November 4, 2025 • 30 mins
“Driven to help his fellow veterans conquer addiction, Joe Yurick, Creator of This Sober Vet Podcast, shares stories of those who fought for our freedom and now fight for their own recovery.” www.thissobervet.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Sylvia Moss and this is Insight, a presentation
of iHeartMedia where we really do care about our local
communities and all our listeners who live here. This coming Tuesday,
November eleventh is Veterans Day, a day set aside to
honor the brave men and women who observed in our
armed forces. So every November eleventh we celebrate our veterans
by flying flags, giving speeches, and marching in parades. All
(00:24):
this is very nice and done with truly sincere intentions.
For military families who've lost loved once to war, they'll
tell you that no ceremony, no tribute, no words are
ever going to be enough. We can never begin to
express our gratitude to those who have gave their lives
or serve for our freedom. And for those who return home, well,
(00:46):
the end of a conflict doesn't erase the memories of
what they endured, the decisions they had to make, or
the trauma the trauma that they witness on the battlefield.
Coming home may mark the end of one chapter, but
it often begins another that's filled with an unseen battle.
Known as alcoholism binge drinking or consuming a lot of
alcohol in a short time is it's one of the
(01:08):
more common issues that our veterans face. Veterans may also
suffer from other substance abuses. In response to mental health disorders.
They take drugs to cope with pain. Also, they have
a problem a lot of times readjustment to civilian life.
Substance use has been linked to trauma, homelessness, mental health disorders,
(01:29):
physical health disorders and the bad one increase risk of suicide.
So how do we show our appreciations still support these
veterans well, glad to ask, first of all by educating
ourselves about the issues that vest space and understanding that
these issues don't exist in isolation. They are interconnected. And
(01:50):
that's why national holiday or not. I'm always looking for
resources that are going to help support our vets with
the hope that my listeners are going to pass this
information onto other vets and their families. Today, i'd like
to begin this program. It's a two part show. I
want to introduce you to somebody who I consider a
really remarkable hero. He has a story that's both harrowing
(02:11):
and inspiring. His name is joe Yorick. He's endured the
brutal realities of war and He's faced a difficult transition
from military service to civilian life while on that path that.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Was shadowed by the grip of alcohol.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Joe says that his battle's fighting alcohol, extending far beyond
the battlefield. Now, this sober vet's mission is to help
other veterans find the strength to win their own battles
with alcohol and drugs. And just wait till you see
what he's up to, Joe before anything. Honest, Scott, thank you,
thank you. And I think people will understand why I'm
thanking you so much when they hear all about your service.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But thank you. I want to start with you.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
When you were a kid, you told me he grew
up in a small town about an hour from here,
right where they still only have one red light. Well,
I can relate to that. I grew up in the
Goal reason, right. A lot of people have tell us
about high school when you graduated, where you went to
high school, and that was like what twenty five years ago?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
It was? Yeah, I was a class of two thousand
and I went to October in a little town called Aklan,
although I was raising Cocherville, which was just a couple
of miles down the road, and my senior year. Honestly,
I had no direction. I was a class clown. I
viewed every classroom as an audience.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh I think I love you, Joe.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It got to the point that it got to the
point where I had my own desk in the in
school suspension room. I was on academic probation for my
senior prom. Didn't get to go to that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
You just didn't give a crap.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I was having fun. I didn't have any boundaries. That
wasn't necessarily bad, like in in fights or anything. I
just wanted to shut my mouth, and to me, the
teacher was always the butt end of my jokes. They
didn't appreciate that. It got to the point where when
we would have a substitute and they were doing roll call,
they would get Joseph, your joe Yorick like they were legend. Yeah,
(03:56):
they were briefed about me, which I was proud of
at the time. It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well what made you?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
What gave you the direction to want to go into
the army? Why are the army?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
That's a great question. So my best friend at the
time approached me around December of our senior year and
he was like, Hey, what are we doing when we graduate,
and I was like, oh no, I was only worried
about today, and he was like, listen. I was talking
to an Army recruiter. He said we could join in
something called the Buddy Program where we could go to
boot camp together and our first duty station together. So
I was like okay. I was like, let's do it.
(04:27):
I got your back. So we joined in something called
the Delayed Entry Program, which was halfway through our senior year,
but we weren't leaving until August sixteenth, a couple of
weeks after we graduated. Well, we graduated, and for graduation
I had to sign a piece of paper before walking
the stage promising I wouldn't act up in order to
get my deployment.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's so funny. Oh my gosh, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Yeah. So, two weeks before we go to leave, I
get a call from my buddy and he says, hey,
I'm not going. Oh no, so what do you mean
You're not going? Like this? This was your idea? So yeah,
he got a lawyer, he backed out, he did not go.
So I was like, so, being a man of my word,
I still went in. It really wasn't my plan. I
was doing it because he was my best friend. So yeah,
(05:10):
I went in August of two thousand. I did my
boot camp at Fort Sill Inwton, Oklahoma, and then I
did my AIT, which is Advanced Individual Training. It's where
you learn your job, which mine was. I worked with
the Patriot Missile System in the Air Defense Artillery, so
I learned that at Fort Bliss and all Passive Texas.
And it's funny because all through high school, like I said,
(05:30):
I never really applied myself because I was just having fun.
My dad was always like, you're so intelligent, like just
use that. So my idea was in aiit. I was
going to prove my dad that I was dumb by
actually trying and not doing well. So I really focused.
I did everything I could, I know, graduating as the
honor grad. So I was like, holy crap. My dad was.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Right like, you didn't know how smart you.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I didn't know how smart I was because I never
applied myself.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wow, that's something.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Well, I want to talk a little bit about how
the alcohol played a big party in your life.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Well, you when you were telling me about how it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Was like high school. After high school, I can relate
to that. I mean up in the coal regions that
I mean it was party time, you go out the
mountains or you but you weren't a heavy drinker.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
You're just a kid boozing with the rest of the kids.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I don't want to say just because I don't want
to encourage that, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah, yeah, it was more social stuff, like we would
have keggers out in the middle of Cornfield. I was
actually kind of the cool kid my senior year because
my brother in law would get us alcohol. So on
Friday during school I would ask all ry, what does
everybody want? I would get a grocery list and money.
So Friday after school I would drive to my brother
in laws. He would grab everything and we'd pay him
(06:38):
like fifty bucks for the service bringing it back to me.
I would bring it to the party and boom, here
we are. I'm going to connect.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
God God, that's oh my god. Wonder what the what
do they call that? The how far back can go
to to have somebody arrested? You better hope that your
town cop and maybe.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
What I haven't said any names were good?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Okay, So you're cool.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Okay, So when you were station in close to the
border of mix or was it in Mexico.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
So yeah, it was in all top that, Yeah it was.
It was called four Bliss and All Passive Texas. It's
in the western tip of Texas and we're literally miles
away from Warez, Mexico, which is super dangerous cartel like,
very bad. But you only had to be eighteen to
drink there. So when I was stationed there, they made
the drink and age on Post eighteen because as an
American soldier you're not allowed to leave the country, which
(07:26):
we would. Again, I think I'm past the time I
could get in trouble, but in between papers, when we
were broke, we would go down to Warez because there's
this bar called Tequila Derby those ten dollars drink and drowned,
and when you're poor, you get there at eight o'clock.
You're drinking til it closes at two off ten bucks.
That it was amazing. So but yeah, that that's a
whole nother story. So anyway, they made the drinking page
(07:47):
drinking age on Post eighteen to keep soldier stateside. So
now here I am eighteen years old, surrounded by all
these alpha males and females, no parental supervision. We're in
the barracks, which is like our barrier was crazy. It
was building twenty four to seventy nine. I'll never forget it.
There were rules, but during the weekends, like we kind
of did our own thing and just alcohol fueled everything.
(08:09):
And at the time it was like the funniest I've
ever had in my life. I loved my relationship with alcohol.
I loved how we would just party and like it
was nuts. We would do everything from like every here
of Edward forty Hands. Yeah, okay, so we would play
Edward forty Hands. We would beer bong, we would do anything.
I ended up getting an Article fifteen, which is like
(08:30):
getting in trouble in the military for being drunk on
duty because we were about to have an influx of soldiers.
So on Friday, First Arm was like, hey, any of
you E four and blow, which are like the lower enlisted.
If you don't have a roommate, get a roommate. If not,
I'm giving you one on Monday. So me and my
buddy looked at each other, We're like, hey, you want
to bunk up. We're like yeah, sure. So all weekend
we kind of pimped our room out, made it look good,
(08:52):
like moved in together. And then on Sunday at like
eighteen hundred, which is six pm, he was like, Hey,
I'm all run down to the Class six, which is
liquor story because we got a Chris in the room.
You gotta do it right. I was like, all right,
thinking that we have pet in the morning, it's not
gonna be anything crazy. He comes back with a bottle
of one fifty one and a two liters of coke
and I'm like, oh my god, what are you doing.
(09:14):
He's like, hear me out. We're going to make one
mixed drink and then every fifteen minutes we're going to
take a shot until his bottle's day.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You could have died.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I could totally could have died. But being a dumb
young private, I was like, challenge accepted.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, I'm think about listen to these stories. Your
poor mom. Oh yeah, she didn't know any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well she would know because late at night I would
call her a slurn. Oh my god, you know the
drunk island.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh I know.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, my son wasn't in the military, but when he
went to college in Missouri, and I can remember him
calling home and I'd say, Josh, where are you and
then I could hear his buddies in the back.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Where's over, you know?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
And I said, Josh, where are you? He said, that's
what I called you. I thought you could tell me.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
So a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
His son is now in college, and I said, oh god,
we were talking about alcohol and everything and else. I said,
I worry about Joshy and he said, Mom, I was
a blankety blank. I was very irresponsible. He's not like that.
And I thought, I worried about you. I cannot worry
about him. I just I'm at my age ro I
don't worry about anybody anymore. But I know I'm a
(10:18):
mom more than anything. I'm a mom, and I think, God,
bless your mother. She Oh God, can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
I'll definitely put her through some things?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah? I know, But anyway, what are we going to do?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, you went through all that, so you can pretty
much say that you it was you were gearing up
for a disease.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
At the time. Yeah, at the time, I didn't know it,
but it was definitely setting me up for failure later.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Can't because you weren't smart enough to know it?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Joe, Nah, No, Because I mean, if you think about
it back then. Any anything that happened, good, bad and different,
we drank. If we were happy, we celebrated. If a
battle buddy passed away, we drank. We will pour one out,
leave a shout out for him. Whatever. And then like
coming back when we got deployed and we came back,
as soon as we came back, we made sure we
went right to the class state like it was a celebration.
(11:05):
Talk about a party. When we come back from deployment.
That was crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Well, you nine to eleven happened and you were sent overseas,
tell us about that or worried?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
What did you show?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
So, first of all, I remember nine to eleven because
we had a battalion five K that day and we
had just got back. We were sitting in the chow
hall and the first tower was already hit and while
we were eating, the second tower got hit. And that's
when we knew this was not an accident.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So, yeah, when you were white, you were in nineteen
then twenty, you were either.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Way, you were a kid.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah I was a kid. I was either eighteen or nineteen, okay, okay,
So then yeah, the post was locked down. We ended
up railrooading all of our equipment. It went on trains
down to Corpus Crispy, Texas, and then it went on
a boat over the Doha Guitar which was Central Command,
and then we flew and met our equipment in Doha,
(11:59):
and then we initially set up in the northern tip
of cutter in a place called Roslafan because we were
the air defense artillery, so any incoming scuds or missiles
or planes that were bad, we would shoot them out
of the sky. So that's why we were set up there.
And then during this time Third id was moving in
on Baghdad and as they were getting closer, the air
(12:22):
thread was kind of diminishing. So then we loaded our equipment,
went up the Gulf and then we emplaced right outside
of Kwait City. And then by this time Third Idea
had taken over Baghdad, so the air thread was pretty
much done. So then we were able to send our
equipment back home and then we stayed in country just
to do details and work with other units there. And
(12:43):
have you ever heard of stop loss? Yes, so I
was stop Loss. I originally joined signed off for three years.
That my ETS day today, I was supposed to get out.
I think we had just gone to Kuwait City and
needs of the government. They held my whole mos in
for I think like an additional ten or eleven months.
And it was crazy because I had college lined up.
I was all ready to get out and then boom,
(13:05):
you get deployed and they're like, no needs of the government.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Oh, what were you gonna go to school for.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I was gonna go to school for criminal justice in Pennsylvania,
Harkham College.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay, So I don't know how to ask you this.
I'd be ready to grab my pants. I just I would.
I don't have the I don't how can I say this.
I wouldn't have been in the military because I'm a sissy.
Maybe I'm scared. I like taking care of everybody else,
but I'd be the one to blow everybody up.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't know. But were you scared?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
There are times? Yeah, And if anyone tells you they're not,
that might be an ego thing, But yeah, there's times
that we're scared because if you think about it, like
in my position, if there's an incoming scud, we're relying
on our patriot missile to take off and knock that
out of the sky. If it doesn't, that missile could
come in and just wipe us all out. So our
faith is totally in this eighteen foot long rocket, you know, thank.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
God, And you never know, you really never anything didn't
go wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
We could do everything right and something with that.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Missile, right God, So how long were we over there?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
We were over there? I believe it was like just
over six months.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, okay, that must have been awful.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Well, let me ask you that were you drinking at
that time when you're in the military.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Before and after? We weren't drinking while we reseas. Number One,
we couldn't get any We we did have some of
our cooks try to ferment stuff down range, but that
tasted like crap. That was not worth drinking.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
That crazy person will never go Okay, when you left there,
it had a change out. And to see that, my god,
my god. Plus I'm sure you see other people who
were blown away.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You know, how did it change? What do you think
was the biggest thing about that?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I would say in a couple of ways. Number One,
the awareness when you're in a country where people want
to see you dead, there's like a different level of awareness,
And I think that's what of causes PTSD because even
when you comes home state side, there's that I don't
think that goes away. You're kind of always on the defense.
You're always scanning, worried about stuff. I think that dealing
(15:12):
with loss, especially with people that are young, is a
very difficult pill to swallow because there's just it just
creates a lot of questions like why then why not me?
Like why would someone have to leave this earth so young?
And who were really doing this for it? Like it
just there's a lot of confusion.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Sure you wonder what the heck am I doing here?
This is not right?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, yeah, oh my god. Well here's what I'm focusing on.
The alcohol, because that's what I don't want to say,
that's what turn turned you around, because you're always a
great guy. But it was like, how did you see
it at that point? Like when you were you saw
all that war, you had been through all that stuff,
did you still think, oh god, I need a barrick.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And don Yeah, beer was always my goal, like I
gotta get through this and then today I'll have a beer.
I have a shot. And I kind of liken it
to you. Ever hear the Homer Simpson quote where alcohol
is the cause of end solution to all of life's problems. No,
so accurate, you know, because like, yeah, no matter what,
(16:14):
like I said earlier, when you're happy, you're sad, anything,
we always reverted back to alcohol because in the culture
of the military, it was accepted.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
That's what I was going to ask you. I think
I read words not just accepted.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
It's kind of.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Encouraging, it's celebrated. Every post has bars, officers clubs places
you could go to drink, because like, we're not allowed
to do anything else.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
What's the thinking behind that?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
What's the I think, because like I mean, we're not
for you, but.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
For the military to make it so.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Exsistible because soldiers are we're trained to see things that
people aren't supposed to be able to see. And if
you can't do something to numb it or at least
kind of make it acceptable, then why are we here?
You know, Like that's a and.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It builds a camaraderie.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It totally builds a camaraderie. When you're you have your
drinking buddies and then you could you do anything with them.
And the military is unique in the sense that like
you live together, you work together, you play together, you
sleep together, you do everything together, and it really forms
a family. Like these people may have different last names
in our different nationalities, but we all bleed green. When
you're in we all have each other's back. And what
(17:15):
you were asking about earlier is saying that you were
assisting you would be scared. Even though you get scared,
you put the needs of the person to your right
and left above your own, and that's why you kind
of remain strong for them. You don't do it for yourself.
It's like the role of mother exactly. So I think
you would have been great over there. Story Did you
put that on me?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
He comes that lady, get out of your way. Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So here's one thing that I don't think we talk
about in general on programs like mine. When you go
to them, you go to war, you're gone for a while,
you see the most horrible, horrible things anybody can see,
and you come back home and the family expects that
same person coming back that left and that's impossible.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So there are issues that the.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Veteran deals with, and then there are issues that the
family deals with. But I don't think there are there's
some help out there for families, But I think before.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I think it may maybe they do this, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
It might be a good idea, and what like, say,
I'm married and my husband's going overseas. There should be
something to tell me what I could possibly expect. But
yours when you came home, it was party time again,
right Yo? So you came home and at any point
I remember what was going on one of the wars
(18:38):
years ago, and I know, like I told you, and
I mentioned on this program before about my poor dad.
I said, Daddy, he was probably seventy then, And I said,
would you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Go back to where he goes? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And I'm thinking, what are you freaking nuts? No, seriously,
that's how you got Why are you guys like that?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I mean, would you go back?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I wouldn't change a thing. It's because like, as scary
as it is, I mean, you're there's no no greater
gift than it laid down your life for your brother
or sister, like and to put yourself in a situation
where you can fight for a country you love and
you were raised in like that, that's just I mean,
we make one one percent of the population or active
(19:22):
duty and veterans, so there's not many of us so
the few, we're very proud people because we took the oath.
Anyone that is serving at any time can it can
be expired doing this job, and it gives you a
certain level of pride to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, I think it's remarkable. It's remarkable.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Well, what I was going to talk about was you
came home and you go out the guys.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Again and there she is, Katie tell us about that.
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yeah. So actually one of my buddies who I deployed with,
he was one of our NBC guys. He moved up
with me for a couple of months after we got out,
and we had going to this local club near where
I grew up, just like looking for a good time,
not a long time. And yeah, I walked in and
I always scanned to see what my target is and
(20:11):
there's this girl on the dance floor and she is
just lighting the dance floor up, like her level of
confidence is through the roof. And I'm like, damn, look
at her. And she was with someone. So I looked
at my buddy and I was like, I got DIBs
on her, and he was like, okay, so you guys
are funny. So I had ordered. They were having like
a special picture, so I went up to the bar.
I ordered a picture, and while I'm waiting for the drink,
(20:32):
the song ended. She went to her table, grabbed a drink,
and then the night Soon came on here, Oh I
love this song, and they ran back out there. In
the meantime, I got a picture and the bartender was like, hey,
you can't have a picture here, you need to go
to a table, and most of the tables were full,
but I was like, I know what table we're going to.
So I went straight over to her table and literally
before I could put the picture down, boom, She's right there.
(20:53):
What are you doing? I was like, oh, like I
almost spilled the picture. I was like nothing. She was like,
are you trying to roof your drinks? I was like,
what are you talking about? Rufie Like I don't even
know where to get Rufie is And I was offended.
I was like, I have game. I don't need drugs
to get you. And she was like, well a month
ago someone Rufie my cousin here and I'm like, well,
well that's not me. So I immediately just started making her laugh.
We had such a great night, did really good conversation.
(21:15):
The end of that night, I ended up getting her
phone number and to call her out. I literally pulled
my phone out and called it right there. I want
to make sure she wont like giving me a fake number,
which she's like. I found this out years later. She
always would give her a fake number. She would like
never give her real number. Luckily she did give it
to me because like, we had this real connection. So yeah,
and how long did.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You were you? Did you date where you got married?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Uh? We dated for two years and in that time
we had moved in together, we had we kind of
had a premate family. So my oldest son is not
biologically mine. He was three when I met him. Uh,
but we got along great, like to the point where
my wife a couple of times during our dating phase
were like, uh, are you here to see my son
(21:59):
or you're here to date me? Because we would go
on these adventures. We had such a good connection and
I kind of like was having more fun with him
than her, so but she reeled me back in and yeah,
we got a house together, and then next thing was marriage.
The next thing was we had my youngest son, and
like I love her. Yeah, she's amazing.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I mean you radiate and that I'm seriously but okay,
so you're still losing their Joseph.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Right, well, absolutely and live without it.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
A couple of different times she'd say what.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So there were times where she was like, we need
to dial this back because I would get way too drunk.
I would blackout, I would do something stupid. So she
was like she wanted to work with me, which was
very like nice and loving on her end. So she
would say, why don't we just say, all right, three beers.
You just kind of had three beers and then that's it, Okay,
whatever you want. But the addiction to me would not
(22:51):
allow that. So then what I would do in those
circumstances is I would get a fifth of Southern Comfort.
I would hide it somewhere, like if I knew I
was barbecuing that night, it would be under the barbecue
where you couldn't see it. If I was doing laundry
that night, it would be downstairs in between the washer
and dry or whatever. So in front of her, yes,
I'm drinking three beers, I'm following the rules, but my
(23:11):
addiction is like, screw that, you were kidding yourself. Yeah, exactly,
I'm down there thrown back shots, and so at what.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Point did she finally like how long did it take
their saint get the hell out?
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So that was a long time. Actually, that was a
total of like fourteen years in the relationship because it,
like looking at it now from her eyes, is tough
because she loved me. Her and I got along and
get along so well. When I'm sober. She was just
dealing with drunk Joe, like usually on the weekends, because
(23:44):
we did dial it back to just the weekends, and
like if the Eagles played a Monday night, then I
could drink during the game, but mainly it was just
a weekend. So in her mind she was like, hey, well,
at least I get to spend five days with the
love of my life and these two and a half
days and I'll just deal with it. But that got
to a point where like I was making bad decisions
because as you know, the thing with alcohol is like
(24:06):
there's three phases that I've noticed is it starts with fun,
that it's fun with problems, and then it's just problems.
And the problem with the problem stage is when you're
the addict, you don't realize you're in the problem stage
because you're still having fun. You're just drinking more because
your tolerance is more, and you're just getting ballsier doing
(24:26):
things that don't make sense, like drinking and driving.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Just well, you knew Katie didn't like it, and you
knew things were like that were going on. You knew
you're drinking more and more booze. At any point, did
you think, to yourself, holy crap, she's right, I gotta
do something.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Did you admit it to yourself that you something was
going on?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I would. I knew there was a problem, But when
you're when you're an addic, you're you rely more on
your ego than just your brain. And even though I
knew what I was doing was wrong, and on days
when I wasn't drinking, I'm like, man, I really need
to cut back, But then something would happen and and
I would start drinking again. And once you start like that,
(25:04):
I just can't stop. That's my issue is I could
never just have two beers and stop because I love
the buzz and I wanted to see how far I
could maintain that buzz before I had to throw up
or pass out.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Well, you know that, I always wondered I'm not a
beer drinker. I very seldom drink. I'm boring, but I
always wonder how guys could drink beer after beer after beer.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Because you just get in the zone and you're like,
this is what it is all about that you want
to elongate that buzz.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, that's challenging yourself with alcohol.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Well, you remember Popeye what happens with him when he
would take a spinach. That's how I felt when I
was drinking. So I would want that to continue hours
as long as I could.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well it finally came to a point where she said
she found all your stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Right, you hit it and she found it. What happened?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
So this evening I had gone to a networking event
because I'm a business owner, and I drank way too
much there and I came home when I passed out
on the couch, it was like five o'clock. So she
was like, We've had this talk a million times the
day after, so she knew she needed to find evidence
in order to really bring this one home. So as
I was passed out, she combed the whole house, found
(26:13):
my stash of empties, Southern comfort bottles, laid them all
on the table like the end table next to the sofa,
took a picture of me passed out with all the empties,
so that way I couldn't say what are you talking about?
Like she had physical evidence. So the next day she
had me come out on the porch. She showed me
the picture and she said you need to leave. And
(26:34):
I was like what, Like, whoa wea this? I paid
the more years my house. What do you mean I
need to leave? She's like, me and the kids have
done nothing wrong. You are constantly crossing the line. I've
told you this and like here all your empties. You're
drinking behind my back. I've had enough. I love you,
but this has to stop. You either stop drinking or
you gotta go. And I'm like what, I've run my business.
(26:56):
I'm like, where am I going to go? What do
you mean I have to go? Because usually she would
threaten me and the kids are leaving, you know, and
she never would, but by her saying I had to leave,
it scared the crap out of me for a couple
of reasons. Again, business owner ran my business out there,
didn't know where I was going to go. And here's
the woman who like literally is the love of my life.
I gave her my last name. We built this awesome
(27:18):
foundation together with our kids. Like she literally is my everything,
and she's to the point where she's willing to let
me go because she loved well because I'm choosing to
put something to my lips. So I'm like, this is
the sign. Because previously I've asked God for a sign.
I'm like, I need a sign to stop, and I
would always like, yeah, that wasn't a sign, and keep drinking.
(27:40):
This was, in my face, black and white, the sign.
So I had to make a decision. And I'm a
child of divorce. And when we got married, I told
my wife. I was like, I don't want our kids
to go through that because I know what that life
is like. So no matter what life throws us, we
need to work through. And she agreed that the kids
saw you, the kids saw me. Yeah. So but this
(28:01):
was the time where I can I can turn around
and I could change. So I literally chose her. I said,
all right, I'm done drinking. That day, I quit cold turkey,
which in hindsight is super dangerous because the level I
was drinking I could have died from just stopping like that.
So I don't write if you're out there listening and
you're currently in that state of drinking every day, do
(28:23):
it under medical supervision when you're trying to quit. Don't
go cold turkey. Wean it all. Yeah, because, like I said,
that could have ended badly. Luckily I was fine. But yeah,
I quit that day. That was three and a half
years ago. And one thing I did was I was like,
all right, why don't I quit for six months? Because
when you're actively using to quit, forever is unobtainable. That
(28:45):
is like a goal that you could never touch. So
by quitting for six months, I mean I deployed for
six months. I could do anything for six months, you know,
I could kind of suck it up and make it work.
And it was interesting because quitting alcohol was the hardest
thing I've ever done. It was also the most rewarding
thing I've ever done. Now, it's the hardest in the
sense that after I quit, I literally felt naked to
(29:08):
the world. I felt like my armor was removed from me.
The thing that I was using to shield myself from
the world I had lost. So now I felt like
I was unplugged from the matrix. And it kind of
got worse before it got better.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
My god, that's something. Well, I'll tell you about you.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I think we're gonna end part one of your show
right now, but boy boy, I encourage my listeners wait
till you hear It's like, tune in and see what
happens to Joe. How Joe did turn around? And it's
it's gonna be on more an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
This he's called the Sober Vet.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
It's all about his sobriety and his inspiring mission to
make sober living a celebrated norm for all bets.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
So we're gonna talk to him a part two.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Remember insights on every weekend on all of our can
my Heart stations. Encourage your friends to listen to this
and the next week I'm selling Moss, thanks so much
for listening.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
To see you next week.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
M HM
Hi, I'm Sylvia Moss and this is Insight, a presentation
of iHeartMedia where we really do care about our local
communities and all our listeners who live here. This coming Tuesday,
November eleventh is Veterans Day, a day set aside to
honor the brave men and women who observed in our
armed forces. So every November eleventh we celebrate our veterans
by flying flags, giving speeches, and marching in parades. All
(00:24):
this is very nice and done with truly sincere intentions.
For military families who've lost loved once to war, they'll
tell you that no ceremony, no tribute, no words are
ever going to be enough. We can never begin to
express our gratitude to those who have gave their lives
or serve for our freedom. And for those who return home, well,
(00:46):
the end of a conflict doesn't erase the memories of
what they endured, the decisions they had to make, or
the trauma the trauma that they witness on the battlefield.
Coming home may mark the end of one chapter, but
it often begins another that's filled with an unseen battle.
Known as alcoholism binge drinking or consuming a lot of
alcohol in a short time is it's one of the
(01:08):
more common issues that our veterans face. Veterans may also
suffer from other substance abuses. In response to mental health disorders.
They take drugs to cope with pain. Also, they have
a problem a lot of times readjustment to civilian life.
Substance use has been linked to trauma, homelessness, mental health disorders,
(01:29):
physical health disorders and the bad one increase risk of suicide.
So how do we show our appreciations still support these
veterans well, glad to ask, first of all by educating
ourselves about the issues that vest space and understanding that
these issues don't exist in isolation. They are interconnected. And
(01:50):
that's why national holiday or not. I'm always looking for
resources that are going to help support our vets with
the hope that my listeners are going to pass this
information onto other vets and their families. Today, i'd like
to begin this program. It's a two part show. I
want to introduce you to somebody who I consider a
really remarkable hero. He has a story that's both harrowing
(02:11):
and inspiring. His name is joe Yorick. He's endured the
brutal realities of war and He's faced a difficult transition
from military service to civilian life while on that path that.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Was shadowed by the grip of alcohol.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Joe says that his battle's fighting alcohol, extending far beyond
the battlefield. Now, this sober vet's mission is to help
other veterans find the strength to win their own battles
with alcohol and drugs. And just wait till you see
what he's up to, Joe before anything. Honest, Scott, thank you,
thank you. And I think people will understand why I'm
thanking you so much when they hear all about your service.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But thank you. I want to start with you.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
When you were a kid, you told me he grew
up in a small town about an hour from here,
right where they still only have one red light. Well,
I can relate to that. I grew up in the
Goal reason, right. A lot of people have tell us
about high school when you graduated, where you went to
high school, and that was like what twenty five years ago?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
It was? Yeah, I was a class of two thousand
and I went to October in a little town called Aklan,
although I was raising Cocherville, which was just a couple
of miles down the road, and my senior year. Honestly,
I had no direction. I was a class clown. I
viewed every classroom as an audience.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh I think I love you, Joe.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It got to the point that it got to the
point where I had my own desk in the in
school suspension room. I was on academic probation for my
senior prom. Didn't get to go to that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
You just didn't give a crap.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I was having fun. I didn't have any boundaries. That
wasn't necessarily bad, like in in fights or anything. I
just wanted to shut my mouth, and to me, the
teacher was always the butt end of my jokes. They
didn't appreciate that. It got to the point where when
we would have a substitute and they were doing roll call,
they would get Joseph, your joe Yorick like they were legend. Yeah,
(03:56):
they were briefed about me, which I was proud of
at the time. It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well what made you?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
What gave you the direction to want to go into
the army? Why are the army?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
That's a great question. So my best friend at the
time approached me around December of our senior year and
he was like, Hey, what are we doing when we graduate,
and I was like, oh no, I was only worried
about today, and he was like, listen. I was talking
to an Army recruiter. He said we could join in
something called the Buddy Program where we could go to
boot camp together and our first duty station together. So
I was like okay. I was like, let's do it.
(04:27):
I got your back. So we joined in something called
the Delayed Entry Program, which was halfway through our senior year,
but we weren't leaving until August sixteenth, a couple of
weeks after we graduated. Well, we graduated, and for graduation
I had to sign a piece of paper before walking
the stage promising I wouldn't act up in order to
get my deployment.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's so funny. Oh my gosh, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Yeah. So, two weeks before we go to leave, I
get a call from my buddy and he says, hey,
I'm not going. Oh no, so what do you mean
You're not going? Like this? This was your idea? So yeah,
he got a lawyer, he backed out, he did not go.
So I was like, so, being a man of my word,
I still went in. It really wasn't my plan. I
was doing it because he was my best friend. So yeah,
(05:10):
I went in August of two thousand. I did my
boot camp at Fort Sill Inwton, Oklahoma, and then I
did my AIT, which is Advanced Individual Training. It's where
you learn your job, which mine was. I worked with
the Patriot Missile System in the Air Defense Artillery, so
I learned that at Fort Bliss and all Passive Texas.
And it's funny because all through high school, like I said,
(05:30):
I never really applied myself because I was just having fun.
My dad was always like, you're so intelligent, like just
use that. So my idea was in aiit. I was
going to prove my dad that I was dumb by
actually trying and not doing well. So I really focused.
I did everything I could, I know, graduating as the
honor grad. So I was like, holy crap. My dad was.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Right like, you didn't know how smart you.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I didn't know how smart I was because I never
applied myself.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wow, that's something.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Well, I want to talk a little bit about how
the alcohol played a big party in your life.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Well, you when you were telling me about how it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Was like high school. After high school, I can relate
to that. I mean up in the coal regions that
I mean it was party time, you go out the
mountains or you but you weren't a heavy drinker.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
You're just a kid boozing with the rest of the kids.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I don't want to say just because I don't want
to encourage that, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah, yeah, it was more social stuff, like we would
have keggers out in the middle of Cornfield. I was
actually kind of the cool kid my senior year because
my brother in law would get us alcohol. So on
Friday during school I would ask all ry, what does
everybody want? I would get a grocery list and money.
So Friday after school I would drive to my brother
in laws. He would grab everything and we'd pay him
(06:38):
like fifty bucks for the service bringing it back to me.
I would bring it to the party and boom, here
we are. I'm going to connect.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
God God, that's oh my god. Wonder what the what
do they call that? The how far back can go
to to have somebody arrested? You better hope that your
town cop and maybe.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
What I haven't said any names were good?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Okay, So you're cool.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Okay, So when you were station in close to the
border of mix or was it in Mexico.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
So yeah, it was in all top that, Yeah it was.
It was called four Bliss and All Passive Texas. It's
in the western tip of Texas and we're literally miles
away from Warez, Mexico, which is super dangerous cartel like,
very bad. But you only had to be eighteen to
drink there. So when I was stationed there, they made
the drink and age on Post eighteen because as an
American soldier you're not allowed to leave the country, which
(07:26):
we would. Again, I think I'm past the time I
could get in trouble, but in between papers, when we
were broke, we would go down to Warez because there's
this bar called Tequila Derby those ten dollars drink and drowned,
and when you're poor, you get there at eight o'clock.
You're drinking til it closes at two off ten bucks.
That it was amazing. So but yeah, that that's a
whole nother story. So anyway, they made the drinking page
(07:47):
drinking age on Post eighteen to keep soldier stateside. So
now here I am eighteen years old, surrounded by all
these alpha males and females, no parental supervision. We're in
the barracks, which is like our barrier was crazy. It
was building twenty four to seventy nine. I'll never forget it.
There were rules, but during the weekends, like we kind
of did our own thing and just alcohol fueled everything.
(08:09):
And at the time it was like the funniest I've
ever had in my life. I loved my relationship with alcohol.
I loved how we would just party and like it
was nuts. We would do everything from like every here
of Edward forty Hands. Yeah, okay, so we would play
Edward forty Hands. We would beer bong, we would do anything.
I ended up getting an Article fifteen, which is like
(08:30):
getting in trouble in the military for being drunk on
duty because we were about to have an influx of soldiers.
So on Friday, First Arm was like, hey, any of
you E four and blow, which are like the lower enlisted.
If you don't have a roommate, get a roommate. If not,
I'm giving you one on Monday. So me and my
buddy looked at each other, We're like, hey, you want
to bunk up. We're like yeah, sure. So all weekend
we kind of pimped our room out, made it look good,
(08:52):
like moved in together. And then on Sunday at like
eighteen hundred, which is six pm, he was like, Hey,
I'm all run down to the Class six, which is
liquor story because we got a Chris in the room.
You gotta do it right. I was like, all right,
thinking that we have pet in the morning, it's not
gonna be anything crazy. He comes back with a bottle
of one fifty one and a two liters of coke
and I'm like, oh my god, what are you doing.
(09:14):
He's like, hear me out. We're going to make one
mixed drink and then every fifteen minutes we're going to
take a shot until his bottle's day.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You could have died.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I could totally could have died. But being a dumb
young private, I was like, challenge accepted.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, I'm think about listen to these stories. Your
poor mom. Oh yeah, she didn't know any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well she would know because late at night I would
call her a slurn. Oh my god, you know the
drunk island.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh I know.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, my son wasn't in the military, but when he
went to college in Missouri, and I can remember him
calling home and I'd say, Josh, where are you and
then I could hear his buddies in the back.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Where's over, you know?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
And I said, Josh, where are you? He said, that's
what I called you. I thought you could tell me.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
So a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
His son is now in college, and I said, oh god,
we were talking about alcohol and everything and else. I said,
I worry about Joshy and he said, Mom, I was
a blankety blank. I was very irresponsible. He's not like that.
And I thought, I worried about you. I cannot worry
about him. I just I'm at my age ro I
don't worry about anybody anymore. But I know I'm a
(10:18):
mom more than anything. I'm a mom, and I think, God,
bless your mother. She Oh God, can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
I'll definitely put her through some things?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah? I know, But anyway, what are we going to do?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, you went through all that, so you can pretty
much say that you it was you were gearing up
for a disease.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
At the time. Yeah, at the time, I didn't know it,
but it was definitely setting me up for failure later.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Can't because you weren't smart enough to know it?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Joe, Nah, No, Because I mean, if you think about
it back then. Any anything that happened, good, bad and different,
we drank. If we were happy, we celebrated. If a
battle buddy passed away, we drank. We will pour one out,
leave a shout out for him. Whatever. And then like
coming back when we got deployed and we came back,
as soon as we came back, we made sure we
went right to the class state like it was a celebration.
(11:05):
Talk about a party. When we come back from deployment.
That was crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Well, you nine to eleven happened and you were sent overseas,
tell us about that or worried?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
What did you show?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
So, first of all, I remember nine to eleven because
we had a battalion five K that day and we
had just got back. We were sitting in the chow
hall and the first tower was already hit and while
we were eating, the second tower got hit. And that's
when we knew this was not an accident.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So, yeah, when you were white, you were in nineteen
then twenty, you were either.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Way, you were a kid.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah I was a kid. I was either eighteen or nineteen, okay, okay,
So then yeah, the post was locked down. We ended
up railrooading all of our equipment. It went on trains
down to Corpus Crispy, Texas, and then it went on
a boat over the Doha Guitar which was Central Command,
and then we flew and met our equipment in Doha,
(11:59):
and then we initially set up in the northern tip
of cutter in a place called Roslafan because we were
the air defense artillery, so any incoming scuds or missiles
or planes that were bad, we would shoot them out
of the sky. So that's why we were set up there.
And then during this time Third id was moving in
on Baghdad and as they were getting closer, the air
(12:22):
thread was kind of diminishing. So then we loaded our equipment,
went up the Gulf and then we emplaced right outside
of Kwait City. And then by this time Third Idea
had taken over Baghdad, so the air thread was pretty
much done. So then we were able to send our
equipment back home and then we stayed in country just
to do details and work with other units there. And
(12:43):
have you ever heard of stop loss? Yes, so I
was stop Loss. I originally joined signed off for three years.
That my ETS day today, I was supposed to get out.
I think we had just gone to Kuwait City and
needs of the government. They held my whole mos in
for I think like an additional ten or eleven months.
And it was crazy because I had college lined up.
I was all ready to get out and then boom,
(13:05):
you get deployed and they're like, no needs of the government.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Oh, what were you gonna go to school for.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I was gonna go to school for criminal justice in Pennsylvania,
Harkham College.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay, So I don't know how to ask you this.
I'd be ready to grab my pants. I just I would.
I don't have the I don't how can I say this.
I wouldn't have been in the military because I'm a sissy.
Maybe I'm scared. I like taking care of everybody else,
but I'd be the one to blow everybody up.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't know. But were you scared?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
There are times? Yeah, And if anyone tells you they're not,
that might be an ego thing, But yeah, there's times
that we're scared because if you think about it, like
in my position, if there's an incoming scud, we're relying
on our patriot missile to take off and knock that
out of the sky. If it doesn't, that missile could
come in and just wipe us all out. So our
faith is totally in this eighteen foot long rocket, you know, thank.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
God, And you never know, you really never anything didn't
go wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
We could do everything right and something with that.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Missile, right God, So how long were we over there?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
We were over there? I believe it was like just
over six months.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, okay, that must have been awful.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Well, let me ask you that were you drinking at
that time when you're in the military.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Before and after? We weren't drinking while we reseas. Number One,
we couldn't get any We we did have some of
our cooks try to ferment stuff down range, but that
tasted like crap. That was not worth drinking.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
That crazy person will never go Okay, when you left there,
it had a change out. And to see that, my god,
my god. Plus I'm sure you see other people who
were blown away.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You know, how did it change? What do you think
was the biggest thing about that?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I would say in a couple of ways. Number One,
the awareness when you're in a country where people want
to see you dead, there's like a different level of awareness,
And I think that's what of causes PTSD because even
when you comes home state side, there's that I don't
think that goes away. You're kind of always on the defense.
You're always scanning, worried about stuff. I think that dealing
(15:12):
with loss, especially with people that are young, is a
very difficult pill to swallow because there's just it just
creates a lot of questions like why then why not me?
Like why would someone have to leave this earth so young?
And who were really doing this for it? Like it
just there's a lot of confusion.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Sure you wonder what the heck am I doing here?
This is not right?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, yeah, oh my god. Well here's what I'm focusing on.
The alcohol, because that's what I don't want to say,
that's what turn turned you around, because you're always a
great guy. But it was like, how did you see
it at that point? Like when you were you saw
all that war, you had been through all that stuff,
did you still think, oh god, I need a barrick.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And don Yeah, beer was always my goal, like I
gotta get through this and then today I'll have a beer.
I have a shot. And I kind of liken it
to you. Ever hear the Homer Simpson quote where alcohol
is the cause of end solution to all of life's problems. No,
so accurate, you know, because like, yeah, no matter what,
(16:14):
like I said earlier, when you're happy, you're sad, anything,
we always reverted back to alcohol because in the culture
of the military, it was accepted.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
That's what I was going to ask you. I think
I read words not just accepted.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
It's kind of.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Encouraging, it's celebrated. Every post has bars, officers clubs places
you could go to drink, because like, we're not allowed
to do anything else.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
What's the thinking behind that?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
What's the I think, because like I mean, we're not
for you, but.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
For the military to make it so.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Exsistible because soldiers are we're trained to see things that
people aren't supposed to be able to see. And if
you can't do something to numb it or at least
kind of make it acceptable, then why are we here?
You know, Like that's a and.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It builds a camaraderie.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It totally builds a camaraderie. When you're you have your
drinking buddies and then you could you do anything with them.
And the military is unique in the sense that like
you live together, you work together, you play together, you
sleep together, you do everything together, and it really forms
a family. Like these people may have different last names
in our different nationalities, but we all bleed green. When
you're in we all have each other's back. And what
(17:15):
you were asking about earlier is saying that you were
assisting you would be scared. Even though you get scared,
you put the needs of the person to your right
and left above your own, and that's why you kind
of remain strong for them. You don't do it for yourself.
It's like the role of mother exactly. So I think
you would have been great over there. Story Did you
put that on me?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
He comes that lady, get out of your way. Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So here's one thing that I don't think we talk
about in general on programs like mine. When you go
to them, you go to war, you're gone for a while,
you see the most horrible, horrible things anybody can see,
and you come back home and the family expects that
same person coming back that left and that's impossible.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So there are issues that the.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Veteran deals with, and then there are issues that the
family deals with. But I don't think there are there's
some help out there for families, But I think before.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I think it may maybe they do this, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
It might be a good idea, and what like, say,
I'm married and my husband's going overseas. There should be
something to tell me what I could possibly expect. But
yours when you came home, it was party time again,
right Yo? So you came home and at any point
I remember what was going on one of the wars
(18:38):
years ago, and I know, like I told you, and
I mentioned on this program before about my poor dad.
I said, Daddy, he was probably seventy then, And I said,
would you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Go back to where he goes? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And I'm thinking, what are you freaking nuts? No, seriously,
that's how you got Why are you guys like that?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I mean, would you go back?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I wouldn't change a thing. It's because like, as scary
as it is, I mean, you're there's no no greater
gift than it laid down your life for your brother
or sister, like and to put yourself in a situation
where you can fight for a country you love and
you were raised in like that, that's just I mean,
we make one one percent of the population or active
(19:22):
duty and veterans, so there's not many of us so
the few, we're very proud people because we took the oath.
Anyone that is serving at any time can it can
be expired doing this job, and it gives you a
certain level of pride to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, I think it's remarkable. It's remarkable.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Well, what I was going to talk about was you
came home and you go out the guys.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Again and there she is, Katie tell us about that.
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yeah. So actually one of my buddies who I deployed with,
he was one of our NBC guys. He moved up
with me for a couple of months after we got out,
and we had going to this local club near where
I grew up, just like looking for a good time,
not a long time. And yeah, I walked in and
I always scanned to see what my target is and
(20:11):
there's this girl on the dance floor and she is
just lighting the dance floor up, like her level of
confidence is through the roof. And I'm like, damn, look
at her. And she was with someone. So I looked
at my buddy and I was like, I got DIBs
on her, and he was like, okay, so you guys
are funny. So I had ordered. They were having like
a special picture, so I went up to the bar.
I ordered a picture, and while I'm waiting for the drink,
(20:32):
the song ended. She went to her table, grabbed a drink,
and then the night Soon came on here, Oh I
love this song, and they ran back out there. In
the meantime, I got a picture and the bartender was like, hey,
you can't have a picture here, you need to go
to a table, and most of the tables were full,
but I was like, I know what table we're going to.
So I went straight over to her table and literally
before I could put the picture down, boom, She's right there.
(20:53):
What are you doing? I was like, oh, like I
almost spilled the picture. I was like nothing. She was like,
are you trying to roof your drinks? I was like,
what are you talking about? Rufie Like I don't even
know where to get Rufie is And I was offended.
I was like, I have game. I don't need drugs
to get you. And she was like, well a month
ago someone Rufie my cousin here and I'm like, well,
well that's not me. So I immediately just started making her laugh.
We had such a great night, did really good conversation.
(21:15):
The end of that night, I ended up getting her
phone number and to call her out. I literally pulled
my phone out and called it right there. I want
to make sure she wont like giving me a fake number,
which she's like. I found this out years later. She
always would give her a fake number. She would like
never give her real number. Luckily she did give it
to me because like, we had this real connection. So yeah,
and how long did.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You were you? Did you date where you got married?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Uh? We dated for two years and in that time
we had moved in together, we had we kind of
had a premate family. So my oldest son is not
biologically mine. He was three when I met him. Uh,
but we got along great, like to the point where
my wife a couple of times during our dating phase
were like, uh, are you here to see my son
(21:59):
or you're here to date me? Because we would go
on these adventures. We had such a good connection and
I kind of like was having more fun with him
than her, so but she reeled me back in and yeah,
we got a house together, and then next thing was marriage.
The next thing was we had my youngest son, and
like I love her. Yeah, she's amazing.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I mean you radiate and that I'm seriously but okay,
so you're still losing their Joseph.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Right, well, absolutely and live without it.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
A couple of different times she'd say what.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So there were times where she was like, we need
to dial this back because I would get way too drunk.
I would blackout, I would do something stupid. So she
was like she wanted to work with me, which was
very like nice and loving on her end. So she
would say, why don't we just say, all right, three beers.
You just kind of had three beers and then that's it, Okay,
whatever you want. But the addiction to me would not
(22:51):
allow that. So then what I would do in those
circumstances is I would get a fifth of Southern Comfort.
I would hide it somewhere, like if I knew I
was barbecuing that night, it would be under the barbecue
where you couldn't see it. If I was doing laundry
that night, it would be downstairs in between the washer
and dry or whatever. So in front of her, yes,
I'm drinking three beers, I'm following the rules, but my
(23:11):
addiction is like, screw that, you were kidding yourself. Yeah, exactly,
I'm down there thrown back shots, and so at what.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Point did she finally like how long did it take
their saint get the hell out?
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So that was a long time. Actually, that was a
total of like fourteen years in the relationship because it,
like looking at it now from her eyes, is tough
because she loved me. Her and I got along and
get along so well. When I'm sober. She was just
dealing with drunk Joe, like usually on the weekends, because
(23:44):
we did dial it back to just the weekends, and
like if the Eagles played a Monday night, then I
could drink during the game, but mainly it was just
a weekend. So in her mind she was like, hey, well,
at least I get to spend five days with the
love of my life and these two and a half
days and I'll just deal with it. But that got
to a point where like I was making bad decisions
because as you know, the thing with alcohol is like
(24:06):
there's three phases that I've noticed is it starts with fun,
that it's fun with problems, and then it's just problems.
And the problem with the problem stage is when you're
the addict, you don't realize you're in the problem stage
because you're still having fun. You're just drinking more because
your tolerance is more, and you're just getting ballsier doing
(24:26):
things that don't make sense, like drinking and driving.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Just well, you knew Katie didn't like it, and you
knew things were like that were going on. You knew
you're drinking more and more booze. At any point, did
you think, to yourself, holy crap, she's right, I gotta
do something.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Did you admit it to yourself that you something was
going on?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I would. I knew there was a problem, But when
you're when you're an addic, you're you rely more on
your ego than just your brain. And even though I
knew what I was doing was wrong, and on days
when I wasn't drinking, I'm like, man, I really need
to cut back, But then something would happen and and
I would start drinking again. And once you start like that,
(25:04):
I just can't stop. That's my issue is I could
never just have two beers and stop because I love
the buzz and I wanted to see how far I
could maintain that buzz before I had to throw up
or pass out.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Well, you know that, I always wondered I'm not a
beer drinker. I very seldom drink. I'm boring, but I
always wonder how guys could drink beer after beer after beer.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Because you just get in the zone and you're like,
this is what it is all about that you want
to elongate that buzz.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, that's challenging yourself with alcohol.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Well, you remember Popeye what happens with him when he
would take a spinach. That's how I felt when I
was drinking. So I would want that to continue hours
as long as I could.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well it finally came to a point where she said
she found all your stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Right, you hit it and she found it. What happened?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
So this evening I had gone to a networking event
because I'm a business owner, and I drank way too
much there and I came home when I passed out
on the couch, it was like five o'clock. So she
was like, We've had this talk a million times the
day after, so she knew she needed to find evidence
in order to really bring this one home. So as
I was passed out, she combed the whole house, found
(26:13):
my stash of empties, Southern comfort bottles, laid them all
on the table like the end table next to the sofa,
took a picture of me passed out with all the empties,
so that way I couldn't say what are you talking about?
Like she had physical evidence. So the next day she
had me come out on the porch. She showed me
the picture and she said you need to leave. And
(26:34):
I was like what, Like, whoa wea this? I paid
the more years my house. What do you mean I
need to leave? She's like, me and the kids have
done nothing wrong. You are constantly crossing the line. I've
told you this and like here all your empties. You're
drinking behind my back. I've had enough. I love you,
but this has to stop. You either stop drinking or
you gotta go. And I'm like what, I've run my business.
(26:56):
I'm like, where am I going to go? What do
you mean I have to go? Because usually she would
threaten me and the kids are leaving, you know, and
she never would, but by her saying I had to leave,
it scared the crap out of me for a couple
of reasons. Again, business owner ran my business out there,
didn't know where I was going to go. And here's
the woman who like literally is the love of my life.
I gave her my last name. We built this awesome
(27:18):
foundation together with our kids. Like she literally is my everything,
and she's to the point where she's willing to let
me go because she loved well because I'm choosing to
put something to my lips. So I'm like, this is
the sign. Because previously I've asked God for a sign.
I'm like, I need a sign to stop, and I
would always like, yeah, that wasn't a sign, and keep drinking.
(27:40):
This was, in my face, black and white, the sign.
So I had to make a decision. And I'm a
child of divorce. And when we got married, I told
my wife. I was like, I don't want our kids
to go through that because I know what that life
is like. So no matter what life throws us, we
need to work through. And she agreed that the kids
saw you, the kids saw me. Yeah. So but this
(28:01):
was the time where I can I can turn around
and I could change. So I literally chose her. I said,
all right, I'm done drinking. That day, I quit cold turkey,
which in hindsight is super dangerous because the level I
was drinking I could have died from just stopping like that.
So I don't write if you're out there listening and
you're currently in that state of drinking every day, do
(28:23):
it under medical supervision when you're trying to quit. Don't
go cold turkey. Wean it all. Yeah, because, like I said,
that could have ended badly. Luckily I was fine. But yeah,
I quit that day. That was three and a half
years ago. And one thing I did was I was like,
all right, why don't I quit for six months? Because
when you're actively using to quit, forever is unobtainable. That
(28:45):
is like a goal that you could never touch. So
by quitting for six months, I mean I deployed for
six months. I could do anything for six months, you know,
I could kind of suck it up and make it work.
And it was interesting because quitting alcohol was the hardest
thing I've ever done. It was also the most rewarding
thing I've ever done. Now, it's the hardest in the
sense that after I quit, I literally felt naked to
(29:08):
the world. I felt like my armor was removed from me.
The thing that I was using to shield myself from
the world I had lost. So now I felt like
I was unplugged from the matrix. And it kind of
got worse before it got better.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
My god, that's something. Well, I'll tell you about you.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I think we're gonna end part one of your show
right now, but boy boy, I encourage my listeners wait
till you hear It's like, tune in and see what
happens to Joe. How Joe did turn around? And it's
it's gonna be on more an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
This he's called the Sober Vet.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
It's all about his sobriety and his inspiring mission to
make sober living a celebrated norm for all bets.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
So we're gonna talk to him a part two.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Remember insights on every weekend on all of our can
my Heart stations. Encourage your friends to listen to this
and the next week I'm selling Moss, thanks so much
for listening.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
To see you next week.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
M HM
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