Donk the Trainer

➡︎ Jubal Phone Pranks on The Jubal Show
Need someone to feel the wrath of a Jubal Fresh character? He'll call whoever you want and prank them... so hard. It's funny. Submit yours here: https://forms.gle/mgACgtLBP3SPcyRR7

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame ties.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Yeah, it's Donk.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Who is this Donk? I hope you ready to get
started because like I no, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I think you have the wrong number.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
I don't know who this is, Vanessa. Yes, yeah, this
is Donk calling from Fitness. Well, my real name is
Paul Donkler, but my friends call me Donk and you
can call me Donk. But I'm a trainer here and
they just told me that I'm going to be working
with you. So what up?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Okay? Uh? Yeah, I guess sorry I did.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
I didn't really Are you ready to get in some
good sweatology with me?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
I don't really know the memes, but yes, I'm ready
for the sessions I signed up for.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Yeah, so we're gonna get after it, you know what
I mean. And I'm I'm going to make you ninja
sweat like. That's one thing that I really focus on
a lot with my clients is making sure that they
get a ninja sweat in.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
What the hell is a ninja sweat? I've never heard that,
you know.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
It's like a thing I came up with for my
workout routines and the sweatology that I do in the
cardio kinetic department. And what that means is like you're
going to be working Hella hard and Donk is going
to push you until you sweat like a ninja, you know,
because I'm sure like ninja's probably sweat a lot because
they're like moving around and stuff. So but I think

(01:37):
it sounds pretty cool. So we're going to be making
you a ninja sweat. I hope you're ready for that.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Wait, I'm sorry you're Dunk or someone else's Donk that
I'm gonna be working with.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm Donk. Yeah, and I'm excited to like get in
there and crush it with you, and like I just
want to call them. I kind of your fitness levels,
you know, so I know how hard to push and
get that ninja sweat out.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I sess okay, you know, never mind, I think you're
mispronouncing some things and I'm having trouble understanding you.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
How good though, dude, Let's get an asss in real quick, Okay,
Like you know when it comes to cardo, you know
what I mean, Like, would you say your cardio level
is like Samurai or you know, like a ducky?

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Oh my god, No, this is not how you evaluate
someone's fitness, So like, I don't understand what this is,
and so I just want a different personal trainer. So
thank you for the call, but can you make sure
that you swap me out with someone else who works there?

Speaker 3 (02:48):
DONK will make you ninjasweat the other trainers, I can
tell you they don't have Donk's ninja sweat training, cardio
kinetic satology techniques, So like.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Perfect, I'd like to work with someone who sounds like
they have more than a second grade education, someone who
I can understand and knows actual fitness terms.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Okay, well, you're like going to be charged for this
session anyway, so like I do what.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Did you do?

Speaker 3 (03:13):
This is considering?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, no, did you just stay? I'm being charged for
this phone call.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, DONK has to charge you for my sweatspertise that
I used in this phone call, and gratuity is accepted
on all training sessions. So like, if you want to
throw me like a bone, that'd be cool.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
If anything, you need to pay me for wasting my time.
This is absurd. I need to talk to someone else.
I'm going to cancel my subscription with this gym. I'm
going to find a completely different facility, all because of
Donkin is freaking Ninja swdding.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Well, then I'll let you know that this is actually
a prank phone call. This is Jubil from the Jubil
Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband
set you up.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
No, no.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Again.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Wait, he said that he.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Just booked some trainings sessions and he was saying that
you're gonna get hooked up with a meathead, so he
wanted to mess with you.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
No no, wait, So Donk isn't real.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
I mean he's real in my mind, but like, I
don't think you're going to be getting a Nindu sweat
in with him. Sorry disappointing. Oh thanks God.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was like, do I like to get a lawyer
and see this person? Crazy?

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Wake up every morning with Jubiles phone Franks