STRANGLING MY THERAPIST

In tonight's episode of "Crystal's Nightcap", we hit MIAMI for our iHeart Radio Fiesta Latina, my boyfriend Zaddy comes along, why I’m hiding his face online, I strangle my therapist, my Halloween costume goes viral, and MORE!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello to your beautiful neck nibbler.It's Crystal Little Sas back with another episode
of Crystal's Nightcap. Tonight, wehit Miami for iHeartRadio Fiesta Latina. My
boyfriend Zati comes along. Why amI hiding his face online? I strangle
my therapist and we go viral froma Halloween costume. Today, Get Usa.
My name is Crystal Little Sas.I'm a twenty something Latina who just

(00:23):
moved from California to the Big appHappy. Sorry that was my cat frappuccino.
They're still getting used to the citylife. Anyways, Where was I
am? Oh? Yeah, Itake over afternoon radio every day on the
world famous Z one hundred. Butwhen night falls, I'm looking for all
the cloud I can get and casuallysearching these streets for my prince Charming.

(00:44):
Come on this sexy single journey wherewe'll go on a date with a new
guy from the Apps every week,host red carpets and interviews, and weasel
our way into the secret society ofNew York's top social life. Oh yeah,
and someone's always watching. That's myoverprotective mom. This is Crystal's Nightcap.
Oh I thought this whole episode justdeleted and I was going to run

(01:07):
my head through a window. Iwas so over it. You you're gonna
hear why. I'm just at mywits end in just just a minute.
Okay, you're you're gonna know allthe tea, all the sizzles. Okay,
there's a lot going on. Butthank you for being here. Another

(01:29):
episode of Crystal's Nightcap. If youhave not subscribed, please subscribe. Share
the podcast with the friends if you'rereally liking it. I'm live in New
York City Monday through Friday two tosix pm on Z one hundred, New
York's number one hit music station.I'm on tons of stations across the country.
To see which ones that. Makesure you follow me on socials,
on everything. I'm at La CrystalRosas l A c R y s t
A l R os As Right now, I'm on like six stations across the

(01:53):
country. You're gonna be hearing meon a lot more pretty soon, which
is super, super exciting. Icannot wait to tell you the tea on
that as well. It's already done. The papers have been signed, so
ain't nothing to stop that. Parade. Number three. Make sure that you
check out my online shop at crystalalSays dot com. Click on that shop

(02:15):
tap. Now we're just gonna getinto what. Okay, there's a lot
to get into. It's a thickepisode tonight and you're gonna love it.
Sit back, relax, It's Crystal'snightcap. Happy Happy, Happy flip at

(02:40):
Halloween. I know it's like aghost. I'm like a ghost that's back.
Excuses are like booty cheeks. Weall hopefully have two of them.
And yeah, it's been two weeks. I haven't talked to you in a
second. I got back from Wheredid I go? I don't know where

(03:02):
I was back from. And thenI popped out a pod. And then
that next week I got back andI got an ear infection, like a
crazy, crazy, crazy ear infection, Like my cheek and ear felt like
it was huge. So I didn'trecord that week. And then last weekend

(03:23):
I was in Miami for iHeartRadio MusicFestival and Zude was in town and we
had a very interesting situation. SoI was just Douty's in about I was
Downsy's. I was Downsy's and sadZ's, so I was like, I
need a breath here, I needa break, and we are back and

(03:44):
rolling today. Okay, better bettertwo weeks late than never, I'll say
that. But no, that firstweek that I missed literally the worst thing
ever. Like, I honestly dofeel like with certain things. I will
talking to my Thileen about this.I do feel like I'm kind of cursed
with some things because things that shouldjust work with everyone and for everyone just

(04:06):
sometimes don't work for me. AndI have concrete examples. Okay, when
I was in Disneyland with Zaddy andwe're trying to get this like shuttle app
so that we can shuttle to Disneylandfrom the hotel. I was in line
and I was trying to buy ticketsfor the shuttle, and the guy in
front of me was like, oh, you just press the ticket button.
And I was like, can youhelp me find the ticket button. I've
been trying for the past five minutes. I cannot find the ticket button.

(04:28):
He's like, yeah, yours doesn't. I don't see it here. Zaddy
downloaded the app. The ticket buttonwas there for him. That's one example.
Another example was like my insurance andthings like that, like for work,
sometimes they'll be like your automatic paymentjust it just stopped working out of
nowhere. For no dang reason.So I didn't have health insurance when I

(04:49):
went to urgent care for my earinfection, which was the worst. And
then I had just gotten back fromI don't know where I got back from,
but I had taken like a Fridayoff or a Monday off or something,
so I didn't want to take asick day after I just took a
vacation day because it was going tolook like I was trying to expend my

(05:10):
vacation and not wasn't actually sick,but I was actually sick. I dragged
myself to work that entire week andit was awful. And then at the
end of that week, my partnerwas on vacation, so I had to
do the show all by myself.It was just the worst. And then
you know those Saturday shifts, theyreally get me but excuses, oh boohoo,

(05:30):
Crystal. Yeah, so I hadthe worst. I get ear infections
probably once a year, and thisone was by far the worst I've ever
had. And the one time Ihave the worst ear infection ever, my
insurance for some reason didn't go through, so I don't I can't go to
the doctors unless I want to spenda good seven hundred dollars on a checkup
and antibiotics, So it was theworst. I felt like things just kept

(05:56):
not going my way, and Iwas just like, I don't want to
talk to anybody. I don't wantto see any buddy. On top of
that, my heart's been really heavyfor what's been going on in the Middle
East. I have a coworker that'sreally close to me here, Shelley Rome.
Her family is from Israel. Sheis Jewish. I have a lot
of close Jewish friends, and Ialso have Middle Eastern friends and Arabic friends,
and I love the Arabic culture.And I don't personally know I don't

(06:18):
think I personally know someone that's Palestinian, but just it's just been so tough
to see, like do I don'tof you feel like you don't even want
to scroll anymore because you don't likeseeing what's going on. And on one
side of things, it's like,of course, if you just ignore it,
that doesn't mean the problem is goingaway. But it's so heavy on

(06:39):
my heart, and I feel likeI can't really do much and I don't
want to speak on one side ofthings or on another side of things.
I don't want to post anything becauseI don't want either of my friends or
families on either side to feel likeI am taking sides here. And some
people do believe it's a cop outsaying, oh, I'm on human side,
but it is true. I sawa me and the mem was like,

(07:00):
because you know, I am Catholic, I'm Christian Catholic, and I
go to church. I'm very closeto my spirituality and whatnot, and I
never ever want to push it onyou. This is just what I was
what I witnessed. And I sawa post and it was like, who's
feet would Jesus wash Palestinians or IsraeliJewish? And this next slide was both,

(07:29):
because that's literally what it is like. We are praying for people that
are in a terrorist ran country.We are praying for people that are so
threatened that they constantly feel like theyhave to defend themselves violently, and just
there's just so many things like that'sjust really been laying heavy on me.

(07:50):
And last week we got pretty badnews about my prima Jessica. If you've
been hanging out with me for along time, you know that one person
in my life that's so so importantand precious to me is my Bee,
my Jessica. She's a few yearsolder than me. She lives in California.
She's a single mom, and shewas diagnosed with leukemia when she was

(08:11):
about twenty eight years old, somy age twenty nine. And then she
survived it. She survived leukemia.Leukemia is cancer in your blood. It's
pretty much a death sentence if youget leukemia, and she survived it.
She was honored at Light the Night. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society have walks

(08:33):
every year and she was honored atthe Woe in San Francisco that I helped
partner with, and she's just ahuge advocate for cancer survivors. Unfortunately,
about a few weeks ago, hercancer came back and she's still doing tests
and we're still finding out more aboutit, but it's came back in a
form of a tumor on her faceand it's really painful and it affects every

(08:56):
part of her body, and she'snot able to work. And she's finished
up her masters in social work becauseshe wants to help people. And it's
just sucky when the best people inyour lives are not healthy and diseased and
you can't really do much about itexcept for support however you feel you can.
And she's been avoiding talking to meand telling me because she knows that

(09:22):
I'm alone out here and she doesn'twant me to get in a rut.
But I do have to be honestthat me being so close to my spirituality
side of things, I am totallyoptimistic. I feel totally okay. The
doctors have a complete one to eightyplan for her, and I know she's
gonna be fine. It's it's juststill hard to think about. And it's
also really hard because I'm not overthere and I can't hug her, I

(09:45):
can't spend time with her physically,I feel like I can't do much.
But she is in great hands.She has such a good light spirit that
so many people around her want tohelp her every way that they can.
So she is good. But that'swhat's been kind of going on over here.
I've been dealing with a lot ofthese things. So I finally signed
up for therapy, which I've triedto go so many times. I've had

(10:05):
consultations with therapists. I've had therapysessions like maybe one or two times that
didn't really pan out. Work out. When I moved here to New York
City, I tried getting back intotherapy, but you know, with health
insurance and with your job, itjust gets really hard to get answers from
people. But I finally found answersabout two weeks ago for therapy sessions that
I have here through iHeart, andI am now with the program and I

(10:28):
get actually eight free sessions, whichis really awesome. And I'm still trying
to find out how much these sessionsare after the eight, but I cannot
find out. Everyone keeps telling meto call somebody else, and it call
somebody else, and they tell meto call somebody else and give me the
run arounds and email people and theytell me they're gonna get back to me
to open cases for me. Theyreally don't. It is so frustrating.
And that's not even the actual frustratingpart. So one reason that I really

(10:52):
pulled the trigger on finally finding atherapist is because my boyfriend Zaddy has been
going to therapy for a while nowand he's told me that it helps him
so much, and we have areally great relationship. But just like most
relationships, you have your ups andyour downs, and after we reflect on
our downs. We notice things abouteach other, and he's noticed things about

(11:16):
me, and he thinks that megoing to therapy will really help understand me
more me for myself, but alsohim because he wants to know everything and
more about me. So after himkind of pushing me in after the past
few weeks that I've been having,I was like, you know what,
I really really need to get maketherapy a priority. He's like, you've

(11:37):
been working out. You've been makingworking out of priority, which is true.
I saw a YouTuber he's from theMilk Boys. His name is Kyle,
and he decided to run a mileand see how long, how many
days in a row he can runa mile, and he did a whole
year, and I found that veryinspiring. So I started doing that and
now for me, it's been aweek and then I took a day off
Lastnesday morning, after Zaddi left,I just took a day off that day.

(12:03):
But then now this whole week,I've been doing it again. So
it's been days and days and daysin a row that I just wake up,
brush my teeth, go to thegym, get a mile, and
sometimes I'll stretch if I have time. Afterwards. I'll do little arm weights
if I have time, but letme just run a mile every day.
And I've been doing it. Sohe tells me. Zaddi tells me,

(12:24):
you've been getting your health in check. You are consistently going to church.
You know, when did you planon going to therapy? Like, there's
never a really right time to startdoing that. I'm like, you know
what, You're right. If Iwant to get to know myself better and
if I want us to work out, I really need to work on healing
myself. So I signed up formy first counseling session right, and that's

(12:45):
what it was called. It wascalled life coaching. And she was amazing.
She was from like Chattanoonga and shewas just like this like grandma figure
little Awadiita Vibes. I loved her, but she was at actually a life
coach, she was not a therapist. She told me what I do is
I work on your present and yourfuture. It sounds like you haven't really

(13:07):
healed from stuff in your past.You should look into a therapist through our
portal. And I say, oh, you were the first thing that came
up. I didn't even know therewas a difference. I thought you were
a therapist. She's like, no, but what we can do is sign
you up with a therapist. Youdo some sessions with them as long as
you feel like it, and thenyou can start integrating me into that.
I was like, perfect, becauseI really like you and I want to
work with you down the road.And she said cool. So then she

(13:30):
sent me to the portal where Ican find a therapist. I really want
a Latina therapist. I am aLatina, I am a Chicana. I
have immigrant parents. I I havemy story, and if you have parents
of immigrants, we have pretty similarstories with just clashings of culture, clashings
of generations, pressures from your parents, a whole bunch of thing, language,

(13:54):
a whole bunch of things that wecollectively have been through as children of
immigrants. So I'm looking for Latinatherapists in the portal and there's one that
she looks cool, but she doesn'thave any availability within the next like two
three weeks. So I was likeokay, and then I found another one
and she had a questionable amount ofavailability ability like a lot of days and

(14:18):
times, and it was like thiswas on Friday when I was looking and
she had appointments on Monday and Tuesday, and I was just like, you
know what, like let me dolike Halloween morning, That'll be totally fine.
So I said my appointment with her, and then on Monday, I
checked my calendar for work and wehaven't had Tuesday meetings in a very very
long time, like weeks. Butall of a sudden, our boss puts

(14:39):
in a Tuesday meeting and it's gonnaoverlap kind of with my therapy session.
So I'm like, oh, thisis really annoying, Like this is really
annoying. That means I'm gonna haveto have therapy at work, and I
do not want to start my firsttherapy session at work, honestly, Like
work, got a lot of reasonswhy I need therapy, and I think
a lot of it I can relate. I love iHeart, I love my

(15:01):
job. But just like a lotof jobs where you've been for a very
long time, there has probably beensome very toxic and traumatizing things that have
happened to you, and it's happenedto me with certain coworkers and certain situations.
I just don't want to be atwork when I'm doing therapy. So
I hit her up the therapist.I send her a message, I say,
hi, so sorry for that inconvenience, but last minute I was pulled

(15:24):
into a meeting. Is there away that I can change the day or
the time? And she said sure, However, you are within the twenty
four hour cancelation and rescheduling threshold.Therefore you will be charged a one hundred
and twenty five dollars cancelation fee.And I'm just like, huh, this
is supposed to be free. Thisis crazy. I said, Okay,

(15:50):
do you have any other times tomorrowthat I could be seen? Do you
have your nine am open? Doyou have your noon open? And she
goes, yes, let's change itto noon. However, because you are
within the twenty four hour rescheduling period, you are still going to be charge
one hundred twenty five dollars rescheduling fee. And in my head, I'm just

(16:11):
like, girl, it's not likeit's not like I'm no showing on you,
like I'm telling you, Okay,this is the policy. I understand.
So I tell her, Hi,I totally understand. This is my
first time using this portal and seeingyou. Is there any way that there's
a chance you can waive the fee, and she doesn't respond to me.

(16:38):
It was like six pm. Shedoesn't respond to me. She has her
boundaries, all right, she doesn'twant to respond after work hours, all
right, But I need to knowif I'm still gonna make my tending in
because that means I have to wakeup at eight am to jim E,
get to work, get to therapy, then after therapy, gonna have my
meeting. After my meeting, recordthe pod, do all my Halloween costumes,
do all the Instagram reels and allthat. I was like, I

(17:00):
need to know. So she doesn'tanswer me. So then I wake up
and I go to the gmie,I do all my things. This just
happened today, and then I'm rushingto the bus to make our ten am
appointment at work, my ten amtherapy session at work. So I message
her again because she hasn't messaged meback from six pm the night before.

(17:22):
I message her around nine thirty,So thirty minutes before our ten o'clock appointment,
I say, hi, are westill good for ten? No response?
Maybe she's in a meeting. Allgood, all fine, I'll dandy.
I do know that the sessions arein fifty minute increments, so it'll
be like nine to nine fifty andthen a ten minute break, and then
ten to ten fifty, and thenmaybe she'll get a ten minute breaks.
I was like, maybe she's inone right now and she's not gonna respond

(17:45):
until after that. I say,cool, So here comes nine to fifty.
I'm not getting a response. I'mrushing to this. I'm like catching
the last train, about to makeit on time. I guess we're doing
our ten o'clock because that's what itsays on our on our mutual therapy calendar.
It says me and her at ten. She didn't officially move it to
twelve like she said, So I'mlike cool. So then I get on

(18:11):
exactly at ten o'clock. She's notthere, and I'm just sitting there like
a thun thal, like all right, ten oh one, ten oh two,
ten oh three. I take ascreenshot because ain't no way nobody's gonna
charge me a dang cancellation on twentyfive dollars fee, Like I am so
stressed from trying to sign up formy first therapy session. I want to

(18:36):
strangle this therapist because of how justlike un like flexible and just very gray
and like I'm saying thank you,appreciating you, thank you for and she's
just like so unsympathetic about any ofthis, and like, at this point,

(18:56):
I'm just really upset that I haveto have a session with her.
The only reason I'm really having thesession with her it is because I don't
want to get charged this damn fee, and I'm just really annoyed. So
here comes ten oh one, tenoh two, ten oh three, ten
oh four. Again I took thatscreenshot, ten oh five, ten oh
six. I'm complaining to my coworkers. I'm like, yo, I'm supposed

(19:18):
to be in a therapy session rightnow. What the heck is going on?
So finally, at ten oh seven, I get a message that says
we are meeting at twelve pm period. I'm canceling this session without penalty to
this time only period. Like hergrammar wasn't even right, Like you are

(19:41):
my therapist? You are should Ibe judging a therapist on the grammar?
Is this fin any therapy you're supposedto be helping me in my past and
my trauma? I can't even correctlyread your sentence. I'm canceling the session
without penalty to you this time onlyand at that point, I'm just like,

(20:04):
I don't want to see her.It's ten oh seven. I don't
want to see her. I don'twant to talk to her. I don't
want this woman to know all mypast traumas and history of my life.
I just don't. So I respondand I say, thank you, I'm
going to look for another therapist.Let's not add twelve PM, appreciate you.

(20:26):
And then she says, I'll goahead and close your file so that
you can search for a new therapist. And that's it, and that's it,
and that's it. I want tofind her and have a word with
her, and my clenched fist,let's not, let's not, let Crystal
chill. Let's take a step back. Let's not. It's just like that

(20:48):
was so unhearted, like disheartening,and I know I'm not the only one.
I know I'm not the only onebefore I got to her and this
situation. Let me tell you whyI'm in my work portal because I was
looking for other in network therapists.I emailed off of another therapist portal fifteen
women therapists, only maybe three ofthem were Latina. And that's on us,

(21:12):
like as we need to get moreof our people into the therapy world
because we are needed like we areneeded. So that's really on us.
And it's not an easy job.So I'm not going to say like,
oh, go do it, it'seasy, Like, no, it's not
an easy job. I totally getit. But we just we need to
do. We gotta do for eachother and for our brains and for our

(21:33):
minds and for our souls. SoI emailed fifteen other women therapists and only
two got back to me. Onesaid no, I don't have any availabilities,
and the other one has been saying, yes, I have availabilities,
but with that I am going tohave to pay. So that's why I
want to go through this work portalfirst, because for this eight I'm not

(21:53):
going to have to pay, andI still don't know how much I don't
have to pay after the eight,which is the problem that I mentioned to
you earlier. But at least Iget eight for free, and maybe if
I like them, then I canstay along and I wouldn't mind paying for
them instead of already off the bot, paying for a few and trying different
therapists and not knowing if I likethem or whatnot and still having to pay
right. So I'm very annoyed.And like I said, I'm not the

(22:18):
only one that's been going through thissince I moved here. I've been telling
you that I have been putting iton my list to go to therapy and
get therapists, and then sometimes I'mlike, I don't really need it.
You know, I'm really close toGod and he's got my back. They
got my back. But knowing meand knowing what Zaddy has told me,
like, I really do want toexplore that, but not with this woman.

(22:44):
Sorry for the violent outbursts. Idon't believe in violence. I wouldn't
actually strangle her. I would justroll my eyes so crazy at her to
make her feel like I strangled her. That's what I would have done.
But yeah, that's been my therapyso far. Loved my life coach that
I had for ten minutes, stanher wish she was my therapist. But

(23:08):
yeah, that's a different certificate.So unfortunately that's a note. But that's
been my therapy, Jurty. That'swhat I've been going through today and yes,
the day. But how was Miamiwith Zee? I'm not in Miami
looking for I was singing sexy redsPoundtown that quote, specifically, my son

(23:33):
needs a new pappy. The entireweekend for that. So, if you
remember, I Heart Radio loved thecontent that I did for our twenty twenty
three I Highwadio Music festival in LasVegas. They were quaking in their boots.
National was like, Crystal, youdid the dang thing, and we
want to send you to Miami.And they did, they really did.

(23:56):
Not only that, my Zadi wassupposed to be in New York with me
the weekend that I was going tobe fleut out to Miami. So he's
like, you know what, Ilove Miami, I love you. I'm
flipping my flight from New York andI'll meet you Friday night in Miami and
then we'll fly back Monday morning soyou can make your Monday shift at Zy

(24:18):
one hundred. I said, perfect. So that week was the longest week
ever. Every week that I'm boilingdown to see my boyfriend Azzati gets just
becomes so so long. It justdrags out the longest. But finally I
hit the airport and I pull upto Miami at one point thirty in the
morning, which is just the worstwith like Uh, with the timing of

(24:44):
me getting off work, I hadto do a solo shift because my partner
was out, so let me doingtheir solo shift, and then me making
it to the airport, and thenthe flight time and then the only flight
that was going in was to FortLauderdale instead of Miami, and then the
taxi ride to the hotel took forever, but finally I pulled up on Zetti
and he had a food ready forme, a waiting, and we were

(25:06):
just cuddling all night and watching inPractical Jokers and it literally is the best
thing in the entire world. Sothen we wake up the next day and
he goes, I'm taking you tolunch. I'm taking you to a surprise,
and I say, oh my god, I'm so excited. So we
pull up to this lunch spot right, bruh, It's called the Rusty Pelican.
If you know, you know,all right, the best place in

(25:29):
the entire California to eat is pastaPelican. One of my first jobs ever,
I was a hostess and then Iwas a server, and I just
love pasta Pelican. Honestly, thefood is unmatched, the staff is unmatched.
I love pasta Pelican. Tell themthat I sent you. They're gonna
give you free dessert in Alameda,California. It's honestly, so so so
so so so good. I putso many people onto Pasta Pelican and it

(25:51):
just is so near and dear tomy heart. And he was asking around
to local miamier's, where's a goodplace I should take my booth thing for
lunch and they said the Rusty Pelicanis awesome. So took me to the
Rusty Pelican. Food not up topar for Pasta Pelican, but the ambiance

(26:12):
amazing and the drinks were great too, and it was so cute. It's
so Miami. It's literally on thewater. You get a view of downtown
Miami. It's everything. So I'mreally happy that Zaddi took me there.
And then afterwards I got ready.I got so ready. I got the
most radio ever gone because it's timefor Fiesta Latina, which is part of

(26:33):
our iHeartRadio events and every years inMiami. It's hosted by Rique Santos,
who is one of our biggest Latinoon air talents for iHeart. And I
was like the only on air jockthat they flew out, literally and DJ
dramos here from New York City.He's not really on air though he's a

(26:53):
DJ, but still like so cool. And my job literally just to take
over socials and do whatever the heckI wanted, which is a dream come
true. I was doing that kindof too for iHeart Festival, but I
had a little more responsibilities, andfor this one, I didn't really have
any responsibilities. It's literally like Crystal, do your thing now. My mom

(27:15):
had a few critiques. She thought, again, my cheecheestes were shown a
little much my boobies, but comeon, you gotta add some spicy,
you add some fighty its Miami andit's Fisa Latina. And then my mom
said that some of my questions werereally not that good, which I also
agree. I could have gone harderwith some of the questions, especially for
the bigger artists. I kind ofwant to. I wanted to ask like
everyday random questions that are relatable,but some of them they could have been

(27:41):
better. But some of them Istill went off and I'm really really happy
about that. I got my contentin. I did well for Ihar.
I did my Spanglish. I needto work on my Spanish a lot lot
more I'm not gonna lie like,even though I can get by in regular
conversation, I beget nervous and sometimesit's just really not up to par.
But that is something I need towork on. Towards the end of the

(28:02):
night, Mommy's getting tired. Ihave been running around on my heels and
my long dress. I've been gettingall the content and I'm just like,
I need to hit the zas soZady, he just like stayed at the
hotel lobby. He loved loves baseball, so he was just watching the Baseball
series things and that's all he reallydid. He was having a good old
time by himself. I thought hewas going to go out. He's in
a bouties and look at all thebbls. But he is such a loyal

(28:25):
king. He just stayed at thehotel lobby. And I know that because
I pop up surprised. I waslike, Yo, what are you.
I'm pulling up He's like, I'mat the lobby and he literally was right
there. I'm like, I lovethis man. So we had a burger,
shared a burger downstairs. We wentback up to the hotel and there
was an after party for iHeart nowI had mentioned this to him, and
he was totally down if I wantedto go. But I was super super

(28:48):
exhausted. I mean, let's notforget. I pulled up very very late
to Miami, and then I gotup early to go to the gym.
I'm a hotel gym girl. Now, Yes, I ran my mile even
in Miami. And then just likethe whole event, you know, I
get socially drained. You know,you have your social meter, and I
just get drained, and I'm likeposting and talking and recording and posting,

(29:11):
and it's just a lot. Somy brain gets really fried. So afterwards
we were kind of battling back andforth if we were going to go out.
He was like, really, Ijust want to do whatever you want
to do. So if you wantto stay in tonight, we can stay
in. If you want to goout a little later, we can go
out, Babe, Like whatever youwant. I'm like, I love you,
thank you. So I end upknocking out. I knocked out,
Wake up the next morning, getmy gym in again. And I had

(29:33):
told him that I was going totake him to a little jungle gym adult
jungle gym situation. He for thelongest time hasn't want to get on jet
skis. And I lied to him, and I told him that all the
jet skis I tried to book werebooked. And he goes, oh,
man, that's the same thing happenedto me in La. It's okay,
we can do whatever else you want. So I told him. I was
like, we can go to theaquarium, we can go to the jungle
gym. He's like, whatever youwant. So I lied to him and

(29:56):
I told him that I booked usa jungle gym like Tarzan offshole course thing.
And we got onto our ride shareand then we got dropped off at
this like doc and there was aboat and this guy meets us. He's
like, okay, this way andhe goes, we're going on a boat.
I'm like yeah, the boat takesus to the jungle gym area and

(30:18):
he's like okay. So then weget onto the boat and we're going on
the boat and then the captain goes, did you fill out the skeets certificate?
And I'm like no, and he'slike can you do that real quick?
And I'm like sure, and he'slike ski certificate And I look at
him and I'm like, yeah,we're going jet skis. We're going jet
ski. He's like, wow,that's why he told me to bring my
bathing suit. And he said wehad to take a boat to the jungle

(30:40):
gym. You're so annoying, blahblah blah. And he was so happy.
He was so happy that I surprisedhim with jet skis. We had
an hour long excursion. Oh mygosh, it was so fun. I
was even my best sexy bikini life. I'm on the back of my bubby
and I'm just holding him and he'sgoing and we're like going on the jet
ski, going crazy. I'm takingphotos videos of us. And then we

(31:04):
jump into the ocean and we're likeswimming, living our best mermaid and barnacle
boy life. And then he's like, do you want to get on?
Do you want to write it?And I'm like yeah, so I start
writing it. I get He getsbehind me. He's like holding on to
me. He is so heavy.He is so heavy. This guy's like

(31:25):
huge. He's a dang Chromagna Neanderthal. He is huge. I don't I
think those are actually small. I'mthinking of a YETI he's a big old
yetti He's a big old guy andhe's just holding on to me, and
he was like, really calm,cool, collected on the jet ski.
Not me. I was going fullthrottle. I'm like doing donuts. At
one point, it literally almost flipsover, and we took our certificate and

(31:48):
we were taught how to flip itback over if it gets flipped over.
But I was going so crazy thatit literally almost slipped over. We jumped
off and that's the only reason itdidn't flip over. We would have capsized,
but we were all good. Ifound this area where I was like,
boom, can we walk here?Like it looks like you're in the
middle of the ocean off of Miami, like downtown Miami, and I'm like,

(32:09):
boo, is this a colt forest? I think we could walk here?
So we jumped off. Girls timingwhy you could literally walk in the
middle of the ocean. So we'reover here. It's like walk in Torking
having the best time, and thenthe captain comes up to us in a
jet ski. He's like, doyou want to go check out the mansion?
And we're like yeah, so wefollow him around. He shows us
this beautiful castle on the water.It was like conic. And then he's

(32:31):
like, Okay, you guys havelike thirty more minutes or whatever. So
him and I go into where therich houses are on the water and we're
just kind of like waiting over therein the water and we're just like,
oh my god. It was thebest ever. We had so so,
so much fun. And then weget back on the boat. We have
a bottle of wine and then westart chugging the wine on the boat ride
back. Then we're already downtown.We're at Coconut Coconut Grove. I think

(32:57):
it's called the Miami Area. It'slike twenty minutes from downtown, like South
I think. And it's really cuterestaurants, bougie restaurants. It's giving kind
of Beverly Hills a little bit vibes. So we picked the cutest restaurant and
we get to seat down and we'rehaving lobster ravioli and we're having chicken Wing's

(33:19):
my favorite. We're sharing a drinkand by this time we are current curly.
I also say current curly and turned. We are curley right now and
we're having just the best time together. And then we get back to the
hotel room and we take a napfor a little bit, and then we
wake up around that eight thirty ninefor our dinner reservations. I told him

(33:43):
his one job for Miami was topick a dinner for us, and I
gave him like a list of theseplaces, and he picked No No Vikkov
Miami, n O v Ikov Miami. Girl. When I tell you I
had the shrimp tempora I've ever hadin my entire life, is zad.
He doesn't even like shrimp, andhe was jaw dropped. And then we

(34:07):
just like we ordered, like wejust ordered little things like we love to
appetizer hop I mean, don't getus wrong, Like he likes a good
steak. I like my good prawns. But like there were so many good
things on the menu that especially likesushi and things like that. So he
was like, let's get sashimi,and I was like, okay. So

(34:27):
we got the chef's tasting of sashimi. But then when it came, it
came with rice, and we're like, we thought it didn't come with rice,
and he was like, oh mybad, Okay, I'll bring you
the sashimi then, and we saycool, and what about this one he's
like, oh, you can keepit, So he let us keep tool
chef platters of sushi raw fish,which was crazy. And then he's making

(34:52):
the wasabi right there, giving usfresh made wasabi. There's like a paddle,
a small paddle, and he's gettingthe sabi root. It kind of
looks like ginger but green, andhe's like kind of like mushing it right
there with this paddle thing. I'mlike, what's on there's that sandpaper and
he goes, it's shark skin.So he's using shark skin to make the

(35:13):
wassabi paste and it's happening right infront of us fresh wasabi. It was
so good. So if you're inMiami you're trying to have a bougie dinner,
Savior coins because it's kind of expensive. Novikovno v Ikov, and it's
a it's on the water, it'sa cute view, it is a sexy
in there. It's everything. Some and Zaddi are just eating, eating,

(35:36):
eating, eating, eating, eating, drinking, drinking, drinking,
having a good old time. Soafter that, it's already like ten thirty
and we have a seven am flightand we're like, should we go out?
Should we not? I don't know. I don't know. I was
looking like cutie cuty petuity. Iwas looking bad. I was on my
fake pleather pants, I was wearingmy little small heels, my I put
my sticky bron so that my cheechiesare out. I was looking bad af

(36:00):
and he was like, okay,let's go. So then we asked our
server where should we go. He'slike, go to Sugar. It's this
rooftop bar. You can even walkthere. We said, perfect. So
we pull up. So cute.It's a garden on a rooftop, a
big old tiki bar, and awhole bunch of places to sit. So
we pull up and it is cute. It is a vibe, and it

(36:21):
is a packed and all talks ofdifferent people there. So we get two
seats at the bar and I starttalking. He goes to the bathroom.
I start talking to the couple nextto us, and we start making friends.
She's like a world traveler, shehas her own business. So we
start talking to them, and westart talking to them for like an hour
and we're just drinking, taking shots, having a good old time. And

(36:43):
then after that we're there for like, yeah, for a while. Okay,
ten thirty eleven twelve twelve thirty.I'm like, boo, I really
want to take you to Mangoes inSouth Beach. He's never been all right.
If you've ever been to South Beach, Miami, you've probably seen and
been dragged to the rat Tree ofMangoes. And honestly, it's iconic.

(37:07):
It's where me and my primus wentwhen I went to Miami for the first
time as an adult for my primaMonica's bachelorette party. And it is just
crazy ratchetree like you never It's likethe Jersey Shore Karma of South Beach.
Okay, it is the dirty birdin the East Bay and Hayward of South

(37:30):
Beach, Miami. So he did. He didn't know what to expect.
He was like cool, he andhe's bougie like my man's he is.
He's very picky where he likes togo. If it's not really his vibe,
he's gonna be like, I'm out. I've told you about how I
took him to Rudy's here in NewYork City where you get the five dollars
picture of beer and the hot dog. And he smelled He's smell like hot

(37:52):
dog water in there and he hatedit. He's one of those and I
know Mongos was going to be aplace like that, but I wanted him
to see Mongos and I wanted tobe the first person to bring him there.
So we pull up to Mongos.You know how they do it.
They're gonna hit you with that tendollars cover charge. When me and my
Paimama gave went last Christmas to Miami, we walked right out because we're like,

(38:14):
y'all are not charge. There's nobodyin there. We are the vibe
like how are you charging us?We are women, But if there's a
man with you, they're gonna chargeyou no matter what. So just me
and him we did the cover thing. It's like half empty. People are
stumbling as hell. There's like thethree weird couples torking way too crazy on

(38:35):
the dance floor. There's a girlpassed down on the corner. There's another
girl with vomiting her hair. Mongosis the vibe. It is hilarious,
and the DJ is just the worst, playing like music nobody knows or cares,
like the worst remixes of these reggaetonsongs, and then like old song,
it's just it is toxic and hehates it, but also loves that.

(38:59):
I like that he hates it,and we are still having a good
old time. I get one drinkfor us, and I'm like, we
need to go upstairs. So wego upstairs. There's like barely anyone there.
We're watching the dance. There's liketable dancers like going off like bbl's
in place in motion. We're watchingthem, We're cheersing, we are Me

(39:22):
and him are toorking on the top. I am bending it all the way
over and he is taking We aregoing off, just the two of us.
It was so fun. We weren'tthere for a long time. We
were there for a good time.He hated most of it, beloved it
because I love that he hated it, and it was still cool, Like
that's a good thing about him,and I is just like, even if
it's the worst DJ, even ifthere's nobody at the club, even if

(39:44):
he does not want anything to dowith the location, like we are still
going to have a good time andlooking back like we had. I had
a great time with him. Sothen we get back to the hotel,
probably around two closer to two amand five am goes my alarm clock to
start packing again into the ride shareat five point thirty. Again to the

(40:07):
airport at six crazy people. Luckilywe sprint and barely make our flight.
And it is the worst flight thatcould have ever happened. I mean,
I was running on maybe an hourand a half of sleep, wholeheartedly,
still hungover, terrible mood. I'min a terrible, terrible, terrible,

(40:31):
terrible terrible mood. I'm physically exhausted, and he's in a good old,
jolly mood. I don't know whyor how what got into this man,
but he is just up in Adamsand giggly and in a good old mood.
He's really happy that we're taking ourfirst flight together. There were problems
after problems after a problem. Notonly do we barely make it, because

(40:52):
we barely make it, he hasto check his bag in. I'm telling
the attendant, I'm like, Ican find space. She's like, no,
you can't. And girl, trustI have taken so many flights,
Like even when they say we arefull, I know they are not full.
I will grab somebody's backpack from upthere, and I will show it
on top of somebody else's and therewill be room and she is arguing.
She's like, there's not room,and I was like, there is.

(41:13):
She's like, there's not. Pleaseget off, sir and go check your
bag in And I start walking inand I look at her. I'm like,
ma'am, there is room, andshe says, look, the suitcases
aren't gonna fit that way, sono, you can try if you want.
And I'm like, okay, I'mgonna try. And in front of
everybody, she screams at me.She goes, no, you're not putting
a bag up there, and Ijust I have no energy, Like I'm

(41:36):
not giving her any negative energy.I'm actually have no energy to give.
That's how much energy I'm giving her. None. I'm not being rude,
I'm not being condescending. I'm beingcooperative because I know that she can kick
me off a flight, right duh. But also I'm telling her, I'm
like, I could move these andthere would be room. And she said,
no, you're not moving that.Get to your seat, and I

(41:57):
was so embarrassed. I was somad. I was just like, oh
my god, I ain't got timefor this. I keep walking. By
this time, Zaddie had already hewasn't there, and he also is very
unconfrontational, like he knows that hewouldn't want to ruffle any feathers either,
because we just want to get backto New York City, like there are
no other options, like if Idon't make this fly, I'm not making
it to work. So so,so I go to my seat and there's

(42:21):
someone in my seat and I tellthis man. I say, hi,
sir, are you sure this isyour seat? And he goes yes,
and I say okay, because I'mpretty sure it's my seat, and he
goes, no, this is myseat. And I look at my phone.
I say so you are thirty sixe and he goes yes, and

(42:42):
I'm like, can I see yourticket? And by this time a stewardess
is already coming up, and he'slike, you're not gonna tell me what
to do, and then she comesup. She's like, sir, can
I see her? And I look, I show her and she can see
that I'm he's in my seat,and she goes, sir, can I
please see your ticket? And hegoes oh, and he pulls it out
and he goes, oh, I'min the wrong row. And I don't
say anything. I don't care.I have no energy to care. I

(43:05):
just want to sit down. Iwant to pull my pillow out, and
I just want to knock out.I want to take four melatonin and just
die right now. Okay, sohe gets out. I sit in the
middle seat. Zaddy needs the aisle. Zaddy's in the aisle. I try
to knock out. I'm so uncomfortable, I'm hungry, I'm hungover, I'm

(43:28):
exhausted. I want to die.I somehow make it through this longest fight
of my life with this man nextto us. Somehow he gets on a
video conference call and he is loudas hell, loud as hell with the
stutter. Poor thing. I feelbad for people with stutters. I don't
know if they know that they startedthat bad. I think they're just uced
to it. I used to studya little bit too, but I feel

(43:51):
bad. This guy had a reallybad stutter, but loud as hell on
phone conferences, stuttering crazy, andI'm just trying to sleep. We touched
down a little early, but whatdo you know. The gate's not ready,
so we have to wait a littlelonger. First world problems, First
world problems, Crystal, shut up. Nobody cares. Nobody cares about your

(44:15):
flight. Problems. Shut up.We get off the flight, we get
into a taxi. I'm dying onthe way back home. What do you
know, I get an email thatmy partner is sick. I should be
the one calling out sick, butI was just in Miami, and I
don't want to not have my Miamiopportunities anymore taken away from me because I

(44:38):
can't get together on the way backfrom Miami. So what do I have
to do. I have to dothe whole show by myself. I wish
I could have just like Chilled andthe Minimal, but no, I have
to now produce, schedule, runmy whole show by myself, which is
totally fine. I mean, that'swhat I'm there to do. Like my
partner called out sick before I did, I was not going to call out

(45:00):
sick. He probably was sick,so yeah, he wouldn't lie about something
like that, So I had tojust suck it up. Get home.
Six seven o'clock. Zaddie's there ina good old mood because his forty nine
ers are about to play in alittle bit, and I'm so tired.
I surprise him with our spooky seasononesies. I got Pumpkin onesies for us.

(45:23):
I blindfolded him and I put theonesie on him, and then I
blundfolded him and I took a videoof us having matching onnesies to see what
he would think. And he's alittle shy boy. He gets shy and
videos and stuff. But he assoon as the video turned off, he
was like, I love it.I freaking love it. I think it's

(45:45):
so awesome that he's down to dolike the annoying like couple things with me.
He's just like, he's so down. I have gotten some interesting comments
in my messages about me hiding hisface on Instagram. Someone said he's either

(46:05):
cheating on me or he's ugly.Someone said, dang, he's that fugly.
There's been comments like that, andI've been getting messages like that,
like why are you shamed to showhim off? What are you hiding?
Listen. I have had my shareof charity work for the ugly community.
I have definitely dated people in thepast for their hearts and souls and not

(46:31):
their looks. I have no problemwith ugly people at all, and I
think that they're great and for along time, I definitely like to date
six and blows because it just mademe feel better. But after everything I
went through last year with the datinga new guy every week, I was
like, these guys are gonna justbe trash, whether they're ugly or cute

(46:53):
for the most part, I mightas well start dating for looks. So
I started dating a little bit forlooks and it was isn't that bad?
And when I met Zaddi, hewas just everything and more. I off
the bat was crazy attracted to him. He had just such a sweet,
pure soul. And he's just notpart of the ugly community. I don't

(47:16):
know what else to say. Ireally don't. He is not ugly.
I'm not hiding his face on Instagramaround socials because he's ugly. I also
know that he's not cheating on me. Well, you never know if someone's
really not cheating on you. Butwe are very open with each other.
We know each other's passwords, weknow where we are. Like I could

(47:38):
call him at any time, hecalls me checks in any time. I
don't at all think that he wouldever, ever, ever, ever cheat
on me. Knock on wood,but no, for real, Like,
it's just he doesn't have it forhis own reasons. He has told me
multiple times why he strongly does notbelieve and cheating, so I know that

(48:00):
that's not gonna be him. He'snot cheating on me. The reason,
and I've shared it with you beforethat I like to conceal the identity of
people that I date is because onefirst and foremost, they are not signing
up for this life of being onthe radio and being on social media.

(48:21):
That's me and my thing. Sonone of the guys that I have ever
dated, I've ever put on socialmedia. I think the last time that
I posted a guy that I datedon social media was my prom date when
I was a senior in high school, and I don't even think him and
I were official at that point,so it wasn't even like that. That's

(48:44):
like the last guy that I actuallydated and posted. I've never posted guys
afterwards that I've dated. You've neverseen a photo or video with me and
any of my exes ever, eventhe guys that I dated casually here in
New York City. Never the guysthat I had boyfriends of the week.
Yeah, I would post them,but I wasn't actually dating any of my
boyfriends of the week. When Iwas at Wild and dy four nine,
and that was just a segment.I never dated any of those guys except

(49:07):
for the rapper Little Skurp, butwe never posted his face either, So
that's what I'm saying. It's justlike, I tell you everything about me
in my life and a lot ofwhat goes on with the people that I
date, including my boyfriend now,and I don't want them to be judge.
I don't want people that listen andknow them to be judge and bring

(49:27):
up things like it's just not fair. So I'm not a celebrity. I
don't think it's because of my statusor I'm definitely not a celebrity. Someone
who was like, you think you'rea celebrity that you have to know it's
really not that. Is that likehe has his own life and this is
me in my life, and Idon't I'm not ready to open that up.
Number one. Number two, I'vetold you before, he doesn't have

(49:49):
socials, he doesn't have any formof social media, So what is even
the point of posting him when hedoesn't have social media? I mean not
only that, but number two,he has his own family only life.
He has a child, and thatcan be really delicate if you're dating someone
with kids, So I just reallydon't. I mean, we've talked about
it before, like we've never talkedabout not posting him. I just never

(50:12):
do it. And it's not evena conversation because he just knows that I
don't do that and it's just somethingthat like I don't think is necessary.
So that is why I don't postZaddie. Not because he is ugly,
because trust me, you I've datedugly and he's not one of them.
Number two, he's not cheating onme. I'm not cheating on him.

(50:34):
We're very, very comfortable and solidin our relationship. It's just that,
like for what I do in mylife, that's upon me and I want
to be on social media, andhe has his own life, his own
family, his home, own workthat is a serious job. Like I'm
posting in a britty spears wig formy job. He does not and will

(50:57):
not do that ever for his AndI mean I don't think that he would
ever be embarrassed if anyone of hiscoworkers or anything found out about help me
what I do, But it's completelynot at all what he does. Like
that is just I know him.So he's really like that with me,
but he's just he's his own personand none of his co workers we'd be

(51:22):
talking about that, like it's justlet him do him. I'm gonna let
him do him and be professional andbe corporate Zaddy, And that is going
to be that. But that's whyI was and continue to cover him up
in my socials in case he werewondering. Now, let's talk about what
has been going on with Misa.With my church. This past weekend,
I had to do the afternoon shifton my Saturday shift, so that's from

(51:44):
two to seven, which means Iactually had the morning open, which means
that I was actually able to volunteerat the soup kitchen for my church.
And I've been wanting to for solong, but the weekends that I'm here
in New York City, I usuallyhave a Saturday morning shift, and that's
when the soup kitchen times are.So no I ever been able to do
the soup kitchen while I was hereand off, But because I was doing

(52:04):
the afternoon shift, I was ableto. So I pull up to the
soup kitchen and it's not crazy hardwork. There's already chefs in the kitchen
that's preparing all the soups and thesandwiches, which is really awesome. And
then we have people dropping off donationsfor different food items, and then me
and some of my homies from hospitalitythat I already knew, we're out here
putting napkins on spoons and setting uppaper bags so we can put them in

(52:29):
there, just kind of doing setupwork for when the soup and the sandwiches
were ready. So it was reallyeasy and we're all talking and there was
enough of us where we didn't feelstressed. So then comes noon where people
are going to line up and getthe food that we're passing out, or
if they would like, they cancome inside. And it's kind of like
a high school cafeteria vibe and youcould sit down and eat there. So

(52:51):
people are lighting up and we're passingout our sandwiches and we're passing out the
soups and what not a lot ofpeople and it was really really nice day
on Saturday. It was like eightydegrees that day. And then here comes
out this man. And this mansays to me and my god dad,
I call him, I call himand his wife my godparents of New York

(53:13):
City. So this man comes outfrom eating in the cafeteria and says to
him, my goddad, you guysshould really give water with your food.
And he says, oh, well, actually, we usually do give water
out with our food, especially duringthis summer, but since it's fall time
now and usually expected to be cold, we just don't give water out.

(53:34):
He said, well, if you'regiving out food, then you need to
give us something to drink. There'snothing to drink, and then he goes
to him, well, if youwant me to drink, we actually have
a water fown. Why don't yougo drink at the water fowl And he's
like, the least you could dois give us water bottle, and he
goes, okay, what's your nameand he goes, my name is Christian

(53:58):
and he goes, oh, hi, my name is uh. We'll call
him Doc. My name is Doc. And did you at least enjoy your
meal and he goes, that's noteven a meal, that's a snack.
It's not even enough to say it'sa meal. And let me tell you,
it's like a hefty like half ofa sandwich and a whole soup.
Like you're you could be fool afterthat, and he was like a regular

(54:22):
looking guy. He was just likethis regular what does he look probably the
end of his forties man. Andhe goes, that's not even a meal.
That's a snack that you can't evenconsider that a meal. And then
Doc goes, well, I'm sorrythat you feel that way. You know,
we hope you liked your snack.And he goes, you should come

(54:42):
to my church. We give realmeals. We give actual meals, like
a real meal. And then Docgoes, oh, well, what is
the name of it. We haven'tgone yet, we can go check it
out. And he goes it's theChurch of Satan. And then he goes,
okay, well have a good dayChristian, and then he just walks

(55:02):
away and he leaves. And itwas just me and Doc that witness this,
like no one else really, likeif there's no one else really in
line, like there was because peoplekind of come and go. There was
no one else there. Everyone elsewas inside, right, And me and
Doc look at each other, andthen Doc looks at me, He's like,
you see, you see that reallyis like the devil working. And
his name was Christian. His namewas from christ Christian. I was like,

(55:22):
that's crazy, and he ate insideof our church, like he ate
inside of our church. He's like, yeah, man, we gotta pray
for that guy. And I'm like, I know, we really have to
pray for that guy. It wasso crazy, like you just have to
pray for people like that, Likeyou can't believe that after we I mean,

(55:43):
they were up since like seven eight. I didn't pull up until nine,
but it was new by this point. We were all doing this like
volunteer basis, Like we don't getpaid, you know, this is all
volunteer, helping to give back tothe community and helping people that really need
food. There's some people that reallylook forward to it and need that meal
every day, right, and thisguy was just complained about it, that
wouldn't have enough water for him andthat the meal wasn't a meal enough.

(56:06):
It was just a little snack.You called me a snack. I'm happy
anyways, it was just so CraigGray that I witnessed that, and you
know, we really have to justpray for people like that, like,
not in a condescending way, notin a rude way, like there really
is something that's empty within people thatact that way and think that way.

(56:27):
And if you just pray for themand pray light for them, and pray
that one day they can find joyin something and and find thanks giving like
thinks is so much just giving athank you, Like he didn't even say
thank you to us, And wedon't do it because we want to thank
you, like we really just doit to help out people and that need
it. Right, It was justwild, But yeah, it's all Please
collectively pray for him that he somehowgets filled with joy and grace of the

(56:53):
emptiness that he has. Because thatwas wild. That was wild. So
that was my weekend, my pastweekend Halloween festivities. I didn't really do
much. My really really good friendBetsy is in town. Betsy braids.
She's the one that used to braidme up when I used to do my
side braids and I was that wildthen new for nine. I don't do
those anymore here in New York becauseI am literally balding, like my edges

(57:16):
are gone from doing them for somany years. However, and she's in
town working and just relaxing, hangingout with me and staying with me.
So we didn't do anything really Saturday. I puzzled. Sunday, same kind
of low key, just relaxed,went to church. Actually, Sunday we
went to a dinner. One ofmy neighbors invited me to her friend's Halloween

(57:39):
dinner party, who is a chefhere in New York City, and he
was having the dinner party at hishouse with the beautiful rooftop terrace. It
was gorgeous and the food was sogood. I got to mingle, I
got to meet new people. Itwas really awesome. Did that for a
few hours. Sunday. Yesterday,came in worked alone again. Max's sickport
thing. Let's prey from X twothat he gets better. He's been battling

(58:01):
with like a really nasty cough anda sickness, so he was sick Yesterday.
I held down the show by myself. Afterwards, I got ready for
my costume number one. You know, I was kind of it was very
last minute in my costumes. Grahamfrom the JV Sean Wild Nae Fernin in
San Francisco hit me a few weeksago, was like, what are you
doing for Halloween? I was like, I don't know. He's like,
I'm going to be dancing with knives, Brittany, let's do it together.

(58:22):
And I say that's hell of funny. Okay, I'm going to do that
with you. So that was myget my outfit for today Yesterday. A
few days ago, I was like, why don't I be Drake Champagne Poppy's
son Adonis and do the speech thathe did in his freestyle rap. So
I did that last night. Oh, people loved it. It definitely hit.

(58:45):
I got great engagement on it.And that took me like maybe an
hour to learn the lines and anotherhour to record an edit and post for
where I really liked it. SoI did that last night. It was
a hit. And then this morningI got up extra for the gym for
that therapist session that I didn't havewith she who I wanted to roll my

(59:07):
eyes to the death of me.And then I got my whole Britney Spears
Dancing with Knives outfit ready. ShelleyRome, who does knights here a Z
one hundreds. She helped me toget the video footage here at work.
So I was just running around theoffice and like doing my Brittany dances.
Lucky for me, like I knoweverybody in her office, Like I go
say hi to everybody. I know, all the salespeople I know a lot
of the engineers I know, peoplethat help around management. So I've already

(59:31):
I've already like became friends with thesepeople. So it's not weird for me,
and it's not weird for them either, Like they know that I am
crazy. Some people are like youare you are on another level, and
I'm like, yeah, we knowthis. When I edited and put the
video together, I thought that Ithought that it was going to get love,

(59:51):
but I didn't think that it wasgoing to get this much love.
Now, let me be honest withyou. Back in the day on Instagram,
I used to pop off engagement usedto go razy, Like a good
video that I put effort in,easy one hundred plus comments, easy one
hundred thousand or more views. Butwith this new Instagram algorithm, very hard
to get engagement like before. Solet's say, like I have I only

(01:00:14):
have like forty thousand followers, right, which isn't that I'm a very micro
micro influencer. Before the algorithm gotall crazy, I used to get thirty
forty comments a photo easy. Now, like if I reached like ten comments,
I'm like, wow, okay,that did okay, that did well.
You guys, this video, thisBritney Spears video that I did is

(01:00:37):
close to one hundred thousand views andfive hundred comments, which means for me
and the low engagement that we getnow because of Instagram, that's really good
for me. So if you're listeningto this, run it up, go
drop a nice little comment, goshare. It's getting shared and mentioned.
Hell at times, I really reallyhope that Brittany sees it. I have

(01:00:57):
gotten a few negative comments on it, are saying that I am exploiting Brittany
or making fun of her mental health. Y'all. If you know me,
like if you listen to me onZ one hundred, I am such a
Brittany advocate. I am always rootingfor her. I'm always saying, don't
make fun of her, don't talkbad about her, like we love you,

(01:01:17):
Brittany, we want the best foryou. Brittany. I always am
hyping her up like I am notdoing that. And also, none of
us are mentally healthy. We allhave our own mental health struggles. I've
been there before, I've had myown issues and I'm still not sane.
So people like to point the fingerand be like, oh, you know,
if you actually read her book andknow you would know this is not

(01:01:40):
funny. Like, no, ifyou listen to what Brittany says and you've
heard her what she says, shesays that she loves dancing, she loves
what people say about it, sheloves being happy on the internet, and
she loves sharing that part of herlife with us. I don't think it's
a problem to emulate that. I'mI'm flattering her like I love Brittany,

(01:02:00):
Like I'm laughing with the Brittany,not at Brittany. I'm not doing it
maliciously, like I stan her.She is my queen. I would never
want to do something to make funof in a bad negative way or to
be mean to her like I loveher. So I did what I had
to do on the video. Somepeople took it a little too far,

(01:02:22):
but for the most part, it'sgetting a lot a lot of love.
I mean, I'm getting text messagesfrom people saying how much I went off
and how they're loving and just werelaughing hysterically, And that's really all I
want to do, Like, Ijust want to make people laugh and make
people feel happy. So it kindof sucks when you get that negativity,
but you're gonna get it. Regardless, Like, You're never gonna make any
everybody happy with something that you do, so you just have to do you,

(01:02:45):
and you just have to do youwith your best intentions, and if
it hurts some people on the way, you hope not to. But you're
never gonna make everybody happy, likeI just said. So, my Halloween
so far has been everything. I'ma little tired right now. I think
I am going to go out tothe parade though, and my bestie Michelle
has a lit party that she's invitingus to, so I think that I'm

(01:03:06):
gonna go skip on over there tothat. Now the rest of the week
should be chilled for me. Iam heading back home on Thursday night because
my prima is getting married. Crustul, your pretimas are always getting married.
Yes, my dad is one ofeleven. What do you want me to
say about that? What do youwant me to do about that? My
family is always getting married? AndI can't go to every single wedding.

(01:03:27):
I can't go to every single Kia, but I try to go to the
ones that I can. So I'mgoing and Zatti my plus one, and
Zaddi is my plus one. He'sso cute. He was also looking for
little ties and pocket scores to matchmy dress, and he picks some questionable
ones. I'm like, boo,it's giving it's giving ceiling crown molding,

(01:03:54):
it's giving hogwarts, it's giving vintagemirror. But whatever Zaddy wants to do,
Zaddy will do. I'm really excitedabout that. I get to hang
out with my homies. We're gonnahave like a little like reunion with my
besties on Saturday, I believe,and then Sunday just chill. I go
back home Sunday night and then comeback to New York City on Monday,

(01:04:15):
so it's gonna be chill. I'mreally hoping to pop out another episode on
Tuesday. If we have that Tuesdaymeeting, it's going to be all good
for us, because I'm ana gayhere early anyways. Girl. But that's
pretty much what's been going on withme. I want to thank you for
being patient and understanding. I knowthat you look forward to a new episode
every week. I have podcasts andvideos I look forward to every week,
and it is a bummer when theydon't come out when they say they're going

(01:04:36):
to come out, It's like,bro, what else are you doing?
What else is going on. Well, I'm dealing with an ear infection,
I'm dealing with the war in theMiddle East. I'm laughing because it's awkward
and I'm comfortable, not because Ithink it's funny. I'm dealing with my
prima getting freaking cancer again. I'mdealing with my ups and downs of my

(01:04:58):
boyfriend is Zaddy, And I mean, there's mostly mostly mostly up, so
let's just get that out of theway. But you know, the downs,
like hurt are hard. They're hard, they don't hurt, they're just
hard, and so all that combinedwith life. But I think that maybe
when I find a therapist that Idon't want to strangle, I might be
able to get more on track.Because I had to answer like a questionnaire

(01:05:19):
before, and the part of thequestionnaire is like, are you having trouble
doing your work on time and beingon schedule with things and feeling like you're
overwhelmed with work? And I'm like, yes, trouble, yes, trouble,
yes, trouble. Like I don'teven want to sit down to record
a podcast because of how I feelsometimes, but every time I hang out
with you, it really does makeme feel better and I feel really happy,

(01:05:40):
and I just love the love thatyou give me, and I'm very
thankful for it. So now let'sgive you some love and some encouraging words
today. This one is called goodadvice. Let's take a deep breath.
Today was a lot good advice.Many times you tell yourself what you must
do and then leave it at that. But what if you were to actually
follow through on your own good advice? There are reasons why you're telling yourself

(01:06:05):
these things. You're well positioned toknow what's best for you and what isn't.
So don't be satisfied with just knowingwhat must be done. Give yourself
the benefit of actually doing it.Sure, it's easier to merely scold yourself
and made promises to yourself, Yetyou have what it takes to make good
on these promises. You deserve thefull benefit of your own perceptions. You

(01:06:25):
deserve to act on those perceptions.What have you been telling yourself you ought
to do? Today's your opportunity tomake it happen. What do you think
about that? Well, I'm happythat I was telling myself I should be
one of those girlies that goes tothe gym every day, and I've been
doing that nine out of ten times, So that's what I'm happy about.

(01:06:48):
What else? I'm happy that I'mtrying to follow through with going to therapy,
but now I got to actually goand do it again. Let me
find someone I don't want to strangle. But I'm happy about that. What
could I work on? Though?It could work on being more persistent with
the pod? How we say that, But it's just I always feel better

(01:07:11):
when I hang out with you.But a whole extra hour and a half
to two hours of like my week, it doesn't seem like a lot,
but the weeks are crazy. Theweeks are crazy, So what kind of
does end up being a lot?I hate my excuses because I hate when
people give excuses, and here Iam doing that exactly. How many times

(01:07:31):
you tell yourself what you must doand then leave it at that? But
what if you were to actually followthrough on your own good advice? I
love that. Think about it foryourself. What have you been telling yourself
you ought to do? Today's opportunityto make it happen a for real Thank
you so much for hanging out withme this hour. You mean so much
to me. I am so thankfulthat we get to spend this time together.

(01:07:56):
I'm just I sometimes have to takea step back and think of the
life that I have because of you. I be complaining about oh, airport
this, or oh I'm overtired,or oh this is that, but it's
like none of this would even behappening if it wasn't for you constantly supporting
me, leaving a comment, listening, tuning in whenever you can, just
like even giving me energy. Ifyou don't do any of that above,

(01:08:18):
just the fact that you hang outwith me and spend time with me,
that's so so much. And weall go through so many things, like
we all have family members that aren'thealthy as they should be, or you
feel like you want to do morebut you can't, or you maybe like
miss your family a lot like Ido, even if you see them a
lot, you maybe not as muchas you want to. But the fact

(01:08:40):
that you decide to spend time withme, You'll never know how much that
means to me, Like I sometimescan't even believe we've been hanging out over
six hundred episodes. Now, Ilove you so so so much. I'm
praying for everything good that you wantyou're going to get and you deserve that
and more so, just know thatwhenever you see me praying or giving positive

(01:09:01):
energy or whatever, like I'm prayingfor you, like you deserve everything you
want and more. You deserve allthe happiness. You deserve all the joy.
Speak it out into existence, speakthe joy for yourself. You have
control of your brain and how youcan outlook on things, And I just

(01:09:21):
love you very very very very much. Thank you so so much for hanging
out with me for another episode ofCrystal's night Cap. You know where to
find me on Everything. I'm atlat Crystal A little says, hope you
had a great Holo weekend. Hopeyou've had a great few weeks, and
yes, I will see you onthe next one. Hu