newsletter is

(10:24):
that even possible? Go to bottomline brew dot com to learn how to
grow your customer base and boost yourbottom line. Have the bottom Line Brew
weekly newsletter delivered straight to your inbox. Well, you'll learn from Fortune five
hundred executives such as Beth Compstock andJoe Hart. Go to bottom line brew
dot com. That's bottom line brewdot com. Brew up some free marketing

(10:45):
secrets at bottom line brew dot com. Take your company's leadership and management skills
to new heights. Imagine soaring throughthe sky in a military grade ater the
five Flight Simulators just as the realthing. I'm Kobe Reggae, CEO and

(11:07):
founder of the Squadron, and I'ma former fighter pilot and a Squadron commander
in the Israeli Air Force. Ourworkshops offer an empowering training experience that will
push your boundaries and help unleash yourcompany's full potential. Visit us at the
Squadron dot com to learn more.That's the Squadron dot com to learn more.

(11:35):
A defining moment in your life couldbe transformational, and when that moment
comes, you need to be preparedwith emotional intelligence. Hi. I'm Chuck
Garcia, author of Amazon's best sellerAcclimb to the Top, and my new
book called The Moment That Defines YourLife is coming out in February twenty twenty
four. Learn how to integrate modernpractices of emotional intelligence with classic Stone philosophies.

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(13:09):
And we're back mind your business hereon seven ten. W O R
the Voice of the Arc and I'mtreated treated to an incredible guest, Stephen
Gaffney. Stephen, it's always greatto have you on the show and Mozeltov
on your new release, Unconditional Power, and it is I mean every time

(13:31):
he puts out a book and againI read his book way back when and
there was was that That's that's whenI bought in. I'm like, I
gotta be in touch with this guy, Stephen. And every single time he
does this show, he just hitsit out of the park. And he
said, even you know, offthe air between by the commercial break,
he said, it's like, askme anything, It's okay, and I'm
like, all right, I will, and it's it's you know, it's

(13:56):
just so incredible to be able toaddress the you know, the situations that
many times people just prefer to dodgeto avoid sweep under the carpet, and
it doesn't get better, Right,it doesn't. I mean, I mean,
just before we get to my nextquestion, how you know how let's
even address the pain? How badis it? Does it does? Let

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me ask it this way. Doesit ever get better? When someone's ignoring
a situation that is contentious, thatis bad, that's going downhill? How
important is it to put out thefire and deal with it as soon as
possible? It's critical, Right,So we all grew up with time heals
all wounds. That's actually not true. Time deepens wounds and deepens problems.

(14:41):
Contractual problems left alone get better,get worse. They always get worse.
Right, Relationship problems that we havewith somebody, if we leave it alone,
it may appear like it gets better, but that's because we've reduced the
interaction. But all it takes isfor us to be back in and talking
to that person, and it's itgets even worse. So relationship problems left

(15:01):
alone get worse, not better.Our health left alone problems. Health problems
left alone get worse, not better. So the thing is, what all
big problems that organizations deal with atone time were a small problem that we
neglected. We really have to dealwith it. Just this morning, For
example, I was talking to aclient of mine around some safety issues,

(15:22):
and so there's now starting to creepup some things. And as you know
from previous sessions, the biggest problemis not what people say, it's what
they don't say to each other andgetting that unsaid. Said, Well,
what happens is these little issues thatwe talked about, And I was talking
with a client of mine, youknow, a small safety issues, nothing
that made but he's concerned, andI'm concerned listening to him. That left

(15:43):
alone, that's going to grow,and then it's going to trend upward and
then there's going to be a majorproblem. But quite often somebody much if
it's not a big deal, it'sjust a small, little problem. But
that's when we need to deal withit. We need to deal with the
small problems. You know, somebodywrote a book you're ago called Don't Swear
the Small Stuff. I think it'swrong. We needed to sweat the small
stuff because the small stuff turns intobig stuff that we've neglected, and then

(16:07):
we've got major problems on our hand. Handle the small stuff. Wow.
And by the way, in termsof time, heals old wounds, so
that that that's a good point that'simportant to address it head on. Of
course, God created the gift thatover time, anything that was painful,
you know, starts to recede intointo a distant memory. But the fact
that we gotta address issues head onis a key aspect, a key question

(16:33):
now. And this has to dowith leadership and high achievement and you discussed
this in the book. Can youplease share the three moods that matter most
to accomplishing hot you know, tobecoming a high achievement individual. So thank
you for raising that because I'm verypassionate around it. So when we talk

(16:55):
about we're in a good mood,we're smarter. There are three types of
moods to consider. The first moodis a powerless mood, and we've all
been there where we've thought what differencecan I make? I'm only one person.
Then there's the second type of mood, and this is the big one,
and that's conditionally conditionalism or conditionally powerfuland that's where we recognize that we

(17:15):
have some power, but it's conditionalon certain things. For example, I
might say I can get that doneas long as I have more time,
as long as I have more resources, as long as I have more money,
as long as I have more people, as long as something. Now,
those are legitimate conditions, but theproblem is I'm giving away my power
and it's somewhat dependent on those conditions. But the desirable mood is the third

(17:37):
mood, which is what the bookis about to get there, and that's
being unconditionally powerful. Unconditionally powerful meanswe are powerful despite the conditions. It
doesn't mean we ignore the conditions,but we focus one hundred percent of our
energy on what we're going to doabout the situation. So, if you
think about it, powerless is we'reexternally focused. Additional is we're kind of

(18:00):
focused a little externally and then focusedinternally what we're going to do about it.
But unconditionally powerful leaders and organizations focusone hundred percent of their energy on
what they're going to do about thesituation. So if you lost a big
client, what are you going todo about the situation? If you see
the trend in with your marketplace isn'tgoing in the right direction, what are

(18:21):
you going to do about this?And don't allow yourself to have excuses.
So the thing is with being unconditionallypowerful, it's three areas. We take
responsibility we believe anything is possible,and we take action. So this is
about how to get ourselves and otherpeople consistently being unconditionally powerful. And there's

(18:42):
nine strategies on how to do thatso that people, when they read the
book and we can talk about it, they can see exactly what to do
about it. Now, Stephen,I'm not holding you to now to start
going through all nine, but perhapsyou could share some of the key strategies
on how they can actually go aboutWell, let's choose one that's really easy,

(19:03):
Make the unaware aware. So makethe unaware aware is where we bring
awareness. So right now, aspeople listen to this, I would encourage
them to play this interview with theirteam and raise the question where are we?
Are we being powerless? Are webeing conditional? Are we being unconditionally
powerful? So just this morning Ihad a client of mind as a matter
of fact, that I had taughtthem this distinction, and they were wrestling

(19:26):
with a problem and he said tome, you know, people were complaining
and all he said was, allright, folks, where are we being
and how would we approach us ifwe're unconditionally powerful? And he said within
two minutes, two minutes now,in this situation that just happened this morning,
my client was telling me about theyhad shifted the whole mindset and they
were focused and started offering solutions anda game plan moving ahead. So by

(19:48):
bringing this awareness around this distinction andreminding people, it has people go to
the unconditionally powerful, because nobody wantsto be powerless. Nobody says, you
know, I love being it reallyexcites my life. Or I love being
conditionally powerful. I love kind ofdepending on other people and focusing my energy
on on what's not within my controlmakes me really happy. No, it's

(20:11):
about unconditionally powerful, even happiness.For example, somebody once said, happiness
is an inside job. We generateour happiness from internal to external, and
so so much of this is justbeing awareness to ourselves and other people.
And by doing this and then listeningto this interview, watching this interview,
it can automatically shift people in yourlife. Before we go to a commercial

(20:33):
break. I mean, there's onlyso many takeaways that I that fly through
the mind when I speak to you. But let's hold on to that happiness
is an inside job. Oh isthat great and so critical? So perhaps
you could even hold on to thatfor a second. The importance of realizing
it starts with you. It startswith you, It starts internally. Happiness

(20:56):
is an inside job. I'll giveyou another to take on. This transformation
is a transformation is an inside job. So so many people want other people
to change, but the transformation,the change begins with ourselves. And so
I see, I work with leaderswho are trying to perform major organizational changes,
but the first transformation has to startwith that leader, that mindset,

(21:17):
those skill set, that way ofapproaching it. How are they approaching it?
And the greatest leaders I've ever workedwith, the greatest CEOs, admirals
and generals, whenever they're focused,whenever there's a problem, they focus on
themselves first and what are they goingto do about it? Being unconditionally powerful.
So a lot of this is internallyfocused. Again, so we can
become externally focused and change our circumstances. Now, I just got to hold

(21:42):
on for a second here. Well, I'm going to ask the obvious question
that's on the mind of anyone listeningand watching the show. How does And
it's just a heavy one, butmaybe you can get to this in five
minutes or less. If that's possible. How in the world does the executive,
does the general, etc. Theleader then implement their vision in a

(22:06):
way that's palful, that's palatable,and gains buying from the troops, the
team, the employees, the company. Great question too, because it's all
right, how do we get otherright buying and movement right? And so
that one of the strategies of theUnconditionally Powerful Book and then we go through

(22:29):
is around how do you persuade otherpeople? And there's four elements to consider,
the pain, the gain, theemotions, and logic. So the
first is the pain. So theysay human beings are two to three times
more likely to avoid pain than seekgain. So, for example, if
you and I were talking about,you know, it would be great if
you did this and all this greatstuff, you might say, yeah,

(22:52):
it'd be great, but what's wrongwith now? And you could make an
argument, okay, But if Isay, look, things are changing and
we must constantly change. So forexample, I do a lot with daily
innovation, and the idea is infecton the phone with another client of mind
and they were talking about scaling andthe importance of innovation and why is it

(23:15):
important to innovate daily when we're successful, because if not, we're going to
be left behind. You know again, if we're not progressing, we are
regressing. So making clear of thepain of what's going to happen if we
don't change, then the game right, because it can't all be like you
need to change because otherwise bad thingsare going to happen. We need to
give people hope, aspiration, agreat vision, and then we have to

(23:37):
connect with people emotionally, which wecould talk about. And then you have
to give people logic information because evenif you get people emotionally connected, if
they don't see the reason why todo something, it won't stick right.
They'll be all charged up. It'slike having a great cup of coffee and
then you're like wow and then allright, but it doesn't sustain. So
logic is important for sustainment. Sowe can get into all this, but

(24:00):
building an argument around the pain,the gain, the emotional element, and
the logic is critical. Or speakingwith Stephen Gaffney and we're discussing his newly
released book on Conditional Power, asystem for thriving in any situation, no
matter how frustrating, complex, orunpredictable. Stephen, where is the book?

(24:22):
How can people go out and purchasethe book. They can get it
anywhere like Amazon, Barnes and Nobleand whatever the case may be. And
when they get the book, ifthey don't mind right now, it's a
great testimonial, they'd be great too, as they could see by going on
Amazon, you can see all thegreat testimony has already posted. But that's
the thing. Get the book excellentand how can people find out more information?

(24:42):
For the companies out there that arelooking to hire an experts such as
yourself, thank you. So ifthey go to just be honest dot com,
just beyonest dot com and there.What's interesting also about our website is
there's a team health calculator. Soif you want to kind of judge the
health of your team, and youcan look at the team as a you
know, just two people, butyou could also look at as a team

(25:04):
as a whole company, there's away to measure and you the health of
a team. And so that's free. I mean, if you go to
the website and if they can't seemto find it, or if there's any
issues, or if they just wantmore information, either way, just be
honest dot com. We'll be backright after this commercial break with Stephen.
A defining moment in your life couldbe transformational, and when that moment comes,

(25:30):
you need to be prepared with emotionalintelligence. Hi. I'm Chuck Garcia,
author of Amazon's best seller Acclimb tothe Top, and my new book
called The Moment That Defines Your Lifeis coming out in February twenty twenty four.
Learn how to integrate modern practices ofemotional intelligence with classic stoic philosophies.

(25:51):
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(27:44):
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(28:07):
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(29:40):
riding are on seven ten wore theVoice of New York a special hello for
those that are watching this on YouTube. Tennight show featuring Stephen Gaffney is discussing
his newly released book on Conditional Power, a system for thriving in any situation,
no matter how frustrating, complex,or pre They probably think to yourself,

(30:02):
that's a nice title. Could hereally deal with that head on?
And the answer is yes he can. He's written a number of books and
as mentioned earlier, you know,many years ago, I read maybe one
of his first releases, and Iwas like, Wow, this guy's really
smart. He really cuts like ahot knife through butter, you know,

(30:22):
through very delicate and complicated issues.And then I found out, yeah,
he serves this fortune five front thecompanies in the military. I'm like,
all right, now I get it. We gotta get him on the show.
So I say thank you for joiningus here once again, I mind
your business, Thank you for havingme. It's great, always great getting
on the set with you, Stephen. Before the break, you touch on

(30:45):
something that really would like to unpackfor the great listeners of the show,
and that is I'm gonna frame itthis way. What are the four keys?
You addressed it, but let's unpackit. There are four keys for
motivate and inspiring change. What arethose four keys? And can you please
explain each one because they're so key. Well, as we worked through real

(31:10):
briefly before the break, right,you got pain, gain, emotions,
and logics. So let's take oneby one. So first let's focus on
pain. You know, and Isaid, human beings are two or three
times more likely to avoid pain thanseek gain. But here's how this relates.
You know, often in life weput up with problems because we really
don't get what's the consequence if wekeep those problems up? Right, So

(31:33):
I remember one time a client ofmind kept saying, you know, it
turned into a client actually, andbecause he kept saying, Oh, we're
going to do work with you nextmonth, next month, next month,
and Finally I said to him,when he's like, oh, can you
call me in a month, Isaid, absolutely, But what's going to
be different. Maybe you don't needto bring myself in. He goes,
oh, yes, we do,and he explained some team issues and organizational

(31:53):
issues. I said, and Ilike to ask this question, not because
trying to be manipulated, but Ithink it's an important assessment. So what
so what if you don't handle thatproblem? He goes, well, then
we're gonna have this issue and thenyou know, we might lose some business.
And then I said, well howmuch business? And I said this
in a way where I'm not tryingto like gain the system. It's like
just really looking at the situation.And so I guided him through some situation,

(32:16):
some questions where he really came upwith, if we don't change the
dynamic, what is very predictable thatapp and like losing high achievers, losing
business and you know, putting quantityor you know, making it specific.
And then he immediately changed. I'llgive you another example on a personal level.
I had a client of mine andhe we're on a break and you

(32:39):
know, we're talking and he's smokinga cigarette and he said, you know
what I need. I need toquit smoking. And I said, yeah,
you know, it's obviously a goodthing to do that, and instantly
there's a good end to this story. But I just want to say this
because the next week he had aheart attack. Now here's the good news.
He fully recovered. But he's neversmoke. Sense. When the pain

(33:01):
is enough, people will change.And that's really important because you can do
all the motivational speaking and all thedreams and all that stuff conversation, which
is important, but we need tolook at what's going to happen if we
don't change this. What's going tohappen? What's very predictable. You know,
the best indicator of future behavior ispast behavior. So based on the

(33:22):
trajectory, if we don't take careof this issue, where is it likely
to go? And being very clearon the pain and having an accurate way
of viewing him. Let me giveyou one final example. I was working
with an organization that was, youknow, the CEO is you know,
guiding through a major organizational transformational change. And in this case, they were

(33:44):
good at describing you know, thebrighter future or whatever, but they were
doing a lousy job of explaining whatneeded to happen. What's going to happen
if we don't change? So whatwere people thinking? Well, you know,
I got it that we would benice to change and would be nice
to do all the stuff, Butwhat's wrong with the way we're doing it
now? We need to address what'swrong with the way we're doing something now

(34:06):
and making clear on the pain first, because without the pain, it's unlikely
to move people. Okay, sothat's pain. Now, let's continue on
to gain and the emotions and thelogic. So the gain is really important
because it's like where are we going? But then connecting people emotionally, So
when you think about it, allright, so we want to increase revenue

(34:29):
by thirty percent. All right,well that's a nice goal, and that's
what we're trying to do. Orwe want to be better at servicing the
customer, But so what why dothat? And we need to really get
in touch with the reasoning why we'redoing these goals and connecting it with the
overall purpose in people's lives. Letme give you an example. I do

(34:50):
a lot of work in national security, and you would think of any industry,
and I do work in hospitality,healthcare, all kinds of stuff.
But I'm choosing national security as anexample because most people would think that would
be easy to connect how our successfulgoals will help out our country. But
interesting enough, the national security areadoes a lousy job of reminding people why
we're here. It's not just toexecute on this system, security system,

(35:15):
weapons system, or whatever we're doinginformation, it's in order to protect our
country. And forgetting to connect itto the overall message even in the hospitality
industry, and or how about thisone. I was just working with a
client of mind around placing people recruiting, and so yeah, we need to
increase recruitment and all kinds of stuffand helping out, but let's look at

(35:37):
why that's important. Because when weplace people in the right job, it
makes a huge difference in their life, which makes a huge difference in their
family, which impacts their kids,which impacts their schools, and it's like
dropping a pebble in the pond andall the effects. So what's interesting is
reminding the gain and really being intouch with why that's so important, which

(36:00):
tackles the third area, which isconnecting people emotionally. Right again, I
could say we're going to increase ourrevenue by a certain percent. We're going
to try to get this project overthe line. But okay, but why
is this so important to do?And in touch with the why? The
so what? You know? Whatdifference does it make? You know?
I think a great question we needto ask ourselves is so what you know?

(36:23):
Well, I want to do that? So what? Well, it's
important that I do this now whyyou know why? And really getting in
touch with people emotionally so they areso charged up. It's not just a
goal, It's important to change thelives and other people, you know.
Interesting enough, I was saying tomy publisher, and I've said to people,
this book isn't just about oh,we got to get book sales or

(36:44):
whatever, all right, So that'sthat doesn't motivate me. What motivates me
is for people to read this bookand change their lives, and that in
turn changes other people's lives. That'swhat this book is all about, and
that's what we need to be allabout. Now. A key, because
one of the four keys here areais I'm sorry too, our emotions and
logic. Right, we discuss painand gain and emotions and logic. Here's

(37:06):
a really interesting question. Emotions isobviously so critical. We're all human and
we need to have some mission,vision and purpose and really believe in it
in order to be motivated. Yetat the same time, there's a logic
side to it which is more cutand dry, maybe like you know accounting
stuff. Is there a recommended balance, and I'm talking about in terms of

(37:30):
motivating and inspiring a team as itrelates for a leader motivating and inspiring a
team. What is the balance orwhat's your recommendation in terms of pushing the
emotions button and or the logic?But meaning is there almost like a certain
percentage go ninety percent emotional ten percentlogic. What's how do you? Here's

(37:53):
what I would say, Emotions makepeople move. Logic sustains the movement.
So emotions make people logic sustains themovement. Let me give you an easy
example. You go to the storeand you buy something spontaneously, right you're
driving home or wherever you're going,and you're thinking, well, I deserve
that, and you know, youknow I work hard. You've already made

(38:14):
the decision to buy it. Butthen when you get home and you start
thinking about it, then the logicsets in. Now, if the logic
doesn't support the decision you've already made. Emotionally, you're going to reverse the
decision. So it's important because ideala lot with scientists, engineers and technical
folks, and typically we can easilydump a lot of information and we are

(38:36):
frustrating. Look at all that dataand what's its showing? We should make
a move? We should move.But you can present all the data in
the world unless you connect with peopleemotionally, it's not moving, but it
is. Data is important, butit's in order to sustain where we want
to ultimately go. So it's adance. It's the emotions and logic.
We need both. You can't justbe in touch with people emotionally. It's

(38:59):
about emotional with logic. But weneed to do both. But here's the
interesting thing. People will easily deferto giving somebody all the reasons why.
And I know I said reasons whybefore, but I meant reasons why in
this context as data instead of connectingwith people emotionally as well. So it's
an end not an ore. Okay. Now, in the book, you

(39:22):
discuss the five characteristics of a powerfulculture. Could you please take all that
well, So let's take a lookat this. So we're talking about unconditionally
powerful. Right, that's the mood, that's the mindset, and so the
big takeaway there is moral matters.You know, people say, oh what
difference. You know, if peopleare down or stressed, it's going to

(39:43):
impact their performance. So it's aboutunconditionally powerful. And there's five characteristics of
a powerful culture. So think abouta powerful culture is a culture in which
we are unconditionally powerful. So howdo we create that culture? Well,
there's five characteristics, and one ofthem is to take responsibility for our attitude
and actions. So when we're beingpowerful, unconditionally powerful, and that powerful

(40:06):
culture, we're in an organization inwhich we don't blame, we take responsibility
for our attitude and actions. Inother words, people are going to do
what they're gonna do, but whatam I going to do about it?
You can't control what happens necessarily,but you can't control how you respond to
it. Along the lines of whatwe talked about before, we're not blaming
other people for our circumstances. We'renot blaming other people for our attitude.

(40:30):
It's we're taking responsibility. I'm notsaying we live in a vacuum it doesn't
really matter what people do. ButI'm saying, ultimately we are in the
driver's seat, So let me sayit in a different way because it's so
critical to get this is powerless iswe're in the backseat of our car.
Conditionally powerful is we're in the frontpassenger seat we're trying to urge the driver

(40:52):
to go in a certain way.But unconditionally powerful is when we're driving our
own car. We recognize traffic andjam and potholes, but what are we
going to do about it? Sotake responsibility for attitude and actions is critical
to be in the driver's seat.Or speaking with Stephen Gaffney and we're discussing
his new release, Unconditional Power,a system for thriving in any situation,

(41:15):
no matter how frustrating, complex orunpredictable. That's a toll order, but
Steven tackles it head on. Stephen, are the books available nationwide absolutely and
the Amazon, Barnes and Noble,Then go anywhere with it as you can
see it posting. Of course theyrun in any difficult to get in the
book, please send us an emailbecause that means there's a problem. They

(41:37):
should be able to get it anyway. And by the way, there have
been a number of featured guests onthe show have reported to me that Fortune
five hundred companies have actually reached outto them because they heard them on the
show. Maybe there's some of themout there that are saying, Hey,
you know, I got to speakto this guy, Stephen. How can
they get in touch with you ifthey go to just be honest dot com?

(41:59):
Just beyond our comment to your point. You know, I've taught entire
organizations around this distinction, around thiswhole powerful unconditionally powerful, which I want
to make a really important point.Many people write books and then they speak
about it. This is the opposite. I've been speaking about this topic,
giving these strategies, and then Iwrote the book. The reason why is

(42:22):
all of these strategies and everything we'retalking about is tried and true things that
actually work. So this is somethingwhere I was thinking and then now I'm
speaking about it. It's actually I'vebeen speaking about it and now I chose
to write about it. Amazing andagainst been speaking about it and dealing with
it for the military and Fortune fivecompanies. All right, no comment.

(42:45):
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(44:59):
To learn. To be successful,you need to understand what you do best
and do more of it. Oneof the gifts I believe that we have
as entrepreneurs to be blue sky visionaries. Come up with amazing ideas, Yet
you're only as good as your execution. I've always had coaches my entire life.
Once I got into business, coachingfor me was a natural must have.

(45:22):
What I found in the past wasmost coaching programs were more focused around
me earning a certain amount of incomeor taking a certain amount of time off
versus me building a business that hasvalue far beyond me. As soon as
I engaged the Covenant Group, Icould distinctly see that difference. Working with
the Covenant Group, I've gotten awayfrom being controlling about so many of the

(45:44):
facets of our business. It hasgiven the people that are in my organization
freedom to be creative, freedom toactually develop better ways to do things.
I need a coach to help evaluatethose things I'm blind to. If you
have a blind spot, you don'tsee it without the coach. The uss
in and of itself is powerful,but the coach makes it work for a
guy like me, and I think, frankly for most people. And one

(46:07):
of the greatest benefits of working withthe Covenant Group is helping to identify what
is it I do best. Myname is Keith de Dumming. I'm norm
Trainer. We educated courtro entrepreneurs tobuild a high performance business. Learn more
by visiting www. Dot Covenant Groupdot com and we're back. Mind your

(46:32):
business with the SUCCE aplis right hereon seven ten w R The Voice of
New York. Yes, thank youfor joining us for this incredible edition featuring
Stephen Gaffney and we're discussing his latestrelease, Unconditional Power, a system for
thriving in any situation, no matterhow frustrating, complex or unpredictable. And
if you've just tuned in and youyour single, what someone can really deal

(46:54):
with that head on? Yes,Steven has dealt with that head on for
the military and for five hundred companies, and now he wrote the book.
The book is available at bookstores nationwideand of course on Amazon, and on
tonight show, we are discussing someof the key aspects that relate, not
that we're giving away everything from thebook naturally. In the how many pages

(47:15):
is the book? How many questions? Yeah, it was like two fifty
something like that. I mean,you really packed in a tremendous amount in
this uh, in this book andthe you know, yeah yeah, let's
check it. You have the hardcoverone day, right, yeah, yeah,

(47:35):
yeah, here we are one hundredand eighty pages. All right,
but you you sure packing a lot. I remember even that first one that
I picked up that I talked aboutearlier in the show, that I picked
up in the one of the airportbookstores. It was a little cute book.
Maybe it had like eighty pages,but I'm like, whoa you You
also have a way, you havea way of of of making it very
very succinct and just kind of likehitting directly onto the message that you're looking

(48:01):
to bring out instead of just goingon and on and droning about something like
you just get cut straight through it. And of course anyone listening to the
show tonight hears that, like,wow, yeah, this guy cuts right
through it. Okay, we havea little around ten minutes left, and
I would like to discuss the importanceabout in leadership showing appreciation. You have

(48:21):
a quote from the book we EnjoyReceiving Appreciation again referring to leaders. We
enjoy receiving appreciation, yet we failedto express our appreciation for others. So
first, can you address the mindsetkind of maybe like why that is and
how important is it for a leaderto be cognizant and realize that if you
want great buying, you want greatengagement, you want your ideas to see

(48:45):
success, make sure to show appreciationto those that are helping you get there.
So we do more of what we'reappreciated for. We do more for
what we do more with what we'reappreciated for. And the reason why that's
really important to understand is whatever wewant people to do more of, we
want to appreciate them to do itright. So and you might say,

(49:07):
okay, well, what's an examplewhere this could be kind of an issue.
Well, let's take somebody who's notachieving, not doing a great job,
and you coach them and they startto show improvement. It's easy to
look at what they're still not doingright, and so you might be tempted
to say, well, they stillhaven't done all these other aspects. But
if we don't appreciate them for theaspects of what they are now moving,

(49:30):
what they've changed, they can justgive up. An easy example of this
is like you get complaints that youhaven't taken out the garbage, so you
take out the garbage at home andyour significant other says, well, I'm
glad you'll finally took out the garbage. You don't say, oh my gosh,
I can't wait to take out thegarbage again. You're like, oh,
forget it, I can't do anythingright. So appreciation is really really

(49:52):
critical because we just are so programmedto look at what's not working. But
this also is really challeng with highachievers. That we do it first with
ourselves too. We don't even appreciateour own achievements because we're always focused on
what's next. So the interesting thingabout working with some of the best admirals,
generals and CEOs is this is alot harder, and they recognize how

(50:14):
hard it is because they're programmed tolook at what's wrong and how do we
make things better. So even ifwe don't need appreciation that much, others
do need appreciation. And I'll leaveyou also with this, Nobody's ever said,
you know, I'm the reason whyI'm leaving my job is because I
was appreciated too much. People thankyou too much. I had to leave.

(50:35):
There's this too much appreciation, youknow, being silly because people how
about this? Nobody ever gets adivorced by saying, you know, I
need a divorce because there's just toomuch love and appreciation in my marriage.
I'm out of here. It's neverthat. It's the opposite, right.
So where people say, can youappreciate people too much? Maybe, but
by and far we don't appreciate peopleenough. The idea is to appreciate.

(50:58):
Now what are and that was anexcellent I say appreciation an excellent. The
way you explained it all on theimportance of having that appreciation mindset. Perhaps
you can give some examples for effectiveappreciation members. So many people are not

(51:19):
necessarily wired. They don't you know, a note, a voicemail, a
conversation. Perhaps you can give someactual like I just want to present it
to the audience in a way that'spractical that they can implement on this,
I'll give you an example. Soone kind of mine, on the way
home, he would leave voicemail messagesin people's office after they knew they had

(51:40):
left and leave appreciations. And anotherkind of mine who struggled with this.
What she ended up doing was schedulingtime every Friday a meeting, and it
was a meeting with herself around appreciation. So she would be focused on what
she needed to appreciate others for andthen she would send out emails or calls

(52:00):
accordingly. Because for some it's natural, but for a lot of people it's
not. And if you don't builda structure in your life around something you
want to grow and there you wantto grow, we'll slip right back.
It'll be a nice concept, Butwhat do we do? So it's important
to build that structure. Now regardingtips to how to make an effective appreciation,
because some people have got received appreciation, but it's meaningless and it's like

(52:22):
thanks, thanks for your hard work. Well okay, yeah, but so
here's the two important elements. Specificresults oriented. So it's a world of
difference between me saying, you know, thanks for doing a great job.
Okay, well that's fine, Butif I say thanks for doing a great
job specifically when you ask me thatquestion about unconditional power, reminded me about

(52:44):
the difference we need to make ineverybody's lives, so hopefully that will make
a huge difference. Or thanks fordoing that report because as a result of
that, it was specific and itanswered everything I needed and give me all
the information. But then if Iadd the results, it makes it even
better. So specific thanks for doingthe report. You know, it had

(53:06):
all the information and as a result, we got this to our customer and
they are so excited with that information. They've been sharing it and we've really
lit them up and they really arenow looking at and are going to hire
us for another project. So it'sspecific results oriented. But here's the thing
I want to say about this.Let's not over complicated by far just appreciated.

(53:29):
But if you remember being specific andresults oriented, it'll ensure that any
compliment, any appreciation is well receivedand makes a difference in people's lives.
Yeah. In fact, Stephen,do you get my notes when I when
I mail? Not? Its liketwice a year I do. And what
I also notice is even in ourcorrespondence, you're very specific. You know,

(53:50):
you could say thanks for being onthe show, but you're always very
specific, and it really makes ahuge difference for me and you know,
and it's just a great lesson learnsspecific, results orient It makes a huge
difference. And here's the greatest thingabout what we're talking about. What we're
talking about doesn't cost any money.You don't have to go give somebody an
award, although that's nice, youdon't have to do if you at least

(54:12):
just verbally or written, just dothis. So this is basically something free
for people to do. So therereally is no complaint around doing it.
And here's something else to consider.Why not appreciate our boss? You know,
so often as somebody will say,well, my boss doesn't appreciate me,
and I'll say, well, howoften do you appreciate your boss,
And people say, why don't wantmy boss to misinterpret like I'm you know,

(54:32):
trying to make it sweet talking.Well, you can say that,
look, but I really appreciate likeI've worked with many people say you know,
my boss is the best leader I'veever had. And I'll say,
well, do you ever say thatto your leader? And they'll usually say
no, why not say that,you know, as a leader of your
organization. And most leaders the mostthing they hear about as complaints. They
don't tend to get appreciations. Theydon't tend to get nice calls. It's

(54:57):
always a call with a problem.So when you get a call saying something
nice, it makes really a differencein people's lives. Credible as we close
out the show, tonight's show isof course featuring Stephen Gaffney, and we're
discussing his new release, Unconditional Power, a System for thriving in any situation,
no matter how frustrating, complex,or unpredictable. What an incredible book,

(55:20):
Stephen. First, how can peoplepurchase the book? They can get
it through all these outlets like Amazonand Barnes and Noble and whatnot, where
they just go for example, Amazon, Type and Unconditional Power. You're going
to see the book by Stephen Gaffney. And then yeah, and I love
hearing how people use the strategies andyou can see by the testimonials in their
difference. It's made in people's lives. So anyway, I love hearing how

(55:44):
it went. And if they goto just be honest dot com, please
send us an email and you know, and let us know. And then
there's a whole bunch of stuff theycan go to our website around the team
health calculator. There's also an Honestycalculator. There's so much stuff that doesn't
cost any money that can make abig difference, hopefully in their lives.
And again, what's that website.It's just Beyondest dot com. So if
they go to just behest dot com. And also if they mentioned that your

(56:06):
show, we'll send them a document. It's a short document around unconditional power
that has some strategies they can use. It's incredible. This wraps up an
incredible edition of Mind Your Business again, all about unconditional power and the system
for thriving in any situation, nomatter how frustrating, complex or unpredictable.
We'll be back next Sunday night foranother great edition of Mind Your Business.

(56:29):
Have a successful week seven ten WRand the iHeartRadio Network present Mind Your Business,
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(56:53):
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Mind your Business focuses on business andmarketing strategies for success. Tune in
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(57:13):
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(57:38):
products offered or the ideas expressed.