April 17, 2022 • 46 mins
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Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. to have some fun with the mail bag, answering select P1 questions from the #MallerMilitia on this edition! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, dred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the Clearinghouse of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, back at
it on a Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, No need for applause.
It is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
g Radio and your dreams have come true eight days
(00:49):
a week. Then Jam is in the house. So they
called me back when I was in DJ Danny, they
call me Ben Jammen back in the day, and wrong,
you're not that guy pill Trust me, you're not that guy.
That could be true. But it's the Sunday Podcast and
that means, Danny, you know what that means. I got
my toy. I gotta I gotta play with you. Trouble trouble, trouble,
(01:11):
trouble trouble. No, it's not where we say no, we're
not saying bye bye because we we never we never
say bye bye, right, we don't believe in that. No
days off Dan, correct, correct, I'll add in my own
drop right here. Next thing I know, I just saw
this white thing flying at my face. Oh yeah, I'm
gonna add mine right here. That's political bullshit, That's what
(01:33):
I'm saying. Right there. A drop battle. It's a drop battle.
You want to you want to drop battle? Okay? Oh yeah,
right there? Yeah, what is still wrong with the Clippers?
Oh you better watch out. You're better not shout. That's right,
(01:54):
you evil, evil man. Some people do dance battles, We
do drop battles. Yeah. Yeah, And really, when you think
about it's not that guy. I'll trust me, You're not
that guy exactly. And with the first pick in the
NFL draft, the Jacksonville Jag select Danny g Radio. I
(02:18):
thought you were gonna say, Marcus Mariotto. Mariotto enjoyable there
and we also love we love the hits. We love
the classics when it comes to the show, including the
Star WARSNI does anyone enjoy this as much as I do?
(02:42):
I don't know. I just sing hitting random buttons here.
It's it's a lot of fun. Wow, I'm having a
good time here. I don't know if you're listening is
having a good time, but I'm enjoying. All right, let's
get to the let's get to the star of the show,
the main event, Danny. What do you say here? You
ready to do this? Let's do it all? Here we go.
This is right, strike up the band. Well, thanks to
(03:11):
our buddy ohio Al for making that male song long
long ago, and here we are still playing it on
the radio today because it's perfect. It's the perfect way
to start the mail bag. And these are actual questions
sending by actual listeners of the show. There were no
made up questions here, no clowns at all. Got involves.
(03:33):
So these are actual emails from actual members of the
Malar Mush or postings on the Facebook page. And we'd
love to have you join the mail bag family. That
would be really cool. And the way you do it,
you can send a message in right now. You don't
have to wait. You can email me right now, Real
fifth hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com. That's spell it out. R E A
(03:56):
L F I F T h our h O you
are at gmail dot com. Or you can wait till Tuesday.
I post the message on Facebook and then we welcome
in the messages you can post right. David mill Valley
kicks us off here. He says, Ben, as your wife
(04:17):
ever listened to the radio show or the Fifth Hour podcast?
If she has, what does she think and if she
has it, would she be pleased or just made if
she did the same question for Danny Gara Deli and
his Tenderroni. So I'll go first out. We've talked about
this dandy in the past when you were giving advice
(04:38):
on the radio. Anybody that's worked in the radio business
knows when you first start dating a young woman. I
assume what works the same way the other way, but
I only know the women part. So when you date
a young woman and all that, they're very excited when
you they find out you're work in radio, and they
listen to everything you have to say, and they want
to hear every show. And then after a while they
(05:01):
never listen to anything that you do. They want nothing
to do with that. Uh. And as far as my wife,
she's the same way, although occasionally she does tell me
that she listens to this podcast, actually this Saturday podcast.
She likes the Saturday podcast because she says, it's the
only time I talk about my life because, as you know, Danny, uh,
(05:26):
I get a little burned out talking during the week,
and I we record these podcasts near the end of
the week, so by the time the weekend comes on,
I don't want to talk to anything. I just want
to be like a magician and vanish and you, Dany,
I'm gonna get out of here and not talk and
take a valve silence and all that. But she does
listen to Saturday podcast a little bit because I'll tell
(05:46):
stories about her and the and the family and stuff
that's going on in the house. But the radio show,
he's got a big sports man. When I first met her,
she told me she didn't like talk radio, and the
other thing she said she hated because her dad used
to listen to talk radio. She's a little girl growing up.
She didn't like. And then she told me she didn't
like TMZ. At the time, I was in the running
(06:07):
to run TMZ Sports and she told me she hated
t MZ. So was it wonderful wonderful thing? Anyway? Anyway, Danny,
what about your experience. I think you summed it up
really well there, because I've had the same experience with
my Tenderroni right now, except she does download the Fifth
Hour podcasts automatically to her phone and on her Monday
(06:30):
commute she does listen. Now, I don't know how thorough.
I don't know if she listens to the whole show.
But for whatever reason, she has radar been because whenever
you and I tell old stories about stuff we did
in our twenties, maybe with other girls and things like that,
for some reason she hears those stories and then I
(06:52):
get comments back afterwards, and you told her, of course,
I'm sure you're told your tenderon E that it is
part of the creative process to occasionally mix intertwine nonfiction
and fiction, and you don't know which part is fiction
or nonfiction. It's a mosaic. You're painting a word picture
(07:15):
on the radio, in the in the air and all
that stuff. And then she probably comes back and says, hey, Danny,
shut the funk up. Okay, shut the fuck up. He's like, dud,
you're never taking me there. I'm not ever going to
that place with you. Yeah, well it is. You have
certain places with someone you're dating, and then you can't.
(07:35):
You can't. It's like Ghostbusters you don't cross the stream
away from those places anyways. And I always tell her,
I'm like, you know what, from the very first kiss
we had, it magically erased all the other women I
ever kissed or had anything to do with. So you
don't have to worry about that, because once we kissed,
it erased everything. My memory erased. Yeah. It was like
(08:00):
the neuralizer from Men in Black with agent. It was
an agent, k right. You know, once you neuralize there,
you freeze your eyes, you lose focus, and then all
of a sudden you were raised all the members. That
Will Smith guy in that movie, he'll slap you. That's
sorry that if they made Men in Black now, he
would just come over. Will would just slap you across
the face and you lose all your memory just like that.
(08:24):
Man would all be awesome, it'll be so cool. Unfortunately there,
I don't think they're gonna be making that movie now.
Will Smith has been banned from the Academy words but
he can still win? Is he still eligible to win?
How is that a bad thing? He doesn't have to
get dressed up in a in a penguin suit and
go out there. He pulled himself out though, remember, so
(08:47):
maybe he can't be nominated then because of how he
pulled himself out of the Academy. Remember, now, he's been
pretty good at generating revenue for the movie studios. Does
this help him or hurt him? Or will we hear
from him again? I'm not a big movie guy, but
(09:08):
you know, I know in the media business, any publicity
is good publicity and all that. In America, we love
to see our stars crash and burn and then a
little bit later down the road, we like a good
comeback story. All on Tiger Woods. Is that still true though?
I thought we're still I don't know about that. Is
(09:29):
that stuff you think it's just it's just burn and
stay burned? Yeah, I think it's now scorched earth. It's
completely burn it, burn it up. Man, that's what you
gotta do. I think, I don't. I hope I'm I'm
wrong on that. But Will Will would definitely have a
future if they want to make a well he was
what what was the boxing movie? He was in a
(09:50):
boxing movie? What Muhammad? Yeah, the Muhammad Ali movie. So
they could you can make like they made a Mike
Tyson movie. Is that Is that a thing yet? With
I think so so they could have him do that,
that's an option. Yeah. So yeah, there you go. So
we'll keep any that all right. Now, next up on
the mail bag, these are actual questions from actual listeners
(10:16):
of the Fifth Hour podcast, and we answer these questions
right here. It's amazing. All right, come back, pay attention.
It's time from I'll call. That's right. Next up is
Tammy and Montana, and Tammy says, hey, Ben and Danny
g clarification on my Tommy's Chili dog experience. Yeah, we
(10:39):
were wondering, like, there's no Tommy's in Montana, So what
the hell was that all about? Were we being horn swaggled,
let astray by our friend Tammy in Montana? Well, she
is here to explain that her friend purchased frozen hot
dogs and frozen chili from tom his website and had
(11:01):
them shipped to Montana. That was one of your guesses.
Al right, So I got that right, and I I
am surprised. I wonder that tastes like that because there's
a one of my favorite delis is in Manhattan and
they send the pastrami around the country and I'm like,
I don't know, this is gonna taste that good if
I get it and I have to put it together
(11:23):
and all that I don't I am I gonna say
to that? I don't know? Uh, Tammy uh, says Ben.
I was wondering what happened to hideous Hellen's childhood? Here
we go again, Danny, here we go. You got warring
factions Montana versus the state of Florida. What is going
(11:44):
on with this? People have never met each other, but
they are very upset with each other. And it's a yeah.
Uh so. The email goes, I was one ofing what
happened to hideous Helen's childhood? That she is so delusional
(12:04):
power couple, powerfully narcissistic. Yes, there is only one power couple.
That's the humble Leslie and Jack. How delusional Helen is
to think her favorite restaurant, Golden Corral is a fine
dining steakhouse. Shots fired. Helen is a narcissistic liar who
(12:26):
needs to self enhanced to feel better about her pathetic,
white trash life. Have a great weekend, you guys deserve it.
Signed Dammy in Montana man. All right, well, thank you,
thank you for that, Tammy man. All right. The next
(12:48):
up is the rebuttal from Helen and Stu in Palmetto Bay.
And this email starts ben in Danny hold on, I say, see,
I don't want Helen to send me a nasty message, Danny,
because I didn't give her the proper the proper salute.
So let me let me take care of that. Right now,
here we go. I got mail, yea, I got mail, yea.
(13:12):
All right, here we go. It says a few comments
and the question about your glue couple, cam Newton laid
a few eggs this week, preferring his women know how
to cook and know when to keep quiet. Why was
that such a big deal? Like? Who cares if Cam
Newton wants women to certain I like what, I don't
understand that sexist. I saw a lot of comments saying, hey,
(13:37):
this dude has like seven kids out of wedlock, maybe
he should get married if he wants traditional he likes
to pretend, you know, the marriage, probably likes the relationship process.
He enjoys the stooping part of that. He's a big
fan of that. And apparently, uh, there's a lot of
empty nets there for him. He's put the the biscuit
(14:00):
in the basket multiple times there anyway, Helen says Mr Newton,
you sexist, free agent clown ship as a sports savvy
woman who knows how to bake and cook and not
keep quiet like now, if it's the fourth quarter of
the Super Bowl and you're down one score and you
(14:21):
fumble and the balls bouncing around at your feet like
my home cooked roast, You're not supposed to react like
a Beverly Hills housewife who just saw a mouse run
into the kitchen, fall on the damn ball. No risk it,
no super Bowl biscuit. That's a good line, shot line.
(14:41):
That is the defining moment of Cam Newton as an
NFL player. That's it for me on the show. Though
there were so many funny things that Cam Newton did
on our radio show, but during the early years there
he had maybe had the Rosie the riveter ran there.
(15:02):
There was a game he played also in Nashville, and
some woman wrote a letter to the newspaper. They're complaining
about Cam Newton's chest puffs, pelvic thrust and arrogant struts.
I sold that line. I used that line about a
lot of people over the years. And my favorite Cam
Newton story of all time. You remember this dandy from
working on the show was when Carolina was struggling in
(15:23):
twelve and with a seemingly straightfits. Can't believe it's been
ten years since has happened. But cam Newton decided that
the key to the Carolina Panthers turning things around at
that time was a suggestion box in the locker room
(15:43):
that you could blindly leave suggestions on how to prove
improve the team. That was That was a ten. That
was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen,
because I have my own experiences. We've talked about this
in the past. If you knew the show with the
suggestion box. I worked at a radio station. Program director
came in said, hey, I don't care. You know, you
(16:05):
guys can write whatever you want. I'm not gonna judge you.
I'm not gonna I don't want to know. I just
want to know what you're upset about with the radio station.
So of course some of the producers who were making
ship money and did not like the programming on the
radio station wrote letters in and then it was it
was on, and it was exaggerated, how come I'm not
(16:30):
on the schedule this week? It was so still it's
still going. And finally died. But no, the point is
the guy said, do whatever you want, we don't care.
And then he was a police interrogation. He brought everyone
in one by one at the radio station until he
(16:52):
found out who sent the letter in and the guy
got let go, and that he he ended up selling
real estate. I think a lot of money in real estate.
Uh was the guy that was one of the producers. So,
speaking of Star Wars, it's that famous line. Yeah, oh, totally,
totally it was. It's hilarious. Helen's email continues. Boys, speaking
(17:17):
of NFL quarterbacks, Eddie do just enough work to get paid.
Garcia Steelers quarterback Dwayne Haskins died this Wow, you would
think in a perfect world a garbage time quarterback would
be hit and killed by wait for it, a garbage wall. Helen,
come on, it's not right here, taste. That's how dare you? Anyways,
(17:40):
she says from last week's mail bag, if there is
one woman who knows hot dogs, it's Tammy and Montana.
So Helen getting a shot in at Tammy. She says,
rest in peace, Gilbert Godfried a funny jew that is true. Ben,
In closing a quick three part follow up question for
Danny G. Danny Helen writes, per you're entertaining Donald Trump.
(18:04):
Story Number one, did you get the raise? Number two?
Since Trump called the show on his personal cell phone,
did you capture his phone number on caller I D
and number three? If so, have you ever drunk dialed
the number? Let's see peace out? Helen and Stu palmetto
Bay floors. Well, no, yes and no, I haven't drunk out. Wait, wait,
(18:28):
you have Donald Trump's personal cell phone number. I have
the number. I have the number had a former president's
phone number. I don't know if it's working or not
right now. I could try it. I guess we could
get your Trump on the podcast. Wait a minute, here,
you could sit down interview with you, he Mr former President,
(18:50):
it's Danny G. You told me I'd get a raised.
I didn't get a raised, but I want to have
you on think yes, no, our boss. I remember after
the first interview he told me, man, that was awesome.
I got emails congratulating me in Clay and Uh from
both bosses. I thought, well, this, I guess, is the
(19:11):
raise right here? Wrong? And then after the second interview,
where Trump admitted that he said I should get a raise,
I thought, well, this will seal the deal. I'm definitely
gonna get a raise, and it didn't happen. Well, it's
in the mail. It's in the mail. It might have
been lost in the mail, but it's in the mood.
That's cool. I did not realize you had Donald Trump's
phone number. That's that's next level. Maybe the phone he
(19:35):
was using belong to the White House. I'm not sure,
but it like it seemed like his personal phone, the
way he was, the way he was just kicking it
on the phone. Yeah. I went through my contact list
the other day randomly, and I was like, wow, there's
a lot of people in here that aren't alive anymore.
That was that was the eye opener here. That's always there.
(19:58):
I never I never take anyone's number out of my
phone when they die. Yeah, I feel like that's my tribute.
I saw the Great Frank's number in my phone. Yes, yeah,
the big cod piece Frank. You know, there's still his
memorial um like the program or whatever, the program, the remembrance,
(20:20):
we still have that hanging in the studio. And so
every right around the Super Bowl every year we talked
about Frank. Oh yeah, I love Frank. And I mentioned
Frank this week on the air. We were talking about
John Sterling totally botched a home run call and Frank.
I love Frank because he was it was so quick
catlike reflexes. Every weekend when Frank was my guy, we
(20:42):
would place the Yankee roll call. We called it yes
that Yeah, it was great, and we'd go through all
here's the Yankee lineup, and we played John Sterling home
round calls and Frank had all of them at that
at his fingertips. I mean, it was good to go
on that. It was. It was pretty cool. Back in
a day. I'm trying to think dead people. I have
(21:02):
Tommy the Swords number. He's Larry King. He's in here,
the late Larry King. Let's see here, page Dan, page Dan.
I have some I guess he's still alive, this guy,
but he's dead to me. The guy we're supposed to
have last week, he didn't. He didn't get back to us.
(21:23):
See who else is checked out? Oh, Jimmy Ray from
Tampa Bay, the caller for the show. I have his number.
I don't know how I got Yeah, I got his
number when he got sick. I did some some calls
to try to cheer him up, and then he passed away.
Let's see, I got Holler and James in there. I
do not have Halloween James phone. I do not women
white women. You d add that to my list. Darrell
(21:47):
Hamilton's I have his. Remember Daryl baseball player Daryl. I
did TV with him briefly. He was murdered by a woman. Murder, murder,
suicide in Houston. Great guy, starting to get dark. Yeah,
I probably should stop. Probably, there's a few others in
here that are not going down murder memory lane. I
(22:10):
feel like Cowboy in Windsor. I'm doing all right. Here's
the death report. This guy died. That guy died. My
dentist died. I have Johannes John's number. Not the terrorist,
the guy that used to call the radio show and
he quit. He retired from the show Rain, which was
very bizarre. I still don't understand quite how that happened,
but it did. And uh whatever, what even? Good luck?
(22:31):
All right? Moving Pierre from Springfield, Massachusetts, rights and he
says this pandemic has spawned the birth of online ordering.
An in store pickup or curbside pickup. An East Coast
competitor of Costco is called b J's Wholesale Club. While
(22:51):
b J's offers online order and same day pick up,
Costco here does not. While I'm sure you would not
partake and rubside pickup because you wouldn't be able to
grab your samples. Does Costco on the West Coast offer
online ordering and in store pick up or do you
utilize the service at other store? So I've never used that, Like, well,
(23:17):
I do know the Costco near the Mallard mansion. They
have a bunch of lockers in the front where they
leave orders, so they do have in store pick up,
And I'm not sure about the online I don't know
how all that other stuff works. I've I've really not
partected that if you bought anything in that area, Danny,
are you familiar with that? No. Costco for us is
(23:38):
one of those stores where half the experience is going
in and walking all those big aisles. Yeah, for sure,
and you you want to see stuff you haven't seen.
They usually have products that aren't there that long. They
have temporary things that come in and so and the
samples which are kind of back, but it's not the same.
(23:58):
They're back like on a small time basis. Yeah, I
mean before garry hitting mass and and it's really sad man,
because as you know, you could, you know, kind of
make at least an appetizer run at Costco. Back in
the day, Back in the old days, I would go
there and that was before I was fasting all the time.
(24:19):
And I would go there and I'd make the rounds.
I'd be fighting my My wife would be so upset
with me because I'd be fighting like old Asian women,
old dudes and uh, fighting these grandmothers and grandpas to
try to get samples at Costco. And she's like, what
are you doing? Oh my god, who the hell can stop?
That's just food, you know, I you look like you've
(24:40):
never eaten before that whole Uh. But I love the
people who pretend like they're going to buy the product. Yeah,
well there's that. There's that move, like you start engaging
the sample person like, well, tell me more about the product,
and then they have all the talking points so then
they're like, okay, so this is the the way you know,
(25:00):
the products started to hear blah blah blah and know
that whole thing, and you're like, well, what what the
what you come on? And you really just want the food.
But The cool thing is when somebody does engage that
distracts the sample person, so then you can come in
for the kill shot and get more of the food. Yeah,
so you're not even paying attention to the fact that
(25:23):
you're there for thirds. It's like magic. The key to
magic is distraction. You must distract the eye. And once
you distract the eye, you're good to go on that
and so that's that's the key. Anyway, thank you Pierre
for that. I am looking forward when I go on
my Midwest East Coast sodiurn. I do plan I don't
(25:44):
think my wife knows this yet, but I do plan
on going to costcos in every city I visit, because
I have heard and our guys in Canada. I think
it was in Vancouver. A listener in Vancouver pointed out
that they have chicken fingers in the the food area
at Costco. So I was like, Oh, I gotta see
what they have, Like maybe in Wisconsin they have cheese
(26:04):
curds or something like that, or poutine or something like
So I'm looking forward to seeing what they are. I'll
be there. Wow. All right. Next up, we have Barry
from Nashville, says yo Yo Mob Benny is there any
line where Dave Roberts would allow a picture who had
a perfect game to continue pitching, Like if he was
(26:27):
in the eighth and had a twenty pitches, does he
still pull him? And he says sorry if my tornado
story was too dark. No, your tornado story was not
not too dark. But you know we have no tornado experience.
We're not you're the tornado veteran. We're not the tornado
veterans here at all. Your opinion of Dave Robert's performance,
(26:48):
Danny g Well, I like that spott he was in there, Ben,
I like that spot he was in. Um he did
this to rich Hill, and I remember we hated on
him on the air for doing It's a rich back
then because you only have maybe one two tops opportunities
(27:10):
like this in your entire career. If you're Clayton Kershaw.
And what There's been thousands upon hundreds of thousands of
baseball games over the years, and there's only been twenty
three perfect games, and there's been like four hundred no hitters.
There's a lot of no hitters, but perfect game twenty
three of those and there should be twenty four. But Gallarago,
(27:31):
the Tigers got hosed by Jim Joyce, the umpire there
in Detroit. But the thing that was I mentioned this
on the show the other night. I did a rant
about it, is that there are so many young fans,
like you're younger than us, Danny, that this is all
they know. They they expect their players to be lazy.
They expect their players to be soft. That's what they know.
And they genuinely believe this is the way. And you
(27:55):
hear the old timers and they just roll their eyes
at this, and they're like Reggie Jackson, Mr. October a
nemesis of the Dodgers when he was at the Yankees
in those years, And Reggie Jackson is goofing on the
Dodgers and what are you doing? This is where I
would love Nolan Ryan to get in a room with
Dave Robertson just slap him across the face. Yeah, can
(28:17):
we get We should get Nolan Ryan on the show.
We should track down Nolan Ryan and see if he
would come on and explain pitching and that that or
or if you know, we should Mike Marshall is another guy,
the pitching Mike Marshall. If he's still around, I think
he's still around. He's getting up there in age. I
believe he's still around, and he's talked about this in
(28:38):
the past and stuff, so and some of those old times,
and we'll just doing a point by point on there
would make like a ven diagra, an audio ven diagram
of why it is for Gazzy what is going on
right now? And the people running baseball, our Mama Luke's
and all of sports. This disease has infiltrated all of
sports laziness. It's the mindset had always been go above
(29:04):
and beyond the call of duty, that it was a
badge of honor. Now it is a badge of honor
to be like the cliche of a d m V employee,
a government worker doing the bare minimum and nothing extra.
And that's it saying we have worked until we literally
have laryngitis. Can you imagine if you were on a
(29:26):
word count with your voice. Yeah, and you know, Ben,
you hit words on yesterday. Sho, I'm gonna have to
sit you. Brian Knows coming in tomorrow. Yeah, Ben, you've
done three podcast You've done three monologues and three podcasts.
That's enough. We want to save you for the football season.
(29:48):
So we're gonna gonna rest up a little bit. We
don't once you get laryngitis. It's it's free And Kershaw
what I know. Kershaw was towing the company line to
a point, Well what do you do? Owing in his
line there that it would have been selfish. One of
the most outrageous quotes I've ever heard from a professional athlete.
(30:09):
A Hall of Fame picture Clayton Kershaw saying it would
have been selfish to throw a perfect game. I'm Kershaw.
I would have shook Roberts off. I would have told
him to get off my mound. Dude. By yeah, I
really like myself in this spot. Take that for data.
Put that in your pipe. And the thing about it, too,
(30:29):
is Kershaw saying it's selfish. That's another thing. In the
old days, it was. It was something. It was a
feather in the cap for starting pitchers to go all
the way because you saved the bullpen. And one of
the biggest problems with baseball today, and something that the
geniuses that are running Major League Baseball have not figured out,
is these teams burned through their bullpen. They usually relief
(30:52):
pictures too much. There's a certain amount once the league
season and they become less effective, and then at the
trade deadline there's a mad dad has to get relief
pitchers because you've burned through your bullpen and now you've
got to bring relief pitchers in from somebody else, somebody
else's team, and that it's it's trickled down because the
starters don't go long in the game, they're not expected
(31:12):
to go along in the game. They believe it's now
just like the NBA players believe it's their birthright for
load management starting pitchers. How how dare you? How dare
you want me to to throw over eighty pitches? I mean,
oh my god, who the hell? Stop? Stop moving on?
(31:33):
Who else do we have? Here? A Radioactive Ryan in
Salt Lake City, Utah, this podcast blowing up in He says, Hey,
fifth hour, Fellas, I was wondering what your favorite underdog
sports event is. I was too young to remember the
Miracle on Ice, so I am going with the Giants
spoiling the Patriots undefeated season. Please tell us your selection,
(31:57):
f L Tube and screw Correa. So the one that
pop into my head here Radioactive Bryan, involves the Patriots,
but it was before the Patriots became good in the
early days of Fox Sports Radio. To me, the greatest
upset I had seen had been the Patriots with Tom
Brady and nobody a backup, beating the greatest show on turf,
(32:20):
the Mighty St. Louis Rams and Kurt Warner and all
those Bazukas that the Rams had. The Rams were the
baddest ass team in the NFL. And the fact that
the Patriots, who had a water gun, knocked out a
team that had seventeen Buzukas is stunning. So I have
(32:41):
that Patriots, who were not at that point of dynasty
by any means, beating the Rams, the greatest show on turf.
What about you, Dan, anything pop into your head there? Yeah.
The first thing that pops in my mind is when
I was a kid watching the Tumbo on the floor.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Sonics? Was it the Sonics? They
(33:04):
it was a Nuggets and the Sonics with a number
one seed. I think, okay, I'll have to look that up.
But Dad, that was a big underdog moment. And there's
that great shot of him crying on the floor lifting
the basketball up with both arms. Yeah, that that is
that is great. I think it was Nuggets against George Carl,
Shawn Kemp, Gary Payton in the SuperSonics. That's the memory
(33:27):
I have in my head. And then the more recently
those are old, and more recently would be the University
of Maryland Baltimore beating Virginia first and only sixteen seed
to bet the number one seed a Virginia was not
like an all time great number one seed, but still
you talk about a surprise motherfucker. That was one right there,
(33:50):
that that was it. Absolutely Yeah. The Nuggets made NBA
history with a shocking upset over the SuperSonics in the
first round of the Western Conference playoffs thirty years The
victory marked the first time a number eight seed at
one a series against the number one seed in the
NBA playoffs. And George Carl is going to the Hall
(34:12):
of Fame now the coach of that Sonics team. Yeah,
Ozzy Momentum says a couple of questions, guys or lads
as they say in Australia, who is your favorite movie
assassin Spy John Wick, James Bond, Jason Bourne or Ethan Hunt.
So I'm a traditional I'm gonna go with James Bond,
(34:35):
who's been around, although the Bond franchise has taken a
couple of turns here recently that I don't know that's right.
I don't agree with it, but but overall, for a
lifetime achievement, James bond uh And then I would have
Jason Bourne on there. What what about you, Danny g Yeah,
I think I would go with Matt Damon in this
spot the board identity. I kind of always liked that
(34:56):
storyline where he didn't exactly remember or no why he
was doing what he was doing, or how he got
trained to be such a badass killer. That was always
a nice element to that movie. Yeah. He also says
who would win a fight? Ozzy Momentum of the Tasmanian
Devil and Marvin the Marsha all right, so who would
(35:17):
have a competitive advantage here? So that I think the
Tasmanian Devil. In the name of the character it has devil,
So I am going to go with the Tasmanian Devil
over the iconic Marvin the Marshall. The speed and the
verocity of the Tasmanian Devil would take out Marvin the Marshall.
(35:39):
I was more concerned about him giving me a double fish.
Mike from Fullerton says, what do you think is more impressive,
the more impressive street the Clippers eleven straight winning seasons
or the King's sixteen straight the sacrament Of Kings sixteen
straight losing seasons. Well, this is easy, you understand. I
was a Clipper guy when they would never make them.
But they had the longest street. I think they ever
(36:00):
made the playoffs in San Diego. They left Buffalo, had
made the playoffs in Buffalo. Uh, And they went to Santigo,
never made the playoffs, went to l A, never made
the playoffs. They were the ones that had the record
before the King. So the fact that the Clipper franchise
came from Matt and now they are a playoff team
just about every year, wrong, wrong again, it blows me away.
(36:24):
The Clippers are every year they have a shot, they
have a shot, they have a spin of the roulette wheel.
And I know firsthand that if you suck at your job,
the Sacramento Kings you it's it's actually not that hard
to miss the playoffs if you don't know what you're
doing year after year. So I it's become more difficult
(36:45):
lately because of the playing tournament. You get a second chance,
and there's ten teams that get in kind of. But
now I'm gonna go with the Clippers. You got crickets,
that's all we got. What is still wrong at the Clippers?
How dare you? Danny g You get nothing, you lose.
(37:09):
Travis in Roseberg, Oregon says, knowing your affinity for mascots
is Dylan the Pickle your alter ego slash sight ego.
I would love to meet Dylan the Pickle. And my
wife has a friend that lives in Portland's one of
her girlfriends, so I might I might have to make him.
I was offered. I don't know if it was a
(37:30):
fake offer. I was offered a chance to go out
and throw out the first pitch of a pickle game,
So I might have to take them up on that.
If I end up in Portland, I have to look
at their schedule and I can hang out with Dylan
the Pickle. That'd be great. Uh, when you've got to
travel a little bit with the Dodgers, did you ever
have any run ins with the Philly fanatic? No, I'm
(37:54):
I'm Billy Lemarlin Mr met Uh. Those mascots, Bernie Brewer,
those are some of the ones I hung. I did
not hang out the Philly f Fanattic is the gold standard,
the greatest of all time, the goat, But I did
not get to hang out with the Philly Fanatic. One
of the coolest nights with mascots the Clippers when they
unveiled Chuck the Condor, the great mascot Chuck the Condo.
(38:18):
And so they had a mascot birthday celebrations. So they
had the mascots of these other NBA teams and random
teams that popped up. So I have photos with the
Memphis Grizzlies mascot, the Sacramento Kings Lyon, like all these
random masks. It was the funniest thing, Danny, because I'm
walking around the bowels of Staples Center and these guys
(38:41):
in these mascot costumes are sweating like pigs and these
so they're on break in the back and I'm like, hey,
can you put your help can you put your hat on?
Because I want to take a photo? Uh and and
so I got a bunch of a bunch of random
Speaking of the Denver Nuggets, how about that time they're lying,
oh yeah, that was great, was lowered down from the
(39:01):
ceiling and fainted inside the costume. Yeah, dead corpse on
the floor and the dancers still did their dance routine
around the dead corpse. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was
like out of a devil movie or something like that.
Like the women, the beautiful young women are shaking their
ass and and the mascot body is limp and it's
(39:24):
it's being bot down. The music's playing, fireworks are going off.
It's a great YouTube clip. Walky the Mountain Lion was dead.
Just google. Oh, that was hilarious. That was an all timer.
That was that's right up there. That's better than when
the remember the Mariner moose got bitten by uh or no,
(39:47):
broke his leg. We broke his leg? Was that the one?
The guy in the ground screw in Seattle got bitten
by something cat or something a feral cat. But the
the mariner moves like broken leg. It's funny because when
you when you're a mascot and you get hurt, people
don't realize. They think it's an act. They don't think
you're actually hurt. They're laughing. Yeah, they think the routine
(40:09):
it's hilarious. That's funny. Our next one is from somebody
I didn't send the name, says Ben Maller. H what
the fs up, comrade? Do you think we need to
limit the amount of money on American can have or make? No? No,
I don't want somebody limiting how much I can make.
I don't want to limit how much somebody else can make.
I don't believe in that. And it's been proven in many,
(40:30):
many countries over the years that have tried that it
does not work. It's a bad road to go down.
We talked about Nick Saban this week getting a monologue.
Nick wants everyone at Alabama to get the same name
image like this. That's a bad idea. It's a bad idea,
and it's been proven in countries that have done that,
they've had like a flat a flat rate salary, for example.
(40:54):
What it leads to is corruption because the only way
to get more money is to use corruption to get
more money. It's political eruption is what always happens d
percent of the time because the people are like, well,
I need more money. I can't make more money because
I'm capped out. Uh and and so you should make
more depending on what you do and things. I have
a big believe of that. Jennifer and Virginia writes in
(41:15):
Oh she had I don't think this was for the air.
She says, Uh, when I'm in Virginia, if we can
do a Mallard meet and greet before you fly home,
give me a tight schedule with the wife. Yeah, I'd
like to make that happen, Jennifer. I was talking about
just down from you in in the northern part of
North Carolina, which is just below the Virginia boarder there
(41:38):
doing something, but I have no where. I don't really
know that area. I don't know any restaurants to go
to anything like that. So I was asking some of
our guys in North Carolina about that. I think I
will have a car, a rental car, so I will
be able to drive around a little bit, and I
might want to get away for a couple of hours.
The problem is, I'm out in the boondocks, and so
(41:59):
if I spend three hours driving over to a big city,
I don't know that that's gonna work because then I'll
get in trouble because then it turns out to be
like an eight hour trips. Three hours there, two hours
at the event, and three hours in the way back.
I don't want to do that because that's that is
a recipe for Uh, exactly for marital strife is what
(42:22):
that is a difficulty for Valls fan Jimmy says from
Big Orange, Big Orange Country, He says, how old were
you when you quit trick or treating? And what was
your go to costume? I feel like we've been asked
this before. I was somewhere around junior high school, I
(42:43):
would say seventh grade, six or seventh grade, somewhere around there,
and I had many different costumes. I had a variety
of costumes depending on the year. My mom was very
good was sewing, and she she showed me a clown costume,
which was appropriate because I gotten rate you. One year
I was a bum honoring weed man, even though I
(43:05):
didn't know it as a police officer, when a little good.
All kinds of random stuff. What I what about you, Danny, Well,
I'll tell you the one costume that I waited and
waited on forever. My grandmother promised me when I was
in kindergarten that she was gonna sew a spiky costume
together for me Man spider Man dud. She never did.
(43:30):
She never did every year, every year with her damn
sewing machine, which was basically her version of a treadmill
that was a clothes holder. Yeah, she just threw stuff
on top of her sewing table. She never made anything, though.
She tortured me and my older brother by dragging us
into those stupid stores that sell patterns and yarn and
(43:53):
all that crap. We wanted to kill ourselves, shoot ourselves
in the head with a nail gun anytime she took
us into those stores. It's not a place for kids.
That's you know, no kid wants to go to a
store like that. Yeah, let's go look at patterns kids
for things I'm never gonna sew. Yeah, make it stop,
(44:14):
Make it stop. There, you stop. That's the one costume
I wanted as a little kid that I never got.
So instead, I remember my mom dressed me up as
a gingerbread man. A gingerbread man. Yeah, and I'm like why,
Like it's easy because it sucks. What's your problem? So
all the other kids can point at you and say,
(44:34):
look at that loser. It goes to gingerbread man. Thanks,
we shock again. All right, We'll end on that note.
Anything to promote here, Danny. You're back at Fox Sports
Radio later today on this glorious Sunday. What are you
going on today. That's right. We are gonna stare shut
up with Coveno and Rich this afternoon, and then the
(44:55):
warm up to your show is gonna be Plank and Spaniard.
I'll like your bad Let's I'll see you this afternoon
this evening, right before the Ben Mallor Live show. Yes,
the gang will be assembled for the late night radio
fun in the broadcasting do jo Smoke Weed every day.
(45:17):
He will be there, I understand, and everyone else on
the show as well, and we'll all at many athletes
who failed to accomplish what they wanted to accomplish this weekend,
the human drama of athletic competition. All right, have a
great rest of your Sunday. Thanks for supporting the podcast.
I do mean that a lot. It's awesome, it's wonderful.
It's great, and we'll keep doing the podcast. You guys listen.
(45:40):
I think we're not gonna do it, Danny if nobody listens.
But the numbers are up, right, the numbers have gone up.
People are liking the podcast, so our bosses are very happy,
so we would like to keep them like that. All right,
have a great rest your Sunday and we will catch
you on the radio, terrestrial radio, the old fashioned. I
will tonight, Danny all day and me all night. We'll
catch you, then asked the pastor Bofolation
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, dred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the Clearinghouse of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, back at
it on a Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, No need for applause.
It is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
g Radio and your dreams have come true eight days
(00:49):
a week. Then Jam is in the house. So they
called me back when I was in DJ Danny, they
call me Ben Jammen back in the day, and wrong,
you're not that guy pill Trust me, you're not that guy.
That could be true. But it's the Sunday Podcast and
that means, Danny, you know what that means. I got
my toy. I gotta I gotta play with you. Trouble trouble, trouble,
(01:11):
trouble trouble. No, it's not where we say no, we're
not saying bye bye because we we never we never
say bye bye, right, we don't believe in that. No
days off Dan, correct, correct, I'll add in my own
drop right here. Next thing I know, I just saw
this white thing flying at my face. Oh yeah, I'm
gonna add mine right here. That's political bullshit, That's what
(01:33):
I'm saying. Right there. A drop battle. It's a drop battle.
You want to you want to drop battle? Okay? Oh yeah,
right there? Yeah, what is still wrong with the Clippers?
Oh you better watch out. You're better not shout. That's right,
(01:54):
you evil, evil man. Some people do dance battles, We
do drop battles. Yeah. Yeah, And really, when you think
about it's not that guy. I'll trust me, You're not
that guy exactly. And with the first pick in the
NFL draft, the Jacksonville Jag select Danny g Radio. I
(02:18):
thought you were gonna say, Marcus Mariotto. Mariotto enjoyable there
and we also love we love the hits. We love
the classics when it comes to the show, including the
Star WARSNI does anyone enjoy this as much as I do?
(02:42):
I don't know. I just sing hitting random buttons here.
It's it's a lot of fun. Wow, I'm having a
good time here. I don't know if you're listening is
having a good time, but I'm enjoying. All right, let's
get to the let's get to the star of the show,
the main event, Danny. What do you say here? You
ready to do this? Let's do it all? Here we go.
This is right, strike up the band. Well, thanks to
(03:11):
our buddy ohio Al for making that male song long
long ago, and here we are still playing it on
the radio today because it's perfect. It's the perfect way
to start the mail bag. And these are actual questions
sending by actual listeners of the show. There were no
made up questions here, no clowns at all. Got involves.
(03:33):
So these are actual emails from actual members of the
Malar Mush or postings on the Facebook page. And we'd
love to have you join the mail bag family. That
would be really cool. And the way you do it,
you can send a message in right now. You don't
have to wait. You can email me right now, Real
fifth hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com. That's spell it out. R E A
(03:56):
L F I F T h our h O you
are at gmail dot com. Or you can wait till Tuesday.
I post the message on Facebook and then we welcome
in the messages you can post right. David mill Valley
kicks us off here. He says, Ben, as your wife
(04:17):
ever listened to the radio show or the Fifth Hour podcast?
If she has, what does she think and if she
has it, would she be pleased or just made if
she did the same question for Danny Gara Deli and
his Tenderroni. So I'll go first out. We've talked about
this dandy in the past when you were giving advice
(04:38):
on the radio. Anybody that's worked in the radio business
knows when you first start dating a young woman. I
assume what works the same way the other way, but
I only know the women part. So when you date
a young woman and all that, they're very excited when
you they find out you're work in radio, and they
listen to everything you have to say, and they want
to hear every show. And then after a while they
(05:01):
never listen to anything that you do. They want nothing
to do with that. Uh. And as far as my wife,
she's the same way, although occasionally she does tell me
that she listens to this podcast, actually this Saturday podcast.
She likes the Saturday podcast because she says, it's the
only time I talk about my life because, as you know, Danny, uh,
(05:26):
I get a little burned out talking during the week,
and I we record these podcasts near the end of
the week, so by the time the weekend comes on,
I don't want to talk to anything. I just want
to be like a magician and vanish and you, Dany,
I'm gonna get out of here and not talk and
take a valve silence and all that. But she does
listen to Saturday podcast a little bit because I'll tell
(05:46):
stories about her and the and the family and stuff
that's going on in the house. But the radio show,
he's got a big sports man. When I first met her,
she told me she didn't like talk radio, and the
other thing she said she hated because her dad used
to listen to talk radio. She's a little girl growing up.
She didn't like. And then she told me she didn't
like TMZ. At the time, I was in the running
(06:07):
to run TMZ Sports and she told me she hated
t MZ. So was it wonderful wonderful thing? Anyway? Anyway, Danny,
what about your experience. I think you summed it up
really well there, because I've had the same experience with
my Tenderroni right now, except she does download the Fifth
Hour podcasts automatically to her phone and on her Monday
(06:30):
commute she does listen. Now, I don't know how thorough.
I don't know if she listens to the whole show.
But for whatever reason, she has radar been because whenever
you and I tell old stories about stuff we did
in our twenties, maybe with other girls and things like that,
for some reason she hears those stories and then I
(06:52):
get comments back afterwards, and you told her, of course,
I'm sure you're told your tenderon E that it is
part of the creative process to occasionally mix intertwine nonfiction
and fiction, and you don't know which part is fiction
or nonfiction. It's a mosaic. You're painting a word picture
(07:15):
on the radio, in the in the air and all
that stuff. And then she probably comes back and says, hey, Danny,
shut the funk up. Okay, shut the fuck up. He's like, dud,
you're never taking me there. I'm not ever going to
that place with you. Yeah, well it is. You have
certain places with someone you're dating, and then you can't.
(07:35):
You can't. It's like Ghostbusters you don't cross the stream
away from those places anyways. And I always tell her,
I'm like, you know what, from the very first kiss
we had, it magically erased all the other women I
ever kissed or had anything to do with. So you
don't have to worry about that, because once we kissed,
it erased everything. My memory erased. Yeah. It was like
(08:00):
the neuralizer from Men in Black with agent. It was
an agent, k right. You know, once you neuralize there,
you freeze your eyes, you lose focus, and then all
of a sudden you were raised all the members. That
Will Smith guy in that movie, he'll slap you. That's
sorry that if they made Men in Black now, he
would just come over. Will would just slap you across
the face and you lose all your memory just like that.
(08:24):
Man would all be awesome, it'll be so cool. Unfortunately there,
I don't think they're gonna be making that movie now.
Will Smith has been banned from the Academy words but
he can still win? Is he still eligible to win?
How is that a bad thing? He doesn't have to
get dressed up in a in a penguin suit and
go out there. He pulled himself out though, remember, so
(08:47):
maybe he can't be nominated then because of how he
pulled himself out of the Academy. Remember, now, he's been
pretty good at generating revenue for the movie studios. Does
this help him or hurt him? Or will we hear
from him again? I'm not a big movie guy, but
(09:08):
you know, I know in the media business, any publicity
is good publicity and all that. In America, we love
to see our stars crash and burn and then a
little bit later down the road, we like a good
comeback story. All on Tiger Woods. Is that still true though?
I thought we're still I don't know about that. Is
(09:29):
that stuff you think it's just it's just burn and
stay burned? Yeah, I think it's now scorched earth. It's
completely burn it, burn it up. Man, that's what you
gotta do. I think, I don't. I hope I'm I'm
wrong on that. But Will Will would definitely have a
future if they want to make a well he was
what what was the boxing movie? He was in a
(09:50):
boxing movie? What Muhammad? Yeah, the Muhammad Ali movie. So
they could you can make like they made a Mike
Tyson movie. Is that Is that a thing yet? With
I think so so they could have him do that,
that's an option. Yeah. So yeah, there you go. So
we'll keep any that all right. Now, next up on
the mail bag, these are actual questions from actual listeners
(10:16):
of the Fifth Hour podcast, and we answer these questions
right here. It's amazing. All right, come back, pay attention.
It's time from I'll call. That's right. Next up is
Tammy and Montana, and Tammy says, hey, Ben and Danny
g clarification on my Tommy's Chili dog experience. Yeah, we
(10:39):
were wondering, like, there's no Tommy's in Montana, So what
the hell was that all about? Were we being horn swaggled,
let astray by our friend Tammy in Montana? Well, she
is here to explain that her friend purchased frozen hot
dogs and frozen chili from tom his website and had
(11:01):
them shipped to Montana. That was one of your guesses.
Al right, So I got that right, and I I
am surprised. I wonder that tastes like that because there's
a one of my favorite delis is in Manhattan and
they send the pastrami around the country and I'm like,
I don't know, this is gonna taste that good if
I get it and I have to put it together
(11:23):
and all that I don't I am I gonna say
to that? I don't know? Uh, Tammy uh, says Ben.
I was wondering what happened to hideous Hellen's childhood? Here
we go again, Danny, here we go. You got warring
factions Montana versus the state of Florida. What is going
(11:44):
on with this? People have never met each other, but
they are very upset with each other. And it's a yeah.
Uh so. The email goes, I was one ofing what
happened to hideous Helen's childhood? That she is so delusional
(12:04):
power couple, powerfully narcissistic. Yes, there is only one power couple.
That's the humble Leslie and Jack. How delusional Helen is
to think her favorite restaurant, Golden Corral is a fine
dining steakhouse. Shots fired. Helen is a narcissistic liar who
(12:26):
needs to self enhanced to feel better about her pathetic,
white trash life. Have a great weekend, you guys deserve it.
Signed Dammy in Montana man. All right, well, thank you,
thank you for that, Tammy man. All right. The next
(12:48):
up is the rebuttal from Helen and Stu in Palmetto Bay.
And this email starts ben in Danny hold on, I say, see,
I don't want Helen to send me a nasty message, Danny,
because I didn't give her the proper the proper salute.
So let me let me take care of that. Right now,
here we go. I got mail, yea, I got mail, yea.
(13:12):
All right, here we go. It says a few comments
and the question about your glue couple, cam Newton laid
a few eggs this week, preferring his women know how
to cook and know when to keep quiet. Why was
that such a big deal? Like? Who cares if Cam
Newton wants women to certain I like what, I don't
understand that sexist. I saw a lot of comments saying, hey,
(13:37):
this dude has like seven kids out of wedlock, maybe
he should get married if he wants traditional he likes
to pretend, you know, the marriage, probably likes the relationship process.
He enjoys the stooping part of that. He's a big
fan of that. And apparently, uh, there's a lot of
empty nets there for him. He's put the the biscuit
(14:00):
in the basket multiple times there anyway, Helen says Mr Newton,
you sexist, free agent clown ship as a sports savvy
woman who knows how to bake and cook and not
keep quiet like now, if it's the fourth quarter of
the Super Bowl and you're down one score and you
(14:21):
fumble and the balls bouncing around at your feet like
my home cooked roast, You're not supposed to react like
a Beverly Hills housewife who just saw a mouse run
into the kitchen, fall on the damn ball. No risk it,
no super Bowl biscuit. That's a good line, shot line.
(14:41):
That is the defining moment of Cam Newton as an
NFL player. That's it for me on the show. Though
there were so many funny things that Cam Newton did
on our radio show, but during the early years there
he had maybe had the Rosie the riveter ran there.
(15:02):
There was a game he played also in Nashville, and
some woman wrote a letter to the newspaper. They're complaining
about Cam Newton's chest puffs, pelvic thrust and arrogant struts.
I sold that line. I used that line about a
lot of people over the years. And my favorite Cam
Newton story of all time. You remember this dandy from
working on the show was when Carolina was struggling in
(15:23):
twelve and with a seemingly straightfits. Can't believe it's been
ten years since has happened. But cam Newton decided that
the key to the Carolina Panthers turning things around at
that time was a suggestion box in the locker room
(15:43):
that you could blindly leave suggestions on how to prove
improve the team. That was That was a ten. That
was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen,
because I have my own experiences. We've talked about this
in the past. If you knew the show with the
suggestion box. I worked at a radio station. Program director
came in said, hey, I don't care. You know, you
(16:05):
guys can write whatever you want. I'm not gonna judge you.
I'm not gonna I don't want to know. I just
want to know what you're upset about with the radio station.
So of course some of the producers who were making
ship money and did not like the programming on the
radio station wrote letters in and then it was it
was on, and it was exaggerated, how come I'm not
(16:30):
on the schedule this week? It was so still it's
still going. And finally died. But no, the point is
the guy said, do whatever you want, we don't care.
And then he was a police interrogation. He brought everyone
in one by one at the radio station until he
(16:52):
found out who sent the letter in and the guy
got let go, and that he he ended up selling
real estate. I think a lot of money in real estate.
Uh was the guy that was one of the producers. So,
speaking of Star Wars, it's that famous line. Yeah, oh, totally,
totally it was. It's hilarious. Helen's email continues. Boys, speaking
(17:17):
of NFL quarterbacks, Eddie do just enough work to get paid.
Garcia Steelers quarterback Dwayne Haskins died this Wow, you would
think in a perfect world a garbage time quarterback would
be hit and killed by wait for it, a garbage wall. Helen,
come on, it's not right here, taste. That's how dare you? Anyways,
(17:40):
she says from last week's mail bag, if there is
one woman who knows hot dogs, it's Tammy and Montana.
So Helen getting a shot in at Tammy. She says,
rest in peace, Gilbert Godfried a funny jew that is true. Ben,
In closing a quick three part follow up question for
Danny G. Danny Helen writes, per you're entertaining Donald Trump.
(18:04):
Story Number one, did you get the raise? Number two?
Since Trump called the show on his personal cell phone,
did you capture his phone number on caller I D
and number three? If so, have you ever drunk dialed
the number? Let's see peace out? Helen and Stu palmetto
Bay floors. Well, no, yes and no, I haven't drunk out. Wait, wait,
(18:28):
you have Donald Trump's personal cell phone number. I have
the number. I have the number had a former president's
phone number. I don't know if it's working or not
right now. I could try it. I guess we could
get your Trump on the podcast. Wait a minute, here,
you could sit down interview with you, he Mr former President,
(18:50):
it's Danny G. You told me I'd get a raised.
I didn't get a raised, but I want to have
you on think yes, no, our boss. I remember after
the first interview he told me, man, that was awesome.
I got emails congratulating me in Clay and Uh from
both bosses. I thought, well, this, I guess, is the
(19:11):
raise right here? Wrong? And then after the second interview,
where Trump admitted that he said I should get a raise,
I thought, well, this will seal the deal. I'm definitely
gonna get a raise, and it didn't happen. Well, it's
in the mail. It's in the mail. It might have
been lost in the mail, but it's in the mood.
That's cool. I did not realize you had Donald Trump's
phone number. That's that's next level. Maybe the phone he
(19:35):
was using belong to the White House. I'm not sure,
but it like it seemed like his personal phone, the
way he was, the way he was just kicking it
on the phone. Yeah. I went through my contact list
the other day randomly, and I was like, wow, there's
a lot of people in here that aren't alive anymore.
That was that was the eye opener here. That's always there.
(19:58):
I never I never take anyone's number out of my
phone when they die. Yeah, I feel like that's my tribute.
I saw the Great Frank's number in my phone. Yes, yeah,
the big cod piece Frank. You know, there's still his
memorial um like the program or whatever, the program, the remembrance,
(20:20):
we still have that hanging in the studio. And so
every right around the Super Bowl every year we talked
about Frank. Oh yeah, I love Frank. And I mentioned
Frank this week on the air. We were talking about
John Sterling totally botched a home run call and Frank.
I love Frank because he was it was so quick
catlike reflexes. Every weekend when Frank was my guy, we
(20:42):
would place the Yankee roll call. We called it yes
that Yeah, it was great, and we'd go through all
here's the Yankee lineup, and we played John Sterling home
round calls and Frank had all of them at that
at his fingertips. I mean, it was good to go
on that. It was. It was pretty cool. Back in
a day. I'm trying to think dead people. I have
(21:02):
Tommy the Swords number. He's Larry King. He's in here,
the late Larry King. Let's see here, page Dan, page Dan.
I have some I guess he's still alive, this guy,
but he's dead to me. The guy we're supposed to
have last week, he didn't. He didn't get back to us.
(21:23):
See who else is checked out? Oh, Jimmy Ray from
Tampa Bay, the caller for the show. I have his number.
I don't know how I got Yeah, I got his
number when he got sick. I did some some calls
to try to cheer him up, and then he passed away.
Let's see, I got Holler and James in there. I
do not have Halloween James phone. I do not women
white women. You d add that to my list. Darrell
(21:47):
Hamilton's I have his. Remember Daryl baseball player Daryl. I
did TV with him briefly. He was murdered by a woman. Murder, murder,
suicide in Houston. Great guy, starting to get dark. Yeah,
I probably should stop. Probably, there's a few others in
here that are not going down murder memory lane. I
(22:10):
feel like Cowboy in Windsor. I'm doing all right. Here's
the death report. This guy died. That guy died. My
dentist died. I have Johannes John's number. Not the terrorist,
the guy that used to call the radio show and
he quit. He retired from the show Rain, which was
very bizarre. I still don't understand quite how that happened,
but it did. And uh whatever, what even? Good luck?
(22:31):
All right? Moving Pierre from Springfield, Massachusetts, rights and he
says this pandemic has spawned the birth of online ordering.
An in store pickup or curbside pickup. An East Coast
competitor of Costco is called b J's Wholesale Club. While
(22:51):
b J's offers online order and same day pick up,
Costco here does not. While I'm sure you would not
partake and rubside pickup because you wouldn't be able to
grab your samples. Does Costco on the West Coast offer
online ordering and in store pick up or do you
utilize the service at other store? So I've never used that, Like, well,
(23:17):
I do know the Costco near the Mallard mansion. They
have a bunch of lockers in the front where they
leave orders, so they do have in store pick up,
And I'm not sure about the online I don't know
how all that other stuff works. I've I've really not
partected that if you bought anything in that area, Danny,
are you familiar with that? No. Costco for us is
(23:38):
one of those stores where half the experience is going
in and walking all those big aisles. Yeah, for sure,
and you you want to see stuff you haven't seen.
They usually have products that aren't there that long. They
have temporary things that come in and so and the
samples which are kind of back, but it's not the same.
(23:58):
They're back like on a small time basis. Yeah, I
mean before garry hitting mass and and it's really sad man,
because as you know, you could, you know, kind of
make at least an appetizer run at Costco. Back in
the day, Back in the old days, I would go
there and that was before I was fasting all the time.
(24:19):
And I would go there and I'd make the rounds.
I'd be fighting my My wife would be so upset
with me because I'd be fighting like old Asian women,
old dudes and uh, fighting these grandmothers and grandpas to
try to get samples at Costco. And she's like, what
are you doing? Oh my god, who the hell can stop?
That's just food, you know, I you look like you've
(24:40):
never eaten before that whole Uh. But I love the
people who pretend like they're going to buy the product. Yeah,
well there's that. There's that move, like you start engaging
the sample person like, well, tell me more about the product,
and then they have all the talking points so then
they're like, okay, so this is the the way you know,
(25:00):
the products started to hear blah blah blah and know
that whole thing, and you're like, well, what what the
what you come on? And you really just want the food.
But The cool thing is when somebody does engage that
distracts the sample person, so then you can come in
for the kill shot and get more of the food. Yeah,
so you're not even paying attention to the fact that
(25:23):
you're there for thirds. It's like magic. The key to
magic is distraction. You must distract the eye. And once
you distract the eye, you're good to go on that
and so that's that's the key. Anyway, thank you Pierre
for that. I am looking forward when I go on
my Midwest East Coast sodiurn. I do plan I don't
(25:44):
think my wife knows this yet, but I do plan
on going to costcos in every city I visit, because
I have heard and our guys in Canada. I think
it was in Vancouver. A listener in Vancouver pointed out
that they have chicken fingers in the the food area
at Costco. So I was like, Oh, I gotta see
what they have, Like maybe in Wisconsin they have cheese
(26:04):
curds or something like that, or poutine or something like
So I'm looking forward to seeing what they are. I'll
be there. Wow. All right. Next up, we have Barry
from Nashville, says yo Yo Mob Benny is there any
line where Dave Roberts would allow a picture who had
a perfect game to continue pitching, Like if he was
(26:27):
in the eighth and had a twenty pitches, does he
still pull him? And he says sorry if my tornado
story was too dark. No, your tornado story was not
not too dark. But you know we have no tornado experience.
We're not you're the tornado veteran. We're not the tornado
veterans here at all. Your opinion of Dave Robert's performance,
(26:48):
Danny g Well, I like that spott he was in there, Ben,
I like that spot he was in. Um he did
this to rich Hill, and I remember we hated on
him on the air for doing It's a rich back
then because you only have maybe one two tops opportunities
(27:10):
like this in your entire career. If you're Clayton Kershaw.
And what There's been thousands upon hundreds of thousands of
baseball games over the years, and there's only been twenty
three perfect games, and there's been like four hundred no hitters.
There's a lot of no hitters, but perfect game twenty
three of those and there should be twenty four. But Gallarago,
(27:31):
the Tigers got hosed by Jim Joyce, the umpire there
in Detroit. But the thing that was I mentioned this
on the show the other night. I did a rant
about it, is that there are so many young fans,
like you're younger than us, Danny, that this is all
they know. They they expect their players to be lazy.
They expect their players to be soft. That's what they know.
And they genuinely believe this is the way. And you
(27:55):
hear the old timers and they just roll their eyes
at this, and they're like Reggie Jackson, Mr. October a
nemesis of the Dodgers when he was at the Yankees
in those years, And Reggie Jackson is goofing on the
Dodgers and what are you doing? This is where I
would love Nolan Ryan to get in a room with
Dave Robertson just slap him across the face. Yeah, can
(28:17):
we get We should get Nolan Ryan on the show.
We should track down Nolan Ryan and see if he
would come on and explain pitching and that that or
or if you know, we should Mike Marshall is another guy,
the pitching Mike Marshall. If he's still around, I think
he's still around. He's getting up there in age. I
believe he's still around, and he's talked about this in
(28:38):
the past and stuff, so and some of those old times,
and we'll just doing a point by point on there
would make like a ven diagra, an audio ven diagram
of why it is for Gazzy what is going on
right now? And the people running baseball, our Mama Luke's
and all of sports. This disease has infiltrated all of
sports laziness. It's the mindset had always been go above
(29:04):
and beyond the call of duty, that it was a
badge of honor. Now it is a badge of honor
to be like the cliche of a d m V employee,
a government worker doing the bare minimum and nothing extra.
And that's it saying we have worked until we literally
have laryngitis. Can you imagine if you were on a
(29:26):
word count with your voice. Yeah, and you know, Ben,
you hit words on yesterday. Sho, I'm gonna have to
sit you. Brian Knows coming in tomorrow. Yeah, Ben, you've
done three podcast You've done three monologues and three podcasts.
That's enough. We want to save you for the football season.
(29:48):
So we're gonna gonna rest up a little bit. We
don't once you get laryngitis. It's it's free And Kershaw
what I know. Kershaw was towing the company line to
a point, Well what do you do? Owing in his
line there that it would have been selfish. One of
the most outrageous quotes I've ever heard from a professional athlete.
(30:09):
A Hall of Fame picture Clayton Kershaw saying it would
have been selfish to throw a perfect game. I'm Kershaw.
I would have shook Roberts off. I would have told
him to get off my mound. Dude. By yeah, I
really like myself in this spot. Take that for data.
Put that in your pipe. And the thing about it, too,
(30:29):
is Kershaw saying it's selfish. That's another thing. In the
old days, it was. It was something. It was a
feather in the cap for starting pitchers to go all
the way because you saved the bullpen. And one of
the biggest problems with baseball today, and something that the
geniuses that are running Major League Baseball have not figured out,
is these teams burned through their bullpen. They usually relief
(30:52):
pictures too much. There's a certain amount once the league
season and they become less effective, and then at the
trade deadline there's a mad dad has to get relief
pitchers because you've burned through your bullpen and now you've
got to bring relief pitchers in from somebody else, somebody
else's team, and that it's it's trickled down because the
starters don't go long in the game, they're not expected
(31:12):
to go along in the game. They believe it's now
just like the NBA players believe it's their birthright for
load management starting pitchers. How how dare you? How dare
you want me to to throw over eighty pitches? I mean,
oh my god, who the hell? Stop? Stop moving on?
(31:33):
Who else do we have? Here? A Radioactive Ryan in
Salt Lake City, Utah, this podcast blowing up in He says, Hey,
fifth hour, Fellas, I was wondering what your favorite underdog
sports event is. I was too young to remember the
Miracle on Ice, so I am going with the Giants
spoiling the Patriots undefeated season. Please tell us your selection,
(31:57):
f L Tube and screw Correa. So the one that
pop into my head here Radioactive Bryan, involves the Patriots,
but it was before the Patriots became good in the
early days of Fox Sports Radio. To me, the greatest
upset I had seen had been the Patriots with Tom
Brady and nobody a backup, beating the greatest show on turf,
(32:20):
the Mighty St. Louis Rams and Kurt Warner and all
those Bazukas that the Rams had. The Rams were the
baddest ass team in the NFL. And the fact that
the Patriots, who had a water gun, knocked out a
team that had seventeen Buzukas is stunning. So I have
(32:41):
that Patriots, who were not at that point of dynasty
by any means, beating the Rams, the greatest show on turf.
What about you, Dan, anything pop into your head there? Yeah.
The first thing that pops in my mind is when
I was a kid watching the Tumbo on the floor.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Sonics? Was it the Sonics? They
(33:04):
it was a Nuggets and the Sonics with a number
one seed. I think, okay, I'll have to look that up.
But Dad, that was a big underdog moment. And there's
that great shot of him crying on the floor lifting
the basketball up with both arms. Yeah, that that is
that is great. I think it was Nuggets against George Carl,
Shawn Kemp, Gary Payton in the SuperSonics. That's the memory
(33:27):
I have in my head. And then the more recently
those are old, and more recently would be the University
of Maryland Baltimore beating Virginia first and only sixteen seed
to bet the number one seed a Virginia was not
like an all time great number one seed, but still
you talk about a surprise motherfucker. That was one right there,
(33:50):
that that was it. Absolutely Yeah. The Nuggets made NBA
history with a shocking upset over the SuperSonics in the
first round of the Western Conference playoffs thirty years The
victory marked the first time a number eight seed at
one a series against the number one seed in the
NBA playoffs. And George Carl is going to the Hall
(34:12):
of Fame now the coach of that Sonics team. Yeah,
Ozzy Momentum says a couple of questions, guys or lads
as they say in Australia, who is your favorite movie
assassin Spy John Wick, James Bond, Jason Bourne or Ethan Hunt.
So I'm a traditional I'm gonna go with James Bond,
(34:35):
who's been around, although the Bond franchise has taken a
couple of turns here recently that I don't know that's right.
I don't agree with it, but but overall, for a
lifetime achievement, James bond uh And then I would have
Jason Bourne on there. What what about you, Danny g Yeah,
I think I would go with Matt Damon in this
spot the board identity. I kind of always liked that
(34:56):
storyline where he didn't exactly remember or no why he
was doing what he was doing, or how he got
trained to be such a badass killer. That was always
a nice element to that movie. Yeah. He also says
who would win a fight? Ozzy Momentum of the Tasmanian
Devil and Marvin the Marsha all right, so who would
(35:17):
have a competitive advantage here? So that I think the
Tasmanian Devil. In the name of the character it has devil,
So I am going to go with the Tasmanian Devil
over the iconic Marvin the Marshall. The speed and the
verocity of the Tasmanian Devil would take out Marvin the Marshall.
(35:39):
I was more concerned about him giving me a double fish.
Mike from Fullerton says, what do you think is more impressive,
the more impressive street the Clippers eleven straight winning seasons
or the King's sixteen straight the sacrament Of Kings sixteen
straight losing seasons. Well, this is easy, you understand. I
was a Clipper guy when they would never make them.
But they had the longest street. I think they ever
(36:00):
made the playoffs in San Diego. They left Buffalo, had
made the playoffs in Buffalo. Uh, And they went to Santigo,
never made the playoffs, went to l A, never made
the playoffs. They were the ones that had the record
before the King. So the fact that the Clipper franchise
came from Matt and now they are a playoff team
just about every year, wrong, wrong again, it blows me away.
(36:24):
The Clippers are every year they have a shot, they
have a shot, they have a spin of the roulette wheel.
And I know firsthand that if you suck at your job,
the Sacramento Kings you it's it's actually not that hard
to miss the playoffs if you don't know what you're
doing year after year. So I it's become more difficult
(36:45):
lately because of the playing tournament. You get a second chance,
and there's ten teams that get in kind of. But
now I'm gonna go with the Clippers. You got crickets,
that's all we got. What is still wrong at the Clippers?
How dare you? Danny g You get nothing, you lose.
(37:09):
Travis in Roseberg, Oregon says, knowing your affinity for mascots
is Dylan the Pickle your alter ego slash sight ego.
I would love to meet Dylan the Pickle. And my
wife has a friend that lives in Portland's one of
her girlfriends, so I might I might have to make him.
I was offered. I don't know if it was a
(37:30):
fake offer. I was offered a chance to go out
and throw out the first pitch of a pickle game,
So I might have to take them up on that.
If I end up in Portland, I have to look
at their schedule and I can hang out with Dylan
the Pickle. That'd be great. Uh, when you've got to
travel a little bit with the Dodgers, did you ever
have any run ins with the Philly fanatic? No, I'm
(37:54):
I'm Billy Lemarlin Mr met Uh. Those mascots, Bernie Brewer,
those are some of the ones I hung. I did
not hang out the Philly f Fanattic is the gold standard,
the greatest of all time, the goat, But I did
not get to hang out with the Philly Fanatic. One
of the coolest nights with mascots the Clippers when they
unveiled Chuck the Condor, the great mascot Chuck the Condo.
(38:18):
And so they had a mascot birthday celebrations. So they
had the mascots of these other NBA teams and random
teams that popped up. So I have photos with the
Memphis Grizzlies mascot, the Sacramento Kings Lyon, like all these
random masks. It was the funniest thing, Danny, because I'm
walking around the bowels of Staples Center and these guys
(38:41):
in these mascot costumes are sweating like pigs and these
so they're on break in the back and I'm like, hey,
can you put your help can you put your hat on?
Because I want to take a photo? Uh and and
so I got a bunch of a bunch of random
Speaking of the Denver Nuggets, how about that time they're lying,
oh yeah, that was great, was lowered down from the
(39:01):
ceiling and fainted inside the costume. Yeah, dead corpse on
the floor and the dancers still did their dance routine
around the dead corpse. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was
like out of a devil movie or something like that.
Like the women, the beautiful young women are shaking their
ass and and the mascot body is limp and it's
(39:24):
it's being bot down. The music's playing, fireworks are going off.
It's a great YouTube clip. Walky the Mountain Lion was dead.
Just google. Oh, that was hilarious. That was an all timer.
That was that's right up there. That's better than when
the remember the Mariner moose got bitten by uh or no,
(39:47):
broke his leg. We broke his leg? Was that the one?
The guy in the ground screw in Seattle got bitten
by something cat or something a feral cat. But the
the mariner moves like broken leg. It's funny because when
you when you're a mascot and you get hurt, people
don't realize. They think it's an act. They don't think
you're actually hurt. They're laughing. Yeah, they think the routine
(40:09):
it's hilarious. That's funny. Our next one is from somebody
I didn't send the name, says Ben Maller. H what
the fs up, comrade? Do you think we need to
limit the amount of money on American can have or make? No? No,
I don't want somebody limiting how much I can make.
I don't want to limit how much somebody else can make.
I don't believe in that. And it's been proven in many,
(40:30):
many countries over the years that have tried that it
does not work. It's a bad road to go down.
We talked about Nick Saban this week getting a monologue.
Nick wants everyone at Alabama to get the same name
image like this. That's a bad idea. It's a bad idea,
and it's been proven in countries that have done that,
they've had like a flat a flat rate salary, for example.
(40:54):
What it leads to is corruption because the only way
to get more money is to use corruption to get
more money. It's political eruption is what always happens d
percent of the time because the people are like, well,
I need more money. I can't make more money because
I'm capped out. Uh and and so you should make
more depending on what you do and things. I have
a big believe of that. Jennifer and Virginia writes in
(41:15):
Oh she had I don't think this was for the air.
She says, Uh, when I'm in Virginia, if we can
do a Mallard meet and greet before you fly home,
give me a tight schedule with the wife. Yeah, I'd
like to make that happen, Jennifer. I was talking about
just down from you in in the northern part of
North Carolina, which is just below the Virginia boarder there
(41:38):
doing something, but I have no where. I don't really
know that area. I don't know any restaurants to go
to anything like that. So I was asking some of
our guys in North Carolina about that. I think I
will have a car, a rental car, so I will
be able to drive around a little bit, and I
might want to get away for a couple of hours.
The problem is, I'm out in the boondocks, and so
(41:59):
if I spend three hours driving over to a big city,
I don't know that that's gonna work because then I'll
get in trouble because then it turns out to be
like an eight hour trips. Three hours there, two hours
at the event, and three hours in the way back.
I don't want to do that because that's that is
a recipe for Uh, exactly for marital strife is what
(42:22):
that is a difficulty for Valls fan Jimmy says from
Big Orange, Big Orange Country, He says, how old were
you when you quit trick or treating? And what was
your go to costume? I feel like we've been asked
this before. I was somewhere around junior high school, I
(42:43):
would say seventh grade, six or seventh grade, somewhere around there,
and I had many different costumes. I had a variety
of costumes depending on the year. My mom was very
good was sewing, and she she showed me a clown costume,
which was appropriate because I gotten rate you. One year
I was a bum honoring weed man, even though I
(43:05):
didn't know it as a police officer, when a little good.
All kinds of random stuff. What I what about you, Danny, Well,
I'll tell you the one costume that I waited and
waited on forever. My grandmother promised me when I was
in kindergarten that she was gonna sew a spiky costume
together for me Man spider Man dud. She never did.
(43:30):
She never did every year, every year with her damn
sewing machine, which was basically her version of a treadmill
that was a clothes holder. Yeah, she just threw stuff
on top of her sewing table. She never made anything, though.
She tortured me and my older brother by dragging us
into those stupid stores that sell patterns and yarn and
(43:53):
all that crap. We wanted to kill ourselves, shoot ourselves
in the head with a nail gun anytime she took
us into those stores. It's not a place for kids.
That's you know, no kid wants to go to a
store like that. Yeah, let's go look at patterns kids
for things I'm never gonna sew. Yeah, make it stop,
(44:14):
Make it stop. There, you stop. That's the one costume
I wanted as a little kid that I never got.
So instead, I remember my mom dressed me up as
a gingerbread man. A gingerbread man. Yeah, and I'm like why,
Like it's easy because it sucks. What's your problem? So
all the other kids can point at you and say,
(44:34):
look at that loser. It goes to gingerbread man. Thanks,
we shock again. All right, We'll end on that note.
Anything to promote here, Danny. You're back at Fox Sports
Radio later today on this glorious Sunday. What are you
going on today. That's right. We are gonna stare shut
up with Coveno and Rich this afternoon, and then the
(44:55):
warm up to your show is gonna be Plank and Spaniard.
I'll like your bad Let's I'll see you this afternoon
this evening, right before the Ben Mallor Live show. Yes,
the gang will be assembled for the late night radio
fun in the broadcasting do jo Smoke Weed every day.
(45:17):
He will be there, I understand, and everyone else on
the show as well, and we'll all at many athletes
who failed to accomplish what they wanted to accomplish this weekend,
the human drama of athletic competition. All right, have a
great rest of your Sunday. Thanks for supporting the podcast.
I do mean that a lot. It's awesome, it's wonderful.
It's great, and we'll keep doing the podcast. You guys listen.
(45:40):
I think we're not gonna do it, Danny if nobody listens.
But the numbers are up, right, the numbers have gone up.
People are liking the podcast, so our bosses are very happy,
so we would like to keep them like that. All right,
have a great rest your Sunday and we will catch
you on the radio, terrestrial radio, the old fashioned. I
will tonight, Danny all day and me all night. We'll
catch you, then asked the pastor Bofolation
Host
Ben Maller
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