November 16, 2025 • 42 mins
Ben Maller (Produced by Danny G.) has Mail Bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio in a very happy, happy,
happy Sunday to you. It's on I Don't Get Gone
in the NFL. We got early action from Madrid. Still
(00:49):
time though, to watch Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube.
That show iconic. I'd like to thank the United States
government for promoting the penny tremendous job by trying to
cancel the penny helping Benny Versus the Penny. You can
also support Benny Versus the Penny right now by watching
it on YouTube at Benny versus the Penny. Give us
(01:12):
a subscribe that would help us out a lot, and
just watch it every week, just putting it on even
if you mute it. I don't care maybe you don't
like the sound of my voice, just mute it. It works.
But the game in Madrid, as we said on Benny
Versus the Penny, the Commanders and the Dolphins providing you,
providing you this matchup because we are you and Madrid Spain,
(01:34):
because we as Americans are outsourcing some of our bad products.
But that'll be the early game and then the big
big games of the day. Today there are some doozies,
some humdingers, these Seahawks and the Rams. I will not
be at that game. I had a social event last night.
I will be taking it easy today. Going on that later.
(01:55):
The Seahawks and Rams, though both seven and two in
La couple of NFC the super Powers teams contending for
the Super Bowl, though Seattle's a foe contenders. No Stradinis
knows JJ and Rent and Crying Craig and all my
guys in the Pacific Northwest. Uh blind Emmitt the Seahawk
fan because of Sam Darnold. Yeah, not sure about that,
(02:17):
but that's the biggest game. Even though Tom Brady is
not going to be there for some reason, he's calling
the Bears Vikings games. Somebody goofed that one up. You've
also got Jamis Winston. Now, this is not a big
game in terms of record. The Packers are underachieving. The
Giants have always been bad. They're not underachieving, they're living
up to expectations. But you've got Jamis Winston, Mike Kofka,
(02:42):
the interim coach taking over there. So that'll be good.
The Chiefs and the Broncos. That's a humdinger of a game.
That's a humdinger game. Chiefs very important for them to
get to six and four. They can close the gap
on the Broncos to one game in the AFC West.
Broncos come into that game at eight and two. You've
got Homes versus bo Nicks, Lions and Eagles. That'll be
(03:04):
the nightcap tonight, massive game, massive game, not not an
a visional game. But Lions six and three, they can
tie the Eagles. They'd have the tiebreaker in terms of
head to head Lions and Eagles Tonight on and BC. Yeah. Today,
by the way, is National fast Food Day. National fast
(03:27):
Food Day today, so celebrate appropriately, go out get some
fast food. Although it is interesting to note, as Vin
Scully would say, despite it being National Fast Food Day,
you cannot get Chick fil A because it's Sunday, they're
not open today. The very first fast food goes back
thirty two hundred BC. How about that there was a
(03:50):
takeout window that made its debut. The Mesopotamian ruins featured
a window. They had a fireplace, leftover food and a
ton of bowls, and archaeologist easier for me to say,
archaeologists suspect that these these were takeout restaurants. That way
(04:10):
back in Mesopotamia they had takeout restaurants thirty two hundred BC.
It wasn't until the fifteen hundreds that a missionary priest
came up with Tomali's to go. Yes, as tech Street
markets sold to Maali's with hot sauce. That was in
(04:34):
the fifteen hundreds. And then you fast forward all the
way up to nineteen twelve and you had New York's
Automat restaurant popularized the phrase take out food. So that
phrase goes back to nineteen twelve. Yes, that's an added
phrase of the week phrase all the week, the phrase
(04:54):
popularized by New York's Automat restaurant take out food. Then,
in nineteen twenty one, what many consider the first modern
fast food, White Castle the first modern fast food restaurant.
Some say open its doors in nineteen twenty one, and
then you go up to nineteen ninety four, and that
(05:18):
is when McDonald stopped counting the number of burgers it
sold at ninety nine billion. Used to have that sign
where they said ninety nine billion burgers have been sold here,
and they kept raising the number, and then they got
so high, I want to say trillion and trillion, and
(05:38):
as they just stopped, they just they just stopped. Yeah,
that's it, all right, Let's get to the mail bag.
Oh hiowow can you get me in the mood? OHIOO?
Can you get me in the mood? It's in this
mail bag? Ohio al. It is a solo edition of
(06:07):
the Mailbag. No Danny g this weekend, but you got me?
And first up on the mailbag Reggie. Reggie's back. He
took some time off, but he's back. Reggie's in Detroit.
He says, Hey, Ben and Danny, do you guys like
your mutant meat medium? Well or well done? Very funny? Reggie.
(06:27):
There was a story he sent me here and it
says clone meat will soon enter the Canadian grocery stores
without safety reviews or labeling. And then it says here
that those of us that are in America have been
eating it for years, for years, been eating mutant meat. Yeah,
(06:52):
a lot of people apparently surprised by this. It was
revealed that similar products that are making a big deal
about this in Canada have quietly been on the shelves
for years. Holy supermarket, Steve Batman, what are you doing,
supermarket Steve? You're selling people mutant meat. What's wrong with you?
No labels? Nothing? Yeah. So I want all of my meat,
(07:16):
whether it's traditional animal meat or whatever the lab grown
meat is. I want it well done, loser, I want
it well done. Next up, Kevin Cleveland writes in on
the Mailbag. He says, so, hey, Ben and Danny, g
I'm kind of an average looking guy, but I've got
a good sense of humor. Do you think you think
(07:38):
I got a shot on getting a hot woman? And
then he sent the He sent a story that says
women like to date funny men who are less attractive
than them according to a new study. So then Kevin says,
do you believe this report or not? Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(08:00):
Well women, I don't obviously, I'm not a woman. I
don't have the women parts, and hope I can speak
from just observing life that a lot of women would
love a funny man. They find men that have a
lot of money to be very funny, even when they're not.
They find men that might be very attractive or very
(08:24):
gifted in certain areas to be very funny even if
they're not. So. The term funny has a sliding scale, Right,
you get a lot funnier, keV in Cleveland. You're a
lot funnier when you've got a big bank account, big
giant mansion, nice expensive cars. That really makes you funny,
(08:46):
if you know what I'm saying, right, it doesn't really
matter how attractive you are. And the part which I
do agree, like women just want someone who's less attractive
than them. They don't want a guy. That's so everyone's
like looking at the guy, which rarely happens anyway, mostly
stare at women. But nonetheless, you know, you know, you
(09:06):
know what I'm saying, all right, Thanks Kevin in Cleveland,
a city that I have been to once in my life,
and who knows if I'll ever come back. Maybe we'll
do the Ohio Meet and greet in Cleveland. Well, I
feel like we have more people in the Cincinnati area.
Jay from the Bay rights in and says that according
(09:27):
to a new survey, this is the golden ratio. According
to the Golden Ratio, Jay from the Bay says, Emma
Stone is the most beautiful woman in the world. According
to this story that Jay sent me, Zendaya is a
(09:50):
closed second. All right, so let's let's dive into this
the Golden ratio. The hell is the the Golden ratio.
According to a cosmetic and plastic surgery center in London,
(10:13):
they say that Emma Stone the winner when all elements
of the face were measured for physical perfection. They gave
her a ninety four point seven percent score Golden ratio,
which measures physical perfection. According to that, Zendea, Beyonce, Margot
(10:36):
Robbie also did well. According to this, I don't think
I've heard this. The Golden ratio is a mathematical equation.
They say. It was devised by the Greeks in an
attempt to measure beauty. It can be applied to almost anything,
and was even used by Leo or Leo Nardo da
(11:00):
Vinci for the perfect human male body in his famous
work That the Statue the Man There the v man,
whatever it's called. So the premise mind of the golden
ratio is that the closer the ratios of the of
a face or body are to the number five, the
(11:21):
more beautiful they become. And I'm probably butchering this. I
realize I'm probably butchering this, but that's that's what I'm reading.
I'm just giving you the story from this guy, Jay
who sent this. This is a story he sent me
daily mail from the Daily Mail, the UK London Daily Mail.
Then Jay said, do you even know who Emma Stone is?
(11:44):
All right? So, Jay, A, I've heard the name Emma Stone.
I've heard the name Emma Stone. B I think I've
even seen one of her movies. Wasn't she in some
Spider Man movies like a long time ago. I believe
I saw Emma's Stone in some Spider Man movies. So
I'm gonna go yes on that, Jay. If she was
(12:07):
in a lineup of Hollywood starlets, like a police lineup,
I would not be able to pick her out. I
would not. But I've heard the name, and I think
I saw her in some Spider Man movies. And I
could be completely wrong, And I promise if I am wrong,
some of you knuckleheads are going to email me. You
know you're wrong. Okay, thank you. Let's see who's next.
(12:33):
We have the Big O from Florida. I didn't know
the Big O' lived in Florida. He says, Hey, Ben
and Danny, I love the podcast doing the honeyde List
on the weekend, and he says, I wanted to get
your take. I know you've complained Ben about air travel. Also,
Danny flies a lot with the radio stuff. What do
(12:55):
you guys think about United Airlines arguing that window seats
do not mean you're sitting with a window. Yeah, I
like this story, Big O from Florida. So this to
give me the thumbnail recap on this if you didn't
(13:15):
see it. So there's some passengers that say they paid
a premium. They selected their seats anywhere from thirty to
over one hundred dollars on a flight expecting a view.
They thought they were paying extra for a window and
a genuine window seat, and they claimed they got the
(13:35):
old bait and switch that they claimed that they just
happened to be sitting there and there was no window.
There was just the fuselage of the airplane. And they're saying, hey,
we would not have booked or paid extra for the
seat that lacked the window. The lawsuit alleges that this
constitutes deceptive or unfair trade practices and in some instances,
(13:59):
a breach of contract. So in order to get out
of a lawsuit, they're saying, hey, listen, you know we're
not really we are not really providing you an actual window,
and this is proof that you will do anything, anything
(14:20):
at all, to avoid having to pay out a settlement.
I remember the cable news channels got sued up the wazoo,
and this was always their go to defense that even
though it says news in the name of the channel,
the big news channels. I will not name them here,
I think you can figure out which. They've all been
sued a ton. Every once in a while they lose,
but almost always they claim that they're on air talent,
(14:44):
are not not newspeople, they're not reporters, that they're entertainers.
It's like an entertainment show. It's kind of like the
NFL is allowed technically to fixed games. It can be
(15:04):
like professional wrestling. They claim that that argument in a
court case, you can just AI it or google it
and find out the details. So it's not unusual. I
would love to be in court a fly in the
courtroom when the lawyer for the United Airlines says, okay,
(15:24):
this is not you did not buy a window seat.
But mister lawyer, it says on the website that it
shows a little graphic and then you're near the outside
of the plane, near the window, which would indicate that's
a window seat. Well, yeah, it says on the graphic,
but window seat does not mean with a window. It
does not mean but but no, it says it shows
(15:46):
it right here on the website. What doesn't matter what
you don't believe you're lying. Eyes, don't believe you're lying.
Eyes all right. Next up, Ryan on the mailback. Thank
you by the way, big oh, Ryan from Shrewsbury, Mass
is back, he says he Bannon Danny. It's been a
while since I last emailed into the pod. I am
finally back from getting married and going on the honeymoon. Mazeltov, congratulations, Ryan,
(16:10):
ho'pe be had a wonderful time. I like your advice.
Selective hearing question this week is since it's getting colder
outside around the country, is soup a year round meal?
Since you answered my taco question, regarding softer Heartshell, I
want to know your thoughts on this. I believe and
so does the wife, that it could be a year
(16:31):
round meal. Yeah, so, Ryan, I'm hit and miss, and
your bride I'm hitting miss. When it comes to soup,
there's only a few that I go to. As I've
gotten older, my palate for soup has improved. When I
was younger, I used to only eat matza ball slash
chicken soup. That was it. It was a holiday thing
(16:54):
for Thanksgiving, for Hanukkah, for other Jewish holidays. We would
sell the house. When I was growing up, we would
have mantzibal soup was part of the deal. I just
expected mantzi ball soup and if my mom didn't make it,
I would get upset. And then I discovered French onion soup,
and I said, oh my god, I love French onion soup.
So I went with that, And then as an adult,
(17:17):
I had Italian wedding singer soup. I believe it's called
love that or alphabet soup, where I love that. I
thought that was great. I even occasionally, don't tell anybody,
I'll go for a tomato bisk soup. Very rare but
I'll go for that, so I have expanded my palate.
Am I sitting here in July eating soup? No, I'm not.
(17:39):
And the problem with soup is it's great, but it's
not a meal. You got to eat it with a meal.
It's more of a snack if you eat it by
itself and you're not really feeling it. Now, there are
some thicker soups. I don't need that. My mom would
make lentil soup, which is like a Russian dish. When
I was growing up, I did not enjoy that. I
(18:02):
would pick out the pieces of meat that were in
the around the lentils, defeating the purpose of the lentil soup.
And that would be my move. And just for Terry
and England if he's listening, this is not a list,
but my big board, I would have Monza ball soup
at number one on the big board, French onion number two.
(18:25):
I'd have your traditional standard chicken soup number three. That
would be number three, and then number four would be
the aforementioned tomato bisk and then also the Italian soup
would be in there at number five. So that would
be it. Not a list, not a list, a big
board Kevin in Kansas rites into the mail bag. He says, Hey,
(18:46):
Ben and Danny g my nephew works security for a
major sports retail store in Dallas. Recently, they caught teens
opening packs of baseball cards. The kids didn't like what
they got and they threw them away without paying. They
were caught and prosecuted as much as they could be.
Not that you ever would, but what would it take
(19:08):
for you to get that desperate and take the risk
with baseball cards? Yeah? So, Kevin, first of all, it's
not really if they're kids, it's not so much of
a risk. They were trying to get some amazing card.
For me. Obviously Danny's not here today, but for me,
I would go if there's like a Wemby rookie card,
(19:31):
which you know is going to be worth three hundred
thousand dollars. This guy's a mutant. I was watching the
Spurs game on Friday. I had it on the background.
I had a buddy of mine over who were watching
the Spurs and the Golden State Wars because it was
the only thing on our guy, mister Harlan was calling
the game for Amazon with Brent Barry. So I was
(19:53):
watching that and I'm checking on, like Wemby is the
tall version of Kyler Murray, you know when you're watching
the Cardinals and alligator arms Murray and it's like, well,
I think my TV broke. That guy doesn't look like
he belongs to him? Is like a glitch. What's up
with the thing of a jig but what you might
call it? And I'm watching the Spurs game and all
(20:15):
these guys are really tall, the tall people play basketball,
and Wemby looks like he does not belong It's like,
wait a minute, who puts Sasquatch on the court? Sasquatch
shouldn't be out there? What's up with that? So it's
pretty wacky, pretty wacky about Kevin. Thank you. I'll glad
you are a regular emailer to The Fifth Hour mail Bag.
(20:39):
It doesn't mean like if you would like to email
the podcast for a future edition of the mail Bag.
First of all, follow the podcast, subscribe to the podcast.
That helps us out a lot the Fifth Hour podcast
as the audio content does not end even here on
NFL Sundays like today. Yeah, so next up, says Jose.
(20:59):
He says, hello, Lord Ben and mister g nor Cal.
Jose now in Massachusetts. He says, what do you think
of Tom Brady killing the Raiders back in the snowball
game and then now killing them again by all the
dumb hirings he did, But this time they deserve it
(21:23):
for leaving Oakland. And I think all the NorCal people
love you because of your hate of the Dodgers and Lakers.
Makes it fun for us. And what happened to your
little brother, David Finley? I think you mean Brian Finley.
He says, that's from Jose. Well, I don't hate the Dodgers.
(21:43):
I did the Dodger radio postgame show for a little
bit back in the day. I just I don't like
the hubris of the Dodgers. They're not reinventing the wheel.
They're spending more money than anyone else, which I'm fine with.
They're winning. You should win when you spend a lot
of money. I want to work for a boss that
spends a lot of money. It's one of those things,
(22:04):
Jose that I find ridonculous among sports fans. They're like
ripping and mocking the teams that spend a lot of money.
I know, as an employee, I would like to work
for a company that values their employers their employees rather
and is going to spend a lot of money. Why
would I want to work for a nickel and dime operation.
I would much rather If I was a baseball player,
(22:25):
I'd want to play for the Dodgers as opposed to
the Brewers or the Rays or the A's or one
of those type teams. But that being said, that being said,
I'm not going to sit here behind these microphones and
listen to the bull crap propaganda that's out there. It's
just for today. I mean, these fanboys just made me
(22:45):
want a puke in my mouth. As far as Brian
Finley Daddy, which I believe you're relating to, I think
he's doing some tennis play by player. I don't know.
We were work friends, and when you're work friends, that's it.
It's all over, you know, He'll usually what happens with
work friends, I'll explain. So, I think we all have
work friends. But with work friends, you're friendly with them
(23:06):
because you have to be. You work with them, and
you only see them at work. You don't socialize, and
so then when so and so is over, the relationship
is over. You move on. That's it. Each go your
separate ways. And normally, what I've experienced is that people
I used to work with who were work friends, when
they lose their job, they will reach out to me, Hey,
(23:29):
do you know anyone the hiring or do you know
so and so at that radio station over there in Omaha,
something along those lines. Also, Jose says, my daughter Marlene
says hello, Hello, Marlene. She says hello again. She is
nine and loves your show, listens to everything on the
(23:49):
radio show, on the podcast, and wants to know when
the Malard merch is coming out. Well, Jose, were we've
had a setback. I feel back because every time I
talk about this stuff, I think we're close to something.
Something inevitbly happened. It's Maler's law, not Murphy's law. It's
Maler's law. So I thought there were two things I've
(24:10):
talked about a lot on this podcast, the Ohio meet
and greet, which we thought we had nailed down. Somebody
bailed out last minute, and I just said, I screw it,
We'll just wait until next year. We'll just wait until
next year. No one has reached out to step up
for the Ohio Malor Meet and greet. We did have
somebody lined up that was going to kind of be
boots on the ground and had said they had a
(24:32):
venue and all this stuff, and unfortunately they turned out
to be a flake, which is it happens and that's
just life. They said, some stuff happened. They couldn't do
it anymore, which is disappointing, and we'll figure it out
in twenty twenty six. The other thing is the malor merch.
I had some stuff lined up. There were some logos
that I had been sent some different products that the
(24:55):
person I won't say their name here because this still
could work out. A person who's a fan of show
had sent some stuff over said what do you think
of this? What do you think of that? You know
we can sell this, we can sell that, blah blah blah,
T shirt ideas, all this stuff, and now I'm all ears.
I'm like, okay, you know it sounds good. Let's you
know that's what's going to take to start this. Let's
get this thing started. Oh, you need a website. Okay,
(25:16):
we'll get a website. Fine, all right, we've got to
price it out. Okay, we'll price it out. Do you
want to have stuff available all the time? Do you
want a limited edition? I said, well, let's let's do
limited edition. Do you want to have pre order? I said, sure,
why not, we'll save some money. Well, and we'll make it.
We'll make this stuff more valuable. So I was going
through all this stuff, Jose, I was like, okay, so
we'll have a limited run, one shirt every couple of months,
(25:38):
and then first come, first serve. When they're sold out,
they're sold out, limited edition, and that's that. And and
so that thing is on hold not now. That is
unlike the Ohio thing, which the guy said I can't
do it, and I haven't heard from him since. Unfortunately,
that was gonna be in the Cincinnati area. Had a
said he had a venue picked out, a place there
(26:00):
in Cincinnati. I don't know what Cincinnati pizza is like.
I hope it's better than the chili, which Justin says
is disgusting. U. So we'll keep you posted, Jose and
your cute little daughter there, mar Lee, and so we'll
see what happens next up. Scott from Florida writes in, says, Hey, Ben,
so it sounds like the malarmobile has massive mileage. Yeah,
(26:22):
that is correct. That would be accurate if you were
to replace it. In a dream world, would the new
Malarmobile be a Malar Mitsubishi, a Malarmiata or a Malar
Mazarati or a Malar Mercedes, Or would you just trade
it back to the Maybach dealership where you originally bought
it for a newer model. Maybe go a different direction
(26:45):
like a Malard motorcycle or a Malar moped. I see
what you did there, Scott. Very very funny, very funny.
The most comfortable car that I have ever driven in
I've told this story in the past. If you've heard
it before, just fast. The most comfortable car I've ever
driven was in Cleveland. We were at the World Series
(27:06):
years ago and we rented the only car that was available.
We did not plan on renting this. When we got
to the airport, they said, we have one car left,
take it or that's it. It was a full size
Lincoln Continental and is the most enjoyable rental car I've
ever had. And that seat and that Lincoln Continental was
(27:27):
like sitting on your sofa. We were driving around northern
Ohio and we stayed so far we were covering the
World Series. We stayed right near the Pennsylvania line. There
was this out in the Boondocks we drove by. I
don't even know if it's still there. It was like
a SeaWorld Ohio thing that was this how long ago?
This was that was really comfortable, really really comfortable. I
(27:49):
will never buy another new car. I don't make daytime
radio money. Don't make daytime radio money, so by a
pre owned, certified pre owned is the way to go.
Even that's expense, even that's expensive. Next up on the mailbag,
Art from Nevada writes in and says, hey, Ben, I
saw that your buddy Lebron recently revealed that golf is
(28:10):
his hobby, saying that he's addicted to the sport. Are
you a golf guy? No, I had golf clubs. I
would golf once a year. Art and Golf's one of
those things where you have to have a lot of
free time and you gotta have a little bit of
(28:31):
money in order for it to work. I don't have
a lot of free time. I have a daily talk show,
I have a podcast. I work seven days a week,
so that's a problem. I don't have a lot of money.
I do. Okay, I'm not poor whatever, I just am not.
People come up to me and they think that I'm
making Coward money and I'm not even making as much
(28:52):
as Cowhard's boardop. Okay, so that is not happening. Okay,
that is not happening. But I got rid of my
golf clubs, and I was trying to get some. In fact,
if anyone like Who's a Fantas Podcast, if you're a
fan listening to this, obviously you're still listening to the mailbag,
if you know where I can get relatively inexpensive golf
(29:13):
clubs for someone who's of a tall size, because I
can't use regular golf clubs. I want to get a
new set of golf clubs. One thing I would really enjoy.
I don't know that I want to play golf, like
a full round of golf anytime soon. I don't have
the time for it. What I do have the time
for is when I have a really frustrating situation where
(29:36):
I get upset at somebody maybe I work with, or
I get upset with the way things are going, or
I did a bad show, I think it would be
so cool to take my golf clubs, my tall sized
golf clubs, my driver and go down to there's a
couple of golf courses here in the north Woods and
go to one of the golf courses and just go
(29:59):
to the driving room and just whack, just absolutely whack
some golf balls. Just go for it.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Love.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I love that. It'd be great. So I've been able
to find them. If you know, like a little cheat
code on how to find reasonably priced I'm willing to
spend a little bit, but not insane. I went to
a PGA Tour golf store, which was an amazing store.
They had everything. My god, it was awesome until I
(30:29):
looked at the price tags and then I'm like, okay,
bye bye bye bye. Next up JT the Wingman on
the mail bag, he says, Dear Ben and Danny g
With the holiday season taking full swing, what one thing
about all the hustle and bustle of family get together
as work parties, gift giving, holiday feast, new tireraq dot com,
(30:51):
live reads and holiday music endlessly playing on music radio
and retail stores? Do you like the most and the least?
That is from JT. The wing Man. So what I
do not like is the scams of Black Friday, which
is coming up not that far away. The scams where
(31:15):
a lot of these websites right now are raising raising
the price of everything on their websites. So then in
ten days or whenever Black Friday is, it's not gonna
be here. Well what Thanksgivings a week from Thursday? So
you do the math anyway when they say, hey, we've
(31:35):
taken forty percent off the price, and then you realize, well,
you just raised the price by forty percent ten days ago.
You didn't lower the price. You're just backed to the
normal price. So the term up to in the artificial
rigging of the prices. As far as what I like,
I love the Malar themed holiday music. Hopefully our friend
(31:58):
Lorena will play that. I'm going to encourage her to
play those Mallar theme songs the holiday music at least
one one an hour. I think that would be great.
Pretty much net neutral. On the parties, there's a lot
of parties. We've got two We've got a friends party,
and then we've got a family party that we hosted
(32:20):
the Malor mansion. So it's give me a lot, a
lot of baking. I'll be Benny the baker making all
kinds of delicious stuff for the parties. So I'm okay
on that. What about you, JT. You should have told me. JT.
The wingman from just outside Knoxville, Tennessee, Ferg Dog writes
in from South Fullerton, the meanest part of town. He says, Hey,
(32:41):
happy Cranberry sauce, Ben and Danny g you made a
big mistake last week. Ben, you were talking about fixing
up the old malardmobile and you mentioned not replacing the tires.
Winter is coming. You should buy a set of Yokohama
snow tires from tire rack dot com. I did best
purchase I've ever made. Well, very kind and that's a
(33:04):
ringing endorsement from Ferg Dog. Anyway, he says, does the
rule of not talking not taking time off during football
season only apply to the host, because it seems like
certain people have taken a lot of time off lately,
says Ferg Dog. Yeah, Hey, I used to get really
worked up for Dog. At some point just threw my
(33:28):
arms in the air and said, I much like football coaches,
you can only control the controllables. I have a tremendous
passion for what I do. I realize that not a
lot of people do for whatever reason. I'm a type
a personality when it comes to the radio show. It
is my entire life, and unfortunately, there's a lot of
(33:49):
people that in general are in radio and they're floaters.
They're lazy, They're like DMV employees. They show up at
the last minute, they don't do any work. When you
ask them to do work, they complain. So I just
I do everything and that's it, and I don't whether
they're there or not. One of the great things I've
learned over the years. When you do everything and the
(34:12):
people that are supposed to prop you up do nothing
and they don't show up, it doesn't matter. The show's
the same because they don't add anything that important to
the show. So it is actually one of the cool
things about this is that I'm very confident whoever I
end up, whatever, I've worked with a bunch of people
(34:34):
naming any names here, But when someone I've worked with
hasn't been there at any point, I'm like, at one
point I was like, oh man, I really need this person,
and then I was let down so many times by
people I work with that I just realized, no, I'm
never going to depend on anyone because they don't do it.
So I control the controllables and I just worry about
(34:57):
what I can do to make the show great. And
that's it. Barry from South Carolina, right say, says Yo Yo, Ma,
Benny and Danny g Now Barry's the guy that helped
put together the great Charleston Mallar meet and greet that
we did. He says, So you can buy a Bob
Ross painting? Are you gonna buy one? And then he
points out that there were three Bob Ross paintings that
(35:19):
hit the auction block and fans can drop fifty thousand
dollars and own a happy little original. Well, that's a
great question, Barry. I was a huge Bob Ross fan.
I did not realize at the time I was a
Bob Ross fan. I used to skip out on school
because I hated going to school, and I would sit
home and we didn't have the internet, so I was
(35:40):
a prisoner of television, and I would watch The Prices
right in the morning, and there were some other game
shows that were on, and then about midday they rolled
out the soap operas. Well, I don't care about soapropers.
I don't know, that's not my jam. I didn't like
the drama at the time, so then I would flip
over to and inevitably at some point Bob Ross would
(36:02):
be on there with his happy little mistakes and all that,
and I just have that. And it was always fascinating
to me, even as a kid. Bob Ross could take
this little piece of canvas, this blank canvas, and paint
the forest and the mountains and all that. I thought,
that's pretty cool. Unfortunately, Barry, I do not have fifty
thousand dollars. That would be a hell of a gift.
(36:23):
That would be a hell of a gift if someone
wants to send that in feel free. What else do
we have? Let's see here page down Kwang from Ho
Chi Minh, Vietnam Rights. He says, Ben, it sounds like
Jed who fled had one of the two types of
myo cardial infractions art attacks, it says. St STEMI occurs
(36:51):
when a coronary artery is completely blocked, causing significant damage
to the heart muscle, and then category number two occurs
when the coronary artery is partially blocked, causing less severe damage.
So mal or militia, let's get into it and get
a regular checkup, please and thank you, he says. Ps.
(37:13):
I do miss that. Martina navert Tolova drop from Quay
Well you know, Danny g you'll probably put that in
right here. Danny, you want to, Danny, can you can
you put that Martina Navert Toloba drop in? Yeah, we'll see,
We'll see if you can do it. Yeah, find it now, okay,
Alf writes in from the fast lane. He says, greetings, gentlemen,
(37:34):
have you ever had a vanity license plate or specialty plate?
Here in the Commonwealth, we have all kinds of specialty
plates that benefit causes like the Jimmy Fund, sports specific
plates like six time champion Pats and Basketball Hall of
Fame and a newly res released Doctor Seuss plate to
name a few. That's pretty cool. Well, I've never had
(37:55):
specialty plates. When I first started driving, my mom is like,
you got to get a specialty plate because she had
a specialty plate which had the name of the business,
the family business that she had started on the car
to promote the business. So she got me clip Fan.
I had the license plate clip Fan custom plate in
(38:18):
Socaw that was that was my license plate. And you know,
for a few years when I was in like high
school and the clippers were terrible, and I always get
these looks like I was driving people like what are
you doing with that? I was like, well, my mom
thought it would be a good idea, you know if
they did it, and yeah, that was that was it.
But those are really cool. I don't do we have
those in California. I would if I lived in the
(38:41):
common with I'd get the Doctor Seuss. I'd go for
the Doctor Seuss. Frank from Vancouver rights in and he says, hey, Ben,
your monologue on the Packers par particularly Micah Parsons after
the embarrassing loss, was a bit off base, Frank, and
Vancouver says, first off, to give you your props. The
Packer offense at Jordan Love have been poopoo, coca and poopoo.
(39:06):
I don't know why. It may be that he's not
that good. Lafleur may be a bonehead. I don't know.
Maybe Love just isn't good and we Packer fans would
be asking to win the lottery one more time at quarterback,
which would be insane. Of course I wish, but insane. Anyways,
says where you were way off base is your criticism
(39:28):
of Michael Parts. He may not have had any sacks,
not a lot of pressures had none, but the other
guys did. He made them look good unselfishly, he says.
It says analogize that to your show, you make Lorena
and or Coop the Loop look good or vice versa. Well,
(39:51):
I would love to have you, Frank as my boss.
I would love to In fact, I'm gonna take credit
for Dan Patrick and Colin Cowhart going in the Radio
Hall of Fame, and I'm gonna say that I made
them look good unselfishly. As a talk show host, everyone
knows the most important part. If you were to look
at the pyramid of radio, the overnight show is the
most important thing. And so because we have a strong
(40:14):
overnight show, that helped Dan Patrick, and it helped Calherd
get into the Hall of Fame. And so really, I
made those guys look good. I'm using the Frank in
Vancouver logic on this. Frank says, is a die hard
packer apologist. I gotta say, this is the first time
in years that we didn't need to go score forty
(40:35):
points in order to win a game. This defense, other
than one stinker which everyone has had, is great to
the point we only need fourteen points to win the issue,
of course, is that we can't somehow get to fourteen
points anymore. Nevermind forty, go pack, go Frank in Vancouver. Well, Frank,
thank you, thank you, thank you for listening. And I
(40:56):
love that you were so taken aback by my take
on Micah Parsons that you got all upset. Yeah. I've
gotten a lot of angry emails this week about monologues,
which tells me that I'm doing something right. That apparently
they tell me to have a strong opinion about things.
That's kind of the job. It goes with the job.
And when you have strong opinions, guys like Frank and
(41:17):
Vancouver get upset. I've had several people who are Yankee
fans very upset with me. You are so wrong about
cal Rawley. I can't believe it. Oh my god. And
it's always like I used to like your show and
I can't listen anymore. And I'm like, Okay, that's fine,
you don't have to listen. I mean, I do get
paid whether you listen or not. I mean, it's nice
(41:38):
if you listen. It's more fun to have more people listening.
But if you're that hurt by an opinion, then just
listen to the Yankee postgame show, listen to Yankee Talk.
It's like I told those people with KERSHAWF you're upset
with my opinion of kershaw'll just listen to guys like
David Vasse, the mouthpiece for the Dodgers, Wow. And you
know he's got his knee pads on and he'll give
you everything you need on that every pot positive Dodger
(42:01):
propaganda piece he'll give you. I'm not that guy. I'm
critical and that creates problems. I will get out on that.
I got football to watch, I got things to do.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening all weekend.
You just had me a solo version on the Fifth
Hour podcast. Be well, enjoy the football. I'll be back
tonight on the radio all night long. No days off,
(42:23):
no days off this week, So we'll do that and
we'll catch you on the flip side tonight later. Skater,
go away, gotta murder. I gotta go
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio in a very happy, happy,
happy Sunday to you. It's on I Don't Get Gone
in the NFL. We got early action from Madrid. Still
(00:49):
time though, to watch Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube.
That show iconic. I'd like to thank the United States
government for promoting the penny tremendous job by trying to
cancel the penny helping Benny Versus the Penny. You can
also support Benny Versus the Penny right now by watching
it on YouTube at Benny versus the Penny. Give us
(01:12):
a subscribe that would help us out a lot, and
just watch it every week, just putting it on even
if you mute it. I don't care maybe you don't
like the sound of my voice, just mute it. It works.
But the game in Madrid, as we said on Benny
Versus the Penny, the Commanders and the Dolphins providing you,
providing you this matchup because we are you and Madrid Spain,
(01:34):
because we as Americans are outsourcing some of our bad products.
But that'll be the early game and then the big
big games of the day. Today there are some doozies,
some humdingers, these Seahawks and the Rams. I will not
be at that game. I had a social event last night.
I will be taking it easy today. Going on that later.
(01:55):
The Seahawks and Rams, though both seven and two in
La couple of NFC the super Powers teams contending for
the Super Bowl, though Seattle's a foe contenders. No Stradinis
knows JJ and Rent and Crying Craig and all my
guys in the Pacific Northwest. Uh blind Emmitt the Seahawk
fan because of Sam Darnold. Yeah, not sure about that,
(02:17):
but that's the biggest game. Even though Tom Brady is
not going to be there for some reason, he's calling
the Bears Vikings games. Somebody goofed that one up. You've
also got Jamis Winston. Now, this is not a big
game in terms of record. The Packers are underachieving. The
Giants have always been bad. They're not underachieving, they're living
up to expectations. But you've got Jamis Winston, Mike Kofka,
(02:42):
the interim coach taking over there. So that'll be good.
The Chiefs and the Broncos. That's a humdinger of a game.
That's a humdinger game. Chiefs very important for them to
get to six and four. They can close the gap
on the Broncos to one game in the AFC West.
Broncos come into that game at eight and two. You've
got Homes versus bo Nicks, Lions and Eagles. That'll be
(03:04):
the nightcap tonight, massive game, massive game, not not an
a visional game. But Lions six and three, they can
tie the Eagles. They'd have the tiebreaker in terms of
head to head Lions and Eagles Tonight on and BC. Yeah. Today,
by the way, is National fast Food Day. National fast
(03:27):
Food Day today, so celebrate appropriately, go out get some
fast food. Although it is interesting to note, as Vin
Scully would say, despite it being National Fast Food Day,
you cannot get Chick fil A because it's Sunday, they're
not open today. The very first fast food goes back
thirty two hundred BC. How about that there was a
(03:50):
takeout window that made its debut. The Mesopotamian ruins featured
a window. They had a fireplace, leftover food and a
ton of bowls, and archaeologist easier for me to say,
archaeologists suspect that these these were takeout restaurants. That way
(04:10):
back in Mesopotamia they had takeout restaurants thirty two hundred BC.
It wasn't until the fifteen hundreds that a missionary priest
came up with Tomali's to go. Yes, as tech Street
markets sold to Maali's with hot sauce. That was in
(04:34):
the fifteen hundreds. And then you fast forward all the
way up to nineteen twelve and you had New York's
Automat restaurant popularized the phrase take out food. So that
phrase goes back to nineteen twelve. Yes, that's an added
phrase of the week phrase all the week, the phrase
(04:54):
popularized by New York's Automat restaurant take out food. Then,
in nineteen twenty one, what many consider the first modern
fast food, White Castle the first modern fast food restaurant.
Some say open its doors in nineteen twenty one, and
then you go up to nineteen ninety four, and that
(05:18):
is when McDonald stopped counting the number of burgers it
sold at ninety nine billion. Used to have that sign
where they said ninety nine billion burgers have been sold here,
and they kept raising the number, and then they got
so high, I want to say trillion and trillion, and
(05:38):
as they just stopped, they just they just stopped. Yeah,
that's it, all right, Let's get to the mail bag.
Oh hiowow can you get me in the mood? OHIOO?
Can you get me in the mood? It's in this
mail bag? Ohio al. It is a solo edition of
(06:07):
the Mailbag. No Danny g this weekend, but you got me?
And first up on the mailbag Reggie. Reggie's back. He
took some time off, but he's back. Reggie's in Detroit.
He says, Hey, Ben and Danny, do you guys like
your mutant meat medium? Well or well done? Very funny? Reggie.
(06:27):
There was a story he sent me here and it
says clone meat will soon enter the Canadian grocery stores
without safety reviews or labeling. And then it says here
that those of us that are in America have been
eating it for years, for years, been eating mutant meat. Yeah,
(06:52):
a lot of people apparently surprised by this. It was
revealed that similar products that are making a big deal
about this in Canada have quietly been on the shelves
for years. Holy supermarket, Steve Batman, what are you doing,
supermarket Steve? You're selling people mutant meat. What's wrong with you?
No labels? Nothing? Yeah. So I want all of my meat,
(07:16):
whether it's traditional animal meat or whatever the lab grown
meat is. I want it well done, loser, I want
it well done. Next up, Kevin Cleveland writes in on
the Mailbag. He says, so, hey, Ben and Danny, g
I'm kind of an average looking guy, but I've got
a good sense of humor. Do you think you think
(07:38):
I got a shot on getting a hot woman? And
then he sent the He sent a story that says
women like to date funny men who are less attractive
than them according to a new study. So then Kevin says,
do you believe this report or not? Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(08:00):
Well women, I don't obviously, I'm not a woman. I
don't have the women parts, and hope I can speak
from just observing life that a lot of women would
love a funny man. They find men that have a
lot of money to be very funny, even when they're not.
They find men that might be very attractive or very
(08:24):
gifted in certain areas to be very funny even if
they're not. So. The term funny has a sliding scale, Right,
you get a lot funnier, keV in Cleveland. You're a
lot funnier when you've got a big bank account, big
giant mansion, nice expensive cars. That really makes you funny,
(08:46):
if you know what I'm saying, right, it doesn't really
matter how attractive you are. And the part which I
do agree, like women just want someone who's less attractive
than them. They don't want a guy. That's so everyone's
like looking at the guy, which rarely happens anyway, mostly
stare at women. But nonetheless, you know, you know, you
(09:06):
know what I'm saying, all right, Thanks Kevin in Cleveland,
a city that I have been to once in my life,
and who knows if I'll ever come back. Maybe we'll
do the Ohio Meet and greet in Cleveland. Well, I
feel like we have more people in the Cincinnati area.
Jay from the Bay rights in and says that according
(09:27):
to a new survey, this is the golden ratio. According
to the Golden Ratio, Jay from the Bay says, Emma
Stone is the most beautiful woman in the world. According
to this story that Jay sent me, Zendaya is a
(09:50):
closed second. All right, so let's let's dive into this
the Golden ratio. The hell is the the Golden ratio.
According to a cosmetic and plastic surgery center in London,
(10:13):
they say that Emma Stone the winner when all elements
of the face were measured for physical perfection. They gave
her a ninety four point seven percent score Golden ratio,
which measures physical perfection. According to that, Zendea, Beyonce, Margot
(10:36):
Robbie also did well. According to this, I don't think
I've heard this. The Golden ratio is a mathematical equation.
They say. It was devised by the Greeks in an
attempt to measure beauty. It can be applied to almost anything,
and was even used by Leo or Leo Nardo da
(11:00):
Vinci for the perfect human male body in his famous
work That the Statue the Man There the v man,
whatever it's called. So the premise mind of the golden
ratio is that the closer the ratios of the of
a face or body are to the number five, the
(11:21):
more beautiful they become. And I'm probably butchering this. I
realize I'm probably butchering this, but that's that's what I'm reading.
I'm just giving you the story from this guy, Jay
who sent this. This is a story he sent me
daily mail from the Daily Mail, the UK London Daily Mail.
Then Jay said, do you even know who Emma Stone is?
(11:44):
All right? So, Jay, A, I've heard the name Emma Stone.
I've heard the name Emma Stone. B I think I've
even seen one of her movies. Wasn't she in some
Spider Man movies like a long time ago. I believe
I saw Emma's Stone in some Spider Man movies. So
I'm gonna go yes on that, Jay. If she was
(12:07):
in a lineup of Hollywood starlets, like a police lineup,
I would not be able to pick her out. I
would not. But I've heard the name, and I think
I saw her in some Spider Man movies. And I
could be completely wrong, And I promise if I am wrong,
some of you knuckleheads are going to email me. You
know you're wrong. Okay, thank you. Let's see who's next.
(12:33):
We have the Big O from Florida. I didn't know
the Big O' lived in Florida. He says, Hey, Ben
and Danny, I love the podcast doing the honeyde List
on the weekend, and he says, I wanted to get
your take. I know you've complained Ben about air travel. Also,
Danny flies a lot with the radio stuff. What do
(12:55):
you guys think about United Airlines arguing that window seats
do not mean you're sitting with a window. Yeah, I
like this story, Big O from Florida. So this to
give me the thumbnail recap on this if you didn't
(13:15):
see it. So there's some passengers that say they paid
a premium. They selected their seats anywhere from thirty to
over one hundred dollars on a flight expecting a view.
They thought they were paying extra for a window and
a genuine window seat, and they claimed they got the
(13:35):
old bait and switch that they claimed that they just
happened to be sitting there and there was no window.
There was just the fuselage of the airplane. And they're saying, hey,
we would not have booked or paid extra for the
seat that lacked the window. The lawsuit alleges that this
constitutes deceptive or unfair trade practices and in some instances,
(13:59):
a breach of contract. So in order to get out
of a lawsuit, they're saying, hey, listen, you know we're
not really we are not really providing you an actual window,
and this is proof that you will do anything, anything
(14:20):
at all, to avoid having to pay out a settlement.
I remember the cable news channels got sued up the wazoo,
and this was always their go to defense that even
though it says news in the name of the channel,
the big news channels. I will not name them here,
I think you can figure out which. They've all been
sued a ton. Every once in a while they lose,
but almost always they claim that they're on air talent,
(14:44):
are not not newspeople, they're not reporters, that they're entertainers.
It's like an entertainment show. It's kind of like the
NFL is allowed technically to fixed games. It can be
(15:04):
like professional wrestling. They claim that that argument in a
court case, you can just AI it or google it
and find out the details. So it's not unusual. I
would love to be in court a fly in the
courtroom when the lawyer for the United Airlines says, okay,
(15:24):
this is not you did not buy a window seat.
But mister lawyer, it says on the website that it
shows a little graphic and then you're near the outside
of the plane, near the window, which would indicate that's
a window seat. Well, yeah, it says on the graphic,
but window seat does not mean with a window. It
does not mean but but no, it says it shows
(15:46):
it right here on the website. What doesn't matter what
you don't believe you're lying. Eyes, don't believe you're lying.
Eyes all right. Next up, Ryan on the mailback. Thank
you by the way, big oh, Ryan from Shrewsbury, Mass
is back, he says he Bannon Danny. It's been a
while since I last emailed into the pod. I am
finally back from getting married and going on the honeymoon. Mazeltov, congratulations, Ryan,
(16:10):
ho'pe be had a wonderful time. I like your advice.
Selective hearing question this week is since it's getting colder
outside around the country, is soup a year round meal?
Since you answered my taco question, regarding softer Heartshell, I
want to know your thoughts on this. I believe and
so does the wife, that it could be a year
(16:31):
round meal. Yeah, so, Ryan, I'm hit and miss, and
your bride I'm hitting miss. When it comes to soup,
there's only a few that I go to. As I've
gotten older, my palate for soup has improved. When I
was younger, I used to only eat matza ball slash
chicken soup. That was it. It was a holiday thing
(16:54):
for Thanksgiving, for Hanukkah, for other Jewish holidays. We would
sell the house. When I was growing up, we would
have mantzibal soup was part of the deal. I just
expected mantzi ball soup and if my mom didn't make it,
I would get upset. And then I discovered French onion soup,
and I said, oh my god, I love French onion soup.
So I went with that, And then as an adult,
(17:17):
I had Italian wedding singer soup. I believe it's called
love that or alphabet soup, where I love that. I
thought that was great. I even occasionally, don't tell anybody,
I'll go for a tomato bisk soup. Very rare but
I'll go for that, so I have expanded my palate.
Am I sitting here in July eating soup? No, I'm not.
(17:39):
And the problem with soup is it's great, but it's
not a meal. You got to eat it with a meal.
It's more of a snack if you eat it by
itself and you're not really feeling it. Now, there are
some thicker soups. I don't need that. My mom would
make lentil soup, which is like a Russian dish. When
I was growing up, I did not enjoy that. I
(18:02):
would pick out the pieces of meat that were in
the around the lentils, defeating the purpose of the lentil soup.
And that would be my move. And just for Terry
and England if he's listening, this is not a list,
but my big board, I would have Monza ball soup
at number one on the big board, French onion number two.
(18:25):
I'd have your traditional standard chicken soup number three. That
would be number three, and then number four would be
the aforementioned tomato bisk and then also the Italian soup
would be in there at number five. So that would
be it. Not a list, not a list, a big
board Kevin in Kansas rites into the mail bag. He says, Hey,
(18:46):
Ben and Danny g my nephew works security for a
major sports retail store in Dallas. Recently, they caught teens
opening packs of baseball cards. The kids didn't like what
they got and they threw them away without paying. They
were caught and prosecuted as much as they could be.
Not that you ever would, but what would it take
(19:08):
for you to get that desperate and take the risk
with baseball cards? Yeah? So, Kevin, first of all, it's
not really if they're kids, it's not so much of
a risk. They were trying to get some amazing card.
For me. Obviously Danny's not here today, but for me,
I would go if there's like a Wemby rookie card,
(19:31):
which you know is going to be worth three hundred
thousand dollars. This guy's a mutant. I was watching the
Spurs game on Friday. I had it on the background.
I had a buddy of mine over who were watching
the Spurs and the Golden State Wars because it was
the only thing on our guy, mister Harlan was calling
the game for Amazon with Brent Barry. So I was
(19:53):
watching that and I'm checking on, like Wemby is the
tall version of Kyler Murray, you know when you're watching
the Cardinals and alligator arms Murray and it's like, well,
I think my TV broke. That guy doesn't look like
he belongs to him? Is like a glitch. What's up
with the thing of a jig but what you might
call it? And I'm watching the Spurs game and all
(20:15):
these guys are really tall, the tall people play basketball,
and Wemby looks like he does not belong It's like,
wait a minute, who puts Sasquatch on the court? Sasquatch
shouldn't be out there? What's up with that? So it's
pretty wacky, pretty wacky about Kevin. Thank you. I'll glad
you are a regular emailer to The Fifth Hour mail Bag.
(20:39):
It doesn't mean like if you would like to email
the podcast for a future edition of the mail Bag.
First of all, follow the podcast, subscribe to the podcast.
That helps us out a lot the Fifth Hour podcast
as the audio content does not end even here on
NFL Sundays like today. Yeah, so next up, says Jose.
(20:59):
He says, hello, Lord Ben and mister g nor Cal.
Jose now in Massachusetts. He says, what do you think
of Tom Brady killing the Raiders back in the snowball
game and then now killing them again by all the
dumb hirings he did, But this time they deserve it
(21:23):
for leaving Oakland. And I think all the NorCal people
love you because of your hate of the Dodgers and Lakers.
Makes it fun for us. And what happened to your
little brother, David Finley? I think you mean Brian Finley.
He says, that's from Jose. Well, I don't hate the Dodgers.
(21:43):
I did the Dodger radio postgame show for a little
bit back in the day. I just I don't like
the hubris of the Dodgers. They're not reinventing the wheel.
They're spending more money than anyone else, which I'm fine with.
They're winning. You should win when you spend a lot
of money. I want to work for a boss that
spends a lot of money. It's one of those things,
(22:04):
Jose that I find ridonculous among sports fans. They're like
ripping and mocking the teams that spend a lot of money.
I know, as an employee, I would like to work
for a company that values their employers their employees rather
and is going to spend a lot of money. Why
would I want to work for a nickel and dime operation.
I would much rather If I was a baseball player,
(22:25):
I'd want to play for the Dodgers as opposed to
the Brewers or the Rays or the A's or one
of those type teams. But that being said, that being said,
I'm not going to sit here behind these microphones and
listen to the bull crap propaganda that's out there. It's
just for today. I mean, these fanboys just made me
(22:45):
want a puke in my mouth. As far as Brian
Finley Daddy, which I believe you're relating to, I think
he's doing some tennis play by player. I don't know.
We were work friends, and when you're work friends, that's it.
It's all over, you know, He'll usually what happens with
work friends, I'll explain. So, I think we all have
work friends. But with work friends, you're friendly with them
(23:06):
because you have to be. You work with them, and
you only see them at work. You don't socialize, and
so then when so and so is over, the relationship
is over. You move on. That's it. Each go your
separate ways. And normally, what I've experienced is that people
I used to work with who were work friends, when
they lose their job, they will reach out to me, Hey,
(23:29):
do you know anyone the hiring or do you know
so and so at that radio station over there in Omaha,
something along those lines. Also, Jose says, my daughter Marlene
says hello, Hello, Marlene. She says hello again. She is
nine and loves your show, listens to everything on the
(23:49):
radio show, on the podcast, and wants to know when
the Malard merch is coming out. Well, Jose, were we've
had a setback. I feel back because every time I
talk about this stuff, I think we're close to something.
Something inevitbly happened. It's Maler's law, not Murphy's law. It's
Maler's law. So I thought there were two things I've
(24:10):
talked about a lot on this podcast, the Ohio meet
and greet, which we thought we had nailed down. Somebody
bailed out last minute, and I just said, I screw it,
We'll just wait until next year. We'll just wait until
next year. No one has reached out to step up
for the Ohio Malor Meet and greet. We did have
somebody lined up that was going to kind of be
boots on the ground and had said they had a
(24:32):
venue and all this stuff, and unfortunately they turned out
to be a flake, which is it happens and that's
just life. They said, some stuff happened. They couldn't do
it anymore, which is disappointing, and we'll figure it out
in twenty twenty six. The other thing is the malor merch.
I had some stuff lined up. There were some logos
that I had been sent some different products that the
(24:55):
person I won't say their name here because this still
could work out. A person who's a fan of show
had sent some stuff over said what do you think
of this? What do you think of that? You know
we can sell this, we can sell that, blah blah blah,
T shirt ideas, all this stuff, and now I'm all ears.
I'm like, okay, you know it sounds good. Let's you
know that's what's going to take to start this. Let's
get this thing started. Oh, you need a website. Okay,
(25:16):
we'll get a website. Fine, all right, we've got to
price it out. Okay, we'll price it out. Do you
want to have stuff available all the time? Do you
want a limited edition? I said, well, let's let's do
limited edition. Do you want to have pre order? I said, sure,
why not, we'll save some money. Well, and we'll make it.
We'll make this stuff more valuable. So I was going
through all this stuff, Jose, I was like, okay, so
we'll have a limited run, one shirt every couple of months,
(25:38):
and then first come, first serve. When they're sold out,
they're sold out, limited edition, and that's that. And and
so that thing is on hold not now. That is
unlike the Ohio thing, which the guy said I can't
do it, and I haven't heard from him since. Unfortunately,
that was gonna be in the Cincinnati area. Had a
said he had a venue picked out, a place there
(26:00):
in Cincinnati. I don't know what Cincinnati pizza is like.
I hope it's better than the chili, which Justin says
is disgusting. U. So we'll keep you posted, Jose and
your cute little daughter there, mar Lee, and so we'll
see what happens next up. Scott from Florida writes in, says, Hey, Ben,
so it sounds like the malarmobile has massive mileage. Yeah,
(26:22):
that is correct. That would be accurate if you were
to replace it. In a dream world, would the new
Malarmobile be a Malar Mitsubishi, a Malarmiata or a Malar
Mazarati or a Malar Mercedes, Or would you just trade
it back to the Maybach dealership where you originally bought
it for a newer model. Maybe go a different direction
(26:45):
like a Malard motorcycle or a Malar moped. I see
what you did there, Scott. Very very funny, very funny.
The most comfortable car that I have ever driven in
I've told this story in the past. If you've heard
it before, just fast. The most comfortable car I've ever
driven was in Cleveland. We were at the World Series
(27:06):
years ago and we rented the only car that was available.
We did not plan on renting this. When we got
to the airport, they said, we have one car left,
take it or that's it. It was a full size
Lincoln Continental and is the most enjoyable rental car I've
ever had. And that seat and that Lincoln Continental was
(27:27):
like sitting on your sofa. We were driving around northern
Ohio and we stayed so far we were covering the
World Series. We stayed right near the Pennsylvania line. There
was this out in the Boondocks we drove by. I
don't even know if it's still there. It was like
a SeaWorld Ohio thing that was this how long ago?
This was that was really comfortable, really really comfortable. I
(27:49):
will never buy another new car. I don't make daytime
radio money. Don't make daytime radio money, so by a
pre owned, certified pre owned is the way to go.
Even that's expense, even that's expensive. Next up on the mailbag,
Art from Nevada writes in and says, hey, Ben, I
saw that your buddy Lebron recently revealed that golf is
(28:10):
his hobby, saying that he's addicted to the sport. Are
you a golf guy? No, I had golf clubs. I
would golf once a year. Art and Golf's one of
those things where you have to have a lot of
free time and you gotta have a little bit of
(28:31):
money in order for it to work. I don't have
a lot of free time. I have a daily talk show,
I have a podcast. I work seven days a week,
so that's a problem. I don't have a lot of money.
I do. Okay, I'm not poor whatever, I just am not.
People come up to me and they think that I'm
making Coward money and I'm not even making as much
(28:52):
as Cowhard's boardop. Okay, so that is not happening. Okay,
that is not happening. But I got rid of my
golf clubs, and I was trying to get some. In fact,
if anyone like Who's a Fantas Podcast, if you're a
fan listening to this, obviously you're still listening to the mailbag,
if you know where I can get relatively inexpensive golf
(29:13):
clubs for someone who's of a tall size, because I
can't use regular golf clubs. I want to get a
new set of golf clubs. One thing I would really enjoy.
I don't know that I want to play golf, like
a full round of golf anytime soon. I don't have
the time for it. What I do have the time
for is when I have a really frustrating situation where
(29:36):
I get upset at somebody maybe I work with, or
I get upset with the way things are going, or
I did a bad show, I think it would be
so cool to take my golf clubs, my tall sized
golf clubs, my driver and go down to there's a
couple of golf courses here in the north Woods and
go to one of the golf courses and just go
(29:59):
to the driving room and just whack, just absolutely whack
some golf balls. Just go for it.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Love.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I love that. It'd be great. So I've been able
to find them. If you know, like a little cheat
code on how to find reasonably priced I'm willing to
spend a little bit, but not insane. I went to
a PGA Tour golf store, which was an amazing store.
They had everything. My god, it was awesome until I
(30:29):
looked at the price tags and then I'm like, okay,
bye bye bye bye. Next up JT the Wingman on
the mail bag, he says, Dear Ben and Danny g
With the holiday season taking full swing, what one thing
about all the hustle and bustle of family get together
as work parties, gift giving, holiday feast, new tireraq dot com,
(30:51):
live reads and holiday music endlessly playing on music radio
and retail stores? Do you like the most and the least?
That is from JT. The wing Man. So what I
do not like is the scams of Black Friday, which
is coming up not that far away. The scams where
(31:15):
a lot of these websites right now are raising raising
the price of everything on their websites. So then in
ten days or whenever Black Friday is, it's not gonna
be here. Well what Thanksgivings a week from Thursday? So
you do the math anyway when they say, hey, we've
(31:35):
taken forty percent off the price, and then you realize, well,
you just raised the price by forty percent ten days ago.
You didn't lower the price. You're just backed to the
normal price. So the term up to in the artificial
rigging of the prices. As far as what I like,
I love the Malar themed holiday music. Hopefully our friend
(31:58):
Lorena will play that. I'm going to encourage her to
play those Mallar theme songs the holiday music at least
one one an hour. I think that would be great.
Pretty much net neutral. On the parties, there's a lot
of parties. We've got two We've got a friends party,
and then we've got a family party that we hosted
(32:20):
the Malor mansion. So it's give me a lot, a
lot of baking. I'll be Benny the baker making all
kinds of delicious stuff for the parties. So I'm okay
on that. What about you, JT. You should have told me. JT.
The wingman from just outside Knoxville, Tennessee, Ferg Dog writes
in from South Fullerton, the meanest part of town. He says, Hey,
(32:41):
happy Cranberry sauce, Ben and Danny g you made a
big mistake last week. Ben, you were talking about fixing
up the old malardmobile and you mentioned not replacing the tires.
Winter is coming. You should buy a set of Yokohama
snow tires from tire rack dot com. I did best
purchase I've ever made. Well, very kind and that's a
(33:04):
ringing endorsement from Ferg Dog. Anyway, he says, does the
rule of not talking not taking time off during football
season only apply to the host, because it seems like
certain people have taken a lot of time off lately,
says Ferg Dog. Yeah, Hey, I used to get really
worked up for Dog. At some point just threw my
(33:28):
arms in the air and said, I much like football coaches,
you can only control the controllables. I have a tremendous
passion for what I do. I realize that not a
lot of people do for whatever reason. I'm a type
a personality when it comes to the radio show. It
is my entire life, and unfortunately, there's a lot of
(33:49):
people that in general are in radio and they're floaters.
They're lazy, They're like DMV employees. They show up at
the last minute, they don't do any work. When you
ask them to do work, they complain. So I just
I do everything and that's it, and I don't whether
they're there or not. One of the great things I've
learned over the years. When you do everything and the
(34:12):
people that are supposed to prop you up do nothing
and they don't show up, it doesn't matter. The show's
the same because they don't add anything that important to
the show. So it is actually one of the cool
things about this is that I'm very confident whoever I
end up, whatever, I've worked with a bunch of people
(34:34):
naming any names here, But when someone I've worked with
hasn't been there at any point, I'm like, at one
point I was like, oh man, I really need this person,
and then I was let down so many times by
people I work with that I just realized, no, I'm
never going to depend on anyone because they don't do it.
So I control the controllables and I just worry about
(34:57):
what I can do to make the show great. And
that's it. Barry from South Carolina, right say, says Yo Yo, Ma,
Benny and Danny g Now Barry's the guy that helped
put together the great Charleston Mallar meet and greet that
we did. He says, So you can buy a Bob
Ross painting? Are you gonna buy one? And then he
points out that there were three Bob Ross paintings that
(35:19):
hit the auction block and fans can drop fifty thousand
dollars and own a happy little original. Well, that's a
great question, Barry. I was a huge Bob Ross fan.
I did not realize at the time I was a
Bob Ross fan. I used to skip out on school
because I hated going to school, and I would sit
home and we didn't have the internet, so I was
(35:40):
a prisoner of television, and I would watch The Prices
right in the morning, and there were some other game
shows that were on, and then about midday they rolled
out the soap operas. Well, I don't care about soapropers.
I don't know, that's not my jam. I didn't like
the drama at the time, so then I would flip
over to and inevitably at some point Bob Ross would
(36:02):
be on there with his happy little mistakes and all that,
and I just have that. And it was always fascinating
to me, even as a kid. Bob Ross could take
this little piece of canvas, this blank canvas, and paint
the forest and the mountains and all that. I thought,
that's pretty cool. Unfortunately, Barry, I do not have fifty
thousand dollars. That would be a hell of a gift.
(36:23):
That would be a hell of a gift if someone
wants to send that in feel free. What else do
we have? Let's see here page down Kwang from Ho
Chi Minh, Vietnam Rights. He says, Ben, it sounds like
Jed who fled had one of the two types of
myo cardial infractions art attacks, it says. St STEMI occurs
(36:51):
when a coronary artery is completely blocked, causing significant damage
to the heart muscle, and then category number two occurs
when the coronary artery is partially blocked, causing less severe damage.
So mal or militia, let's get into it and get
a regular checkup, please and thank you, he says. Ps.
(37:13):
I do miss that. Martina navert Tolova drop from Quay
Well you know, Danny g you'll probably put that in
right here. Danny, you want to, Danny, can you can
you put that Martina Navert Toloba drop in? Yeah, we'll see,
We'll see if you can do it. Yeah, find it now, okay,
Alf writes in from the fast lane. He says, greetings, gentlemen,
(37:34):
have you ever had a vanity license plate or specialty plate?
Here in the Commonwealth, we have all kinds of specialty
plates that benefit causes like the Jimmy Fund, sports specific
plates like six time champion Pats and Basketball Hall of
Fame and a newly res released Doctor Seuss plate to
name a few. That's pretty cool. Well, I've never had
(37:55):
specialty plates. When I first started driving, my mom is like,
you got to get a specialty plate because she had
a specialty plate which had the name of the business,
the family business that she had started on the car
to promote the business. So she got me clip Fan.
I had the license plate clip Fan custom plate in
(38:18):
Socaw that was that was my license plate. And you know,
for a few years when I was in like high
school and the clippers were terrible, and I always get
these looks like I was driving people like what are
you doing with that? I was like, well, my mom
thought it would be a good idea, you know if
they did it, and yeah, that was that was it.
But those are really cool. I don't do we have
those in California. I would if I lived in the
(38:41):
common with I'd get the Doctor Seuss. I'd go for
the Doctor Seuss. Frank from Vancouver rights in and he says, hey, Ben,
your monologue on the Packers par particularly Micah Parsons after
the embarrassing loss, was a bit off base, Frank, and
Vancouver says, first off, to give you your props. The
Packer offense at Jordan Love have been poopoo, coca and poopoo.
(39:06):
I don't know why. It may be that he's not
that good. Lafleur may be a bonehead. I don't know.
Maybe Love just isn't good and we Packer fans would
be asking to win the lottery one more time at quarterback,
which would be insane. Of course I wish, but insane. Anyways,
says where you were way off base is your criticism
(39:28):
of Michael Parts. He may not have had any sacks,
not a lot of pressures had none, but the other
guys did. He made them look good unselfishly, he says.
It says analogize that to your show, you make Lorena
and or Coop the Loop look good or vice versa. Well,
(39:51):
I would love to have you, Frank as my boss.
I would love to In fact, I'm gonna take credit
for Dan Patrick and Colin Cowhart going in the Radio
Hall of Fame, and I'm gonna say that I made
them look good unselfishly. As a talk show host, everyone
knows the most important part. If you were to look
at the pyramid of radio, the overnight show is the
most important thing. And so because we have a strong
(40:14):
overnight show, that helped Dan Patrick, and it helped Calherd
get into the Hall of Fame. And so really, I
made those guys look good. I'm using the Frank in
Vancouver logic on this. Frank says, is a die hard
packer apologist. I gotta say, this is the first time
in years that we didn't need to go score forty
(40:35):
points in order to win a game. This defense, other
than one stinker which everyone has had, is great to
the point we only need fourteen points to win the issue,
of course, is that we can't somehow get to fourteen
points anymore. Nevermind forty, go pack, go Frank in Vancouver. Well, Frank,
thank you, thank you, thank you for listening. And I
(40:56):
love that you were so taken aback by my take
on Micah Parsons that you got all upset. Yeah. I've
gotten a lot of angry emails this week about monologues,
which tells me that I'm doing something right. That apparently
they tell me to have a strong opinion about things.
That's kind of the job. It goes with the job.
And when you have strong opinions, guys like Frank and
(41:17):
Vancouver get upset. I've had several people who are Yankee
fans very upset with me. You are so wrong about
cal Rawley. I can't believe it. Oh my god. And
it's always like I used to like your show and
I can't listen anymore. And I'm like, Okay, that's fine,
you don't have to listen. I mean, I do get
paid whether you listen or not. I mean, it's nice
(41:38):
if you listen. It's more fun to have more people listening.
But if you're that hurt by an opinion, then just
listen to the Yankee postgame show, listen to Yankee Talk.
It's like I told those people with KERSHAWF you're upset
with my opinion of kershaw'll just listen to guys like
David Vasse, the mouthpiece for the Dodgers, Wow. And you
know he's got his knee pads on and he'll give
you everything you need on that every pot positive Dodger
(42:01):
propaganda piece he'll give you. I'm not that guy. I'm
critical and that creates problems. I will get out on that.
I got football to watch, I got things to do.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening all weekend.
You just had me a solo version on the Fifth
Hour podcast. Be well, enjoy the football. I'll be back
tonight on the radio all night long. No days off,
(42:23):
no days off this week, So we'll do that and
we'll catch you on the flip side tonight later. Skater,
go away, gotta murder. I gotta go
Host
Ben Maller
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